So this is the first post I’ve made about this milestone, I didn’t make some big grand special post because I literally couldn’t think of one and I didn’t want to force one out of me. All morning I’ve been trying to get my thoughts together about this milestone and just about Sean in general I guess and I feel like now after I watched some fan videos celebrating this milestone and this vlog that I have something to say that’s worth while now. I’ve decided to completely and genuinely speak from the heart as much as I can. :) So I apologize if this post becomes extremely long or goes all over the place because I’m speaking from from my heart and also for only speaking for myself and talking about myself in this and not the community because that’s what these milestones should be about is celebrating the community. So please remember to pat yourselves on the back everyone because we’re in an amazing community together and we deserve to celebrate that. :)
Anyway getting to what I want to say about Sean.
There’s a certain moment from Sean that I always remember, he said this in a live stream he did a little while ago.
The reason I’m bringing this up is because I always remember this and also because it perfectly describes how Sean has made me feel in this whole time I’ve know that he’s existed. He helped me make my life worth living every single day too. :’) That probably sounds like a complete over exaggeration and it probably sounds awful to say that because that’s a huge thing to say about just one person. But it seriously is the truth. If I never discovered Sean I wouldn’t be who I am now, I wouldn’t be me. I’d still be this negative and sad person who wouldn’t let herself enjoy anything because she was so angry at herself for being scared of her future and feeling like failure before she even had the chance to try because she was always comparing her lack of accomplishments to other people’s. I was drowning in an endless sea of negativity and just felt like I’d never get out of this hole I’d dug myself in for like 2 years at the time. During that time I completely shut down, I lost so much of who I am in those years and just treated myself like absolute shit. I treated myself like I never ever deserved to have happiness and no one should live or feel like that. :(
But thanks to Sean and him just being who he genuinely is and making me smile and laugh. His contagious positivity got through to me in a time where literally nothing was. I was finally laughing and enjoying myself again, I started to try new things, I was being a lot more positive and optimistic and I even emotionally cried for time in years. I finally changed like I needed to after years of just forcing myself to stay the same. Plus because I was making posts about Sean everyday it gave me something to do with all the free time I had that actually made me feel productive. I saw so many of the things I loved about myself in Sean and somehow by him just helping me smile and laugh it helped me connect back to myself and the parts of myself I thought I had lost in those years. I found who I was again and I realized that I’m not bad person for being scared or not knowing what to do with my life and that I don’t hate this person I’ve become. I realized that I loved myself and that I didn’t hate who I am. There’s no words I could ever say that could ever describe how much all of this has meant to me. Sean has taught me so much and given so much then he could ever possibly know just being who he genuinely is. I mean don’t get me wrong I’m not trying to make it sound like Sean saved my life or anything like that or to make him sound 10x greater then how he actually is. It’s just that his positivity inspired me to change my own life.That’s why I say that he has helped me make my life worth living too. He may have started the engine for my changes but I’m the one that’s keeping all of that going. :) But still, there’s no way I could ever describe what all of that has meant to me. :’)
Sean if you actually end of seeing and reading this post, the first thing I want to say to you is you’re welcome to all the thank yous you’ve said in this video. xD But also speaking just for myself anyway and not the community as a whole, you don’t need to repay me for anything that I’ve ever given to you. You don’t owe me anything just like how I don’t own you anything. That feeling of gratitude and appreciation is equal and mutual. :) Everything you’ve given me or inspired me to do for myself is enough and worth so much more then you even realize it does. I mean it’s absolutely fantastic that you want to improve yourself and your content to make us all happy but honestly all you need and all I’d ever ask you to be at the end of the day is who you are. I mean you’ve helped me become and better and stronger person just by being the person who you genuinely are. My friend, I know and believe with all my heart that you are going to bring so much more happiness into people’s lives and get even more amazing opportunities for yourself and for the channel. You have such a amazing, unique and beautiful spark and light to you that brings so much positivity to the world. I know that you’re going to continue to work hard and throw your all into the things I know you’re are the most passionate about in your life. ^_^
I believe in you Sean and you always have and always will do me proud. :)
Congratulations on the channel reaching 13 million subscribers. ^_^