repress

Do you ever feel like a grown-up phannie and are 100% sure that Dan and Phil are and have always just been best friends on a platonic level who were just messing around online but then suddenly out of nowhere the door to the depths of hell opens again and you read old screenshots and tweets and watch old videos and suddenly you’re only 50% sure and then a demon slowly starts crawling out of the hell door towards you and whispers into your ear… “Awrf”. And suddenly you, a grown-up, confused, paranoid, queer phannie, end up with 0% sureness about anything ever, except for being sure of your own inner gay demon hoping for validation and that queer, perfect love story to be true.

Or is that just me.

Repress

Prompt: 72, “It’s okay to cry.” from anon

Pairings: Logicality

Word Count: 1,128

Warnings: Repressing emotions, mention of panic attacks, physical struggle (not quite a fight, but there’s some pulling and grabbing), crying.

Notes: This is probably a slightly overdone concept but *shrugs* I’m just trying to get over some writer’s block, which is why I asked for prompts, so I’m not super worried about originality. I hope it’s good tho! <3 ~Martin


The search for Patton had lasted all day. At the first hint that something was wrong when Patton was nowhere to be found at breakfast that morning, Roman had run off to look for him, Virgil sent him frantic text messages, and Logan did his best to organize a methodical search despite his own worry. But no amount of searching, calling, and summoning brought Patton back to them.

In the late afternoon just before sunset, when Roman was still searching the imagination and Virgil was simply doing his best to avoid having a panic attack, Logan came to the conclusion that Patton didn’t want to be found. He assured Virgil that Patton would return when he was ready. Perhaps the moral Side had simply needed some alone-time. As extroverted as he was, it did happen occasionally. Logan rose up in his room, intending to get a bit of work done since he hadn’t been in his room since last night, having fallen asleep on the couch.

Patton was sitting on his floor. He was leaning against Logan’s bed, his head tilted back to stare at the glowing stars on the ceiling. He didn’t move at all to acknowledge Logan’s arrival.

Torn between annoyance and relief, Logan walked over and sat down on the floor facing him. “Patton, what are you doing in my room?” he asked.

Keep reading

me, zoning out in aldi: theo is older than the twins and when they were leaving the hill house during their Last Night there she saw what happened in the red room after hugh grabbed her arm. she was arguably old enough to remember it as an adult so did she repress it for all those years or di

i know like,, every single person with dyspraxia on earth has made a comment about this already but i just had a traumatic high school flashback i thought i’d share bc i think it really shows how important representation like ryan in doctor who is

so when i was about fifteen i had to go on this camping trip with the rest of my year group and funnily enough i love camping despite the y’know, obstacle courses, balancing pole things of doom, Many Many Ladders Up Very Very High.., and i manage to get through all that because people don’t really have a problem with clumsy people or people with a fear of heights funnily enough, but the biking trail? oh my god. what is it about bikes?! why are they my number one source of public humiliation????

so my entire year group is set-up in this field at the bottom of this steep as hell rocky mountainside trail and the teacher in charge (who’s obviously in a shitty mood because she’s sharing one shower with like 20 other people) is like “is anyone here unable to do this because they think they’ll legitimately hurt themselves?”

and i’m literally panicking at this point but i know if i don’t say anything i’m going to have to literally mountain bike and will definitely end up hurtling down a freaking cliff at Top Speeds (like what the hell i can’t even do that shit on a normal flat surface !!) so i put my hand up

and she just glares at me — as if someone actually answering the question that she posed in the first place was ludicrous. (i still have no idea why she bothered asking.)

and instead of saying “ok” like an actual sane person and sending me off kayaking or to go sit around picking the chocolate bits out of trail mix she goes “sorry. but do you honestly expect me to believe that you’re fifteen years old and can’t ride a bike? is something wrong with you? are you an idiot?”

and everyone is just stunned — like, into complete silence because this grown-ass woman is calling me an idiot in front of the entire year

and i have no idea what to do. i’m blushing so hard i think i’m going to die but when even though i can Feel the tears coming i’m like “i guess i am an idiot. because i can’t”

and she doesn’t even stop she like, keeps on pressing and arguing with me, telling me that i’m lying and that i have to be lying or else i’m just really stupid and i keep replying as sardonically as i can like “yeah. no matter how many times you ask me i’m still not going to magically be able to do it” but eventually i do start to break down and then this one girl literally yells like “miss, just stop it! she says she can’t do it so don’t make her do it?”

and then other people start agreeing? and then there is literally a chorus of people shouting things out and telling me that i’m fine and it’s okay for me to not be able to ride a bike and that their older brother still can’t do it and — like,.. it was literally so surreal like — one of those classic tumblr moments that ends with ‘and everyone clapped’

anyway, in the end her ‘punishment’ for me was to stay at the bottom of the mountain to learn how to ride a bike which was kind of like at the end of ‘the woman who fell to earth’ (the falling down parts) and kind of not like that because instead of the doctor watching from afar i was being clutched tightly onto by the shoulders by my class tutor, a very small old asian lady who kept going “PEDAL PEDAL PEDAL PEDAL” over and over, not understanding that in order for me to even have a chance of going in a straight line she’d have to let go. so, just imagine me and this woman spinning around in an impossibly tight circle with me repeatedly falling on my face and crushing her, for like, an hour while passing campers just walk by and watch me get humiliated.

10/10 would bike again

honestly though, i can’t believe so many people stood up for me that day. i suppose it was because that teacher happened to be especially antagonistic. looking back i can laugh though but man