resident idiot

doors in survival horror/horror vidya
  • Silent Hill: The door is rusted shut. It also has no knob and isn't real. None of these doors are. What, did you think we'd let you in any of these doors? Fucking idiot.
  • Resident Evil: This door requires an absurdly specific key only obtainable by doing an absurd puzzle. Why is everything in this building fucking locked?
  • Resident Evil 4: Just kick the door in half. You don't give a fuck. Fuck this guy's house, it's my house now.
  • Haunting Ground: Go print out some words on a stone printer. They're like keycards. But rocks.
  • Rule of Rose: Some little fucker is going to shut the door on you. What a prick.
  • Dino Crisis: I hope you like scrabble.
  • Dino Crisis 2: It seems that someone misplaced a large vehicle into this door. Go find a key in a pond to open the other door.
  • Fatal Frame: Hey I hope you like doing silly puzzles because here's a clock, go ahead and input that time you read about earlier.
  • Left 4 Dead: I mean, yeah, that door opens, but the hunter behind it isn't going to make things easier for you. Oops, it was just a horde.
  • Penumbra: Well that door's right fucked, innit? You see those boxes over there? You know what to do.
  • Amnesia: Same as above but with Mr. Struts on your ass the entire time.
  • S.T.A.L.K.E.R.: If it's a locked door, you're gonna need a keycode. Hope you're ready to fight the burer behind it. The pseudogiant, too.
  • X-COM: There's a lobsterman behind that door. Don't open it. Don't even open the sub door. There's lobstermen out there. Time to leave.
  • Cryostasis: You're going to have to go into some guy's memories and make it so that he doesn't get dead to get through this door. Or maybe a bear's memories. Awesome.
  • Lifeline: OPEN DOOR. OPEN THAT DOOR. OPEN KITCHEN DOOR. OPEN DOOR. OPEN THE FUCKING DOOR AAAAAA JESUS CHRIST RIO PLEASE I BEG OF YOU OPEN THE DOOR
  • Echo Night Beyond: Look through some really slow moving cameras until you figure out what you need to open the door, then proceed to immediately make a mad dash for the items while a ghost of a little girl kinda jogs towards you in an apparently immensely threatening fashion because your heart rate is literally breaking 300 bpm whenever she's within 3 feet of you.

Star Wars and toxic masculinity though, I’m sorry, but what? Are we watching the same movies? They have a pretty clear message: Anger is the path to the Dark Side. If you want to be a hero, don’t go around getting angry and being violent, you have to be nice. Kind. Understanding. That’s kind of a central message. And it runs very much counter to the whole angry, prone to violence, emotionless macho thing.

That’s shown in the characters as well, because we’ve got some really big tough no-emotion macho hero types there, let’s review:

  • Luke Skywalker, bleeding heart idealist, has a lot of feelings and shows all of them. Whines about wanting to see his friends. Cries when upset or in pain. Appeals to people’s conscience, does the right thing, big on calming your mind and listening to your heart. Makes friends with everyone immediately, can’t hate anyone for longer than two minutes. Does not hesitate to rush headlong into danger, but can’t necessarily save the day with fighting prowess. Cares deeply about everyone. If you could be friends with any character, I’d recommend this one.
  • Han Solo, resident idiot, has many feelings and tries to hide them, everyone knows anyway. Will glance broodily around so that you can tell he’s upset or conflicted. Really wants to talk to the girl he likes about her feelings, but has no idea how. Says he doesn’t care, continually runs straight into danger to save the people he cares about. Doesn’t even try to look tough in the face of torture, immediately starts screaming, would never say “it’s just a scratch”. Constantly needs help, always barely one step ahead of total disaster, definitely not your knight in shining armour.
  • Lando Calrissian, actual ladies’ man, charming and suave, arguably the closest we get to a fuckboy except not because he totally respects Leia. Shows polite interest, does not push or manipulate when he realises that she’s not interested, despite the fact that this happens very subtly. Does not hesitate to do the right thing, loyal to his friends, even at great personal cost. Also does not hesitate to follow Leia’s orders, and not because he thinks it’ll get him laid.
  • Anakin Skywalker, drama queen extraordinaire, has far too many feelings and most of them make him cry. May seem a little whiny. Always wants to talk about his feelings, readily shares them with anyone who’ll stand still for long enough. Loves very deeply and is not afraid to show it. Gets very angry, but this is shown to be a Bad Thing. Gets too attached to the point of obsession, which is also shown to be a Bad Thing.
  • Obi-Wan Kenobi, drama queen support group, is a lot better at keeping his feelings under control but still has them. Will absolutely cry at emotional moments (possibly because he is tired). Understands everyone, even if he kind of wishes he didn’t. His need to be rescued by Anakin is a running joke, but not in a way that demeans him as a man, or a person. Makes snarky quips to reassure himself. Knew all along that This Is A Terrible Idea. Definitely the Mom Friend.
  • Palpatine, the big bad, an evil nightmare of a man. Literally uses his anger and hatred as a power source. Enjoys torture and violence, wants to corrupt the hero with hatred and anger. Likes to pretend he knows everything, needs no help, thinks love and friendship are weakness. Has no friends. Employs no women (in the movies). Shows no emotion except smug superiority, anger, and, briefly, panic. Ultimately defeated by the power of love and forgiveness, which serves him right.

Star Wars very explicitly portrays excessive anger and violence as BAD, and caring and understanding as GOOD. The guys are allowed to cry, they all need rescuing at various points and they aren’t “less” for it. They work together with women, as partners and equals. When Anakin finds out that Padmé is pregnant, he doesn’t roll his eyes or get cold feet, he’s delighted. He’s excited to be a father and start a family. The only disparaging comment I can think of that any guy makes about women in the movies is Han’s “If we can avoid any more female advice” which is followed by Leia telling him to shut up and do what he’s told, and Han grumbling and doing what he’s told. So that plays more like Han trying desperately to find some way of getting back at Leia because he does not like being told what to do, and immediately losing another round.

We see Han trying to get Leia to admit how she feels about him, while Leia is more concerned about getting him to join the cause. We see Padmé trying to be practical and focus on the mission while Anakin can’t shut up about his feelings. We see Luke saving the day not by being the ultimate badass macho fighter man, but by appealing to his father’s conscience, his love, the good in Anakin Skywalker. We see plenty of instances of men asking for help and accepting help, showing emotion without being judged or fear of being judged, wanting love and family, etc. We also see romantic rivalry between Han and Luke, and Han and Lando, that does not turn into any kind of “fight” for Leia’s affections, because it’s Leia’s choice and they all know and respect that. In fact, the three guys are friends and stay that way.

All of that is the opposite of toxic masculinity, as far as I can tell.

If anything, the prequel trilogy is a cautionary tale about the importance of keeping your emotions, especially your anger, in check, and the original trilogy is basically how to do it right. Darth Vader is not portrayed as some kind of masculine ideal to strive for, he’s the bad guy. Luke, with his emotional openness and explicit refusal to give in to anger and hatred and violence, is the good guy. Luke is a character you can show to a little kid and say “this is a hero”.

I guess if you twist it enough you can see sexism and toxic masculinity in everything, and I’m not saying these movies are perfect. They have plenty of problems. But when it comes to portrayals of male heroism (and villainy), I think they’re actually pretty damn good.

Haikyuu!! Novel Volume 5: Before Our Representative Playoffs - The Blazing Dodgeball Highschooler Bokuto “Dodge” Koutarou (Summary)

Bokuto. Dodgeball. Team Fukurodani vs. Nekoma. What can possible go wrong? 

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American Idiot, both song and overall album, has some of the cheesiest and most seemingly specific-to-that-time lyrics, and yet… is so relevant to our current political disaster, possibly more than it was in 2004

it stands with “Eve of Destruction” in “super-dated and yet really, not at all, protest song that I keep revisiting in our real-world dystopia”

Anonymous said:I really liked the Nessian “Are you jealous” but can you do one with Cassian being the jealous one and having no chill? :))

Plus: Can you please write Nessian like nesta starts dating this guy for a while cus she thinks cassian and mor are a thing and cassian just gets so jealous at some point- I love your writing so much it’s so amazing!!!

{slightly NSFW}

Nesta had been sitting with the same fae male for twenty minutes and thirty-four seconds.

Not that Cassian was counting. 

He downed another shot of green liquor, something he would regret in the morning, but it was what needed to be done. He felt a tap on his shoulder and he risked a glance away from Nesta’s booth. His eyes met those of a female. Smiling blandly, he sent her away. He needed to make sure Nesta didn’t leave with the prick. He was interrupted by someone sidling up to him.

“You’re gonna die a lonely man if you keep watching her like that,” Azriel said, clapping him on the back.

“I’ll die a lonely man or I’ll die with her. I don’t want anybody else,” Cassian stated. It was the truth. 

“Ah,” Az remarked. “I see we’ve entered the sappy drunk stage.” Cassian rolled his eyes and shrugged Az’s hand off his shoulder. He readied himself to walk over. “You’re not going over there, right?” Az looked at him with concern. Cassian downed another shot. 

“I say it’s time for the ‘taking action’ stage of drunkenness, wouldn’t you?” He grinned at Azriel, but he didn’t feel it reach his eyes. As he began walking away, he could hear Az chuckling behind him.

“Good luck with that!” he called after Cassian.

Though his gait was slightly wobbly from the liquor burning it’s way through his body, Cassian attempted to stroll casually over to the booth housing Nesta and her company. With a grunt, he slid in beside Nesta and felt her stiffen. The conversation between her and loverboy halted. Cassian smirked.

“What do you want.” Nesta’s ice blue eyes didn’t meet his and he was annoyed to feel disappointment course through his veins.

“Can’t I meet your new friend?” A cheeky grin spread across his face as he turned to the male. The male smiled awkwardly. Good.

“This is Jasper,” Nesta said, steel in her voice. “Jasper, this is our resident idiot.” Cassian could tell Jasper was a polite prick when a hand was raised in a handshake. Cass made sure to pump his hand extra forcefully, just for the sake of it. Call it a pissing contest.

“It’s a pleasure to meet you, Commander,” Jasper said, with reverence in his voice. Cassian smirked again. 

“And I you, the great Jasper.”

“Well, now that you’ve met, would you please leave us?” Nesta requested, still not turning to look at him. He was half-tempted to grasp her chin and force her to meet his eyes, if only to see the fire within them. “Jasper was about to ask me something.” 

“Well, that’s not a problem! Ask away, Jas.” Cassian gestured his encouragement. Let’s see where this goes.

“Must you shorten everyone’s name?” He could feel nesta roll her eyes and it only fueled his cockiness.

“Yes, I must. Now Jaspie, what were you going to ask this fine female?” He grinned in the males direction, and saw him gulp.

“Um, well, I was simply wondering if Miss Archeron would like to accompany me to the theater tomorrow evening?” Jasper’s eyes quickly darted between Cassian and Nesta. Cassian held back a laugh. Nesta? On a date? But his humor ended abruptly with Nesta’s response:

“I would love to. And please, call me Nesta.”

Cassian’s mouth hung agape. Was this Jasper a damned daementi?

“Would like to walk me home, Jasper?” Nesta asked. A goofy grin spread across the fae’s face. What an idiot, Cassian thought. But a smaller part of him knew that the same grin would appear on his face if she ever asked him the same question.

“Of course,” Jasper replied.

“Excuse us,” Nesta said to Cassian, and finally, finally, her eyes met his. He relished her icy gaze, however brief and annoyed it was. Just to keep her gaze on him, Cassian didn’t budge. Nesta huffed. He grinned.

Jasper led her out through his side of the booth and they left the club. Cassian felt his face return back to his frown from before. He knew he probably looked like a pouting Illyrian baby, but, quite frankly, he didn’t give a fuck.


Nesta and this Jasper had been going out on dates almost every night for the past two weeks. And Cassian seemed to be the only one who had a problem with it.

“Get over it, Cass,” Feyre jabbed him one night as she, him, Mor, and Rhys were playing cards.

“Seriously, why can’t you just let her be happy? At least she’s not fighting with us every moment of everyday like before,” Mor said while inspecting her cards. “By the way, do you have any two’s?”

“Go fish,” he replied. “And I liked her fights. She’s too complacent now.”

“Just be patient, Cass,” Rhysand said, his assumed wisdom apparent in his voice. Cassian rolled his eyes as Feyre looked to Rhys while they shared some telepathic-mating-bond-lovey communication. Cassian looked at Mor to find her miming vomiting.

“Do you have any sixes?” Cassian asked Rhys. He was still staring deeply into his mate’s eyes. Cassian coughed. Loudly.

“What?” Rhys tore his eyes from Feyre and glared at Cassian. 

“Do. You. Have. Any sixes?” Cassian smiled sweetly. Mor laughed as Rhys shook his head. Cassian looked to Morrigan and rolled his eyes with a smile. Suddenly, Nesta walked in. She looked between Mor and Cassian, huffed, and walked through the living room where they sat 

“How was dinner, Nessie?” Cassian called to her.

“Don’t call me that,” was her only response as she walked up the stairs to her room. 

“Maybe if you stop fucking with her like that you’ll be able to f–” Cassian cut Mor off with a wave of his hand.

“Whatever.” But he couldn’t stop himself as he looked up the stairs to her room. And damn him if he couldn’t help the longing that he knew was written across his face. So he turned back to the card deck and drew one. Queen of Hearts.


The following Friday, Cassian was late meeting the gang at Rita’s He’d been disgustingly sweaty after heading back from the Illyrian camps and he’d needed to change, but for some reason his hair was not cooperating. He finally just decided to tie it back in a bun.

Nesta was just exiting her room when he entered the hallway. Both surprised, they both jumped. He caught her breath hitch as she looked his hair. He felt his own heart skip a beat when he took in her gorgeous figure in the closely-cut dress she was wearing. 

“Um–” 

“Are–”

They both spoke at the same time. Cassian cracked a smile and he could spot the whisper of one on her own lips. 

“You first,” he grinned.

“Are you heading out to Rita’s?” she asked. He nodded, and realized the group was probably wondering what was taking him so long. They could wait.

“How about you? Going to meet Jas?” Her eyes narrowed by stayed alight with humor.

“Yes. We’re going out to dinner then dancing.” She looked away from him to brush some imaginary lint off of her dress.

“Sounds like fun night.” He tried, and failed, to keep the sarcasm out of his voice.

“Should be better than going to the bar with some drunk bat, that’s for sure.” Her fire had returned.

“I’m sure a sloppy drunk Illyrian knows how to move better than than some prim and proper fae male.”

“Jasper can move just fine,” she spat at him. He grinned.

“Oh can he?” Cassian lifted a brow and began stalking toward her.

“Yes,” she said, steeling herself and standing straighter. But she didn’t turn away.

“He knows how to move his hips?”

“His tongue, too,” she snipped.

“I’m not sure you know how a tongue should be properly used.” He was getting closer to her. He could feel her heat.

“And you do?” He knew she was trying to scoff, but her voice hinted desire. He smiled slowly at her.

He leaned down to her, letting his breath brush against the shell of her ear. “Indeed I do.”

“Prove it.”

He smirked and proceeded to lick the column of her neck, back up to her ear, nipping the lobe to finish. He felt her shudder and smiled. 

“I think you can do better than that,” she breathed. Then she took him by surprise by raking her fingers through his hair and bringing his mouth to hers. He ran his tongue over her lips and she granted it entry. Their tongues fought with as much fire as they did, swirling and intertwining. He slid his hands over her perfect curves and settled on her ass, digging his fingers into her covered flesh and pressing her closer to him. She groaned at the friction and he felt pride sweep through him. He slowly began to back her up against the doorframe of her room. Once her back was against the wall, she pressed closer to him and writhed a bit. He groaned into her mouth and she took the opportunity to sink her teeth into his bottom lip. He opened his eyes to her blazing and boring into his. That’s it. He scooped her up and wrapped her legs around his waist. He ground into her a bit, relishing the quiet moan that escaped her lips.

He slowly began carrying her back into her room, not separating their lips, and proceeded to lay her down on the bed. He reached down to take off his tunic. 

“Wait,” she stopped him. “Rita’s?” 

“They can miss me for a night. Jasper?” 

“I’ll send him a note in the morning.” He grinned and took his shirt off. She sat up and began unbuttoning her own clothing as quickly as she could. After he slipped off his shoes and began to help her. 

“Gods how many fucking buttons does this have?!” She laughed and he revelled in the glorious sound. He quickly pressed a kiss to her bare back. Finally, after what seemed like ages, he slipped the dress from her frame, delightfully realizing she was almost completely bare underneath, aside form a pair of barely their lace panties. He growled softly in anger when he realized who they were originally worn for. Nesta took his face in her hands.

“These are meant for you. Only for you.” She then took the tie out of his hair and slowly swept his hair back. He leaned into her touch and his growl softened to a slight purr. She pressed her lips to his, standing on her tip toes, and gently pulled him back toward the bed. They both slowly sank down and moved against each other. At some point Cassian’s pants came off. At another point, so did Nesta’s underthings.

They didn’t get out of the bed til the next afternoon.


FINALLy this is posted. also i added in some go fish action for @a-throneoffeels lol. hope the anons like this!!!!!!!!!!

the sawamura eijun fanclub

characters: miyuki kazuya, okumura koushuu, kuramochi youichi, furuya satoru, haruichi kominato
theme: CRACK. sawamura eijun love.
- i have no regrets. who are the other members in this club? i’m certainly one.

“What’s this.”

“Exactly what you think it is.”

“I don’t know what to think about it, honestly.”

“Why don’t you open it and see for yourself?”

“.. a wolf mask? And.. Is this a joke.”

“I assure you, it’s not.”

Sawamura Eijun fan club? Why am I given this nonsense.”

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Got7 in the police force

Mark - the dog handler you think is a cinnamon roll until he sets his pack of loyal bitches on you:

JB - the dad-cop everybody in the neighbourhood knows who comes to crash all your house parties and make sure you’re not wearing socks with holes in:

Jackson - the extra as fuq SWAT ninja. Always ends up having to pay for damages:

Jinyoung - the keen-to-please-if-you-ask-for-a-report-I’ll-give-you-an-autobiography officer:

Youngjae - the soft soft traffic warden. An actual marshmallow:

Bambam and Yugyeom - the resident idiot rookies. No one knows if they’re actual morons or just faking it for the lolz:

notes on a cup

Prompts: “I’m not going to stop poking you until you give me some attention.” & “I adore you.” && “You’re not allowed to do that.”

A/N: Okay so I should be studying right now but this idea hit me in the face out of nowhere. I hope it was okay that I was combining a few of the prompt requests I’d received! If not, please let me know and I can accommodate :)

                               _________________________________                                  

Its only been a few days since Riley Matthews moved to the hustling and bustling city of Greenwich Village, New York. Its the start of her junior year and surprisingly she’s already made a few friends on her first day at school. Maya, Farkle, and Smackle had taken a liking to her almost instantly– which she was ever so grateful for.

Surprisingly, they weren’t the only ones who had taken an interest in the pretty brunette. Ever since she crossed paths with the school’s quarterback the other day, he’d taken quite a liking to her. They had first met when he accidentally hit her with a football in the hallway when he’d meant to pass it to Zay. 

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