revok one

Oh, you had me living a lie for a year? Maybe I'll just go ahead and dismantle every aspect of your life.

Well I was had! I been took! I been hoodwinked! Bamboozled! Led astray! Run amok!

This is a trailer trash roller coaster. All aboard!

The Lies

I thought I was in a slightly tumultuous but overall fun relationship for a year. I had gotten out of a 12 year relationship when I met Fuckboi, he was so charming and handsome I thought I won the lottery! He was super pushy about saying “I love you” first and defining our relationship. He introduced me to his family. His niece started calling me Auntie. He tells me about his 3 children and their mothers and lies about how the mother of his oldest hates him and is keeping him away from the kid.

But then things started getting weird. His “ex” started calling all the fucking time, multiple times a day. They had children together, but the grandmother had custody the lie I was told to make it seem normal was that both of them had jobs where they traveled a lot, so they signed legal guardianship over to the g-ma to make schooling & emergency issue easier. Then she moved down to the city we were loving in for “work training”. Then she was moving down permanently without the kids. When I asked why the kids weren’t coming, the lie I was told they need to stay in the same school Um, they are 6 and 4 I’d say staying with parents is more important at that age than their peer group. It was weird, but I’m the cool girlfriend and it wasn’t my place to tell them where their daughters should live.

His “work” was in the cannabis industry, kind of. He worked with the “ex” brother in law going to legal states, buying pounds at a time and trafficking it via USPS. So, when he tells me he’s going to Oregon I think nothing of it.

After a week in Oregon, a lot of stories aren’t adding up, like his phone is always dead even though he carries a power bank with him. THEN one of his “friends” starts posting cuddled up selfies with him. I quickly put 2 and 2 together and dump him for cheating on me with this chick in Oregon.

The Truth

After I dumped him I made a messy facebook post on his wall, which the mother of his oldest child sees and she contacts me and lays out the truth!

He never contacts his oldest daughter, even though he has her cellphone. No one is keeping him from her.

  • He owes $20k in back child support for her, as he has never once made a payment and he moves around a lot & works under the table, so the mother was never able to collect garnishments or anything.
  • He has a huge criminal record starting with rape he committed at age 15, and then a lifetime of fraud, larceny and drug charges I knew nothing about!
  • His “ex” who moved to our city was his girlfriend of 9 years who was very much still in a relationship with him
  • They willingly gave up the 2 children because they preferred to use drugs; him - heroin, her - pills
  • There is a FOURTH child!?!?!?! He and the mother conspired to pin the paternity on another poor sap and it’s been 17 years now that this other man has been paying for a kid that is not his
  • I was his side chick
  • His family knew and played along in the lie and included their 10 and 16 year old children in the lie!
  • His chick in Oregon is actually his starcrossed lover from childhood! And every time they would try to be together one or the other would end up in jail!
  • The Oregon chick ALSO has a criminal record highlights include criminally negligent homicide from a DUI where she killed her passenger, fraud, larceny, drug charges

This shocked me, so I paid for a criminal background check which is how I learned of their records.

The Revenge

I PROFUSELY thanked the ex for telling me the truth about the situation. I mulled on it for a bit trying to convince myself to simply consider myself lucky and just walk away with my dignity intact. But then he’d be winning and I knew I had everything in my power to come down on him like Thor’s hammer.

  • I gave the ex ALL of his info - SSN, State ID#s, current and past known addresses. With this she contacted her state’s Child Support Services.
  • He now will have his Drivers license revoked and can’t get one no matter the state he moves to until he is current with his past payments.
  • If he ever gets a real job 25% of his wages will be garnished
  • He now has a warrant for his arrest in the state his oldest kid lives.
  • He’s trying to play house with his new GF and contacted the mother of his oldest to arrange a meeting with his kid and his gf’s child. The mother is “playing nice” and pretending it’s a-go and he is planing a trip to visit the daughter. He will not see her, at the “meeting” he will be seeing the police and they will arrest him for failure to pay, and he won’t get out of jail until he pays a sizable chunk of the $20,000 past-due PLUS bail!
  • I gave the ex his info THE DAY BEFORE his federal tax refund was set to go out, She was fast enough at getting his info to CSS that they INTERCEPTED his full tax refund and now he has for the first time paid for something for his child.
  • His past due child support is also going on his credit report
  • I know the name of the business his ex brother in law owns and uses to launder his drug trafficking money, I dropped a dime to the IRS. So, he’s losing his only steady income soon and can’t get a job a Walmart due to his criminal record, and if he DOES manage to find someone that hires without criminal background checks he will lose ¼ of his paycheck.
  • I told this story to two of my “hacker” friends and they got into contact with hackers more talented than themselves and are now going to “take care of” a few more things for me, like finding the guy who was conned into paying for a kid that’s not his.

Unpopular opinion: While I am generally pro-feminist, I don’t think it has monopoly on gender equality or justice.

This goes for other movements and ideologies concerning other issues as well (BLM concerning racial issues, PETA concerning animal welfare, etc.)

I no longer identify as feminist anymore because a) it’s not an identity anyway, it’s a political movement b) there be too many problems in it’s popular manifestations for me to overlook and c) these same popular manifestations that are so very prevalent do not welcome dissenting voices - unless of course the dissent is that we’re not “intersectional” enough. One of the big reasons why this new wave of feminist and social justice awakening is not having the transformative impact that we want it to is because it’s beholden to liberal identity politics and co-opted concepts that are divorced from their roots, which elevates hypervisible performance both of the marginalized and their allies on social media over nuanced theory and action. It rewards attacks on personhood (AKA ad hominem) with only tangential and vague appeals to ideology over dialectic methods and structural change. It focuses too much on the ‘micro’ and not enough on the macro. It hunkers down in essentialism and tribalism, though member ship can easily br revoked if one does not fall into line. It values diversity of demographics but mistakes this for diversity of voice and conflates it with inclusivity. It believes listening is the same as agreement and when you don’t agree that must mean you aren’t listening (AKA “talking over” someone).

It fails precisely because it’s the distaff counterpart to conservative identity politics. You can’t defeat something by mimicking the very thing that is holding you down. That’s not radical it’s just reprocessed same old same old. Putting a trans, disabled, woman of color as its face doesn’t change that.


Pixerys Lavellan x Dorian Pavus

“Beam me up, Amatus~”

My contribution to Dorianmance Week! Which, as we all know, is the ideal time to expand on a SpaceNerd x Alien AU, rofl.

The basic premise is that Dorian is an astronomy nerd who is convinced Thedosians are NOT alone in the universe despite not having scientific proof.  As a result, he is relentlessly mocked by his colleagues and is threatened to have his academic credentials revoked. One night while stargazing, he’s finally proven right. Though he gets a little more than he bargained for.

Meanwhile Pixy is a space-faring hamster from the Planet Pixy, which is inhabited by billions of adorable clones who all identify as Pixy and all share a telepathic hivemind of every Pixy’s collective thoughts, memories, feelings and experiences as they explore the universe. And they all love Dorian!!!!

 Depicted above is their first meeting, where Dorian meets just the one stray Pixy that wandered from the rest of the group into his corner of the galaxy. Their relationship (and Pixy’s presence in Thedas for that matter) is largely a secret because Dorian is paranoid that the scientists at TASA will want to study Pixy (ie. put in tank, dissect, perform hideous experiments etc).

The red pompom on Pixy’s head is a dendrite-like extension that relays signals to other fellow Pixy’s across the cosmos and unifies the collective Pixy consciousness.  Like synapses bouncing between adorable sentient neurons in a gigantic primordial cosmic brain entity that exists in everywhere in the universe at once.  This is in contrast to Thedosians who resemble Earthlings and have their own isolated lives and individual experiences in their own tiny pocket of the universe.  But ANYWAY.

I guess you could say it’s a bit of a space ship. …Get it? =D;;;;

Hope you like!!! XD;; The idea came to me while I was drunk and blew up from there.

Good Cop, Bad Cop (M) [PRLG]

Summary: Asshole FBI!Jungkook / Cop AU. In which you, a corrupt police officer, cross paths with the FBI who threaten to have your freedom revoked, but on one, simple condition.
Genre: Action/Angst/Drama/Smut…eventually
Words: 3,418
Warnings: Violence, drugs, death/murder, wild cops that cannot be stopped
A/N: Inspired by the many cop shows I watch, but mainly my thirst for Jungkook in a suit. 

Keep reading

I am seriously wondering why D&D went through so much trouble to give Sansa Arya’s storyline and basically make it fanfiction and have it make no sense whatsoever. Seriously I’m wondering why.

It started when Sansa took the place of Jeyne Poole marrying Ramsay (and also being tortured way less). And right here it already doesn’t make sense. Sansa is still married to Tyrion, this marriage can only end if it’s revoked and also if one of them dies leaving the other a widow. Or (again) if it is revoked by the high septon. Which it hasn’t been because they were accused with kingslaying (false accusation though). But because of that they can’t go to the high septon without being arrested. So D&D go ahead with it anyway because Sansa should suffer some more so that when she wants to become queen (again, just like when she was little, only now she wants to rule the North instead of all of Westeros) she is empowered and people are happily rooting for the pretty girl with the even sadder backstory getting what she wanted when she was a whiney brat. But at least now she is doing it to get back at her rapist (who wasn’t even supposed to be her rapist like I said) and everyone that did her wrong, and to regain the Northern roots she never cared to have until the south decided to completely turn on her.

D&D can’t seem to allow any female “winners” without them being pretty and sassy, what is the problem with giving at least one female that isn’t a supermodel, that always know just what snarky thing to say, an interesting story (like in asoiaf). Just like when they replaced boring, not gorgeous looking Jeyne Westerling with fierce, pretty Talica and made Robb look like a douche in the process (but that’s another rant that someone else already perfectly explained). And now replaced Jeyne Poole (fake Arya) with sassy Sansa. So apparantly Northern looking Arya isn’t pretty enough to be interesting.

So then Theon saves Sansa instead of some nobody which actually was supposed to be his redemption. Then Sansa goes to find Jon and finds him on her first try with hardly anything stopping her. On the way she picks up a nice crew (Brienne and Pod) they pledge their loyalty and service, and she finds Jon,  they reunite and she decides to take back Winterfell while reminding Jon that she can do it alone and that she has the Stark name while he doesn’t… uh no? You actually don’t have the Stark name. You’re either a Lannister or a Bolton. And Robb disinherited you as well which will definitely keep you from ever being queen in the North if anybody finds out. In that same will he also declared Jon his heir. And considering you don’t have an army and will have trouble finding one now, you really can’t do it alone.

Also, why lie to Jon (about Littlefinger)? He’s already helping you with his wildling army (how does it feel to be the one with less power?). Keeping him in the dark about this type of stuff is how you make yourself untrustworthy again. Sure you apologized for torturing him all those years (which is basically nothing in comparison, but whatever he accepted), but this isn’t really a great start to working together. I feel like this might come back to bite her in the ass later. Or if they continue with this fanfiction it will just help her in getting everything she wants.

And out of everyone Sansa is the least likely to be getting any support from the North. She looks Southern, she acts Southern, she basically betrayed Ned for as far as they know, she has been disinherited by Robb, she always pissed on Jon and Arya who actually did look and act Northern, and she basically didn’t give a shit about the North until the South rejected her, and now all of a sudden the North decides it is independent and wants it’s own rulers, and tada Sansa’s childhood dream can become a reality for her, and she is a Northern warrior queen with more strength than you’ve ever seen.

On an end note: some things I said about what Sansa’s motivations are or stuff like that are obviously not the entire reason or hardly a reason at all and just sarcastic. But I was ranting so I’m obviously not going to be politically correct about everything. However I still believe that some of the sarcastic reasons I mentioned played some part in her thinking process.

Also there is more stuff but I feel like these are the most fundamental things that D&D messed up just to help Sansa. And I just don’t get why. They made Robb look like douchebag (it actually started with the Jeyne Westerling-Talisa switch-up  but that was not so directly related to Sansa as it was to the parallel with Theon saving Jeyne Poole, but still Robb looking like an idiot for marrying this hot chick he’d seen, Talisa, instead of the Frey girl also had to do with Sansa’s changed storyline), they took Theon’s surprising redemption and turned it into one that you’d expect and could see coming, and they gave Arya this dragged out boring storyline in Braavos. Why? So that they can all serve their Northern queen? Anyway if I list all the things that D&D did to boost Sansa’s personality and her entire storyline I wouldn’t be done tomorrow.

Good Cop, Bad Cop (M) [PT.2]

Summary: Asshole FBI!Jungkook / Cop AU. In which you, a corrupt police officer, cross paths with the FBI who threaten to have your freedom revoked, but on one, simple condition.
Genre: Action/Angst/Drama/Smut…eventually
Words: 1,342
A/N: Upcoming chapters will be longer and more in depth!!

PROLOGUE / PT. 1 / PT. 2

Keep reading

KF Week 2016 || Day 05: AU

» AU where KF have been best friends since early childhood with a shared fascination for volleyball (Prompted by Fai’s starry-eyed wonder & curiousity) & would go on to lead a top 8 elite high school volleyball team in their prefecture together - Fai as their animated, yet shrewd captain & star setter, Kurogane as the tough, but respected co-captain & widely feared team ace. ….Sound familiar….?

Haikyuu Seijouh
crossover bc IwaOi is practically just a synonym for KuroFai. They pretty much run off a similar dynamic & chemistry - Iwa-Chan is like a younger Kuro-Chan <- respectively dubbed as such by their hyperactive, irksome but they’ll-stick-by-them-no-matter-the-weather-anyways companion; Oikawa & Fai - the former an extroverted, okay way more narcissistic, & ambitious version of the latter.. (Okay they’re fairly unalike at the intrinsic level) but complete with the exact same Japanese voice actor!! (Ty Namikawa Daisuke).

(Additional artist blabber under the cut)

Keep reading


The Glaistig is a type of ghost in Scottish mythology, as well as a type of fuath (malevolent water spirit). Her Gaelic name translates to “water imp”.


She may appear either as a beautiful woman or a monstrous mien. She is often depicted as a half-woman half-goat (similar to a Satyr). The lower goat half of her hybrid form is usually disguised by a long, flowing green robe or dress, and the woman often appears grey with long golden hair.

She is said to frequent lochs and rivers in the Highlands of Scotland.

There are variations surrounding whether or not Glaistig is benevolent or malevolent.

Some stories have her luring men to her lair with her enchanting song or dance, where she would then drink their blood. Other such tales have her casting stones in the path of travellers or throwing them off course.

However, in other sources she is said to be a type of tutelary deity and protector of cattle and herders, and in at least one legend in Scotland, the town of Ach-na-Creige had such a spirit protecting the cattle herds. The townsfolk, in gratitude, poured milk from the cows into a hollowed-out stone for her to drink. According to the same legend, her protection was revoked after one local youth poured boiling milk into the stone, burning her. She has also been described in some folklore as watching over children while their mothers milked the cows and fathers watched over the herds.

The Green Lady

Another rendition of the Glaistig legend is that she was once a mortal noblewoman, to whom a “faerie” nature had been given or who was cursed with the goat’s legs and immortality, and since has been known as “The Green Lady”. She might either be benign, watching over houses and looking after the weak mind, cause poltergeist activity, or appear as a vengeful ghost

In some tales, she was the daughter of a lord who was murdered in a green dress, and then stuffed unceremoniously up the chimney by a servant. It is said that her footsteps can still be heard as she walks the castle in sadness.

However there is another variation on the Green Lady legend. It tells of a mortal woman who lived on an island near the Firth of Clyde and who was smitten by the faeries and was granted her unspoken wish to become one of them. Afterwards, she dedicated herself to watching over the cattle of the island until a farmer offended her greatly through rude treatment and she left, making her way to the mainland by leaping to nearby islets before snagging her hoof in the rigging of a passing ship. She, according to this tale, fell into the ocean and presumably drowned, or at any rate was never seen again.

“Where’re the bits?”

Twooie looks up from her phone, takes a long sip of her iced tea, then says the most frightening thing Bucky’s heard out of her mouth in a long, long time.

“I dunno.”

They’re in Mall of America. They’ve been in Mall of America for the last four hours. Steve and Bucky want to leave Mall of America but they’ve only managed to track down half of their kids. Five and Six have been retrieved from the stationary shop a few corners down and Trip has been collected from Claires. One, Two, Four and the Bits were all supposed to be in the little indoor amusement park place, but here’s Two, saying she ‘dunno’ where the little ones are, and Bucky could just about pull out his hair.

“Are they with One?” Steve asks. “We’re leaving in ten minutes, we need to find them.”

“I think they are,” Twooie says. She takes a long, leisurely sip of her tea, coughs, then taps her fingers against the cup before setting it down. Trip immediately leaves Bucky’s side to sit next to her and pick at what Buck knows used to be Four’s food.

Bucky exchanges a glance with Steve. Yeah, no, this is bad. Neither Bucky nor Steve have so much as a basic understanding of Thing Speak, but they know it when they see it. For some reason, Twooie’s called the others to sit with her. Five and Six are picking seats now, Five taking out his new stationary paper once he’s good and settled, showing the purchase to Trip.

It’s really fucking worrying when Twooie does this shit. Twooie very rarely goes along with One and Four’s bratty little schemes and when she does, they’re always especially bratty. 

They are so not leaving this mall in the next ten minutes.

“You think,” Steve repeats. His tone is even flatter than Two’s; he doesn’t want to put up with this. Steve hates malls, gets so very overstimulated in malls, and Steve is ready to leave. Bucky is also ready to leave, but his patience isn’t shot like his husband’s. He touches Steve’s arm. His patience isn’t shot yet, but the last thing he needs is Steve getting into an argument with a twelve-year-old girl who also happens to be a clone of himself. That’s gonna end with all three of them being cranky, and still four children short.

“Where’d you see 'em last?” Bucky says.

Twooie must decide he deserves a break. “Ball pit." 

Bucky and Steve both turn to look at the large, store-sized ball pit fenced off from the rest of the mall by a mesh barrier. There’s roughly twenty kids fucking around in there, half of which are blond and small enough to look skinny at a distance. He tries to find the short, fire-engine red hair that would be Four, but no dice. 

"I’ll get 'em,” Bucky says to Steve. “Take a load off, I’ll be right back.”

“Good Luck, Sunshine,” Six says. Which is in no way ominous.

Bucky scrunches his eyebrows together. “'Good luck’? Sixish, wherefore 'good luck’?”

Two and Trip are giving Six a Look, so Six just shrugs. Bucky makes an exaggerated whining noise.

“Good luck,” Steve repeats. 

Bucky heads to the ball pit. Ten minutes later, he comes back for reinforcements, collecting Steve and shooting a wounded, 'why are you doing this to me???’ look at Twooie, who shrugs it off before getting up to refill her tea. 

An hour later, they’re finally herding all eight children across the parking lot to the van. “You are never going in another ball pit for as long as you live,” Steve tells One.

“That’s a little harsh,” One says. 

“Can I go in another ball pit?” asks Four.


“What about us?” asks Sev. 

“Yeah,” says Eight, “we can, right?”

“No. No more ball pits. No more ball pits ever. Your collective ball pit privileges have been revoked.”

“Jesus,” One says, half to Twooie and half to everyone else, “someone is cranky.

Bucky rolls his eyes and finishes his text to Nat. ’They’ve really taken your spy lessons to heart. Thanks loads. NOt.’

Her reply comes a few seconds later. ’Omg what’d they do???

Ducked us for an hour using a ball pit as improvised cover


Bucky sighs and pockets his phone. “We aren’t talking to 'Tasha,” he says.

“We hate Natasha,” Steve agrees. 

“Natasha is awesome,” One says. 

“Get in the van,” Bucky says. “No, nope, I get front. Go sit by your sister. And Steve’s picking the music.”

Everyone groans. Good to know that’s still an effective punishment.

drake and ezra take me out to dinner
  • ezra: this is a decent selection of wines, we should get a red and white
  • me: sounds good. you should pick since you've been studying so much. you can show off and impress us.
  • drake: yeah it's good you finally graduated past getting whatever's second cheapest
  • ezra: hows that supposed to make me feel
  • drake: no it's not an insult, im proud of how you've been applying yourself to something
  • ezra: oh. thanks babe
  • *the waiter comes*
  • waiter: have you gentlemen had a chance to look at the wine list?
  • ezra: yes we have and i think we'll have both the burgundy and-
  • drake: you know scratch that, we're here to have a good time. we'll have a bottle of champagne, ice cold, fam!
  • waiter: very good, sir. i'll have that out momentarily
  • ezra: *looking at drake, very hurt* Aubrey...
  • drake: yeah?
  • ezra: AUBREY...
  • drake: yeah? what? what's wrong babe?
  • ezra: i was gonna order the wine
  • drake: i know you were
  • ezra: and you didn't let me
  • drake: .....
  • ezra: i get that you're a big deal but we are all supposed to trust and respect each other and that includes trusting my judgment and intuition even about small things like this. i think you really need to work on trusting me. you didn't even consult me.
  • drake: ......
  • ezra: i'm listening, aubrey, if there's something you want to say you can say it openly. that's part of the trust i'm talking about.
  • drake: ..... okay i'll say it. i don't trust your judgment. not about women, not about money, and not about wine.
  • ezra: i've been learning a lot about it lately
  • drake: no, you watched Somm on netflix then rollerbladed to the library and read one book about french wine. you didn't even check it out.
  • ezra: I couldn't check it out! my library card was revoked after i heckled one of the librarians who shushed me while i was taking selfies with grad students! you know that! i told you on the way here!
  • drake: you were ordering a burgundy. i don't even like burgundy. i don't pretend to know a lot about wine, but i know i don't like burgundy! i got champagne because everyone likes champagne and i just wanted to have a good time with my friends and celebrate life. and besides, i am picking up the check.
  • ezra: nobody asked you to do that, aubrey
  • drake: okay but if you're not having a good time we don't have to be here. i just want to have a good time together
  • ezra: .... fine. you're right. i didn't consult you and i shouldn't be mad at you for not asking me.
  • drake: so we good?
  • ezra: yeah. we're good.
  • me: not so fast
  • drake and ezra: ? what ?
  • me: you both have been fighting about wine for this whole time and have forgotten....
  • ezra: what did we forget?
  • me: that you ordered a bottle of champagne to drink in front of me. i'm too young to drink!

“I honestly wasn’t even sure if you were both real at this point, or if one of you was just some sort of fugue spirit guide to hell, or if one of you was actually just a detective from the elite squad known as the Special Victims Unit, and this is one of your stories, doink doink.”

No Shave November

Series: Fairy Tail

Pairing: Zervis

Genre: Humor/ AU

Rated: T for kissing I guess

Summary: This year Mavis is determined to beat Zera. 

*A/N- Set in my HS/ Mob AU that IS going to be written eventually. 

I have no excuse for this. My computer privileges should be revoked after ten pm. 

x x x x x 

“Last looks, Zeref,” Mavis said, lying on the couch so she could stick her smooth, freshly shaven legs in his face.

“What?” He asked, confused, looking up from his paperwork at Mavis’s admittedly nice calves.

“It’s no shave November, and I’m in a competition with Zera to see who can grow their leg hair out the longest, so today is the last smooth leg day for a while.”

Keep reading

here’s your reminder that not only was Andrew Wakefield’s study unscientific and biased, it was also incredibly unethical.

people talk about how he was wrong and his science was wrong and he was not being objective, but they gloss over the fact that he did spinal taps, biopsies of material from rectums, barium radiographies, and seven colonoscopies a piece on children ranging from ages three to twelve, with a mean of six.  one child’s intestine was perforated from a colonoscopy.  these kids were too young to understand what was going on, much less consent.  

these children were mistreated just because they were autistic.  all in the name of “science”.  don’t forget.  don't ever think that Wakefield was in the right.  he had no reason to force a three year old child to swallow radioactive material.  none.  he deserved to have his license revoked and no one can convince me otherwise.

anonymous asked:

I saw this post recently that basically said aces and aros don't face oppression and face stigma instead and through that distinction cishet aces and aros don't belong in lgbt... and I'm kind of wondering how you'd respond to that bc it's been kind of bothering me. I could link you the original post if you'd like. thanks! no worries if you don't rly want to answer this tho

(This is a very long reply, so I’ve bold some parts to make it easier for those who have problems reading, like I do.)

It’s a very common thing in the LGBT community to try to lock out some aces and aro people, and only accept those who are already SGA (for lack of a better term) and/or Trans. It’s been going on since other people first became aware of asexuality and aromanticism, unfortunately. And sadly, I have to accept that I can’t respond to every single person who holds this idea, although I do try my best with what I can.

For the most part, I make my own posts, and then only respond to those that reblog mine with that sort of rhetoric. Although I have been known to reblog those posts that especially make me upset.

My acephobia tag is full of it, as well as stories from others who experience acephobia. (My arophobia tag is much less dense as I focus far more heavily on ace issues, I’m sorry to say.) So if you need some reference on that, on page 2 and page 3 is where I really get into replying to other ace and arophobes. (First page is mostly people talking about their own experiences, which is especially a good read if you want to arm yourself with knowledge.)

But sharing my first hand experiences is what I usually go for. I can’t speak of the experiences of others, although I do feel like I should repeat what other people have told me their experiences have been- and I also come at it with what I have learned over the years, and what I’ve seen. Things that people would like to forget and sweep under the rug. 

[And here I go into a rant, about something I’m still very bitter about.]

Like how cis white straight and sga women ignored that a new medication on the market would be used to medicalize asexual women, because they want a drug that will increase desire to want sex, the “female viagra” that has terrible side effects and acts nothing like actual viagra, (Viagra being an instant drug to keep an arrousal and Flibanserin having to be used every day to slightly increase one’s desire for sex.) because it was marketted as “female viagra” and “validates female sexuality”. And so, with the petitions that asexuals made, with our history, and still ongoing process of being diagnosed with a mental illness, we were lobbied against by “sex positive” cis white straight and sga women.

[/End rant.]

There’s a lot that you can say. Often times, when you state things that asexuals are actually oppressed with, such as dehumanization, constant threats, forced therapy by parents or loved ones, they comeback with “but it isn’t institutionalized oppression”, and when you comeback with what is institutionalized oppression that ace people face, (again I have more information on aces than aros, sorry) such as people being less willing to hire someone who is ace, less willing to rent out to someone who is ace, with overall more inclination to view them as robotic or, get this, animalistic, as well as feelings that they’ll try to make others ace, too- we also have a history of asexuals being diagnosed with HSDD (hypoactive sexual desire disorder), reguardless of identifying as ace or not- and in the DSM-V, having to state that you’re asexual in order to not be diagnosed with HSDD (which still requires already knowing what asexuality is, and accepting that it’s okay to be ace). And also marriage can be entirely revoked if one hasn’t had sex with their spouse.

And then when you come at them with all that it’s, “But you wont be beaten up on the streets for being ace or aro.”

Which tbh, sga people who are in the closet or can pass for straight, and trans people who are in the closet who can be passed as cis, by those standards, are not oppressed because they don’t get beaten up on the streets for being sga and/or trans.

In fact, equating your own sexuality/romantic orientation and transness with what harrassment you face can be very invalidating for a lot of people at best, and can only further stigmatize someone’s identity even more, by saying it’s “bad because look at all of these horrible things that have to happen for you to be a REAL sga or trans person!” Which, in the trans community at least, is a huge deal. People don’t feel like they’re “really trans” if they don’t have these certain traits that equate to some sort of suffering. It’s important to keep this in mind so you don’t accidentally invalidate those around you who have not faced the sort of things that you face. It’s important to remember that opression is not what makes us who we are. It’s important to remember that this is not a competition for who is oppressed the most. Do not invalidate.

So really. First know why what somebody says is bullshit, understand how what they say can hurt other people (but stay in your lain, do not speak of the experiences of others that are not of your own identity), and lock them into that corner that they’ve already made for themselves.

BUT MOST IMPORTANTLY, know that you probably wont change their mind. Do not do any of this to change their mind, because you’re probably not gonna do this. Argue with them and say what you have to say because other people are reading what you’re writing. Other people, who don’t have strong opinions, or are unsure about the whole thing, and are not dedicated to hating ace and aro people for their aceness and aroness, for them, this can make a difference. For other aces and aro people, this can make a difference. It can validate, and when you’re constantly feeling like you don’t belong anywhere, that can be very important.

Do this for other people. Do this for yourself. But don’t do this for the person you’re arguing with. Words are powerful. Ideas spread. Society can change. But you can’t change a person who is determined to not grow and learn as a person.

are you gonna stay the night? (1/8)

Chapter 1–the nights were mainly made for saying things you can’t say tomorrow (AO3 mirror)

Summary: When Gavin’s visa renewal is wrongfully rejected and he’s faced with imminent deportation, he desperately comes up with the solution to marry Michael. Michael realizes he doesn’t want Gavin to go and that the company needs him and decides to go through with it. Their ‘engagement’ comes under scrutiny by an asshole of an immigration agent, and Gavin and Michael are forced to fly to England and go through with faking their marriage, at which point, he meets Gavin’s family and witnesses first-hand Gavin’s rocky relationship with his family, just as things slowly go from fake to definitely not fake at all.

Chapter summary: In the end, there’s no other solution. It might not be the smartest, but it’s the most quick-acting one. 

Notes: So this is really part of my secret santa gift for ryanfreewood! The prompt was fake boyfriends and I took it a little further and turned it into a full-fledged fic. I’ll try to update every other week if not every week. Feedback and responses are very much appreciated <3 (just as an extra note, ive also referred to this fic as The Proposal fic a lot)

There was nothing that made Gavin Free more anxious than anything dealing with immigration.

And yet, here he was. Twenty-five years old, sitting alone in the badly lit waiting room of an immigration office, having received an urgent call just hours earlier that he was to come down here. It’d been a long time since he’d felt anxiety like this, the last time probably having to be when he was back in school. Actually, the way he felt now was strikingly similar to how he’d constantly felt in high school, and it was a feeling he thought he’d left behind when he’d graduated.

Keep reading