review-five

Looking durable and being durable are not the same thing. You cannot write that something is durable in a review if you haven’t been using it frequently for at least 6 months. If you haven’t been using it for a decent amount of time, you have no idea if it is durable or not and your five star review is misleading. 

the hot sauce community is so fucking funny all the five star reviews of the extract that clocks in at like 2 million scoville units are like “i shat myself and i was crying for 8 hours straight 5/5 would do again”

Zelda in BotW is an amazing character. If I had to make a list of the 10 best characters in the LoZ games, I have a hard time imagining she wouldn’t be on it. And nearly everything I’ve seen from other people who have played the game has been bursting with positivity and appreciation for this Zelda. 

However, I’m unfortunately not surprised to have eventually run across someone calling her “a miserable cunt” and a “shitty little shit bag” who is “demoralizing [Link] into oblivion” with over 100 people liking/reblogging their post. 

There are a couple of things to say in response to this. For starts, Jesus christ calm down. It’s wild to me how ready people are to hate characters for almost anything (and it overwhelmingly happens with female characters–jeez I wonder why). And second, did we even play the same game? Because you know what the WORST we ever saw Zelda acting towards Link was? 

That’s… that’s it. She told him she didn’t need an escort and shouted at him to stop following her. And this wasn’t just the worst that Zelda ever acted towards Link. It was also the ONLY time we saw her shouting at him or being mean to him. Was it rude/crummy/something Link didn’t deserve? Totally. Was it her being ~a miserable shitty little shit bag cunt that fucking destroyed Link’s sense of self worth~? Hell no. How the hell do you extrapolate THAT MUCH out of such a small scene? 

Just to help paint a larger, and more negative picture of Zelda, let’s talk about another memory. In the first memory, which was of Zelda preforming the ceremony to appoint Link as her knight, Zelda was acting very clearly depressed during the whole thing. That would have conveyed to Link how unhappy Zelda was with him being her knight, which would have surely made Link feel shitty. So there, that’s something else people who hate this Zelda can point to. But you know what? If you want to analyze things like this, Link also made Zelda feel shitty. Oh, sure, we all know that Link made Zelda feel shitty because of her own insecurities about being a failure of a royal princess while Link had successfully become the master of the Master Sword. But Link’s own behavior also made Zelda feel shitty. We saw in the third memory that Zelda would try to talk normally with Link. Talking casually and cheerfully about making adjustments to one of the Divine Beasts because that’s what she was passionate about! But Link… would never say anything back in response. He was silent. He was her appointed knight, but he wouldn’t even talk to her when she tried to talk to him. In fact, at that point Link had NEVER spoken to Zelda, as she expressed in her diary 

Imagine if their situations were reversed, and we saw Link talking to Zelda and Zelda refusing to respond to him and just staring at him with a blank expression–and then Link wrote in his diary about how stressful that was for him and how it made him feel like she thought he was a failure and hated him. The people who hate BotW Zelda would be jumping on that as an example of what a bitch Zelda was to Link. Even though when Link did it to Zelda, there’s no problem whatsoever apparently. Link was just a smol little precious angel that was cowering beneath Zelda’s “toxic belittling and dominance,” as one person described it. 

(And real quick… you know who was ACTUALLY “belittling” and “demoralizing” Link? Fucking Revali. You know, the guy who would walk right up to Link and go on a giant, passive aggressive and mockery-filled rant at Link about how he’s better than Link and Link doesn’t deserve the expectations that others have of him. I still think Revali is a solid character because it’s good to have a diverse cast with varied personalities and different relationship dynamics with each other. But for crying out loud, how is anyone going to hate on Zelda for how she acted towards Link early on when Revali was there being a straight up dick with 0 tragic character motivation behind him to make us sympathetic to why he acted like such a wad?) 

Of course I don’t believe that Link deserves any hate for being silent around Zelda for so long. Just like how I don’t believe that Zelda deserves any hate for the way she acted towards and felt about Link in the early memories. They were two youths who had the weight of the world placed upon their shoulders. Link’s ability to express himself was crushed by the weight of the expectations and judging eyes of everyone around him. Zelda lost her mother, was denied expressions of love from her father, was terrified that she was a failure who would doom the world to destruction because of her inability to access her powers, and was was stuck with a successful, brilliant knight who she assumed hated her and had no way of being told otherwise because HE WOULDN’T EVEN TALK TO HER. 

But despite all that the two became close. Link saved Zelda’s life. Zelda reevaluated how she thought of him and even apologized for her past behavior 

Zelda made an effort and kept talking to him, trying to get him to open up to her. And eventually he did, and she was able to learn the reason why he wouldn’t talk to her, or anyone, in the past. They traveled together. She examined his wounds after battle. They went out to collect specimens in the fields together. Zelda tried to get Link to lick a frog in the name of science. Link taught Zelda how to bond with her horse. They saw their home fall to Calamity Ganon and learned of the deaths of their family and friends. Their world collapsed. They fled. They defended each others’ lives, each saving the other. Zelda spent 100 years suffering alone to contain the abomination that destroyed their land while Link recovered from the injuries he gained protecting her. They fought together again. They freed Hyrule from 100 years of darkness and set out once again to rebuild their kingdom together. 

But yeah. Zelda was such a cunt, right? 

I mean, you can’t please everyone. That’s just to be expected. People are different. People have different attitudes and values, and like and enjoy different things, so there’s no piece of media that everyone will have the same thoughts and feelings on. It’s like how on the Nintendo eShop, BotW for the Wii U has 4719 five star reviews… and 21 one star reviews. You can’t please everyone. But again, jesus christ some people are just ready to violently hate Zelda for having extremely well developed character flaws and a rocky start to her relationship with Link that was the result of both of their individual issues clashing and preventing them from connecting and understanding each other even though they both felt nearly the exact same way. And even if you want to insist that everything bad about their early relationship was 100% Zelda’s fault alone, I wonder how Zelda could possibly make up for it… maybe putting in the effort to develop a very positive relationship with Link, saving his life just as he had saved hers, and spending 100 years in Ganon Jail would be enough to make up for it? 

…nah. You’ve got to imprison yourself for at least TWO HUNDRED years to make up for telling someone to stop following you one time. Totally. 

darkempressinfinitemind asked: How did you get into freelance?

The short version? Accidentally!

Longer version? It started with a friend hiring me to ghost write their memoir (before either of us knew what ghost writing was. Also he apparently had this awesome life before he knew me and never bothered to mention it before the idea of writing a book came along. Who knew? Random happenstance). I became more confident in the idea of writing for others, and then was referred to the site Peopleperhour.com by a friend of mine, who was trying to pick up freelancing.

I applied for my first job there, and it was literally months before I got any bites. My first bite ended up paying me $3 an hour. I was desperate, so I took it. It gave me a reference, and I got a better job, and a better job, and a better job, until I had enough references to apply for REALLY decent jobs. Fast forward, and here I am with my own Wordsmithing business.

But you want advice, don’t you?

  • Find a Freelancing Website

There’s Elance, PPH, and a wide range of others. Pick one that works for you (or multiple) and start drumming up your profile there. Get samples out so people can see your style of work.

  • Get Reviews at All Costs

Get people you know to write reviews. Take low paying jobs to get reviews. Take whatever jobs you can and get reviews, because they really are everything to a beginning freelancer. I started out with a GED (not even a high school diploma) and still got high paying jobs, because no one needs to see your credentials – they just need proof that real life people have given you a test run.

Degrees and all that? They’re to prove you know your stuff; that someone has tested you and written off on it. Reviews are the internet’s new degrees; be willing to invest some time and effort into them.

  • Take Any and As Much Work as You Can

Not only for the reviews, but for practice. There’s a new song and dance involved with freelancing that you won’t find anywhere else. Big companies are paying millions on Big Data to figure out what little nuances make customers happy. You don’t have Big Data, and you’re up against thousands of freelancers just like you – you have to figure out the key to standing out by hand.

Getting as many jobs as you can early on gives you a chance to test the waters and find your stride before you’re dealing with big clients that are less forgiving of your fumbles. You’ll learn something new from every job so you really ARE the top professional you claim to be.

  • Claim to Be a Professional

Yeah, yeah, yeah, I should give you advice about being honest and doing the leg work before you get started. But they say to dress for the job you want, not the job you have. So act like the professional you want to be, not the one you are.

If you’re 18 and this is your first freelancing job, make your profile and all your correspondences look like you’re 37 and have been freelancing for 10 years (don’t lie, just be indirect. Talk like you’re older. Say you’ve been freelancing for several years, even if you’ve only been freelancing for a few months. If you’re living at home with your parents and the topic of family comes up, just call them “family;” the client won’t know if you’re a married mother of five or are talking about your dad). People will look right over you if they THINK you’re not capable, without even giving you a chance to show what you can do. If you take away that first – sometimes incorrect – assumption, your foot’s in the door and you can prove yourself.

Then after you have 300 five-star reviews and a client list as long as your arms, you can reveal yourself as 20 with three years’ experience, and people will believe you’re a prodigy. Then you’ll get hired for being the talented young professional who IS their target audience, so you’re perfect to create a product FOR their target audience.  

  • Be Ready to Put in More Hours

Once you’ve been in the game a while and have established yourself, you can make your weekends sacred with no work stuff. But before then, you need to be on call all the time. What’s going to make you stand out against the rest in the beginning is timeliness.

If it’s a toss-up between you and someone just as qualified, the client will decide on whoever replies the fastest and most coherently. Reply to messages as soon as possible. Talk back and forth on the weekends. Offer as tight a deadline as you can for every project, and if you can deliver early, deliver early. Once you have your reputation and your reviews, then you can tone it back to the same level as any other job; you work on your work days, and you’re gone from the planet on your off days.

  • Follow Your Heart – But Follow the Money First

I’ll let you in on a little secret. I hate web copy. Detest it. A client can have the coolest website idea ever, but having to don my promotional hat and describe their services to a target audience is tedious and unfulfilling as all get out. What I enjoy is blog writing, where I get to explore a concept and tell it (sometimes) in my own voice. I love product descriptions even, where I get to sharpen my description skills to be later used in fiction. But guess what? Web copy writing pays well, because it is difficult and it’s in huge demand.

Here’s a quick insider look at the market: Today, every style of business in existence needs a website. That means web designers are the key holders in a world full of locked doors. They’re making a killing, but every website needs CONTENT. They’re cranking out 15 websites a month but they’re just blank pages without some writing to make them REAL. That’s where my industry comes in, the Tonto to their Lone Ranger, to make their home pages, their about pages, their service pages, etc. so their website is a real website. So long as online business booms, web designers are Sauron and copy writers are the one ring to rule them all.

That’s where the money is. So even if I really hate web copy, I’m good at it. That’s what pays the rent, grows my business, and keeps my employees’ checks signed – giving me the financial security I need to then ALSO do things I like. Ghost writing, book editing, blog writing, working on my own stuff.

If you want to make it in freelancing, you need money for bills. But you also need money to prove to your freelancing site that you’re worth promoting. Be willing to do jobs you’re not crazy about, so you can grow to the point of having enough income to afford doing what you really love.

  • Embrace the Uncertainty

One of the hardest things about freelancing is the irregularity. One month, you’re swimming in cash. The next, you scrape by. At the beginning of the month, you only have one project; at the end, you have 10. I’ve been at this for years, and I still have a mini panic during summer when I’m sure this is the year that my career finally ends. But it never has.

The upside to this uncertainty is you’re never sure when great things are going to happen. The security of a 9-to-5 lets you know exactly how much you will make, but robs you of the chance for those surprise miracles where a massive client falls in your lap and pays your rent for four months within two weeks. 

Take faith that a slow month is giving you a chance to rest up for when that tsunami of work comes in. Having a new client every week is giving you a chance to have fun before you have one client for an entire year (which can get boring at times). Freelancing can be a science, but you still need a little faith. It keeps you on your toes, it gives you unexpected bonuses none of your 9-to-5 friends can count on, and it gives you freedom.

Breaking into freelancing is slow going at first, but so long as you’re good at what you do, you will break in. There’s seriously never been a better time in living memory for it.

Hope this was helpful!

anonymous asked:

Since Ive been purposely keeping myself as far as possible from this for a few years: whats the whole deal with gamergate and antigamergate besides people making fools of themselves, I honestly still dont really know

To try and put it simply, Gamergate was essentially a consumer revolt against games journalism on the grounds that:

  • most of the games “journalists” had no idea how ethics work, or how journalism works for that matter since most lack a journalism degree
  • they were in bed (sometimes literally) with each other and particular indie devs, leading to rampant collusion, shilling, and dishonest reviews
  • a lot of them don’t know how games work either, so they fail on both counts (IGN’s infamous God Hand review, dropping NieR because they can’t figure out a fucking fishing minigame, etc)

The event that sparked the movement in full, assuming I’m remembering correctly, was the release of Zoe Quinn’s Depression Quest. It got heaps of praise and rave reviews, despite being about on the tier of a fucking visual novel. People noticed that some of the reviewers praising the game had personal ties to Quinn, and then Quinn’s ex boyfriend dropped the bombshell that she had been sleeping around with other people, namely those reviewers (hence the “Five Guys” jokes).

People were understandably mad (giving a good review to your fuckbuddy’s game without disclosing that you’re buddies looks pretty bad) and there was no real way to defend their actions, so instead they deflected the criticism by claiming it was actually about misogyny on account of Quinn being a woman. From there the battle lines were drawn, and the rest is history.

Gamegate kept digging, discovered ludicrous levels of collusion they hadn’t even dreamed of (the GameJournosPro list, etc), the most vocal virtue signalers on the anti side turned out to be huge assholes themselves (sexual assault charges, history of harassment campaigns and raids, fucking CHILD PORNOGRAPHY, etc), websites actually published and updated ethics statements, people got fired, websites shut down, and for the most part Gamergate accomplished what they set out to do and ceased to exist as a dedicated movement a year or so ago.

Now the only remaining dregs are either antis who keep bringing up the Gamergate boogeyman to try and stay relevant in the public eye, big name antis who turn out after the fact to have been horrible monsters that were desperately trying to hide it (like the recent “Dragon’s Crown’s Sorceress is a lolicon fantasy” dude who turned out to have loads of ACTUAL CHILD PORN on his computer) and serve as pretty much a “Where Are They Now?” postmortem for the movement, and people who still try to champion the cause, either in hopes of actively exposing the remaining “Where Are They Now?” scumbags or because they also desperately want to remain relevant.

Please.

Please review indie author’s books.

Just a sentence is fine.

You don’t need a big and detailed critique.

Reviews drastically raise a book’s visibility on amazon.

They directly influence sales. Every review. I’m not kidding. 

It can take three, four, even five good reviews to compensate for the losses caused by just one bad review. 

Indie authors are less likely to be picked up. Reviews are recommendations that attract potential readers. 

Reviews can motivate authors, who often make little, or sometimes even no profit from what we do.

Every review helps. 

It only takes a few minutes, but it goes a long way. 

Please, on behalf of all indie authors, I’m asking you: review our books.

Please.

(ao3 | tumblr). Feel free to shower with praise at AO3! Ask box.

Well, @pinkrabbitpro​ has done it again. Alex, Lucy AND Cat? We’re truly getting spoiled. Previously on Supergirl Virtual Season… Cat had some demands to make of the DEO. Alex and Lucy took some convincing.

Tonight’s update! Act 3 begins…

Cat watched J’onn fuss with something on his tablet. It was nice to be in the fresh air again, even if she’d resisted the trip to this large balcony at first. With the view and the layout, it wasn’t so different from her own at CatCo. Her third day at the DEO was proving more challenging now that she felt fit to do more than be prodded for tests and sleep off her ordeal, tapping right back into her panic from being locked up.

“So how was your suite at Hotel Cadmus?” Cat asked. “If you got an ocean view, then I’m taking back my five star review on TripAdvisor.”

“It was noisy,” J’onn grumbled, setting the tablet down. The two agents Cat had insisted on – just in case – stood guard just inside the glass doors. Despite still being technically off-duty, J’onn wore his regulation black shirt and cargo pants. The only difference from the active agents was his lack of weaponry. “Ms. Grant–”

“It’s Cat. Once you share a kidnapper, there’s no need for formality. Even if I didn’t know you were there. Though I do remember you, from the trouble with Leslie and that Myriad mess. Agent Mulder, wasn’t it?” Even though Kara had since properly introduced them, Cat couldn’t resist the tease.

He frowned at the deliberate misnaming. “You pay more attention than people give you credit for, don’t you? Now about my powers, the ones you’ve requested I use on you.”

Read it on AO3 now.

Dunkirk Review

 I’m  going to put all of this under a cut just cause I know people are picky and some don’t really want to read much about it and I don’t really know what counts as a spoiler. (I’m not going to intentionally post any spoilers so don’t worry.) This is just like, my overall feelings on the film.

So if you don’t wanna know how I feel, just keep on scrollin’ friends.  Otherwise, read on!

Keep reading

anonymous asked:

How would Itachi, Madara, Shisui react to the real world? Can you do a headcanon or scenario?

I hope this is kind of what you meant? These are more like Modern/AU headcanons. SFW.

Originally posted by uww

Itachi

  • Itachi would love having a cell phone so he could message his s/o or family wherever he is. He’d pick up on the technology quite quick but he wouldn’t have an amazing smartphone, just a simple small flip phone that texts and calls. 
  • Would definitely text you in full sentences. No text speak!
  • Don’t bother showing Itachi how to use a computer, he won’t be interested.
  • Unless you tell him about online chess. Maybe that could convince him to use the PC.
  • I can imagine Itachi’s s/o setting him up a Facebook account but he would never bother logging into it himself. Definitely no other social media.
  • I think Itachi would be a really good driver, passing his test on his first go after only a few lessons. He picks up quickly on the way things work and he’d claim the only reason he has a car is to get you around safely. 
  • Itachi would become addicted to Netflix. He can’t stop binge watching TV shows and you’d often catch him watching romantic movies.
  • Theme parks wouldn’t really be Itachi’s thing, but he would definitely try the claw machines to try and win you a prize. He’d be really good at them too, his patience is key.
  • Taking Itachi clothes shopping would be an experience. Would not be a fan of trainers. And he wouldn’t understand why would anyone want to wear Hawaiian shirts? Why do they exist?

Originally posted by veenia

Madara

  • You’d have to spend the longest time trying to show Madara how to use a cell phone. Expect lots of butt dials from him as he forgets to lock his phone. Also open his camera roll and see loads of awkward selfies he doesn’t realise he’s taken.
  • Once he gets the hang of technology he’d move on to the laptop. The kind of guy that would have 20 tabs open on the internet browser.
  • Would probably get a weird power kick out of the Amazon Echo/Siri etc. Setting it to call him by name.
  • Would react well to “real world” jobs. Madara would probably pick a job in law. Suit and tie. He’s really good at planning ahead and he loves winning cases, regardless of whether his client is innocent or not. Would claim its the easiest job ever.
  • Madara would also drive a posh sports car, being able to afford it thanks to his great job.
  • Traffic? What’s that. Madara wouldn’t give a shit if cars were in the road he would expect them to stop for him, giving you mini-heart attacks as your eyes clenched shut afraid he’d be hit.
  • Would hate modern clothes. Opting to wear his ninja attire, causing people in public to stare or ask who he was cosplaying as. “Cosplay?”
  • Madara would be quite content staying in and watching TV. Horror movies or serial killer documentaries being his preferred choice. 
  • Would order take out a lot. Why cook when someone can make it for you.
  • Madara’s mind would be blown at the idea of online shopping. Buying weird gadgets and gizmo’s he’s never even heard of before but they have five star reviews on Amazon.

Originally posted by unfamiliarworld

Shisui

  • Shisui would use his phone to take pictures of everything. Everything. He’d post them all over snapchat and Instagram. Then be the kind of guy that would also send you them via message just in case you missed them.
  • He’d definitely end up with more followers than you, multiple hashtags!
  • Would send you a lot of memes. “Hey Y/N, this is us ________”
  • Really into technology. He’d have a phone, laptop, tablet, smart watch. He’d be great at multi-tasking. Social media, netflix and texting all at once.
  • Would definitely be into porn. “It’s like Icha Icha.. but real?”
  • Shisui would be really into music. Rock music especially, he’d buy tickets for shows and demand you join him. 
  • Shisui would love learning to drive, getting excited over what sort of car and what colour he’d get before even passing. “Why do I have to take a test? Doesn’t one peddle mean go and one mean stop?”
  • Would buy the weirdest shit on ebay.
  • His wardrobe would be huge, opting for jeans, shirts and trainers in multiple colours and styles. One of his favourite aspects of the “real world”
  • Theme parks - Shisui would be a real thrill seeker. Going on the biggest rollercoasters multiple times. He’d also probably buy the photographs at the end if he thought you looked cute in them. 
Mr. Jealousy

For an Anon who requested a jealous DiNozzo! Hope this was jealous enough! 

“Here I brought your coffee. You left it in my car.” You looked up the paperwork you were reviewing to give McGee a smile.

“You didn’t have to go back and get it, there’s coffee in the kitchen.” But even as you were saying that you were lifting the cup to your mouth, taking a long sip.

“Yeah but it’s not nearly as strong as what you drink, and we all know you’re an absolute bear in the morning without the proper levels of caffeine.” He teased you, leaning on the side of your desk. You laughed and agreed before asking him about a show that both of you watched, asking if he’d seen this week’s episode.

Out of the corner of your eye you could vaguely see Tony sulking, handing his papers a little harder than he usually would, and making a lot of noise in doing so. You raised an eyebrow at McGee but continued to talk, ignoring the mild temper tantrum going on beside you.

“I always have it set to record, just incase we get called away and I miss it.” Tim explained, taking a sip of his own coffee.

“Better than what I do. My TV is so old it doesn’t record anything anymore, so I may or may not find a way to download it off the internet.” You laughed and Tim shook his head.

“That’s why your computer always has viruses, stop doing that. Just come over and watch it- that way we can throw our theories out right away and-”

“Can you two shut up and go do some work!” Tony snapped, causing both of you to look over surprised.

“What?” You asked, both eyebrows raising.

“I want to get this paperwork done, so I can leave. And you two keep running your mouths! (Y/L/N) Try getting some work done, McGeek Abby wanted you to go down and help her with something. Talk about your shows on your own time.” You were stunned. After Tony’s little outburst he turned back to his desk, ducking his head and staring at the paper he’d been “reviewing” for the past five minutes. Tony was usually the last person in this building to get on people for not doing their work.

McGee looked like he wanted to argue back but you shook your head and motioned towards the elevators, whispering “I got it.”

You waited for McGee to leave for Abby’s before getting up and walking over to Tony’s desk, sitting on your usual corner. You sat for a moment, watching him scribbling angrily, refusing to look at you.

“You going to tell me what crawled up your ass and died?” You asked eventually, grabbing the pen from his hand before he went all the way through the paper and had to start over.

“I don’t know, (Y/L/N). Why don’t you go ask your boyfriend McGeek?” Tony bit, grabbing for the pen. You laughed, holding it away from him.

“My boyfriend?” You asked, reaching a hand out and playfully feeling Tony’s forehead, “Do you have a fever or something?” He swatted your hand away glaring and it clicked, “Oh…” You nodded smirking.

“Oh…. what?” Tony asked.

“You’re jealous.”

“Me?” He snorted, “Jealous of  McGeek?”

“Jealous I was over there talking to Tim about our “shows” instead of being over here.” You grinned. Tony glared at you.

“He drove you to work.”

“My car is in the shop, Tony, what did you want me to do? Walk?” You laughed, grinning at this jealous version of Tony. Tony was a protective person, and you’d seen him make a spectacle before when someone had insulted your team, but this jealous was all for you, because you let McGee drive you to work and talked about shows.

“You could have called me.”

“Tim lives about fifteen minutes closer to me.” You reminded him placing your hand over his and squeezing. “Do you want to add half and hour to your morning commute to come get me tomorrow?” He gave you a little huff before nodding.

“I don’t mind.” You laughed loudly and leaned down, giving his cheek a sweet kiss.

“You’ve got nothing to worry about with Tim.” You promised, giving the hand another squeeze. Tony smirked, his jealousy turning back into his normal arrogance.

“Of course I don’t. However, my TV does record, and I’d much rather you come watch your ridiculous shows at my house. Okay?” Rolling your eyes you nodded and hopped off his desk, intending on actually starting your work now.

“It’s a date, Mr. Jealousy.”

REGARDING PRINT SALE (IMPORTANT PLEASE READ)

 If anyone’s print arrives damaged, PLEASE inform us on Etsy. We will send you more prints for free!  We apologize if anything arrives damaged, we will send them again with more secure shipping, We want to be able to be good with customer service. 

Also please understand that if a print rrives damaged, please understand that it is a huge possibility that it is the shipping services, but we will compensate if the shipping service has damaged the package on the way to your house. It is no extra cost to get new prints if yours have arrived damaged, we will send them for free. 

We want to do the best we can for everyone, and please leave a good review if possible. I promise that a we are doing our best and we wish to make every single person who ordered a print happy. Thank you. your five star review means the world to us, and we will do everything we can to fix any damage issue we are faced with to make you guys happy. Thank you! 

Episode 1: The Adventure Begins!

Welcome to Spagoots: Realms! This is the beginning of our story as it follows out four heroes Thorney the chill elven fighter, Light Boy the mysterious halfling cleric, Altaevo the fluffy dragonborn wizard, and Vinca the ruthless dragonborn rogue. Today, the four take a mysterious mission, help out someone in need, see some strange magic and make interesting purchases.

We’re live on Soundcloud, which means if you follow us on ITunes or any other podcasting app, then you can listen to us right now (be sure you leave us a five star review if you’re on iTunes)!!!

The Youtube version is coming soon!! Be sure to spread the word using the tag #SpagootsRealms if you’re on Twitter or tagging spagoots realms in tumblr posts! We’re super excited to launch this series officially, and we hope you all enjoy it as much as we do!

-Ryan

Made with SoundCloud
That Wasn’t A Kiss (Nessian NSFW Fic)

Hello! Sorry I’ve been gone for awhile :/ Lots of work to finish and little time to write. But, because of that, here’s a 2K Nessian Fic based on this prompt:

I hope you guys like it! I might open drabble requests soon.

Characters used are not mine. All copyright of Sarah J. Maas.

Enjoy!


Nesta hated, hated, studying for tests.

Especially now that she’s in her junior year of university. It’s been almost five hours since she started this morning at exactly ten A.M. She had woken up groggy and disoriented with Cassian’s alarm blaring out a nasty tune she had grown to despise.

She thought the worst part of it all wasn’t that she was exhausted, it was the fact that Cassian had to leave their dorm so early in the morning with only a simple kiss and quick ‘I love you. He had chosen to participate in early morning classes on purpose for a reason that Nesta could never understand. Thankfully, Nesta’s classes were cancelled today - the professor falling ill or something of the sort. She didn’t bother reading the whole email, after all the subject was explanation enough: No Class on Wednesday. Yet, she didn’t have time to spare for herself. She had an upcoming calculus test this Friday on seven units that were taught so far this semester. So that means Nesta needed to delve into all seven units, practicing questions over and over again until she finally memorised the concept.

I’m alright with math but this is a little too much for me sometimes.

Nesta shook her head, willing herself to concentrate. She had to pass this. Her grades had been border lining between a B and an A all year long and she hated the sight of it.

Concentrate, Nesta. Concentrate.

The pages of the textbook glared at her, the equations on her notebook set beside it burning my eyes. Within a span of a week, she had managed to review five units already, now on her sixth and most dreadful one. All the units taught to her in calculus was reasonably understandable. But this one unit, this particular unit, was just so boring and complicated compared to the rest. Nesta didn’t know what about it made it so bad to study, she just knew.

“If the integration of-“

“Oh, Mother.” Nesta groaned, slamming her head down against her wooden desk softly. She hated this with a burning passion. All she wanted was to bury herself back in the sheets of her bed. Preferably with Cassian for a week or so.

Cassian.

“Where is he?” whispering to herself, Nesta rubbed her face with the palms of her hands.

Concentrate. No more procrastinating.

Nesta faced the next question once more, working on it step by step. She knew that if she just took it one question at a time she could make it through this and, maybe, even finish early.

Her mind quickly diverted to only math. After an hour, question by question passed by quicker and-

“Nesta!”

A loud bang resonated the room when Cassian’s backpack hit the wooden floor of their dorm. Unfazed, Nesta continued to study - her eyes darting from one side of the textbook to the other as she read her question and wrote the equation.

“Bad day?” She referred to her boyfriend slamming the door.

Vaguely from her mathematical stupor, she heard Cassian’s shoes hit the floor as he pulled them off his feet. The sound of his soles padding across the wooden flooring of their dorm resonated as it came closer and-

“I didn’t get to kiss you all day!” Cassian’s voice was a few steps behind her now, his voice sounding like he was a little boy not given his candy.

Nesta paused her line of through for the equation she was working on, looking up at Cassian with a raised brow.

“You kissed me before you left.”

Cassian sighed exasperatedly, as if Nesta didn’t understand what he was saying. Nesta watched as he walked closer to her, step by step, before he brushed her books away from the desktop as if they were dust and picking her up. She let out a small gasp as Cassian settled her onto the desk, himself between her legs as he leaned close to her ear.

“That was a peck, sweetheart. I didn’t get to do this.”

Before she could let out another breathe, Cassian’s lips were against hers. His hands that were curved around her hips slid upwards to rest around her waist, underneath her shirt. His thumbs rubbed the skin right underneath her bra softly in slow circles that made Nesta burn with need. Their bodies were pressed against one another, Nesta’s hands quickly finding purchase of Cassian’s hair as she tugged him closer.

“Why couldn’t you kiss me like this in the morning?” Nesta breathed out, their lips tingling and touching.

“I’ll do that from now on.” He replied quickly before pressing his lips to her’s once more. He broke apart for a short while only to pull her shirt, well, more like his shirt that she now took the liberty to own, over her head and tossing it behind him to some corner of the room. His lips found purchase of her neck, tilting her head slightly sideways so he could suck the soft skin there.

Nesta’s moans were like the sounds of angels to him as she wrapped her arms once more around his neck and pressed her semi-bare body against his clothed one. She was only in a pair of her black boy shorts and sports bra but Cassian found her delectable anyways. She could show up in a trash bag and he would still think she’s beautiful.

Fuck. I’m so in love.

You wouldn’t want it any other way, though - his mind seemed to reply.

“I want this off.” Nesta breathed out, tugging at the waist band of Cassian’s sweatpants. Her voice brought him out of his thoughts as he obeyed her commands. He pulled off his shirt sloppily off his body before tugging his grey sweatpants down his legs. They went along in a pile with Nesta’s shirt somewhere in the room.

Nesta couldn’t help but stare at Cassian’s body. To say it simply, he looked good. She could never get over how fit he was, considering he took kickboxing classes with his brothers (or best friends, whichever a person prefers to call their friendship).

“Sweetheart,” Cassian breathed out, pressing himself against her body once more in only his boxers, “Stop staring. Or else this’ll end faster than we want it.”

Nesta pouted for once, pouted, before deciding to leave small kisses against her boyfriend’s neck instead as an alternative.

“Nesta.” Cassian groaned out, tilting his head as her kisses moved down to his chest. His hands slither around her delicate waist instead, squeezing the soft skin there as his lips parted from hers against his skin.

“Don’t do that.” Nesta replied, albeit weakly as she actually enjoyed it. She faintly heard Cassian chuckle before he pushed her away slightly so he could attach his lips to hers once more.

“We can play later,” Cassian mumbled between kisses, “I’ve just missed you so much. Play later. Please.”

“You say me this morning, Cass.”

“Still.” In one swift movement, Cassian tugged off Nesta’s sports bra. His lips moved immediately to suck one of her nipples softly, his hand teasing her other breast.

“Cassian. Cassian,” Nesta kept repeating, “I-,” she had to pause from good his lips felt, from how long it has been since they had the time to do this, “I thought you said play later.”

Cassian groaned, taking his lips of her breast and leaning his forehead against her collarbone. His eyes were closed and his face strained, as if he was holding himself back.

“You look so good, Nesta. So good, baby.”

Nesta couldn’t help the smile that slithered onto her face. Tugging Cassian by his long hair, she pulled his head up until he faced her.

“Stop teasing me and just get on with it. It’s been too long since I’ve had you for myself.”

It didn’t take long for Cassian’s shit eating grin to appear on his face before he pressed his lips to hers once more. Their lips moved together as one, Cassian’s tongue slipping into Nesta’s mouth without her knowing.

With quick hands, Nesta tugged off Cassian’s boxers. His length was already hard and heavy with need.

“You see what you do to me, Nesta.” He whispered against her lips as he rubbed himself against her covered heat.

Nesta could only moan as she leaned back against the wall. Only then did she realize she was still on her desk. Frankly, she didn’t care at the moment.

It didn’t take long for Cassian to tug off, or more like rip off, her boy shorts. She didn’t bother looking at the direction it was thrown at as Cassian’s fingers started rubbing her soaking heat.

“Cassian,” Nesta breathed out, her eyes falling shut from his fingers playing with her, “Cass. Please.”

“Anything you want,” he groaned out. She watched as Cassian quickly opened a drawer and pulling out a condom, putting it onto his length quickly and surely. Without wasting a moment, Nesta felt Cassian push himself inside her as her moans grew louder from the pleasure.

“We need to do this more often, Cass.”

She heard him chuckle as he buried himself inside her entirely, “I’m not denying anything.”

Before she could reply, Cassian had pulled out from her before pushing back inside. Nesta gasped quietly, spreading her legs wider for him. He moved back and forth, their moans filling the room as Nesta gripped onto the edge of the desk tightly. The sound of wood hitting against the wall, skin slapping against each other and moans resonated everywhere. They were sure their dorm neighbours could here - but they didn’t care.

“Faster. Faster.” Nesta gasped out as Cassian shifted her legs so it rested atop his shoulders. The moment he moved her legs, Nesta could feel him move deeper inside her as he hit all the right spots.

“Cassian,” Nesta moaned out, her grip on the edge of the desk tighter than ever as he moved faster, harder-

“Sweetheart. If you keep doing that I’m going to come right now.”

“What’s stopping you?”

Nesta felt his lips press itself against her ankle before kissing down her leg as he continued to move in and out of her. She clenched her sex around him as she tried to hold herself back, only because she wanted the pleasure to last longer.

“Don’t hold back, baby.” Cassian mumbled against her skin, leaning down to suck on her nipple now, “I’m going to come too.”

With his lips on her skin, she hit her high as the pleasure of his tongue against her nipple was unbearable.

“Cassian. Cassian. Cassian.” His name was the only thing leaving her lips as she came, her sex clenching his length and her her head tossed back. Her fingers were gripping the edge of the desk so tightly, she was sure there would be marks.

Cassian followed right after, his groan vibrating her body as his lips were still pressed against her skin.

They both collapsed onto the desk, their bodies slicked with sweat and their breathes coming out in pants. Silently, Cassian discarded the used condom before picking Nesta up and settling her onto her side of the bed before he settled into his. With Nesta on her back, Cassian leaned over and buried his face against her left breast and leaving a soft kiss. He slung his left leg over her torso before wrapping his arms around her and pulling her closer. Nesta smiled, bringing one of her hands up and stroking his hair while the other rested on his arm that was resting across her stomach.

“If you didn’t take morning classes, we could do this so much more often.”

Cassian laughed quietly, the sound vibrating through her whole body.

“You’re just saying that cause you don’t like waking up alone.”

“That’s true.” she whispered with a smile, kissing his forehead softly.

“I changed my classes, by the way.”

Nesta’s stroking hand paused as she looked down to see him with a smile on his face and his eyes closed.

“What?”

“Frankly, I don’t like waking up early and leaving you with only a small kiss. I want to give you a long kiss in the morning,” he paused, “and maybe more.”

Nesta laughed, her hand going back to brush through his hair.

“It was about time.”

Cassian laughed once more, opening his eyes and leaning up to give his girlfriend a sweet kiss.

“Love you, baby.”

Nesta grinned, waiting for him to settle back to his previous position on her. She kissed his forehead once more before burying her face in his hair.

“Love you too.”

anonymous asked:

Why are you re-writing all your Kurtbastian stuff for Klaine? That seems kind of cheap to me xD

Hey, nonnie :) I’m sorry that you think so, but you’re overlooking a few things. I am not re-writing ALL of my stories. I am re-writing a select few, and for a couple of reasons. One, they are all AU (supernatural AU’s mostly), and ones that really didn’t get much in the way of love. I have discovered that, in the Kurtbastian fandom, you guys only want to read one thing - ACITW or anything remotely close. If we have Kurt, Seb, and Blaine in high school, with Kurt picking Seb over Blaine after a slow burn, you guys read it, regardless of if the grammar sucks or not. Everything else you pretty much thumb your nose at. The Klaine fandom, however, eats up AUs. I wish I’d known that earlier. I may not have devoted so much time to fics for a fandom that wouldn’t read them. (Mind you, this doesn’t apply to everyone. Some of my Kurtbastian readers are super lovely, read everything, and send me tons of love. But that’s really about seven people, tbh). Also, I’m not re-writing fics that were so thoroughly Kurtbastian that it’s OOC or heartbreaking to read them as Klaine. These were sort of ambiguous. Plus, the originals aren’t coming down. If you really liked my Zombie AU written for Kurtbastian, it’s still there. Go read it. And comment on it. And reblog it. Because if you want to call me cheap for re-writing them, then you should do all those things to show me how much you value them. Plus, I had ideas that I know some of my Klaine readers would love, but just can’t stomach reading them as Kurtbastian. And guess what? I want my fics read. I have over 500. It’s sad to put that much work into a fandom for the same amount of notes and reads as some more popular fandom writers get for their eight big fics. I mean, just because I re-write them for Klaine, that doesn’t mean people are going to flock to them. There’s one writer in fandom now who can sneeze in a post and it gets 300 notes in an hour. I spent over six months writing my last Dalton Boy chapter, and it got five reviews. So don’t you dare try and tell me what I can and can’t do, or call me cheap (WTF!). I’ll pull everything down if I want and re-write it all for Voltron. Don’t test me xD

McElroy Timeline
  • 2007-2015: Beginnings. In 2007, 3 brothers begin a now iconic podcast by the name of My Brother, My Brother, and Me. It takes them nearly 10 years to solidify their comedic identity as goofy, lovable, kind, and nerdy. They slowly begin building a small but dedicated fan base.
  • 2016: Conquest. The brothers come into their own and expand into many other mediums, generally met with critical acclaim. The McElroys begin to garner respect and a modest success, being able to turn podcasting into their career rather than a side gig.
  • 2017: Golden Era. With the release of their TV show, the McElroy's are launched into the public eye, exponentially increasing their popularity and the quality of their content, but also exposing them to more scrutiny. Certain tumblr users decide they're too cool for the Mcelroys now.
  • July 2018: The Crash. The second season of MBMBAM is met with five star reviews and the brothers get a spread in Entertainment Weekly - however, it wasn't meant to last. Halfway through summer break, high schoolers and college students grow restless with the swathes of free time on their hand and begin to go through the MBMBAM podcast backlog, and this is where the callout posts begin. Though it is not considered problematic to like them, there is a stigma attached and the McElroys quickly fall out of favor with large parts of the internet community.
  • 2022: Renaissance. MBMBAM is put on Netflix and the brothers twitter followers multiply after Shiloh Jolie-Pitt, now 16 and the next 'it' model, tweets about it. The brothers gain a cult following.
  • 2023: The Dark Ages. MBMBAM takes an extended break for the first time in it's 16 year history after Griffin is incarcerated in a top-secret government detention camp for his ties to a global communist conspiracy, infiltrating the highest levels of government. The FBI classified any and all information relating to the youngest McElroy, so Justin and Travis tell fans that Griffin and Rachel are taking a leave of absence to care for their third child, Leon.
  • 2025: Fugitive. Griffin escapes the detention camp and MBMBAM becomes a pirate radio station, secretly broadcasting internationally, telling the people what their governments are too afraid to. The station is used to spread propaganda, organize marches, rallies, and protests, and help comrades in need. MBMBAMinos are classified as a terrorist organization by 14 nations.
  • 2027: Revolution. After a year spent establishing a new, equitable government after an coup d'etat, President McElroy successfully liberated the proletariat and redistributed the world's wealth. There is no more hunger. There is no more homelessness. Shoplifting is now legal.
Nine Etsy Jewellery Stores You Need to See

Etsy is one of my favourite websites for finding unique items, especially jewellery. Over the last few weeks I have collected my favourite shops to share with you. All the prices are in Australian Dollars, so remember to convert if you’re from overseas. Continue reading to see the favourite stores!

LuvMinimal is one of my absolute favourite Etsy stores. Specialising in minimalist, dainty jewellery, there is so much I could buy. My sister came across this store in early 2015 and we’ve ordered lots of different pieces since. I purchased my formal jewellery which you can see buy clicking each of the words - necklace, earrings, rings. Each of the pieces were beautifully packages and look beautiful so I would definitely recommend!

MinimalGV is another delicate jewellery store which offers worldwide shipping. Offering a mix of minimalist jewellery and opal pieces, prices start from around $10 and go up to $100. My favourite items include this choker and these arrow themed ear climbers!

Another one of my favourite jewellers in London based, Wild Fawn Jewellery. These items are all handmade from eco friendly & ethical sterling silver and gold! Wild Fawn offers all my favourite minimalist jewellery including ear cuffs, and hammered geometric inspired earrings. Shipping is available within the UK, Europe, North America, and the Oceania region. You can follow Wild Fawn on Instagram here!

Seeflower is another Etsy store which creates handmade gold and silver jewellery. With numerous funky designs including astrology necklaces, ear jackets and fox bracelets there is something for everyone! These pieces could make super cute and unique gifts for friends.

Specialising in edgy, minimalist jewellery AIRlab is another store which you need to see. Based in Sweden, these handmade pieces are great for those who like to have stand out jewellery. AIRlab’s jewellery averages around $25 and offers worldwide shipping. These geometric line earrings are one of my favourites!

Another one of my favourites is GLDN Jewellery which specialises in all kinds of necklaces. Designs include V necklaces, Y necklaces and geometric necklaces. My favourite piece is the Friendship Necklaces, which comes in two, three and four pieces. Each piece comes with individual box which makes it a great gift for a group of friends! 

Happylittledainty is a Singapore based Etsy shop which makes fun and quaint jewellery. The store offers worldwide shipping for only $3.50 for the first item and $0.50 for subsequent items! Some of my favourite pieces include these Ball Ear Jacket Earrings and these Snowflake Earrings for $19.43.

Another store that I love on Etsy is Shazoey. Based in Sydney, shipping can be within 2 days which is fantastic! Whilst this store is relatively expensive it seems to be worth it, as the reviews rate Shazoey five stars! Giftcards are avaliable at $25, $50, $75 and $100 which are fantastic for presents for jewellery obsessed friends and family!

The final store on my list is RabbitsFantasyWorld, which is based in the Netherlands. This store is a mix of quirky, unique and minimalist jewellery. A few of my favourite pieces include these super cute and Christmas themed reindeer earrings (I would seriously buy these for the holidays!) and these eye stud earrings. In my opinion the store is really well priced, especially as pieces are suitable for sensitive ears. RabbitsFantasyWorld also offers worldwide shipping which is great for us living in Australia.

I hope you’ve found this post helpful. What is your favourite piece of jewellery or store? If you have enjoyed this post, please like and reblog! x

Let’s get Mikey. He won’t eat it. He hates EVERYTHING.

Remember that story where Target determined a teen girl was pregnant before her father found out? Target’s analysis of customers’ purchases led to a formula that could predict fairly accurately which shoppers were pregnant. The retailer then sent pregnancy related coupons to those shoppers. One dad got upset with Target sending those coupons. Then he learned his daughter was indeed pregnant.

I wonder what a detailed analysis of Amazon product reviews would reveal about people. Perhaps it could help mental health professionals determine which people might need a little “help.”

Earlier I was looking at some Amazon reviews. Any negative review with several misspelled words, multiple exclamation marks or words in all caps is generally worthless. I automatically ignore any that state “DO NOT BUY THIS ITEM.” Tell me what’s wrong but I will make up my own mind. 

Today I seemed to see more than the usual number dumb negative reviews. In some cases a reviewer clearly didn’t understand how to use a product. Imagine someone complaining that a Toyota Prius broke down after towing a 10,000 pound Airstream camper through the Rocky Mountains. BAD PRIUS! DO NOT BUY!! BREAKS WHILE GOING UP STEEP HILLS!!!!

After reading one particular scathing review I clicked to see the writer’s other reviews. There were a few four- or five-star reviews but a lot of one- and two-star bitches. Sadly for this prolific reviewer lots of stuff he or she orders is damaged up arrival, breaks within moments of using, or doesn’t work as advertised. After reading a series of hateful reviews of widely varied products I have to wonder if it’s not the products but the person who’s a bit faulty.

Story idea where mobsters open an Italian restaurant as a front for their illegal activities, but then the mobster assigned to managing the basics of the restaurant starts to fall in love with it.

He learns how to cook, to make his own sauces, to make fresh noodles. The other mobsters start to get annoyed that he’s spending so much time in the restaurant and not on his duties. They tell him to just open a can, dump it out, and heat it up. He, of course, refuses.

But then the trickle of random stragglers that eat in the restaurant booms. He’s getting rave reviews with five stars. The restaurant is soon known in the entire city and is packed at all hours.

Eventually, the mob gets annoyed that there’s too much traffic for their front and open a new one. Their mistake was keeping the name the same as the old one, because that mobster turned chef is more than happy to start a chain.