Humans are weird (aka the only reason I got a Tumblr)
Okay so I am completely immersed in and totally obsessed with the idea that humans are the weird ones in space. But I got to thinking… what about humans that are weird even to other humans? Little quirks would be hilarious to try to explain to aliens.
Here’s a little tidbit of an example:
An experienced crew member aboard the LWSS Karnace widened their small auditory orifice at an unexpected sound. When the noise was detected again, the alien tentatively skittered across the main hall to investigate. They were not surprised to discover that their human crew mate was the source.
“Human-Charlie, why are you hiding the walls?” The alien scanned the light grey panels that were beginning to cover the blue bulkhead of the storage room. “Was the color of this room not satisfactory to you?”
“Oh, hey Zagar, I’m just installing a couple of Gypsum Boards.”
“What purpose do these Gypsum Boards serve?”
“They’re fire resistant.”
At the mention of the blistering inferno, Zagar’s wings folded themselves protectively against the alien’s sides. “Are you aware of an impending combustion in this sector of our ship? Do we need to prepare the emergency pods?”
“What? No, haha. No, these are just a few precautions.” Charlie rapped her tawny knuckles against the blue material of the walls, “I don’t know how flame retardant this stuff from the captain’s planet is.”
“I am relieved to hear that we are taking precautions…”
The human bared her teeth and turned up the sides of her mouth in an unnerving display of amusement, “You want to know why I am taking these precautions.”
It was not a question, yet seeing the sign of merriment on their crew mate, Zagar nodded in response.
Charlie fit the last panel in place and stated, “I am going to conduct a few, um, experiments? With fire. And other things. But mostly fire.”
Zagar’s wings quivered. They began to back out of the storage room, one spindly leg at a time, intent on leaving the chamber empty except for the human and her drawstring bag. “Why must you experiment?”
“I don’t, really. I just like the fire.”
“I haven’t had the chance to play for the last few months because of how busy we’ve been here onboard the Karnace.”
“I do not understand. Is fire not dangerous to your species?”
The humans were a very resilient breed. They could survive many things that other forms could not. This, Zagar was aware of from the bone rattling stories that they had heard from other officers, stories that they hadn’t even bothered to contemplate on account of how absurd and untrue the tales must have been. That is, until Zagar and their crew started working alongside humans themselves.
Fire, however, seemed to be universally perilous.
“Yeah, it is.” Charlie responded with another menacing smile. “That’s part of what makes it fun.”
To Zagar, the bipedal creatures could not get any more terrifying.
However, Zagar had never before met a pyromaniac.
A very poorly tought-out attempt at smuggling an airsoft reflica of an AK-47 into Venezuela, which had become illegal a few months prior, but that I nevertheless wanted to bring in because I was 19 and really fucking retarded, alongside other stuff I shouldn’t have been trying to smuggle as well, let alone together.
Needless to say, I got caught, got sent to a National Guard holding cell, and after a terrible fucking night I managed to “sort things out” and was freed, as a poorer, wiser man.
I still got to keep the replica though, as a reminder of my own stupidity.
The wildfire has made the death toll go up again to surpass the 1991 oakland fire of 25, the current deathtoll is 31. The fire has destoryed a Jewish summer camp called ‘Camp Newman’, destroyed Charles Schultz’s widows home, destoryed wineries and by U.S air quality standards, santa rosa, and some other northbay towns/cites that i can’t name right now are high risk zones for people with breathing/lung issues, I.E my mother and grandmother. Power has returned back to my town but the air is bad, may have to stay longer at a friends house. And BOEING 747’S or 707s are dropping the fire retardant stuff on or ahead of the fire, take thirty minutes to refuel said stuff and fly back to dump more. We’re standing up slowly, but we thank all who helps supports us in dire need.
Can you please give a reason on why you think it's okay to use the word 'retard' and stuff? I'm not attacking you I just really want your answer, since when Aleks was asked he didn't really understand the question. Thank you!
Obviously trying to get a rise, even if this isn’t an “attack” lol. I’m not Aleks and i don’t really use the word “retard and stuff”, i dunno if that’s 1 word all put together or like a phrase?.. Whatever that even means. I will tell you my mother calls me retarded almost every time she calls me. I’m gonna ask her this exact question next time she does it.