tonights mood is dropping the fuck out of college, packing up all my shit buying my car back from my parents and moving to a small town in the pacific northwest to restart my life as the owner of a small farm and a day job as a pastry chef
I have this unbelievably strong desire to just leave. To book a flight & go. Meet new people, make new friends, have no plans, take a new path & just restart. I love my life & I love my friends, but I feel like some serious change.
I’ve realised I feel really lonely & I’ve taken a lot of action to try to work through that with little return. It’s hard when you know yourself really well & know what you like & what fulfils you in life because then when you feel lonely there’s not much more you can do about it. I’ve always been patient, understanding & not super bothered by not having someone, but I’m reaching a point where I just want to find someone to settle down with & share my life with.
Frustrated is definitely the right word for my underlying energy of late.
In saying all that it’s been such an awesome last few months. I’ve met a number of new people & made some great new connections. I’ve had some awesome job experiences & opportunities & can’t wait to see where they take me. I’m in love with creating content, having fun behind the camera & doing something that allows me to completely give in to my creativity & express my thoughts.
Also, still incredibly annoyed by people’s (lack of) communication in this day & age. If you haven’t got the decency or respect to f*kn tell me your busy or don’t wanna talk then don’t think I’m gonna go wasting my time on you or holding up my plans for you honey. Oh & don’t you dare think ignoring messages is simply making me want you more, it’s only making me want to drop kick you off a bridge.