revealing-himself

“i wish harry was more open”

did you like… read another man or rolling stone or watch his behind the album or hell even listen to his album which he’s said to treat more like a memoir like…. he gave us massive glimpses into the world of who harry is and not Harry Styles™️ like it’s… all right there… he’s had so many open, candid, and honest moments since he went solo… sorry he doesn’t tweet 20 times a day and ducks and dives in quick 15 minute interviews like….. wtf

anonymous asked:

Do you ever read, or have you ever read any queer sf/fantasy novels. If so, do you recommend any?

I want to point out that this isn’t comprehensive, just a few that I personally happen to like and recommend:

I assume by this question you mean stories that explicitly deal with themes like gender and sexuality, as opposed to just stories that deal with other themes but have LGBT characters in them? Because if you mean the second, I can’t recommend enough the work of David Gerrold, who often has homosexual male characters in his novels in the 70s and 80s. If you only know of Gerrold as the writer of the Tribble episode of Star Trek, you need to read his fascinating scifi novels. “The Man Who Folded Himself” is a great novel about a man who time travels so much that he has essentially “folded himself,” and multiple different versions of himself exist simultaneously. At one point, he has an orgy with multiple different versions of himself, which…certainly is one way to deal with the issue of multiple versions of yourself existing (and a great way to characterize the hero as an incredible narcissist).  

Also, I can’t recommend enough Gerrold’s War Against the Chtorr series, which is maybe one of the most fascinating alien invasion novels ever as the invasion isn’t military, but ecological in nature…a hostile alien ecosystem takes over and replaces our own in places, breeding insanely and wiping out native species. The Chtorr themselves seem to be based on the sandworms of Arrakis from Dune, but we discover they are very different in that they are not entirely animals…though not entirely sentient, either. It makes sense if you read it. It also has characters who are homosexual men.

David Gerrold is one of these writers who spends all their time on the internet and is surprisingly accessible on social media. Word of warning, though, he’s become a bit of a cranky guy in his old age.

If you want a story that explicitly deals with themes of homosexuality, read Charles Beaumont’s “The Crooked Man” from 1955. Our hero lives in a world where homosexuality is the norm, encouraged because it solves overpopulation; heterosexuals are despised and have to go into hiding in seedy windowless clubs, where they are a regular target of moralizing sanctimonious demagogues and police raids, and worst of all, were sent to horrific torture chambers to be “cured.”

Damn Knudson! Damn the little man! Thanks to him, to the Senator, Jesse was now a criminal. 

Before, it wasn’t so bad–not this bad, anyway. You were laughed at and shunned and fired from your job, sometimes kids lobbed stones at you, but at least you weren’t hunted. Now–it was a crime. A sickness.

“Vice is on the upswing in our city. In the dark corners of every Unit perversion blossoms like an evil flower. Our children are exposed to its stink, and they wonder–our children wonder–why nothing is done to put a halt to this disgrace. We have ignored it long enough! The time has come for action, not mere words. The perverts who infest our land must be fleshed out, eliminated completely, as a threat not only to public morals but to society at large. These sick people must be cured and made normal.

“The disease that throws men and women, together in this dreadful abnormal relationship and leads to acts of retrogression–retrogression that will, unless it is stopped and stopped fast, push us inevitably back to the status of animals–this is to be considered as any other disease. It must be conquered as heart trouble, cancer, polio, schizophrenia, paranoia, all other diseases have been conquered…”

The Women’s Senator had taken Knudson’s lead and issued a similar pronunciamento and then the bill became law and the law was carried out.

Jesse sipped at the whiskey, remembering the Hunts. How the frenzied mobs had gone through the city at first, chanting, yelling, bearing placards with slogans: WIPE OUT THE HETEROS! KILL THE QUEERS! MAKE OUR CITY CLEAN AGAIN! And how they’d lost interest finally after the passion had worn down and the novelty had ended. But they had killed many and they had sent many more to the hospitals …

He remembered the nights of running and hiding, choked dry breath glued to his throat, heart rattling loose. He had been lucky. He didn’t look like a hetero. They said you could tell one just by watching him walk–Jesse walked correctly. He fooled them. He was lucky.

One of the most interesting things that scifi does is explore worlds where the shoe is “on the other foot,” one of the most powerful empathic tools. Ray Bradbury wrote a great story about race issues that was literally called “On the Other Foot.”

Charles Beaumont is one of the great overlooked geniuses of SF’s past. I’d say he was the single best writer of the Twilight Zone apart from Rod Serling himself, and I loved his scifi short story, “The Beautiful People,” which was adapted into one of the best episodes of the original Twilight Zone. He’s due for a rediscovery.

  • Lois McMaster Bujold did a similar story in the 1980s, Ethan of Athos. Despite the way the cover makes Dr. Ethan look hardboiled as hell, the premise of the story is that he is a homosexual fertility doctor from a single-gender male-only planet where homosexuality is the norm, and he is forced to leave his planet on an adventure where he encounters the first woman he ever met in his life. Dr. Ethan was raised to consider women as devils, but changes his mind when meeting them.

Another great story that dealt with homosexuality is Theodore Sturgeon’s “The World Well Lost” from 1953. In that one, an alien race is disgusted with humans and refuses contact with us for unknown reasons. They mysteriously broke the radio silence to request that we transport back to them a pair of lovers from their species (who we assume are male and female) who have delighted the entire planet Earth. Assigned to the job of returning the alien lovers are two earthmen space pilots with very different personalities. The more introverted earthman hero discovers that the alien lovers have a secret: they are both male and homosexual. You see, members of their species have extreme physical differences between the sexes. This is the reason their race refuses all contact with humans: to their eyes, all humans, with our comparatively minimal gender differences, look to them “like an entire species of queers.” When asked how the earthman hero figured all this out, it is revealed he is homosexual himself and in love with his fellow earth pilot.  

when the big bad finally reveals himself to the protagonist and you hear clapping but when he steps out of the shadow he’s actually slapping his big fat balls

After going through some tunnels hidden under the town inn, the party finds a hole in the ceiling of a dead end, big enough to fit through, but too high for any of us to reach

Me: “Before we leave, are there any loose rocks lying around?”

Dm: “Yes?”

Me: “I’m going to go ahead and toss a few up into the hole, so that if this cave loops around back to that room, we’ll know that dropping down the hold just leads back here.” *Does so*

Later, after the innkeeper reveals himself as mindflayer, and decides that, after being hit by three spells and losing what we later found out was half his health in one turn, runs away and levitates up through the hole

Me: “Does he at least slip on the rocks I threw up there earlier?”

DM: “I mean, not unless he rolls a 1.” *rolls*

Me: “Well?”

DM: “…You hear a loud thump from above you, along with a muffled ’fuck’.”

Things that didn’t get enough appreciation in Thor ragnarok

MAJOR MAJOR SPOILERS!

All kinda out of order and crazy so sorry for the disorganization. Masterlist    Prompt List    Request Here

Asgard under Loki’s rule has a heavy emphasis on the arts

Thor giving Loki a warning before making him reveal himself

Loki’s oh shit

Loki dropping Odin off at a nursing home. (He could have dropped him off literally anywhere else, but Loki chose a nursing home.)

Loki’s expression when Odin greets him and Thor as “My sons.” (because thats probably the first time in decades Odin has called Loki his son, or presented him as Thor’s equal)

Dr. Strange letting Loki fall for 30 min instead of putting him in an inexcapable room or something

Loki calling Dr. Strange a second class sorcerer 

The fact that Valkyrie probably created her amazing robot by herself, because it doesn’t look anything like the Grandmaster would have.

Loki getting to sit on the Grandmaster’s private couch when no one else could

THE GRANDMASTER IS THE COLLECTORS BROTHER (I saw this in a youtube vid where Jeff Goldblum mentioned that. I just think its notable how the king of a place where all LOST THINGS end up, is the brother of THE COLLECTOR)

Hulk being able to talk in hulk form

Valkyrie being an absolute drunk instead of a cute flirty drunk

Her and Hulk’s friendship (Almost like brother and sister relationship)

Bruce recognized Tony’s clothes even though Thor just shoved them into his chest. 

Thor and Jane broke up apparently? (TBH Im not upset about it. Thor was never there and when he was it was because she was in danger and he felt like he had to help her)

Thor wanting to be a Valkyrie until he learned that he couldn’t be. But even after, he still admires and respects them. (Proves that Thor is a true feminist) 

ROMANCE DOES NOT DRIVE THE MOVIE

“There better be cupholders on it” 

Thor constantly throwing objects at Loki to make sure he’s really there

The whole scene where Thor and Valkyrie are fighting in mid air on top of the ships. 

The entire snake bit and Loki smiling fondly at the memory VALYKYRIE WINNING IN A FIGHT AGAINST LOKI AND HIM STILL RESPECTING HER

LOKI STABBED THOR AT AGE 8 AND THEY THEY BOTH WERE FINE?!

Loki choosing to come back even after Thor electrocuted him and left him in the Garndmaster’s vault. (Thor gave Loki every opportunity to turn his back on him, but still trusted him enough to grab the crown and put it into the eternal flame.)

Thor 100% agrees that Hela is the rightful ruler of Asgard, butttttttt she’s to violent so he knows she can’t be queen.

VALKYRIE BEING BI SEXUAL

NO ONE CALLED HELA A BITCH FOR BEING AN ASSERTIVE POWERFUL WOMAN WITH AMBITION AND DETERMINATION. NO ONE! 

Loki getting the redemption arc he deserved

Thor and Loki getting to be brothers from the first time we’ve seen and actually fight by each other’s side 

Thor being proud of Loki for coming back to Asgard

Loki being proud of Thor for harnessing his lightning powers. 

There is not a single butt or boob shot of Valkyire, or any shot that paints her in a sexual light. 

The fact that when she’s threatening Thor with a knife and he pushes it away, she brings it back up and he doesn’t try to push it away again. (HE RESPECTS HER ENOUGH TO UNDERSTAND THAT SHE IS GOING TO MAKE SURE THAT KNIFE IS THERE AND HE BETTER GET USED TO IT NOW)

Loki noticing how insecure Thor is with his eye patch and immediately putting Thor at ease by saying it suits him. (Not only does it look good, but it suits his personality)

How similar Odin and Thor look now (what are you trying to say Marvel)

The wink the grandmaster gives Loki when he mentions his age and Thors confused look. (The fact that Loki is more like “whelp now you know Thor” than embarrassed or upset.) 

Odin probably being the worst father in history. Couldn’t parent 1 of 3 kids right

IM HERE!

I know I have more but I just can’t think of them right now so here you go! 

  • Rick reveals himself to be autistic
  • Rick and Morty mock the president and become enemies of the state
  • Rick brings peace to the middle east by smoking space weed
  • Rick is literally branded a terrorist after humiliating and beating up the president
  • The status quo from the beginning of the series is resumed.

To me, this episode’s message is “Justin and Dan despise the misaimed fandom”

Okay, okay, okay, but I CANNOT get this AU idea out of my head:

Castiel, as a Reaper instead of an Angel.

Castiel, meeting Dean for the first time when Dean is four years old, standing in front of his burning home with the flames reflecting in the tear tracks on his face. Castiel revealing himself to Dean, gently prompting Dean to mind Sammy’s head as the infant cries and squirms, because he really doesn’t want to reap more than one soul tonight. Laying a sorrowful, sheltering hand on Dean’s head and staring down into pleading green eyes and whispering, “I’m sorry,” before walking slowly up the burning porch to reap Mary Winchester’s soul (who refuses to go with him anyways).

Castiel, as the Reaper who appears to Dean after the car accident while Dean is in a coma, shocked when Dean remembers him from that night so many years ago. Dean jokingly asking, “Are my guardian angel or something?” and Castiel sadly telling him, “No. Rather the opposite, I’m afraid,” and having to explain to Dean about the existence of Reapers. Castiel wishing to himself that he didn’t have to reap this vibrant young man, who is brave and frustrating and stubborn and obviously so full of life, and then realizing he should be careful about what he wishes for, because Dean is spared but Castiel is forced to reap Dean’s father instead, and he hates that he’s causing Dean more pain.

Castiel, meeting Dean again less than a year later. And then meeting him again. And again. And again, as Dean and Sam work the Trickster case, and Dean dies every day. They get to know each other pretty well, and it becomes something of a running joke: “We’ve got to stop meeting this way, Cas,” Dean teases, and each day Dean bemoans the ridiculous new way that he’s just been killed, and Castiel commiserates sympathetically and helpfully points out that at least Dean didn’t pee himself this time. And he hates that Dean has to die every day, but he hates himself even more because he can’t help dreading the day they catch the Trickster and it all stops, because then he won’t have an excuse to keep seeing Dean and listen to his laugh and hear about his favorite bands and watch the fond way he looks at his brother.

Castiel, appearing when Sam is stabbed by Jake, sick to death with the thought of reaping the soul from Dean’s brother. He doesn’t reveal himself to Dean in the real world this time, even though he could, because he can’t bear to have Dean turn those stricken green eyes on him, he’s a coward, a coward, a coward - but it doesn’t stop Dean, kneeling in the dirt and clutching the lifeless body of his brother tight in his arms, from screaming out, “I know you’re out there, Cas! Don’t you dare take him! I’ll never forgive you!” And he thinks it’s a cruel, cruel joke that he’s destined to continually reap the souls of the people Dean loves most, one by one, and when Castiel leads away the soul of Sam Winchester, there are tears on both their faces as they tell Dean ‘goodbye’, even though he can’t hear them.

Castiel, being summoned one year later, unsure of what’s happening, suddenly finding himself staring down at Dean’s shredded body on the floor at his feet - but Dean’s soul is still here, obstinate and unyielding, circled by snapping hellhounds but refusing to let them drag him away because “I said I’d go to Hell and I will, but I don’t need hand-fucking-delivered by these fleabags, I’ll take my own way there, goddammit! I’m allowed a Reaper! Bring Castiel the Reaper!” And Castiel raises his eyes and meets Dean’s gaze, and it’s gentle, and resigned, and frightened, and forgiving, and Castiel doesn’t deserve it, he’s never deserved anything less than the understanding in those eyes, and he’d rather be anywhere else, he’d rather be dead himself, than here to take away Dean’s soul to Hell. But he does his job and he leads Dean to the gates of Hell, except then he can’t go, he can’t leave Dean here, he can’t - until Dean kisses him, sudden and fleeting, and tells him, “It’s okay, Cas,” and pushes him away.

Castiel, blindly turning away for only the briefest span of time - the blink of an eye, the pulse of a human heartbeat - before he realizes he can’t do this. Screw the job, screw the deals, and screw the laws of nature, he will not leave Dean here…except when he turns around, Dean is already gone. 

Castiel, spending the next forty years breaking into Hell, laying waste to horde after horde of demons with the fatal touch of his ghastly true form. The memory of Dean’s kiss burns a brand against his lips, and when he finally, finally finds Dean, the touch of Castiel’s spectral hand burns its own brand on Dean’s soul as he grips him tight - the touch of death claiming a soul already dead, because Dean is his. Dean looking up at Castiel, and his soul is messy and tortured and broken, but he still manages a smile as he chokes out: “See? Told ya you were my guardian angel,” and Castiel carries Dean’s soul out of Hell and chooses life.

Vogue out here doing the lord’s work...

People Magazine: Blake Shelton is the sexiest man alive

Vogue: Oh that’s cute…here’s a list of men that people actually want.

Chris Pine

If the sexiest man alive has to be a blue-eyed bro, he ought to be the best one in the business. From playing Wonder Woman’s damsel in distress to shedding tears at the Oscars, Pine has proved himself the superior Chris.

Ezra Miller

While other actors may play it cool, Miller is delightfully offbeat. Whether he’s showing up on the red carpet wearing the brightest Fenty Beauty lipstick he can find or arriving at Comic-Con in Fullmetal Alchemist cosplay, Miller does things his way.

Bill Skarsgård

Who would have guessed that beneath all of Pennywise’s creepy clown makeup was the youngest member of Sweden’s acting dynasty? With the elegant looks of a male model and a sense of humor about the whole child-eating–clown thing, Skarsgård is adorable.

Cole Sprouse

A Renaissance man for Generation Z, Riverdale’s Sprouse is an actor, photographer, and the kind of easy-on-the-eyes crush you won’t mind sharing with your little sister.

David Harbour

Sheriff Jim Hopper may be a little off his game in Stranger Things’s second season, but Harbour’s presence is always welcome. At 6 foot 3, burly, and more than willing to voice his opinions, he is seriously underrated heartthrob material.

Frank Ocean

Ocean’s music is unquestionably seductive, and with each new release he reveals another side of himself—to which we say: More, please!

Minho

After stealing the spotlight from Melania Trump during the First Family’s visit to South Korea, the whole world was eager to find out more about Shinee superstar, Minho. A K-pop veteran with a voice like silk, his mere presence leads to headlines and fainting fans: What more do you need to know?

John Boyega

Look, if you don’t love Boyega, you need to reevaluate your life—and your priorities.

Taika Waititi


Admit it, you went to see Thor: Ragnarok in part because of its hilarious and handsome director, Waititi. Multitalented—check out vampire mockumentary What We Do in the Shadows for a taste of his comedic side—and capable of pulling off a floral short set (no small feat!), Waititi is definitely crush-worthy.

Emmanuel Macron

Politicians are rarely given pinup status, but like Justin Trudeau and Barack Obama before him, Macron’s appeal goes far beyond his policies. The French president’s dashing good looks, personal style, and sound leadership make him a rarity among world leaders.

Kumail Nanjiani

The Big Sick, Nanjiani and his wife and writing partner Emily Gordon’s true story of how they fell in love, essentially rebooted the romantic comedy genre. While he’s off the market, Nanjiani’s sense of humor and comedic talent even made the powers that be at the official list take note.

Pharrell Williams

As Vogue’s latest cover star and one of the most stylish men in show business, Williams, at 44, has maintained his cool longer than most pop acts have been in existence—and he’s never been more relevant.

Calling it, thanks to a theory I saw (but it won’t let me tag the person–sad)

Magnus has to be a double agent of some kind. He’s way too smart to just blindly follow the Queen, and be ordered around by her or send his people to live in her realm as her subjects or whatever. That has to be “the catch” that Luke was wondering about and we didn’t hear Magnus’ answer–he was asking Luke and Raphael to go along with it because it had to work out for him to find the information he needs. And he knew it would be painful for them to do–going against the people they care about–hence he insisting that they need a drink. She and the Shadowhunters had to believe that he (and Luke and Raphael) were siding with the Queen against the Clave.

Also, Raphael’s “he’s got bigger things on his mind right now” when he was speaking with Izzy makes me think that wasn’t a reference to Malec–I think it was a reference to this and how Magnus is fooling the Queen. 

He knew he couldn’t be emotionally involved with Alec during it–the “betrayal” had to feel real for him to side with the Queen and for her to reveal aspects of her plan to him. He knew he couldn’t do what he needs to do whilst so close to Alec. Also, when Alec said in 2x17 that he couldn’t ask Magnus to keep a secret from his people–this is Magnus respecting Alec’s feelings about being a leader. By not involving Alec in this, he’s not asking him to keep a secret from the other Shadowhunters. 

He is doing what’s best for his people–figuring out how to save them since he knows the Queen will eventually do something shady and he doesn’t want them to live as her “subjects” in her court. And he knows Valentine just wants them dead. 

He had to be clever and find a way to work with the most powerful woman in the Downworld while also saving his people and preventing war with the Clave. 

And, in doing so, he had to hurt the person he loves the most. 

He’s going to expose her to Alec, Izzy, Clary, and Jace. But, of course, he’s still heartbroken (and drinking) because he knows that, by doing this, he’s hurting Alec since Alec feels like he’s lost him.

But, boy, once he reveals himself if this theory is right, I will be so fucking pumped. Magnus Fucking Bane for the win.

The 14 Worst Things About Hugh Hefner, as Revealed in Holly Madison's New Book

Note: these aren’t the worst things he’s ever done, but they do convey a useful insight into his character

1. Though they publicly denied it, all girlfriends were expected to participate in Hef’s bizarre bedtime group sex ritual. “I didn’t immediately realize that all girlfriends were required to sleep with Hef,” Madison writes.

2. Hef would take photos of his girlfriends and him every night before they went out, then have them delivered to each girlfriend’s door the next morning. The photos “only amplified the massive pressure to always look perfect and cause the girlfriends to spend hours critiquing their appearances,” Madison writes. (She also describes Hef as a “hoarder” with “endless desire for momentos.”)

3. Hef offered Madison a quaalude out of a crumpled tissue on her first night out clubbing with him. When Madison told him she doesn’t do drugs, she says Hef replied, “Usually I don’t approve of drugs, but you know, in the ‘70s they used to call these pills 'thigh openers.’”

4. Among his bizarre set of mansion rules, Madison writes, were that the girlfriends change into identical flannel pajamas before the bedtime routine.

5. He would watch porn, smoke pot, and jerk off while his girlfriends and whoever else happened to be joining them that night pretended to get it on around him.Madison says they would take turns pleasuring Hef, but he always finished by himself. Madison reveals that she made her first foray into Hef’s bedroom after a night out with “roughly a third of a bottle of vodka sloshing around in my stomach.” “There was zero intimacy involved,” she writes. “No kissing, nothing. It was so brief that I can’t even recall what it felt like beyond having a heavy body on top of mine.”

6. He made his sons Marston, 9 years old when Madison moved in, and Cooper, 10, share a bedroom with a girlfriend. This was Bedroom 3, which came with three beds and a private bath. “Though they never stayed over when I was there, there were still toys scattered across the bedroom floor,” Madison writes, “which made for an incredibly odd and, frankly, creepy juxtaposition.”

7. He would constantly create drama and infighting among his girlfriends by randomly changing his long-held positions or household policies to favor one over the rest of them. Shortly after Madison moved in, she recalls, one girlfriend moved out of Bedroom 5, a small room that was coveted because it was a single, affording whoever occupied it much-needed privacy that was otherwise hard to come by in the mansion. It was assumed that April, who became a girlfriend only several months before Madison, would move into Bedroom 5, but instead she asked Hef if she could have Bedroom 3 entirely to herself. This was seen as unfair by the rest of the girlfriends based on how bedroom hierarchy had previously worked. But Hef approved her request, forcing Madison to move out of the room. Hef was also known to hate red lipstick, Madison says in her book. When Madison came home from the salon after a makeover that included shorter hair and red lipstick, Hef reportedly told her, “I hate the whole look. I hate the makeup and I hate the red lipstick.” He added, “You look old, hard, and cheap.” When Kendra Wilkinson moved in later and appeared before Hef wearing red lipstick, Madison braced herself for his wrath, only for him to tell Wilkinson, “Why, that red lipstick looks absolutely wonderful on you, Kendra!”

8. Hef demanded his girlfriends be in by the 9 o'clock curfew each night. When Madison witnessed two of the girlfriends come in past 9 one night, Madison writes, Hef “kicked his feet, mustered up some questionable crocodile tears (was he really crying?I thought), and told them if they wanted to 'stay out late’ they could move out.”

9. There was no confusion as to what sort of fashion and beauty aesthetic Hef expected his girlfriends to adopt. “He made it abundantly clear that he preferred us in very over-the-top, sort of trashy outfits (think BeDazzled rhinestone bustiers and skirts so short there was barely a point in wearing them),” Madison writes. Compliments bestowed upon one girlfriend’s appearance were noted and that very look would be adopted by the rest of the girlfriends on the next night out. For attiring themselves, Hef provided each girlfriend with $1,000 weekly “clothing allowance” and unlimited beauty services courtesy of his account at the José Eber salon in Beverly Hills. Plastic surgery also came courtesy of Hef, Madison says, the most commonly requested procedures including boob jobs, nose jobs, and liposuction. (Madison writes about working up the courage to ask Hef for a nose job.)

10. The culture of isolation Hef created at the mansion even extended to his infamous parties where, Madison writes, “the protocol was that we stay at Hef’s table all night.” Dancing was permitted so long as it was right in front of Hef’s table. Girlfriends were allowed to leave only to go to the bathroom. When Hef left the party, usually at 1 a.m., the girlfriends “had to go upstairs with him.” But some of the girlfriends snuck back down to the parties to meet men and celebrities. Only, they’d have to avoid the mansion’s in-house video crew, who would place a highlight reel from the party at Hef’s door the next morning.

11. Hef would mansplain movies. “During movie nights” — which were scheduled to occur three nights out of the week at the mansion — “he would lean over to me to explain the plotlines and time periods in the most condescending of ways,” Madison writes. Describing all her dialogue with Hef as “superficial,” she said he refused to discuss books, politics, or current events with her.

12. Madison, Bridget Marquardt, and Wilkinson didn’t get paid for the first order of Girls Next Door, Madison claims in her book. She adds that Hef argued that the money the three got for posing for Playboy, which was filmed for the series, constituted their payment for the show as well. Whereas Madison reports amateur models got $25,000 for a pictorial, reality stars $40,000 to $50,000, and former girlfriends of Hef’s, the Bentley twins, got $100,000, the three Girls Next Door ladies only got $25,000 for their shoot.

13. He once told Wilkinson she looked like she was “putting on some weight,” and warned her to watch her diet.

14. He keeps a picture of every girl who’s ever been to the mansion. A mansion staffer would take photographs of women visiting for the first time, Madison says. The photos (mostly Polaroids) were saved for Hef to review the next day. “He would label them A, B, or C (based primarily on their looks but also on how scantily clad they were) before having them catalogued in his social secretary’s office,” Madison explains. Madison would eventually discover she received an “A.”

The Dragon and His Knight

“C’mon, Teddy, it’s time to sleep,” Harry said for about the millionth time that night.

“No! I don’t want to sleep. I want to see Draco,” Teddy responded stubbornly. The four year old crossed his arms and scowled at his godfather.

Harry sighed a long suffering sigh. “Teddy, I’m sure Draco is busy grading papers. We don’t want to interrupt him.”

“Yes we do!” Teddy said.

For the past two hours, Harry had been trying to get the little menace to go to bed, but Teddy kept insisting that he wouldn’t comply until he got to visit his cousin, Draco. Harry was reluctant to bring Teddy to Professor Malfoy’s rooming quarters for more than one reason. The first reason being that, like he said, he was sure Draco would be grading papers and would get ornery if someone interrupted his work. The second reason was that Harry had no idea where he stood with Draco after what happened yesterday. Harry hoped that he hadn’t completely ruined his and Draco’s friendship by kissing him, especially since that friendship meant so much to him.

“Please, Harry,” Teddy begged.

Harry weighed his options. On the one hand, he could refuse to bring Teddy to visit Draco, which would mean Harry would get about four hours of sleep, and probably fall asleep in the middle of a Defense Against the Dark Arts lecture tomorrow. On the other hand, if he did bring Teddy to visit Draco, he would have to see Draco, and talk to Draco, and try to hide the fact that he was incredibly, stupidly in love with Draco.

But then Teddy made the choice for Harry by screaming at the top of his lungs, “I won’t go to sleep until we see Draco!”

“Shh, Teddy,” Harry said. He hurriedly covered Teddy’s mouth with his hand. Harry was really not in the mood to get reprimanded by McGonagall for waking up the entire school. “We’ll go see Draco, okay? But we’re going to be very quiet, and we’re only going to stay for a little bit.”

“Yay!” Teddy said when Harry removed his hand. His hair changed from an angry red into a bright turquoise.

Harry led Teddy through the empty, dark halls of Hogwarts, holding him by the hand to prevent the child from sprinting ahead. When they reached the door to Draco’s room in the dungeons, Teddy said excitedly, “I’ll hide behind you, so I can surprise him!” Harry smiled at Teddy’s enthusiasm, even though he was still quite irritated with the boy.

Harry took a deep breath and then knocked on Draco’s door. He heard a muffled “fuck” on the other side of the door.

“What do you want?” Draco’s sharp voice sounded from inside.

Harry didn’t say anything, as he was afraid Draco wouldn’t open the door if he knew who it was, so he knocked again.

“For Merlin’s sake,” Draco said irritably, and the door to his quarters swung open reveal a flustered, pajama-cladden Draco. “Harry,” Draco said. He looked- and sounded -just as surprised to see Harry as Harry was to see him. Well, Harry wasn’t exactly surprised to see Draco, but he was surprised to see the state that Draco was in. His normally groomed-to-perfection blond hair was all ruffled and messed up, sticking out at awkward angles. Draco’s pajamas consisted of a white cotton t-shirt that was just tight enough to show off his lean, muscled frame, and pants with a small pattern on them that suspiciously resembled Harry’s glasses and scar. Frankly, Draco was adorable and sexy at the same time, and the sight was nearly enough to make Harry swoon.

“What the fuck are you doing here, Potter?” Draco asked, pulling Harry out of a fantasy in which he was running his fingers through Draco’s tousled hair.

“Language,” Harry replied, remembering that Teddy was also there.

“Language? Are you serious, Potter? I’ve heard you say much worse. And by the way, you didn’t answer my ques-”
Draco was cut off by Teddy abruptly jumping out from behind Harry and shouting, “Surprise!” The little boy ran towards Draco and hugged his legs. His hair was now the same platinum color of Draco’s.

“Teddy,” Draco said, shocked. He looked from Teddy to Harry, confusion in his eyes.

“Andromeda made last minute plans to go on a date and asked me to take Teddy for the night,” Harry explained, looking down at his feet to avoid eye contact. “Anyways, Teddy refused to go to bed unless he got to visit you.”

“Andromeda is dating?”

Harry laughed. That was not the question he was expecting. “I suppose so.”

“Who?” Draco asked.

“Er, I don’t know. She’s your aunt, after all. Shouldn’t you know who she’s dating?”

Draco shrugged. He smiled down at Teddy and bent down to pick him up. And, no, Harry definitely did not look at Draco’s arse when he bent down. He did not. And he certainly did not wish he could touch Draco’s arse. And when Draco lifted Teddy to rest at his hip, Harry was not admiring Draco’s arm muscles. And if he was, it was completely innocent. There was no way Harry was imagining Draco’s arms pinning Harry to a bed.

“I’m glad you came to visit me,” Draco said to Teddy with a smile.

“Me too,” Teddy said. “I wish I could live at Hogwarts and be with you and Harry all the time.”

Draco chuckled. “That would be an adventure.”

Harry was beginning to feel awkward so he said to Teddy, “Well, now that you’ve seen Draco, are you ready to go to bed?”

“No!” Teddy replied instantly, clinging to Draco. “Draco has to tell me a story first. He tells the best stories.”

Harry looked to Draco, who just grinned with a shrug. “It’s true,” Draco said. “Uh, you can come inside if you want.”

Harry’s heart immediately started being faster at the thought of being in Draco’s room. “Sure,” Harry said, careful not to sound too eager.

Draco moved to the side to let Harry in and then shut the door. Harry surveyed the room in awe. The far wall was completely made of glass, and on the other side of the glass was the green-tinted water of the Black Lake. There wasn’t much to look at, just some seaweed and and fish, but it was beautiful anyway. Teddy ran over to look out at the lake as Harry turned his attention to the furniture in the room. Draco’s bed was near the glass wall, and so were his wardrobe and trunk. More in the middle of the room was a fireplace, a sofa, and two armchairs. Harry jealously wondered who Draco invited over to sit in those armchairs. The part of the room that Harry was standing in seemed to be Draco’s personal potions lab. There was a desk covered in papers, and a long table with a cauldron and many potions ingredients on it.

“What do you think?” Draco suddenly asked. Somehow he had ended up standing right next to Harry.

Harry shivered at the close proximity and answered honestly, “It’s nice.”

Draco seemed pleased. He smiled and even blushed a little. “Thanks. Guess I should give Teddy that story now.”

Harry nodded. He watched Draco walk over to Teddy and silently admired the elegance in Draco’s movements.


Five minutes later, Harry and Draco were settled in the armchairs and Teddy was nestled between a thick layer of blankets and the soft cushions of Draco’s sofa. Draco was deep in a story about a beautiful silver dragon that was being hunted down by the people in a nearby kingdom, because the dragon was thought to be dangerous.

“The people had no way of knowing that the dragon was really a handsome prince that had been cursed to be a dragon until he met his true love,” Draco was saying. Teddy looked at his cousin with reverence, hanging onto his every word. Draco didn’t notice that Harry was doing the same. “So the king chose one of his knights, the most brave and noble one, to go find the dragon and slay it.”

Teddy gasped. “No,” he whispered.

“The knight did as he was told and left for the mountains, where the Dragon was hiding.”

“Did he kill the dragon?” Teddy asked impatiently.

“Well, when he found the dragon, it was asleep. The knight was ready to kill it, he had his sword posed to strike, but then the dragon opened its eyes. And guess what happened when the knight looked into the dragon’s eyes?”

“The dragon turned back into a prince,” Harry answered automatically.

Draco looked at Harry amusedly. “I was asking Teddy.”

“Oh, of course.”

“Anyway,” Draco continued. “The dragon was suddenly enveloped in a magical, blinding light. When the light was gone, the knight was astonished to find that there was no more dragon. Instead, there was a man. It was the prince, but he didn’t have a crown, or any fancy robes, so the knight thought he was just a commoner. Since the knight was noble, he helped the prince nonetheless and promised to take him to the kingdom. As the two traveled to the kingdom, they became very close and began to fall in love. It wasn’t until they arrived at the kingdom that the prince revealed the truth about himself and the curse that could only be broken by true love. The knight and the prince got married the next day and lived happily ever after.” Draco was whispering by the end of the story, because Teddy had begun to fall asleep.

Harry smiled at Draco. He liked the story, and he especially liked the dragon. Draco saw Harry’s smile and he returned it before getting up and gesturing for Harry to follow him. Draco led Harry to his office, which was connected to his room by a short passageway.

“Thanks for telling Teddy that story,” Harry said once the two of them had made themselves comfortable in the office- Draco in his leather chair, and Harry sitting on Draco’s desk with his legs hanging off the edge.

“No problem. I can keep him for the rest of the night if you want,” Draco offered.

“You don’t have-”

“No, it’s fine. I want to.”

“Okay,” Harry agreed.

There was a beat of silence.

“I feel li-”

“I like your pajama pants,” Harry said, cutting off Draco, because he wasn’t ready for rejection yet.

Draco’s face went pink. “They were a gift,” he disclosed.

“Right,” Harry said. He smirked and Draco’s blush increased.

“Pansy thinks she’s bloody hilarious,” Draco muttered irritably.

“Kudos to Pansy for selecting such a great gift.”

Draco rolled his eyes.

More silence.

“We need to talk,” Draco said.

Harry exhaled deeply. No more pretending then. “I know.”

“You kissed me. Why?”

Tell him it was a mistake, tell him you didn’t mean it, tell him you want to forget it ever happened, screamed a voice in Harry’s head. But Harry was tired of lying to Draco, and to himself. He summoned all of his Gryffindor courage and confessed, “Because I like you. I really, really like you, and I’ve wanted to kiss you everyday for almost a year now. And yesterday I just couldn’t stop myself. You were standing there, rambling about your new potion, and you were so excited and passionate and I felt like my heart was exploding.”

Draco stared at Harry like his whole world had been turned upside down.


The next morning…

When Andromeda came by Hogwarts to pick up her grandson and found Harry’s room empty, she knew the next logical place to look was Draco’s room. But when she arrived at Draco’s room, what happened next was not at all logical. Because little Teddy was the one to greet her at the door.

“Where are Draco and Harry, sweetheart?” she asked the small boy.

“In bed,” Teddy answered like it was obvious.

Andromeda’s heart nearly stopped. If Draco and Harry had finally gotten together, she was thrilled, but she was appalled to think that the two of them would be doing things while Teddy was in the room.

She stalked over to Draco’s bed and was relieved to find that Draco and Harry were fully clothed. Draco was leaning against the headboard as he slept, and Harry’s head rested peacefully in his lap. A book entitled The Dragon and His Knight lie on the bedside table.

“Are Draco and Harry true loves?” Teddy asked his grandmother.

Andromeda smiled. “I think so.”
“Are they gonna live happily forever after?”

“Of course they are. That’s what true loves do, isn’t it?”

anonymous asked:

Now I want all the bros weird sleeping habits lol!!

Ask and ye shall receive

Sleeping arrangements: Gladio, Noctis, Prompto, Ignis

Ignis

    • Has very vivid dreams and usually remembers them perfectly
      • Doesn’t really talk about them though
    • Sleeptalks every night without fail
      • Sometimes it’s random nonsense
      • Sometimes he manages to string together complete thoughts
        • Secretly fears what he’ll reveal about himself while he’s asleep
          • (I mentioned in my last post that he says, “I hate carrots” in his sleep once)
            • (It’s true)
              • (IGNIS DOESN’T LIKE CARROTS)
                • (Eats them anyway)
        • Talks about knives in his sleep often enough that it’s a little… concerning
    • Once dreamed a man was standing in the corner of the tent, watching the boys sleep
      • Wakes up without realizing he’s not in the dream anymore
        • SUMMONS A DAGGER AND THROWS IT INTO THE CORNER OF THE TENT
          • Cue lots of confused and terrified screaming
            • Ignis sleeps in a sleeping bag zipped all the way up after that, with his arms tucked inside. It’s harder for him to sit up or use his arms, so he usually comes to his senses as he wriggles around
    • Usually wakes up with Gladio; he gets breakfast ready while Gladio does some morning exercises
      • Always has water, a towel, and a smoothie with protein powder ready for Gladio when he gets back

Gladio

    • Doesn’t always snore
      • But when he does
        • HE SNORES SO LOUDLY
          • It keeps Prompto awake
            • He will always try to discreetly wake Gladio up while making it look like an accident
              • Texting Noct’s phone so it makes a loud noise
              • …Throwing things at Gladio’s face and then pretending to still be asleep…
                • Sometimes Gladio thinks it’s Noct doing it and he pays the Ultimate Price
    • Can function with very little sleep; late nights affect him the least 
    • Sharing a bed with him kind of sucks because he is so big and he sleeps with his stupid-giant limbs spread out everywhere like a musclebound starfish
    • Always offers to grab breakfast ingredients from the store for Ignis during his morning runs, if they’re sleeping in a hotel

Prompto

  • Usually the last person to fall asleep
    • Scrolls on his phone while the other boys are sleeping
  • Sleeps on his side, always
  • Has the weirdest dreams
    • Some of them involve friends and acquaintances and they’re so weird that he gets uncomfortable around them for a while
      • Once he dreamed that King Regis challenged him to a race around the track at school
        • Which wouldn’t have been so weird if Regis hadn’t been barefoot and dressed in a banana costume
          • Dream Regis: “You cannot defeat me, dear boy. Not when I have the power of Dad Jokes”
            • Regis does win the race. He spews Dad Joke after Dad Joke as he runs
              • Prompto is so upset in the dream that he lost that he wakes up literally crying
  • Suffers from occasional night terrors
    • Sits bolt upright in bed with a loud gasp, has to pant to catch his breath
    • Ignis always wakes up during these episodes and helps calm Prompto down
      • On the really bad nights he slips out and makes Prompto some chamomile tea
        • (He’ll also make chamomile tea when Prompto’s stomach is upset)
  • It doesn’t matter if this kid sleeps for nine hours or for two– he will always be SO TIRED WHEN HE WAKES UP
    • He has perpetual bags under his eyes
  • Is somehow both a morning and a night person though?????
    • It pisses Noctis off!!!!!!

Noctis

  • Sleeps in whatever position he starts in and will not move once the entire night
    • He is so still and quiet when he sleeps
      • Sometimes it looks like he’s dead
        • Prompto has legitimately woken up and thought Noctis died in his sleep because he doesn’t look like he’s even breathing
    • The deepest sleeper who has EVER LIVED
      • Seriously it’s like he’s dead or in a coma some mornings…
        • On these days, Gladio just scoops him up and dumps him in his chair by the fire. That’s usually enough to wake him up. He just sits there, head nodding up and down as he drifts in and out of sleep, until Ignis hands him his breakfast
    • Never remembers his dreams
      • Except for one
        • It involves Ignis
          • Noctis: “Hey, Ignis, can you–”
          • Ignis: “That is not my name”
          • Noctis: “That’s… what?”
          • Ignis: “The ‘S’ denotes a plural. I am but one man. I am not Ignis. I am a single Igni.”
          • Noctis:
          • Igni: “It is elementary stuff, Nocti.”
          • Nocti: 

So I realized something really interesting about Lotor’s team and how it’s set up, even though we haven’t yet seen the five of them all take the field at the same time.

Narti and Ezor are both ambushers. Narti can climb walls and ceilings, has her one-touch mind control and an extra set of senses that allow her to spy very effectively and make it very difficult to sneak up on or hide from her. Ezor has her disappearing act, and is also a grappler who traps limbs and manipulates her foes physically.

Acxa and Zethrid are both primarily ranged fighters, though Zethrid is also very good at suddenly lunging into close combat.

Where does Lotor fit into this? At first glance, he doesn’t. He’s a close quarters fighter, and while he certainly has aptitude for ambushing, he has to rely on his environment to give him those advantages- it’s reliant on picking good places to hit from, like the setup on Puig or, the entirety of the shindig on Thayserix.

But Lotor is a performer- and one whose main underlying stratagem is that he’s deliberately flashy and draws focus to himself. S3e3 relies entirely on the fact that Lotor puts himself out there and hassles the paladins for a bit, and then scoots- and Keith chases him blindly right into a trap.

The paladins were aware of and focused on Lotor for basically all of season 3 after the first episode. But they only realized the generals existed in s3e6, when from their perspective, a fully-actualized and specialized strike team popped out of thin air to kick their butts.

And isn’t that exactly what Lotor did to Throk? As either the anonymous gladiator or revealing himself, Lotor commanded center stage and kept Throk’s focus on him- while the generals surrounded Throk.

Basically Lotor’s surrounded himself with people who are all devastating to distracted targets, and then set himself up as a performer, the charismatic, obvious ‘face’. And he can keep that up as long as he needs to, because his greatest skill is evasion and maneuvering.

Lotor baits people into attacking him and cheerfully lets them miss by inches- oh, so close, maybe next time?- and when they’re good and mad and focused completely on him, the generals drop in and eat them alive.