remember who you love

Regardless of what anyone else thinks; you are your own self. Your body was born to turn out a specific way, naturally, and you must allow it to do its own thing. There is no ‘perfect’ body. There is only a body, which is beautiful in its own right. You only have the one that you’re currently living in, remember that. Try to respect it and take care of it, for its amazing and is your sacred temple! It doesn’t matter what others think; your health is FAR more important than getting satisfaction from others.

Reminder: It’s okay to break off toxic friendships. It’s okay to break off toxic relationships. You have to do what’s best for you, and can’t always worry about hurting the other person. You don’t deserve to be belittled, you don’t deserve to be abused. If you are in a situation that is unhealthy for you, you have the right to get out. Please stay safe, and remember you deserve someone who treats you with love and respect.

Markiplier's live show

Dear @markiplier @crankgameplays Bob, Tyler, and @lordminion
I just go done seeing Mark’s live show. It was really amazing and funny. I would go and see it again in a heart beat. They had a mix of every thing and it was truly amazing. The entire cast did a wonderful job. The Fan interaction was great. If they were to do this again, I would enjoy everybody to go and watch them. It was great experience that I somehow to make an impact as a fan just attending can make. Thank you Mark, Wade, Ethan, Bob, and Tyler. Your show was incredible and a night to remember.
Thank you again for amazing night.
Love,
A fan who lives in Detroit

P.S. The cake is never worth it

Dear you

Hi…it’s me I know you don’t care to listen to anything I have to say but I have so many things on my mind, so many questions.

Could we just rewind our time together and pause at the exact moment where we went wrong. or where I went wrong?

I can’t sleep without thinking, what did I do so wrong to make you hate me or love me less? What happened to us against the world? now it’s you against me..

Please tell me why you can’t stand to hear my name or treat it like it  is a forbidden word in your secret language in which I thought I understood but these days it has become questionable.

Do you remember the promise we made to one another? the one about never leaving each other behind? well I guess that was nothing more than a phrase to you which had no meaning to you but did you know it meant everything to me?

I cried every single day helplessly begging for you to just reach out to me or throw me a life jacket but instead you abandon me and left to drown because I couldn’t keep myself afloat.

Call me naïve but I really believed you were on my side, call me pathetic for thinking you truly loved me. call me whatever you want but just know despite the bitterness you were the sweetest love I ever knew.

Hey….I know you remember me because you told me you will never forget me but I hope you remember me as the only one who loved every part of you even though you tore me apart and left me with emptiness in my heart and soul.

One last thing please love the next person the way you couldn’t love me, you at least owe them that.

sincerely
me

—  Tenari Ioapo Excerpt from a book I may write.

i still remember her, you know?

my grandmother, that is. a woman who loved to play shop with me, to feed me her twist on new york style cheesecake, who loved to gift me with dolls from poland and the odd teddy bear or two. i remember her warmth, the slightly shrill voice, the woolen clothes and those brown loafers that she loved so much.

but i also remember how i’d catch a version of her that i wasn’t used to - a woman who looked much older, with ghost-white knuckles, and a hardened face that was far too solemn for someone who gave and gave and gave - for someone who deserved so much more than what she was given. i remember how that version of grandma would speak, too. in a hushed voice, speaking in the mousiest of whispers, as if she were a teenager again, trying not to make a peep as she hid with her whole family under the floorboards of a family friend’s home.

i also remember the tears. how they’d just… appear, from nowhere. sometimes they’d just start falling from her face mid-sentence, other times it was when she was looking forlornly out of the large window in the living room that i’d drawn on as a toddler. they were not the same tears she shed as a teenager, after watching her mother be taken away by men who embodied and reveled in pure evil. they were cracks in the wall that my grandmother had built.

then there were those days where i’d catch her looking at her arm, and the faded numbers that had overstayed their welcome there. it was like black paint on a white canvas only that canvas was a person and that paint had not been spilled accidentally, but tattooed into the arm of a young girl who had lost everything but her humanity - something the man who gave her the tattoo never had.

but worst of all, i remember how she’d frantically run about the kitchen to make me a meal when she learned i hadn’t eaten for a day. i asked her why.

“because, bubula, i know what hunger feels like.” she replied. i didnt quite understand the depth of that back then.

like how i didn’t understand the tremor in her hand when we walked past a group of teenage boys who made a hitler joke. how i didnt understand why she had to pull over on the side of the road to sob when she heard that a fellow holocaust survivor had died on the radio. 

my grandmother was a fighter and a survivor and she was a woman who was strong as steel and as sweet as honey-dew. she was a woman who gave and gave and gave, a woman who deserved all the stars in the sky and pearls in the sea.

my grandmother was ripped from the arms of her family, she thrown into the deepest pit of hell, and she survived the flames. because my grandmother was a survivor of the holocaust.

never forget.

Shower Dysphoria Tips

Okay, this is about to be a long list but I hope it helps someone.  Being genderfluid myself, I just showered for the first time in several days because of my disabling dysphoria.  I always see tons of tips about clothing, hair, behavior, and even makeup, but I don’t see a lot of tips on here about dealing with shower dysphoria.  Some of this is going to be aimed at trans*, genderfluid, and genderqueer individuals specifically, and some of these tips are for agender and other nonbinary individuals, but most can be applied to all of the above.  Let’s get started!

- If possible, listen to music.  Whether it’s on a phone, laptop, or portable radio, listen to music you enjoy, and listen to it as loudly as you’re able.  It helps me to have something else to focus on while I go through the motions of showering, even if it’s my own horrible singing.

- Use shower products marketed towards the gender you identify with. Since I’m genderfluid, I keep both “male” and “female” bodywashes, shampoos, and face washes in my shower so that however I’m feeling, I’ve got the products available to reduce dysphoria as much as I’m able.

- Have your clothes ready inside the bathroom with you. I always make sure that my clothes are completely prepared for me to throw them on as quickly as possible after my shower.  My dysphoria is increased significantly when I’m undressed, so not wasting time turning my clothes right-side out, or searching for clothes helps.

- Keep a mental list of the steps you need to complete during your shower.  1. Prepare clothes 2. Turn on water 3. Get in shower 4. Shampoo hair; ect. Having a mental list of specific steps you need to complete helps break the process down so it isn’t so overwhelming, and you’ll be able to keep track of how close you are to being done.

- Use genderless shower products.  Unfortunately, it’s pretty hard to find shampoos and body wash that aren’t marketed a specific way.  The best brand that I’ve found is Lush products.  Almost all of their products aren’t targeted to any gender at all.  Unfortunately, if you don’t live close to a store (the closest one to me is over two hours away) it can get pricey buying online once shipping and taxes are applied.   One that has been suggested a couple times is Trader Joe’s brand, but I’ve been told it mainly pertains to the west coast. Also, a more widespread brand is Head and Shoulders! If anyone knows of any more common, genderless brands, feel free to add on or message me and I’ll edit it in!

Unfortunately, for those of us with dysphoria, showering is probably always going to suck at least a little bit. If anyone else has helpful tips, feel free to reblog with your additions.  If you’re not comfortable with that, message me on here and I can edit it in.

Above all, just remember that:

Your dysphoria does not define who you are.

You are valid.

You are loved.

And one day, I’ll fall in love again. Someone will come and they’ll fill up the spot you once took. It’s hard, but it’s not impossible. Besides, you’re the very person who taught me that remember? I loved someone who shattered me, but when you came along, you erased every bit of pain that I had stored inside and you built me up again. You taught me that, I can love again. I mean, they’ll never be a complete replacement for you, but I’ll learn how to love them, just like I loved you. Maybe I’ll even be a better lover. And for that, thank you. Thank you for having loved me.
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                              Happy Pride Month of 2017!

Be happy. be proud. remember that you are valid. loved and amazing.
never doubt yourself and never let others dictate your life and who you are.
Be there for those who been there for you and remember that no matter who we love we will always stay us.

(Love you lil cupcakes♥)

oh yeah also @pale-silver-comb had one of her usual cute idea where Stiles buying pride sheets for him and Derek.

Aka Bonus:

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David Suchet’s Poirot joke on the Doctor Who Fan Show, May 6, 2017 [x]

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hello, goodbyes hung on our lips
the beginning of us, those swingin’ doors
hearts not the same as they were before

      i remember those days when love kept us waiting all night
        for headlights

I will always remember you as the girl who loved the smell of the grass after a heavy downpour, who loved running across the wet field, not giving a damn about your dirty shoes and socks. And I, on the other hand, as the little lovegrass that would always catch on your clothes and socks, just something you would never notice.
—  Lukas W. // The Little Lovegrass
Week of May 15th, 2017
  • Aries: Logically speaking, money matters are better suited for you, at least, as opposed to how they've been.
  • Taurus: Your mind finally comes into contact with your ego, leaving the dark introspection you've been through until next year.
  • Gemini: You're beyond attractive, lately. Caution may cause you to skip out on amazing opportunities, however.
  • Cancer: Making new friends is always fun, but are they asking you to step too far out of your comfort zone?
  • Leo: Focus shifts to work, and money is on the way... just don't spend it too quickly.
  • Virgo: This is a time of growth. The problems that have been nudging at you are demanding to be dealt with.
  • Libra: Who do you love? Who do you lust after? Remember these are different things, and you can have one without the other. It is also just as easy to confusing love as lust, as it is to confuse lust and love.
  • Scorpio: Love is straining. Should you be committed? Is your partner spending as much effort as you are?
  • Sagittarius: How are you feeling? Take care of yourself. You're your biggest limitation, this week.
  • Capricorn: Your intellect serves you well! Are you prepared for the upcoming recognition?
  • Aquarius: What comforts you? You've been staying home lately, but, that duplicates now as shift focuses into the home.
  • Pisces: You're better at communicating this week. Put your imagination into action, especially around the home!