Language Mistakes | Etiquette Mistakes

Hey guys, first off Happy New Year! I can’t believe it’s already 2017. I had a pretty great year last year, but I’m much more excited for what this year will hold for me! Graduating from university, moving to Japan, etc.! It’s all very exciting.

My first post for 2017 is going to be on common mistakes that foreigners make when speaking Japanese and when they’re in Japan!

Language Mistakes:

  1. Particles - I think a lot of Japanese learners struggle with particles and more often than not, end up using the wrong particle in their sentence. は and が are often misused by non-native speakers. When は is used the meaning depends on the context that it was used in (it usually has multiple possible meanings and you just have to figure out what the meaning is depending on the type of situation it was used). For example: 私は魚です can mean “I’ll have fish” when speaking to a waiter or “I am a fish” in response to a question about yourself. As for が, it can be used to exclude other possibilities and to lock in your answer so 私が魚です means “I am a fish”. Another example is the overuse of と which means “and” but it can only be used to connect two nouns together. If you wanted to connect multiple nouns together you would have to conjugate and use て form not と.

  2. Using the word ‘あなた’ for “you” - in Japanese they don’t use pronouns such as 'you’ when addressing each other, this concept is a little hard for some Japanese learners to grasp and they use あなた in Japanese, just like you would use “you” in English, but actually it’s kind of rude to refer to someone as あなた in Japanese so please try to refrain from using it.

  3. Intonation and Nuances - intonation and nuances are important in Japanese, for example there are some words that have different meanings but are pronounced the same. 箸「し」means chopsticks and 橋「は」means bridge. If you want to say chopsticks you should place more emphasis on “は”, and if you want to say bridge you should place more emphasis on “し”. Another example is “ええ”, depending on what kind of intonation you use it in, it can mean “yes”, “what?!”, or “must I?”. Some Japanese learners speak in a monotone voice but it’s important to use intonation to properly convey your message across.

Etiquette Mistakes:

  1. Taking a phone call on a train or bus - making or answering a phone call and having a conversation is a common mistake that foreigners make in Japan. Being loud in public transport is rude in most countries but Japan takes this especially seriously, so don’t get caught out committing this social faux pas!

  2. Blowing your nose in public - this might seem strange to us foreigners who are quite used to openly blowing our noses in public and hearing others do it (all throughout my schooling life I’ve had class mates blow their noses in the class room so I’m quite used to this), but in Japan you won’t see this happening. So try to avoid this as much as possible.

  3. Not removing your shoes - I think a lot of people know about this by now, but when you enter someones home you have to remove your shoes. They’ll usually have quest slippers for you to use so you don’t have to walk around barefoot. Some Japanese restaurants might ask you to remove your shoes too, so make sure you’re always wearing matching socks ;)
neophyte-redglare replied to your photo “i went to the aquarium with @kishona and @neurogabu the other day and…”

yea they get big!!

see, for some reason i’d assumed they were all smallish, because some varieties of cuttlefish are fairly small and i guess those were the only ones i’d really seen? so i saw this big friend and was like “!!!!!!! GET A PIC OF THE FRIEND WITH AN ACEY FOR SCALE” and i’m so glad i did tbh. i love this fish

hideous-fish could you please elaborate a little more as to why you think the relationship between Liz and Tom was abusive and controlling even before Tom knew Liz was on to him? I would love to hear your thoughts on that. Thanks!

pato1025, i hope you don’t mind i moved this to a new thread so we wouldn’t be filling people’s dashes with a massive wall of text. Here is my response ( to roominthecastle‘s post in reply to imyourplusone‘s questions about Red’s monologue in 2.19 ( for reference. Sorry it’s taken me so long to get back to you. I’m still in brain fog land so I’m sorry if this is not as coherent as it should be. actualgothicheroine, maybe you could come over and share some of your thoughts about this as well? you articulated it so well in that post about the differences between Red and Tom and what Tom’s done to Liz emotionally (here:

No, I don’t mean that he hit her or shouted insults at her around the clock. That would be much more easy to recognize and Liz wouldn’t have defended him and stuck by him so long if it was the kind of abuse that everyone sees in soapy movies. It’s the kind of emotional manipulation that’s concentrated but very hard to see happening to you, even in retrospect.

Tom was good at showering her with support and affection when Liz was doing something he approved of or didn’t care about. He would surround her with praise and cloying affection in this way that was overbearing and calculated, playing the “good loving husband” role for the courting/amends/positive reinforcement phases of their relationship. 

then, when she was doing something he did want or needed to steer her away from, he would withdraw all support. He would call her secretive and withholding. He would put on shows of exaggerated hurt and wounded feelings and make himself the wounded party that she was just absolutely crushing with her cold, willful behavior. He didn’t like to see her making decisions that weren’t ones he initiated. If she wasn’t cooperating with him, he made himself into the biggest road block he could for her and laid the blame at her feet. 

between these two things, he made his approval or his withholding of his approval the biggest most important things in their lives. He made his needs huge and all encompassing in their marriage and left no room for Liz’s needs to be met. If he was satisfied they were both happy – and he really pushed that on Liz, he told her over and over how happy they were and how great it was that they were going to be a family regardless of her obvious misgivings, there was no room for her worries because he needed to reinforce the idea that her compliance = happy and wonderful life – and when he was not satisfied with her behavior he made them both miserable. 

That’s not a healthy, balanced relationship, that’s a system of abuse an manipulation where one person has all the power and the other person is always scrambling to keep up and “make things right again.” That’s a system where the controlling partner keeps the other person feeling like the controlling partner’s discomfort is their personal failing, and that since “they’re so nice and kind to me at other times” they must really, really deserve it when the controlling partner is cold to them or belittles them or casts blame on them. They buy into the idea that the manipulator is “really a good person who supports me” so it becomes impossible for them to tell if that criticism is deserved or if it’s just the partner who is manipulating feeling the need to be in control, because their frame of reference is so skewed. The partner with the power’s perspective becomes the only possible perspective for them both, through constant positive and negative reinforcement.  And the important thing to remember is that for the person exerting the power, both the negatives and the positives are more about the control of their partner, not about genuine, loving support.

When Liz got busy and wanted to slow down on the adoption in the very earliest episodes, he kept making appointments and kept pushing her about it anyway, he wasn’t interested in an agreement between equal partners in a marriage, he was interested in making what he wanted to happen, happen. A baby would certainly have redirected her attention, and when they talked about time off from her job to look after the baby, he seemed to imply that he expected her to be the primary caregiver – not a bad thing in a healthy relationship but a very bad thing if it’s being used as a tool to keep her compliant.

When Liz had her suspicions about Tom and had found the box but before finding out about the assassination at the Angel Station hotel, she dreamed of him strangling her, not shooting her, so obviously she was afraid of him and not only that, found him “smothering.” She obviously had misgivings enough to call a halt to the adoption in 1.13 even though she believed in his innocence at that time, since it was before the damn hippo toy in 1.17.

When Liz confronted him about the box and its contents, Tom accused her, denied it was his and told her flat out that “this is on you Liz, every evil influence in our life comes from you” and by the end of 1.06 and on through to 1.17 Liz was the one apologizing to Tom, for her doubt and for her job and Tom didn’t back down from his stance that she was the one being “selfish” and difficult and that “he had no secrets and she just has so many” – he kept up the guilting and the lying and he kept twisting her reality back around so that she was the one in the wrong, and that is what’s called gaslighting. Doing something, lying about it and consistently blaming the other person until they accept that it was their fault.

another big thing for me is that Liz’s behavior around Tom, even at their “happiest” was extremely different than it was around her colleagues and Red. It wasn’t just playing the cuddly, coupley role, she was far far less confident, she spoke softly, she used differential phrasing and her posture was always soft and hunched. She was always trying to be more pleasing, girlish, appeasing and non-threatening towards Tom and it always felt very awkward and forced.

So while some site the physical confrontations between them as what makes him the bad guy… well, it sure doesn’t make him a great catch and his lack of regret or hesitation is chilling, but I don’t think of that as the main kind of harm Tom has done Liz. I’ve actually always felt that Tom was emotionally abusive and controlling, even in that time period between 1.06 and 1.16 (when he killed Jolene and the Cowboy, before the first time he hit Liz in 1.17) when we weren’t even sure he was a double agent. Because of all the elements of emotional manipulation and behavior mod i saw in Tom’s treatment of Liz and its consequences in their relationship.

The thing that still confuses me is that now the guys in charge, JB and JE don’t seem to think that what they wrote was abuse at all. The marriage of the Keens in S1 was a classic, terrifying horror story of manipulation in an emotionally abusive marriage and yet they don’t seem to have intended to write that at all. They don’t want us to see that in what they’ve written. They want us to believe that Tom did it all out of love and not a need for control and flattery – and who knows, maybe he did love her in whatever way he was able, but that doesn’t change the facts of his emotional manipuation. I don’t know. I can’t decide if it’s worse if they wrote it on purpose and changed their minds or if they wrote it accidentally and just don’t see it.

I saw nothingeverlost post something recently about how the creators of the OUAT show say they didn’t mean to imply XYZ things about certain highly problematic characters (i’m not in the fandom anymore but even i knew they were problematic) but that Authorial Intent doesn’t in in any way negate the fact that that is what they wrote. Just because someone says “well i didn’t mean to be sexist” or “but i wasn’t trying to write abuse” that doesn’t change the fact that the finalized narrative you put in the public eye are full of EXACTLY those things.

I mean, for the people who ship Keen2 (who have probably already blocke me, lbr), ship whatever the hell you want, i don’t care. I just want everyone to be aware of the hugely problematic elements of Tom’s behavior. Those are the kind of warning signs to know and to look out for, because this kind of emotional manipulation can sneak up on ANYONE no matter how smart they are, and it is so so hard to A) get out of a situation like this because these kind of controlling personalities can get nasty when their “misunderstood hero” narrative is challenged and B) once you are away, undo all the programming that these emotional manipulations can leave you with. So my thing is basic “ship the problematic thing knowing and embracing that it’s problematic, not ship it thinking it’s a basically misunderstood fairytale”

I shall never forget his scream, or the look he gave me”

Sometime during 1910, Albert Fish, responsible for the murders and cannibalism of 9 known victims, was said to have met a mentally handicapped 19-year-old man by the name of Thomas Kedden while working in Delaware. Soon after, the two became involved in a sadomasochistic relationship. When 10 days had gone by, Fish brought Kedden over to a secluded location, where he was tortured for 2 weeks. The killer later recalled that he had planned to murder him, cut up his body, and take him home with him, but realized that the hot weather would speed up the decomposition process and therefore make it easier for him to get caught. Instead, Fish resorted to mutilating Kedden’s genitals, pouring peroxide on the area, and covering it with a vaseline-smeared handkerchief. He then proceeded to leave him a $10 bill, kiss him, and abruptly leave. Fish claimed he never heard from him again.

Swe: I could never see well, so I squinted a lot – I guess this made me look scary.

Fin: I saw him once alone and he wasn’t squinting – he wasn’t so scary, then! We were friends ever since!

I found the goggles totally be accident! I guess a human dropped them. I tried to look through them, but they made everything blurry for me! I was going to leave them, but I decided to show Swe, first. He put them on, and then he could see clearly! It’s really cool!

Swe: Ya, I know they belong’ to humans. It’s alright.

Fin: There is no such thing as Merfolk eye doctors, sadly. And we sleep in rock formations and caves along the sea floor! We can’t rest in the open or something scary might come along and find us. Arctic merfolk sleep in ice caves, and tropical sleep in coral reefs! 

((Thank you so much! PS full view to see this better. -Apple))

Den:  When it comes to food, we have competition with white-beaked dolphins and killer whales when they’re around. Augh and seals! You don’t even know what jerks seals can be until you both have your eyes on the same fish…

We don’t see too many sharks in our waters - we are cold-water merfolk, after all! And most sharks are in warmer or deeper water. If we happen to go north, we have to be careful of Greenland sharks. They look fat and stupid, but they can be trouble if we get too close.  Blue sharks can be a bother if they wander too close into our waters, but they are generally pelagic (preferring the open ocean). We’re in trouble if there’s a bunch of ‘em and they are hungry, though! We do run into Porbeagles fairly regularly, but if we stay out of their way (AKA leave the area) they don’t both us… but they are fast buggers that can give you a scare when they start charging! We also see basking sharks, but they are no problem at all! They don’t what we eat, and they don’t eat us! They are actually a lot of fun to hang around during lazy afternoons. I followed one around for a few days and named him Rollo. I liked Rollo. 

Jellyfish can be a problem. There are Lion’s Mane Jellies in our waters, and we have to watch out for those. They aren’t deadly, but they can be painful. Ice got stung by one when he was a smallfry and cried for hours. It was sad and adorable

Sirens, no. Not in our waters, thank goodness. They are in the Aegean Sea, though!

Killer whales pose a  threat to us if we’re not careful. Sharks have been known to hunt us - especially in warmer waters. Otherwise, our biggest predator is humans

Ice: *thpppbt* They are mean

Nor: A lot of our time is taken up by looking for food or traveling; however, we enjoy playing with the local marine life.

Ice: We like racing the young orca when they are around or wrestling with seals.

Nor: Den likes to play hide-and-seek and be a general pest to the rest of us. Some of the other local merfolk like to go closer to the surface and play tricks on humans – Den has gone on a handful of occasions with Fin. I like to find basking sharks and just laze around with them.

Ice: I like to look for treasure.

Nor: Yes, humans drop all manner of things into our waters.

( ask-kittua ) [ In reference to this RP ]

All handmade! I had Gon pick out the best stuff for it. Apparently he’s really pro at drying fish and making jerky out of it, and didn’t let me do anything. …but anyway, all we need to do it heat it up and stuff.

I also brought a movie for us to sit down and watch while I do the petting thing. Uh, y’know, I guess if you like Disney, anyway.

Zodiac signs for dummies

Aries: an emotional ram leader

Taurus: a trustworthy bull dickhead

Gemini: smart but childish

Cancer: a loyal emotional crab

Leo: a stubborn, optimistic lion

Virgo: a nosy Sherlock Holmes-like character

Libra: a seemingly strange person with good intentions 

Scorpio: a loyal yet jealous scorpion

Sagittarius: independent and unemotional 

Capricorn: kind conceited, and responsible goat-fish 

Aquarius: clever and rebellious 

Pisces: a compassionate and emotional fish

Women In Museum History: Francesca LaMonte

Assistant Curator of Ichthyology Francesca Lamonte, who worked at the Museum from 1920 to 1962 and specialized in marlins and swordfish, was Ernest Hemingway’s go-to fish authority, and according to a 1952 edition of The Long Island Press, a “general big-game whiz bang.”

LaMonte joined the Museum two years out of college, beginning her career translating scientific papers from French, German, Italian, Spanish, and Russian into English before being promoted to curator nine years later. During her time at the Museum, LaMonte became one of the world’s leading experts on big game fish and was a key player in the founding of the International Game Fish Association (IGFA), a group dedicated to game fish conservation and responsible sport-fishing. The IGFA, which had its first home here at the Museum, still exists today.

As both a curator and member of IGFA, LaMonte participated in a number of ichthyological expeditions. Her specialty was game fish like marlins and swordfish, species about which she published numerous scientific papers. LaMonte was also a prolific writer of game-fishing guides that were acclaimed best-sellers amongst the angling set,and penned vivid accounts of Museum expeditions. In a 1940 issue of Natural History, she described a trip to collect swordfish off of northern Chile:

Just three days through the air from the heat of a Miami June, and we are in the chill of a West Coast winter. Two fishing boats stand in the harbor of Tocopilla waiting for our expedition. All around them the water is alive with anchovies, and the neighboring boats are obscured by flocks of birds swooping down to feed on the small blue-and-silver fishes.

LaMonte’s work as a scientist and writer earned her admiration from some literary lions. Read more about it on the Museum blog

When random people need to tell me they’re gonna pray for me it’s just a selfish act. Like if you’re gonna pray go ahead but think about what response you’re fishing for when you tell me.

1.) Looking at you has made me so sad I need to believe my prayers will soon end the way you exist. And most of the time I need you to agree my prayers will do this.

2.) I want gratitude for not wishing you ill?

Their self satisfaction makes me want to vomit.