resting my bones


derek and casey: guide to step-siblings.

3 + 5 + 9 (vernon) = 17

1 + 1 (jeonghan) = 2 (mingyu), 11 + 2 = 13

….and then 37.33 shows up…3 + 7 + 3 + 3 = 16 (could also be 3 + 7 + 3 = 13, the remaining 3 symbolizing the 3 units?)

So the next person’s number could be 1….which I have a feeling is Wonwoo because…1U and Mingyu is 2??? Or it could be Coup because #1 dad? Or it could be Woozi because he showed up in Vernon’s trailer which had the phrase “One less of a full revolution”???

If it’s just 37, then the 3+7 = 10,  the next number would 7 if they’re following that pattern. We have yet to see a performance unit member so I feel like one of them would the lucky 7, my bet is Dino. Because I love him. 7 is a lucky number as well, and closest to 8 as a prime number can get so it could be Minghao. 

The next prime number could also be 3 instead of 7. Which I feel like would be Jun because J-U-N?

i would follow you anywhere. when you can’t sleep at night, fold your body against mine and i will keep the slaughterhouse at bay. you are an entire bouquet of wildflowers, you could grow anywhere if people let you.

someday i will take you so far away no one can ever hurt you again. in sunshowers and empty fields and tiny cafes in france with fresh croissants. i will rest my fingertips on the bones in your hand. this is what invincibility feels like. you are happy and it isn’t going to go away.

i’m going to love you so hard the entire solar system will stop in its tracks to observe it. i will love you until there is no question, until i wake up in the mornings to smile at you sleepily before getting up to make breakfast and feed the cats.

you sparkle in the misty light, a thousand rainbows refracting. you are a bonfire & i am in need of your warmth.

A Cold Kiss

Bucky Barnes x Reader

Summary: just a bit o’ rainy cuddle and concerned Bucky

Word Count: 797

Warnings: fluff + swearing

A/N: just trying to get past a bit of writer’s block and had this idea because the weather here is sooo bad. Rescue P7 is coming soon, I promise. Enjoy 💛

I grunt in frustration as the hood of my jacket falls for the upteenth time.

“I can’t believe I spent ninety dollars on this thing.” I mutter, yanking it back up. The winds whips my cheek, making me shield my face to the side. My eyes catch sight of the tall bluejay-looking building, sighing with relief as I run into the doors.

“Hey, FRIDAY.’ I sigh.

“Good evening, Miss L/N.” I don’t bother to stop, I just walk to the elevator at the end of the large, futuristic lobby and climb in. After a few moments of red lasers being scanned through the small room, I request my floor and am up in no time.

“Buck, I’m home!” I yell as I exit the elevator. I throw my bag onto the floor beside me the moment I can. Bucky rounds the corner in a black tee-shirt and joggers, his hair in a loose bun.

“Where’ve you been?” he asks, his voice etched with concern. “You weren’t answering your phone.” I pull down my useless hood and shake my drenched hair out like a dog.

“Sorry,” I say, pulling off my coat, “the weather was so nice this morning, I figured I’d walk to my class. Big mistake, obviously.” Bucky frowns and walks over to me, planting a kiss on my cheek.

“You could’ve called. Tony would’ve sent a car. I could’ve come to get you.” he says softly. I smile at his concern.

“A little rain isn’t going to kill me.” I roll my eyes and begin walking across our shared floor, on my way to the bedroom.

“No, but it can sure as hell give you pneumonia.” Bucky points out. He trails behind me into our room, reaching behind the door for a towel. He wraps it around me, his arms firmly placed around my arms.

“I’m fine, Bucky.” I lean into his shoulder for a moment. “Just tired. Need a hell of a nap.” I pull away to take off my sneakers, which are completely ruined with water. I grumble in annoyance and sit down on the bed.

“Hold on, I’m on the phone with my therapist, let me hang up quick.” Bucky says, exiting the room. I lay down and let the exhaustion overtake my body, feeling the goosebumps on my arms. The weather was downright shitty, with wind slapping me across the face every chance it could and rain so cold it would soon start snowing. In May. Unbelievable.

Still laying down, I slip my damp jeans off my legs and sit there for a moment, looking at the ceiling drowsily. My combat class, though very beneficial, never seizes to kick my ass. And it doesn’t help that I feel shivers chilling me to the bone. Maybe I should’ve taken that towel. I lazily pull off my sweater as Bucky walks in. He smiles softly at the sight of me in nothing but my underwear, barely able to keep my eyes open. He walks over and sits next to me. He places his flesh hand on my thigh and nearly flinches.

“Jesus, doll, you’re freezing.” he says. I don’t respond to him, just reach for the duvet over my head. He gets up and moves in front of me, using his human hand to rub up and down my legs in attempt to warm me up. He gently kisses my kneecap, his lips moving up to my thighs and then downward to my calves. His mouth is chapped, but the dry skin itches gently on me along with his stubble, and it feels familiar. It feels like home.

His hands straighten out my knees from their bent position. It’s not lustful at all, and I can’t help but let my fingers run tiredly through his long hair, abandoning my attempt for the duvet. This works better anyway.

He drags his lips everywhere he can manage to warm me. His hot breath makes my stomach flutter despite how long we’ve been together. He still has that effect on me.

Long after I’ve fallen asleep, he stops and nudges me fully onto the bed. He rests my head gently on his pillow and pulls the duvet over me. He crawls in beside me and presses his chest against my back, his hands wrapping around me and resting on my bare hip bones. My wet hair tickles his face, but he doesn’t care. His thumb moves back and forth out of habit, and he feels absolutely wistful. It’s moments like these that make him think that maybe he isn’t as much of a monster as he believes. Why would I be with him if he was?

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favourite zack moments (8/?)

You know, a sane person would regret murdering someone more than being taken in by a line of crap.

Happy Halloween guys and ghouls!

I had the idea for this way back when the original webisodes were airing. I liked the idea of the whole school banding together to create a Halloween costume for their only normie, Jackson while Spectra and Operetta would be the only ones with any clue about his ‘true’ identity.

I’m actually super pleased with this one guys. It was a lot of hard work but I’m really happy now its done. Now to rest my tired bones! Stay spooky!!

flustered [v]

[i had to make a crush based smut; also kinda lengthy.]
- x -

Shawn and I were cooped up in his room as it started to rain outside. He sat on his bed, his back against the headboard as he strummed random yet relaxing sounds on his guitar. I swiveled around in the chair with my knees to my chest as I turned myself left and right by holding onto the desk in front of me. Random hums and words flew out of his mouth and I listened to his voice.

The guitar strumming stops and so does the humming. “I’m thinking of writing her a song.”

“Huh?” I asked.

“Alexa. I think I’m gonna right her a song when I ask her out.”


“What’s that supposed to mean?” He asks.

I shrug my shoulders and tap my fingers along the desk. “Nothing. Just…isn’t she a little out of your league?”

“No, I don’t think so.”

I feel my cheeks grow hot and I turn around the chair to face him. He now has his little journal in his hands as he scribbled down words that would be strung together to compose a song for Alexa, the girl he liked. It killed me knowing that he didn’t think of me in the way that I thought of him. He was oblivious to the fact that I was madly crushing on him.

“You’re so quiet.” Shawn says, snapping me out of my thoughts.

“I don’t want to disturb your song writing.”

“You wouldn’t.” He replied. “Besides, you’re my partner when it comes to these things.”

“I wish I were more.” I quietly whisper under my breath. Did he honestly expect me to help him write a song for my best friend, who he was going to ask out? It felt as if someone suck a dirty knife in my heart. You can do this, Olivia. You can do this.

I turn around in the chair and place my feet on the ground. He plays a few chords and I watch him again.

He’s handsome, obviously. Even when he doesn’t think he’s being watched, he carries on so artistically. I watch his fingers perform the art he was so passionate about on the strings. Some of the front curls of his hair were slightly hanging over his forehead, but he didn’t mind. It’s not like they blocked his eyes. He wore a gray shirt with sleeves that he pushed up to his forearms and black jeans.

My chest rises up and down as my heart beat quickens. I didn’t want to sit here and watch him write a song for someone who was wrong for him.

Shawn groans as he plays random strings that don’t compose the perfect sound to him. He sighs and sets the guitar down in its rest against the wall. “I’m dead.”

“What makes you say that?” I ask.

“She’s never going to go out with me,” he shakes his head, “she’s way out of my league.”

I swallow my pride, no matter how much it hurt, and face the music. “Shawn, you could get anyone you wanted to in the world. For a celebrity, I don’t think that leagues exist.”

“Yeah, you’re probably right. Do you think she’d go out with me for me?” He asks as he sits up against the headboard again.

“She would be a fool not to.” I get up from the chair and tug down the skirt of my dress a tad bit as I walk over to the record player by the window. My fingers flip through the multiple albums slowly as I took each one out, looked at the cover art, the track listing, and then placed them back in the wooden crate.

“Would you go out with me?” It’s an innocent question, but no doubt, I would go out with him. I gnaw on my bottom lip and my heartbeat quickens it’s pace for the umpteenth time since I was in his room. A small shrug comes from my shoulders as I continue flipping through the multiple albums.

“Hello? Earth to Olivia?” Shawn calls. He tossed a throw pillow at the back of my head gently and I turn around to him.

“Huh?” I call.

“Would you date me?” He asks me again. “Gee, you took too long, I was starting to think you’ve gone deaf.”

“I was thinking.” I say.

“So? Would you?” He looks at me with his eyes that I fell for, but they didn’t fall for me. His lips are slightly agape; the same lips that I constantly fantasizes about kissing over and over until my lips felt numb and sore. “You’re doing it again. You wouldn’t date me, I knew it.”

“I do!” I blurt out. “I mean, I would. Want to. Date you.”

“How come you took so long to answer me?”
“I had to think of your qualities.” I lie. There was nothing to think about - he was perfect. I was madly head over heels in love with him. Have been for longer than a year.

“What are they?” Shawn shrugs slightly.

I turn my back and continue to look at the albums. I pick up one that I had gifted him for his seventeenth birthday. Nick and Norah’s Infinite Playlist. I showed him the movie one night at my house and he loved it.

“Uh, you, there’s too many good qualities you have. Where would I begin?” I ask.

“Anywhere. Hey, put that album on.” Shawn says.

I stare at the album in my hands and deeply exhale. “You’re really wonderful at making an effort for someone…or something. You’re always busy, but you’ve still managed to make time for me. Your friends, I mean, you know, me being your friend and all. Sometimes you can forget things, but you always make up for them in the best ways. And you’re so passionate about everything, it’s unbelievable how passionate you are about things. I can’t help but imagine what you would be like if you ever loved someone. And you have the biggest heart that there is. You’re not afraid to put your heart on your sleeve, which I think is one of your bad qualities because that means you would get hurt easily and you don’t deserve to be hurt.” I turn around and glance at Shawn. He sits on the edge of the bed watching me talk and I turn back around. “There’s too much.”

“Continue.” Shawn says. I clear my throat and look at the couple on the cover art.

“You got looks down, so that’s a given. But personality, you have the best. I mean your jokes? Some are the cheesy das jokes you think everyone hates, but I love them. And then that time you made everyone a playlist because you heard the best album? That was, that was the sweetest thing you’d ever done for the people you cared about.

"But you also have some qualities that have a good intention, but they’re bad. You’re always unsure of things, but I think it’s just the perfectionist inside you. I’ve seen you play until your fingers bled. And sing until your voice cracked over and over until there was nothing but a whisper. You genuinely give things two hundred percent.”

Shawn’s quiet and I realize that I have spoken too much. He probably got freaked out and is about to make up some excuse about how I should go.

“I would date you.” He says.

I continued to gnaw on my bottom lip as he spoke. My back was still turned to him and my heart began to sink for an unknown reason. “Y-You would?”

“Of course. I’m drawn to your qualities, Olivia. The way you’re constantly in your own world, like it’s a private bubble. You say I have a big heart, but you forget that yours is even bigger. You’re extremely kind and go out of your way to please everyone and bring them happiness. There’s not a day where you aren’t smiling.” I hear the bed give a little groan and there’s footsteps. I close my eyes and feel Shawn’s breath on the back of my neck.

“You have some bad qualities, though.” He says. His hands reach around and he removes the album from my hands and slides out the vinyl and puts it on the turntable. “Like how you shiver when someone touches you.” Shawn runs the tips of his fingers up my arms, sending a wave of chills down my spine. “See?”

“But that’s not it,” he continues. “You’re oblivious.”

“In the bad way?” I ask as I gnaw more on my bottom lip.

“That bubble of yours,” Shawn brings his mouth by my ear. “You think you’re safe from being watched, but you’re not.”

I rest the back of my head against his chest as he continues to whisper in my ear. “I’ve fallen for your eyes the way you fell for mine, Olivia.”

“Shawn…” I say. I turn around and come face to face with his chest. I look down at his hand that was slowly sliding up my arm. I tilt my head back and meet his amber eyes. My heart beat even faster and I was sure it was ready to pump out of my chest.

“Why didn’t you say anything?” I whisper.
“The same reason you didn’t,” Shawn replied.

He slowly leaned in and the moment I wanted, the moment that I needed, was becoming a reality. Our lips touched and I placed my hands at his neck while he deepened the kiss. It was a long, hard kiss. When we came for air, we attacked each other’s lips feverishly. He gently bit onto my lower lip as he picked me up by my thighs and carried me on over to his bed.

My legs wrapped around his waist as he places his hands in my hair. Our lips moved in sync as the music played in the background. He had the house to himself for another hour and I knew this make out would escalate to what I wanted, or, what we both wanted. Shawn brings a hand to the bust of my dress and slowly unbuttons the first button.

“Is this okay?” Shawn mumbled against my lips.
“Uh huh,” I nodded.

He sat on the edge of the bed before slowly placing me on my back. Three buttons were undone before he broke the kiss. Oh no, he doesn’t want this anymore.

“I’ve wanted this for a really long time.” He whispers.
“Me, too,” I reply. I lean up and kiss his lips again.

Shawn’s hands go to my thighs and slowly slide up under my dress. Butterflies fly around in my stomach as I’m unsure of what to do. He places a hand at my hand and brings it to his belt buckle. I take the hint and begin to unbuckle his pants as he places his hand back under my dress. I feel his thumbs resting at my hip bones while his index fingers cheekily toy with the band of my underwear.

“Wait,” I say, “should we get under the covers?”
“I mean…if you want to?” He asks me.

I shrug my shoulders. “It’s whatever. It’s your room.”
“You’re the guest.”

I look at him and he looks at me and we both come to the decision of getting under the covers. Once under his comforter and bed sheets, we resume the positions we were previously in. He slides my underwear down my thighs and sits back as he slides them off my legs, tossing them to the floor. Shawn then grabs the back of his shirt and lifts it up over his head, removing the article of clothing before letting fall to the floor.

He crawls back on top of me and slides his pants off and onto the floor. My hands go into his hair as he is back on top of me and the kissing resumes. His body is between my legs and we continue to make out. I never knew he felt the same way about me; the feelings were mutual and it made me happy deep inside. A hand went under my dress and he slowly pulled the skirt of my dress up. “Can I?”

I nod my head. “Yeah.”

Shawn pulls my dress off over my head, leaving me in my lilac bra. He kisses me again and I pull back from the kiss.

“Do, uh, do you have something?” I ask.
“Huh?” He asks.

“Condom. Do you…have one?”
“Oh. Yeah. Yeah, I have one.”

Shawn rolls off of me and heads to the dresser and opened the top one. He then rolled back on top of me and reaches out to the dresser on my side. He opens it and I heard the slight crinkle of the packaging and he brings it to his mouth and gently tears the gold packet open. Shawn brings the condom out and then places his hand under the covers to roll it on.

“Um, are you? You know? Ready?” He asks me.
I nod my head. “Yeah. Yeah, I’m ready.”

Shawn leans in to kiss me the same time he slowly slides in me. I gasp just as our lips touch and he places a hand at my lower back and kisses me just as he’s inside me fully. My hands go to his hair and he slowly pulls out and it breaks the kiss.

“I’ve wanted this for a long time,” I whisper against his lips.
“I have, too,” he replies.

Our lips continue to brush against one another as he begins to thrust in and out of me. I lightly moan into his mouth and he placed a gentle hand at the side of my left thigh. I pant at the feeling of him going in and out of me. Shawn pants and it turns to a smile, then a soft chuckle.

“What?” I ask. Shawn shakes his head and just kisses me again. He accidentally bites on my lip as he thrusted into me a bit deeper.

He brings his hand from my thigh to my waist and places his other hand at the back of my neck. My nails lightly scratch at his back and he moans into my mouth. Shawn kisses my lips gently before resting his head in the crook of my neck. I close my eyes and my heart continues to race as Shawn rolls himself in me more and deeper. I moan out loud and claw lightly at his back. He kisses and nibbles at my skin.

“Shawn,” I pant. “Sh-Shawn.”

He kisses up my jawline and at my lips once more. Shawn places his hands at my wrists and, while looking me in the eye, takes my hands in his and interlocks our fingers.

“Is this okay?” Shawn asks me.
I nod my head. “Yeah.”
“Okay,” he whispers before leaning back in and kissing my lips. He pulls away for a brief moment to look down at himself entering me and a blush creeps onto my cheeks. He looks back at me and kisses at my lips again.

Shawn lets go of our hands and places a grip on my waist before lying on his back and making me on top. I break the kiss and look at him. He nods his head and leans up to kiss me once more.

He lies down and bites on his lip before closing his eyes. My hands rest on his abdomen and he places his hands at my waist, and slowly moves me. I roll my hips back and forth while the covers rest at the side of my thighs. My hair falls to the right side of my shoulder and I close my eyes, gasping at the feeling of him all the way inside me.

“You got it,” Shawn says. I open my eyes to find him staring into mine. I roll my hips a bit slower and he bucks his hips up into mine. I moan as he groans in pleasure.

“Shawn,” I moan. He sits up and I wrap my arms around his shoulders while he holds me in his strong arms. I softly continue rolling myself against him and Shawn lowly moans in my ear.

“Hey,” Shawn speaks. “Look at me.”

I rest my head against his shoulder and pick it up to look at him. His eyes flicker from my lips to my eyes and a smile arises on his lips. Shawn leans in and gently flicks his tongue against my bottom lip. I open my mouth and his tongue eases into my mouth and caresses over my tongue in a slow dance. Without breaking the kiss, he lies me onto my back again, making him on top once more.

He thrusts into me slower but with more of a roughness to it; a passionate roughness. My chest rises up and down and my stomach starts flipping. Sweat begins to line Shawn’s forehead and I break the kiss to moan out loud.

“Shawn,” I moan. “I’m gonna…”
“Hold it!” Shawn says over my moans. “I’m almost there.”

He thrusts faster and my moans turn into pants as my breath begins to hitch. Shawn’s thrusts get sloppy but he continues to go inside me. He leans down and kisses my lips, dipping his tongue into my mouth before biting my lower lip as he pulls back. He nods his head and grips onto my upper arms as he picks his head up and moans loudly.

“Shawn!” I moan raspy as my legs wrapped around his waist. He groaned out loud before collapsing onto my chest.

We both breathed loudly as the faint scent of sex lingered in the air. He kissed at my collarbones and lied on my chest for a brief moment before pulling out. He removes the condom and tied it up before tossing it into the trash can next to his bed.

“What was so funny?” I ask him. He looked at me and I looked at him. “You chuckled.”

“Oh,” he chuckles again. “I was gonna say something but I didn’t think you would have waned to hear it.”

“I want to hear it, if that’s okay.” I say.

“Okay.” He opens his mouth and intertwined our fingers. “I love you, Olivia.” I blush and bring the covers over my face. Shawn laughs and pulls the covers down before leaning over and kissing my lips again. “You get so flustered around me, it’s cute.”

like the sea around a shore // a Yousana fanmix [listen][Youtube]

01. On & On – Erykah Badu {If we were made in His image, then call us by our names/Most intellects do not believe in God but the fear is just the same}
02. My Girl – The Temptations {I’ve got sunshine on a cloudy day with my girl/I’ve even got the month of May with my girl}
03. Between The Minds – Jack Savoretti {So hear me, if you’re out there/Take these words and try to understand/That I want you, and I need you, to take the hand of a quiet man}
04. (Sittin’ On) The Dock Of The Bay – Otis Redding {Sittin’ here resting my bones/And this loneliness won’t leave me alone, listen/Two thousand miles I roam/Just to make this dock my home}
05. Can’t Take My Eyes Off Of You – Lauryn Hill {Pardon the way that I stare/There’s nothing else to compare/The sight of you leaves me weak/There are no words left to speak}
06. Così Celeste – Zucchero FEAT. Cheb Mami {She could belong to those who hope so/But in my heart… she’s mine}
07. Retrograde – James Blake {Suddenly, I’m hit/It’s the starkness of the dawn/And your friends are gone/And your friends won’t come/So show me where you fit}
08. How Can I Tell You – Cat Stevens/Yusuf Islam {How can I tell you that I love you, I love you?/But I can’t think of right words to say/I long to tell you that I’m always thinking of you/I’m always thinking of you, but my words/Just blow away, just blow away}
09. Heima – Sigur Rós {A thousand years, tears run down our cheeks/Gashes, which we suture together/And so move on}
10. The Book Of Love – Peter Gabriel {And I, I love it when you give me things/And you, you ought to give me wedding rings}

Worked Up

Originally posted by mukenope

Words: 1000+

Request: No

Rating: R

A/N: requests are open so please send some of your ideas in!!!

My hand was glued to the number two orange wooden pencil gripped tightly in my hand, the wooden tool with graphite stuffed in the middle of it with a pink eraser held above it gliding smoothly against the line paper set in front of me. A sigh leaves me lips as I write down the rest of my sentence before staring down at my science text book in front of me and reading the next question.

It was nights like this were I would just want to shut the textbooks and binders out in front of me and go into my bathroom, run the tub and lighting some candles and rest my aching sore bones into the warm steamy water and just forget about my grades that I have to keep up to make my family proud, or impress universities that I want to apply too. I just want forget about the constant nagging about my future.

Gently sitting my pencil beside me, I rise my hands in the air and let out a tired moan as I feel my limbs stretch and crack before I lean back and close my eyes. The silence of my room calming me down and somewhat lolling me to sleep before I hear the pine tree right next to my window rap against it.

I peel my eyes open slowly as a sigh rolls through my lips before I bend over and take my pencil back into my hand before re-reading the question again. The noise from the tree doesn’t stop but only comes down harder which is very weird since the sound of rain and hail cannot be heard.

And just as I hear a heavy knock pound against the glass of the window, sounding so heavy that it could shatter it, I’m jolting out of my comfy warm confines and rushing towards the glass. Instead of seeing leaves sticking to the window or the branches from the tree against the window, I see the one and only Calum Hood smiling up at my through the glass before waving his hand at me.

With a roll of my eyes I pull my ivory curtains further apart before pushing up the window frame, the crisp spring wind hitting my naked shoulders before I step back from the window and watch as Calum fits himself into my room.

“What the hell are you doing here?” I question while placing my hand on my pink polar bear pajama shorts and letting out a breathy laugh when I see him nearly fall over when trying to fish his left leg out of the window.

“What the hell am I doing here? Why the hell haven’t you answer any of my text messages?” Calum rushes out while stepping towards me, his bushy eyebrows nearly touching his hair line, only making me let out a sigh before shaking my head.

“I’m sorry, babe. I turned off my phone so I could finish my homework,” I explain while walking over to Calum and placing my thumbs on his concerning eyebrows.

“Why can’t you leave it on, I thought you were at a party or something,” Calum breathes out before placing his hands on top of mine, making me smile before shaking my head. “Me at a party? You really need to lower your standards of me.” I laugh before pulling away from Calum’s touch and making my way towards my bed filled with numerous papers, pens, and high lighters scattered everywhere.

“Also, whenever I have my phone on I can never get off of it, so that’s why I turn it off so it won’t distract me.” I say when tossing myself on my bed and grasping the pencil back up in my hand and picking at the eraser.

“But I was so worried!” Calum exclaims before walking towards me and falling on my binders, only making me let out a groan. “Will you shut up and get off my crap, I need this to get through school.” I rush out while shoving his shoulder, only making Calum grunt before sitting up and crawling towards me, papers crumbling below him as he sets himself next to me.

“You’re worrying about school too much, you need to relax.” Calum states while running his eyes down my tired frame. A sigh rolls through my lips before I toss the wooden pencil at the black binder in front of me and run my fingers through my hair.

“I can’t, I just need to finish two more questions and then we can talk for the rest of the night.” I say while turning and smiling at Calum, only making him huff and jut out his bottom lip before peering up at me.

“No, relax please.” Calum huffs before leaning over and placing soft kisses into my neck, a shiver running down my spine as I feel his plump lips continue to run along my warm skin.

“C-alum, just let me finish,” I whisper while leaning into his intoxicating touch that begins to bring me into serenity.

And it wasn’t like I didn’t want Calum to be here and comfort me when I’m stressed because I actually really needed it but, what I don’t need is him continuously placing his addicting kisses along my shoulders and neck so I can lose my train of thought and forget about my homework.

That’s one of the reason why I liked Calum, he would send me into serenity just by the way he places small pecks on my lips, nose, or shoulder. Or when his large hand would always find its way running up my arm, thigh, or back. Just those simple touches make me relax and I find that a good thing and bad.

Bad because it leads me from not focusing on what I should be doing, for example my homework. This was probably one of the reasons why I fell for Calum, it wasn’t only because of his beautiful smile and quirky personality, but it was the simplest things that would touch my heart, which would be my good reason.

“Come on baby, you’ve been worked up this whole entire week, let me help you relax, you’re so tense.” Calum breathes against my ear and I feel my body lean into him more before I feel his lips find their way pressing delicate kisses along my jawline.

“Cal,” I breath before I feel his lips leave my jawline and connect with my lips, the taste of cigarettes and cherry’s burns on Calum’s tongue as he uses it to swipe into my mouth, his tongue tangling with mine before pulling away and placing chaste kisses down my neck, the sound of papers and pen falling off the bed because of Calum’s movements.

“Don’t worry, I’ll make it quick so you can get back to your work,” Calum chuckles deeply against the nape of my neck which sends a chill down my back. With a nod of my head and a pinch to Calum’s side that basically states my consent, I feel Calum manuever his way down my body.

His lips kissing along my collar bones before I feel his fingers tug on my white tank top, sending it over my head to reveal my bare chest, his tongue running over his bottom lip before reaching down and sucking one of my nipples into his mouth, a moan immediately slipping from my lips as my hands tear away from Calum’s side and tug gently at his curls.

“Baby,” I moan before I feel Calum twirl my nipple in his mouth with his tongue before spitting it out and blowing on it, his other hand pinching my nipple between his fore finger and his thumb. A whine leaving my lips as Calum some how makes his way down my body while now giving twisting and tugging on both of my nipples.

“Sorry babe, I’m gonna have to use my hands for this now.” Calum states while tugging both of his hands off my now fully erect nipples and bringing them to run down my sides before stopping down at my cartoon pajama shorts.

“These are cute,” Calum laughs while staring up at me, I shake my head before gently tugging on Calum’s curls,“Calum get on with it.” I say before I hear him chuckle and his soft finger tips run against my skin as he tugs down my shorts. I feel Calum’s lips come in contact with my core just as he tosses my shorts somewhere across the room, my eyes never tearing away from Calum’s head between my legs.

“Smell so sweet,” Calum before running his tongue along my slit, my breath catching in my throat before I let a sigh of relief slip through. “Taste sweet also, guess I got a two for one deal.” Calum chuckles which only makes me roll my eyes, because of course Calum is going to crack a joke just before he does anything to pleasure me.

“Jesus Christ Calum just get on with it,” I say in exhaustion but all I get is a ‘shh’ in reply before I feel the pad of Calum’s thumb tear my panties away from my core and his warm tongue slip between my folds. My back immediately bucking off the bed as my fingers are gripped tightly in Calum’s hair.

I feel his tongue to wiggle in my heat before thrusting in and out of me, moans falling from my lips as I feel Calum’s hair tickle my thighs before I feel Calum tear one of his hands away from my knee and place it on my pelvic bone, his thumb coming in contact with my clit has a whine slipping through my lips.

“Fuck don’t stop,” I moan out while grasping onto Calum’s locks tightly, my eyes clamping shut as I feel my hips shot of my bed, and the faint sound of paper crumpling and pencils falling of my bed can be heard as I feel the familar pressure in my stomach build up.

“I’m gonna come soon, baby, more,” I whimper when tugging on Calum’s hair, my eyes opening slightly as I see Calum tear his thumb away from my panties and bring them to my core, I watch as his index finger thrusts into my core, making a high pitched moan leave my mouth a float into the air.

And with Calum’s tongue and finger both protruding my entrance while his thumb continues to run slobby figure eight’s on my clit, I feel my climax sitting on the edge as Calum continues to send pleasure throughout my whole entire body. Just by the warm feel of his tongue, the length of just his index finger, and the roughness from the pad of his thumb has my toe curling and another moan fall from my lips as I feel myself get pushed over the edge.

My eyes screw shut and my back is off the bed, the sound of slobby kisses being pressed to my inner thighs before being pressed along my body as my eyes peeling open and has me looking down at Calum as he continues to press kisses down my body.

“You alright now? Relaxed.” Calum says before placing a slobby kiss to my lips, a smug smile tugs on the corner of mine before I nod my head gently. “Thank you.” I say while running my hands down Calum’s arms before resting them at his biceps.

“Hey you were worked up, it’s the least I can do.”

[sorry for any spelling misktakes and shitty ending]

I’ve escaped the darkness of my mind for now which I am most grateful for. Mental illness weighed me down, I felt as though I was on the bottom of the ocean floor held down by the weight of the water upon my chest. I’ve been surrounding myself with beauty. It has brought me peace and helped to elevate my mood. Poetry and inspiring quotes, the sweet scent of flowers, perfumes, healthy comfort foods, good music, a bubble bath, wearing my black silk nightie, resting my achy bones. It has all helped me realign my mind and body with the power of my spirit.


Mike Chilton - Take Me Home (Hollywood Undead)

YEAH IT’S FINALLY DONE HELL YES.  I had to make this because if I ever heard a song with lyrics that described Mike Chilton more aptly than “reckless till the day I rest my bones”, I don’t remember it (but if I ever do I will definitely have to make a video with it).

It kind of looks a little bit like he died at the end.  OH WELL.  RIP in peace Mikey.