rich beck

who you should fight, the martian
  • Mark Watney: for the love of god do not fight mark!!! what the fuck is wrong with you if you do wanna fight mark???? has this man not been through enough?? you should really just hug him and NOT FIGHT HIM
  • Melissa Lewis: u can try and fight the Commander but idk how well you'll come out of that. she's tipped 200 pound men out of their beds and also is badass naval officer. maybe for your own sake, don't fight Lewis
  • Rick Martinez: he might deserve a small fist fight. he makes awful jokes that deserve a punch every now and then. you could probably fight him and he'd laugh about it. he is also an air force guy so he has some training too. so watch out.
  • Chris Beck: it looks like u wouldnt wanna fight him but you should. mostly because deep down he enjoys it. as a doctor he knows just where to punch and hit so you will probably not fare well. and he probably likes to seem edgier than he actually is.
  • Beth Johanssen: NO FIGHTING THIS ADORABLE NERD. NO. she is an angel and u should be ashamed if you have ever wanted to fight Johanssen. And if u did Beck would hunt you down and fight you.
  • Alex Vogel: don't fight our lovable German. He is precious and needs to be protected. even tho im p sure Vogel could easily stand his own in a fight, just dont do it. save ur effort for fighting other people.
  • Teddy Sanders: fuck him up. just do it. go for it. let it all out. he sorta deserves it.
  • Mitch Henderson: probably also deserves to be fought. so I say do it. it'll be great actually and Sanders would thank you for it. To which you could then fight Sanders afterwards. maybe fight both of them at the same time actually.
  • Venkat Kapoor: you could get away with fighting Kapoor but only one time. he sorta deserves it for not telling the crew that Mark was alive. but that is it! no more! do not over fight Kapoor.
  • Rich Purnell: NO FIGHTING. HE IS A CINNAMON ROLL TO PRECIOUS FOR THIS WORLD AND DOESNT NEED THAT.
  • Annie Montrose: Fight her verbally. throw all the fucks and shits, goddamns that you can at her and she will still win i am sure of this. (Mark Watney might be her only true competitor)
let’s groove tonight

The Martian
Rich Purnell, Melissa Lewis, Beth Johanssen, Rick Martinez, Alex Vogel, Chris Beck
The Ares 3 crew, while Watney is still recovering, takes an unsuspecting Rich Purnell out for a drink to celebrate his Manoeuvre.

“PURNELL, WE KNOW YOU’RE IN THERE.”

Rich lifts his head off his pillow, blinking blearily in the artificial computer light that bathes his room, having been rudely awoken by the loud and insistent banging on his door that preceded the yelled summons. He blinks a few more times, clearing the sticky feeling from his eyes – what time did he fall asleep? He doesn’t know – and forces himself to a sitting position with a groan, the duvet pooling at his feet. He yawns, sleepily rubbing the back of his neck, and flinches when the banging starts again.

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