-A distressed-looking man came through my lane. After everything I said, such as “I hope you found everything easily today”, “this will be your total”, “your receipt will be in your bag”, he would whisper “I hope.” There was emptiness behind his eyes. Who hurt you, sir. I hope free coupons will help.
-A college boy spilled a bottle of Axe on my conveyor belt. For the next hour I smelled nothing except toxic masculinity and overcompensation.
-I met a baby who lived for the spotlight. As soon as anyone looked at her, she would pose and smile. I have an undying respect for this infant diva. She is destined for big things.
-A girl was on her phone for the entirety of her transaction. This is nothing new. She was on the phone with someone standing ten feet away. This is questionable.
-I have discovered that I can calm even the loudest of crying babies simply by rolling my eyes into my head and sticking out my tongue. My superpower is changing an infant’s mood from distraught to delighted in a matter of seconds. I always knew that having such a funny-looking face would pay off in the end.
-A mother asked her young pre-teen daughter to get two ice waters from Starbucks. The daughter put one hand on her hip and the other in front of her, palm-up, expectantly. The mother told her that water was free. The daughter retorted, “Just give me some money already.” This worked. I question her manners but I respect her go-getter attitude.