reminds me of all the good times with my sister

Ah, my printer wasn’t allowing me to scan anything! TT_TT So here, a picture will have to do. Maybe I will be able to scan a better version and add it to my original post later if I can get it to work!
Anyway, I LOVED Simonvs! It was so well written, the big unveiling of Blue was fantastic, and all the little moments in between were perfect. I especially love that moment where Simon’s older sister blocks an attacking pillow with her feet. It reminded me of the antics my sibling and I made :)
I’m glad I finished just in time! Between all my schoolwork, extracurriculars, dance, and just everything going on I was worried I wouldn’t have time to enter. In the end I decided to draw a fall scene with Bram and Simon in honor of this fall contest! Good luck and Oreos to all!

a conversation reminded me of this one time my friend thought I killed someone because I was watching the fault in our stars and I started sending her messages and it was supposed to go like

“I’m watching the fault in our stars”

“it’s not quite how I imagined it”

“oh dear”

“okay that was not a good thing”

“not a good thing at all”

“I think he’s going to die”

“my sister’s crying what do I do”

“yeah he’s going to die”

“aaaaaand he’s dead”

“oh okay the first one didn’t send I’m watching tfios by the way”

and since I live in rural scotland my wifi has this habit of fucking up every so often when I’m trying to send stuff like this and as a result every single one of these messages sent except the first one and the last one, resulting in my friend assuming I had accidentally murdered someone and traumatised my sister, and since my explanations refused to send I was getting this stream of

“what are you talking about”

“what did you do”

“are you okay”

“wHAT DID YOU DO THIS TIME”

this episode wasn’t good but it reminded me of why i will always love bellamy. he tries so hard all the time. you can see him breaking when he admits his mistakes. he wanted so badly to save his people. he wanted so badly to do good. he sacrificed his soul for it. he keeps doing it. he turns himself into a monster. but everything he’s ever done, it was for others. it’s all he’s been taught. this is the boy who used to read greek myths to his sister in hushed tones. the boy who shared his food with her and went for guard training later. the boy who was selfish once and spent everything he had trying to make up for it. this is the boy who let the girl, who promised to lead with him, go so she could nurse her broken heart. and his kept breaking. he let his sister beat him up because he felt like she’d feel better. this is the boy who’s lost and taken and killed and lost some more, because he wanted to do right.

he’ll break for his people. fight for his people. die for them. sell his soul for them. this boy hates himself and will likely never give himself a free pass for anything. even if he deserves one. he always wants to atone so badly. he has this warped sense of narcissism where everything is his fault. and he’ll probably try to atone for that too. he’s dramatic and sad. he loves his guns and his books. he’s so broken and complex and complicated. but he’s so willing to keep trying. keep protecting them. learn and change and become better.

and i guess, i want him to be happy. i want him to smile easy, without those shadows underneath his eyes. i want him to laugh loudly. i want him to take a goddamn break. i want him to know that he deserves nice things sometimes. i want him to kiss someone pretty and who makes him giggle. i want him to be so happy, he’s surprised at it.

i will love him forever, i think.