It’s a combination of things, but mostly, I think people really need to reflect on what they’re doing to attempt to support Johannah’s memory. I get it, I totally do, just wanting to do something to prove that they care.
But there is a line, in which a lot of people are crossing, where they are going to force a still grieving family to publicly acknowledge their way of support. Which could bring on a whole set of variables that make the family themselves uncomfortable.
Running charity drives (not in her name but in her memory), supporting Louis and Steve’s song, making edits, speaking positively of her legacy, and treating everyone with kindness are things that are behind the line.
Anything that addresses the family directly, and would result in the family having to provide some type of public, or even private response, is past the line.
you’re transitioning and your name change has been such a hassle that you pretend to not care about what name ppl call you then someone genuinely and openly respects your name and identity then you almost get sad because you forgot there are even good ppl who embrace your transition
You deserve to be with people who respect your pronouns.
You deserve to be with people who respect your name. You deserve to be with people who respect your gender. You deserve to be with people who respect you.
Tomorrow is Valentines Day and that’s a hard day for a lot of people. This is a friendly reminder that being trans does not make you unlovable in any way.
Romantic trans people: you can find a partner who will respect your name, identity, pronouns, and your body. Don’t settle for less.
Aromantic trans people: there are people out there, if you want a close friendship, who will respect who you are. Don’t settle for less. And not wanting a partner is okay! Being Aromantic is great, and so is being trans, and no one can take that away from you.
Acceptance is your aunt asking what’s up when she sees you struggle in the ‘female’ clothing department. Respect is her not saying anything and asking questions to educate herself so she can take action to do her best not to offend you.
Acceptance is your nan not saying anything whilst you admit things about your mental health and sexuality to her, then telling you she loves you no matter who you are. Respect is her using your name in secret and continuing to try and get your pronouns right, no matter how hard she finds it.
Acceptance is your uncle sitting silently and attempting to understand your news on your gender and name change whilst you talk about it. Respect is him going home to his family and educating them on the news, and changing the way they refer to you.
Acceptance is your family trying to understand everything you’ve told them. Respect is your family asking questions to make sure they don’t hurt you by accident, and trying hard to keep that from happening.
Because at the end of the day, it turns out your biological parents made the choice to hurt you, but your family are choosing not to and you need that. You need that to keep going, to find the hope to go on. To try and reach the place you see for yourself.
relearning what acceptance and respect feels like
i want to give a hug trans boys who want to cut their hair short and present in a more typically ‘masculine’ way but cannot because of their legal guardians
you’re valid and i care about you. you’ll get to present the way you want in the future. if someone doesn’t respect your name or pronouns they are in the wrong. it is transphobic as hell to not call someone their correct name and pronouns on purpose because they don't “look like” what they think people of that gender should look like. and I’m so so sorry if someone does that to you.