remember to be kind to yourself too!

anonymous asked:

Tbh I just know I'm asexual. I know it's OK and I know I'm not broken. But I can't help but feeling hopeless. What if no one will want me because I'm not interested in anything more than kissing? What if I'll always be alone once people realise I'm only interested in middle-school-level physical stuff? I know it's their problem and everything but I'm just scared of missing out people I love. Idk it's just kinda hard.

I know I get that feeling all the time, that people can’t love me for being ace. But then like I remember there are tons of aces who are dating or in some kind of relationship and there are aces who are going to get married and spend the rest of their life with someone and you will too. You just got to give yourself time. You got a whole life ahead of you someone will come and respect you and love you for who you are.

hey im loving this new mindset of “you are your own priority” and “take care of yourself” but these statements are not synonymous with being a 100% selfish prick


dont forget to be kind. remember that while your feelings are valid, everyone else has feelings, too.

How I Got Straight A’s in My First Year of University

I was so proud of myself when I received firsts (that’s A’s for those not attending uni in the UK) on all of my assessments in my first year at university. Here are some tips for y’all to try at any point in university. They may be specific at times to my experience—my degree is in the social sciences and humanities, and I’m studying in the UK—but I did try to make them more generally applicable, and hopefully they should be helpful to someone out there.

Part One: Everyday Study Routine

  1. Before the start of the academic year, try to get in a little bit of preparation. See if there are any syllabi or reading lists posted online. You don’t have to pour over them, of course, but do attempt to do something, and have a basic grasp on what will be covered in your classes.
  2. Go to all your lectures and seminars. Unless you absolutely have to miss class because you are ill or have an important obligation to take care of, it’s really important to attend your lectures every day. (Note: if you are struggling with mental or chronic illness or a disability, don’t beat yourself up if you keep missing class. Please take care of yourself.) You may be tempted to just look at the PowerPoint presentation online, but it’s much more effective to be there in person. Often the lecturer may include information or extra explanations which are not included in the presentation. It will also allow you to process the information aurally as well as visually, and you will have the added benefit of taking notes too. You may also be able to ask questions.
  3. Do all the pre-reading for lectures. I know it’s tempting to put it off, but try to work it into your daily routine (because you will have reading to do every day). Inevitably, there will be times where you slip up and don’t have time to finish. If this happens, make sure you catch up on it at some point, because it’s very important to solidifying the concepts you are learning about. Also, the more you read in general, the better you will become at reading (and also writing).
  4. Take diligent notes (for both your lectures and pre-reading), and keep them organized. I prefer to handwrite in a notebook, as it helps me synthesize information rather than just typing it out verbatim—but it is totally up to you. If you do use a notebook, make a table of contents on the first page, where you write the date, topic, class, and page numbers of each set of notes you take. I think it’s a great idea to include your own thoughts and opinions in notes, or linking concepts you are learning to concepts you already know about.
  5. If you have the time, make sure to be reading books/essays/articles and engaging with ideas outside of your regular syllabus. This is one of the most important techniques (in my experience, at least) when it comes to writing essays and answering exam questions. Evidence of wider reading around a topic is a great way to boost the credibility of your argument. It also does wonders to solidify and broaden your conceptualization of certain ideas you may have covered in your classes.
  6. Where possible, try to contribute (as much as you feel comfortable) in seminars. If you are very quiet and reserved, that is totally okay too. I’m with you. But it has helped me tremendously in the past year to push myself to speak up more often in seminars. Talking in seminars allows you to clarify concepts and engage more deeply with the material being discussed (and it might impress your seminar tutor too, though this is secondary to the learning in my opinion).
  7. If you have some nerdy-ass friends, talk with them about your ideas and what you’re both learning in your courses. I can’t tell you the number of essays I’ve written which actually have blossomed out of conversations I’ve had with friends, where they’ve exposed me to topics I’d never heard of before or broadened my view of a concept. Learning from each other in a casual and fun setting is amazing!

Part Two: Assessment Time

  1. When you are given notice about big assignments coming up, such as essays or group projects, try to start working on them ASAP. Trust me, I know how hard it is. This is coming from someone who has dealt for years with chronic procrastination issues and nearly didn’t graduate from high school because of it. But you must start planning as soon as you possibly can, because the due date will come screaming up and before you know it, it’ll be the night before the deadline and you won’t have a clue what you’re writing about. Work it into your daily schedule if you have to. One great tip is to write down the deadline as being earlier (say, a week earlier) than what it actually is. This will prompt you to start earlier than you normally would have.
  2. Do a shitload of reading, widely, from multiple sources. Read everything you can on the topic you are doing your assignment on. For a basic literature review, this means looking through at least 20+ sources. That doesn’t mean carefully perusing each one front to back; it means looking through all the relevant literature to find a few great sources which will really give you a coherent argument and a big picture of the topic at hand.
  3. Keep your sources organized. I use Paperpile, which is a Chrome extension that allows you to save and organize academic sources. I make a folder for each assessment I am working on, and anything I find relevant to my topic, I save it to the folder. This will be a life saver for you when you actually go to plan your paper and also do the referencing.
  4. Content is important, but perhaps even more important is your argument and structure. This mostly applies to essays, but you can apply it to other types of assessments too. Try not to structure your argument in terms of blocks of content—e.g. Paragraph 1 is about Topic A, Paragraph 2 is about Topic B—but rather in terms of how you are laying out your argument. Make sure each part of your essay flows into the next, so that you are, for example, setting up a kind of dialogue or narrative between the different sources you’re using. Also ensure that any point you are making clearly relates back to your main thesis.
  5. If you’re a perfectionist like me: train yourself to remember that there is no such thing as perfect. Try to imagine what the perfect essay would be like. Can you imagine it? It’s probably pretty difficult, right? That’s because there is no such thing as a perfect assignment. Remind yourself of this, constantly. Tell yourself that you will be okay with just doing your very best. If you think about it logically: handing in something that is perhaps not your best ever, but handing it in on time and doing pretty well, is infinitely better than attempting to have a “perfect” essay but handing it in late and failing the assignment.

I hope this helped some of you! Best of luck and happy studying this year—go knock ‘em out! xo

EVERY BTS’ ARMY THESE DAYS:

When they wait for that midnight KST:

Originally posted by jeonintl

ARMY: There won’t be anything tonight
BigHit:

Originally posted by pangguk

When they receive ‘THAT’ notification

Originally posted by liveforeverneversaynever

When they see “IT”

Originally posted by syuba-inu

“U SO BEAUTIFUL TAKE MY HEART”: instant reaction

Originally posted by bangtansonyeonwow

2 min later (mostly because they just saw the translation): 

Originally posted by itsminelifestyle

When they fall asleep and wake up to BTS trending worldwide, 765391 theory, half the fandom dead … 

Originally posted by myloveseokjin

When someone tells them to chill

Originally posted by jinips

BigHit: *insert lies*
ARMY: 

Originally posted by bangtansonyeonwow

When they don’t know how they should feel about ALL this

Originally posted by softfluffytae

And realize there is still awhile for the comeback but they are already SO drained 

Originally posted by ultranicolet

and remember there is Hixtape too …

Originally posted by armysdaily

So they decide to just accept reality and dig their graves

Originally posted by bebitojoonie

Anyway, ARMY are going through hard times, please be kind to them!
By @mimibtsghost

There is two types of anger. There is an anger when you can’t see because your eyes are blurry from the tears you can’t stop crying. When your laying on the bathroom floor shaking hopelessly. Then there is the kind where you face is stone cold, you have nothing; no way you can express yourself. You voice gets sharp and you feel nothing. The difference between these two seems to be that you care too much, or you’re completely done. I honestly don’t know which is worse, but I can tell you that once you feel either of these over something; you shouldn’t feel it over that same thing again. A mistake happens once, if it is done again it is a choice. Remember that.
—  knm-11 
…Believe that you are sincere and good at heart. If you do not attain happiness, always remember that you are on the right road, and try not to leave it. Above all, avoid falsehood, every kind of falsehood, especially falseness to yourself. Watch over your own deceitfulness and look into it every hour, every minute. Avoid being scornful, both to others and to yourself. What seems to you bad within you will grow purer from the very fact of your observing it in yourself. Avoid fear, too, though fear is only the consequence of every sort of falsehood. Never be frightened at your own faint-heartedness in attaining love. Don’t be frightened overmuch even at your evil actions. I am sorry I can say nothing more consoling to you, for love in action is a harsh and dreadful thing compared with love in dreams. Love in dreams is greedy for immediate action, rapidly performed and in the sight of all… But active love is labour and fortitude, and for some people too, perhaps, a complete science.
—  Fyodor Dostoyevsky, The Brothers Karamazov
Wrong

Originally posted by lumos025

Summary: Jungkook, Jimin and Taehyung bullied you in high school and by some sick joke the universe was playing on you, 2 years later Jungkook was attending the same University as you. Even sicker joke was being stuck with him doing a project on ‘Sex in Cinema’ for a whole semester. Go figure.

Words: 8083

Warnings: Smut, a lot of dirty talk holy shit (I can’t help it), oral, masturbation, overstimulation.

2 years earlier:

You walked down the road, almost around midnight, trying to get home as fast as possible the chilly rainy weather. Not to mention the truck that was trailing behind you and the screams and shouts of “wait up thunder thighs!” and “stop running away like a little bitch!” coming from the 3 boys who occupied it. Wrapping your arms around yourself to feel just an ounce of warmth, you willed yourself to ignore these bastards and walk faster. ‘I’m almost home, I’m almost home’ repeating it like a mantra in your head. Really, it was a stupid idea to think that you could enjoy a last high school party with your friends who were the complete opposite of you. After all, when the three most popular boys of the school were determined to make your life a living hell, why would anyone else want to treat you different in this extremely cliché scenario. It was hard to pinpoint what exactly was it about you that made them hate you so much.

From the time that you can remember, and you remembered a lot, Taehyung, Jimin and Jungkook had always despised you. It’s like they couldn’t stand your existence. When you would be at the library helping out by staying late, they would wait after school, yes they would go out of their way to stay at school longer, to make sure that your walk home was as stressful as possible. Making fun of pretty much anything and everything you did was a normal occurrence. You had just learned to live with it, but not today.

You suddenly started to slow your pace. They are cowards, you thought. What can they possibly do? Always taunting, always calling names, always making you feel shit about anything you took interest in. But they were all talk, right? You thought, huffing out. People like them walk in groups because they can’t actually do anything alone. You don’t know what came over you, but you suddenly stopped and turned around slowly. The truck that the boys were trailing behind you also slowed and stopped a few meters away.

The one driving was Jimin, while Taehyung sat beside him and Jungkook stood, head poking out of the truck’s opening in the ceiling. You stood defiantly, shaking from the growing rain, your hair soaked and hands tightly by your side. Silently daring them to charge the truck towards you. ‘They won’t do it, they’re cowards’ you thought, your confidence growing slowly. You couldn’t tell where this adrenaline rush had come from to give you such courage to finally stand your ground, just a few weeks away from graduation. You could see Taehyung’s cunning, and terrifyingly psychotic grin widening as he relentlessly whispered in Jimin’s ear, whose grip on the wheel was tightening as he looked you right in the eyes. Jungkook was laughing. He apparently found the situation so amusing, that you decided now to grow a spine and challenge them. Suddenly, the sound of the engine revving was as loud as the rain.

It all went pretty much downhill from there. The last thing you remembered was your too loud heartbeat, the bright flash from the truck and Jungkook’s face suddenly forming a horrified expression as if he wasn’t just laughing at you.

Present day:

You weren’t looking for him specifically among the crowd flooding into the lecture hall. But something did happen inside you when you spotted him. A kind of lightness, or a lifting of some heavy part of yourself. Everything was settling into a nice, normal routine. You were going about your daily lives in an ordinary manner, and you were doing it completely separately.

He sat in the fourth row, and you sat at the back. Only now there was no rising sense of dread. You didn’t keep your hand to yourself when the lecturer asked a question. You answered, without the background sound of someone snickering. And even when it felt as though he was looking at you, when you snuck a glance at him you only ever saw the back of his head.

He bent low over his notes, and his head occasionally lifted a little as he really listened to whatever the lecturer was saying. Once or twice you actually caught him nodding, or doing a little staggered-looking half laugh over some ridiculous concept. As if he loved it all now.

He loved it so much he was sometimes at the lectures early. You would come in with Y/B/F, still giggling over something ridiculous, and get the faint prickle that told you he was already there. Only now when it happened it didn’t make you want to cover yourself up, or run and hide. There was nothing to hide from. Everything was going to be super cool and totally fine from here on in. Or it would have been, if it were not for the group project. The one that you were so excited for that you didn’t process it when your lecturer started reading out the names. You would be working with Y/B/F—that was a given. You were going to watch ridiculously filthy movies together and laugh about bobbing butts and ogle Ewan McGregor’s penis.

And then you heard his name.

Followed by yours.

Distantly, like in a dream of being in class.

“Miss Y/L/N, do you have a problem with that assignment?”

Everyone was looking at you now. No—not just looking. Examining, as though You had become a new and baffling species. The girl who was not excited about the idea of spending a whole semester with Jungkook. The creature who seemed horrified at the prospect of working with him. It made it difficult to do anything at all, even with Y/B/F urging you to say yes, yes I do have a fucking problem. Though you still didn’t expect the shake of your head to happen. Just one little accidental shake of your head and that was it. Your lecturer moved on to his next victim, leaving you in something You once had a nightmare about in ninth grade. Working with Jungkook. On a semester-long project.

About sex in cinema.

“Don’t worry, we can fix this. Just go to his office and talk to him privately about it. He would have to be Satan himself to not understand,” You heard Y/B/F whisper. But the words seemed even further away than you name had when your lecturer read it out.

“Right. Right. Yeah. You’re right.”

“I can come with you if you want.”

“No, that’s okay. That’s fine.”

“Are you sure? You look like you’ve been punched. In the face. With a small nuclear blast.”

“I’m sure,” You said, but soon came to regret that firmness in your voice. The steady nod that told Y/B/F it was okay for you to go in a different direction once you were outside. It only meant that you were on your own when you got to the tiny hallway outside your lecturer’s door.

And saw that Jungkook was already waiting. Of course he was—he probably had the same concerns as you. No matter how sorry he was or what he thought of being in the red and being wrong, he would never want to work in close quarters with you for the entire semester. In fact, him being sorry likely made the situation seem worse to him. Most likely he had calculated all the awkward conversations you guys would have to have and how far apart he would have to stand to keep you comfortable, and found it as unbearable as you did.

Even though his expression seemed to say something else.

Oh god. His expression was saying something else.

Then he held up his hands, as though to calm you.

And you knew.

“All right, Y/N, I know that you’re probably thinking it’s way better if you do this project with that gal pal of yours, but wait, okay? I got reasons why this is gonna be fine.”

“Is that seriously why you’re here? To stop me asking to switch us?”

“Well…no. Not stop you exactly. Stop is a really strong word.”

“While I’m glad you’ve learned that—” You said, your voice briefly catching when you saw his wince. He winced, your mind hissed, before you forced yourself to finish. “I still think it covers what’s happening here.”

“I just wanted to talk to you about it for a second. Just, like, hear me out.”

“I want to. I really do. But come on. You know I wasn’t born yesterday. This has all the hallmarks of some kind of trap or prank or joke at my expense.”

“How could it possibly be a trap or prank? He put people together based on…I don’t even know what he put people together based on. But it couldn’t have had anything to do with me.”

You searched his face, looking for the lie. Waiting for him to show some hint of bullshit, beneath those too-kind eyes and his spread hands and the obvious logic of what he was saying.

Only there was nothing, nothing, nothing.

And it made no difference at all.

“Okay, I buy that. I do. Yet the fact still remains: I cannot do a project with you. Ever. You have to know that doing anything like that is completely impossible for me. Right?”

“I was just thinking that maybe…maybe you could give it a chance. You know, now that we’re on speaking terms and everything is almost cool between us.”

“You think everything is cool between us?”

“Well, maybe not cool exactly. More like…okay.”

“Still need to dial it back a notch, chief.”

“Reasonable? Not bad? Kind of semi decent?”

“That last one is getting close.”

He sighed, shoulders sagging.

Relenting, you thought. He’s actually relenting.

“Fine, we are a fucking disaster.”

“Now you’re getting the idea,” You said.

“But I figure we can work on it.”

“By doing a project on sex in the cinema together?”

“Well,” he said. “When you put it like that it sounds dumb.”

“There’s no other way to put it! That is literally what you’re suggesting.”

“Yeah, I get that. I just…want to not get that. I want it to be easier or better or just not the way this is.”

“That could have been my daily prayer in high school, Jungkook.”

He didn’t react the way you expected to, with more weird arguing.

He just closed his eyes.

He closed them like someone had just told him his family had been in a fatal accident.

“I wish I could go back and start over again. More than wish—I would give everything I have to start over again. The wrestling, this scholarship, every party I ever went to and every fun thing I ever did. And you can choose to not believe me about that, but—”

“I believe you.”

“You do?”

“I’m as surprised as you are, but yeah.”

“Then why does this have to be such a big deal?”

You thought of Y/B/F saying attempted murder.

“Y/N that is fucking attempted murder. Babe, you don’t have to feel bad about anything you put him through now. His friends and him included, ran you over with a fucking truck. How much physio and other therapy sessions did you have to go through because of them, huh?”

The terror that used to flood you when he walked down the hall.

That ever-present sensation of a grille barrelling into your body.

“Because understanding that someone is truly sorry and wanting to spend huge amounts of time with them are two different things. I might see that you mean this, and know rationally that I can almost sort of trust you. Maybe I even want it to be that easy, too. But your face is the one I had nightmares about for two years. Your smile doesn’t seem happy to me. I associate it with cruelty.”

You shook your head. Glanced away from him so you didn’t have to see the defeated look on his face.

“It’s hard for me to look at you, Jungkook, no matter how much I appreciate what you’ve done here.”

“That was a really well-thought-out and logically sound speech.”

“I know it was. I’m pretty proud.”

“And I have no argument against it.”

“You don’t need one. What you’ve done here…” You gritted your teeth hard and looked at the ceiling. But this time it didn’t stop the tears. They were already welling up by the time You explained the rest to him.

“It means a lot. And a million men would never have done the same, I can promise you. I don’t have any messages from Jimin on my phone. Taehyung isn’t going to call anytime soon. It’s just you, a rare fantasy in the middle of all this dismal reality.”

He turned around when you were done. All the way around—and then his arms went up to cover his head and you understood. What you said had affected him, strongly. Maybe more than his words had affected you. It took him twice as long to get it together, and even after he had he couldn’t quite look at you. He just kept staring at the wall and clenching his jaw.

And saying things. Oh yeah, he said things, in a strained, shaky voice.

“I meant what I said, you know. That you are the very best.”

“I know. That’s why I’m going to ask you not to say it again.”

“I can’t stop. I have the opposite of whatever idiocy infected me in high school.”

“What, like insane-need-to-compliment fever?”

“Pretty much, yeah,” he said.

“Well it has taken a raging hold of you, let me tell you.”

“I know it seriously cannot be stopped.”

“I think you have a terminal case.”

“Not a bad way to go, if you ask me,” he said, so soft and sincere it took all your strength to stop yourself smiling in response. You could feel your lips trembling. Your cheeks ached with the effort of pinning them down, yet still You knew you were failing. You could see it in his satisfied expression.

And hear it in his words.

“That’s better. Seeing you look happy.”

“I am happy,” You said, then added without thinking: “Are you?”

Of course you didn’t mean anything by it. It was just a polite habit, based on interactions with people other than Jungkook. People who had actual problems, who lived troubled lives, who might answer with a god no. Jungkook would never need to answer with a god no. His life was full of endless possibilities and unfettered glory. He could snap his fingers and have a thousand people follow him to the ends of the earth.

He even looked that way, in the dim light of the narrow hallway between these offices.His hair was the colour of dark chocolate. Every item of clothing suited him perfectly, from the rich grey-blue of his V-neck to the jeans he’d tucked into his timberlands. He exuded cool from every pore; he could have stepped off the cover of a magazine. Yet all you could see was his face as it slowly sagged. It was like watching someone cut the strings that had held a mask in place—a mask you hadn’t known he was wearing. You thought that smiling golden god who had tormented you was the real him, but for a second you couldn’t be sure. Just for one heart-rattling second, and then the door to the office opened and that glimpse of something else was gone—so fast You would imagine later that it had never existed. It was just a trick of the light.

Better to focus on the real and the now.

“What can I do for you two today?” Professor asked.

Then you took a breath and answered.

“Nothing,” You said.

A few weeks later:

After that day, you didn’t know how or why you suddenly decided to give working with him a try, but so far, it was going…. okay. You two met up at the library, took your notes, glancing at each other once in a while, mostly Jungkook, asking each other questions relevant to your awkward topic given the situation and that was that. He made jokes sometimes that managed to get out a few carefree laughs out of you as well. It was all… comfortable. Nothing that you had expected. That is why, you decided, it was time to move on to watching actual movies for references, in your project.

It was nearly one in the morning, on a Wednesday night when you went to get him as your friend was out and that was the only time Jungkook was free after wrestling practice. Everyone was in bed, and it gave an eerie feeling to your journey back to your dorm.

As did his silence.

He was always talking—You realized that then. Sometimes he practically kept up a running commentary on everything and anything, yet here he was as quiet as stone. And it wasn’t because he was exerting himself. He didn’t breathe hard once the whole time. He could have been carrying a backpack full of air. But the idea of mental trouble lingered. When you tilted your head a little, you could practically hear his mind going over and over things, in a way that just wasn’t like him. He was easy-going. Happy-go-lucky. He never worried about things the way you did.

Until now.

“Jungkook, are you okay?”

“Yeah. Why wouldn’t I be?”

“I don’t know. You just seem a little…”

Like an ominous statue of yourself.

“I was just thinking what movie we should watch.”

“Oh. Oh. You mean…right now?” You asked.

“Well, that’s what you came to get me for.”

“That’s true, I did come and get you for that.”

“Unless you don’t want me in your room so late.”

“No, no why would I…no, that’s cool.”

“You’re in the Jubilee Building, right?”

You had the strongest urge to ask him how he knew. But that seemed just as weird as objecting to him being in your room.

“Yeah. You just go past the science block and then—”

“Right, right, right I got it, I got it. The statue of Heo Nanseolheon is outside it, yeah?”

“That’s the one. Then it’s the third floor. Don’t worry though, there’s an elevator.”

“Ah, it wouldn’t have been a big deal.”

“Do you wanna let me unlock the door?” you asked standing behind him when you both reached your dorm.

“Oh shit, yeah. Yeah, go ahead,” he said moving his bulky body out of the way as you slid past him to unlock the door. Everything had returned to the way it should be now between you and Jungkook.

Except for the sexy movie you were now going to watch.

Alone. Together. On your bed. In the middle of the night.

You let him pick the movie, thinking that would make things easier somehow. Nothing could be misconstrued, at least, that way. He wouldn’t think you meant anything by your choice, whatever it might be. But you forgot that he might mean something with his choice. You watched the heroine trying to clumsily pick up the hero at the start of White Palace, and cringed so hard it felt more like a cramp in your gut. Your cheeks grew hot, in a way that made you grateful for the dim light of your feeble bedside lamp.

Otherwise he would see your face go red and know you understood his point—despite the fact that his point was fucking nonsense.

“This is even less realistic than Dirty Dancing.”

“Really? You think so? Like, in what way?” You asked.

“It just seems like she keeps pushing and pushing. No woman would push a guy that good-looking if he didn’t seem into it. I can’t think of anything more embarrassing.”

You didn’t look at him, but knew he shrugged.

His arm rubbed against yours as he did it.

“Maybe she doesn’t care.”

“I guess not.”

“Maybe she knows he’s actually into it.”

“That could be one explanation.” Jungkook says, sighing.

“Plus she obviously gets exactly what she was looking for.” He adds.

Onscreen, Susan Sarandon was going down on James Spader.

Which to you didn’t seem to back up his point at all.

“Oh yeah, I’m sure she’s having a great time getting absolutely nothing out of this.”

“That’s what this looks like to you? Like she’s getting nothing out of this?”

“Well, in movies they make it look like she is. But I doubt she really would be.”

“You doubt that giving a guy a blow job could be enjoyable for a woman.”

You glanced at him then, just to see if his expression was as incredulous as his voice.

Then had to look back at the screen quickly. If anything, his expression was worse. He had one eyebrow raised, and there was almost no humour in his eyes. This was serious somehow. Much too serious.

“I don’t know. I mean it’s not really something you do for your own enjoyment. You do it for his.”

“So to you there’s nothing pleasurable about it. Nothing sexy about having a guy at your mercy. Begging you, moaning for you, trying not to push too deep when it gets too good.”

Your breath hitched.

“You do those things?”

The words came out too fast. Too disbelieving, too.

But You just couldn’t stop them. They ripped out of you before you had time to talk it over with you mind, all ragged around the edges and maybe a little breathless. Just enough that he likely heard it, and wondered why. You couldn’t tell him, however. You didn’t know yourself. You only knew that when he started talking again, you had the urge to put your fingers in your ears.

“Of course I do those things. Having your cock sucked is fucking amazing,” he said, which was absolutely fine.

But then he kept going.

He kept going.

“The heat and the slickness and her looking up at you as she works it with her hands and lips and tongue. Especially the tongue. The tongue is the best part. Watching it curl right around the—”

“Well, okay, it sounds cool when you put it that way.”

God your voice sounded loud. And too fast again, too. All your words practically jumbled together.

“I don’t know what other way it could possibly be.”

“How about hold still while I fuck your face? Some guy coming right in your eye? Losing a chunk of hair because he pulled too hard?”

“You’re not serious. Tell me honestly. None of that happened.”

Now his voice was bright with amusement. But it didn’t make you feel any better.

“All of that happened. To me. More than once.”

“Yeah but after…”

“After what?”

“After he came then he…”

He made a circle with his hand bobbing his head, as though you should know that one thing logically followed on from the other. It was all completely easy and obvious.

Instead of the hardest quiz you had ever had to get through. “Then he what? Gave me cab fare?”

“No. No. After that then this happens.”

You glanced at the thing he was pointing at.

Then had to look away again, quick. At your hands, at the bedspread.

At him, as he oh-so-slowly realized what your sudden awkwardness meant.

“This has never happened to you. Holy shit. You’ve never had a guy go down on you.”

“I have had a guy go down on me. I totally have.”

“Are you sure about that? You don’t look sure.”

“Well, maybe not like this.”

“There’s no other way to do it. This is actually the most basic, ordinary way to go about eating pussy.”

At those words, you could feel the fire burning on your cheeks and your breathing getting laboured. Jungkook really had no filter.

“Yeah, but this seems really exciting and sexy and hot.”

“Going down on a girl is really exciting and sexy and hot. Like I said about giving a guy head? Exactly the same principle. You get to see you writhe and shake and push herself against your mouth. Just like that, just like Sarandon is doing. Look at her. Look at her.”

“I am. I am looking,” You said, but You weren’t, not really.

You were thinking of the shiver that had gone through you when he said look, soft as butter and so oddly tender. And the way that he was looking himself, eyes almost far away.

Like he was seeing Sarandon, but putting someone else in her place.

“Think about how it must feel.”

“Yeah I can…I get that…”

“Think about his tongue slowly easing over her soft folds.”

“Is that…how…is that what you…” You said, breathlessly “Uh-huh.”

“And it works?”

You voice was a whisper now. But that was okay. His was, too. It was so low he had to lean close to ask you questions. He had to meet your gaze, and You had to meet his.

“What works?”

“It makes you…you know. Cum.”

“Oh yeah. But you gotta take your time.”

“I see. I guess that makes sense.” You were just babbling now, trying to keep up with him.

“Let it build, nice and slow. Start by just stroking her with your fingertips. Work her, you know, until her lips part. And then when she’s all open to you, you just trace the shape of her with your tongue. Lick and lick in these ever decreasing circles until you’re right…fucking…there.”

“Where? Where…where are you?”

You shouldn’t have asked. You knew you shouldn’t as soon as it was out. Your faces were too close together now, and his body seemed to be looming over yours. That was his shoulder, almost nudging your chin. And his thigh, pressing deep and hard into yours. His answer was never going to make any of this better.

Then it came, hotter than molten lava and twice as destructive.

“Her clit. Her slick, swollen clit.”

“I see. That makes sense,” You said, even though that wasn’t what you wanted to go with.

No, what you wanted to go with was more like oh my fucking God this can’t be reality.

“Then you just…stroke it.”

“Uh-huh.”

“Until she’s mindless.”

“Yeah. Yeah.”

“Doesn’t even know what she’s saying anymore, or doing. She might tell you to bite, to fuck her with your tongue and fingers, harder or faster or some word that doesn’t even make sense. Hips coming up to meet you, greedy for it, horny for it, so horny she barely notices that her hand is in your hair and she’s squeezing tight enough for it to sting, so close to coming that her whole body is shuddering and shivering and flushing that deep, good pink. Soon as you see it you just know she’s burning. That her clit is aching and throbbing and her pussy is all open and slippery, and one more second of this will make her come. She’s already coming, before you even know where you’re at. Hard, hard, hard, like she never has before.”

You were holding your breath by the time he was done. You practically had to—his face was so close now you could have blinked and brushed his cheek with your eyelashes. Every word he said seemed to stroke against your face, cool at first but then more heated. As though he was starting to boil alive inside, too. Certainly he looked that way. You have never seem him flushed like this, not even when he pushed himself during a match.

Not even when he was embarrassed.

Though you supposed that wasn’t a common occurrence. He didn’t seem to be embarrassed now, and he’d just said all those words. He said clit and pussy and slippery, as if that was just a normal way to talk to your friend. And he did it all without flinching, too. Without glancing away or putting some distance between you. In fact, those eyes of his—now heavy lidded and so soft focus—seemed intent on you more than they ever had been before. They skittered all over you face, searching for something you had no idea how to give.

You didn’t even know what the something was.

You only knew that it made you forget yourself, just as he had described.

It made you search his face back, marvelling over every brutish line and gentle curve. Those lips of his, as plump as a girl’s yet so masculine at the same time. Every inch of them gleaming, as if he’d slicked them with gloss in anticipation of a kiss. Though even in that moment you didn’t really believe you wanted that. Until he whispered, low and heavy against your own lips.

“You can, you know.”

“Can what?”

“Touch yourself.”

It jolted you, when he said it.

But not as much as realizing why he said it.

You followed his gaze down, and took in the unmistakable sight of your hand in your lap. Really, really high up in your lap. Almost between your legs, in fact—though that was fine, it was cool, it was okay. You stuttered ‘no, no I didn’t really want to do that’, but it didn’t matter.

Because his hand was actually between his legs.

“I do,” he said.

As the whole world as You knew it dissolved right in front of your eyes.

“You do?”

“Fuck, yes. I’m dying to.”

“Because of the film. Because of the movie.”

“Sure. We can say that, if you want.”

You closed your eyes. Swallowed thickly.

Wished hard that he hadn’t added that last part.

“If we could that would be awesome.”

“No problem. I mean it was probably inevitable that this would happen to us.”

“Probably, yeah. Almost definitely, in fact.”

“Just a natural response to a sexy movie.”

“Seems that way to me.”

“So you just slip your hand under your waistband, and I’ll slip my hand under mine,” he said, which was fine all on its own. The problem was that he then went ahead and did it. You tried not to look, but saw anyway. You saw the way he fumbled in his haste, as though all his talk was only calm on the surface. Underneath, something was paddling frantically. It was making his cheeks pink and his body all trembly.

And his dick hard. God, his cock was hard.

You could see that without even trying at all. The curving shape beneath his sweatpants was enormous and unmistakable, and even if it hadn’t been, his hand made it pretty clear. As You watched, he eased it over that solid length, before finally clasping it in a way that shoved the swollen head right up against the tented material. Now You could make out ruder details, like the thick ridge around the head, and the slit at the tip. Both pronounced, explicit, rude.

But that wasn’t what really got you.

It was the way he stopped to lick his palm, before shoving it

under his waistband.

“Oh my god. Oh my god. Oh my god, are you serious?”

“It’s cool. it’s fine. We don’t even have to look at each other.”

“No I guess not. I guess…I guess that I can just watch the screen.”

“We’re just two people getting off over a hot movie.”

“Exactly. Exactly.”

But that wasn’t strictly true. You weren’t getting off over the movie at all. Nothing was even happening anymore—it was just rich people looking down their noses and arguments over a Dust buster. If anything, it was vaguely depressing, rather than lust-inducing. Yet still You sat there, face burning, body tender and rigid all at the same time. Half of you stuffed so full of embarrassment and shock you sort of wanted to block everything out, the other half just shamelessly straining to hear every single tiny sound he made. Never daring to look, of course, but then…

You really didn’t need to.

He made so much noise that you could make out almost everything. Every little moan and gasp—and there were a lot of them, too. Lots of thick, guttural moans that started on an ah and ended with a kind of abrupt sigh, as though a knife had sliced through his throat before he could finish. So many soft mmms and gasps, like he honestly couldn’t get enough of whatever he was doing.

Though it was the whispers that hit you hardest. They got you right in the gut, low down and deep enough to ache. Oh yeah, he murmured, as though the hottest sex in the world was happening onscreen. As though they were fucking like animals, up and down and left and right. His tone even sounded sort of tremulous, and it got more intense as time went on. Soon he was panting, and rocking, and every now and then uttering something he was clearly imagining himself doing.

“Ah, yeah, suck my cock, just like that,” he said.

Then just to make it extra agonizing, he spat into his hand.

To make it extra slick, you thought, like someone’s mouth. Someone sucking him the way he’d described, slow and steady until he was actually shuddering, right here and now. The bed was moving, at least, and it wasn’t because he was working that cock hard. He wasn’t. He was going slow, so slow, squeezing and rolling rather than the short, fast kind of thing You’d always thought guys did. They almost never seemed to do anything else in porn…but then again they never did all this other stuff, too. You dared to turn you head a little more and saw to your astonishment that he had his hand pressed to his mouth. He was almost biting his fist, chest heaving, body shivering all over—but most important, eyes closed.

He couldn’t even see you looking. You were free to do as you pleased.Yet something held you back. You couldn’t seem to do more than peek out of the corner of you eye, and even that made you feel strange. You kept getting this clenching sensation—sort of like embarrassment or humiliation—and it got worse when his back arched. When he actually said out loud that he was almost there, that he was so close, that he was gonna come all over your duvet. I need something to do it on, he said, and even that had a shameful frisson of its own. You had a brief flash of him kneeling up and suddenly coming all over your face, or maybe pulling down that ridiculously large neck hole to expose your breasts.

Followed by an image of that thick white liquid coating you, striping you face, dripping off your tight little nipples. Him pushing his cock past your lips to finish off, groaning as he flooded your mouth.

And he would have flooded it, too. You glanced at him just in time to see him shove his sweatpants down, that big dick swelling under the pressure of his too-tight grip. Thick ribbons of come already hitting his bared belly, over and over until you were sure he must be done. He had to be, yet more kept flowing over his still-working fist. You watched it run down over his fingers in slippery trails before pooling in his lap.

Though none of it was what you kept seeing behind your eyes in the aftermath. Instead, you saw the way his face had looked as he shot his load. The open mouth, and the closed eyes, and most of all the strange, wrenching vulnerability that had covered him for a moment. No mischief, no macho bullshit—just a completely open and abandoned sort of ecstasy.

And all of it for you.

He knew you had watched him. He still knew now. You flicked your eyes back to the screen as he started to catch his breath, but the first thing he did was include you.

“Guess I kind of made a mess here,” he said, everything about his tone suggesting two conspirators, finishing off their evil deed. You even got up after he’d said it, to get him a tissue.

Though when You got back he’d pretty much taken care of most of it.

You stopped in the doorway to the bathroom at the sight: Him, casually licking his messy fingers.

It took you a good two minutes after that to go over to him, with your fistful of toilet paper. And when you did go, it was on very shaky legs. Your whole body felt shaky, in fact—though not in any way you’d experienced before. This was like being full to the brim with something burning hot, skin so close to ripping that it couldn’t keep still. Sometimes you thought you could see it shivering slightly under the strain, and every inch of it was tender, so tender. His leg brushed yours as you sat down, and it was agony. You even winced—then immediately regretted it.

He had been concentrating on clean-up. Now he looked up at you sharply.

And asked questions You were loathing to answer.

“Have you…not? I mean have you not—”

“I couldn’t. I’m sorry, I couldn’t.”

“God, you must be bursting.”

“Honestly, I’m fine.”

The problem was though; you didn’t seem fine.

You couldn’t meet his gaze. Your hands were fists on your thighs.

And of course he could see all of that.

“You look like you’re bursting.”

“Oh yeah? And what does bursting look like?”

“Your voice is shaking.”

“Is it?” You asked, voice so light it almost passed.

Almost, almost, almost.

“Your cheeks are flushed.”

“Are they?”

“And then there’s the fact that your nipples are like diamonds. Fuck, look how stiff they are. Isn’t that agonizing, having them like that? I bet your clit’s the same. Bet your pussy is so wet. So wet you’re making a mess of the nice, clean clothes.”

Your cheeks grew hotter and hotter as he whispered each word. By the time he was done they felt like they were going to melt right off you face. That tense, cringing feeling in your stomach was ten times worse, and that was before he got to the last point. The one about the clothes, and the mess, and oh god what if he was right? It felt as if he might be. You weren’t wearing any underwear, and everything was really slippery between your legs. You could feel it, every time You moved.

“Oh fuck, sorry, sorry I don’t…I hope…it’s just that—” You didn’t even know why you were apologizing

“Honey, you don’t need an explanation.”

His tone was like sinking into a warm bath—and the thumb you could feel stroking over you forearm only pulled you deeper down. He just did it so idly. So like he wasn’t touching you at all.

Before you knew it, you were up to your ears in liquid heat.

“Are you sure? Because it kind of feels like I do.”

“I’m sure. I mean, the movie was pretty intense.”

“Right, exactly. Super intense.”

“So why deny yourself?”

“I’m not…denying…anything.”

“I could leave, if you want.”

“No, god no,” You said, too fast and too fierce.v

Though it was only afterward that you realized how it sounded: Not like someone trying to say you didn’t want to masturbate. Like someone saying that you wanted him to stay.

And he took it that way, too.

“Or, you know. I could just…do it for you,” he said.

Then you just had to do your best not to go out of your mind.

You stopped herself from jumping up. Kept your hands from flailing.

Didn’t look at him, in case looking made you do something crazy.

“Oh my god. You can’t be serious. You can’t be serious.”

“Probably wouldn’t take a lot.”

“I always take a lot.”

“Even when you’re alone?”

“Especially when I’m alone.”

“Well, maybe we should see about that.”

Again, you had the urge to get up. Maybe you even would have, if it hadn’t been for the other things he was doing. The thumb stroking your arm was now the back of his hand, running the length of your arm over and over. And that was his breath against the curve of your throat, so close and warm he could have been kissing you there. It felt like kissing.

Only without the scariness of the real thing.

All of this was without the scariness of the real thing. It was just a game, that was all—and one that you could win if you really put you mind to it. He thought he could get you so easily, but he was utterly and completely wrong. You were a rock, in the face of whatever he was going to do. You were impervious to the pleasure he seemed to think he was going to dole out, to the point where you almost laughed when he slipped his hand beneath the waistband of those too-big sweatpants.

It was weird. Slightly uncomfortable.

Not sexy in the least.

And then his fingertips just oh-so-lightly grazed the pouting lips of your swollen pussy, and things pretty much started to go downhill from there. The sensation it sent through you was just so intense, and over something so small. He hadn’t even slipped between them to your clit, or eased a finger into your slick little hole. In truth, you weren’t entirely sure he’d touched you at all.

Yet you still had to clench your jaw.

You had to tell herself that it was just the stuff that had happened before—the film and him coming and then licking his fingers like a satisfied cat. It wasn’t anything to do with this right now, with him touching you, with his skill. He wasn’t skilful at all. He was terrible. Awful.

he worst lover you had ever had.

You had no idea why your thighs were trembling. Or what made you moan when he finally, finally, finally eased his fingers into that slick slit, and then topped it off by telling you just what he found there.

“Ohhhh fuuuuck you are wet. You’re so wet. Jesus Christ, Y/N, how can you stand it? How can you sit still and quiet with those eyes closed when your pussy is like this? So slippery I can just glide all the way down and ease on in and oh man, oh man,” he said, and all You could do in response was shiver and make a number of embarrassing noises. First for his words, and then oh god then for the feel of him doing it.

He used two fingers—two of those long, thick fingers—yet somehow it didn’t hurt when he pushed into you. There was no fumbling or searching. Your body just seemed to open for him, as though they’d dated for years and he’d worked on you for hours. He knew exactly how to touch you there, and when he did you simply had to respond. Your gasp rung out in the small room.Though you vowed it would be the last one. That was it now—you weren’t going to give him the satisfaction of anything else. Not even when he started working his fingers in and out, slow and steady and so unbelievably good. you kind of wanted to cry over the unfairness of it. Why was he the one who had to be so good at this? How did he know how to do it in this deliberate, teasing, tantalizing way?

Even watching him do it was exciting. You made the mistake of glancing down and all you could see was his hand rolling beneath the material, the waistband occasionally stretching to give you a glimpse of your glossy cunt, his gleaming fingers, the way you were spread around that thick intrusion…

Fuck.

You had to look at the screen just to stop yourself coming right then and there—though even those measures had an exciting quality of their own. James Spader was just doing something incredibly dull now, while you sat here watching through slitted eyelids, cheeks flushed and legs spread, as a man slowly fingered your slick, flushed pussy. Back and forth, back and forth, until you were so beside yourself you weren’t sure you even wanted to hold back your moans. You only knew that you were still trying, for reasons that seemed vague and far away now. It just doesn’t matter, your mind hissed, but you kept it up anyway. You held yourself more tightly and bit deep into your lip—deep enough that you tasted blood. And when he started to ease those fingers up, you shut your eyes tight. You thought of other things, more boring things: dry books and bird-watching. All to no avail. He made one circle around your clit.

Just one tiny, insignificant circle, and that was it. Your orgasm rolled up from that stiff little bud, in one all-consuming and all-powerful wave. It took away your control over your body—your toes curled tight and your back arched. But most important, it took away your control over your mouth. It let one little word slip out.

Though one little word was more than enough.

“Jungkook,” You said, and after that the game was pretty much up. That was gratitude in your voice and pleasure in the sigh behind it, and all wrapped in the neat little bow of his name. There was no more pretending that it wasn’t him who had made you feel this way, or suggesting that all of this was just a game.And he knew it immediately. He kept up the thrusts of his long, thick fingers, helping you prolong the feeling of your orgasm for as long as possible. And he didn’t stop there. Your face was starting to contort from the oversensitivity and it was obvious that Jungkook knew it too from the way he bit his lip and started to purposely move his fingers faster once again.

“Ahh! J-Jungkook… I can’t….” You moaned out, though this seemed to have no effect on him as he seemed determined to elicit another orgasm from you. His fingers scraping against your tightening walls as they fought to repeatedly slam back inside you. Your thighs were shaking, your eyes half lidded, leaning back on your hands as his worked between your legs. Suddenly you gripped Jungkook’s moving hand as you came dangerously close to letting go.

“That’s it, fuck, cum again for me Y/N. I need this. You need this” He almost sounded desperate and it made you want to sob because everything was so fucking hot.

With a cry of his name, you came undone again, your body almost curling in towards itself from the sensitivity.

“Holy shit, holy shit,” he said, as though you’d cried out the filthiest thing on the face of the earth. And, again, he didn’t stop there. You could hear him fumbling with the waistband of his sweatpants already—though you tried to turn it into something else in your head. He was just pulling them up, you thought. They had slid down as he serviced you, that was all.

Only it wasn’t all.

When you made the mistake of glancing his way, you saw so much more than you were ready for. It was supposed to be over now, completely over, but he’d shoved everything down to mid-thigh and his cock was in his hand again and god god god why was it so arousing? You’d had cum twice already. He’d had one orgasm already, and now he was being so fucking filthy.

Yet somehow the filthiness only made it worse.

You came searingly close to telling him yes.

And go on.

And come all over me—just like you’d imagined.

For one wild second, it even seemed like he might. He was groaning and panting and he kept saying things, incredible things like “do you see what you do to me do you get how fucking horny you make me oh fuck just hearing you moan my name”. His hand was heavy on your shoulder, and you knew he was close. He was going to yank your top down any second now.

Any second, you thought.

Though you didn’t realize how much you wanted it until the first thick burst slid over his fist.

Didn’t know how little control you had over herself until he grunted your name and shuddered violently, that slick fluid easing over his still-pumping fist. After all, if you’d had any you would have stayed right where you were, content to just watch.Instead of leaning forward to take that heavy, swollen, slippery head in your mouth, to catch the last ribbons of his salt-sweet cum all over your eager tongue.

“Fucking fuck, Jagiya” Jungkook cursed loudly, watching you take the head of his cock in your mouth. He slid his hands in your hair, gripping it from the bottom of your skull gently, rocking your face back and forth, riding out the last of his high. You looked up at him, eye still glassed over, breathing hard and laboured and slid the head of him out of your mouth.

There was no doubt that Jungkook was shocked at your boldness but he seemed pleasantly surprised. His pupils blown out, lips swollen, skin gleaming. He truly was a work of art. The magnitude of what you two had done hit you hard. So, naturally, there was only one thing left to do in panic.

Kick him out.

“Jungkook…you need to leave”

A/N: So, Idk what happened but yeah hope you all enjoy. Not sure if I’ll make this a series since I’m bad at continuing ideas. I may stick to separate scenarios. I get bored easily. However, please feel free to check out my blog and send me ideas for new fics

some reminders 🌱

🌱 give yourself water and sunlight

🌿 always take time to breathe and relax

🍃 remember it’s never too late to start over

🍏 be sure to have something to eat!

🥒 don’t forget to make time for self care

🍵 drink a warm beverage if you feel down

🛶 always stay in touch with nature

🖼 don’t stop creating

💚 do everything with kindness

Liability (Part 1)

A/N: FINALLY posting something. This is based off a recent even that happened in my life and I kinda needed to write it all down…let me know what you think! Especially since I haven’t written in forever! 

Dean x Reader, Sam, Jody, Claire

Word Count: 1000+

Warnings: Angst, Swearing

The two of you had avoided each other for weeks.

What went from hurtful words spewed at you in the heat of the moment, to you needing time, which then eventually led to the art of stonewalling that the two of you perfected in. And now here you were with this awful knot in your throat, your mind curled in on itself, two hands firmly holding the steering wheel, driving in the middle of buttfuck nowhere. You couldn’t even remember what the two of you had been arguing about in the first place, but the overwhelming sense of not being of any use to him, of being an inconvenience, a liability, was enough to have you putting as much distance as you possibly could from Lebanon, Kansas.

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Love Always Wakes the Dragon

(and suddenly flames everywhere)

It could be worse. You do have all the luxuries befitting a princess, though one charged with treason. But a gilded cage is still a cage. And the prospect of withering away in this, the tallest tower of the Palace of Asgard, in the same place where your once-betrothed will live and marry and rule from, it’s almost too much to bear.


author: sugardaddytonystark (formerly buckysbackpackbuckle)
pairing: Thor x Jotun!Reader
word count: 4067
warnings: brat prince Thor, unprotected sex, oral sex, hair pulling, choking

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smol not so conventional note-taking tips.

* = methods that can work on computers/devices as well.

1. Split your pages into two columns. Write out your class notes in one column, and continue to do this with your notes. Then, when you’ve read over your notes, try to recall as much info from each page as possible and write it all out on the second column. I find that remembering things with no trigger (for example a question) makes it more likely to actually the remember the info on a test. Then, fill in the info you couldn’t remember, preferably in a different colour, and flashcard/summary foldable this info. This is based on my other post. *

2. If you need to understand how different concepts link together, don’t just put together a mind map with the concepts in front of you. If you want to do this in class, box different concepts/sub topics in random places across the page and just keep doing that.  Your boxes don’t need to be surgical precision neat, they can be weird squiggly kind of lines, it really doesn’t matter. Once you’re done with the lecture, try and remember as many of the boxes as possible (and again fill in the gaps and flashcard if you need to memorise it) and then link as you keep writing out the boxes. Guess what?! You’ve linked all of your stuff, and from memory too!! The boxes with the most links should be the focus of your revision later on. *

3. If you’re taking notes from a video, sure, write down the dialogue, but also do a quick sketch of the diagrams that go along with the dialogue, and draw arrows to indicate which goes with which for future reference. And then, to test yourself in a more visual kind of way, redraw the diagrams only and see if you can remember the info associated with it. That way, you’re not only presenting info in a different way but you’re also testing yourself on the info but in a more fun way. This could work really well with chem compounds, and bonus, you can even box certain components of the diagram to help test your knowledge on both the info associated with the diagram and the diagram itself! (If your diagrams are hella complex, print them out, or if you’re using a computer, just drag and drop and layer on some text boxes friend I got you) *

4. Use a multi-pen for class notes if you want to colour code but save time so you don’t fall behind during the class/lecture. (for all my handwriters, this one’s for you)

Ten things to do in 2017:

1. Take it a day at a time. You don’t have to know what you’re doing the next day or even the next hour. I’ve learned that the more you think in the future, the shorter the day seems and the months fly past you and you’re left feeling discontent and unsatisfied. It’s almost like everything has been in a blur, and you find yourself saying, “the year went by so fast”, even though you haven’t accomplished much. So do everything in the moment of ‘now’, and cherish each minute like it’s the last minute you have.

2. Let it go. You know nothing is going to change, because you can’t change people unless they truly want to and you can’t change the past either, and the sooner you realize this, you will spend more time being happy than in a constant battle with your mind and your heart. They need to rest too.

3. Take risks. If you never take any, the moment that turned out for the worst could have turned out for the best. This works vice-versa as well, but either way, you will learn from these experiences. You won’t forget how rapidly your heart was beating in these moments and how electric you felt. It will be worth it in the end, trust me.

4. Call up that person that you didn’t spend enough time getting to know, simply because you were too distracted with somebody else or just didn’t feel like you’d become something more than acquaintances. Greet strangers and embrace the idea of diversity. Ask questions about different cultures, morals, ideas, beliefs; educate yourself as much as you can.

5. Go ahead and wear that outfit you keep telling yourself that it doesn’t look good on you. You bought it because you liked it, yes? So, show it to the whole damn world. If you do it with a smile and confidently squared shoulders—even better. You are beautiful.

6. Instead of procrastinating and wallowing in self-pity, get up and do something. Sitting around is not going to do much but make you feel horrible, and you’ll create scenarios that may not even exist or be as big in your head that will cause matters to become worse. You want this to be your year of explosive progress? Set goals and strive to achieve them. You want to look back at the end of the year and say, “I did good”.

7. Spend more time with your family or friends. Build a support system so strong, that you will never feel lonely. In fact, this support system will lead you to feeling content even when you are alone, because you won’t feel the constant need to either be with someone or have somebody who loves you, because you know you’ll have people who love you and the more love you surround yourself with, the easier it becomes to love yourself too.

8. Be kind always and be angry when you need to be. Stand up for the ideas that you believe in and don’t back down from them just because you have a different opinion. Learn to love the sound of your voice when it bounces off the walls of a classroom full of people, because your voice has the power to change a million minds. Remember, you are allowed to feel whatever it is you feel.

9. Go on more road trips or just take a few minutes to be outside by yourself. Inhale and exhale the air around you. Watch the stars, the sunset, the sunrise, the birds flying in the sky, the cars passing by. Walk in the rain sometimes without an umbrella, instead of running. Let the sunlight soak your skin more often. God, isn’t the world itself beautiful?

10. Be faithful. This is the year you hoped to be better. Don’t let anything stop you from achieving that, because you are limitless as long as you believe yourself to be.

—  Ten things to do in 2017

Originally in pink by @novice-heartbreaker 💙

Remember, pals, it’s okay to eat! It’s okay if you have to take medication to get the same balance of chemicals in your brain as other people! It’s okay to care for yourself, even if you don’t think you deserve it (you do)! It’s okay to need a break, too! You are ALL loved!

💙Please don’t remove credit/caption💙

Shelter - Remus Lupin x Reader (contains smut)

Request: would you ever do a PoA Professor Lupin and student y/n smut imagine?? If you can’t, then that’s okay! I absolutely love your work and if you’re not comfortable with writing it, then that’s absolutely fine ✨

Warnings:  This is a PROFESSOR Remus imagine that contains smut. It’s perfectly legal since the reader is 18. However, if you do not like the idea or feel comfortable with it, please don’t read this. Just scroll past it. (I have to tell you though, that there is nothing wrong with relationships with an age difference-personal experience.) .Other than that, my English and the smut part, which is not the most graphic smut I have written. (under the cut)
Image and gifs aren’t mine/ Credits to their original owners. 
Word count: 6k+
MASTERLIST

You knew you were in for a hell of a year since the moment you laid eyes on him. You didn’t know why or what but you knew… your last year would be a year to remember.
You had missed the Sorting Ceremony, again. So, you went to your dorm and settled things down while you waited for everyone to fall asleep. You would then sneak to the kitchens and grab something to eat. Naturally, you were in for a surprise, but of course, you had no idea.
After a while, it was late enough for you to go unnoticed. You had quickly found the pear and tickled it, transforming it into a door- knob. You smiled to yourself. You had found your way around the castle without that ridiculous map that the twins had stolen from Filch’s office. You knew every single secret passageway and every single corridor-you knew Hogwarts. You were friends with them, with all of the Weasleys. Maybe it had something to do with the fact that you had briefly dated Charlie. Even though you had realized that you were better off as friends after a while. You had bonded with the twins over Quidditch and pranks. You had tried to make them study-it had ended badly; your hair had gone pink, the color you hated the most, for a week.
You crept inside the kitchens, and almost immediately were greeted by the kind house elves.
“Hello, Miss! Welcome back!! What can Bloom get you, miss?” one of them asked you.
“What have I told you, guys? It’s just Y/N” you smiled warmly at them. They just shrugged it off and started preparing only Merlin knows what. At some point, you were worried about the amount of food they were piling up, so you just stopped them, reaching for the chocolate bar that was right before you.
“Um, guys… Chill. I think I’ll just grab some chocolate and-” but before you could finish off with your sentence you heard a low cough like someone wanted to make their presence known, coming from behind you back. Oh, no. You slowly turned around, ready to face the music-and probably Snape and detention- only to find a very, very, disturbingly young man, looking at you, rather amused.
He had a beautiful face no matter his scars, that under the dim candle light illuminating the room, seemed to be soft and strangely attractive. He must have been in his early thirties, you thought. Oh, shit. He has to be your new DADA professor. He was your teacher? Great.
“Hello” you said sheepishly and lowered your gaze, but not for long. You found yourself way too captivated by his kind eyes to look away. You saw him fighting a chuckle.
“It’s past curfew, miss…” he trailed off, not really reprimanding you. You smiled and all your confidence had rushed back in.  You were never the coward one.
“Y/L/N. Oh, I know” you said, raising an eyebrow in emphasis. You liked challenging people. Not too much but just enough. Which seemed to be the case here as well. He was slightly surprised at your answer. He thought that you would apologize and rush out of the kitchen. But there you were, sitting on the table, opening the wrapped chocolate bar, answering back completely nonchalant. He stayed silent for a couple of seconds while you hadn’t even dreamt of breaking the eye contact you held with him. His eyes.
“You do realize I could give you detention, Miss Y/L/N, right?” he asked you. You could tell that he intended to be strict but it didn’t exactly work. Instead, his tone sounded playful and a bit… provocative. You jumped off the table, walking over to him-it wasn’t your fault he was standing near the door.
“But you won’t” you said steadily while piercing his eyes with your intense gaze. He was taken aback by your boldness. You chuckled lightly.
“Goodnight… professor” you bid him goodbye, sending him a wink before you walked out.
Oh, boy. What just happened?



You knew it was going to be bad. The moment you walked into his class, you just knew it.
He had insisted on focusing on the practical experience of facing a boggart. You knew very well that you weren’t capable of facing your worst feat. It was simple, really. You didn’t fear something that could take shape. You feared your own mind. Your life was a lonesome experience and you could understand that very fact more than anyone. You carried the weight of humanity itself with you everywhere you went. You could say that you were trouble. You never really fitted in- your mind was so unending, you knew no limitations. Dumbledore had said that those were signs of geniuses. You thought that those were the signs of madness. Nobody quite understood what made you different, you didn’t even understand it yourself- but you felt it. You felt deep in your bones. You were the lone, last star of each ending night, that was still shining brightly as the sun began to rise.
You knew you were no good. Maybe, professors saw an excellent student; maybe, your friends saw an amazing prankster; maybe your ex had seen a great lover. But none of those things were true. Not entirely, at least. And that feeling, being numb, that was your worst fear. It paralyzed you.
That was why, when that boggart never took shape, you were instantly unable to move. Nobody really knew what was going on. Your classmates thought you feared nothing and the boggart couldn’t morph, but he knew the truth. Before he could help you, you had helped yourself. You weren’t looking for a knight-you were looking for a sword. You remembered every single moment that you felt like you had a family of your own. The twins making you burst into laughter in the middle of the Great Hall with their crazy pranks, Cedric making you feel welcomed and appreciated with his kind personality, Oliver counting on you to win the game. You were not alone, and you gave a silent promise to yourself to never feel numb. Even if the pain became too much to handle. Even if there wasn’t a single hope left. Even if the end was near. You would never shut yourself. Because, feeling, even the pain, was what made us humans. Because feeling and feeling too much was better than forgetting what it was like to have emotions. Feelings made something real. And you wouldn’t change that for the world.
You hadn’t turned your boggart into something funny. You had simply placed it back inside the trunk that it had been. You looked at him, searching for something you didn’t even know what it was. His soft, rich caramel eyes were already on you. He seemed… confused. You stepped back, letting the next person in line perform the spell. You slipped out of the class and you knew that he had noticed, but you simply couldn’t stay there. However, you knew that he knew, so you had to face him at some point. But you couldn’t bring yourself to do that. You couldn’t face those big, soft, caramel eyes. Oh, Merlin. I am melodramatic. 



For the next month, you had avoided his classes. You would come up with excuses, silly ones to stay away from him. You knew it wasn’t… shit, what were you supposed to do? Because the truth was… you had developed a crush on your professor. You couldn’t help it. He was kind and caring and sweet and gentle, he had helped Harry with his boggart… and you knew what he was hiding. You had guessed it the very first time you saw him. The secret behind his scars. Scars that to everybody else would seem… weird, or even ugly. But to you… to you, they were perfect. You wanted to trace your hands along his scars, you wanted to kiss every single one of them. And you had to contain yourself, or you would sigh in front of everyone.
“Hello?”. You snapped your head towards… Fred and George.
“What?” you asked as in a haze. You couldn’t possibly focus on anything else but him. You were having breakfast- well, coffee to be exact- and you could feel his eyes burning holes on your back. You knew it was him and you felt guilty. He hadn’t even mentioned that you were skipping classes to Dumbledore.
“Lupin told us to tell you to get your ass to his office after class” the said in unison. You raised an eyebrow in question.
“He told you to get my ass to his office?” you asked sarcastically, but you were too worried and stressed out to actually care.
“Well, not per say. But that was the meaning. What did you do?” Fred said at once. You, however, didn’t want to answer. Because you knew what had led him to call you to his office. Your mind though, oh… that dirty little mind of yours. You were imagining all kind of inappropriate things you would do to him if you ever had the chance. And then it hit you.
You would have to attend his class today in order to see him after. That little shit. Suddenly, you weren’t feeling all that guilty.
“Nothing that concerns you two” you answered calmly. They just smirked. Sometimes, you could swear, they were able to read your mind. You blushed and kept your head lowered.
Great.
The day had passed in a blur. You didn’t really pay attention to any of your classes until… his.
You were about to sit down as far away as possible when you realized that the were no desks or seats. Your eyes met his. For the first time in a month, you felt your heart squeezing in a strange way. His eyes were intense and a bit greener and a little less caramel that what you remembered. And captivating. Always so captivating.
Before you could continue your daydream, more students walked in and he removed his gaze from yours.
“Does anyone know what a Patronus is?” he asked the class after a while. His voice was soft and melodic, rich and kind. You had it bad.
“A Patronus is primarily used to repel Dementors. They can also be used for communication by accomplished witches and wizards, sir” a girl said, ogling him, causing you the urge to throw up.
“Very well. What else can you tell us?” he continued and you felt like you could melt. It was his voice, so it was his fault.
“The Patronus is Guardian which acts as a shield between you and the Dementor like a projection of the very things that the Dementor feeds upon such hope, happiness, the desire to survive. However, since the Patronus is an incantation the Dementors can’t hurt it. The Patronus has two forms, non-corporeal and corporeal. A non-corporeal Patronus can appear as ‘a thin wisp of silver’ that hovers ‘like mist.’ Whereas a corporeal Patronus has a form that is clearly defined and is more than vapor or smoke. The ability to cast a corporeal or non-corporeal Patronus is down to the skill of the witch or wizard. Each Patronus is unique to the witch or wizard who conjures it, and it’s possible, in some cases, for a Patronus to change” you said looking him directly in the eyes. You simply had to answer, otherwise that… girl would receive his attention. Oh, no. No. No. You couldn’t be… were you jealous? Great. Amazing. You had a crush on your professor and you were jealous of everyone who caught his eye. Very… nice.
He was clearly taken aback; he didn’t believe you would participate since you had been avoiding his classes for a month now.
“Precisely miss Y/L/N” he praised you and you blushed. Where was your confidence? He went on about the charm, how to pronounce it and details about the way to cast it, but you already knew that. You may haven’t been able to produce a corporeal Patronus yet but you had been practicing since a very young age.
“Miss Y/L/N. Why don’t you demonstrate for us?” he simply asked you in a way you could have never said no. He gestured the front of the class. Another amazing moment of your amazing day.
You walked over there confidently, suddenly feeling like yourself again.
You focused on your memories. Not one, as he had said, but many happy ones. Your first time on a broom, your first Quidditch game, your Hogwarts letter, your friends and the pranks you had pulled, the people you cared about. Before you could control it, his face appeared only to disappear seconds later. You didn’t have to say the incantation out loud. With a flicker of your wand, a silvery form emerged. Was that a… Thestral?
The creature walked towards you and bow down its head for you to pet it. You placed your-shaking- hand on its fragile head. It was so surreal. You knew you were one of few people who could see those magnificent animals. They are only visible to people who have seen someone dying and fully accepted, understood and internalized the concept. The animal slowly raised its head and its eyes met his, lowering lightly its head in an indication of respect and then it disappeared. You didn’t move for a few seconds after that. You could hear that the other students were performing the spell as well. Some of them, summoning a corporeal Patronus, some of them not. You were a bit lost for a while after that, so, naturally, you jumped slightly when you felt a hand on your shoulder, shaking you gently. You focused your vision on his face, but you were too confused to remember your little crush.
“Are you alright?” he asked you politely but concerned. You hadn’t realized that no one else was in the classroom. You nodded, forcing a smile, but it was too weak to last more than a couple seconds.
With his hand on your back, he prompted you to his desk and made you sit down.
“Why a Thestral?” you questioned, not really asking him; you asked yourself. He eyed you cautiously.
“A Patronus is a representation of who you are and is manifested by a creature that represents you in some way. I have to ask you… have you witnessed a death?” he quietly asked you. They all did, eventually.
“Three. My parents and my brother were killed-no, murdered by Voldemort himself. Such an honor” you answered softly, trying to prevent the memories from drowning you, therefore the use of sarcasm. He seemed to grow quieter. You didn’t want pity.
“I think it is safe to say that those with this Patronus often have the gentlest souls of all, an exceptional wizard or witch who has emerged strong from a dark past” he said in a small voice, making eye contact with you, or trying to, since you wouldn’t look anywhere near him.
“I do have to ask you one more thing. Why did you avoid my class the previous month?” he continued once he realized that you weren’t going to look at him. What could you possibly tell him?
“First the boggart, now my Patronus. What is it with your class that makes my life so difficult?” you playfully asked. It was your coping mechanism. You dared to look at him, a small smile playing on his lips-oh, his lips… and that small scar on his upper lip… 


It was your birthday, it was Saturday and it was freezing. You had the day to yourself since your friends had visited Hogsmeade. You had decided to stay and stroll around the almost empty castle. It was snowing and everything was covered in white. It was serene. You had purposely missed the breakfast so you could sneak something from the kitchens- some chocolate and tea would be nice. This time you greeted the house elves but since they didn’t have something to do, you wouldn’t keep them there, forcing them to make you something. You were a big girl. You could do it yourself.  

You were boiling the water needed for the tea when a small cough made you jump and spill it on you. Many profanities left your mouth that moment.
“I’m sorry, Y/N. Oh, Merlin, you must have burnt yourself” a guilty voice said, making you snap your head towards it. You were face to face with him. He seemed tired, exhausted really. And then you remembered… the full moon was two days ago. His eyes were more caramel that green, this time. You quickly muttered a drying spell along with a healing one and smiled comfortingly.
“No need to. I’m perfectly alright” you said extremely nonchalant. You returned to the counter and started preparing tea again.
“What brings you here, Professor?” you inquired amused. He let out a heavy breath and came next to you, placing his back against the edge of the wooden counter. Well, it wasn’t his back, but his hips… but that, you chose to ignore.
You had talked and chatted few times after class, before class, in between classes. For nothing and everything. Sometimes he would do the talking, sometimes he would listen. Sometimes he would let something small of his past slip. You could tell that he didn’t mean to, but he didn’t really regret it either. Sometimes your conversations would be about the weather; sometimes about the very meaning of existence. A week ago, he had found himself wanting to tell you about his secret. You had seen it in his eyes. That was the thing about you. People were opening up to you, easily. It had something to do with the fact that you never judged anyone, that you accepted almost everything, that you wouldn’t be afraid to fight and stand up for your loved ones. He had discovered that you may were just eighteen, but you weren’t just eighteen. And even though you didn’t know this, he had found himself waiting with anticipation your next talk.
He hadn’t answered when you handed him a cup of tea. It was your favorite and quite coincidentally his as well. He smiled at you, but he was tired and you felt bad for him. You reached for the top self-even though you weren’t that tall, you managed to get it. Two of the most amazing chocolate bars ever created. You smiled brightly, handing him one. He looked puzzled but entertained.
“When someone gives you chocolate, you don’t ask questions. You just take it” you said in a playfully serious tone, taking a sip of your tea. It was hot and exactly what you needed.
“Thank you, Y/N” he told you, rather moved by your small action. You just shrugged it off.
“So what brings you here?” he asked you, moments later, a smirk plastered on his face, lighting up the whole country.
“Hey!” you retorted. It wasn’t fair, using your question. He raised his eyebrows in amusement. You rolled your eyes, dramatically.
“Fine. I wanted to have my special day spent with chocolate” you informed him, but he furrowed his eyebrows. You sighed heavily to add to the drama.
“It’s my birthday” you said with a fake exasperation. His eyes twinkled with something that if you didn’t know any better you would identify as…hope? Mixed with something else. You couldn’t quite put your finger on it, but it was there. He placed down his cup and chocolate onto the table next to him.
“Happy Birthday!” he wished you, excitedly. Before you could answer, he had enveloped you into a hug. You were thrown off. Like, completely off. After a few seconds, though, you shyly hugged him back, whispering a ‘thank you’ before breaking apart. He seemed shocked and happy and more shocked. Like he didn’t expect himself to be that bold. Or you to return the gesture. He had even blushed-something that made you realize that your crush was long gone and it had been replaced by something deeper. A connection you couldn’t understand in all its glory because you had never felt like that before.
“Thank you, Professor” you said again but it didn’t feel right, calling him professor.
“Call me Remus outside the class” he said so naturally that, again, he was taken aback by his own words and boldness. You chuckled lightly.
“Remus” you said tentatively. He instantly smiled and your whole world seemed brighter.


You were proud of yourself. You hadn’t missed a single class and your grades were better than ever. You enjoyed school this year, but for entirely different reasons. It was something about him that made you feel… good, after a long time. You were very well aware of everything that would appear to be ‘problematic’. But you were also aware of your feelings. You felt l so naked when you were with him. He could strip you of your walls, of your guarded defenses, leaving you completely and utterly vulnerable. He had shattered any mental boundaries you had ever possessed. He left you breathless with his aura and creative, rhythmic way of speaking to everyone. You were losing your mind and falling into madness and it felt okay, almost a necessity. He showed you how to embrace the lack of time that humans all have, that death was the inevitable and that was not as important as people around you made it seem. You were out of your mind and that was such a wonderful thing.
Your conversations were longer and more meaningful; you had found yourself in the Astronomy Tower the other night, talking to him about your love for the night sky and how you preferred the stars over the moon. Especially the full moon-you had seen him tensed up a bit and you had ‘accidentally’ let a hint slip through your lips. You had gone silent after that until you decided to tell him. You asked him when he would trust you enough, if ever. He had looked bewildered and slightly worried. You had smiled his anxiousness away, letting him know that you knew, and it was perfectly alright because it was still him, even if he didn’t think that. That you couldn’t care less. You didn’t know this, but in that moment, he had to admit to himself something that he kept pushing away all this time. He was captivated by your very essence. And it didn’t matter that you were a student-he never saw you as anything less than an equal; sometimes he saw someone greater in you- greater than anyone who had met before. Someone who held the wisdom of the world inside their soul. You had told him that you had always felt older than your age and that even Dumbledore had said that sometimes you were older than him. He had laughed and that sound was honey to your ears.
Ever since that night, you were closer to each other, stealing glances and sending small smiles even across the class. You could sense that he was low-key, proud of you when you declined every single boy that had come up and asked you out on a date. You didn’t want to get your hopes up, but you felt it.
Due to your past of falsehoods, you had developed this theory that all men are no good, worthless. He had shown you that men could be loyal, passionate, tender, and caring creatures. The boys you have dealt with were the complete opposite. He had made you see that there was a huge difference between the boys you had dated and the man you craved. You had finally met someone who meant more than a lot to you. And not just the ‘he makes me feel special’ but that person that you would fight harder for than you would for yourself. That person that made you want to be better, that showed you your true essence that you didn’t know existed until they came along. You had discovered things about yourself just from being with him. It started as a crush; after a while, you found yourself in love; and now… you could feel something more. Something selfless. It was the little things he would do that made you smile and cry at the same time. You knew that he felt it too-maybe not in the romantic way you did, but still. There was a connection that no one could deny.
It was a cold February night but your heart was warmer than ever. In fact, it was so warm you couldn’t handle it. You couldn’t really take it anymore. You had found your way to his chambers. You didn’t really know how you were to say this. You couldn’t exactly walk in and go all ‘Hello, I’m in love with you. Okay, bye’. But once he opened the door, even that felt like a good idea. He was ravishing in the dim light. He smiled and it seemed that the sun had lost its glory. His eyes captured yours and you felt like you could melt under his gaze. You loved him. Merlin, you did. How could you be so stupid, thinking that it was just a crush? When you didn’t respond, he furrowed his eyebrows, asking you if you were alright, stepping aside so you could walk in.
The moment that door closed, every single restraint you had… was gone. Every single defensive mechanism… gone.
“I need to tell you something. I am in love with you. I have been for a while now. And I know that I am not supposed to feel that way. But I do and I can’t shake you off of my mind. You’re constantly there, reminding of everything I want and cannot have. Your mind is a masterpiece and your soul is ethereal. Extremely delicate and light in a way that seems too perfect for this world. Effortlessly, you shine brighter than the sun itself and when you smile, every pair of knees weaken, bowing down to the ingenious design you are. You are the kind of art that captures the blinding light that keeps me from opening my eyes, but how I foolishly don’t mind and long to go blind by such greatness. Your imperfections are my delight” you finally told him. You had let go of everything that was holding you back. You knew what he would tell you and you knew that he would try to make it hurt as less as possible, but he would start avoiding you. And even the thought hurt but you couldn’t cope with it any longer. When you finally looked at him, he was pale and visibly shaken.
“I think you should go” he said in a small voice. He didn’t sound mad or angry or strict. You nodded. You had clearly overstepped your boundaries. You reached for the knob, but before you opened the door, you whispered a question that would torture his mind for a while.
“Is it because of the ‘difficulties’ or because you don’t like me like that? I don’t need an answer. But you do”. With that, and a stolen glance you left his room, closing the door behind you.
You let out a long breath. At least, you were honest with him and most importantly, with yourself. He was your teacher after all and almost twice your age. You could see the ‘problems’ as other people would call them. You weren’t stupid. You were, however, completely, unconditionally and irrevocably in love with him. But that didn’t mean that he was. 


You were merely right. You hadn’t talked or chatted or looked each other ever since that night.  He wasn’t avoiding you per say, but he wasn’t thrilled spending time with you, either. And that’s why you never pressured things. You had done your part. And he had done his. It hurt because you were pretending you didn’t feel that way anymore, but in all honesty, you were falling even harder every time you saw him, thought about him… him. You had felt the urge to bang your head against a wall or something in order to stop thinking scenarios that would never be true.
Months had gone by. April was almost gone. You felt that you needed a change. That was the main reason that you agreed on a ‘friendly’ date. He was good looking, smart and funny. He was a really nice boy. But that was all he was. A boy. Nonetheless, you had decided to dress up a bit. It was spring and the sun was spreading its warmth all over the place, so after a lot of thinking you found yourself in a beautiful yet casual lilac dress, with your hair in loose curls and a touch of makeup. You looked good, you thought a tad surprised. You were about to turn when you bumped into someone. You would have apologized quicker if it wasn’t for your lack of focus.
“I-I’m sorry, professor” you whispered. You saw him grimacing at your last word but then his expression turned into one of admiration. You knew you had blushed, feeling his eyes roaming your body like a second skin. You locked eyes with him. You could see the desire in them. Act on it, you stubborn git, you thought to yourself. He opened and closed his mouth too many times. You just shook your head and left. Or tried to. His hand was wrapped around your wrist, gently, almost scared by the very action. You halted and faced him. You were done playing games. You have had enough. And he did too, apparently.
“I’ve tried distancing myself, making up excuses, intentionally finding reasons to avoid you but none of it ever worked” he admitted shyly but… finally. Your eyes widened a bit, your breath was caught on the back of your throat. Did he really just say that?
“Never have I felt something more compelling than this bond we share. But I’m your teacher and twice your age and that’s not even the worst part. I can’t escape these feelings but I don’t know what to do, Y/N” he continued. He seemed almost vulnerable. Feeling like you would explode, you slowly brought your hands to his face, cupping his cheek, electrified by the touch. He pierced your eyes with his and boy, you were a goner. Not being able to handle it any longer, you crashed your lips to his. It didn’t set off fireworks, it set off an atomic bomb. His lips were soft and warm yet hungry. He kissed you deeply and pulled you closer, his hands wrapped around your waist, holding you in place. You kissed him back with the equal amount of lust and hunger and emotion. You softly bit his lower lip, tracing your tongue across it. But he pulled away, leaving you… empty.
“We shouldn’t. This is wrong” he murmured trying to convince himself more than anything else. You grabbed his hand and without letting him complain, dragged him-quite literally- to his room. Thankfully it was just around the corner. 

Keep reading

Only Mine

Description:  When you realized your boyfriend was cheating you didn’t expect the waiter you chose for retaliation to become so important to you.  Now that you are engaged it is time for you to finally declare who is the one you belong with.

Pairing: Hoseok x Reader

Genre: Smut

Word Count: 9083

Warning: Dom!Hoseok, spanking, breath play, cheating, punishment

A/N: This has taken forever and I am sorry about that BUT MYSTIC MESSENGER DESTROYED MY LIFE.  Hopefully possessive Hoseok makes up for it.  

Oh, also I need to give a special thanks to @avveh (I feel like I tag you in all of these now) because without her withholding vines, pictures, and gifs from me until I met my word count for the day this would not have been completed anytime soon.

Keep reading

Friday Night I (M)

Jimin x Reader x Jungkook

Prologue

Warnings: Oral (giving and receiving), voyeurism, exhibitionism, rough, daddy kink… (i think that’s it)

Word Count: 3,058

Summary: A simple game of truth or dare has taken a sharp left at some point, and you were perfectly okay with that.


“Jungkook, truth or dare?” he asked. The maknae’s ears perked up, and he wasted no time answering.

“Dare.” he looked at you and winked, as if he knew what was about to happen.

“Hmm.. Okay Jungkookie, I dare you to try to make y/n moan in under 30 seconds.” why are you their guinea pig? Oh yea, because you’re the only girl here. You stared at Taehuyng in disbelief, and you heard Jimin muttering a string of profanities under his breath. “Oh, and you can’t use your hands.”

Jungkook didn’t seem to be phased by this, and beckoned you over with two fingers, his gaze darkening as you decided to go to him. He patted his lap, and you sat in it, looking around and feeling somewhat shy about having an audience, but another part of you enjoyed it. You downed the rest of your drink and set it down before you turned to face Jungkook. He grabbed your hips with strength you didn’t know he had, and leaned in towards your neck.

“Start the time.” he told Taehyung, who had his phone out. As soon as Taehyung pressed ‘start’, you felt Jungkook’s soft lips on your neck, his tongue coming out to lick a strip up from your shoulder to your jaw. You were already worked up from the lapdance and your kiss with taehyung, and you felt heat pool within you once again. That’s when you suddenly felt him grab your hair and pull back, forcing you to expose more of your neck. He bit down hard at the same time, and you couldn’t help the strangled moan that tumbled out of your mouth. He pulled back at the sound, a look of triumph and lust in his eyes as he smirked down at you and licked his lips. “I guess you like it rough then, I’ll remember that.”

Confused, you pushed yourself off of his lap and went back to your spot, now frustrated, embarrassed and way too turned on to care about this game anymore. You poured yourself another drink as you waited for the next question.

“Jimin, truth or dare?”

“Dare.” he said immediately. What was with everyone today? I guess they don’t want to be exposed like Hoseok. Jungkook thought for a moment, and you kind of hoped that this dare included you.

“I dare you to have 7 minutes in heaven with y/n,” he said with a sly grin. You choked on the drink you had in your mouth and looked a Jungkook, not expecting him to have said that, given your earlier confession. Though you were shocked, you couldn’t help but feel slightly happy that it was with Jimin. Jungkook whispered something to Jin, and he nodded in response before standing up and walking towards the hallway. He looked over his shoulder and told you to follow him as he continued to walk. You hesitantly got up after Jimin looked at you, and followed Jin to a room at the end of the short hallway. He opened the door for the two of you and as soon as you stepped inside, you heard the door close and lock. What? Did he just lock us in? And why does it lock from the outside? As you were trying to come up with reasons as to why Jin would need a room that locked from the outside, Jimin cleared his throat and you turned to look at him.

“Come here,” he says as he pats the spot next to him on the bed. You look around the room for the first time, and realize you’ve never been in here. You’ve visited this house many times over the years, but you had never seen the inside of Jin’s room before. The walls were a pale grey, with black furniture and dark floors. There was a king sized bed in the middle of the room, draped in beautiful blood-red sheets. You walked towards the bed and sat down next to Jimin who looked at you, an unreadable expression on his face. He turns to you and smirks, “so, what am I doing to you in your fantasies kitten?”

His question threw you off, and you weren’t sure how to answer him. You had been friends for some time, but no one knew about your feelings until tonight. You had hoped that they would forget about it, but you realized that you’d never live this down. You fought with yourself, wondering if you should give in to him or if you should avoid the situation. Before you could make your decision, you felt him move closer, his breath fanning across the side of your face.

“Tell me kitten, I want to make you feel good” he whispered. You felt a shiver run through you as he moved his hand on top of your thigh, squeezing firmly. You stayed silent, but you didn’t pull away, giving him the go ahead to continue. Jimin moved his lips to your neck, noticing the mark Jungkook had left on you and bit down on the spot. Before you could control yourself you moaned at the feeling, and his tongue followed, soothing the slight sting. His hand moved up your thigh and closer to where you wanted him, his fingers slipping in between your legs as his hand continues to move towards you centre. When he was right where you wanted him, he moved his hand away and to the button of your shorts, “tell me if you want to stop.”

Keep reading

Boyfriend G-Dragon

Originally posted by jiyongs

  • dating him is a long journey
  • since getting him to settle down was hard enough
  • he’s rich and good looking, with the ability to bounce from beautiful person to beautiful person
  • why would he want me?? you reasoned
  • seungri was your friend for years now and had introduced you to the boys at a party, near the beginning of their debut
  • years passed and you became really close to jiyong. it took a while but he started to trust and confide in you, even going to you when he had a creative block or was overwhelmed w scandals
  • you were always there to pick up the pieces
  • this is what led to him being interested in you
  • he’d always found you attractive but in a friend way until he starts to notice that the socialites and models or actors/actresses he “associates” w are never there when he needs them. but you are
  • he realised this as he was trying to set you up w a friend of his and immediately cut that off
  • w/out explaining why
  • a few months passed by w this weird atmosphere
  • he stopped telling you about his heartbreaks and if you were getting too close to someone, he would turn moody and sulk
  • seungri told you eventually, having picked up on your feelings years ago and was too excited that jiyong was finally returning them to keep it inside
  • eventually, you and jiyong go on dates and although it’s never been official, you’re his and he’s yours
  • he’s the silently romantic type
  • like, he won’t always say “I love you” or bring home flowers. he barely even texts you when he’s on tour or away for weeks
  • but when he’s with you, you’re his centre of attention, the only thing he cares about
  • he listens so attentively to the point where he’ll remember everything you say, no matter if it was joking or in passing
  • one time, you were getting ready for a date and couldn’t decide on what to wear
  • “Is it because you feel ugly?” he asks bluntly
  • he’s very blunt btw
  • “What?”
  • weeks ago, you had made a joke at your own expense, calling yourself ugly. it was nothing serious, nothing that plagued you. you really just didn’t know what to wear for the date. but jiyong remembered that incident, approaching the situation in his cold, loving way
  • “Don’t think like that, it’s stupid. And I thought you were smarter than that. You look amazing, no matter what you wear”
  • he’s so unashamed of you tho
  • if you wanted to go to a fancy, 5 star restaurant in pj’s he would damn well join you
  • he’s one of a kind too so never judges you, meaning you don’t need to feel insecure about possibly being trans/being into drag/your sexuality/your quirky habits/etc. he loves you for you, regardless of what anyone else might think of you
  • that’s the silent way he’s romantic
  • not with flowers or chocolates
  • but by strolling into a bougie ass place in matching pj’s with you like “yeah, table for two, please??”
  • the tabloids write about the relationship every other week
  • although it’s not official between you both, never mind the press, they still class you as his “boy/girlfriend”
  • the scandals are something you both like to read over breakfast for fun
  • you snort, taking a sip of oj; “Did you know that you’re having an affair with a Japanese model?”
  • “I am?” he queries. “I thought I was cheating on you with a YG trainee?”
  • “no, no, that was a different magazine”
  • “damn, it’s hard to keep track”
  • your name is always brought up in interviews and he gives the most vague responses that piss the tabloids off
  • “Are you in a relationship, G-Dragon?”
  • “Aren’t we all in relationships? With teachers, our friends, our families? Even hatred or friendship is a relationship”
  • you’re the weird famous couple that no one understands. they wait for the relationship to end but nothing fazes either of you. even if you’re not famous before, you’re sure as hell famous now. everyone knows your name. esp as the years go by and you don’t budge from his side. since the relationship is so unclear, many fans even deny that you’re dating
  • until ten, fifteen years down the road … you and jiyong decide to start a family
  • it takes him a while to settle down completely and he’s still a mysterious idol to the public, keeping his child hidden for the most part. the only pics published of them are taken by him, as he doesn’t want the child to grow up under flashing cameras
  • he’ll support their every decision and is a loving (if a little detached) father, from first step to first medal won or first art piece hung in Uncle Seunghyun’s gallery
  • a title like marriage doesn’t matter to jiyong, but he’d go through the rigmarole if you wanted
  • you’re Mr/Mrs Kwon to him regardless
  • and the beloved person he’s raising a child with
  • “How was I so stupid? For nearly a decade, I didn’t realise my feelings for you. If not for Seungri’s big mouth, we might never have had the life together we’ve had. I guess that idiot’s actually good for something”
Good For You || Jeon Jungkook♡

Genre: S.M.U.T

Pairing: Jungkook x reader

Word Count: 4202

Summary: You decide to treat jungkook to a lil surprise ;)

Song rec: Good For You - Selena Gomez + Prblms - 6lack

Note: I haven’t proof read this cause im sooo tried omg so sorry if there;s a few mistakes :)

Originally posted by jimiyoong

You had spent the whole day in the apartment that you shared with Jungkook. It had been raining since noon and Jungkook was at the studio all day, leaving to entertain yourself.

Jungkook left around 9 am and now it was 7 pm. For the whole day, you lay around in nothing but one of Jungkook’s plain white shirts and panties. You were all alone, so why not be comfortable? You watched T.V, drew a little and belted out your favourite songs at the top of your lungs. Then by the time you looked at your phone and saw the time, you were extremely bored and just wanted Jungkook to come home already. So, you decided to text him and ask him when he was going to come home.

Y/N aka my bitch: when are you coming home? I’m boredddd

You waited about five more minutes before Jungkook replied.

Jungcock: idk babe, maybe another hour?? i’ll text you when i’m on my way

You rolled onto your back and groaned, letting your phone fall out of your hand onto the L shaped couch you lay on. You got up and had no idea what to do to fill time. You sauntered into your bedroom that you shared with Jungkook and observed. The king sized bed that you slept in last night still had unmade, messy white sheets scattered over it and there were a few items of clothes and towels spread around the floor. The white mesh curtains were still closed, letting the city lights shine through dimly.

You decided to go for a shower. You got undressed as the shower heated up and then got in and let the warm water take your mind off of how bored you were. You washed your hair with your favourite coconut shampoo and then your body. Then you thought, to waste some time, to shave. You loved the feeling of smooth legs against sheets.

Once you got out, you towel dried your hair, leaving it only a little bit damp meaning it would dry wavy. Jungkook loved it when your hair was like that since you usually tied it up or straightened it. 

You strolled over to the chest of drawers which held your underwear, and while you looked through the drawer, your eye spotted a bag tucked away at the very back. You were confused for a few seconds, but when you pulled the bag you remembered. A few months ago, you had bought basically a full lingerie set. You didn’t buy it for Jungkook, you bought for yourself. You loved making yourself feel and look good, and it just so happened that Jungkook loved it too. Although you hadn’t even worn this set yet. Or any set in quite a while.

You sat down on the bed and emptied the bag onto the bed, spreading everything out to see what was there. There was a (slightly see through) black, lace triangle bra with matching lace bikini briefs. This was kind of similar to your normal underwear (minus the see through part), but what really made it was the floor length mesh robe. There was a black ribbon that went around the whole thing so that you could tie it at the front. There was also more lace detailing at the very bottom and at the end of the sleeves.

You felt a sly smirk make its way onto you soft lips, and immediately knew exactly how the rest of this night would turn out.

Even though it had been about half an hour since Jungkook had replied to your text, you decided to say something else.

Y/N aka my bitch: okay babe, I’ll wait up for you ;)

You sent the text, knowing fine well that Jungkook knew something was different from the winky face you added which meant he would probably be home much sooner than he intended, then went back to the lingerie that was laid out of the bed for you. You grabbed it then held it up. You could tell that you would be able to see right through it with out even having to put it on, but not completely thanks to the black lace detailing. But that’s what the mesh robe was for, right?

You slid on the briefs, which you noticed had a little bow on the top and then clipped on the bra. Funnily enough, the lace covered nothing apart from your nipples, which made you chuckle since you knew how much that would tease Jungkook. Then, lastly, you slid the robe on. The baggy sleeves reached just above your wrists and the bottom of it slightly dragged on the floor. You walked over to the wall length mirror and looked at your self.

Your hair had dried just the way you wanted it and if you said so yourself, you looked damn hot. Your skin tone went perfectly with the black as it gracefully slid over your body. You tied the ribbon of the robe in front of you but made sure to leave it loose, so that one shoulder of the robe slid off effortlessly.

You still didn’t really know when Jungkook was going to be home, so you went through to the dimly lit living room and sat on the couch. You never bothered to turn on the T.V, since behind it, was a wall made of glass. The view from it was breath taking. It looked right out over Seoul and you could see the orange and white lights from above, making you feel even better about yourself. 

Probably around ten minutes passed of you laying on the couch before you decided to get up and walk over to the wall of glass. You leaned in the corner, making your robe slightly fall off of your shoulder again, but you never bothered to tug it back. 

You watched the veins of your city and the cars that flowed through it. The people looked like little dots, yet you could still feel the buzzing energy from them. From there, you could actually see the tall building that held the studio where Jungkook worked from a few miles away. Your mind went back to Jungkook and it roamed all of the possibilities that await you both.

Then, as you stayed looking out at the view, you heard the front door open down the hallway.

“Y/N?” He shouted. “I’m home!”

You didn’t say a word and simply waited for him to find you in the living room. You heard his keys rattle in his hand and his footsteps as he walked down the hallway connecting the door to the living room.

“Y/N, where are-” Jungkook’s sentence stopped, along with the rattling of his keys and his footsteps. A smirk grew onto your lips as you slowly turned around. Your robe was still slightly off one shoulder so you slowly pulled it up.

Jungkook had frozen. You could tell he definitely did not expect to come home to this. He was wearing a plain white t-shirt like he usually does on studio days and tight black jeans. You let his eyes explore your body from across the room for a few seconds more before you strolled over towards him.

“Look what I found.” You suggestively giggled, motioning to your attire. One light laugh exited Jungkook’s mouth as he raised an eyebrow.

“Why have I never seen this before?” Jungkook asked. His arms snaked around your waist as he pulled you closer so that your chest was pressed against his. You could feel the heat radiating off of him, only making you want him closer to you.

“I got it a while ago then forgot about it.” You shrugged. “I just wanted to look good for you.” You gazed into his eyes, which were already filled with lust. Lust for you. For all of you.

“I think I can say you look more than good for me,” Jungkook smirked as he leaned in, dropping everything in his hands onto the couch next to you.  

His lips hovered over yours so that you could feel his hot breath on your lips and as he teased you, his hands roamed all over your back before settling nicely on your hips.

“God, you’re so beautiful…and you’re all mine.” He whispered.

He finally gave in and his lips molded perfectly into yours. It started off slow and passionate, not letting go of each other’s lips. Both of your eyes were closed but you didn’t need to have them open to see what the other person wanted. As the kiss progressed, it got hotter and thirstier. Jungkook’s hands made their way to underneath your thighs and he squeezed them, indicating for you to jump.

You obliged and wrapped your legs around his waist. He carried you over to the table in between the kitchen and the living room and placed you gently on top of it. Your hands quickly found their way to his hair and fiddled around, messing up his hair and every time you slightly tugged, a throaty moan would vibrate from Jungkook’s mouth to yours.

Jungkook’s soft lips started to stray away from your mouth, leaving it cold and alone. But he made up for it by keeping them attached to your jaw, then your neck and then to your earlobe. You felt him slightly nibble at it, making your giggle and try to escape, but his strong arms held you still and his lips left your ear and got to your collarbones, your sweet spot. Your head tilted back to give him more room to explore your body, which he took full advantage of.

He dragged his lips off of your body and stood up straight so that he towered above you. He looked down at you and hungrily licked his love stained lips. 

“It’s taking me a lot to not just fuck you right now on this table.” He groaned. You leaned back on your elbows on the table and opened your legs ever so slightly. You bowed your head but looked up at Jungkook through your eyelashes.

“Well, why don’t you?” You asked innocently, tilting your head to the side softly. You watched Jungkook moan from just looking at you and the bulge in his pants grow. He threw his head back and rubbed his hands over his face. His head hung back for a few more moments before he came back and looked you dead in the eye.

“Because I’m too much of a gentleman to do so.” He took his bottom lip between his teeth and watched you.

“So what are you going to do with me?” You questioned, keeping your position.

“I’m going to fuck you right now in the bedroom.” He wickedly smirked. 

Before you had time to process what he just said, you were being picked up by his strong arms and back to the position you were in before with your legs wrapped around his waist and your lips attacking each other.

Your hands tangled in his hair and every time your lips parted (which wasn’t often) you felt his short, hot breaths against your plump lips.

As you both entered the room, you let yourself untangle from his body and set yourself down on your feet as you pulled away from him. You stood at the foot of the bed with Jungkook standing in front of you, so you put your hand on his chest and gently pushed him onto the bed, so that he landed on his back, propping himself up on his elbows.

He watched you with hungry eyes and licked his lips, digging his teeth into his bottom lip. You trailed your hands to the ribbon which held your robe loosely around your body and untied it, slipping your arms out of the sleeves and letting it fall to the ground around your feet. You could almost see Jungkook’s pupils dilate as if you were a drug to him.

You swanned over to the bed and crawled onto it, crawling over Jungkook’s body and stopping just as you got to his face. 

Before you could say or do anything, Jungkook’s hands gently held your waist and once again he had complete control over you, but that didn’t make you forget the control you had over him. He flipped your bodies around, so you took this opportunity to lessen the things separating you and reached behind your back to unclip your bra, getting rid of it by throwing it to the side. Leaving Jungkook leaning over you, his eyes completely mesmerized by you underneath him.

You steadily leaned upwards, so that you were propped up on your elbows and your lips were against his right ear. 

“You want me?” You whispered into his ear and attached your lips to his jawline, not too far from his ear. You heard Jungkook gulp and a quiet whine escape his lips. 

“I’m all yours.” And with that, Jungkook’s body straightened up and you fell back onto your back. He grabbed your wrists with one hand and kept them above your head. From there, his lips made contact with your skin once again. He began at your lips and made his way all the way down your body, creating a trail connecting your lips to your collarbones, to the sweet valley between your breasts and making a pit stop at the bottom of your stomach. You could feel yourself getting wetter by the minute and a small feeling started to brew right at the bottom of your stomach.

While Jungkook left sweet kisses along your skin, just above your lace briefs, you felt his teeth graze against your delicate skin. Your head rose and you looked down to see his devilish eyes looking back up at you, directly into your eyes and catching the top of your briefs in between his teeth then slowly dragging them down your legs until they completely came off.

Even though you really wanted Jungkook, you wanted to please him. You wanted him to feel good; this night was about him, and if you were to be pleasured in return, you definitely wouldn’t say no.

As soon as Jungkook rid of every article of clothing hiding you from him, you sat up and took Jungkook’s shoulders, guiding him down so that he lay on his back. You could see by his face that he was slightly confused by your actions.

“Let me be good to you, baby. Please?” You practically whined, making Jungkook’s breath faster and his head nod, as he was lost for words. Before you could act on this, he got rid of his shirt in seconds and soon enough it was on the floor along with everything else that you had worn just minutes ago.

You got on your hands and knees and crawled over his body, just as you had done at the beginning of this spell but only this time instead of stopping at his mouth like last time, you stopped a little earlier.

You sat up on your knees over his legs and looked at up at him. You hadn’t even touched him yet and he was already panting beneath you. His back was lazily against the massive head board and his hands laid on the sheets. You took your hands and drew them from his knees to just above his thighs, where you found the button and zip of his jeans. You hands gracefully undid them and pulled them down, bringing his boxers with them letting his dick free, throwing his jeans and boxers out of the way to the side. You heard Jungkook hiss just at the sight of you above his cock, and a sly smirk showed on your lips.

You leaned forward and kissed his abs, leaving a trail behind you as you got to his dick. You gave the tip a few kitten licks, making it twitch slightly beneath you resulting in a small giggle escaping your mouth.

“Oh my God, you’re such a damn tease.” Jungkook groaned. So then, you started leaving heavier, prolonged kisses up and down his length before fully fitting him in your mouth making a long raspy moan break free from inside Jungkook. Sweat started to form on his forehead and his head tilted all the way back.

“Yes Y/N, just like that.” Jungkook praised with slurred words as if he was drunk on your love. 

More melodious moans broke free from his lips, making yourself moan sending the vibrations from your voice onto Jungkook, only making him love what you did to him even more. As you sped up your pace, Jungkook could feel himself about to let go soon.

“Y-Y/N, I’m gonna…I’m gonna cum.” He panted. Jungkook expected you to release yourself from him, but you wanted to stay with him until his high finished. And only a few seconds later, a stream of profanities and moans left his mouth and he shot into your mouth, letting some fall from your mouth coating your lips with him. You swallowed what you could, and left him with one last kiss.

You sat up again, seeing the result of a messy haired and sweaty Jungkook. You brought your hand up and wiped away the remaining mess left around your mouth and grinned at him, licking your lips.

“So? Was I good to you?” You innocently grinned. Jungkook’s lips turned into a wicked smile and a few chuckled left his mouth, making his shoulders go up and down.

“You were more than good, princess,” Jungkook said, “You made me hungry for more babe.” Jungkook was standing on his knees, so close to you, his chest was up against your breasts. He leaned down to your ear and you felt his hot breath fan the side of your head. 

“And I’m insatiable.” Sex dripped from his lips as those words fell out of his mouth and into your pool of sin.

In seconds, you were once again lying on your back; your hair fanned out around you with Jungkook above you. You kept your head back and looked up at the ceiling, waiting for some part of Jungkook to come in contact with your pure skin. 

You were slightly surprised when his lips caressed your hips, throwing in small strokes of his tongue and grazes of his teeth. He hadn’t even pleasured you yet and you were a squirming mess underneath him. Your breathing had quickened and as Jungkook loved your body with his lips, you could actually feel his smirk grow.

“Jungkook,” You whined. “Stop teasing, you know I hate it.”

Jungkook chuckled and lifted his lips from your body. You raised your head to look back at him and that stupid smirk still hadn’t left his lips.

“Someone’s eager…” He mumbled. All of a sudden, he dipped his head back down, only this time his lips didn’t make love to the delicate skin on your hips but to the soaked folds of your heat. A gasp mixed with a moan broke out from your lips from surprise and his tongue swirled around you.

At first, it was small strokes but as time went on, he went deeper and deeper. You felt a knot begin to tie at the bottom of your stomach and with each stroke and swirl it got tighter and tighter. So when he added a finger, which caressed your clit, you truly felt that from just that added action you would come undone. Until you were just about to warn him that you were about to let yourself go, everything stopped. 

You lay on the bed, your chest rising up and down at a fast pace from your lack of breath as Jungkook had literally just taken it away, in complete shock.Your head rose, and a furious look showed on your face. Jungkook simply sat before you chuckling away at himself.

“I’m sorry, I had to. I know you hate it, but you’re just so hot when you get angry.” Jungkook grinned, his eyes strolling all over your body. 

You didn’t have time to think about what he said, you knew what you wanted and you were planning on getting it, and soon. You got up onto your knees and grabbed Jungkook by his muscley shoulders and before he knew what you were doing, it was his turn to lay on his back again as you directed what was to come.

Surprise showed evidently on his face, and as you came into his view with nothing but lust filling your eyes, your wants and your needs he knew what you wanted. He saw you as a golden lioness, not necessarily hunting her prey, but almost as if she had her eyes on her lion.

Jungkook believed that his eyes fooled him since he thought he could see the alluring and hypnotising aura that you produced surrounding you. You glowed and moved in the most perfect ways. He loved every aspect of you, both physically and within. He was your king and you were his queen.

You crept from the bottom of his body all the way up so that you reached his face. You leaned in so that you could both feel the heat radiating off of each other, but not close enough to touch. You went back down to the lower part of his stomach. You looked up at him through your long and luscious eyelashes with out raising your head and licked your lips to keep them wet. You opened your mouth slightly and settled your bottom lip just above where Jungkook needed you most and slowly dragged your lip up his abs, letting your tongue join in on the way to your destination.

Jungkook’s head rolled back and so did his eyes, he didn’t even have to look at you to feel amazing, but looking at you please him made it that little bit more blissful. 

You tore your mouth from his collarbones and sat up so that you were straddling his lap. You felt his member beneath you but not yet in you and you rocked your hips back and forth, creating friction between you.

“Fuck.” Jungkook hissed as he closed his eyes and bit his lip hard. You couldn’t help yourself when an iniquitous grin lay upon your rose coloured lips. 

“This is what bad boys get when they misbehave.” You purred, twirling your hips around. 

Jungkook’s fairly large hands snaked from his sides so the bare sides of your hips that were upon him. His hands roamed that area of your body and your hands traveled downwards. Without even recognising your actions, you moved back slightly and propped yourself up. Your hand spiraled to take hold of Jungkook’s dick, and you positioned yourself above him.

Jungkook’s eyes fluttered open, separating him from the blind bliss he was in, as he wanted to watch you please yourself with him. You slowly let yourself down on him, taking your breath away. And you didn’t have to worry about protection, you decided birth control would be better and easier for both of you.

“Oh my God.” You gasped as you adjusted to his length inside of you. Jungkook was too caught up in what was before him to say anything comprehensible, so, he helped you move as he kept his hands on your hips.

You started to slide up and down, twirling your hips around and around. Jungkook helped the pace quicken by moving his hips into you. Moans filled the rooms, with spiraling profanities and your names. And as the pace got faster, the moans got louder.

“Holy shit, yes, Y/N.” Jungkook panted, his hands leaving your hips and heading north to play with your breast that had a slight bounce to them as you rode him, only making you feel even better, which you showed by letting your head fall back with a moan.

“J-Jungkook, I don’t think I can-” You were cut off by Jungkook hitting just the right place, making you scream out in pleasure.

“It’s alright, Y/N. Cum around me baby, come on.” Jungkook praised. So as the coil in your stomach got tighter and tighter, eventually, it finally broke and in the middle of you riding out your high, Jungkook came shortly after, filling you up.

Then as praises and shouts and ecstasy filled your ears, you pulled yourself from atop Jungkook and fell to his side. All that was left was the sound of heavy breathes and the city outside.

Jungkook turned to you and smiled. He grabbed the white sheets, which were now significantly messier than before and pulled them over the two of you. You turned to your side, letting your head find a home in the comfort of his chest where his heart beat. His hands migrated towards your head and he stroked it with care and love.

“You know, I like these surprises, we should do them more often.” Jungkook chuckled affectionately. 

“Yeah babe, sure.” You chuckled. You hadn’t even realised how tired out you were until your eyelids became heavy and soon they were closed and Jungkook’s soon followed as you fell into a sweet slumber in each other’s arms.

someone really integral to my spiritual growth once said to me “if you’re going to believe in a God, any God, be sure to believe in a God that is a loving God, a forgiving and merciful God” and it’s something that I remind myself of every single day, especially in moments where I feel really far from religion and really far from any kind of faith. if you find yourself feeling hopeless or lost or too far displaced from God, just remember that the God you believe in is loving and merciful first and foremost. you are never far enough or lost enough to be absolved of forgiveness and acceptance, it is unconditional. 

Jerome Valeska Imagine - You’re Scared Of Him

Originally posted by smooshywrites

Originally posted by teenagecrush

WARNING!!! Mentioning alcohol problems and self harming!!!

Your P.O.V.

The ginger boy in front of me was absolutely terrifying but at the same time, I felt happy. I adored him but I had never been so nervous and scared before. Yet here I was, with the clown prince of crime himself without being tied down and threatened with my life.

Jerome Valeska had been my best friend through out my childhood and to my teens. We were both 18 now, him being a few months older than me. Just a year ago I admitted that I liked him more than just friends and his feelings were mutual. We started to kiss each other and it developed into heated makeout sessions and then sex. We were together and I supported him. His mother was absolutely horrible but I didn’t expect Jerome to murder her.

The past few months had been the wildest and most emotional in my entire life. Jerome went to Arkham Asylum. It broke my heart and I was devastated. Once he joined the maniax, I was getting really scared. I thought I had lost his good side forever. The worst part was when I thought I had lost him forever. He died. My boyfriend, my bestfriend and soulmate had died. 

I was all alone. The sadness and misery were too much for me so I drowned my feelings with a bottle. One bottle became two and it kept going. As I was in the middle of a cloud of misery, he came back. It was mindblowing. But at the same time I was happy. Jerome tried to make the entire city go mad. He lost his face and fought with Bruce Wayne. He was supposed to go back to Arkham, but Indian Hill took him. Jerome, being the badass he was, broke out and now he was here, with me.

He had scars around his face and his lips were curved into a smile. He was wearing a black shirt and jeans. He came with clothes filled with holes, but I had some of his old clothes here. So, he wore them. 

‘‘You still look stunning’‘ He broke the silence that had been bothering us. I was shocked and more or less speechless. ‘‘How are you not dead?’‘ I dared to ask him. All my muscles were tense and I felt how my hands were trembling. I didn’t want to be so scared because I still loved him. Damn, I would do anything for him but I was afraid that he would kill me.

‘‘Death doesn’t seem to like me too much’‘ He laughed and then took a sip of the fresh coffee I had made before he barged through my window. Jerome came to my apartment without any warnings and I nearly stabbed him. I smiled a bit at his comment but I didn’t know how to relax. 

‘‘Did ya miss me too much kitten?’‘ He asked me, standing up and then taking a seat right next to me on my black couch. I gulped and grabbed my cup, hoping that the coffee would help my nerves. I could literally hear my heartbeat. It kept beating, beating, beating, b e a t i n g….

‘‘Y/N’‘ Jerome snapped me out of my thoughts. I flinched and spilled some coffee on my lap. I winced in pain and quickly put the cup away. Jerome wiped the coffee off my thigh with his hand, making my breath hitch in my throat. His touch made goosebumps rise on my soft skin. His eyes looked straight into mine and that’s when I felt like losing myself. I tried to hold back my tears so he wouldn’t get angry, but it felt nearly impossible.

‘‘Why are you crying? Did someone hurt you?’‘ He growled as he saw the tears in the corners of my E/C eyes. I shook my head no but it didn’t convince him. Jerome clenched his jaw and seemed mad. It scared me so I his my face in my hands and tried to calm down. Although Jerome had killed people, even his own mother, it seemed like he still cared.

He pulled me into his strong arms and hugged me tightly. I could feel that he had gotten stronger. First, I held my breath, too scared to breathe as he held me. Then he rubbed my back gently, up and down which made me relax. ‘’Breathe kitten. It’s just me, Jerome. Everything’s alright’’ He tried to assure me. I inhaled a shaky breath and felt warm tears soaking his shirt. It was still him, the same person I had known since forever. But it felt different.

‘‘I missed you s-so much’‘ I sobbed and then clenched onto him. Finally, I allowed my other emotions to conquer my fear. ‘‘Yeah, it sucked that I couldn’t visit you in so long’‘ He admitted while rubbing my back. I bit my bottom lip and tasted the irony taste of blood. ‘‘But things will change. We can be together now’‘ He added a bit more happily. I met his pretty eyes and saw that he didn’t look bloodthirsty at all. He seemed genuinely glad to see me.

‘‘So..you won’t..’‘ I tried to speak but the words got stuck in my throat. ‘‘I won’t what? You gotta finish what you started doll face’‘ He tried to make me speak. I nodded and looked away. He hummed something and grabbed my jaw, making me face him again. ‘‘Tell me’‘ He whispered and looked serious. I just hoped he wouldn’t get mad at me. ‘‘You won’t k-kill me, right?’‘ I asked him with a voice, barely louder than a whisper. Something twisted in his eyes and he let go of my jaw.

‘‘Why would you even think that?’‘ He growled a bit angrily, startling me. Luckily, his temperament didn’t rise too much. ‘‘I would never lay a finger on you in a bad way. You’re the only one I care about Y/N. You’re my only friend and also my girlfriend. I love you’‘ He let me know ever so seriously. These words coming from his mouth were surprising. Jerome had always been a bit shy with me. I guess he had gained confidence to tell me that. 

‘‘Are you scared to love me?’‘ He asked me after a while. It’s like he read me like an open book. ‘‘A bit’‘ I answered honestly. Jerome seemed a bit sad about that. It was so strange. I had been watching the news tapes of him over and over again. He had been smiling widely as he shot people. It’s like all his sympathy and love was gone, vanished into thin air. But now it looked like some had stayed. Knowing that he cared about me, and me only, warmed my heart.

‘‘You don’t need to be afraid. You know me Y/N. We have done so many things together and you haven’t been scared then. Yes, I’ve changed but I’ll always be Jerome for you’‘ He promised me sweetly. For a moment, I felt like I could forget his crimes. All the scary laughs and even the fact he killed his mom. Suddenly, Jerome leaned closer to me so the tips of our noses brushed against each other. His hand held onto my waist and his other hand was on my cheek. 

now my heart fluttered for a different reason. ‘’I missed you baby. Please don’t fear me’’ He breathed out. Only a second later he pressed his soft red lips against mine. I shut my eyes and felt overwhelmed. His kiss was so warm and intense. He got so close and the beautiful moment washed my brain, making me focus on only this. Nothing else mattered.

‘‘I’ll make you feel safe again, okay?’‘ He purred and pushed me on my back. Then he nibbled my ear, making me moan a bit. ‘‘Yes Jerome’‘ I replied as calmly as I could. ‘‘You’re my girl, I’ll never let anyone harm you. If anyone even thinks about it, I’ll kill them’‘ He promised me. A minute ago that would have scared me, but now it felt like the most romantic thing ever. 

‘‘Just please stay and don’t die again. I can’t live without you’‘ I told him as he kissed my neck. A shiver ran down my spine because his kisses felt so amazing. He knew all my sweet spots so well. ‘‘Don’t worry about that. One day we will be the kind and queen of this damn city’‘ He purred and then started to drag off my shirt. As he spoke, his voice got even deeper and raspier.

Now that my shirt was on the floor, I put my arms on my stomach. I was still a bit nervous although I had been in this situation with him before. ‘’Don’t hide yourself’’ He told me and grabbed my wrists, pinning them above my head. Suddenly I remembered something not so good.

Jerome noticed it too. He froze on the spot and just stared at my skin. I tried to yank my arm free, but he was stronger than me. ‘’What have you done?’’ He asked me with a bit scary voice. That’s when he moved his eyes away from my scars and looked deep into my eyes. His had turned darker and my fear came back into my body. 

‘‘I..I don’t know’‘ I mumbled and pulled my arm away. Jerome let go and then sat again. I felt really anxious now. So I stood up and walked to my bedroom. Tears stung my eyes and I was sure he’d leave now. Instead of leaving, Jerome followed me, right into the devil’s cave. My room was full of empty bottles of whisky, rum and other strong drinks. I dragged my hair and bit my lips together, hoping that I could cry silently.

‘‘Y/N you’re not okay..’‘ Jerome noticed and then walked up to me. ‘‘How do you know what’s okay and not okay?’‘ I spat rudely without thinking. I regretted it immediately. ‘‘S-sorry..I’m sorry’‘ I breathed out and stepped a few steps back. Jerome wasn’t angry. He seemed..disappointed.  ‘‘I’m so sorry’‘ I sobbed and hit the wall. ‘’Is it because of me?’’ He wanted to know while looking around. My room was a mess. There was a stain of wine on the carpet and a pile of bottles on my nightstand.

‘‘I really..missed you..Jerome’‘ I managed to croak without stuttering. ‘‘I thought ..I lost you for good’‘ I continued and then sobbed. He came back to me and grabbed my hands. ‘‘So I took it out on m-myself. I started drinking and..cutting’‘ I admitted shamefully. I couldn’t even look at him. ‘‘Listen baby’‘ He whispered and took a deep breath. 

‘‘I need you to stop doing that’‘ He started and I sighed. ‘‘It’s not easy’‘ I let him know. Suddenly he cupped my face and looked deep into my eyes. ‘‘I won’t let you do that, okay? I won’t leave anymore. Don’t.be.scared. Just fuck- please trust me, okay?’‘ Jerome got a bit frustrated. It’s like my actions hurt him. It’s a bit ironic because murdering a whole bunch of people didn’t make him sad, but me being sad was too much.

‘‘I’ll try’‘ I promised and blinked away my tears. ‘‘Geez, I thought that you’d hate me for what I did’‘ He admitted, obviously surprised that I still had feelings towards him. I just hugged him and hid my face in the crook of his neck. ‘‘How could I not love you?’‘ I whispered, not sure if he heard me. Now, I just wanted to sink into the moment. Hopefully, this wasn’t another dream of him coming back to me.