resident idiot

doors in survival horror/horror vidya
  • Silent Hill: The door is rusted shut. It also has no knob and isn't real. None of these doors are. What, did you think we'd let you in any of these doors? Fucking idiot.
  • Resident Evil: This door requires an absurdly specific key only obtainable by doing an absurd puzzle. Why is everything in this building fucking locked?
  • Resident Evil 4: Just kick the door in half. You don't give a fuck. Fuck this guy's house, it's my house now.
  • Haunting Ground: Go print out some words on a stone printer. They're like keycards. But rocks.
  • Rule of Rose: Some little fucker is going to shut the door on you. What a prick.
  • Dino Crisis: I hope you like scrabble.
  • Dino Crisis 2: It seems that someone misplaced a large vehicle into this door. Go find a key in a pond to open the other door.
  • Fatal Frame: Hey I hope you like doing silly puzzles because here's a clock, go ahead and input that time you read about earlier.
  • Left 4 Dead: I mean, yeah, that door opens, but the hunter behind it isn't going to make things easier for you. Oops, it was just a horde.
  • Penumbra: Well that door's right fucked, innit? You see those boxes over there? You know what to do.
  • Amnesia: Same as above but with Mr. Struts on your ass the entire time.
  • S.T.A.L.K.E.R.: If it's a locked door, you're gonna need a keycode. Hope you're ready to fight the burer behind it. The pseudogiant, too.
  • X-COM: There's a lobsterman behind that door. Don't open it. Don't even open the sub door. There's lobstermen out there. Time to leave.
  • Cryostasis: You're going to have to go into some guy's memories and make it so that he doesn't get dead to get through this door. Or maybe a bear's memories. Awesome.
Got7 in the police force

Mark - the dog handler you think is a cinnamon roll until he sets his pack of loyal bitches on you:

JB - the dad-cop everybody in the neighbourhood knows who comes to crash all your house parties and make sure you’re not wearing socks with holes in:

Jackson - the extra as fuq SWAT ninja. Always ends up having to pay for damages:

Jinyoung - the keen-to-please-if-you-ask-for-a-report-I’ll-give-you-an-autobiography officer:

Youngjae - the soft soft traffic warden. An actual marshmallow:

Bambam and Yugyeom - the resident idiot rookies. No one knows if they’re actual morons or just faking it for the lolz:

anonymous asked:

"Haha, look- I'm within you! I mean that's technically how this Poco thing works, right?" -Naco, resident fusion idiot (VeshetaAndFriends)

“Oh, believe me, I didn’t think it was anything less~.”

Poco purrs, grinning from ear to ear, looking over her six-and-a-half beefcake bod, flexing her– their bicep, giving it a loud, smacking smooch. God, she loved being this big, and she loved Naco for giving it to her!

Mwah~! You better be careful you don’t surprise me with this too much!” She thumps her broad bosom, over a layer of solid muscle twice, grinning. “One of these days, I’m not gonna give you back~.”

Temper Flares

//ooc: for @thesansationalskeleton​! Prompt: Papyrus isn’t exactly popular is he? He doesn’t have any friends after all, and his big heart leaves him plenty open to some bullying. Sans decides it’s time to bully back, but his anger can get dangerous…

“WOW, THAT WAS A GOOD PUSH! HAVE YOU BEEN TRAINING WITH UNDYNE TOO?” Papyrus complimented from the ground, staring up at Ice Cap and Snowdrake peering down at him with smug expressions. The two teens of Snowdin usually hung around the outskirts of town, complaining about their parents when along came Papyrus, the resident idiot as they liked to call him. Papyrus was lame through and through, they hated his smiles, they were annoyed at his loud voice, and they despised that he worked so hard. Why the skeleton even attempted to be friends with them was beyond their thought process. 

When he came along today to figure out where to set up some puzzles, the teens were not amused that it was on ‘their’ turf. “Chill out lameo, as if a human would ever slip into your traps anyways.” the snowdrake huffed. But Papyrus insisted merrily, saying you could never be too careful, and began walking around the area with focus. Eventually the teens lost their tempers, and they both went over to teach the skeleton that he wasn’t welcome in this area. This was ‘their’ area to brood and complain! 

So Papyrus went down with a harsh shove, falling onto his back but even now all he did was give a small compliment and a bit of a hesitant smile. Snowdrake kicked some snow upon the skeleton in frustration with his small claw, wondering why Papyrus never seemed to take a hint. What a dork.

The FBI has rounded up 17 black gang members that we in connection with the murder of Jessica Chambers in Mississippi. She was a white 19 year old girl that had disappeared from a gas station while she was filling up her car with gas; her body was found burning just a few miles from the station. They thugs doused her with gasoline and then burned her alive.

Even though this happened more than a year ago, the mainstream media was covering it non-stop…oh, wait, just kidding. There was little to no coverage about this story. Now, especially because there are 17 black thugs that have been arrested, we really aren’t going to hear squat about it.

This is just another example of another White life that doesn’t matter to the media, and certainly not to the idiot residing in the White House.

What does one do after figuring out they’ve been stood up? Last night Jack and I were supposed to have an ice cream date to talk over how the tour’s been going, but the resident idiot decided sleep was more important than hanging out with me. I’m pretty sure I waited on him for an hour of sitting by myself before I assumed he wasn’t coming at all.

Rooster Teeth Staff as High School Tropes
  • Burnie Burns: nice guy
  • Geoff Ramsey: stoner
  • Gus Sorola: dork
  • Michael Jones: jock
  • Gavin Free: foreign exchange student/class clown AKA resident idiot
  • Lindsay Jones: nerd girl
  • Barbara Dunkleman: cheerleader
  • Monty Oum: weeb
  • Miles Luna & Kerry Shawcross: dynamic duo
  • Jeff & Casey Lee Williams: punk rockers