replace the face

Tadhdfw your brain is being funny and keeps replacing the thing you mean with another word that’s remotely related.

~

good morning, it’s me: Bad Cat

Back in Uni..
Twilight Princess Au where everything is the same except-

(with every bullet being a separate au*)

  • Ganon’s shoes squeak and honk when he walks.
  • Zelda is played by the impeccable Dwayne “The Rock” Johnson
  • Any of Zant’s audio tracks consist entirely of startled chicken noises. 
  • Midna’s hair/hand is just a poorly taped on sports foam finger.
  • Link’s wolf form is, instead, a Chinese dwarf hamster.
  • Ganon and Link have switched clothes and the sizes are not adjusted.
  • All the shadow beasts’s faces are replaced with Tingle’s face.
  • Agitha is supreme overlord of only bees. Thousands of bees.
  • The Yeti are all now various cereal mascot costumes.
  • Ilia’s and Malo’s roles and personalities are swapped.
  • The Hero’s Shade is played by Simon Cowell wearing a bed sheet.
  • Careless Whispers plays every time Shad makes an entrance.
  • The entire soundtrack is now kazoo renditions.
  • The Gorons’ awkward rock hard nipples spin like tassels.
  • Every time you die the Mario death sound plays.
  • Link’s weapons are all bedazzled.
  • Every sword is replaced with pool floaties.
  • Every time you collect a rupee it lets out a tiny scream.
  • Epona is a segway covered in strobe lights.
  • Rusl’s intro speech is in the style of My Immortal.
  • The Mirror of Twilight is now this:

Laito: Look, I made a to-do list. *hands over a piece of paper*

Yui: This just says “bitch-chan” on it.

Laito: I know.

8

I meant to make a bunch of edits replacing the contents of the blackboard, inspired by this post, but me being me, it didn’t take long before I switched tracks to replacing Peridot’s face.

I apologize for nothing.

So I’ve been thinking about Kevin...

- this boy has spent his entire life shaping every aspect of his being into the most proficient and capable exy player he can be
- he only eats healthy foods, he exercises according to specific plans designed to maximise his strength and agility and keep him fit and lithe
- he spends all his free time watching exy re-runs and designing game plans
- he keeps his hair short and manageable to ensure he doesn’t have to worry about it during a game or practice
- every aspect of this boys’ life is exy related
- his only vice is alcohol, that’s the only thing he can let himself have, and that’s only because he probably wouldn’t be alive without it
- but, imagine this:
- after Riko is dead- the number one who dictated the course of so much of his life, who nearly destroyed him for daring to be better
- and after he removes that horrible 2 from his face, replacing it with the queen piece and taking back some god damned control
- Kevin is the freest he’s ever been in his entire life
- he doesn’t have to answer to anyone but maybe his captain and coach anymore, he is his own man and no one can change that
- it takes him the longest time to realise that, even after the events of the books
- because, in his own fucked up way, he mourns Riko, despite how much he hated him in the end, despite how much bad blood was between them
- Riko had been the cornerstone of his entire life
- there’s an ache in him where the Riko he loved and misses will always be, no matter what he became in the end
- but, one day (no doubt also with andrew and neil and the foxes help) he realises he can be more than this
- if he can change the tattoo he’s had on his cheek since he was a child, if he can put Riko to rest and move on with his life
- what else can he do to regain some control, to be his own person, to live his own life?
- he starts experimenting with whatever takes his fancy
- watching historical documentaries on the history channel instead of exy reruns in the middle of a season?
- you betcha
- adding ice cream to his smoothies because andrew leaves punnets of it lying around and he’s kinda tempted by adding a little bit of wholesome sweetness to his bland health shakes?
- why the fuck not
- going to Eden’s with the monsters and experimenting with different drinks on the menu, regardless of calorie or alcoholic content, instead of his typical get-drunk-asap shots?
- yes, my man
- trying to learn German with Nicky, and occasionally Neil and Aaron’s, help, because all his languages (french, japanese) are products of the nest and he wants to be able to have some form of expression free of that, a product of his new home (family) with whom he wants to be able to communicate privately, even in public, with ease?
- of course
- deciding, one day, as he’s staring at himself in the mirror, that he’s not going to be bothered to cut his hair- because he is more than exy now. He’s a real human being with a life ahead of him that includes more than just being a player, more than just making court and the olympics and being the best. So is he going to grow it out, maybe even to shoulder length, adding about 200% to his overall hotness and feeling fucking good about it?
- you bet your ass he is
- Neil and Andrew are almost shocked by this change that comes over him
- this guy who has been stuck in this exy-obsessed mindset all his life
- breaking free and finding himself, enjoying his life and discovering who he is
- it’s kinda incredible
- Andrew’s mostly just impressed he managed to grow a spine
- Neil’s a little proud, because he understands Kevin a little better than the rest, and he knew that stuff like this wouldn’t be easy for him
- hell, Wymack is proud too
- his long lost, new found son who was always such a mess, actually learning to enjoy himself
- of course he’s proud
- and the rest of the foxes, who’ve never really understood kevin even though he’ll always be a part of their family- hell, he’s the reason their family exists at all, the reason Neil came to PSU and united them- they’re proud of him too
- Dan and Matt who’ve never gone out of their way to talk to him or get to know him, now making an effort to include kevin on things
- Matt introducing him to video games, Dan going on runs with him and making sure he participates in the foxes movie nights and activities (ever the captain and mother)
- Allison sensing the need to expand his shopping horizons, and personally dragging him out to clothing stores to help him find his own personal style (which she approves of) because Kevin’s never had the opportunity to express his individuality through materialistic means before
- Renee, sweet and beautiful Renee, including him in her and Andrew’s apocalypse discussions- for which he has surprisingly imaginative ideas
- Nicky introducing him to non-exy books, getting him interested in the romance genre (kevin finds a soft spot for historical romance fiction- gay & straight cos he’s bi lol fight me) and movies and just generally injecting sappiness into his life (which requires a lot of prodding and dedication which nicky has in abundance)
- Aaron doesn’t really do all that much, and he and kevin never get close, but he’s far more inclined to dance with him at the club or drag him over to the best spots because it’s less embarrassing to be seen with him now
- i’m sorry i just have a lot of feelings about Kevin
- i want him to be so happy 

It's Not Everyday this Happens

Character: Philip X Shy!Reader
Prompt: A shy reader meets a special guy who just so happens to share some traits with them.
Word Count: 1,110
W/T: None???
A/N: This was requested by the lovely @fangirlwithasweettooth and so here it is! ALSO sorry if you wanted HamilTime, I just naturally write in Modern AU style…Hope y’all enjoy!
~SJ

___

The scent of fresh book pages and strong coffee beans drifts past your nose as you drag your eyes away from your notebook, taking in your surroundings. The people sitting at the tables from before have up and left, and have been replaced by new faces, their plastic cups steaming with new drinks. You check your F/C watch, the silver hands indicating that a full hour has passed since you last looked up. You smiling awkwardly to yourself, somewhat embarrassed by how lost you had become in your drawings.

Reaching your hand over to your own mug, you wrap your cold fingers around it and lift it to your lips, only to be reminded that you hadn’t gone up to refill it earlier. Frowning, you sheepishly set the empty cup back on the smooth wood table, hoping that nobody had seen that little slip up. You would personally love to have another piping hot cup of hot chocolate or coffee, but you were not about to approach the register again. The first time was hard enough as is, having to repeat yourself three times before the barista finally got all of your order, you were not about to deal with your crippling shyness again.

Huffing out a sigh of defeat, you sink back into your chair, glaring down at your laptop screen, its sleep mode kicking into action. You feel so conflicted. You want more to drink, but you can’t bring yourself to be embarrassed again. You feel your cheeks heat up just thinking about it, making you uncomfortable at the very thought. You hurriedly glide your finger across the trackpad of your laptop, the screen instantly coming back to life. Reshuffling the music on your computer, your earbuds come alive with Brendon Urie’s voice as you begin to start back up on your Biology paper, swearing that Charles Darwin will be the death of you.

But your doodles keep distracting you. The untamed hair of your characters, their crooked smiles and blank expressions practically begging you to fix them. You try to push the spiral notebook away from you, but it’s as if the people on the page were yelling at you, screaming to get your attention. Sighing, you pick up your pencil and start to fix their shapes, making sure not to cross over your notes that you have on the page as well.

If you love me let me gooooooooooooo

You mouth along silently with the song, some chords quietly escaping you as you do so. No, you need to do your paper, Y/N, stop drawing. It can wait. You quickly shut the notebook and slide it into your backpack, making sure you can’t see it. Turning your attention back to the document before you, you hastily start typing, unsure of how the sentences flow together as you continue to write.

Because these words are knives that often leave scars

You slowly take a glance around the shop again, taking in your surroundings. More people mill around, their voices faded like the overhead music. The front of the store had a small line crowded around the counter, waiting for their own drinks. The-

Oh.

Oh.

Sitting directly in front of you, roughly five tables away, was a guy. A cute one, at that.

And he was staring at you.

The fear the fear of falling apart

Panicked, you avert your eyes back to your laptop screen, knowing full well your cheeks were burning a deep red. God, he is cute. His curly hair and freckled face were enough to send you into a fit within that short few seconds of seeing him. You want to talk to him, beckon him over do you can get to know him, but you wouldn’t dare to do so much as wave to him. He probably already has a girlfriend with those gorgeous eyes of his, and those perfectly soft looking lips.

Curiosity gets the better of you, and you sneak a peek back over the top of your laptop, wondering if he was still looking.

He was.

And he was walking right towards you.

Oh, this is the beat of my heart, this is the beat of my heart

“May I sit?” He asks gently, his smile showing of his brilliantly white teeth. Unable to so much as speak, you nod, quickly pulling your headphones out of your ears and praying that you won’t make a fool of yourself. He chuckles and seats himself across from you, his grey t-shirt hugging his arms as he adjusts himself. “Sorry for staring, I was just wondering how such a beautiful person could be here on their own.” He apologizes, flashing his smile at you once more. Yeah, I could say the same thing about you, you tell yourself, not willing to say that to him. Instead, you manage to smile sheepishly at him, your cheeks burning once more. A single best of silence passes, the awkwardness you just created by not responding looming in the air.

“Uh, I’m Philip.”

“Y-Y/N.” You manage to squeak. Philip quickly notices how uncomfortable you seemed, and shifted in his seat. “I can, uh, leave if yo-” “No! No it’s fine I’m just…” You stammer, not wanting him to go, but struggling to bring yourself out of your comfort zone. “Shy?” He finishes, a soft smile on his lips. You nod back, somewhat surprised how well he knew what you were going to say. “Don’t worry about it, I’m kinda the same way.” He reassures, gently closing the lip of your laptop. You blink slowly, unsure of how to take in the whole situation. “You? Shy? You’re the one that came over here…” You trail, raising an eyebrow at him. He chuckles at that, the warmth of his voice filling your chest, making it tighten.

“To be honest, it took almost everything I had in me to force myself over here.” He admits, rubbing the back of his neck. “You’re kidding.” It escapes your lips before you even have a chance to think about it. Philip, this guy sitting in front of you, leading the conversation, is shy? “My friends make fun of me for it all the time.” “Me too! They’re relentless about it, too.” You agree excitedly, a growing energy growing between the two of you. “

“Do they constantly trying to put you in situations that you get nervous about?”

“Feel like you rather die than do public speaking?”

“Yes!” You and Philip simultaneously laugh, smiling brightly at the fact of how well you knew each other.

“Hey, Y/N?” Philip asks, still giggling somewhat.

“Yeah?”

“I think we’re going to get along just fine.”

  • Sister: What if instead of Anthony Ramos' face replacing everyone else's, everyone was John Laurens
  • Me: Oh no. Nothing would get done. Everyone one would be too busy dueling each other, just, "HAMILTON IS MINE!"
  • Sister: *laughing* Y E S
  • Me: And like, you know who'd win a duel between John Laurens and John Laurens?
  • Sister: John Laurens?
  • Me: The doctor, aka also John Laurens. The two dueling would shoot each other. And then the seconds would shoot each other because they'd duel, and totally forget the doctor was John Laurens.
  • Sister: YES
  • Me: But all of the John Laurens would live in the same mansion, and like-
  • Sister: Hamilton's just crying in a corner, and a John Laurens is trying to console him, but another John Laurens shoots that John Laurens, and then another John Laurens goes to console Hamilton,and there'd just be a pile of dead John Laurens next to Hamilton. And Hamilton is just like, non-stop crying.
  • Me: "I've seen John die so many times!"
  • Sister: Basically
  • Me: Anyway, but like, all of the John Laurens would live in the same mansion, and like, the original John Laurens would be non-stop hiding from the others, living in the walls, and there's like, a hole in a few of the walls where he just watches the other John Laurens. And there's like a bunch of them that everyday at dawn they crab walk through the mansion with muskets all repeating in a creepy voice, "HAMILTON IS MINE" and Original John is just crying.
  • Sister: *crab walks* HAMILTON IS M I N E
  • Me: I NEED THIS IN A FIC