Yesterday I realized that colorguard is legitimately the only thing that I love doing, even if we have a bad show or don’t make finals, colorguard is my passion and I am so happy to be a part of this sport
As the days go by, I’m getting more and more nervous about my Crown audition. I’m starting to doubt myself and have second thoughts and that’s not good because now it’s almost too late to change my mind. I need to commit to it. But I’m so scared that I’m not good enough… :/
My final performance of my high school guard career. It’s so bittersweet. I’m so thankful that my senior season was the best we’ve ever had. I am so proud of my girls and I’ll miss them a lot. This was the most emotional performance I’ve ever had.
I’m crying in the bottom picture btw (front left)
As much as I love my guard girls, I really wish that I could audition for an independent guard. I feel like I am talented, but that my talents are being held back. But there is no way my mother would let me audition somewhere else. She wouldn’t drive me to the auditions or practices, and wouldn’t let me drive myself. And she doesn’t want me to audition for drum corps either yet but I’m determined to do that this year. Right now, I’m starting to forget why I fell in love with guard. It’s boring to me now. We’re always using the same work year after year, and I’m not learning anything new. It’s not what I want to be doing right now. I’m really jealous of Kenzi for auditioning and making it at RiverCity Independent. I wish I could be doing the same, but nope. I’m stuck here, with no choice, no options.
I can’t wait until I’m out of high school and I can spin with a real independent winterguard and do drum corps.