reptoid

Iron Priest (Cleric Archetype)

The concept of visitors from beyond the stars being worshipped as gods is nothing new, but it adds a special twist when these beings also bring with them their superior technology as well, including robots!

In the Golarion setting, Iron Priests are typically worshippers of what are collectively known as Iron Gods: Artificial intelligences that, through a combination of the ignorant awe of less advanced mortals, the raw magic of that region of the universe, and so on, have acquired some small level of divine power in a local region and the ability to grant spells to their devotees. However, despite this, Iron Gods are still products of the material plane, and can be destroyed much easier than even the weakest demigods.

Regardless, the unifying factor across all settings is that Iron Priests worship advanced technology, or at least, the powerful beings the come bearing it from other worlds, which grants them a slightly different set of abilities to suit their focus. They often take the role of go-between among their people and whatever they worship, working with the machines of the star travelers to either use them or quell their fury.

The healing or harming power of an iron priest’s channeled energy not only affects the living, but also constructs, repairing them or tearing them apart even as they do the same to the living. However, their power never affects the undead.

Additionally, when converting spell energy into curatives or inflictions, these mystics can also use them to spontaneously cast various construct healing spells, regardless of whether they focus on healing or harming.

With that in mind, these priests are naturals for games in which one is planning on facing constructs (particularly robots) or on having robotic allies and servants. Regardless, a few domain choices that add construct-focused options to their abilities could not hurt, particularly electricity spells, on account of the robotic vulnerability to such things. Crafting feats and Technologist is also recommended.

The sort of entities that iron priests worship may vary. In Golarion, its almost universally an Iron God AI, or perhaps a general worship of the mysterious civilization that the ship belonged to. Others may worship aliens directly, or perhaps just the machines around them.

 

Recently, strange priests have begun evangelizing in the streets, promising eternal life to those that offer themselves, body and soul, to the Queen of Metal. Though clearly not sane, their promises do pique the interests of a few, which has in turn brought the attention of a morrigna psychopomp named Yanshada.

Rumors of shapeshifting reptiles infiltrating society are nothing new, but a few theorists have taken to worshipping these supposed visitors as messengers of the gods. Whether the true reptoid agenda actually involves this cult is yet to be seen, but they might be dangerous if they get ahold of the strange tech the reptoids brought with them.

Taking an intact chaingun ripped from a destroyed annihilator robot as her prize, the centaur priestess Mura carries the weapon and extra ammunition into battle, alongside other machines that her people have taken from the Ruins of Man. More dangerous still is her ability to repair her robotic servitors as well.

678: Toffee

Ready your narwhal blast, cause this week is Star vs The Forces of Evil!

Who’s your favorite monster? Demon? Hispanic Faux Unicorn? Lemme know!

The Interview

I totally get that wacky conspiracy theories are fun to joke about - but if you’re going to joke about lizard people, you should probably be aware that “reptilians” is a code-phrase for “crypto-Jews”.

When conspiracy nuts talk about politicians and celebrities secretly being lizard people, what they’re really implying is that they’re secretly Jewish. The whole “Reptoid conspiracy” thing is just a verbal smoke-screen - a veneer of plausible deniability.

Sure, you probably didn’t mean it that way when you joked about it. You probably weren’t aware of the double meaning at all. This stuff is pretty good at flying under the radar; indeed, that’s the whole point.

But, well, now you know.

521: Flatwoods Monster

“Of all the eerie saucer stories, this was the weirdest… when the time came to admit that the saucers were real, the slightest official hint of possible menace would be quickly remembered. From that angle the sutton story was dangerous, with it’s picture of a fearsome creature intelligent enough to build and control space ships.”

Major Donald E. Keyhoe

Some Kicking Ambience

598: Flatwoods Monster (Maid)

She doesn’t take well to cleaning critique…

Requested by: skeleton-bakers-fright-lines

Just A Mean Green Mother From Outer Space!

Mothman of the day is: Mothman gets paid a visit by an old friend for the next week!