I don’t think I could ever begin to scrabble together words that would come close to being worthy of the apology you deserve. I was young, and I was stupid. I didn’t love myself and didn’t think that others would either. So I wasn’t myself. And I’m sorry for that. I wish you would have found out differently. I wish I would have told you. I wish I could have given us closure. I wish I had an excuse. But more than anything I wish that you never gave my the power to hurt you. I never meant to, but I did more than I’ve ever hurt anyone else and that kills me. I hope you’re doing well. I hope you don’t think about me anymore. But if you do, I hope you think about how much I loved you, and not how much I hurt you. I know its never going to happen, but one can only hope that we reconnect one day. Who knows. the universe does mysterious things.

Forever asking “what if?”


RHA: Replies to Comments OUTSIDE Tumblr - Part 1

(Warning; long post)


[1] hizamaruu said: “lol any person that complains about what a girl is wearing in an mmo are just butthurt insecure people because they dont look as good as the person they play >.> grow up so what if they look better than you or so what if youre attracted to it but stay in the closet about it cuz youre embarrased get over it and play your game or dont play it its that simple quit bitching publicly over something so little as armor on a fictional piece of polygons kthx”

Tica’s Reply

This is so wrong on so many levels, my friend. Let’s break this down; you say that

any person that complains about what women wear in mmos are “butthurt” and “insecure” because we don’t look “as good as them”, correct? First of, do you have any proof? Have anyone ever said “I don’t like this character because they look better than me”? And how is that logical, especially in mmos? Normally, when you customize your character, you create someone you want to be, find appealing and etcetera. When female characters are made, they are rarely ever made with a female audience in mind; they’re made to be eye-candy, a sex object, for heterosexual, horny men. We do not find that attractive. We find it offensive. We feel objectified because there was no other thought to her other than “make her sexy”; because psh, who needs an actual unique design, right? (answer: Everyone! Females are humans too! *gasp*) There’s literally nothing to be jealous over, because we DON’T want to be these characters. We feel uncomfortable being portrayed like that. And this is what saddens us. There is nothing we feel comfortable with; but of course, once we express our opinion about this, we come off as “bitching”, which is something you clearly need to think over. Also, when you tell us to get over it or don’t play it, you are basically saying that you like it and won’t listen to reason. I’m up for a conversation here, where we can discuss, not blatantly ignore what others have to say or think. You’re allowed to have an opinion, but do not try to stop anyone from telling theirs. 

[2] Anonymous said: “like heroes would wear bulletproof vests in action movies or something… same thing”

Tica’s Reply:

No, it is not the same thing. In the past it was seen as easier to draw their uniforms more form fitting. There’s also this thing about flexibility and the ability to hide the suit under the clothes; and this goes for both men and women. Besides, technically there are heroes with bulletproof vests, see the Batsuit, for example. Besides, no bulletproof vests =/= sexulization.

[3] Anonymous said: “A beautful woman does not need clothes or armors… haha”

Tica’s Reply:

Actually, they do, unless you’re willing to sacrifice logic, reason, story, setting and treating both genders as equal.

It probably would be a bit thought-provoking if I said “A beautiful man does not need clothes or armors”, wouldn’t it? Especially when you see men run around naked… all the time.

You can be beautiful, strong, sexy, and everything in between with clothes on and a proper armor. There are some amazing examples out there, and many of us are hoping to see more of that. Who doesn’t love to actually see a design that describes the character or setting? A design someone actually thought trough, instead of just slapping on a bikini. Character designers are limiting themselves by doing this; when there’s billion of different ways to create a character.

And yes, I am aware of that there are some people, female and male, that do enjoy having their character running around naked/half naked, maybe because they feel more powerful that way or they like the outfit as fetish-wear or sexual-roleplay, and that is alright. As long as it’s equal, and treated with care and respect.

[4] Mika said: “May I say this to you all,they said on mmo news that 80 or 85 % that play mmos game are mostly guys so you womans better not be taking us down about this CAUSE THEY ARE MORE OF US THEN YOU IN ALL MMO GAMES.”

Tica’s Reply:

Just, allow me to laugh at this for a moment.

Keep reading


R´ha has officially been released!

After seven months of intensive work. I suggest to watch it in full quality, as well as a nice sound system, if possible.

I appreciate sharing this with your friends :)

R´ha is a solo project I created during the first year of my studies. Special thanks to Dave Masterson for voice acting and to Hartmut Zeller for sound and music, as well as to my wife for her support!

http://www.hartmutzeller.de - Sound by Hartmut Zeller

http://www.imdb.com/name/nm2717717/ - Voice acting by Dave Masterson

Representation: Scott Glassgold / IAM Entertainment - scottglassgold@iamsports-ent.com


After the Jennings Area Government, I also serve as the grad adviser for the Writing on the Wall (WotW) project. If you haven’t heard of it, you need to implement it on your campus asap!

WotW is a two-week social justice program sponsored by our Inter-Residence Hall Association. This is the first week of WotW, which consists of brick painting. Anyone – professors, residents, students, random people of Gainesville – can come by the Plaza of the Americas (one of our free-speech zones on campus) to paint a brick with any word or phrase that has hurt their feelings, made them feel marginalized or offended them. No censorship whatsoever. Then, the wall stands all of next week. On Friday, we come together to literally tear down the wall.


This was done by one kid in Germany. His name is Kaleb Lechowski. And he’s only 22 years old. Good god this is awesome.


Amazing, amazing piece of work.
If it’s true that this will be developed further, the completed project will definitely be worth watching.

R´ha [short movie]


Today The King’s Troop Royal Horse Artillery took over from the Household Cavalry to provide the Queen’s Life Guard at Horse Guards.  More usually associated with the ceremonial gun salutes and musical rides with their 13lb guns, they took on the role of both mounted and dismounted guard at the entrance of Horse Guards.

This year, for the first time, they are using Knightsbridge Barracks, the home of the Household Cavalry Mounted Regiment, for the period of their duty, as opposed to Wellington Barracks, which they have used in previous years.  

Londoners can now enjoy the spectacle of a different uniform and a different army regiment at Horse Guards on Whitehall.

The change is taking place while the Household Cavalry Mounted Regiment take a break from ceremonial duties for a period of equine training in Norfolk.

Major Robert Skeggs RHA, Commanding Officer of The King’s Troop, said, “It’s a tremendous honour to undertake the role of The Queen’s Life Guard at Horse Guards, and a great opportunity to show another aspect of our expertise in ceremonial duties to the public. I am sure residents of London and tourists will be delighted to see The King’s Troop back again.”

Photographer: Sergeant Rupert Frere; Crown copyright

1:25 Variant cover by JONBOY MEYER
On sale JULY 8 • 32 pg, FC, $2.99 US • RATED T
Retailers: This issue will ship with two covers. Please see the order form for details.
How can Red Hood and Arsenal possibly survive an attack of killer mimes? Yeah, you read that right: mimes!


R'ha - Behind the Scenes