Martin: From Portland to Cleveland. Arthur: Yes! Via Finland. Martin: I´m not sure that counts, Arthur. Does it count Douglas? Carolyn: Of course it does. Arthur: Really? Because I know lots of those. England, Greenland, Iceland, Ireland… Douglas: I´m quite sure there was a difference between a country and an airport. Now let me think what that was… Arthur: …Scotland, Switzerland, Swedenland… Martin: Swedenland? Arthur: Yes! You can have Vikingland, Skip. What a great game, Douglas. Douglas: (exasperated) Carolyn. Carolyn: Don´t like being beaten at your own game? Douglas: It´s not my game, it´s his! Martin: Yes, and it´s called Just add “land” to anything. Arthur: Chaps, this one will count as two! Falkland Island! Carolyn: Plausible and creative. Douglas: Oh, don´t encourage him. He stretched the rules so thin, they´re practically invisible. Carolyn: You should be proud, then. He learned from the best.
The crew were on their way to Kent, And on the way they stopped in Brent, And had some tea in Stoke on Trent, To three or four more towns they went - (Two more, in fact, than what was meant For Arth, though not a bad young gent Is not so good at maps, and sent Them on their way to far off Llent A fact which put a quite large dent In funds which had to then be spent On fuel to get them back to Kent.)
My heart is like a hedge maze
Inside a sprawling fence of tin
But you must walk for days and days
To see the best parts further in.
Anyone can hop the tin fence
And see the daisies planted there.
Anyone who has the patience
Might make it to the winding stair.
And once there might climb round and round
Until they reach the first landing
From which they’ll hear tremendous sound
Caused by waterfalls outstanding.
Now, one who’s made of sterner stuff
Might pick a path over the falls,
And one who is quite brave enough
Might even reach the castle walls
Whereupon a riddle contest
Must be won to obtain entry
(There once was one who simply guessed
And was picked off by the sentry).
Now don’t think that you’ve won the game
At this point, there’s still far to go
And now must face the room of flame,
The downfall of many a beau.
But I won’t tell you of the rest
Though you may chose to seek it out,
And if you are to pass the test
You’ll find a treasure without doubt.
Like most things, the best bits of heart
Are not outside, but further in,
And if you make it to that part
We can live forever therein.