remind you to breath

People often ask ‘how is life treating you?’ Perhaps the more accurate question is ‘how are you treating yourself?’
—  Sepi Tajima
A Lesson in Love (A Different Perspective)

Summary: (College!AU) In which you’re assigned to write a story about romance, a subject you know nothing about, and Bucky, a hopeless romantic, offers you his assistance.

Pairing: Bucky x Reader

Word Count: 4,431

A/N: The tag list for this story is CLOSED. 

“A Lesson in Love” Masterlist + Soundtrack

@avengerstories - You are the forever best for editing for me.

Originally posted by skylerlockerbie

“I can’t believe you’ve never been to a track meet before.”

“I’ve never had a reason to come to one,” you say, defending yourself against Wanda’s accusatory tone and disapproving gaze.

“That’s no excuse,” she responds with a click of her tongue. “Now hurry up, we need to secure a good spot.”

You follow her blindly, not knowing what qualifies as a ‘good spot’. Unlike Wanda who has spent years attending track meets with her brother, you’ve never been to one. Like you told her, you never had a reason to attend one. Not until today.

Not until T'Challa.

Keep reading

I was doing well, and then one thing hit and after that I can barely lift my head up from everything thats crashed down onto me.
And half of it is because of you.
After you left, I hid my feelings so well that I even forgot I felt them. I used forgetting as a way to heal, I forgot to feel the emotions that come after a breakup and I was doing so well because of that.
But now I’m remembering. And since I’ve started I cant stop. I remember being there the first time our hands intertwined and I remember the way it felt to be so close to you. and I remember every single phone call that we had. And all that may sound nice, because it did make me smile, it did make me laugh thinking about the things you’d say but then it just hurt because your not here. none of that is here anymore.
You use to text me in all caps saying you loved me and now you don’t even look in my direction. You can’t even say hello anymore..
And it hurts, because now that I remember how it felt to be there, to have you, to love and be loved, I miss you.
I miss you so damn much and I can’t breathe because suddenly I’m reminded of when you ended things. and then the picture flashes through my mind of you with her.
And now I can’t even get out of bed anymore because life hurts too damn much.
Because I’m reminded of how people can wake up one day and decide that they don’t love you anymore. and I’m so scared that everyone I have ever known will leave.
.
—  you screwed me up
like real people do p.2 | jungkook

summary: the feelings for your friends with benefits are changing. months pass, and you feel your gut telling you that you want more. you’re just not sure if he feels the same.

college student!reader, friends with benefits!jungkook

piece 1, piece 2

this component is based off russ’s cherry hill

Keep reading

First Kiss | Jungkook

Masterlist |

Pairing: Jungkook x reader

Genre: Fluff

Words: ~4,5k

Synopsis: “I love oreos, but you know that thing after you eat them and your teeth are black and it looks like you’re on some crazy drugs and your teeth are rotting or something?” You snickered at your own explanation and the way Jungkook’s mouth was open agape, eyes squinted as he tried to picture the image you were so unskillfully painting. “It’s annoying, but you still like them. It’s the same for you.

A/N: I’m a bit rusty. I hope it’s not terrible. For @maroukimarouki

Originally posted by vernonymous


It was Saturday night, just one of many you had spent with them. The setting of your friendly reunion was nothing special, just the chaotic living room of their dorm. The feast you were enjoying was not expensive wine or exotic cheeses, but coke, chips and gummy worms; and you could have not been happier, stuffing doritos in your mouth until you were about to choke, to perfectly recite the lines of Cypher Killer without stuttering —at least if you did not want to carry a penalty out.

Keep reading

How to pick yourself up

So I realized last night that I have this down to a science.

Too busy to shower and feel gross, don’t feel good and it shows outwardly, been cramped inside and no reason to look nice so you put no effort into anything? Same.

1.) Wash and exfoliate your face. Cold water.
2.) Moisturize.
3.) Drink a big glass of water and/or tea.
4.) Put on a few coats of mascara and sparkly earrings if you do that.
5.) Put on a new shirt and leggings or nicer pants instead of sweatpants.
6.) Pull your hair up so you’re not being reminded of its state.
7.) If you can, step outside and breathe deeply. Five seconds in, five seconds out.

8.) Realize that it’s just an episode and your life doesn’t suck. And you’re beautiful or handsome or absolutely rad. Chin up.

the forest is singing for you. the wind harmonizing with the trees. the birds calling lullabies into the ears of any creature that will listen. hooves hitting the ground like drumbeats. howls of glory. chirps from insects that just want to remind you that they are there, they are important. the forest breathes music. it’s singing you to sleep.

i am watching over this orchestra. i am the conductor. i will defend these beings with all of my soul.

listen to the melody as you sleep, my friend. the forest is singing for you. 

Teen Wolf Preference - Fake Dating

DEREK HALE

Derek couldn’t believe you had convinced him into doing this.

“You want me to what?” he’d asked, not sure if he’d heard you correctly.  

“I just need you to pretend to be my boyfriend for this event since… I kinda already told everyone that you’re my boyfriend and you were coming. There’ll be free food and alcohol and you won’t even have to talk to many people!”

This had naturally intrigued Derek but there had been something that he couldn’t help but ask you.

“Really? You picked me for your big fake boyfriend plan? You know I don’t… get along well with people around here. Why not Parrish?”

Derek could see Parrish pulling up now at the event in his police uniform. Parrish wasn’t a bad guy but Derek couldn’t help but clench his fists at the sight of him. He wasn’t one to get jealous easily but this guy just put his teeth on edge.

“Shit! Parrish! Why didn’t I think of that?” you’d said angrily, shaking your head, “well, it’s too late. Will you just please go with me, Derek? It’s just one night. We can fake break up the next day.”

Derek had then thought for a moment, making sure to avoid your eye. You had a particular pleading look that you often gave him that made it hard for him to ever say no to you. But he couldn’t resist and looked at you, and it was then that he decided that he was going to be a part of your fake dating charade and he was going to be the best fake date there ever was.

“You came!”

Derek was pulled out of his trance, turning to see you hurrying towards him with a grin on your face.

“I said I would, didn’t I?”

You shook your head, “I just wasn’t sure. Wow, you look really good, you should wear suits more often.”

“I always look good,” he offered his hand, smiling a little as you took it. Your hand was so tiny compared to his. “You don’t look too bad either.”

That was an understatement. Derek always thought you looked gorgeous but right now, he was so blown away by how beautiful you looked that he had to remind himself to breathe.

Gee, thanks. We’re running a bit behind – I’d planned to have at least 2 drinks by now.”

The event was in full swing and Derek felt like he was in high school again. First of all, the event was being held in the school’s hall as the community one was under construction and second of all, he found himself watching protectively over you as he heard several greasy men comment on how good you looked.

“I was wondering when the two of you were going to get together,” Jordan Parrish congratulated the two of you, avoiding Derek’s intimidating stare, “all (Y/N) ever talked about was ‘how hot Derek is’.”

Your eyes widened, taking a rather large sip of your drink as you elbowed Jordan ‘playfully’.

“I did not!”

All throughout the night people had approached you and Derek and gave similar comments (minus the snarky one Jordan gave), saying that they’d seen the two of you out on dates and were wondering when you were going to call it official. In all honesty, neither you or Derek had considered your outings to be dates but now that he was thinking back on it, he wondered if he should start considering them as just that.

Derek proceeded to smile as Jordan winced from the hit you gave him, “well, it was a surprise to me actually. I had always thought the two of you were going to get together.”

“Nah, (Y/N) has only ever had eyes for you!” Jordan glanced at your now nearly empty glass, “want a refill?”

“God, yes please. I’m gonna be needing something heavier at this rate.”

“Completely agree with you.” and with a wink, Jordan disappeared back through the crowd towards the bar and Derek shifted his focus back to you.

“I feel a bit stupid for being jealous of him now,” he admitted, smelling the embarrassment on you which only caused his smile to widen more. Derek honestly couldn’t remember smiling this much since he was a teenager and it turned out a lot of people at the event were being a lot kinder to him because of it.

“Yeah, well, I picked you as my fake boyfriend for a reason. It’s believable and everyone seems to already think it was happening.”

You wished Jordan would hurry up with that drink.

Derek could hear your heart racing and you glanced up at him, something seeming to occur to you as a surprised expression dawned on your face.

“Holy shit – you don’t actually like me, do you?”

He leaned closer to you, his grin seeming rather wolfish now.

“By the sounds of it,” he pointed to your heart, “you feel the same way.”

Derek was now the one taken aback as very quickly, you closed the gap between the two of you and pressed a hard kiss against his lips.

“Stupid werewolf powers.” Was all you said as a low growl came from the back of Derek’s throat, Jordan now walking up from behind you with drinks in his hand. Derek wanted to desperately kiss you just a little longer but as his eyes met briefly with yours, he knew the whole dating charade was going to become a lot more realistic and there was going to be endless amount of time to kiss you.


ISAAC LAHEY

“Sorry man. You probably won’t have a lot to contribute to the conversation considering you’ve never had a girlfriend,” Stiles teased for what felt like the millionth time as he and Isaac stood by the lockers waiting for the rest of the group to arrive.

Stiles had just asked him for advice for an upcoming date but then took it back quickly saying he probably would just ask Scott about it in the car. A low growl escaped Isaac’s lips as he tried to remind himself that Stiles just wasn’t worth it as the idiot seemed to get off on annoying him. And unfortunately, it was working and sometimes Isaac was just a bit impulsive.

“Well, not one that you know of.”

Stiles’s eyebrow quirked up and a Grinch like smile came across his face, wondering if he was hearing this right.

“A girlfriend in fourth grade doesn’t count,” he reminded and Isaac’s hands balled into fists.

“I’m not supposed to talk about it.” Because it isn’t real, Isaac thought.

Stiles nodded, “oh, yeah right, sure, sure.”

The tone in his voice was enough for Isaac to glance around and see you and Lydia walking in the opposite direction of where he was standing. You and Isaac weren’t close but you got along like a house on fire, regularly working together on pack ‘missions’ or sometimes you just studied together in the library. He’d been asked several times if he was interested in you, all those times he just shrugged as an answer but if anyone was to believe he was dating someone, you would be a good candidate.

“(Y/N),” Isaac said, “(Y/N) and I have been dating.”

Stiles looked as if he’d just discovered gold.

“(Y/N)? You want me to believe that? She’s way out of your league!” and then he was shouting, “(Y/N)! Are you and Isaac dating?”

Lydia and you stopped your walking, Lydia raising her eyebrows at you as you turned around slowly. Everyone in the hallway seemed to go quiet, interested in this little bit of gossip and you met with Isaac’s horrified eyes.

“Uh, yes?” was all you said before continuing on your way, Lydia beginning to smack you excitedly at discovering this information as Stiles turning back to Isaac.

“I can’t believe you weren’t just fucking with me. You should invite her to come bowling with all of us tomorrow night – Lydia will be there so she won’t feel so weird. I seriously can’t believe you landed a girlfriend like that, fuck.”

Isaac couldn’t believe that he’d landed a fake girlfriend like that either.

That night, Isaac found himself climbing into your bedroom and nearly scaring you half to death.

“What the shit?” you hissed, pausing the show you were watching, “first you say we’re dating and now you’re climbing through my window? Did I miss something?”

He smiled sheepishly, brushing off a few sticks that got caught in his sweater while trying to climb up through your window.

“Uh, I know normal people just text but I thought I should just ask you in person. I didn’t really think this through –,”

You cut him off, “yeah, I can see that.”

“But, fuck this is stupid. Stiles was being a dick and I kind of just said you were my girlfriend so he’d leave me alone. I didn’t think he’d actually, uh, ask you about it but do… you wanna go bowling with the group of us tomorrow?”

You’d always had a crush on Isaac. He was one of the first guys to ever really notice you and see you for more than just your looks and you wanted to throw one of your pillows at him and demand he take you out on a proper date because you genuinely liked him. But even though he freaked you out a bit by abruptly climbing through your window at that time of night, you couldn’t resist him.

“Fine. But before you leave, I already answered a bunch of our relationship questions to Lydia so you’ll have to learn them. And you’re paying for my shoes and games for bowling. Oh, and when we fake break up, it’ll be a mutual break up and it can’t be weird.”

You weren’t particularly eager to be out bowling with the group. You got along well with everyone and they were being overly nice to you ever since they found out you and Isaac were ‘dating’. A few times Stiles had said to you ‘really, Isaac?’ but other than that, no one really questioned it. The people in the group who were wolves didn’t even suspect that the two of you were faking the whole ordeal because they could hear how fast your heart rates were when you were around one another, which made everything much easier.

“Lydia said she invited you to come earlier in the week but you said no.” Isaac said, his arm wrapped around you rather lazily as you watched Scott get up for his first go. It felt rather natural for the two of you to be like this, having small touches here and there and sneaking each other little glances. It was comfortable and you had to remind yourself that this was all supposed to be a charade.

“Uh, did I forget to mention that I can’t bowl?”

“You know you’re up next, right?”

You nodded, “yeah, that’s why I’m just a bit nervous.”

Scott got a strike, grinning as he turned to the group who were all rolling their eyes at the unfairness of him having werewolf abilities which were a rather big help in the situation. You wished you had the abilities because you had no idea what you were about to do.

“C’mon,” Isaac helped you to your feet, picking up your ball for you and beginning to walk towards your lane.

“Seriously? What are you doing?”

He handed you the ball, smiling a little and back at the seats the two of you were already earning a few ‘awes’.

“I’ll help you, it’s the least I can do,” he handed you the ball and you held it in the hand you were most comfortable with as he began to help line you up correctly, “aren’t we just relationship goals?”

You laughed rather nervously and Isaac stood behind you, his back pressed against yours and you did your best to concentrate on your bowling but it was proving to be difficult.

“Just move sort of like… this,” he murmured into your ear and as he showed you the throwing movement the second time around, you released the ball and it went flying down the middle of the lane, hitting all the pins except one.

“Oh my god,” a grin came across your face as you turned around to Isaac who couldn’t quite believe it either, “oh my god!”

You flung your arms around his neck, kissing him excitedly and Isaac nearly fell backwards at the sudden action. Eagerly though, he kissed you back, enjoying the feeling and hoping that you’d do this every time you did well in the game.

“How come you don’t do that when I do well?” Scott asked Kira from their seats and she nudged him playfully.

Realising that you had to bowl once more and everyone was watching the two of you with stupid grins on their faces, you shyly pulled away and began to walk back to get another ball. Triumphantly, Isaac walked back to the group who might as well have been clapping for him and Lydia patted his arm.

“It’s about time the two of you got together. (Y/N) always talked about how much she liked you but you just ‘didn’t like her back’. I swear if you break her heart I’ll break you.” She smiled sweetly and Isaac, who had to admit was a little intimidated, smiled back as you successfully knocked down your final pin.

“Not planning on it, Lydia.”


LIAM DUNBAR

“I think I left my lacrosse jersey at your place,” you were startled by your ex-boyfriend who was now standing beside your locker, an annoyed look on his face as if it were you fault that he’d misplaced his belongings.

“You never took any of your lacrosse gear to my house.” You told him coolly, shutting your locker which you weren’t actually done looking in and attempting to walk away from him. To your annoyance, he followed.

“Well, if you see it then tell me,” he said and you rolled your eyes. The two of you had been broken up for 3 months, you were certain you would have come across it by now. “How’re you going anyway? Any new guys in your life?”

The last bit he said with an amused tone, causing you to clutch your bag just a bit tighter. You knew if you said no that he’d proceed to tell you the long list of girls that were in his life now – some of which were in his life while the two of you were dating.

“Yeah, believe it or not I actually have a boyfriend.”

You saw a group of guys up ahead being rather rowdy and spotted Liam Dunbar, the guy you were planning to find just earlier because he’d promised you his research notes from one of your classes.

“Oh, really? Do I know them?”

You knew you should’ve just made up a name of some guy that went to another school but because you just happened to be looking at Liam, you couldn’t help it.

“Liam.”

Your ex looked surprised, “Dunbar? Seriously?”

At that moment, Liam looked up, having been listening in on your conversation and he was just as confused too. You couldn’t believe you picked someone so obvious – and someone that was on the same team as your ex as well. You weren’t going to get away with this.

“Um… yeah?”

Liam sensed your embarrassment and excused himself from the group of friends he was talking to. It was well known that he hated your ex and any opportunity to annoy him was valuable.

“Hey babe!” he said cheerfully as he approached you, trying not to laugh at how red you went as he placed a kiss on your cheek, “everything alright here?”

Your ex, to your relief, stepped away, “everything’s fine, man. (Y/N), if you see the jersey let me know.”

When your ex was safely out of sight, you turned to Liam who had a smug smile on his face.

“How – why?” you stammered, not really sure how you’d just managed that.

“I hate that guy,” he said, “don’t worry, I won’t tell anyone we’re not really dating. We make a cute couple anyway, even if it’s fake.”

“What? Liam, you don’t have to do this. I was just being stupid.”

He shook his head, “he’s just told about 5 people that we’re dating. It’ll be fun! We can get back at that guy all while doing our assignments. It’s a win-win situation.”

And so the fake relationship began. To your surprise, you greatly benefited from the situation. Creepy guys stopped bothering you, if you ever needed to get warm Liam was perfectly fine with you just walking into his arms while he talked with some friends and you ended up making more friends of your own. Some of the seniors he hung around became protective of you and Lydia Martin, of all people, started casually talking to you and giving you advice whenever you needed it. You often forgot that you weren’t really dating because whenever you were around Liam, your heart raced and you got butterflies as if you were actually hanging out with someone you had feelings for. It wasn’t until you sometimes saw your ex around the school who made snide and rude comments about the two of you that you remembered what was going on.

“You’re all sweaty,” you laughed as you and Mason went onto the field after one of the lacrosse games to congratulate Liam. He had a large grin on his face, pulling off his lacrosse helmet and Mason gave him a high five.

“Usually after sports people get sweaty. Weird, isn’t it?” Mason said as you gave Liam a short congratulatory hug, “poor Devenford Prep though… I should probably go and see if Brett’s alright…”

“Yeah, I’m sure you’re really concerned about his feelings,” Liam said sarcastically as Mason ignored him, walking over to the opposite (and losing) team.

“So, how does it feel to win against your old school?”

“Quite amazing, actually,” he paused, “he’s watching again. Doesn’t he have anything better to do?”

You shrugged, knowing exactly who Liam was talking about, “maybe we should give him a show.”

You had been joking – kind of. And Liam knew that but he couldn’t resist. He dropped his helmet, cupping your face and kissing you passionately. You no longer cared about how sweaty he was as you kissed him back, a part of you relieved that you were finally getting to do this.

You pulled away slightly, smiling like an idiot and Liam began to lean in again.

“He’s not even watching anymore,” you told him and he shook his head.

“I just really like kissing you.”

And then you kissed him again.

SCOTT MCCALL

“This is just relationship…ist,” you said angrily as you and Scott sat in the library working on an assignment together. Scott raised an eyebrow, half listening as he was actually working while you were flicking through a free Beacon Hills magazine that you could always find lying around the town in random places.

“I have no idea what you’re going on about.”

You put the magazine down in front of him so he had to actually look away from what he was doing, pointing to the ad on the page.

“Couples get a 50% discount at the Canary. Couples are the ones that can actually afford to be there, single people should be the ones getting the discount.”

Scott pushed the magazine back towards you, amused by your reaction.

“What’s so good about the restaurant, anyway?” he asked and you looked at him in disbelief.

“How – how could you ask that? The food is the best food I’ve ever eaten. It makes you want to cry rainbows it’s so good.”

He snorted, “if you let me do my work I’ll be your fake boyfriend and go with you.”

“You know the way to my heart, McCall.”

You told maybe one person that you and Scott were going for the discounted food and the word got out like Chinese whispers. Soon, everyone ignored the fact you were just going to a restaurant together and were talking about how the two of you were now dating. Both of you, even with Scott’s werewolf senses, were oblivious to the rumours and were sitting at lunch together when Stiles was the first person to sit down with the both of you.

“I can’t believe you two,” he said, you having your mouth full with your lunch but raising an eyebrow at him, “you’re dating and you didn’t even tell me.”

You nearly choked on your food.

“Where’d you hear that?” Scott asked casually, not denying the claim.

“From fucking Lindsay of all people! She wanted to know how long it’d be going on – how come everyone knew before your best friend?!”

You looked at Scott and to your surprise, he shrugged.

“We were going to keep it a secret.”

That was when the rest of the group sat down at the table.

“So it’s true then?” Lydia asked, looking between you and Scott and he took your hand, giving it a small squeeze.

“Yes, we’re dating,” and then he looked at you, “and we’re going to get a discount at the Canary. I want to cry rainbows.”

You knocked at Scott’s front door on Saturday night, ready for your fake date. The two of you had found the whole fake dating thing to be rather amusing, promising each other to keep it up until after the restaurant date and then saying that you would break up afterwards because you realised you were just ‘better off as friends’.

As Scott didn’t have a car you said you’d drop by his place after he was done practicing lacrosse with Stiles and Liam that day. Usually you didn’t mind just going on the back of his motorbike to places but tonight you actually got dressed up a little bit and you couldn’t risk having helmet hair or your makeup getting smudged.

“(Y/N)!” Melissa grinned as she opened the door, “come on in. Scott got home later than expected and he’s nearly ready. God, I’m so glad he finally got the guts to ask you out. He’s always gushing about his feelings for you and how he just doesn’t know what to do about it. He adores you, really.”

“Really, mum?” Scott said, knowing he was too late in defusing the embarrassing situation as he came walking quickly down the stairs.

“I’m your mother, it’s my job to embarrass you,” Melissa teased, “I guess that’s my cue to leave the two of you alone. Have fun – be safe!”

You only managed to yell a goodbye because Scott was pushing you out of the door, eager to get out of the situation.

“Don’t,” he warned, knowing you were ready to mention what had just happened, “you look amazing, by the way.”

“It’s not often I dress up like this so you better appreciate it. So should the discounted food, which I’m highly looking forward to.”

The Canary was filled with couples of all ages and you and Scott fit right in as plates of food were being placed in front of you.

“Are we going to be able to eat this all?” you asked.

“(Y/N), I’m a guy who also happens to be a werewolf. I could finish all of this on my own.”

He had a fair point.

The two of you were complimented several times by waiters for being such a cute couple, you both accepting these compliments graciously but with bright red faces. Ever since Melissa made the comment earlier about the two of you, you couldn’t help but wonder if she was joking because you’d always thought it was just you that liked him.

“What is it?” Scott asked, noticing your wondering expression. You gave a small shrug, feeling awfully shy which you weren’t usually like around him.

“Do you really gush about having feelings for me?”

This time, he was the shy one. Scott poked at his food, his cheeks reddening which they had been on and off throughout the night.

“I wouldn’t say I gushed about it,” he finally admitted, “but I do talk about liking you a bit.”

STILES STILINSKI

Saturday night had been a blur. The last memory you had was agreeing to do shots with Stiles and the next day you woke up safely tucked in bed (thanks to Scott) just before you launched yourself to the toilet to begin your day of being hungover. You felt like shit. And even on Monday morning as you walked into school you had a faint throbbing in your head and you were drinking more water when Stiles arrived.

“I’m never drinking alcohol again,” was the first thing you said to him, noticing he looked a similar way to you.

“Tell me about it,” he agreed, “but we say that all the time.”

You leaned against his side, waiting for the others to arrive when you got your first ‘congratulations’ from someone. Neither of you were sure what the person was congratulating you on but you thanked them anyway. Then it happened again when a girl from your English class walked past, lifting her hand to high five you.

“I heard about Saturday! It’s about time you two got together!” she said excitedly before walking into school.

“Do you have any idea what’s going on?” you asked, confused as to what you just witnessed as Stiles shook his head.

“I spent yesterday in the toilet. I didn’t even turn my phone on because the brightness made me sick.”

You waited a little longer and then Stiles suddenly perked up.

“Dude, there’s Theo. I saw him at the party on Saturday with that guy – I think he’s trying to get him to join his weird ass pack,” Stiles tried to tell you quietly, hoping that Theo was listening in.

“Or he could be into guys?”

“Well, you two were certainly a sight for sore eyes,” Kira suddenly said, appearing beside the two of you and making you jump. When she noticed the confused, she elaborated. “On Saturday, I mean. I didn’t know that getting the two of you together meant getting you drunk and having you confess your love to one another but man, it worked. That was gross.”

You and Stiles nearly had a heart attack. Quickly, you stepped away from one another, sharing a confused stare just as the bell went. Kira looked between the two of you but didn’t say anything, leaving you two alone as she entered the school on her own. Rather than say anything, you and Stiles went your separate ways.

During second period, your phone buzzed in your pocket. You glanced at the message from Stiles which simply read to meet him at your spot. Your teacher was reluctant to let you leave but when you did, you nearly sprinted to the spot under the third floor corridor staircase where Stiles was waiting clearly agitated. It seems you weren’t the only one having people come up to you and congratulate you on officially dating Stiles and that many people saw your proclamation of love which neither of you can remember.

“Do you remember?” you began but Stiles suddenly pulled you to him, putting a hand over your mouth. You were confused, only to hear Theo’s voice echoing the corridor and you got the idea. You tried to listen in with him but Theo stopped talking and soon you heard footsteps coming towards where the two of you were hiding.

Stiles swiftly kissed you, causing you to freeze up. You weren’t sure whether to pull away or to kiss him back, only to understand what he was doing when Theo finally stopped in front of the two of you.

“Whoa, Theo!” Stiles pulled away, “can’t a couple just have a few moments of peace?”

Theo’s eyebrows furrowed, “so the rumours are true.”

“The rumours? Didn’t you see us at the party?” Stiles wrapped his arm around you and you smiled sheepishly. Your teacher was gonna be pissed at how late you were going to be.

“Must’ve left by then.”

“With your guy friend?” you blurted out and Stiles tried to stifle a laugh. Theo decided it was best to ignore you – which it was – and began to walk back to class that he was obviously avoiding as well.

You looked at Stiles with a questioning expression but he shook his head, “we’ll talk about this later.”

You never talked about it later but you had a silent agreement to continue the fake dating. Both of you watched one too many movies and had the idea that if you did the couple getting caught making out when you were actually searching into something you shouldn’t be then it was a win-win deal. You were just too nosy.

“We’re basically detectives,” Stiles said, the two of you hidden in a corner of a club watching a group of suspected chimeras. The two of you had been awfully touchy the past few days, both of you trying to convince yourselves it was all just a charade but it wasn’t. If you were able to convince your friends that you were dating, the people you were closest to, then it wasn’t really fake.

“Do you wanna go home and watch Star Wars?” you yelled over the music and Stiles leaned his forehead against yours.

“You are perfect for me.” He said, grabbing your and leading you out of the club. Your heart was racing and even when you got to the car, Stiles continued to hold your hand on the drive back to his place.


“For our detective work, right?” you said jokingly to him when he pulled into the driveway, Stiles walking quickly around to your side of the car to open the door for you.

Stiles leaned in and kissed you, “this has never been about the detective work.”

THEO RAEKEN

“Leave me alone,” you said for the third time to a guy that hadn’t stopped trying to chat you up during the last big lacrosse game. You looked around, trying to find someone you knew to go to for help but the crowds of people all looked the same.

“Why? You got a boyfriend?”

“Why should that matter? Leave me alone.”

You tried to remember how to throw a punch – you even considered making a scene by yelling loudly for the creep to get away from you. But your rescuer stepped out of the shadows, wrapping their arm around you and you nearly punched them in the face until you saw who it was.

“This guy bothering you, babe?” Theo Raeken said sternly and the guy put his hands in the air.

“Hey! No problem here, Raeken!”

“Really?” Theo stepped towards him, “because you better not be bothering my girlfriend.”

Despite how scared you were, your heart was filling with butterflies for all the wrong reasons. You had Theo in a few of your classes and god, you found him insanely attractive. He was always sweet towards you and now you were never going to be able to thank him enough.

“I’m not! I was just leaving, I swear!”

You’d never seen someone move so quickly.

When he disappeared into the crowd, Theo turned to you and gave you the most charming smile. You knew about his powers and was fully aware that he could probably smell your lust and nervousness.

“Don’t mention it,” he winked before disappearing as well and you couldn’t help but smile like an idiot.

The next week you were sitting in the library on your own when Theo sat down beside you again, putting his arm around you. Your heart got caught in your throat as you glanced up at him, Theo seeming very comfortable and casual with the situation.

“Didn’t you hear?” he said with an amused tone, “everyone thinks we’re actually dating. I want to make sure they continue to think that so those guys will leave you alone.”

“What guys?”

“Over there. They’ve been saying some disgusting things about you and either I beat the shit out of them or they just get too freaked out to do anything in the first place,” he paused, “you’re cute when you’re nervous.”

You ignored him, “so, what? You’re fake dating me now?”

“Do you mind? I think it’d be fun.”

Theo took your answer as a yes when you blushed and look hastily away.

The next few weeks went past in a blur. It all started out as a bit of fun and eventually you were comfortable enough with Theo to get a bit into it as well. He never did anything beyond holding your hand or wrapping his arms around you but soon you were beginning to realise you wanted more – and so did Theo. He tried to convince himself that he was just doing this as a nice gesture because he’d thought you were vulnerable but he came to realise that you were stronger than even he was. You impressed him and Theo found himself lying in bed at night wishing you were there and he got excited whenever he knew you were nearby.

It was another big lacrosse game and Theo was finishing up some personal business when he saw a guy attempting to take the seat that Theo had originally be sitting in and chat you up. He clenched his teeth, storming towards you and his heart jumped when you made eye contact and you smiled at him.

“Hey babe,” Theo said, leaning down to where you were sitting, cupping your cheek and kissing you hard on the lips. You froze up but kissed him back, the guy that had been attempting to hit on you moving far away as possible.

“Get a room!” someone yelled and Theo moved away, brushing his thumb against your cheek.

“You have no idea how long I’ve wanted to do that.”

You deserve someone who is gonna be there for you, constantly. Not someone who sends you to bed upset, knowing they did that. You deserve someone who is willing to hold your hand and remind you to take deep breaths and that its gonna be okay when you’re having a anxiety attack. Not someone who tells you to get over it or to calm down. You deserve someone who is willing to hear you out and understand that they hurt you when you’re upset. Not someone who tells you to stop being dramatic. You deserve someone who is willing to remember what you take in your coffee & not just his. You deserve someone who is willing to listen to you talk about why orca whales are your favorite animals. Not someone who just says “mhmm” or “yeah that’s cool”. You deserve someone who looks at you like he’s seen a ghost for the first time when you take off your clothes. Not someone who just wants to get down to business and not worth ship what he has in front of him. You deserve someone who is willing to actually listen and actually hear you out. Not someone who listens and has the words go out through one ear and out through the other. You deserve someone who is willing to hold your hand every time you stop at a red light because he knows that you have a small panic attack because of that one car crash that happened when you were stopped at a red light. Not someone who says “stop worrying you’re fine”. You deserve someone who wants to help you get better and help you through your mental illness. Not someone who says “maybe try going out with friends that may make you happy.” You deserve someone who is willing to let you still be your own person while in the relationship and to make sure you never lose sight of who you really are. Not someone who makes you wonder who you are. You deserve someone who makes you cry of laughter instead of tears of sadness. You deserve someone who understands why you have a love hate relationship with the rain. You deserve someone who looks at you like you’re magic because that’s what you are. You’re magic and don’t ever let any boy tell you different.
Tom Holland x Reader: Apartment

Summary: You and Tom Holland are neighbors in the same apartment complex. You have a crush on him, he has a girlfriend. What could go wrong? You could think of five separate incidents.

Warnings: cursing

Word count: 7,132


No 1: the coffee maker incident (which was all harrison’s fault)

The moment your knuckles leave the door it’s already swinging back, revealing a face flushed with relief. Tom Holland’s eyes flutter closed, leaning his head against the door frame and looking up at you through his lashes with a smile plastered on his face.

“Oh thank god you actually came. You’re good at fixing things, right?” he asked, ushering you into his apartment before hearing your answer. You’re a little reluctant to enter, thinking that you’ll somehow track mud across his pristine white carpet, or smudge a stain on his suede chairs that weren’t in there the last time you’d been over.

“I’m good at putting Ikea furniture together, if that’s what you mean,” you call after him as you hop around on one foot, attempting to slide your boots off without appearing like a fool. You look around once more, taking in the features of Tom’s place.

You can’t say you like what he’s done. There are too many colors; blues and yellows that are too bold, an abundance of throw pillows against a couch that you swear your parents had gushed over in a Rooms-To-Go catalog. None of it looks like him, and you have an inkling as to why, but you keep your mouth shut as you follow the sound of two voices into his kitchen.

“You help me with my T.V all the time. Are you good with stuff like this?” Tom inquires, looking at you over his shoulder. He’s standing in front of something, hunched over the island in the center of the room. On his left, staring at you over his mug, Harrison is sipping away on something.

There’s a smug look in his blue eyes that makes you want to tip his drink onto his shirt, but instead you ignore him, standing on Tom’s right. In front of you is a simple small coffee maker; not a Keurig, but something akin, you could imagine.

“What’s wrong with it?” you question, looking around the top and sides for damage. Tom has his knuckle in his mouth, looking worriedly at the device in front of him. You’ve never seen such an anxious look on his face and it makes your brows crease. “Tom?”

“Hm?” he says, snapping his eyes back to you. The normally sparkling brown hues are muddy, clouded with something you can’t identify. “It’s just… I don’t know what’s wrong with it. I noticed it was out of water and I went to refill it, but when I pressed the button, it wouldn’t make anything.”

Perplexed, you flipped open the lid, seeing nothing wrong. You checked the coffee ground compartment, seeing a pierced, but otherwise unused k-cup sitting in there. With crossed arms, you pressed the power button again, just to be certain.

The three of you watched as the machine’s light started to blink. You cut your eyes over to Tom, wondering what kind of stunt he was pulling. Opening your mouth to speak, you were cut off by the red light blinking out, only for nothing else to happen.

“See!” Tom cried out, fisting his hands in his hair. It curled out of his fist, making two small pony tails at the top of his head. Your eyes narrowed, realizing just how much his hair had grown in the past few months. You hadn’t seen too much of him to have a decent comparison, but you remembered it being much shorter.

“—just wait till she comes home and sees this broken! She’s going to kill me!” Your heart drops into your stomach, limbs suddenly feeling heavy. The coffee maker belonged to his girlfriend. You nodded, now understanding why he had sounded so urgent when he’d called you.

“You’re fucking Spider-Man, ya? Just go out and buy a new one with all that Marvel money,” Harrison pointed out, rolling his eyes as he took another sip of his drink. “She won’t even know the difference.”

“They don’t even make this stupid model anymore, she’s going to know it’s broken. And I didn’t even break it!” he exclaimed, his voice shaking with worry. “What am I going to do?”

“You’re going to calm the hell down, that’s what,” you chided, resting your hands on Tom’s shoulders. He relaxed under your touch, walking backwards as you steered him onto a bar stool. “It’s not the end of the world, dude, just breathe,” you reminded him, watching as his chest heaved heavily. Your hands felt warm as they slid down his arms, coming to rest on the island as you examined the coffee maker.

You drained it of its water, checking the main compartment for any irregularities. Immediately you noted a white film around the sides, and you paused, looking from the sink, to the device, and finally at Harrison.

“Harrison? What are you drinking?” you asked, pulling your phone from your back pocket and shining the flashlight down to the bottom.

“Hot chocolate,” he replied carefully, eyes darting between you and Tom. Peering down, you carefully wiped your finger against the bottom of the compartment, your nails scratching against a hard surface, coated with something.

“Haz, there’s no pot in the sink, or in the dishwasher. What—HAZ!” Tom growled, having put the pieces together. “Did you put milk in the coffee maker?”

“I mean, yeah,” he admitted a not-so-guilty look across his face. “It was sitting right there, and it was faster than heating up a pot.”

“Ah-ha,” you chuckled, closing one eye to look down into the coffee maker. “That would explain this weird shit covering the bottom of this thing.” You gave a pointed look at Harrison, who hadn’t even tried to look remorseful. “You do realize that when you don’t clean up heated milk, it leaves a hard coating on metal. This coffee maker basically has a hot plate that boils the water and then sucks in into a tube. My best guess it that the milk hardened, and the water can’t get through,” you assessed.

“Well how do we fix it?” Tom asked, crossing his arms and looking at you. He seemed to believe you had all the answers, and you bit your lip to hold back you stutters. You didn’t want to disappoint him, to make him think you weren’t the person for the job.

Cutting your eyes over at Harrison, you gave him a pointed look; you made it look reprimanding, but it was really to wipe the smirk off his face. He’d had a smug look since the moment you walked in and it bothered you, making the tips of your ears feel hot.

“Well for starters, don’t do it again,” you bit out, glaring daggers at Harrison. He didn’t reply, but he did walk out of the room, shrugging his shoulders as he walked behind you.

Tom noted the fixed stares you gave him, but said nothing of it. You pursed your lips before looking at the brunette, holding out your hand and asking for a knife.

He blinked, warily pulling out a butter knife and placing it into your palm. You frowned at it, turning it over in your hands. “I need a sharper one.”

Tom raised a brow, hazel eyes glimmering with suspicion. You snorted, wondering if he was actually afraid of you with a knife.

“What, you think I’m going to kill you or something?” You joked. You wondered for a moment if your joke was too dark for a guy who was just your neighbor, but he eventually chuckled, handing you a knife with a sharp, long blade. You gave him your phone, and asked him to shine it down into the machine. Silently, with the two of your heads close together, you both bowed your heads with work to do.

This was an awkward fifteen minutes. Every now and then Tom would pick his eyes up and watch as your face scrunched in concentration. Your lips would part as an almost inaudible curse passed through, making him laugh a bit. Every time you felt him move you would try not to catch his gaze, attempting to discreetly look at him. You could feel how close he was and it felt wrong that your heart was beating so fast, or that you couldn’t breathe.

After what felt like hours, you retracted, taking the machine to the sink to wash it out. You filled it and plugged it back in, waiting patiently with a mug as you started it.

Tom looked as though he was holding a breath, and sure enough, when the coffee streams out he sighed, leaning against the counter with his entire weight, looking as though he’s been saved from the fires of hell.

He turns, eyes shining in praise as he gushed a bunch of rushed thank you’s, his accent slurring everything together. You’re really just nodding and smiling, telling him that it’s fine and no big deal. You’ll tell yourself anything to get rid of the hammering in your chest, louder than construction work as you feel blood rush to your face.

“I seriously don’t know what I’d do without you.” He sounds like he’s speaking about your presence in general, but that can’t be true. All you’ve ever done for him was put together furniture and now fix his coffee maker, but he seems to like you, as a friend and neighbor. Which you’ll take.

“It’s no problem at all Tom. And it’ll be less of a problem if I can have this,” you pull the mug away, bringing the rich black coffee to your lips.

“Yeah, yeah, of course. Do you want to stay for a bit? I feel like you’re always in and out, and-“ his words die as his cell phone rings, the ringtone that default sound that makes you jump. He takes it, holding his hand up apologetically, but you shake your head. You weren’t going to stay anyways.

Grabbing your things, you pass Harrison, who looks pretty comfortable on a couch that isn’t his, sipping on the last of his hot chocolate. He smiles when you walk by, but it’s a knowing one, as though he can read your thoughts. You scoff, but before you can get your shoes back on, Harrison says, “You should be thanking me.”

That really riles you up, and you laugh, a forced, sarcastic thing. “For what?”

“If it wasn’t for me you wouldn’t be making any moves.” There’s a wink, but you don’t really care to return his comment. You strain out a “Bye, Harrison,” before closing the door and leaning your back against it.

The cup in your hand is scorching your palm, but you smile regardless. Another reason to knock on Tom’s door. 


No. 2: The incident where you meet his girlfriend and things go wrong

You had this sick feeling in your gut that toady wasn’t the best day to bring back the mug you borrowed from Tom. It was simply the day after, the most reasonable time to drop by and say, “hey, I forgot I took this” without seeming like you harbored it, or cast a spell on it. The little thing sat neatly in your hands, cradled gently as though it was made of crystal.

Your knock was verging on two minutes ago, so you decided to go again, wondering briefly if you should say his name. Calling him may have been a bad idea, but before you could form his name, the door swung back, revealing a brunette that was not Tom.

His girlfriend’s caramel colored hair was a cascade of freshly made curls, evident from the fact that her makeup and outfit were already complete. She lacked shoes, and a sense of hospitality, sizing you up like bully on a playground. When she reached your eyes, you balked, deciding whether it was better to state your purpose, or just drop the item near her feet and scram.  

It would have been much easier for her as well, until Tom caught your eyes from farther behind her. “Y/N?” he questioned, but excitedly, as though he was happy to see you. That made his girlfriend’s lip curl into a sneer, an action that didn’t go unnoticed by you.

“Oh, uh,” you started, wanting so bad to bolt, but transfixed by Tom’s smile and gentle demeanor. He was dressed, indicating that he was probably going out. And from the progress they both had on their outfits, you could guess it was possible they were going on a lunch date.

You felt foolish, your heart drooping in your chest as you resigned yourself to stick with the plan. What did you expect, that his girlfriend would just magically be missing every time you came into his apartment? A dumb idea, one fueled by your fluttering heart, but also by your jealous mind.

“I accidentally took this last time I was here. Sorry,” you said, holding the cup out to the girl. She dropped her eyes to the cup, but made no moves to take it from you. Her hands stayed rooted on the door, and you felt like you could melt under her scrutinizing gaze.

Tom saved you, however, taking the cup from your hands with care, wrapping his hand around it. Your hands brushed each other’s, and your fingertips felt so warm and fiery, igniting your nerves in flames. You looked up to send him a smile, but you caught the look his girlfriend gave you.

Her blue eyes startled you, being so wide and so angry at the same time. Her perfect nails seemed to dent into the metal door as she gripped it with all her might. Her posture was rigid, feet set apart in a fighting stance. You thought her unoccupied hand was going to reach out and punch your teeth out.

The silent threat made you jump, the ware slipping from your fingers and smashing to the floor before you had time to react. You could only pull your feet away and watch in horror as it fell on its handle, small shards of grey porcelain scattering across the floor.

You want to cry, curl up beside the shards and be swept away into a dust bin, you’re so mortified. To your right, she’s smiling a little, resting her hand on Tom’s shoulder as she proceeds to ask if he’s okay. She tiptoes to look over his shoulder, as though she wasn’t standing feet away when it happened. Milking the moment, you catch the glint in her eyes when she rubs his back, saying that she’ll get a broom.

Tom nods, saying a faint, “okay babe,” before he’s taken aback by the kiss she plants on his cheek. You note the pink mark it’s left, a small, but powerful reminder that he’s taken, and that no matter how shy and polite and cute and neighborly you are, there’s nothing you can do about it.

She casts a look that is part sinister and part mocking over her shoulder, but it turns into surprise as the door closes, Tom stepping out into the hall. He’s got his hands behind his back as the door clicks shut, leaving the two of you in the hall.

“Sorry about that, I don’t know how that happened.” He rubs the back of his neck now, as if he’s really considering the idea that he might have done this.

“No, you have nothing to be sorry about. I’m the one who broke it, I should be cleaning it up, I,” your head is fixed towards the ground, unable to meet his gaze. You really just want to walk away, but it was hard, with him so close to you, his height and yours almost the same. There’s no need for tilted heads when every time you look up, it’s just his eyes on yours, and it makes you so frustrated.

“I’m really sorry about this, I promise I’ll get you another one.” In some really nice universe, this is the part where Tom chuckles and says “You don’t have to do that. Just go on a date with me and we’re even.”

But this is not a nice universe. It’s not even close. This universe is horrible and cruel, laughing at your pitiful crush on a taken British boy and your shitty attempts at being his friend.

This universe sucks, so you leave him with that half assed promise and run down the stairs, not looking back as he calls your name.


 No. 3: the incident where you hear something you shouldn’t have (but always wanted to know)

It’s late, and probably your own fault that you’re miserable and at home and have to watch a fucking slideshow about Roswell, New Mexico. The lights are mostly off in your apartment, save for three little hanging lights above your kitchen counter. One sole bottle of Heineken is untouched, probably warm since your friend left over two hours ago for her date.

And now, with a pounding headache and an impossibly bad mood, you felt your limit snap as loud shouts and a bumping bass sounded from Tom’s apartment. He wasn’t a rowdy guy, and his girlfriend didn’t seem like the type to annoy the neighbors at ten pm, but you could think of a certain blonde that would.  

It had been weeks after ‘the breaking of the mug’, weeks of building back the confidence to look Tom in the eyes, and weeks of him being crazy nice to you. He was always asking you to come over, wanting to make up for how bad your last encounter was. Eventually you both settled back into a comfortable friendship, but that only persisted as long as his girlfriend wasn’t around.

After another week of that arrangement, you felt guilty, almost as though you were doing something forbidden. You remembered the shame and palpable tension in the room that occurred every time she came home to find the two (or three, there was no way she could get rid of Harrison) inside. Almost any conversation would drop, and you would leave, giving him a curt goodbye.

It was dumb, it was strenuous and it was so unnecessary. But it felt exciting.

You swallowed that excitement down fast, knowing that there was nothing between you two. You were neighbors, and finally friends; you weren’t going to ruin it because of your unrequited crush on him.

The pounding in your head increased when you heard with clarity and annoyance the repetitive yell of shots. The song seemed to shake your entire apartment and you growled, stomping over and banging on Tom’s door with your fist.

“Hey! It’s a fucking Thursday night!” you yelled, despite your normal timid manner. You seriously just wanted to fall straight asleep and head to work tomorrow and make a final decision on this location. You were losing time and patience and the capacity to care when a face split into a wide grin upon seeing you at the door.

“Hey hey, Y/N!” Harrison’s blue eyes were unfocused and shiny, his smile too big for his face. He stumbled to grab your arm, his grip much tighter as he used all his strength to pull you in.

“Guys, look who I found!” The word “guys” had you at unease, but you surveyed the people around you carefully. You would know the Spider-Man cast anywhere, and Tom’s apartment was definitely a place where you’d seen them the most.

Tony and Jacob both had on tilted ball caps, and when Tony ran to hug you it fell off. “Oh thank god you’re hear Y/N!” he hiccuped, slinging an arm around your shoulder. “Our man Tom has something to tell you.”

The room dissolved into giggles. It sounded like a first grade classroom, their laughter so innocent and playful. The only boy who didn’t seem to be partaking in the fun was Tom, his lips set in a pout as he shoved Jacob weakly.

“Knock it off, boys,” he told them his voice sharp against theirs. He didn’t appear to be as drunk as they were, but the goofy grin that followed proved otherwise.

After another round of laughter, you tried to shrug Tony away from you, but he was heavier without full control over his body. You felt uncomfortable being around four drunk men, who were all stronger than you. Despite knowing that they meant well, the entire situation read badly.

“Tony, please get off me,” you mumbled, which seemed to earn his attention. He stood up straight, raising his arm up mechanically. You took a step back, holding your arms to make yourself small. “Guys, I get that you’re having fun, but I have work to finish, so can you-“

“You’re a location scout, right?” Jacob asks in the moment of lucidity. You nod, watching warily as Jacob stands, holding his hand out to you.

“Jacob Batalon, best actor in this room. If you’re ever in a pinch for actors, you know where to find me.”

“Jacob,” you said slowly, your handshake becoming too long. “We’ve met before.”

“Best actor in the room? Tom has a fucking BAFTA!” Harrison argued over the music, but you both paid no mind to him.

“Uh, I think I’d know if I met anyone as pretty as you. At least, I think you are. I can’t really see, but you’re Y/N, right?”

“Jacob,” you sighed, exasperated. Pinching the bridge of your nose, you were halfway to launching into an explanation before he cut you off.

“Tom’s been going off about this Y/N girl. She lives across the street or something. I’m like, Tom, dude, amigo. How do you know if she’s pretty if she’s all the way over there?” He pointed out the window and you frowned, wondering just what in the world he was on about.

“Jacob I know you! I live next door.” He snapped his fingers loudly, looking back at Tony with wide eyes.

“Tony! It’s the girl, the one Tom mmhmm-“ Harrison covered Jacob’s mouth with his hands, trying to sit him back down. You raised a brow, looking between the four of them before sighing.

“Clearly I’m not getting anything through to you, so I’ll just do it myself.” You huffed, turning to what you believed was the source of the booming music. A stack of black rectangular sound systems sat on a shelf below Tom’s T.V, each of them appearing to be on. In the background, yelling had ensued, with Jacob’s mouth finally free of Harrison’s grip. You paid no mind as you decided to simply turn the volume down. You twisted the dial a little too far, making the music so quiet, that their shouts became clearer.

“Why the hell not! You’re not going to have any other chance!”

“Your girlfriend dumped you, now is the perfect time to tell her!”

“And say what? ‘Hey Y/N, I’ve been in love with you since the day we met’?”

It kept going, not even missing a beat as the four boys started piling shout after shout on top of the others. You, however, had your hands over your mouth, slowly rising to stand up. Your mind tried to process the words in the order you heard them in, making sure it matched what you thought. Your heart felt like it would leap from your chest, knees knocking as you struggled to understand.

Tom liked you. He had since the day you met. And he didn’t plan on telling you.

It was news to you that his girlfriend was no more, but even bigger than that was the idea that each of his friends already knew that he was in love with you. That sentiment seemed like common knowledge, considering its blunt outburst hadn’t shocked anyone to silence.

Suddenly Harrison’s cheeky winks and Tom’s bright smiles seemed more than just coincidences. You wanted to run up to Tom and tell him that you felt the same way, that he meant more to you than just a neighbor or a friend. You felt your heart clench as you realized that those words were never meant to be presented like this. You weren’t supposed to know.

In some nice universe Tom would tell you over another shared mug of coffee, or an a first date somewhere sweet and thoughtful. In some nice universe you could kiss him for saying that, and he’d kiss you back.

But this was not some nice universe, and this shit always happened. You let yourself out, sliding back against the cold metal door and letting out a sob that had been working its way through your chest.

Perhaps that nice universe would only ever be a daydream


No. 4: the incident where the tables have turned

Not but two days after the drunken episode, you walked up the stairs to find Tom, sitting outside his apartment like a lost puppy. He bounced his phone on one knee, the other keeping his forehead up as he scrolled through his phone. After a moment he locked it, turning his head to see you, dazed and confused.

“Y/N!” he exclaimed, his loud voice reminding you of Thursday night, and the deflated way he had yelled your name, saying that he was in love with you. You were starting to believe it; you could see his eyes light up whenever they found you, a small but genuine smile tilting his lips upward. For someone who had just lost a significant other, Tom seemed pretty much in one piece.

Maybe because you were the one seeing him.

Nevertheless, you raised an eyebrow in silent question, to which Tom sheepishly smiled. “I seem to have locked myself out of my own apartment,” he told you, standing up and shoving his hands in his pockets. He was well cleaned up, considering the last time you’d seen him he was smashed beyond compare.

Before you even had the thought of stopping, you blurted, “Doesn’t your girlfriend have a key?”

It was like kicking a puppy; a small, adorable little puppy that only wanted your attention for half a second. The mirth drained out of his face and his eyes quickly dropped to the floor. His hands swung aimlessly by his side. You wanted to take it back, say you were sorry or that you forgot, but you weren’t even supposed to know in the first place.

“Alice and I broke up,” he sighed, and all you could think was ‘So her name was Alice.’

You tried to morph your face into sympathy and surprise, but you weren’t sure how well you pulled it off. “Oh, shit Tom, I’m sorry,” you expressed, wanting to reach out and touch his shoulder, but withholding yourself. Pretending you didn’t know about his feelings for you was so difficult, and you weren’t sure why. It wasn’t like you to be flirty or drop hints, but for some reason that was all you wanted to do: wrap your arms around him, tell him he’d be fine, and remind him that you were next door if he needed you.

In some nice universe that would work, but this wasn’t time or place.

“My spare key is with Harrison, surprise surprise,” Tom joked, which you smiled at.

“You’re never going to see that key again,” you laughed, bringing back a sliver of a smile to the man’s face. He looked better with it, you thought, doing nothing for the butterflies in your stomach. Your laughter calmed down enough for you to shrug. “You can come stay at my place until he gets here, if you don’t have anything to do.”

His eyes widened, but he hid it by raising his left brow. “Are you sure? I don’t want to intrude or anything.”

“Considering it returning the favor. Besides, I’m always in your apartment. We need a change of scenery.” You unlocked your door, coming into your apartment with tense shoulders. Tom had never been in here before, and there was a reason for that. His presence in your apartment would gradually become less and less strange, making him just a part of your home than the couch or the curtains. You didn’t want him to be so familiar that it seemed like he belonged here, because he didn’t. He belonged in his nice white apartment, far away from whatever you had going on here.

There wasn’t much. You weren’t a minimalist, but you preferred less pillows and decorations than actual furniture. The colors were mostly neutral blues and greys, with red here or there. Along the walls were huge posters of cities you’d visited for work. Ashville, Slab City, Roswell, and other obscure towns were littered across your living room, and when you looked back you noticed Tom was staring at all of them.

“You’ve been to all these places?” he inquired, awe lacing his voice. You were shocked by his curiosity, considering he travelled all the time for his job. His face was fixed on the posters, before catching the little framed photos around the bookshelves. “Holy shit, is that you?”

He had the frame in his hand now, and judging from it, you were sure he was indulging himself in staring at a truly mortifying high school photo of yours. “Who are these people?” he pointed, and you grimaced.

“High school friends, if you couldn’t tell by our bad fashion choices,” you groaned, coming up beside him and studying the picture. You were in the middle, as you often were in group photos because everyone was taller than you. It didn’t particularly matter in this instance; you were squatting down, your hands clasped as if in prayer, staring down the camera with a smirk. Above you, four of your friends had lifted up the shortest girl in your group, perching her on their shoulders. It looked like a dysfunctional human pyramid.

“I don’t think I have a picture of me and my mates half as cool as this,” Tom remarked, and you couldn’t help but laugh.

“You think that’s cool? I think we were more crazy than cool,” you spoke wistfully, setting the picture back down. “I’m not even sure why I keep that around. It doesn’t really fit in with this whole thing,” you gestured wildly, pointing at the dozens of colorful photos. Tom’s eyes landed wherever your finger pointed, until the rested back on you.

“Which one of these is your favorite?” he asked, turning in a circle to view every landscape. You put a finger to your lips, eyeing each one carefully, until you landed on one filled with green and purple.

“I took this in Glasgow, about four years ago,” you stated, standing beside a quite large picture of a sprawling field of bluebells. “First time scouting overseas, and a studio needed pictures of old woods to use as concept art. I was with a senior photographer on this one, but he let me take the shots they eventually used.” You glanced up at the photo in reverence, before looking over to Tom.

His face expressed pure adoration, and you found that his eyes rested more so on you than the photo. He seemed to be in a trance, only snapped out of the daze a minute after you’d stopped talking. He tried to shake the grin off, but it was too late. So he went with it, smiling even wider.

“Wow. I’ve been to Scotland before, and I knew it was beautiful. But that?” he threw his hands down and you laughed at his gesture. “I’ve never seen anything like that before.”

“You just have to know where to look. I know I never would have found this place if David wasn’t so familiar with Glasgow,” you told him, heading into the kitchen for drinks. “Next time, take someone who knows what to look for.”

“Maybe I should take you.” It was supposed to be mumbled under his breath, just a wish he kept to himself, but he let his guard down. You heard him, freezing as you stuck your head into the fridge, thanking the heavens that you had a cover for your burning face. You wanted to turn around and tell him yes; absolutely, positively, one-hundred-percent were you on board with going anywhere with him. You wanted to joke that you’d pack your luggage right then and there, that between two seasoned travelers like you, there was sure to be a discount somewhere.

But all you could do was force down the thoughts, grabbing two cokes from the fridge before pressing them to your face. You turned to Tom and smiled, a restrained, glowing thing that startled him, for he hesitantly stepped towards you.

“Maybe you should. Glasgow is one of my favorite places. I’d be happy to show you around.” You hoped you didn’t come off as anything other than friendly, but knowing the situation you were both in, there was no telling his response.

Tom just blinked, his face like a deer in headlights. Suddenly his face was tinted in pick and he smiled, looking down at his shoes bashfully. “I don’t know when we’d ever do it,” he commented, rooting you two back in the reality, the place where you both had jobs to do and obligations to others. But it had been nice, dreaming of Scotland with Tom. Perhaps it would come true.

There was a calm silence that settled in between the conversation, which was ripped away when Tom’s cell rang. He picked it up with reluctance, before making a face at the id. “Haz you better be downstairs or else I’m hanging up.” There was a bit of yelling on the other side, Harrison’s voice distorted by the traffic outside. Tom listened for a moment more before nodded, cutting his eyes over to you.

“Yeah, you can just open yourself, you’re always there anyways,” he quipped, ending the line before sighing. “Sorry, that was Haz, he’s here with my key.” Every word he said sounded breathless, a string of words in an almost incomprehensible British accent and an apology mixed in somewhere. You smiled, before jumping up.

“Oh! Before I forget,” you babbled, reaching into a packed kitchen cabinet for something. You stood on the tips of your toes, reaching for a turned handle before it landed gracefully in your palm. You smiled, handing it over to the dumbfounded man over the counter.

“What’s this?” he asked, turning over the red and blue designed cup. “Is this for me?”

“Yeah! I told you I was going to get you a new mug, I didn’t say what it would look like though.” You bit your lip, wondering if a Spider-Man mug was really the way to go in this situation. In addition to playing the wen head, you knew he had an affinity for the character as well, hoping the combined coincidences would lead him to like it.

He pressed it into his palms, turning it over in the daintiest of ways. He clutched it tight, as though he might break it from just breathing on it. When he picked his head up, you noted the watery glimmer in his brown eyes, which he tried his hardest to blink back. There were so many small things about Tom that made your heart flutter, but you didn’t have time to study them all.

“Thank you,” his small voice took you from your thoughts. “That was really sweet of you. You didn’t have to do this.”

“I wanted to,” you relied firmly, placing a hand on his shoulder. “And I couldn’t live with myself if I never replaced it. Seriously, take it,” you told him, seeing as he was unwilling to leave with it. He stared at it a little while longer before he jolted, a buzzing sounding from his back pocket.

“Harrison’s here, I should, uh,” He stammered out, slowly taking some steps back. You nodded, giving him a slight wave and then headed back to the kitchen. You didn’t look up until you heard the door open, and then click shut, the air in your apartment much colder than it had been.

You stared around, wondering if you could find differences in your home now that Tom had been inside it. Your old theory was clearly correct, because your place had never felt so lonely and empty since you’d moved in. With a frown, you stared at the picture of Glasgow, wondering if in some other time and place, it was taken by you and Tom.


No.5: the incident where everything becomes clear

You actually burst into his apartment, a loud banging noise that sounds like it belongs in a movie. You’re too dramatic, and for reasons only you can understand.

Two heads turn, almost in sync. Blue eyes stare your form up and down, a quirk in his brows, while Tom just screams “Y/N!” It’s more of an exclamation that a question, which prompts Harrison to ask the obvious.

“What are you doing?” It’s so posh coming from him, the accent highlighting the annoyance in his voice. Or maybe it’s confusion, because he seems baffled not only by your presence, but by your urgency.

Tom doesn’t seem to mind. He’s got wide, shining eyes, and a posture that’s halfway out of the chair he was sitting in. He crosses the length between you two in an instant, throwing you off for a second before you regained proper footing.

“What’s wrong?” He questioned, staring you down with those concerned brown hues of his. You wanted to take his face in your hands, and reveal your purpose for being here in the first place.

You were out of breath, from both being so close to him, and from running up three flights of stairs. After getting started on a scouting job earlier this week, you requested half the day off to start finalizing your travel plans. Within the next week you’d be flying into Tokyo and Hong Kong for a few days with Shanghai as a backup plan in case you didn’t get the shots you wanted.

You had been so psyched to start packing and start sharing about your trip, when you came across a moving truck in front of your complex. And lo and behold, you caught the sight of Alice, her arms full of those yellow throw pillows you had seen in his apartment all those weeks ago. Her blue eyes scanned the street until they came to rest on you, shouldering a hand bag that probably cost less than her foundation.

Her eyes turned to steel, lips curved in the most menacing grimace you’d ever seen. Her eyes appeared watery as you came closer, the grimace turning into a full-blown snarl the longer you stayed in her vicinity.

You practcally ran away, heart pounding out of fear. It wasn’t that Alice was mean or nasty towards you; it was that you could understand why she didn’t like you. You didn’t know the specifics of their breakup, but if you could guess, you figured Tom’s affection towards you might have played a factor in it.

The guilt burned your chest, but there was something else there you didn’t understand, something that led you to Tom’s unlocked door. In the awkward silence between you two, you wondered why it was unlocked, and why he didn’t seem to question why you were here. The longer he stared at you, the more your fingers itched, and the more you yearned to touch him.

So you pulled him out of the apartment, his feet tripping over the threshold as the door closed behind him. You caught a glimpse of Harrison’s face, blue eyes shining with mirth before he winked, clicking it shut. Tom turned his head to look back, but you grabbed his cheeks, making him face you.

He opened his mouth to ask something, but the question was caught it his throat. Your lips were suddenly on his, and he shifted closer to you, like it was an instinct. Like he got kissed by breathless girls outside his apartment on a daily basis.

His arms wrapped around your waist, before coiling tightly, his nails digging into your jacket. Your hands left his cheeks, instead falling to the nape of his neck, where you brushed small curls of hair with your knuckles. Everything about kissing Tom felt like fitting into a jigsaw puzzle; you knew exactly where everything went. From your hands to your chest to your lips, every part of you felt in place.

Tom eyes opened as he pulled back, gazing at you like he would a star in the sky. “Why did you do that?” His nearly inaudible voice was shaky, his hands running up and down your sides. He tried to still himself, but you could feel the skittish energy he was trying hard to contain.

You wound your arms around his neck, pressing yourself closer to him. “I don’t actually know,” you told him seriously, a smile in your lips.

He tried to roll his eyes, but he too was smiling at you. “You just did it, because? Just because you could?”

“Because I’ve wanted to for a long time. Because you accidently said last Thursday that you were in love with me. And because I’m in love with you too.”

Tom’s arms dropped and he balked, watching you with a gaping mouth. “You heard that? You heard me say that?” he reiterated, looking you in the eye. When you nodded he groaned, placing his head in his hands. He refused to look at you when you coaxed him out of his shame.

“I can’t believe you knew that,” he muttered, his face turning redder by the second. You tiptoed up and kissed the crown of his head, causing him to peek at you through his fingers.

“I’m sorry you’re embarrassed, but if I didn’t know I’d never have the guts to kiss you,” you compromised, pulling his hands away from his face. “C’mon, this situation isn’t all bad.”

“It’s not bad at all, really,” he sighed, a content smile gracing his lips. “I mean, you did say you were in love with me too, right?”

“Do kisses not mean anything to you Brits? Is that just like, a thing you guys do?” You poked fun at him, earning another small peck on your lips to shut you up. You smiled and laughed, making it messy and causing his lips to end up short squish against your cheek. He rolled with it though, smothering your face with tiny little pecks, squeezing you tight in his arms.

From somewhere in the apartment, Harrison screamed “Finally!”

I Know Your Wife (She Wouldn’t Mind) - Part Six

Summary: You have to break the news to Jared and, later, Genevieve. At a convention, Jared lets slip some information that gets you into an uncomfortable situation.
Jared x Reader (mentioned Jared x Gen, Jared x Reader x Gen), Genevieve, Jensen, Kathryn Newton (brief Matt and Rich)
Words: 6.2k+
Warnings: pregnancy, hella drama/angst, self-deprecating reader, uncomfortable confrontations
Beta: @blacksiren

IKYW Masterpost

Your name: submit What is this?

You had to get through another four hours of filming before you would get a chance to talk to Jared alone.

You apologised to the make-up team when you went back into the trailer, your face blotchy from being sick and your make-up ruined from crying.

The whole time you were on set, your mind was elsewhere. Specifically, you were wondering how to tell Jared that you were carrying his illegitimate, unplanned child.

Keep reading