revert experiences

Breaking Point (1/2)

Part of the “Smaller Than He Seems” AU, in which Ford was accidentally de-aged into a kid during his multiverse adventures, while retaining all his memories. He appears about 12 at this point.

Last one shot here.


Rating: T (for some language)

Word count: ~4000

Summary: In which Stan drags Ford to the mall to buy some shoes. Ford dodges an awkward encounter with a local. Stan says something he regrets.

Ford sat in the shadows of his old sitting parlor, trapped deep in a labyrinth of thought. Two bare feet dangled over the edge of the couch. Thanks to his diminutive stature his legs couldn’t reach the floor, and it was making him feel ridiculous. A pity he’d never acknowledged what a blessing being taller than 4’9” was before he fell into this predicament. And what a dreadful, annoying predicament it was. He found it hard enough pushing himself to extremes beyond the portal as an adult, trapped in an unforgiving world where he often wouldn’t have food to eat for days and had to constantly remain vigilant of the agendas of those around him. But traversing this road in the guise of a child?

Sometimes he truly wondered how he was still alive.

He’d tried his best to move past the set back then. He’d tried his best to keep his morale up, his wits about him despite his clear disadvantage. He’d tried to ignore dwelling on the logical repercussions. However, the unspeakable reality was that— barring supernatural intervention— he was stuck like this forever, a man with decades of life experience reverted in form to an age no older than the great niece and nephew he’d met only yesterday. Ford fancied himself a master of denial towards this fate before his brother activated the portal and unexpectedly dragged him home. But now, everything and everyone around him just served to prove how wrong this all was, how wrong he felt in his own skin.

Thirty years.

He’d been gone for thirty damn years, long enough for Stanley’s hair to grey and the skin of his face to crease and sag with age. He was supposed to look like him. He was supposed to age alongside his brother, and now no one would ever think to guess they were twins.

His wrists faintly quivered as he lay his palms out flat on his lap. He stared at his hands intently until his eyes watered and he was forced to blink. The skin was too smooth, too young and unblemished. Long ago a small part of him marveled at how the adjusting of his biological clock erased the decades of wear and tear, but now he’d do anything to see his old healed over wounds and scars. Anything…if only to remind himself that those past fifty or so years were real. He wrapped the scarf he brought back with him through the portal— plum purple in color— tighter around his neck.

A knock on the door rapidly shook him away from this maelstrom of thoughts. Hastily, he shot to his feet, thoroughly embarrassed at the thought of someone seeing him dangle his legs on a too-deep couch.

“Come in,” he said, cursing internally at just how small his voice sounded.

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Share Your Ramadan Experience

Guys as-Salaamu Alaykum,

Lets start a section of “Share Your Ramadan Experience”

Please post something telling us about how Ramadan is going and your experience. This might be helpful for the reverts to adjust insha'Allah

Either tag me or let me know when you post it so I will repost it to all the reverts insha'Allah

anonymous asked:

I am an adult revert.. My parents are Republican and my mother who clearly said she'd rather I be an atheist than a Muslim in passing conversation. I'm afraid to fast (I like food, this is a known fact) in fear of being discovered. I'm afraid to do anything Islamic-oriented, but another Muslim has accused me of fearing my parents more than Allah. I don't know how to respond, because I fear Allah, but I love my parents too. I'm not leaving here for another week and a half from now. Advice???

Assalam Alaikom sister <3

I’m so sorry you’re going through so much, especially during the month of Ramadan. Please don’t beat yourself up too much, or let others make you feel inadequate, you’re doing amazing.

I’m not a revert and I don’t think I’m the best for this advice. I think you should contact @s-a-b-r and scroll through their blog.

However I will say this;

1. Don’t let other Muslims make you feel bad. No one, except Allah, knows what you’re facing and knows what is in your heart. It is not fair of them to judge your situation.

“If Allah knows [any] good in your hearts, He will give you [something] better than what was taken from you, and He will forgive you; and Allah is Forgiving and Merciful.” (8:70)

2. Don’t feel bad for wanting to keep your relationship with your parents in good terms. Islam stresses the importance of family and having good relationships with them - especially our parents. May Allah reward you more because of the struggles you’re going through

The Prophet (ﷺ) said, “Al-Wasil is not the one who recompenses the good done to him by his relatives, but Al-Wasil is the one who keeps good relations with those relatives who had severed the bond of kinship with him.” (Sahih Bukhari)

3. Ramadan is so much more than fasting. Although it is fardh - Allah knows what you’re going through. @s-a-b-r has a great post on hiding fasting from family members. ALSO - go easy on yourself. Once you’re away from your family and you start to begin fasting it will be a bit difficult. It takes practice, faith, and discipline. Keep in mind ‘born’ Muslims didn’t start off fasting all 30 days easily. Don’t beat yourself up if its not ‘perfect’

4. Find some things you can easily hide from your family and still be worshiping Allah

  • Read Quran on your phone
  • Pray tahajjud at night while they’re asleep
  • Make dhikr
  • Make dua


This probably wasn’t super helpful advice - I hope you can get in touch with reverts who have more experience with this.

May Allah ease your burdens, open your parent’s hearts to accept your decision, protect you, and use your struggles as a means of reward.

anonymous asked:

Hi, I've been thinking about converting to Islam for a while, but I was in a committed relationship with a woman and so that sort of scared me away from trying, now I'm in a relationship with a guy, but I am still pansexual. But now I sort of keep thinking "well I guess it will be easier now that I'm with a guy", but that thought really leaves a bitter taste in my mouth, do I have to deny who I am in order to convert?

I’ve been sitting on this question for a few days because it’s a lot of questions as one. I’m going to attempt to answer them to the best of my ability. Bismillahir rahman nir rahim.

I was going to write extensively about the relationship LGBT/Q Muslims have with Islam (note I said Islam, and not “Muslim mainstream scholars’ lectures”), instances of queer-affirmation in the Quran, about the history of homoerotic Muslim poetry, about the expansion of Islam and how it co-existed with indigenous social norms of diverse and fluid non-binary genders. But that’s a lot. If you want to talk to me about it, send a message, or send an email to and I don’t mind talking about it.

I hope you didn’t break up with your woman bc of conversation-related reasons, because that would be terrible. Also, I’m sorry you’re holding a lot of grief and angst over your identity.

No, you do not have to deny who you are to convert. You do not even have to play “love the sinner hate the sin” respectability politics, because ultimately, you and the forms of love in which you exist and seek are not haraam. Islam defs speaks out about abusive power politics in relationships (in general, not even just romantic/ erotic ones), but being pansexual is not pursuing an abusive power politic relationship. But on the same question I answered above: the mainstream Muslim ummah is vastly homophobic, yes, just as the rest of society is, and so if you want to exist in a mainstream Muslim community, there will be homophobia the way it exists literally everywhere else. So if by those standards you’re asking me “do I have to deny who I am”, I would respond: that depends. It depends on who or what you’re willing to fight, it depends on if you want to have a relationship with the larger Muslim ummah. I do not, but that’s a personal preference. I keep up relationships with queer-affirming cishet Muslims, and I hold space for other queer/LGBT Muslims, and with my family, because I consider them a priority and am thus willing to extend labour to helping them grow and recognize their biases too. But, I am privileged in not needing access to a larger Muslim community to stabilize my own faith. I also grew up in a Muslim household and thus have space to choose what I do and do not wish to engage with, and I know how to navigate/ reject the respectability politics. I don’t know if you have the capacity. 

[[If you want to connect with LGBT/Q Muslims, and tell me where you live, I either know folk in major (mostly US, but also otherwise) cities, or can ask around for you. Also, as far as conversion vis-a-vis sexuality/gender convos goes (bc I can’t have anything to say about convert/revert experiences): @mahdialynn, @navigatethestream, @qalbee and @malcontentafro are converts and “out” (at least on their blog, tho not all as “queer” like I am so be careful there), if you’re interested in talking to them some of them also do work specific to theology, though ofc I can’t promise they have capacity or time to respond bc I’m not the boss of them lol.]]

What I can tell you is this: as a woman-loving women/nonbinary femme, I know I exist most at peace, most tranquil, most connected with my Allah when loving women, over any relationship, romantic or otherwise, with a man. I have no guilt for this, because there is no room for shame or guilt when I know it is how I am supposed to be. When I know it is part of how my ihsan is meant to manifest. At the end of the day, I know this and am stable in my relationship with Allah, though it has definitely come after years of work. So all I can tell you is: your sexuality and Muslimness (should you choose to convert) will have everything to you with you working on your relationship to your Creator and very little to do with other Muslims. I don’t know if that it a help to you. But I hope so.

Leroy and Stitch was the first movie premiere of the character Angel or Experiment 624, who is an illegal genetic experiment created by Jumba Jookiba, and Stitch’s love interest. She is designed to revert rehabilitated people and experiments to evil with a siren song, though it can have the opposite effect if it is heard backwards. Also, experiments who were created after her, like Reuben, Stitch and Evile, are immune to her song. 

For most of my life I have adopted a sort of alter ego that people respond well to. I’m small and have a baby face so behaving naive and bubbly meets people’s expectations making them like me more. Since I’ve come to college I’ve been trying to break out of that and be more true to myself (more cynicism, allowing myself personal time, not constantly smiling or feigning interest) but I’ve noticed people distancing themselves. This last month I started an experiment of reverting back to this alter ego, and people are suddenly interested in me again. I know everyone says INTJs don’t care what others think of them but I need people to be interested in me. I don’t know which is worse, being ignored, or being fake.
—  Submitted by @megtherocket

Why is it that when Muslims meet a revert we automatically assume we have more knowledge about Islam than them? Maybe a better option in those situations is to say “if you have any questions let me know” rather than assuming that a revert, who spent so much of their time studying Islam, doesn’t know the basics.

anonymous asked:

I'm beginning to falter I'm having a very hard time with Islam. I'm no good at prayer and I'm very lonely. Do you have advice?

Salam Alaykum,

Shytaan will try to depress you and make you leave Islam. He will tell you that you are not praying, you are committing harams, your life is not a Muslim life, you parents or spouse is against Islam and if you leave Islam you will be happy etc etc etc




No matter what happens please never stop saying “La ilaha ilallah Muhammadur rasulullah” Even you dont feel Muslim, dont loose that. Hang in there. All you need is time…

Allah guided you to Islam! It was a gift from Him. Do you think Allah will leave you alone? Do you think He doesn’t know how you feel? THE ONE WHO BLESSED YOU WITH ISLAM WILL HELP YOU WITH YOUR PROBLEMS! Just be patient! Don’t let shaytaan make you doubt about Islam.

al-Qasas 85: Surely, He Who has entrusted you (O Messenger) with the the Qur'an will certainly bring you round to the fulfillment of the promise.

Allah (swt) knows what you are feeling and He knows your intention and He knows whats in your heart. Feed yourself positive thoughts. Wallahi if you knew how Allah took care of your affairs you would not worry. Its only a matter of time before things get better. Patience is bitter, its REALLY bitter actually. But the sweetness of its fruits will prevail and you will forget any bitterness that you have ever tasted.

Don’t let loneliness get you down and depress you . Depression can be very dangerous and bit by bit, day by day it can slowly grow before it overwhelms and then controls you. Be positive in every outlook of your life. If you feel your life isn’t panning out as you want it to be, be assure that you are exactly where Allah wants you to be. AND WHO IS A BETTER PLANNER FOR YOU LIFE THAN ALLAH? WHO?

Accepting Islam is a change in life style. At the beginning that change might stress you out but be assure Allah knows about your situation. Just hang in there insh'Allah 😊

There will come moments when Shaitaan will whisper to you that you made the wrong choice by becoming a Muslim. He will tell you that your life has become harder, your parents are giving you hard time, your friends are leaving you, Muslims are not helping you, ISIS killing innocent people, Islam is too difficult to practice etc etc etc…millions of other negative thought just to put you in depression and force you to leave Islam. Most of the reverts experience these attacks by Shytaan. It is the Shytaan that gives you those thought! Be aware of that.
Just know this: ALLAH IS WITH YOU. You are not alone. Allah has chosen you from out of billion and blessed you with iman and believe me He will NEVER leave you alone.
Just a little patience

I know you are either worried, overwhelmed, struggling in some way or questioning Allah or the decision you made, but listen, He (swt) LOVES YOU, and has a plan to bring you out of this stronger, brighter and better than you were before!

Choosing Islam was never a mistake. It was the best gift of Allah to you. Just be a little patient insh'Allah

Sometimes trying to “do the best” might keep you away from “doing good”
Allah doesn’t want us to be perfect!
Please do not rush. You cannot learn everything overnight. Islam is a way of life. Go slowly but surely. Please remember Being a bad Muslim is WAAAAAAY better than being a disbeliever!

Please send me DM and lets talk about your situation in detail insha'Allah

May Allah keep your heart on Islam

Just a thought

There will come moments when Shaitaan will whisper to you that you made the wrong choice by becoming a Muslim. He will tell you that your life has become harder, your parents are giving you hard time, your friends are leaving you, Muslims are not helping you, ISIS killing innocent people, Islam is too difficult to practice etc etc etc…millions of other negative thought just to put you in depression and force you to leave Islam. Most of the reverts experience these attacks by Shaitaan. It is the Shaitaan that gives you those thought! Be aware of that.

Just know this: ALLAH IS WITH YOU. You are not alone. Allah has chosen you from out of billion and blessed you with iman and believe me He will NEVER leave you alone.

Just a little patience