residential-zone

jojo2k6  asked:

So apparently it was not common in the US to shower more than once a week until the 1940s, around the same time people started using deodorant regularly. Are the regulars of Lackadaisy all radiating a personal funk that everyone is too polite to talk about?

Hmm.  Interesting topic.

To start with: yep. People were probably dirtier and smellier in the past, on average. Everything was.  Cigarette smoke permeated the walls and rugs and upholstery of every interior and surely clung to everyone’s clothing.  Coal dust and smoke lingered in the air outside where businesses were beset with scant environmental regulation, and where industrial and residential zones were nestled in together.  All sorts of noxious things were dumped into the rivers, and considerably more people did hard, manual labor and factory work in conditions we’d regard as deplorable now…but which probably seemed pretty normal to them.  If the sweaty dock worker next to you hadn’t bathed since last Saturday, you probably didn’t notice or care, because you hadn’t either, and the body of water you were standing over smelled a whole lot worse.

Having opened with that, though, there are a lot of adages still floating around out there about how little people bathed in the past and how rank they must have been as a result, but there’s a fair amount of misunderstanding, untruth, and unaccounted for cultural change mixed into those ideas too.  So, here are some things to consider about the early 20th century-

- If your criteria for ‘bathing’ is limited to being in a full size bathtub with running water, standing under a showerhead or soaking, then yes, bathing was comparatively infrequent.  It is not generally true, however, that people didn’t wash and otherwise put effort into keeping themselves clean.  This might involve jumping in a stream or spring, going at it sponge-bath style, ladling water over themselves in a small tub, or routinely cleaning up with the pitcher and bowl washstand found in most any bedroom where a sink was not within reach.

- Whether or not you bathed regularly in a bathtub or shower would depend a whole lot on where you lived.  Bear in mind that extensive water/sewer systems, indoor plumbing and the convenience of a dedicated bathroom in one’s house containing a sink, toilet and tub were still new developments in the early 20th century.  My house, for example, was built ~1910 in a place just outside the city. Originally, it had an outhouse in the yard and no bathrooms inside.  Fitting it with bathrooms and plumbing would have been a big deal and a big expense - not everyone was able to hop on that modernity bandwagon right away.  For many, submerging themselves in water still required filling up a copper basin with buckets lugged in from an outdoor pump and heated on a stove.  It wouldn’t be very practical to do that more than once a week.

- It is certainly true that people didn’t wash their hair as often, but again, it doesn’t mean they didn’t take pains to care for their hair. Our modern idea of liquid shampoo didn’t come about until around 1927.  Lye soaps in powder form that were previously available tended to be very harsh and conditioners as we know them weren’t around to mitigate the effects, so washings had to be infrequent if you didn’t want to chemically alleviate yourself of your locks.  Washing with oils, vinegar and eggs (or some combination thereof) was a common approach too.  Brushes and talc were used to control grease build-up between washes. Hairstyling in the 1920s also involved a lot of pomades and waxes. It’d generally stay put for a while and, as you might imagine, getting all of it out of your hair would be something of a chore. “I’m washing my hair that night” sounds like a sarcastic cop out on a social engagement, but it wasn’t always such a weak excuse.  
Arguably, nowadays, we wash our hair a bit too often, though….which brings me to the next thing.

- Advertising holds enormous cultural sway, and in the 20’s and 30’s, the collective standard of what ‘clean’ is changed rather profoundly. As magazines flourished and radio became a staple of existence, people were pelted with ads for soaps, detergents, deodorants, antiperspirants and other hygiene products.  Many of them were new revelations…and many of them were inventing problems to sell cures for, generating new levels of self-consciousness and cashing in on shame.  Listerine, previously better known as a floor cleaning agent and treatment for certain sexually transmitted infections, famously launched a melodramatic crusade against halitosis - a plague the people had not even realized they were so ruinously afflicted with beforehand.  The term ‘soap opera’ comes from soap and cleaner manufacturers buying up all of the daytime radio broadcast advertising space during which drama serials aired.  People were newly expected to clean in certain ways at certain intervals with certain products.

Cleanliness is important, of course - there’s definitely an aspect of social courtesy to it, and scientifically based bar-raising on that front has done much to minimize death from infection, but to an extent, you might also say the 1920s marked the emergence of a sort of consumer driven, culturally normalized neurosis about it.

Death by Paperwork

A Pam from HR story
Post Supergirl 2x15

Agent Alex Danvers sat in her office, looking meekly at the huge stack of paperwork in front of her. “I, um, have to fill all that out to get reinstated?”

“In triplicate.” Pam folded her arms across her chest and dared Agent Danvers to object. When nothing was forthcoming, she reached for the first sheath of papers, brandishing it for a moment before slapping it down on the desk. “Incident report for a brawl at a local nightclub.”

“We were…”

Another set of papers smacked onto the desk, interrupting the agent’s attempt at an explanation. “Discharge of a firearm in said brawl.”

Her glare halted Danvers’ finger in mid-air, and she kept the glare up until the hand returned to the agent’s lap. “Abuse of a prisoner in custody.” Alex actually flinched as another set of papers hit the desk. “Insubordination.”

“Unauthorized removal of DEO weaponry from the premises.”

“That gun is mine! I called dibs!”

Pam continued as if Agent Danvers hadn’t spoken. “Unauthorized use of DEO weaponry by a civilian. Sexual harassment of an NCPD officer.”

On a roll, Pam ignored the shocked look on Alex’s face and her “I was off-duty” protest. Smack. “Illegal use of explosives in a residential zone.”

“What?”

“Collusion with a known Cadmus agent (Father).” Pam picked up the last, heavy stack of papers and gazed at them lovingly. She had only been able to file them once before, and also on the behalf of one Agent Alex Danvers. She was going to be legend in Washington. “And finally, Unauthorized Space Launch and Failure to Log a Flight Plan per NASA regulation 47390-13-86.”

Alex finally looked defeated, and she brushed her hair back behind her ear as she pulled a cheap ballpoint out of the cup on Pam’s desk. She grimaced as she tried to write, shaking the pen a moment before trying another pen. “I’ll leave you to it, Agent Danvers,” Pam said curtly. “I need a cup of coffee.”

She walked briskly out of the room and around the corner to find J'onn waiting for her. “How’s it going? Is our agent learning her lesson?” he asked with a fond smile.

“I think so,” she replied with a mischievous grin. “But I think she has missed some mandatory sexual harassment training, and I’ve signed her up for refresher course on safe handling and proper procedures for DEO weaponry.”

J'onn laughed. “If this doesn’t teach her the error of her ways, nothing will. Now what do you say I buy you a nice latte from that new cafe up the street? I think Agent Danvers will be plenty occupied for the next few hours.”

a short summary of my day

Context: I was visiting one of my best friends I haven’t seen in a while who lives about an hour away. Plan was to leave around 10:30 and get there a little before lunch.

  • First I managed to misplace my Fitbit. It’s annoying because I remembered setting it aside to wear it, and then just…could never relocate it. Minor annoyance in the grand scheme of things, but really set the tone for the day.
  • Go to my car around 10:25 and I have a fucking $40 parking ticket for “parking longer than 2 hours in a residential zone” and “expired parking permit stickers.” Except… I renewed my annual parking permit in October and was told they no longer issued stickers and instead my tags would be registered in their electronic database. So…of course they were expired.
    • Because my city is The Worst™ and stuck in the year 1992, I have no written confirmation of my registration. Now I’m paranoid my renewal never actually went through and I’ve just been lucky not getting tickets for the past seven months, but…
    • It’s a holiday weekend so I have to wait till Tuesday to call the city to check which means
    • I can’t park anywhere that’s actually convenient until this is cleared up because I don’t want another ticket ughhh.
  • Now super annoyed, I get in my car and realize I’m almost out of gas. Decide that even though it would make me ~20 minutes late, I’d go to Wawa to get gas so I can treat myself to a caffeinated beverage as well to help soothe the frustration of the ticket.
  • Get to Wawa, realize I don’t have my license or any of my credit cards on me since I totally forgot I moved them to a different purse for work on Thursday, have to drive home to get them, and also sadly forfeit my desperately-needed morning coffee.
  • Go to a gas station that was much cheaper and along the way, BUT had a massive line so ran even later.
  • Actually did have a v nice visit with my friend so glad I went even if I was cranky.
  • Drive home, realize I REALLY need caffeine so FINALLY I go to my Wawa. Order a beverage…and then they were out of the proper-sized lids and were scrambling around trying to figure out what to do for ten minutes. BUT it was made better bc they ultimately just remade my drink in a larger sized cup so HOORAY more for my money even if it took forever?

Anyway that’s been my day and I am finally home so I think I’m going to just drink the last beer I have in my fridge and watch TV and hope the universe stops picking on me tomorrow. 

anonymous asked:

OMG. At least I was told, it is illegal to some level to bury your dead pets in the back yard in residential zoning and I heard you can get fined for it. Idk anyone who actually has done that before near me.

Dont Tell Nobody 

2

Two Amazing Pioneering Black Women Who Made Great Contributions In the Scientific Field of Physics

Willie Hobbs Moore (1934-1994)- (pictured above) was the first African-American woman to earn a Ph.D. in physics.

A native of Atlantic City, New Jersey, Moore moved to Ann Arbor, Michigan, in 1952 to attend the University of Michigan. She earned a bachelor’s degree in electrical engineering from the University of Michigan in 1958 and her master’s degree in 1961.[2] While working toward her doctoral degree, she also held positions at technology firms in Ann Arbor including KMS Industries and Datamax Corporation.[3] She also held engineering positions at Bendix Aerospace Systems, Barnes Engineering, and Sensor Dynamics, where she was responsible for the theoretical analysis.[4] Moore completed her thesis, A Vibrational Analysis of Secondary Chlorides, under the supervision of Samuel Krimm at the University of Michigan in 1972.[5] This work was applicable to important questions in the vibrational study of macromolecules.[1]

After receiving her doctorate, Moore worked at the University of Michigan as a research scientist until 1977, continuing spectroscopic work on proteins. In the five years following her dissertation, she published more than thirty papers with Krimm and collaborators.[5] She was hired by Ford Motor Company in 1977 as an assembly engineer.[6] Moore expanded Ford’s use of Japanese engineering and manufacturing methods in the 1980s.[7][8] In 1991, Ebony magazine named Moore as one of their 100 “most promising black women in corporate America.”

Moore was a tutor, a member of Links Inc., a member of the Bethel African Methodist Episcopal Church, and the chairwoman of the Juanita D. Woods Scholarship Fund. She was married to Sidney L. Moore, who taught at the University of Michigan’s Neuropsychiatric Institute, for thirty years. They had two children Dr. Dorian Moore, MD. and Christopher Hobbs Moore, RN. Willie also had three grandchildren Sydney Padgett, William Hobbs Moore, and C. Jackson Moore [3]

Moore died of cancer in 1994.

Source: Wikipedia

Shirley Ann Jackson (August 5, 1946)- (pictured below Mrs. Moore) is an American physicist and the eighteenth president of the Rensselaer Polytechnic Institute. She received herPh.D. in nuclear physics at the Massachusetts Institute of Technology in 1973, becoming the first African-American woman to earn a doctorate at MIT

Jackson was born in Washington D.C. Her parents, Beatrice and George Jackson, strongly valued education and encouraged her in school.[5] Her father spurred on her interest in science by helping her with projects for her science classes. At Roosevelt High School, Jackson attended accelerated programs in both math and science and graduated in 1964 as valedictorian. [5]

Jackson began classes at MIT in 1964, one of fewer than twenty African American students and the only one studying theoretical physics. While a student she did volunteer work at Boston City Hospital and tutored students at the Roxbury YMCA.[5] She earned her bachelor’s degree in 1968, writing her thesis on solid-state physics.

Jackson elected to stay at MIT for her doctoral work, in part to encourage more African-American students to attend the institution.[5] She worked on elementary particle theory for her Ph.D., which she completed in 1973, the first African-American woman to earn a doctorate degree from MIT. Her research was directed by James Young.[5] Jackson was also the second African-American woman in the United States to earn a doctorate in physics

As a postdoctoral researcher of subatomic particles during the 1970s, Jackson studied and conducted research at a number of prestigious physics laboratories in both the United States and Europe. Her first position was as a research associate at the Fermi National Accelerator Laboratory in Batavia, Illinois (known as Fermilab) where she studied hadrons. In 1974, she became visiting scientist at the European Organization for Nuclear Research (CERN) in Switzerland. There she explored theories of strongly interacting elementary particles. In 1976 and 1977, she both lectured in physics at the Stanford Linear Accelerator Center and became a visiting scientist at the Aspen Center for Physics.

At one time her research focused on Landau–Ginsburg theories of charge density waves in layered compounds, and has studied two-dimensional Yang-Mills gauge theories and neutrino reactions.

Jackson has described her interests:

I am interested in the electronic, optical, magnetic, and transport properties of novel semiconductor systems. Of special interest are the behavior of magnetic polarons in semimagnetic and dilute magnetic semiconductors, and the optical response properties of semiconductor quantum wells and superlattices. My interests also include quantum dots, mesoscopic systems, and the role of antiferromagnetic fluctuations in correlated 2D electron systems.[5]

Jackson joined the Theoretical Physics Research Department at AT&T Bell Laboratories in 1976, examining the fundamental properties of various materials. She began her time at Bell Labs by studying materials to be used in the semiconductor industry.[7] In 1978, Jackson became part of the Scattering and Low Energy Physics Research Department, and in 1988 she moved to the Solid State and Quantum Physics Research Department. At Bell Labs, Jackson researched the optical and electronic properties of two-dimensional and quasi-two-dimensional systems. In her research, Jackson has made contributions to the knowledge of charged density waves in layered compounds, polaronic aspects of electrons in the surface of liquid helium films, and optical and electronic properties of semiconductor strained-layer superlattices. On these topics and others, she has prepared or collaborated on over 100 scientific articles.[5]

Jackson served on the faculty at Rutgers University in Piscataway and New Brunswick, New Jersey from 1991 to 1995, in addition to continuing to consult with Bell Labs on semiconductor theory. Her research during this time focused on the electronic and optical properties of two-dimensional systems.

In 1995, President Bill Clinton appointed Jackson to serve as Chairman of the U.S. Nuclear Regulatory Commission (NRC), becoming the first woman and first African-American to hold that position.[4] At the NRC, she had “ultimate authority for all NRC functions pertaining to an emergency involving an NRC licensee.

On July 1st, 1999, Jackson became the 18th president of Rensselaer Polytechnic Institute. She was the first woman and first African-American to hold this position. Since her appointment to president of RPI, Jackson has helped raise over $1 billion in donations for philanthropic causes.[8] Jackson is leading a strategic initiative called The Rensselaer Plan and much progress has been made towards achieving the Plan’s goals. She has overseen a large capital improvement campaign, including the construction of an Experimental Media and Performing Arts Center and the East Campus Athletic Village. She enjoys the ongoing support of the RPI Board of Trustees. On April 26, 2006, the faculty of RPI (including a number of retirees) voted 155 to 149 against a vote of no-confidence in Jackson.[9] In the Fall of 2007, the Rensselaer Board of Trustees suspended the faculty senate, thus prompting a strong reaction from the Rensselaer community that resulted in various protests including a "teach-in”.[10][11]

Since arriving at RPI, Jackson has been one of the highest-paid university presidents in the nation.[12] Her combined salary and benefits have expanded from $423,150 in 1999-2000 to over $1.3 million in 2006-07 and to $2.34 million in 2010.[13][14] In 2011 Jackson’s salary was $1.75 million.[15] In 2006-07, it is estimated she received another $1.3 million from board seats at several major corporations.[13] The announcement of layoffs at RPI in Decembe 2008 led some in the RPI community to question whether the institute should continue to compensate Jackson at this level, maintain a $450,000 Adirondack residence for her, and continue to support a personal staff of housekeepers, bodyguards and other aides.[13] In July 2009, the news reported on the construction of a 10,000-square-foot (930 m2) mountain-top home in Bolton, New York, overlooking Lake George. A water-quality activist raised concerns about possible environmental hazards from the construction of a driveway, but according to Department of Environmental Conservation officials, the work was in compliance.[16]

In its 2009 review of the decade 1999-2009, McClatchy Newspapers reported Jackson as the highest-paid currently sitting college president in the U.S., with a 2008 salary of approximately $1.6 million.[17] On December 4–5, 2009 Jackson celebrated her 10th year at RPI with an extravagant “Celebration Weekend”, which featured tribute concerts by Aretha Franklin and Joshua Bell among other events.[18][19] Following the weekend, the Board of Trustees announced they would support construction of a new guest house on Jackson’s property, for the purpose of “[enabling] the president to receive and entertain, appropriately, Rensselaer constituents, donors, and other high-level visitors”.[20] It was later reported that Jackson’s current house on Tibbits Avenue has 4,884 square feet (453.7 m2) of space, seven bedrooms and five bathrooms, and an estimated value of $1,122,500.[21] The trustees said that “the funds for this new project would not have been available for any other purpose”.[20] William Walker, the school’s vice president of strategic communications and external relations noted, “The board sees this very much as a long-term investment … for President Jackson and her successors.”[21] On February 2, 2010, the Troy Zoning Board of Appeals denied RPI’s request for a zoning variance allowing them to construct the new house at a height of 44 feet (13 m), which would exceed the 25-foot (7.6 m) height restriction on buildings in residential areas. The Zoning Board stated that it is “too big”, and two firefighters believed the property would be difficult to access with emergency vehicles.[22] A new plan was announced on February 25, describing how the president’s house will be replaced with a new two-story house.[23] The new house will have “9,600 square feet of livable space, divided approximately equally between living space for the president’s family and rooms for the president to conduct meetings and events”.[24] In June 2010, it was discovered that the newest plans for the house showed a new size of 19,500 square feet (1,810 m2), causing the city of Troy to issue a stop-work order until additional building fees were paid.[25] Jackson’s development and implementation of the Rensselaer Plan enabled her to secure a $360 million unrestricted gift commitment to the university.[26]

In June 2010, it was announced that the Rensselaer Board of Trustees unanimously voted to extend Jackson a ten-year contract renewal, which she accepted.[27] Shirley Ann Jackson’s compensation ranked 1st among USA private university presidents in 2014.

Jackson has received many fellowships, including the Martin Marietta Aircraft Company Scholarship and Fellowship, the Prince Hall Masons Scholarship, the National Science Foundation Traineeship, and a Ford Foundation Advanced Study Fellowship. She has been elected to numerous special societies, including the American Physical Society and American Philosophical Society.[29]

Her achievements in science and education have been recognized with multiple awards, including the CIBA-GEIGY Exceptional Black Scientist Award. In the early 1990s, Governor James Florio awarded her the Thomas Alva Edison Science Award for her contributions to physics and for the promotion of science. In 2001, she received the Richtmyer Memorial Award given annually by the American Association of Physics Teachers. She has also received many honorary doctorate degrees.[30]

She was inducted into National Women’s Hall of Fame in 1998 for “her significant contributions as a distinguished scientist and advocate for education, science, and public policy”.[citation needed]

Jackson has also been active in professional associations and in serving society through public scientific commissions. In 1985, Governor Thomas Kean appointed her to the New Jersey Commission on Science and Technology. She is an active voice in numerous committees of the National Academy of Sciences, the American Association for the Advancement of Science (AAAS), and the National Science Foundation. Her continuing aim has been to preserve and strengthen the U.S. national capacity for innovation by increasing support for basic research in science and engineering. This is done in part by attracting talent from abroad and by expanding the domestic talent pool by attracting women and members of under-represented groups into careers in science. In 2004, she became president of the American Association for the Advancement of Science and chaired the AAAS board in 2005.

In spring 2007, she was awarded the Vannevar Bush Award for “a lifetime of achievements in scientific research, education and senior statesman-like contributions to public policy”.[31]

Jackson continues to be involved in politics and public policy. In 2008, she became the University Vice Chairman of the U.S. Council on Competitiveness, a not-for-profit group based in Washington, D.C. In 2009, President Barack Obama appointed Jackson to serve on the President’s Council of Advisors on Science and Technology, a 20-member advisory group dedicated to public policy.[32]

She was appointed an International Fellow[2] of the Royal Academy of Engineering[2] in 2012.

Jackson serves on the boards of directors of many organizations:[3]

Shirley Jackson is married to Morris A. Washington, a physics professor at Rensselaer Polytechnic Institute, and has one son, Alan, a Dartmouth College alumnus.

Source: Wikipedia

Wait I’m really confused about why you guys are so mad at me about that lmao

that space does not have a kitchen or bathroom and it’s likely not zoned for residential living spaces because you better believe they’d be making more money off it if they could

Seattle Trying to Ban Land Ownership in Name of Equality

Seattle, Washington may be one of the first major cities in the United States to outlaw land ownership for families.

by Robert Richardson

I’ve written about it many times in the past. The once great dream of owning your own little slice of land, living your life without having to worry about paying rent or relying on the government is gone. The American Dream is literally turning into an American Nightmare, as tyrannical politicians seek to limit your rights to own land.

According to a draft letter obtained by the Seattle Times, Seattle Mayor Ed Murray’s advisory committee on housing is currently drafting a set of rules that will ban single-family zoning in Seattle. Part of the draft reads: “We can still be a city for everyone, but only if we give up our outdated ideal of every family living in their own home on a 5,000 square foot lot.”

Just like everything these days, so called “racial injustice” is being used to push the land ban. According to the idiotic Seattle housing committee, owning your own piece of land now somehow makes you a racist.

The draft letter says that single-family zoning has “roots in racial and class exclusion. The zoning remains “among the largest obstacles to realizing the city’s goals for equity and affordability.”

So owning your own home, on your own piece of land, now makes you a racist who is holding back equality. You really can’t make this stuff up; it’s like we are living in Bizarro world!

The housing committee of citizen volunteers voted 19-3 to recommend replacing single-family zoning with a “lower density residential zone.” This means the single family home would be a thing of the past in Seattle, replaced by apartment buildings and housing projects — Because nothing says diversity like piling a bunch of people into low-income housing projects.

These people HATE Freedom and Self-Reliance

If you don’t realize what this is all about, let me spell it out for you. These people HATE Freedom, and they HATE the Self-Reliant lifestyle.

The government, at every level in this country, has become corrupted by power hungry politicians who are desperate to control every little aspect of your life, including where and how you live your lives.

They hate home ownership because it allows you a small slice of freedom; the chance to live your life without the government butting into every little aspect of what you do. They want a bunch of dependent drones piled into government approved housing units, who they can then control and dictate policy to.

It started years ago, when we started allowing these unconstitutional government zoning boards to bully us into letting them say what we can and can’t do on our own land.

From the WWII vet who was forced out of his 88-year-old family owned grocery store, to the 76-year-old Marine Veteran who lost his $197,000 home over a $134 property tax debt, to the heartbreaking story of Andrew Wordes who took his life after code enforcement teams seized his home, to the Off-Griders in California who were threatened with arrest for daring to live an off the grid lifestyle, these stories highlight how out of control these government thugs have grown.

Over the last couple of years we have covered story after story detailing how the American Dream of Home Ownership has become a literal American Nightmare. From giant corporate entities using eminent domain to steal people’s homes, to the federal government using the EPA to claim the nation’s waterways and private land, it seems homeowners and freedom lovers are under attack from every direction.

VA - The city is just falling into lock step with HUD’s new guidelines on how they want to breakup the current housing areas so that there are racial and income demographics intermixed into all neighborhoods. Nothing like a neighborhood of $3M houses and mobil homes intermingled. Keep in mind it was only a couple of weeks ago Seattle trying to force banks to give everybody home loans at rockbottom interest rates. So when that didn’t work they are going to ban land ownership so no one will be able to own a home.

When imagine the nerds in Peru, the only thing i can think about is duality. AGAIN.

Newton being all like “wow, history, they have huacas in middle of  a residential zone, food, food, food, food, looOk at alL thEsE Animals aw yis mother fucking floRa and FAUNA”

and Hermann just complaining about EVERYTHING. “Why is the traffic so chaotic???? there’s a lot of people in that little car omg stop. This weather is affecting my freaking leg i WANNA GO HOME”

Imagining all these scenarios bring me life tbh

“One Season,” Tony Hoagland

That was the summer my best friend
called me a faggot on the telephone,
hung up, and vanished from the earth,

a normal occurance in this country
where we change our lives
with the swiftness of hysterical finality

of dividing cells. That month
the rain refused to fall,
and fire engines streaked back and forth crosstown

towards smoke-filled residential zones
where people stood around outside, drank beer
and watched their neighbors houses burn.

It was a bad time to be affected
by nearly anything,
especially anything as dangerous

as loving a man, if you happened to be
a man yourself, ashamed and unable to explain
how your feelings could be torn apart

by something ritual and understated
as friendship between males.
Probably I talked too loud that year

and thought an extra minute
before I crossed my legs; probably
I chose a girl I didn’t care about

and took her everywhere,
knowing I would dump her in the fall
as part of evening the score,

part of practicing the scorn
it was clear I was going to need
to get across this planet

of violent emotional addition
and subtraction. Looking back, I can see
that I came through

in the spastic, furtive, half-alive manner
of accident survivors. Fuck anyone
who says I could have done it

differently. Though now I find myself
returning to the scene
as if the pain I fled

were the only place that I had left to go;
as if my love, whatever kind it was, or is,
were still trapped beneath the wreckage

of that year,
and I was one of those angry firemen
having to go back into the burning house;
climbing a ladder

through the heavy smoke and acrid smell
of my own feelings,
as if they were the only
goddamn thing worth living for.