Au where Jack didn’t go to Samwell and after a few years and a cup with the Falconers he gets traded to a team in Canada, so now he lives around 2-3 hours from his parents.
Meanwhile Bitty graduates and is hired by Alicia Zimmermann to be her assistant, partly because he was a Samwell alumni but also because he was super sweet and brought a pie to the interview.
Bob tried to poach him within a week, but Bitty thought he was only joking. So did a lot of the retired hockey players once they tasted the pies including Mario. Alicia doesn’t allow Bitty alone with Bob or his friends anymore.
Which is why she made Jack promise to stick to him like glue during a charity event she won’t be able to attend, but that Bitty will be at.
“Jack, Eric is the most efficient and pleasant assistant I’ve ever had. He’s also charming, hard working and discreet, and when I had the flu last month he made me go home to rest and brought me chicken soup on his day off. If your dad or his friends try to take him from me again, I can’t be responsibly for my actions.“
This is how Jack somehow ends up playing interference and trying to distract Bitty from talking to anybody at the charity event.
And wow ok this isn’t exactly unpleasant and Bitty is gorgeous and funny, and played hockey.
Bitty is in the middle of trying to explain how increasing his social media would be beneficial, and how he could use his platform for good when Jack sort of blurts out.
"Do you wanna get coffee?”
And Bitty paused, looks at him and smiles, “sure! I’d be happy to go over everything with you again over coffee.”
Jack is too flustered to explain that was a very lame attempt to ask him out, so he goes along with the work orientated coffee situation with the intention of maybe asking him properly afterwards.
Of course, then shenanigans occur where Alicia thinks Jack is now trying to steal Bitty to be his assistant and casually invites herself over for the coffee, so obvs Jack doesn’t ask Bitty then.
“I trusted you,” she says very dramatically when he comes over for dinner that week. “How could you be trying to take my assistant?”
“I am not trying to offer him a job,” Jack groans dramatically, “I’m trying to ask him out!”
Alicia paused, considers this and does a complete 180.
“Jack! This is an amazing idea! I fully support this, oh I can’t believe I crashed your date.”
“It wasn’t a date,” mumbles Jack.
“Ok, we need a plan. You need to woo Eric, he’d be such a wonderful son in law.”
Meanwhile Bob is quietly watching this whole exchange and making his own plan. He absolutely supports Jack’s interest in Bitty, and Alicia is right he’d be a wonderful son in law.
But also Bob does need an assistant since he can’t seem to keep one for more than 2 months at a time, so he’s now planning to steal Bitty while his wife is distracted playing matchmaker.
Bitty had no idea what’s going on, he just wants to continue working for Alicia since she’s so nice and amazing, save enough money to open his own bakery and try not to let in on the fact he has a massive crush on Jack.
I mean, how unprofessional would dating the boss son would look!?
No, he’s going to keep things strictly professional because that’s who he is, a professional who totally doesn’t have the hots for the son of Alicia Zimmermann.
Neil and Andrew adopt a child. Not a baby because that's not who needs to be adopted the most a child who needed a second chance.
I have thought a lot about the idea of Dan and Matt calling Neil in to help them reach a troubled kid on their kid’s high school exy team and Andrew seeing a lot of himself and Neil in the kid and even though he never wanted kids wanting to help this one.
So, I was super excited to see this ask and this is probably going to be long.
Matt is a retired exy player and coaches his and Dan’s daughter’s high school exy team
And sometimes consults the Fox’s current coach (aka his gorgeous wife) for help
But there’s one girl on the team that Matt cannot reach no matter how hard he tries
Madison is this scrawny little fourteen year-old playing on a high school team with and against teens much bigger and older
And her and Matt and Dan’s daughter are the only girls on the team
Madison hardly talks and she’s usually all reserved off the court
But, on it, she gets into fights with guys twice her size and seems to angle for a red card every game
She can also go from reserved to screaming and swearing very fast and she’s gotten into verbal and physical fights in school hallways
She’s failing every single class she’s in because she doesn’t put in any effort
Matt keeps trying to talk to her and see how to help her
He tries so hard to make sure that she knows she can come to him if she needs help with anything, whether it is exy related or not
But it’s kind of like when he told Neil that he would help him with anything and Neil still tried to handle everything himself and insisted he was fine, even when he clearly was not
Jack as a retired hockey player who decides to pursue standup comedy as another career. He thinks he’s hilarious. Bitty also thinks he’s hilarious and isn’t above using his Hollywood powers as an entertainment star to get his darling husband gigs.
Everyone thinks that this is an elaborate joke and a long drawn out campaign for spreading hockey in the USA until they realize, with growing terror, that Jack Zimmermann is absolutely serious about being funny.
(He lands a role on Saturday Night Live as a staff writer and occasional actor. Cameos in all the movies that Bitty has a hand in producing. Does occasional tours across North America that hockey fans, ie most Canadians, flock to. The question “Is Jack Zimmermann funny?” is synonomous with the question “Is Nicolas Cage a good actor?”)
Has anybody ever considered a GilmoreGirls inspired au?
With Bitty as the young father with a baby girl who moves into Samwell, a small town filled with weird but wonderful people.
(Like in my head the kid is adopted because one of his cousins got pregnant and didn’t want to keep the baby, and he moved them away so the baby wouldn’t grow up being looked down by people.)
And maybe he had a boyfriend at the time who was a little older and said he wanted to be a dad, and was willing to make things work but then bailed and Bitty was heartbroken but decided to do it alone.
The cousin would play the part of Christopher sort of, so they’ll play the part of unreliable parental figure who drops unannounced and mess things up.
You have Lardo and Shitty, their quirky neighbours who are a bit nosy, and live in a refurbished barn/studio that is very cool and filled with Lardo’s art, they mean well and are always happy to babysit.
Shitty is the only lawyer in town and has semi retired after making a ridiculous amount of money with big clients, but then having a massive crisis of conscience and decided to leave that corporate world and work with small clients.
Then Ransom and Holster share the mayor position, and spend half the time arguing with each other about the laws and half the time putting ridiculously over the top festivals to attract tourists.
Dex is the grumpy mechanic/handy man for everything in town. He likes Bitty because he isn’t annoying and didn’t act weird when he asked him for help to learn how to cook.
Nursey has a bookshop, and he is always breaking things, so it’s a bit dangerous inside, and he is always calling Dex and the two of them fight a lot about repairs/the state of the shop.
Once Dex brings him a homemade pie, and Nursey blushed so hard he almost passed out. They are dating now.
Chowder is the guy who has a million jobs around town.
Bitty starts working in the bakery/coffee shop as the waiter and worked his way up to management once the owner retired.
Jack is a retired professional hockey player, and the owner of the ice rink, and the coach for the high school hockey team. He is grumpy and frowns a lot and can’t stand the ridiculous traditions in town, but has a massive soft spot for Bitty and his daughter.
Bitty’s daughter is the first girl to join the team, and Jack’s star player. He has a soft spot for her and Bitty, who comes to see almost every practice and definitely every game.
He and Bitty flirt/banter a lot, and Jack’s always dropping by to the coffee shop.
And I dunno, take it anywhere you want to but yeah I just had this vague idea in my head.
So, somehow the Stanley Cup gets damaged/cracked or whatever, goes missing, and a Pandora’s Box of weird spills over the league.
The Aces can’t stop breaking into song. The Schooners have swapped bodies with the Kings. No two Bruins players can be more than three meters apart. Every Panther is now sporting Jagr’s mullet from the 90s, but Jagr himself is bald. The Hurricanes just disappearedmid-game. All of them. Poof.
Enter ‘The Council’ - the retired players and part-time guardians of the Cup. Which up until this point was just a group of Hall of Famers Bob saw twice a year for drinks but is a really serious thing he apparently is now in charge of.
With their former chairman a farm animal, Bob is tasked with restoring order to the League – which would be great if anyone knew anything about what the hell is happening – and calls upon the only unaffected hockey players he can trust to find the cup: his son’s boyfriend and the bros of the Samwell Men’s Hockey team.
Rough and tumble Eric Bittle in eye-black and figure skates
A de-aged, seven-year-old Jack Zimmermann that’s super shy and only speaks French
Chowder single-handedly saving the San Jose Sharks from actual sharks
Ransom and Holster getting married after being sucked into an Aces musical number
Alexei Mashkov as ‘The Bear’
‘The Stick of Destiny’
The soothing sounds of Kent Parson and his Las Vegas Aces
DISCLAIMER:I do not know any of these people, I do not claim to know these people, therefor none of this is factual information (except of course the McLeods who claim their love for one another on the daily) please don’t attack me if you don’t like someone I put on here:) If there is somebody missing or somebody that is a big no no to be on here message me and I will kindly fix it:-)
Erin McLeod(CANWNT/FC Rosengard) & Ella Masar McLeod(FC Rosengard)
I’ve been waiting, and I will keep on waiting until the time is right. You are my equal, my partner, my teammate, my best friend. I’ve done so many stupid things that you’ve made me regret—things I hope you will forgive me for and look beyond— but this, waiting a little longer for the love of my life, I can do.
— Kulti, Mariana Zapata
Following last week’s firing of infamous reporter Rita Skeeter, the Daily Prophet continues to demonstrate its commitment to change by revamping its ancient premises.
The crumbling brick and marble building at 20 Diagon Alley has been demolished and rebuilt. The result: a sleek, glassy affair, its entrance emblazoned with the Prophet’s redesigned logo.
All members of staff have been issued staff passes and colour-coded business cards, which they must carry on their person at all times.
This is in keeping with the newspaper’s newfound commitment to journalistic integrity. For the first time in three centuries, a company motto has been adopted: Renewed, Ready, Responsible.
In another canny PR move, head honcho Jeremiah Cuffe has manoeuvred retired Holyhead Harpies player Ginny Potter into place as the unofficial face of the new establishment. It is rumoured that she only agreed to this on condition of Rita Skeeter’s immediate termination.
Today one of the most successful and talented German player retires. Not only will we miss you captain, but the world of football too. Thanks for so much passion, loyalty, kindness. Thanks for being a true bavarian role model. Can’t wait to see you again
Let’s celebrate Fips last 5 Bundesliga matches with his best moments (5/5)
Brandi Chastain (b. 1968) is an American retired soccer player, who currently works as a coach and sports broadcaster. She started playing soccer for the boys team, as there were no girl teams at the time. Chastain is a two-time FIFA Women’s World Cup champion and has two Olympic gold medals.
She was named to the USWNT All-Time Best XI in 2013, and was inducted into the National Soccer Hall of Fame in 2017.