“This is all the fault of Labor trying to aggressively demand we have renewable energy! As you can see, tackling climate change has caused serious damage! Coal wouldn’t have done this to us!” Turnbull said at a press conference. “Coal would’ve been supportive, it promised it’d always be by our side when we needed it most. I trust coal.” He sniffled a little at the fond memory of his gentle lover.
“The claim that this giant fucking storm that took out transmission lines is completely unrelated to the blackout right now. Sure, some people might claim that climate change is a leading factor in increasingly larger and more damaging storms, and that’s why we need renewables, but clearly those “scientists” are the people who are to blame for this state-wide black out.”
“So to further reiterate my point… if we just replaced renewable energy with coal, and then also electricity transmission poles with coal, then we will have a very coal electricoal infrastructure… coal.” Turnbull said.
“Are you just being paid by political donors every time you say the word “coal”?” asked a journalist.
“No not at coal. That’s incoalrrect. Vote coalition.”