remember the planets

Day One: Homesickness

Thought I’d start off @vldangstweek with something that turns from angsty to fluffy, just because, based on the rest of this weeks prompts, it’s gonna get waaayyyy angstier (knowing me, anyway). Everything will be tagged with vldangstweek and any of my usual angst tags (angst, langst, klangst, etc)

Let my children go home, they’re stressed and tired (under a cut for length).


“Come on Lance, one more time! You need to defeat this gladiator before I can allow anyone to go to dinner!” Allura shouted down from the observation deck.

The quiet groans of his teammates filled his head and Lance winced, stepping back to stand his ground against the bot attacking him. His vision wavered over his helmet and his fingers trembled against his bayard, unable to form it because of the close range combat style. He grunted, rolling as the bot dove for him, sweeping it’s legs out from under it and sending it to the ground. Briefly, he heard Hunk’s cheer of encouragement in his comms, and then the bot was back up again, charging at him.

Lance sighed, side stepping the bot and pressing his shaking hands to his head, trying to stop the swimming feeling in his brain, the burn at the back of his throat and eyes, the tightness in his chest. He took a hit, hard, and fell backwards onto his ass, teeth clacking together.

“Dude, seriously, we’re starving!” Pidge called out. “You need to beat this!”

Lance took a shaky breath, shooting a glare at the deck. “You want me to beat it? Fine. I’ll beat it.”

Before the bot could get any closer, Lance whipped out his bayard, transforming it in the process and ignoring Allura’s shouts of this being a hand to hand fight. Within seconds, the bot was in a smoking heap on the floor and Lance was shaking, sweat curling down his forehead. Allura stormed out of the observation deck and onto the main floor, eyebrows furrowed. “That was not the assignment, Lance. You’ll have to do it again.”

“No.”

“Excuse me?”

Lance ripped off his helmet and chucked it to the ground. When he looked up, Allura took a step back at the ferocity in his face, the tears in his eyes. “I said, no. I’m not doing this bull shit anymore. They’re not either,” he snapped, pointing towards the deck. “You don’t get to treat us this way, we’re the only reason you’re not dead or still in those stupid pods. You called us family, Allura.”

His voice broke and his lip quivered as he stumbled back, shaking his head. “You don’t get to treat family like this. Not when we’re doing all of this for you.”

He swallowed and spun on his heel, storming from the room. Allura hesitated, glancing back at the deck only to find the rest of the paladins and Coran standing behind her. She studied the group, noted the lines on their faces and the bags under their eyes, and frowned. “Do you all agree with him?”

They remained silent for a moment, glancing at each other. Hunk spoke up first, his voice gentle. “Yeah. I do, at least.”

“Me too,” Pidge piped up, staring at the floor and fiddling with her bayard.

Keith nodded silently, rubbing a hand up and down one arm and looking off to the side. Hunk huffed. “Allura, we…I would say we’re homesick, but I don’t know if that covers all of us.”

“We’re Earth sick,” Keith offered. “And Lance…”

Shiro spoke for the first time. “Lance has the most family to miss out of the five of us.”

“And honestly?” Hunk muttered. “You yelling all the time, you pushing him, and us, all the time? No breaks, no relaxation time at all? I’m amazed he didn’t snap before this.”

Allura swallowed. “I’m…”

“It’s okay,” Hunk promised. “We understand, you want to stop the Galra, stop Zarkon.”

“But you have to remember that we’re all volunteering to do this,” Pidge said, fidgeting from foot to foot. “There’s nothing keeping anyone here other than empathy. Don’t give Lance a reason to stop caring, or he will leave.”

Allura bit her lip and glanced over her shoulder. “I should go-”

“No,” Keith said firmly, stepping forwards and resting a hand on Allura’s arm. “We got this. You two go get dinner.”

She and Coran studied the paladins for a moment before nodding in agreement and leaving the training deck.

Keep reading

2

The Long Way to a Small Angry Planet (Wayfarers #1)

i can wait for the galaxy outside to get a little kinder

COWBOY BEBOP SENTENCE STARTERS.

  • ❝ …Bang… ❞
  • ❝ This could be a trap. ❞
  • ❝ This is strictly business. ❞
  • ❝ Whatever happens, happens. ❞
  • ❝ Life is but a dream. ❞
  • ❝ You’re in a good mood today. ❞
  • ❝ Tell me what you’re doing here. ❞
  • ❝ Don’t try anything. ❞
  • ❝ Why don’t you shoot? ❞
  • ❝ Go on, pull the trigger. ❞
  • ❝ What’s wrong? Lose your nerve? ❞
  • ❝ You’re an original, aren’t you? ❞
  • ❝ Could you be a little quieter please? ❞
  • ❝ Great, a wannabe preacher with a gun… ❞
  • ❝ Guess you’ll have to chalk it up to bad luck. ❞
  • ❝ You’re gonna carry that weight. ❞
  • ❝ The one that’s insane is this world. ❞
  • ❝ Hey there, having a little trouble? ❞
  • ❝ Are you living in the real world? ❞ 
  • ❝ Even if you play by the rules, nothing gets solved. ❞
  • ❝ The more you know, the shorter your life will be. ❞
  • ❝ I’m just a humble bounty hunter, ma’am/sir. ❞
  • ❝ Pretending to be senile won’t get you out of this. ❞
  • ❝ I’m just watching a bad dream I never wake up from. ❞
  • ❝ Are you pleading for your life? ❞
  • ❝ You should see yourself right now. ❞
  • ❝ Do you have any idea what you look like? A ravenous beast. ❞
  • ❝ The same blood runs through both of us. ❞
  • ❝ I’ve bleed all that kind of blood away. ❞
  • ❝ Why are you still alive? ❞
  • ❝ Don’t give me that art of war crap. ❞
  • ❝ Time never stands still. ❞  
  • ❝ If you don’t work, you don’t eat. ❞
  • ❝ These Earthlings are weird. ❞ 
  • ❝ I’ll take care of this, you can go back. ❞
  • ❝ I love the kind of woman that can kick my ass. ❞
  • ❝ A star just fell from the sky. ❞
  • ❝ Cold climates don’t concern me. ❞
  • ❝ Your heart is colder than any planet. ❞
  • ❝ Remember, a snake cannot eat a dragon. ❞
  • ❝ We should’ve never taken such a risk. ❞
  • ❝ I’m fully aware of the danger. ❞
  • ❝ How long were you in there listening, [ name ]? ❞ 
  • ❝ And this time, I hope you have sweet dreams. ❞
  • ❝ I’ll meet you at the end of this world. ❞
  • ❝ Belonging is the very best thing there is. ❞
  • ❝ There is nothing more innocent and cruel than a child.❞
  • ❝ Man shouldn’t have to live on carbohydrates alone, complex or otherwise. ❞
  • ❝ I have no fear of death. It just means dreaming in silence. A dream that lasts for an eternity. ❞
  • ❝ Of the days that I have lived, only those I spent with you seemed real. ❞
  • ❝ My memory…finally came back…but nothing good came from it. ❞
  • ❝ There was no place for me to return to; this was the only place I could go. ❞
  • ❝ Why do you have to go? Where are you going?! ❞
  • ❝ What are you going to do, throw away your life like it was nothing?! ❞
  • ❝ What’s your price to keep this from leaking to the press? ❞
  • ❝ Either you give me the money or I put a bullet through your brain. ❞    
  • ❝ I’m not the type to be led around by a woman/man. ❞
  • ❝ You can’t tell the age of a woman by looking at her. ❞
  • ❝ You’re kidding yourself if you think every woman/man is like you. They’re not.❞
  • ❝ Why did you do all of this? For money? Some sort of revenge? Or perhaps just for fun?❞
  • ❝ Come on, hang in there, you hear me? ❞ 
  • ❝ When angels are forced out of heaven, they become devils. ❞
  • ❝ Tell me, if we had met earlier in life, would we have been friends? ❞
  • ❝ You know the first rule of combat? Shoot them before they shoot you. ❞
  • ❝ I’m not a criminal. Woah, that makes me sound more like a criminal, doesn’t it. ❞
  • ❝ You took all the money you stole from us and lost it in a gambling casino? ❞
  • ❝ This is real mystic and all, but uh, do you have anything to eat here? ❞
  • ❝ You know what they say, cowboy, easy come easy go. ❞ 
  • ❝ You told me once, to forget the past, cause it doesn’t matter, but you’re the one still tied to the past, [ name ]!  ❞
  • ❝ Don’t tell me things like that; you’ve never told me anything about yourself, so don’t tell me now! ❞
  • ❝ I felt like I was watching a dream I’d never wake up from. Before I knew it, the dream was all over. ❞
  • ❝ Do not fear death. Death is always at our side. When we show fear, it jumps at us faster than light, but if we do not show fear, it casts its eye upon us gently and then guides us into infinity…  ❞
  • ❝ Men only think about their past right before death, as if they were searching frantically for proof they were alive. ❞
  • ❝ No one can draw a clear line between sane and insane. You move that line as you see fit for yourself. No one else can.  ❞

You know when people quit a fandom and you’re like “kbye” but they linger? Like do they want a ribbon? I’m not sure…

So you’re having a fabulous time, going about your daily business and then you get a text from your friend all like “ready for the test tomorrow?” and you’re like CRAP and 100% go into panic mode.

What do you do now?

Nothing will replace deliberate planned study, but don’t stress - there are a few things you can do to save your grade.

1. Make a cheat sheet

Even if you aren’t allowed to bring it into the test, a cheat sheet allows you to study AND helps you figure out which areas are the most important for the test - i.e. what you should spend the most time studying.

Basically go through your notes/textbook and write down the main topics, and fill in anything that you think is important, or anything that is highlighted/bolded/etc. Try to fit this all onto one page - it really forces you to consider what is important and what the minor details are. 

2. Prepare flashcards

If you have a wordy subject, or a test where you have to memorize definitions, this can work really well. Write your terms on one side of each card, and a short description on the back. The key thing here is to use them to test yourself. Don’t look at the answer before you’ve thought about it for a sufficient time. Put the most difficult ones in a separate pile and review those the most.

3. Make mnemonics

This technique is commonly used to remember words/phrases etc.

e.g. to remember the order of the planets, My Very Expensive Muffin Just Smells Unbearably Nasty might be easier to remember than MVEMJSUN or Mercury Venus Earth Mars Jupiter Saturn Uranus Neptune.

Have some fun with this & be creative.

4. Quiz yourself

This is a really effective way to learn in a short period of time. If you don’t have access to past tests, you can easily make your own. Look through your textbook or notes and find things that you think could be asked on the test. Then turn these into questions and make your own quiz papers.

Do one test, grade it and identify where you can improve. Then study these areas and take another test. Rinse and repeat!

If you are having particular difficulties with one area, include variations of the same questions in your next tests so you can continue practicing.

5. Get some sleep

Studying is great and all but if you have stayed up all night and are half asleep during the test you aren’t going to be very effective. Even a couple hours is better than nothing.

6. Review before the test

Whoever said it is bad to study right before a test is a total liar. If you have half an hour to spare beforehand, test yourself with some flashcards, or review your cheat sheet. Don’t go over anything new, just focus on remembering the things you covered mastered the night before. 

If there was a particular definition you really struggled with, read that right before you start the test and write it down as soon as you are allowed to pick up your pen.

Transiting Pluto turns retrograde

April 20 - September 28, 2017

Pluto’s retrograde zones overlap. There’s no cut-and-dried “timing,” nothing that can be defined, no “time off.” As the planet is said to indicate our soul’s progress and transmutations over several lifetimes, this is the way it should be. Astrologer Martin Bulgerin explains:

“Pluto cycles are lessons in letting go. Most of us identify strongly with things, people, and ideas that really have nothing to do with who we really are. Pluto comes along and strips away these false identifications, helping us discover our authentic selves. Sometimes there’s a tendency to get a little power crazed during these cycles, but it’s always best to operate in the most selfless manner possible. Trying to manipulate people or situations for personal gain now will invariably produce some kind of backlash in the end. Prepare yourself to be remade to your depths.”

In the house occupied by Pluto, well - there’s always a lot going on underground, behind the scenes or behind the throne, anyway, right? Those matters will just become even more secretive and cryptic. And/Or you’re going to be much more paranoid about it than usual. The impulse to deny/bury/etc our “baser” motives will strengthen, and it will be a very brave soul who can face up to what Pluto is up to.

That house is also where we have a genuine chance, in Steven Forrest’s words (The Inner Sky), to “find enduring significance in our lives” and to “find wisdom for which there is a great need in the world.” In The Changing Sky, Forrest wrote that transiting Pluto’s “gift” to us is “the ability to heal one’s soul, recovering the energy needed to find an altruistic mission in life, thereby filling one’s consciousness with a sense of ultimate purpose.”

Pretty heady stuff. When explaining Pluto energies Forrest typically compares/contrasts Hitler with Gandhi. Both men felt that pressure to “do something with their lives” but responded very, very differently - and with varying degrees of success as well. Which is exactly the way it should be, when one’s very soul is at stake.

The house Pluto is currently transiting is feeling all that pressure, stimulated and motivated by your natal Pluto’s position. It’s going to be in that house for a long time; remember that the planet is concerned with your immortal soul’s development over many lives. Try to keep in mind a simple general delineation for that house (e.g., 3rd House, information gathering/sharing) while remembering all the myriad ways the energy can work itself out (3rd House, school, neighbors, siblings, the daily commute, newspapers, blogs, etc etc etc).

Finally, the house with Scorpio on the cusp will be feeling the “heat.” With Scorpio on the 11th, either you’ve developed “a specific direction in life” and cultivated some powerful allies; or you’ve acquired some shifty associates to destroy your life with.

Honestly @ people saying Mon-El guilt-tripped Kara into liking him when he confessed to her: are y’all serious?? The only reason he even told Kara his feelings was because she’s asked twice. And beforehand, he’s been reluctant to tell her because he knew that she didn’t feel the same way. But did you see him thrashing and screaming for her to like him back? He literally told her he wasn’t confessing to change her mind and just manned up and left. As for him moving on to Eve so quickly, can you blame the guy? What Kara said to him after was most probably the most hurtful words you can ever say to someone who’s trying to change for the better, because the one person who he thought believed in him, turns out didn’t. He didn’t guilt-trip her into anything, he simply respected her decision, backed off, and is trying to move on.

None of y’all were complaining when Alex literally ignored Maggie when she rejected her, saying that she didn’t want to be her friend and all she felt was pain because Maggie didn’t want her. Look, I love Sanvers, but that was a much clear-cut example of guilt-tripping. I’m not even going to mention the time Kara rejected Winn and he acted like a brat and literally avoided her like the plague, making Kara feel guilty. Now, that, was guilt-tripping. Get it right, people.

And I can’t believe y’all are still holding Mon-El’s first scene with Kara over his head and calling it abusive and toxic. He was literally in a 35-year coma, seeing someone he had no clue of or where he was, and last remembering that his planet and his people were dying, and you expect him to not defend himself? That was the only time he laid his hand on Kara like that, and he never did again. In fact, he’s been nothing but kind, gentle, funny, and adoring of Kara after all that.

As to why his relationship with Kara is toxic, I will never understand why, when James from Season 1 has literally led Kara on multiple times while he was in a relationship with Lucy Lane (most times which were going borderline-cheating, even), ignored her when he needed her the most after the Red Kryptonite brainwashed her, forced her to tell Lucy about her being Supergirl when it’s not his secret to tell (who cares if his relationship with Luce was on the line?), shot her down when she confessed her feelings, but then acting like a jealous brat when Barry came to their Earth (during the only time Kara has felt she connected with someone who understood her being Supergirl) when James had zero right to be jealous because he rejected her.

I have nothing against POC and LGBT, as this has nothing to do with that fact but with the way these characters and relationships were written. But seriously, the hypocrisy and the double-standard is just overwhelming.

P.S. I’m not choosing to ignore anybody’s flaws (ahem Mon-El’s ahem), I’m saying that everybody has them. So sit your self-entilted asses down and face the truth: the things you’re hating Mon-El for are so easily in your favored characters too.

Why We Must Remember Brother from another Planet Now More Than Ever

The cult classic Afro-futurism film Brother from another Planet (1984) directed by John Sayles captures the trials and tribulations of a black alien escaping from his home planet to the foreign streets of New York City. During the film, the “Brother” encounters many obstacles which portray his isolation as a literal “alien” proving to be reminiscent of the immigrant experience in America, especially today, amongst Trump’s reign.

The Brother arrives at Ellis Island, which has historically been a gateway for millions of immigrants coming to the “Land of the Free”. Upon arrival, New York seems almost apocalyptic, as the Brother is welcomed by desolation rather than the usual collage of people, immediately capturing the isolation of his status as an “alien”. It is not until he walks the streets of Harlem, where he sees any signs of life, as he is surrounded by similar looking black faces engaging in their everyday lives. However, the Brother has limited contribution to such a scene due to his inability to communicate because of his muteness, which resonates with the ‘voicelessness’ of immigrants in America. But despite this voicelessness, the Brother still remains an active part of his environment as he still manages to navigate through his situations day by day.

Throughout the film, the Brother is being hunted down in what seems to be an intergalactic slave chase, as two white men claiming to be from the government are determined to capture him. I can’t help to be reminded of the government today trying to hunt down immigrants entering the country in hopes for a better life, as perhaps the Brother was seeking too. Therefore, the Brother from another Planet must be remembered for its portrayal of the intertwining of race, class, and immigrant status, all which have remained prevalent in America’s history, even in the year 2017. As the entertainment website The A.V. Club reviewed in 2003, the Brother from another Planet, ”uses [the Brother’s] alien status as a way of asking who deserves to be called an outsider in a country born of outsiders”, an answer which seems all too real for a black man from outer space. 

The Signs In Every Relationship.

When Pisces and Pisces get together they are bound to drive each other into a rehab and/or an insane asylum. Both will eventually experience liver failure as a result of alcohol addiction.

Aquarius and Pisces together is unsuccessful. Aquarius gets outraged when Pisces mistakes an experimental liquid for scotch. Pisces becomes an amoeba. Aquarius hides the evidence.

Aquarius and Aquarius will both become nostalgic together remembering their young days on planet Floorp, where their brilliant ideas were shared and individuality was appreciated. True Love.

Capricorn has no patience for Pisces who repeatedly tries to spend the couple’s fortune on their own drug problem. Capricorn eventually tries to profit off Pisces’s drug supply. It doesn’t work.

Capricorn and Aquarius is a give and take relationship. Cap will use the experiments Aqua is conducting to make a fortune. Aquarius is paid off in stylish jackets!

Capricorn and Capricorn is not a trusting partnership. They both hide money and Twinkies from each other. They only talk about the weather and golf.

Not surprisingly, Sagittarius loves drinking just as much as Pisces! But Sag has no time for Pisces sob stories. The two typically meet at a bar, prison, or brothel.

Sagittarius and Aquarius are the PERFECT couple. Sag has no attention span and Aquarius doesn’t care. Both will eventually forget they are dating.

Sagittarius and Capricorn never ends pretty. Sagittarius manages to break all of Cap’s fine china while roller skating in the foyer. Needless to say, Sag is executed immediately.

Sagittarius and Sagittarius makes the clumsiest and most reckless zodiac pair ever to be known to man. Together they will burn down their cardboard house doing lighter-fart tricks.

Scorpio loves to easily manipulate and easily control someone. Scorpio also loves cool ranch Doritos but they’ll never tell you. Pisces is no fool though. Pisces knows all and Pisces sees all; Pisces just doesn’t care.

Scorpio will never understand Aquarius and Aquarius will never understand humans. After two failed attempts to bug the lab Scorpio gives up all together.

Scorpio and Capricorn are like two mob men that accidentally fell in love. They are both controlling evil freaks. Not nice neighbors.

Scorpio has a hard time keeping track of Sagittarius. That is ONLY because every time it rains Sag has to find a new box to live in. Talk about impossible.

Scorpio and Scorpio are the real life Mr. and Mrs. Smith. Both are the devil and both have fun slitting each others throats.

Libra supports Pisces’s drinking habits and doesn’t care if their breath smells like Georgie. Neither own a toothbrush or socks.

Libra and Aquarius are equally weird and equally dirty. Libra lets Aquarius stick test tubes and thermometers up their butt. Quite the happy couple.

Libra is typically a serf in Capricorn’s kingdom. Capricorn likes Libra because Libra doesn’t know what money is. Everyone goes home happy!

Libra loves Sagittarius’s spacious apartment which actually happens to be an old dumpster. Sag doesn’t mind Libras guitar playing while on drugs.

Libra is too peaceful for angry Scorpio who finds nothing to control. Scorpio forces Libra to take a bath. Libra farts and says “Namaste”.

Libra and Libra typically meet at an orgy or through a mutual lover. They enjoy reading Dr. Seuss and braiding each others back hair at tea.

Opposites attract: Virgo will constantly be cleaning up Pisces’s vomit, tears, and empty bottles. Pisces gets kicked out on day six.

Virgo meets Aquarius’s alien relatives and makes a negative remark about their green skin. They never come over, nor are invited, for lasagna again.

Virgo and Capricorn are immensely compatible! There’s love but manipulative Virgo’s time is mostly spent taking money from Capricorn’s off shore accounts to spend on a fondue machine. Luckily for Virgo, this goes unnoticed.

Virgo and Sagittarius is the least compatible pair in all of astrological history. Sag eats, drinks, and dirties everything they touch. Virgo cries.

Virgo will polish all of Scorpio’s weapons that they have hidden in their secret armory. Works for a while… then Scorpio “accidentally” kills Virgo.

Virgo cannot possibly live with the laid back and gentle Libra. Virg will literally die of a heart attack when they see all the dirty q tips and expired milk.

Together, Virgo and Virgo create the most annoying couple you will ever meet. Most annoying sign of the zodiac x2. No one comes to their Tupperware parties.

Leo and Pisces… turn back now! Pisces is a miserable alcoholic who pays more attention to their liquor funds than Leos latest up-do.

Opposites attract: Leo needs to be the center of attention. Aquarius pays no attention to anyone. Leo does the Macarena in Aquarius’s lab. Leo: 1 Aquarius: 0.

Leo wants Capricorn to spend a fortune on them but all of Capricorn’s money is tucked away on a small island off the coast of Bermuda. No deal hoe.

Leo and Sagittarius is “zodiacs biggest diva meets zodiacs biggest douche bag”. It works! Leo will simply have to get used to the rats and Sag’s beer breath.

Leo and Scorpio makes a horrible zodiac match. Scorpio tries to make Leo wear a Burka and convert to Islam. Leo is too busy bedazzling a beret.

Leo tries to boss Libra around but Libra does not listen. This isn’t because they’re rebellious; it’s because they have years worth of earwax.

Leo dislikes Virgo because they can’t be the boss. Virgo hates pulling out hairs from the hairbrush. Leo hates Mistolin. Failed romance.

Leo and Leo will live extravagantly in a customized house full of mirrors. But they will always fight over the hair brush and who gets the last Rice Krispie treat.

Cancer thinks they can fix Pisces with some TLC (tender, love, and care). Pisces repays cancer with a box full of donuts and cardiac arrest.

Cancer accidentally washes Aquarius’s beakers and puts them with the glassware. Aquarius eats Cancer.

Opposites attract: Cancer is usually Capricorn’s maid or butler in their giant mansion. This is usually an affair. Ends with a $20 check.

Cancer needs a loving home which Sagittarius cannot provide because their home is the inside of a porta-potty. Cancer walks away gratefully.

Cancer and Scorpio are a perfect match because Scorpio needs total control and Cancer allows. Cancer gives Scorpio their debit pin on the second date.

Cancer is constantly cleaning up after Libra. But Libra pays Cancer back in horrible singing and Buddhist advice so it all works out!

Cancer and Virgo take turns in the kitchen. They also take turns at being bitches. Most successful gay males have Cancer-Virgo parents.

Cancer has to spread rose Petals on the ground before Leo as they walk. Cancer is treated like Dobby from Harry Potter.

Cancer and Cancer will hold each other wearing nothing but aprons and watch Titanic on repeat until their tear ducts have run dry. OTP.

Wickedly compatible: Gemini is Pisces drug dealer. They pour Henny (famous liquor) on each others privates and usually bring animals into the bedroom. Ends in hepatitis.

Gemini and Aquarius count cards in casinos, become rich, then buy a mansion in Punta Cana. Gemini turns up missing several days later. Diggin’ that commitment, Gem.

Gemini and Capricorn meet while Gemini is robbing Capricorns safe. Gemini is not afraid to have sex for jewels.

Opposites attract: Gemini and Sagittarius are married for years and they don’t remember each others names nor birthdays. They live in a trash can. Harmonious.

Gemini and Scorpio attempt to play a game of “how-to-ruin-lives”. Scorpio is possessive and Gemini cannot be possessed. Literal shackles and chains.

Gemini and Libra is “Brooklyn hippie meets heights garbage”. Gemini’s boys will start to wonder when Gem started wearing fedoras.

Gemini and Virgo together is literally like when a Dominican guy is dating his mother. She tries to clean his Jordan’s with Lisol, so he pees in the hamper. Destruction.

Gemini only dates Leo because they want to get in on all the twitter followers Leo has. The relationship is a fraud. Haven’t even held hands.

Gemini comes home to Cancer once every three weeks to tell more lies and to shower. Cancer makes mangu and cries on it for good luck for Gems drug sales.

Gemini and Gemini is your classic L.A. hood couple that gets into fist fights at parties, leaves their baby with a stranger, then goes to shop at Forever 21.

Taurus and Pisces are the kings of gluttony. Endless chicken and ribs topped off with Everclear. They vomit on each other to express their love.

Taurus will never discover the “secret” lab Aquarius has in the garage because they don’t leave the couch. Harmony… until Taurus wakes up with three eyes and the ability to live without eating.

Taurus and Capricorn aka two of the most selfish and boring zodiac signs. Taurus becomes restless because Capricorn only invests in stocks not Gucci bags.

Doomed from the start: Taurus and Sagittarius will never work out. Taurus never leaves home and Sagittarius is homeless. They only meet by chance at late night drive-throughs.

Opposites attract: Taurus is greedy and Scorpio is evil. This relationship consists of systematic homicides and jewel thievery.

Taurus and Libra are both ruled by Venus. This means they are both beautiful but lazy fuckin’ assholes. To sum it up: Libra doesn’t bathe and Taurus doesn’t notice.

Taurus and Virgo are two very similar individuals! Virgo will watch how Taurus spends money and how Taurus eats, like a hawk. Taurus will criticize cooking. End result: Bloodshed.

Taurus and Leo could work out if they stopped spending all the money on fancy shit they can’t afford and stopped fighting over swag and cream puffs.

Taurus and Cancer is a match made in heaven. Cancer cooks and Taurus eats. Both never leave the house. Boring hermit losers.

Taurus and Gemini live comfortably at first because Gemini will steal Louboutins and Prada bags for their lover. So: Luxury then prison.

Taurus and Taurus will meet in a McDonalds and fall madly in love. Their family photos will look oddly similar to a pack of warthogs.

Aries and Pisces will be swimming in a sea of E&J and tears. Alcoholics anonymous was made for people like them.

Aries breaks Aquarius’s lab equipment in rage so Aquarius has alien associates abduct and mince the ram. A clean break.

Aries and Capricorn is disastrous. Capricorn hides all the money because they know Aries will spend it on white vans and aged liquor.

Aries and Sagittarius makes the best of buds who usually enjoy sniffing cocaine off each others collar bones and robbing McDonalds. Will most likely end in jail.

Aries will upset Scorpio one time and then will never be seen again.

Opposites attract: Aries the belligerent “leader” with Libra the free spirit. It’s like Romeo and Juliet because everyone dies in the end.

Aries does not have the upper-hand with Virgo because Virg hides all the alcohol to be spiteful and they are swift with a chancla. Advice: Run, now. 

Aries and Leo will have the police called on them every night for blasting Madonna too loud and having beer bottles all over the property.

Aries and Cancer is “Typical city garbage meets suburb princess”. Suicide is in the cards, folks.

Aries is outraged because Gemini drinks all of their wine and refuses to play DMX at family parties. Neither pay rent. Inevitable eviction.

Aries will fight Taurus for eating all the food in the house. Together they resemble one spaghetti and one meatball walking down the street.

Aries and Aries are classic members of poverty cycle. One’s a jobless scumbag and the other works as a part time prostitute. They will never leave the Bronx.

Your Superpower

Did you know that you have a superpower? That super power is love. One way to use this superpower is by sending it. According to Klaus Joehle, in his book Living on Love: “The Messenger”, you can send love to any person, animal, place, and thing. All you have to do is imagine the object of your attention enveloped in bright light. That bright light is a form of love.

Send love to anyone and anything. This kind of action can heal, transform, and improve everything. Send it to a person who bothers you and to the person you love. Send it to a place that you are about to go to and to food that you are about to eat. Send it to yourself and to planet Earth. You can just visualize bright light filling and surrounding places, people, things, ideas, and anything else you want. Test it out and watch what happens.

Love is one of our most powerful healing tools. Not only can you help yourself with it, but others as well.

You can make a big difference in the world just by sending love.

Love and intention are two of the most powerful forces in the Universe and when combined, miracles happen. Fortunately, sending love includes both of these forces.

Instead of worrying about something, send love to it. Imagine the situation being surrounded with bright light. This is one of the fastest ways to let go, feel better, make way for solutions, and turn negative energy into positive energy.  

A guided meditation for sending love to yourself and planet Earth:

Close your eyes, take a deep breath in, and imagine a small bright light in your heart center. As you breathe out, imagine this bright light expanding, filling your entire body, and surrounding it. Take another deep breath in. As you breathe out, imagine bright light enveloping the entire planet Earth. Finally, picture people smiling and animals radiating with joy. Picture peace on Earth.

You may use the same method of sending love to specific people, animals, places, and things.

Let’s remember to send love to planet Earth on a daily basis—and that includes all of the beings on it. It is one of the sweetest, kindest, and easiest things you can do!

Not only is it as easy as breathing, but each time you send Love you receive more Love yourself because the Love comes from within you and must travel through you before it is sent out. And that’s an indescribable bonus.”

“You have an endless supply of Love. You cannot ever run out”.  —Klaus Joehle

Sharkboy and Lavagirl script

Sharkboy was not always
half shark, half boy.
He was a marine biologist -
or, at least, in training.
His father studied
great white sharks
and called his son “Sharkboy” because of
how much he loved to care for the sharks.
He made them sushi
and had given them all names:
Goodmilk, Peggy, Eggbat…
and Crackett.
But one day an incredible,
mysterious storm appeared.
It swept away the entire laboratory.
Sharkboy!
Thanks to their life rafts,
Sharkboy and his father survived.
But they survived
on different sides of the wreckage,
each floating off in a
different direction.
Sharkboy!
Sharkboy was completely alone.
Almost completely.
But one of the sharks
recognized him.
Hey, it’s Sharkboy.
Don’t take a bite outta him, boys -
he’s a friend.
They took Sharkboy to their cave home
, where he’d be safe and dry.
His new family were sharks.
Hundreds of sharks.
The sharks raised him
as one of their own,
training him in the
ways of the shark.
You must keep moving to survive.
Always go forward, never back.
To live by instinct
and instinct alone.
Eventually he grew gills,
and sharp talons for claws.
His teeth sharpened themselves
to a point.
He grew fins - all sorts of fins.
But that was years ago.
I first met Sharkboy while
fishing on the dock this summer.
He seemed lost.
- You have to get a job!
- No, I have a job!
So I snuck him home…
Then maybe you should just leave.
when my parents
were too busy to notice.
I kept him fed and in water.
He had been traveling the universe
in search of his father.
He told me of his latest adventures
on a planet so cool it makes you drool.
He said I too
could go to Planet Drool someday.
Then one night
I was visited by a glowing light.
An amazing girl with purple flames for hair
and skin of molten lava rock appeared.
I called her…
Lavagirl.
She smiled at me,
for that seemed to be her name.
She told me she needed Sharkboy
to return to Planet Drool with her,
for a great crisis was developing.
She asked if I could go with them.
I told her, “I have school tomorrow. ”
She gave me a sad look
and flamed away,
taking Sharkboy with her.
I haven’t seen Sharkboy
or Lavagirl since then.
And that’s what I did this summer.
Enough!
Someone is picking that up.
And it’s not gonna be me!
We were supposed to tell true stories.
That is a true story.
- Does Lavagirl have special powers?
- There’s no such thing as Lavagirl.
She can…
She can shoot lava out of her hands.
Cool.
How many people think
Max’s story is true?
- Not true.
- Made up.
- Not true.
- It’s just a made-up story.
If it’s true, why don’t you bring
Sharkboy and Lavagirl to class tomorrow?
They went away.
I don’t know where they went.
Have a seat, Max.
Linus, you’re next.
This summer, I met a new friend…
who was half dork, half boy.
I called him Dorkboy.
But his real name was Max.
We had him for dinner, but he stunk
so bad that we all blew chunks.
That’s enough, Linus.
Linus, Max, stay.
Come on, Mr. E!
Class, what’s my name?
Mr. Electricidad.
Mr. Electricidad, exactly.
Not Mr. Electric,
not Mr. Electrici-tha-tha-tha-tha.
Linus, you just earned a minus
for your behavior today.
This is a new year.
Do you think you can be friends?
No.
Then it’s been decided:
You’ll be the best of friends.
Which means
no more picking on Max, Linus.
Max.
You’re in the fourth grade.
There are some good kids in this class.
Find them. Make friends with them.
Dreaming keeps you from seeing
what’s right here in front of you.
This isn’t a dream.
This is the real world.
Lost my train of thought.
No dreaming. Got it.
I’ll try harder.
What do you have there?
It’s my dream journal.
It has all of my most
precious dreams in it.
I’ll never part with it
for as long as I live.
You’re a good kid, Max.
Max!
Let’s be imaginary friends.
You can try and hang with us…
and we’ll pretend you don’t exist!
Check it out.
Sharkboy gets shocked by electric eels,
and then they feed on his cooked flesh.
Wow, Linus.
Your skills are… weak.
Ohh…
I’m gonna burst your bubble, Dream Boy.
You’re dead!
Get the book!
Give me the book.
Hand over the book,
or you’ll visit the dream world!
Ooh…
Agh-haa…
All right! Got it!
I’ll bring you a revised edition tomorrow.
- Max, wake up!
- Dream, Max.
- Open your eyes, Max. - Eyes
open, and dream. Stay dreaming.
Wake up!
Sharkboy!
And Lavagirl!
Hyah!
Max!
My cookies! My giant cookies!
What are you doing baking sweets? You
know what happens when he eats sugar.
I baked them for his class.
So you could make friends at school,
and now you’ve eaten all of them.
No, it was Sharkboy and Lavagirl!
Look - this one has shark bites,
and this one is singed.
There’s no such thing
as Sharkboy and Lavagirl.
Well, I believe him.
Your mother’s right. When you go to sleep
and close your eyes, they may come back.
But when you open ‘em again, Sharkgirl
and Lavaboy’ll be… outta here.
- But…
- Shh. Mouth closed, eyes closed.
- Now?
- Yes, now.
You can wait till you’re in bed
to close your eyes, Max.
Kids need their dreams.
Kids… need to grow up!
He’s not making any friends
with these cookies!
There’s no such thing
as Sharkboy and Lavagirl.
There’s no such thing
as Sharkboy and Lavagirl.
Yes, there is.
Stupid plugs!
Please don’t let me have to go to school.
They’ll make fun of me, I know it!
I wish I could just escape this loser world
and go to Planet Drool.
Games and toys and laughs and fun…
May there be terrible storms,
rain, sleet, snow, tornadoes…
so I can lay here all day tomorrow
and dream of Drool.
Guess I didn’t dream hard enough.
There are plenty of good opportunities.
You just need to look.
Ooh, traffic engineer!
Hey.
I was cleaning out my closet
and look what I found.
Remember Tobor?
The robot you tried to build?
Why were you cleaning out your closet?
I had to find one of these.
- Is Mom making you get a real job again?
- Writing is a real job.
- When it pays.
- Max, I’m walking you to school today.
So what do you say?
Wanna finish making Tobor?
It won’t work.
- Well, how do you know?
- 'Cause you told me it wouldn’t.
I did?
I’m sorry.
I should’ve never said that.
It’s OK. You were right.
Dumb idea.
How did these happen?
The grass was dead anyway.
Why are you so morbid?
I just wish anything could happen
so I wouldn’t have to go to school today.
That’s not realistic, Max.
It’s bad enough your father’s head
is in the clouds, but not you too, OK?
Just push that dream aside and move on.
Like with your dream?
The one about you and Dad and me?
Well, I do have a dream about us,
but, as I’m sure you’ve been noticing
lately, your father and I are just…
Well, we’re… not compatible.
Sorry. I don’t mean to dump all this on you
right before you have to go to school, but…
school’s waiting.
Did we have to move so close to school?
Your father thought
we’d save money on gas.
Come right home after school today, 'cause
there’s some things we need to talk about.
I love you.
I wish anything could happen
so I wouldn’t have to come home today.
Hey, look, it’s Dream Boy!
Who knows where tornadoes come from?
Well, when cold air mixes with hot air,
it can form a tornado,
as the hot and cold chase each other
around and around and around.
I dreamt of a story kind of like Sharkboy
and Lavagirl - Ice Girl and Dream Boy.
Her powers come from her crystal heart.
No more fairy tales.
Piranha Girl and Beluga Boy.
Plastic Boy and Metal Girl.
Barf Boy and Vomit Girl.
Does everyone hear me?
I’m a teacher, right?
Wrong. I’m an awakener.
Only I’m finding it more and more difficult
to keep my class… awake.
No recess again for you, Marissa -
too many allergies.
There are more boogers on your work
than there is work.
I’m just cold.
I’ll be happy to change places with you.
It’s a lot warmer back there in my spot.
But I… have to sit up front.
It’s just that you’re sitting
right under the vent.
- It’s August and you’re sneezing.
- You’re gonna get me in trouble.
Max.
Are you… trying to make real friends?
Trying, like you told me to.
That’s good.
Just not with my daughter, OK?
No! It wasn’t like that. It’s just…
Sit down, Max.
- Give me back my journal!
- Class has begun. Everyone in your seats.
- Linus took my journal!
- I did not!
Minus! I mean, Linus.
You get a minus for misconduct.
Give Max back his journal.
One more time, Linus, and we’ll have to
change your name to Minus.
He ruined my dream journal!
I did not! Mr. Electric,
send him to the principal’s office
and have him expelled!
You’re in my class,
not the other way around!
I know everything
and you know nothing!
At the end of class, both of you
report to the principal’s office!
With your parents!
Everybody down!
It’s them!
I’m looking for Max.
She’s hot!
Whoa!
We need your help, Max.
Come with us.
What do I have to do?
Go with us to Planet Drool.
We’ll explain on the way.
We’re going to Planet Drool?
It’s my home planet.
Just outside our solar system.
You should know, Max - you made it up.
- I can’t go with you.
- Why not?
Because you’re not real.
Both of you are just a dream.
And when I open my eyes, you’ll be gone.
We’re still here, Max.
If you wanna stop the darkness
from destroying our worlds, come with us.
You better go with them.
OK… I’ll go.
Everyone follow me
and we’ll find shelter.
I can’t believe I’m finally getting
to ditch this place and go to Planet Drool!
How are we getting there?
Put these on, everybody.
Blue goggles for the boys,
pink for the girls.
Do you have another pair of boy goggles?
Uh-uh.
So, how do you fly it?
- You don’t know?
- Duh!
That’s sort of been the whole problem!
You press go.
- Now, how do you fly it?
- It’s got an autopilot.
You just thought of everything,
didn’t you, Max?
Not exactly.
- How do we land it?
- That’s the part I never thought of!
Jupiter… Saturn… Neptune…
You might wanna hold on to something.
Recognize your dream world, Max?
Not really.
I feel like I should,
but I just don’t.
It’s affecting him too.
I thought he would just remember.
- Remember what?
- Your dreams. This planet?
Us.
Your powers.
- I have powers?
- More than any of us.
Don’t you know that?
Everything that is or was,
began with a dream.
And you dreamt us, Max.
Us and this whole place.
I did?
Every dream you ever had
landed right here on Planet Drool.
Why is it so dark?
The planet is dying.
It began yesterday.
What’s the calculation, Sharkboy?
45 minutes till the darkness
destroys Planet Drool.
We didn’t go to Earth to save you, Max.
We need you to save Planet Drool.
But how?
The Dream Lair
is on the other side of the planet.
That’s where your dreams are going bad.
We have to go there and reverse it.
We have to travel through the Passage
of Time, catch the Train of Thought,
swim down the Stream of Consciousness
and skate across the Sea of Confusion -
now covered in ice.
Why’d you do that, Max?
Why’d you freeze the ocean?
I…
Ouch!
Max didn’t mean to do it.
Did you, Max?
Max is a good boy, otherwise you and
I would be evil, and we’re not evil.
I’m not evil, am I, Max?
I don’t think so.
That’s why we brought you here -
to put things back in order.
We just have to stay positive.
It’s not the end of the world.
Not yet, it’s not.
The darkness! Run!
This is like a bad dream!
Oh, yeah? Just wait till you meet Mr.
Electric! He’s the worst bad dream yet!
Where is everyone?
- Mostly trapped on Mount Neverrest.
- By Mr. Electric.
But Planet Drool’s a place for kids
to dream and have endless fun!
It’s endless fun, all right.
Once you get on…
you can’t get off.
Kids aren’t allowed to rest,
'cause if they rest, they sleep,
and if they sleep, they dream.
- And if they dream…
- It takes power away from Mr. Electric.
But we’re gonna stop him
with our secret weapon.
Shouldn’t we save those kids first?
Why can’t I do that?
Lavagirl! Hooray!
Who knows where Mr. Electric is hiding?
Everyone?
They’re not raising their hands.
You’re all upside down.
Ah.
Who is stopping
my unstoppable coasters?
- Back in your seats!
- Go! Run! Hide!
- Let’s get outta here!
- Everyone back in your seats!
Who’s Mr. Electric?
He’s supposed to provide light to the
planet, but all he brings now is darkness.
Fun has begun!
He’s taking us up!
My home! At half its normal power.
He’s taking us down.
Show time!
Keep playing! Never stop!
Games and toys and laughs…
hey-hey-hey… and fun!
Well, well, well.
If it isn’t Sharkboy and Lavagirl.
What are you doing halting my endless-fun
coaster and infiltrating my lair?
We don’t need permission from you.
Fiery!
I don’t believe we’ve met.
I’m Mr. Electric!
Why are you bringing misery to our planet?
You’re supposed to be running it.
You’re supposed to be running it.
I am running it - right into the ground.
- Those are my orders.
- Who ordered that?
No school, no discipline, no rules.
And, most important, no dreams.
Dreams can destroy you, can’t they?
- My instincts tell me that is so.
- Really?
- That’s why we have to stop you.
- You and what army?
- Now?
- Now.
Ha-ha-ha-haa! Pee-pee-pee-pee…
Feel the burn!
Agh…
Not for real. Aaah!
Ha-ha!
Internal radar, shark-like reflexes…
You’re amazing!
But is it enough to defeat Mr. Electric?
We have our secret weapon, remember?
Did you really believe you could stop me?
Oh… Ah…
I know we can’t. But he can.
Take it away, Max.
- Show him what you’re made of, Max.
- What am I supposed to do?
- I told you this would happen.
- I thought he would just remember.
Remember what?!
The dream. Remember the dream.
I don’t remember half my dreams.
That’s why I write them
in my dream journal.
What half of your dreams
do you remember?
This one I remember.
Where are you taking us?
Where all useless dreams go -
to the Dream Graveyard!
Whoa!
Ploop!
Cuckoo!
Well, at least we’re on
the Passage of Time.
Maybe it’ll take us to the Dream Lair.
It’s going in the wrong
direction. The Dream Lair’s that way.
What’s in the Dream Lair?
It’s where all the dreams
that fuel Planet Drool are stored.
But they’re being destroyed.
- How?
- That’s what we have to find out.
Soon even Sharkboy and I
will cease to exist.
Duck!
Max, where is your dream journal?
Great thinking, Sharkie!
We can read his dreams out loud
and turn everything back to the way it was.
I may even realize my true identity.
I threw it away.
My journal’s back on Earth.
We really thought
you were the answer, Max.
Don’t listen to him. He’s just upset
because you didn’t show up
and make him king of the ocean,
with a giant fish army to back him up.
Look who’s talking!
You thought you’d find a great use
for your powers and heal the planet.
Max thought his dream world would be
a happy place. We’ve all been duped.
Ohh!
I think you broke my fin.
Sorry.
Hey, you! I see you hiding!
Come back here!
I was awakened!
I’m sorry.
Did all the children
from Mount Neverrest escape?
It was Sharkboy and Lavagirl.
But I took care of it - see?
Someone was with them?
Just another child afraid of
his own shadow. No threat to us.
I banished him to the Dream Graveyard.
Where old dreams lie?
He could find an ally!
I told you, every dream must be smashed,
every child captured!
You want him back, we’ll simply
track him when he falls asleep.
Fool! He’s the Daydreamer.
And the moment he realizes it
will be the moment of our doom!
Now what do you want me to do?
Bring me the boy
before he discovers his true powers
and tears my new kingdom apart!
Plugs, redirect the darkness.
And…
bring me the Plughounds!
We’ll never find our way
out of this graveyard.
Darkness! Headed this way!
Sit down, Max.
- What for?
- Close your eyes and dream.
If Max can’t remember his dreams,
maybe he can redream them.
He could dream us out of here.
Dream, Max.
Now, what do you see?
I see a… giant…
chocolate-chunk marshmallow cookie…
with lots of warm milk.
- Sorry. I’m starving.
- Here’s some food.
- You’re not gonna like that.
- I’m so hungry I could eat lava rocks.
What is that?!
Lava rocks.
Here, have some real food.
Fresh sushi.
- It’ll knock you right out.
- That’s not fresh.
I’m not even sure that’s sushi anymore.
- It’s just a few weeks old.
- I’ll cook it for you.
Oops.
It’s OK. I’m not that hungry anymore.
Let me just rest a moment.
Maybe I can sleep.
It’s getting closer.
Get outta here!
Max, I know you’ve got a lot to figure out,
but if you happen to dream about who I am
and how I fit into this world,
it would really be helpful for me…
No distractions. You steer him off course,
we could be lost in a sea of dreams.
- I’m sorry. I’m desperate.
- Focus on the problem at hand.
Max needs to dream us out of here,
so how about I put him to sleep?
- No, Sharkboy.
- Just one punch. He’ll be out like a light.
I’ve seen this before.
It’s on the tip of my… finger.
It’s a hand!
It is a hand.
A hand?
Another hand.
Yep?
- It’s Tobor!
- Who?
Tobor! I dreamt him up when I was a kid…
a robot that could help me
with my homework.
I tried to build him once. Everyone
kept telling me he would never work.
So here he is - a forgotten dream
in the Dream Graveyard.
Maybe he can help us.
He’s supposed to be very smart.
Tobor, awake!
Yes?
He works!
- We can ask him anything now.
- Let me, let me!
Tell me something about me.
I’m clueless.
Actually, you are extremely bright.
Am I king of the ocean, or what?
No. Sorry.
How do I save Planet Drool?
The answer is in your dreams.
You mean if I put him to sleep,
he’ll dream us out of this mess?
No. At least, not here.
Darkness is falling. Any dream of his
would become a nightmare…
and you don’t want those
becoming a reality.
But if you go
to the Land of Milk and Cookies…
Of course!
that’s where the good dreams are.
Where the answers are.
It’s perfect, Max.
The Land of Milk and Cookies
is a safe, sweet place.
You’ll be able to dream easily there.
Can you take us?
I have no body. I can’t move.
You can move your eyes and your mouth.
Why didn’t you work back on Earth, Tobor?
Some dreams are so powerful they
become real - like Sharkboy and Lavagirl.
I, on the other hand,
am still only a dream.
Oh…
- What’s wrong?
- Train of Thought… I’m losing it.
You were taking us to the Land
of Milk and Cookies, remember?
I mean I’m literally losing
the Train of Thought. It’s down there.
That’s the Train of Thought?
How do I keep it on track?
With your mind. The Train of Thought
gets easily distracted.
Stay focused, and it’ll speed you directly
to the Land of Milk and Cookies.
The rest is up to you.
Sorry I forgot about you, Tobor.
Are you kidding? You just saved me.
I’m free!
Max, get down here!
- What’s wrong?
- We can’t control it.
All you have to do is keep it on track.
How can you keep it on track
if there is no track?
Looks like another dream gone bad!
What do we do?
Yell? Scream?
Jump. It’ll be all right.
What does it mean
when your Train of Thought… wrecks?
Well… It can’t be good, buddy.
How much time do we have, Sharkboy?
20 minutes.
Eww!
Stick to rotten fish, please!
Chocolate! I stepped in chocolate!
We’re here.
The Land of Milk and Cookies!
Oh, yeah!
The milk is warm.
He’ll be out in no time.
Lay down.
Here’s a marshmallow pillow.
How about dreaming us
into the Dream Lair?
The ground is thumping too much.
My highly trained ears hear it too.
Boom, boom, boom.
- Let me hear it.
- I wouldn’t.
Hothead.
When you dreamt up these giant cookies,
who did you expect to be able to eat them?
I really didn’t think about it.
'Cause if you dream giant cookies,
something has to be created
to consume giant cookies.
Cookie giants!
Ohh…
Frosting.
Those giants almost look like my parents.
They seem happy together.
Is that your dream?
We had a dream we’re family.
It hasn’t been coming true lately.
Most dreams don’t come true on their own.
You have to make them true.
It takes a lot of work. Not easy.
But not impossible either.
Stinking fresh air!
Blinding sunlight!
Oh, how I long for a sky
of fluorescent lights!
Ahh…
Better stand back.
All right, that was me.
- Still empty-handed, I see.
- If you’re so powerful, you find him.
That’s your job!
Do it, or I’ll have you discharged!
Shh…
Someone is dreaming in here.
All right, Max, you’ve had
your cookies and milk. Now go to sleep.
I’ll try.
Go to sleep!
Not like that. Sing him a lullaby.
Your turn.
It’s working! Keep it up, Sharkboy.
Dream about me next, Max.
I need to know who I am.
Not just destruction or a simple flame.
Dream of me as something good.
He’s having a nightmare!
Wake up, Max! Wake up!
Stop that racket, Sharkboy -
you’re giving him nightmares!
Sorry, Max.
Argh!
Ow! Ohh…
What was that for?
Your nightmare was about me, wasn’t it?
I don’t remember.
But I did dream about one thing…
Plughounds!
This may come as a shock to you.
Feel the power!
It’s empty!
Fudge.
I forgot to dream of gas.
Max!
My powers are weakening.
Watch the power lines - very dangerous.
Yaaarrhh!
Yaaarrhh!
Sharkboy, get me down from here!
Can’t you see I’m busy?
Hot lava… Hot lava…
I don’t got much fight left in me, Max.
Where’s Lavagirl?
It’s up to you now, Max.
Dream us out of here.
We believe in you, Max.
Shark boat with turbo boosters!
Shark boat with turbo boosters!
A banana split?!
Still hungry, Max?
How about a knuckle sandwich?
No, look!
It’s a banana-split boat!
Then let’s split!
Ow!
Huh?
Catch you later.
All dreamers must dream.
This is great, Max.
You’re starting to daydream.
Keep that up, and they’ll never get us.
Why not?
Learn to dream with your eyes open,
and you won’t have to be asleep to dream.
You’ll be able to make anything happen
at any time.
Sugar will give you nightmares.
- How much time do we have?
- Don’t ask.
The Dream Lair’s across the Ocean of Ice.
We’ll have to travel there by foot.
What was it you saw in your dream, Max?
I saw an object shaped like…
Give me something to draw with.
The Crystal Heart!
That’s the treasure of the Land of Ice!
In the Ice Castle.
It can freeze anything - even time.
I’ve always dreamt
of freezing a moment in time.
And the Ice Castle’s
ruled by the Ice Princess.
I hear she’s the most beautiful girl
on the planet.
Ouch!
She is not! She’s cold and cruel
and cares for nobody but herself.
She’s just saying that, Max.
- Have you met her?
- No. But I know we don’t get along.
- How do you know that?
- I’m fire. She’s ice.
We must be enemies.
We need that Crystal Heart.
But I need you both to get it.
I just hope this isn’t a trap.
Whoa!
If we freeze time with the Crystal Heart,
we’ll be able to make it to the Dream Lair
and save the planet.
That’s the plan.
Behold the Ice Castle!
Home to the Princess of the Land of Ice.
- The Crystal Heart’s inside the castle?
- So they say.
Let’s go.
It’s no use! I’ll melt the bridge.
This place inflames me.
Can you cool down enough to get across?
I’d have to be asleep to do that.
Can you try sleepwalking?
My dream is to live on Earth -
but someplace warm…
and that Earth will accept me,
even… if I… destroy…
everything I… touch!
No, Lavagirl! Don’t sneeze!
Aaa-tchoo!
Aarghh…
Look.
She’s sleeping.
- They’ve found us again! Lavagirl!
- Shh!
If you wake her up, she’ll reheat.
She can make it.
Lavagirl, they’re behind you!
- Let’s go. Hurry!
- Argh!
It’s a trap!
You can almost feel
the electricity in the air, can’t you?
This is all wrong.
Someone else’s dreams are in here.
Lights out!
Welcome to the Dream Lair!
I am the ruler of Planet Drool.
No, you’re not! Max is!
Max may have dreamed it originally…
but I am much… cooler.
I… am Minus.
How’d you get so powerful?
I do a lot of reading.
My book of dreams!
That’s why everything’s so messed up -
he’s changing it!
Electric eels.
Shocking, isn’t it, Sharkboy?
Reminds me of the time that electrical
storm blew apart your father’s laboratory.
- Where is my father?
- Hm.
Let’s see.
Check the bottom of the ocean.
And Lavagirl…
Once I figure out
how to freeze this planet’s core,
all of your powers will disappear.
Powers? What powers?
And last but least, Max.
You thought you could escape fear
by running away to dreamland.
But fear exists
in the one place you can never escape!
Your mind!
I will show you the true meaning of fear.
When darkness falls,
the rest of your dreams will be destroyed
and I will rule Planet Drool.
Blah-blah-blah, threat-threat-threat…
You must all leave now.
I have some dreaming to do.
Whoa!
If I could just get my dream journal,
I could turn everything
back to the way it was.
My fire’s dimming.
I can’t melt the bars.
My strength is failing me as well.
How much time do we have, Sharkboy?
Who cares?
We’re never getting out of here.
La La’s.
They like you.
- I don’t feel distracted right now.
- I do!
This song is driving me crazy!
Don’t worry about him.
He’s a cold fish.
I’m serious!
They’re singing at a frequency…
my highly trained ears find…
disturbing!
Sing louder. Sing higher.
You don’t wanna be too close to him
when he explodes.
Aaargghh!
Shark frenzy!
Nice job channeling your anger, Sharkie.
Huh.
First things first.
Transportation out of here.
My dreams.
Lavagirl, you have a lava bike!
I do?
I do!
This is so exciting!
Cool it, Lavagirl.
Everything we need
is right here in this book.
Sharkboy… your father really is
at the bottom of the ocean.
He’s in a submarine.
Looking for you!
He’s over the hydrothermal vents,
Mid-Atlantic Ridge,
42 degrees west by 14 north.
Depth: 1800 meters.
Near a snake pit!
I need to get back to Earth.
- What’s it say about me?
- I’m not sure what this is.
I can figure it out. Maybe there’s
a section on my true identity.
Lavagirl, no!
Oh, no. What have I done?
That’s terrific, LG!
It’s OK, Lavagirl.
It was an accident.
Why did you make me out of lava?!
Why, Max?
Just let her cool down.
She’s just blowing off steam.
I know I can be good.
I can feel it.
But everything I touch, I destroy.
Why did you make me like that?
I have more potential.
I’m sure you do.
And why’d you make us a team?
We’re nothing alike.
When I’m near water, I fizzle out.
When he’s near heat, he shrivels.
We’re not compatible.
Your… hair’s on fire.
Yeah, it does that.
Thanks, Sharkie.
Maybe I really am evil.
So far everything else you’ve dreamed
has been correct.
Maybe I just need to learn to accept it.
That’s it! Everything I’ve dreamt so far
has been correct.
The Crystal Heart!
Yeah, we were captured, but that’s
'cause Minus doesn’t want me to get it.
We have to get back to the Ice Castle.
10 minutes left. We’ll never make it!
- We can do it!
- How?
You’re Sharkboy and Lavagirl.
You can do anything.
Wake up!
What?
He escaped.
And he’s getting the Crystal Heart.
Shut it down. Shut it all down now!
I did. It’s on a grid system.
It takes time for the darkness to travel.
- How soon?
- Not soon enough.
- Then destroy him.
- How?
By smashing his most precious dream:
Sharkboy and Lavagirl.
Is that what you saw, Max?
Yes.
You’ll have to climb the
ice pillar and get it.
It’s as delicate as a snowflake,
so don’t drop it.
And don’t touch it with your hands either -
you’ll freeze.
Use your claws.
Aaarrhh…
Lava, can you…?
Never mind.
Chew on some ice. It’ll keep you cool.
Hm.
Great job, Max.
I got it!
She’s frozen solid!
Kneel before the Ice Princess.
You tried to steal the Crystal Heart.
Why?
We believe it can freeze time.
Long enough for us to defeat Minus.
My Crystal Heart cannot help you.
Only I have the power to use it.
- Then come with us.
- She can never leave this castle.
The crystal is the only thing
that protects our kingdom.
Please, Princess.
We’re running out of time.
Perhaps I could give it to you.
- Not without my blessing.
- Father, you’re smothering me again.
But are you worthy to wield it?
Yes.
The crystal you stole was a decoy.
The true Crystal Heart
is somewhere in this room.
Choose the correct one,
and you may carry it before you.
Pick that one.
It’s around your neck.
- How’d you know?
- I saw it in my dream.
Usually, if you snooze, you lose.
With Max, you snooze, you win.
But be warned, Max,
if anything happens to my Crystal Heart,
my entire kingdom will be destroyed.
Do you, Max, take this Crystal Heart
to have and to hold,
in sickness and in health,
till death do you part?
I do.
- Do you trust him with your heart?
- I do.
Do you mean what you say?
Yes.
I mean, I do.
The crystal will now work -
but my daughter must stay here.
Off with you, then!
Good luck.
We’re almost at the Dream Lair!
If we’re gonna do this, we gotta do it now!
- How much time?
- We’re out of time!
10 seconds!
What?
I can’t hear you.
- Five seconds.
- Here it goes.
Three, two, one…
We’re out of time.
- What happened?
- It didn’t work.
How could it not work?
I was trying to tell you! Whoa…
Only the Ice Princess can use it.
It’s not her fault
her father won’t let her leave her castle.
Boo-hoo.
No underwater readings.
No anything!
I’ll rip your sockets to shreds!
Calm down, Sharkboy.
Mr. Electric’s baiting you.
I can’t… fight…
my instincts!
No, Sharkboy!
Hey!
Watts… up?
You know - watts.
As in a measure of electrical power.
The 60-watt bulb?
Watts up?
What?
Electric eels. That’s what’s up.
Swim away, Sharkboy! Swim away!
Can he survive down there?
He can hold his breath, but not forever.
- He’ll drown if I don’t go get him.
- I can’t let you go.
You’ll die too.
He’s my best friend.
Come on, Sharkboy.
Come on, Sharkboy!
Sharkboy! Wake up, Sharkboy!
Lavagirl!
Lavagirl! Lavagirl, please!
Lavagirl…
What am I gonna do now?
What do you think you should do?
Dream a better dream.
Interesting. Explain.
I wanted all my dreams to come true,
but I only dreamt for myself.
I wanted to escape my real world,
when the world needed my help
to make it a better place.
Selfish dreams shouldn’t come true.
You’re becoming
a very good dreamer, Max.
A very good dreamer indeed.
What do you do
when your dreams have been destroyed?
Dream a better dream.
An unselfish dream.
She knew this would happen
if she saved you.
But I couldn’t stop her.
Look!
Lava.
We have to get her to that volcano.
I’ll go. I’m stronger and faster.
You’ll burn up.
- Sure this will save her?
- It’ll do more than save her.
I know who you are, Lavagirl.
You are not fire, or a simple flame.
You are greater than that.
Something more important,
and so necessary.
It is why you must live.
You are not destruction.
You are not evil.
Stand back.
You are… light.
Who turned on the lights?! Oh!
Power, everywhere!
Whoa! How’d you get here so fast?
Hold off Mr. Electric
while I deal with Minus.
I’ll need my fish army.
I’ll unfreeze the ocean.
Good luck.
I’ve become what you feared most…
Minus.
How did you get in here?
I’m the Daydreamer,
able to dream with my eyes open.
Hate to burst your bubble, Dream Boy,
but I read your book.
There’s not one dream you’ve got
that I haven’t already seen.
So what do you say?
Let’s blow the roof off this place.
May the best dream win!
Wait!
Brainstorm!
Eugh!
Brain… freeze!
Brain…
fart!
Oh…
Get ready for the ultimate power outage.
And who are you to believe
that you can defeat me now?
No one special.
Just… king of the ocean.
Ooh…
Shark frenzy.
Aaarhh… Aaarhh… Aaarhh…
A- ha!
You’re afraid of me, aren’t you?
I used to be.
Someone smashed your dreams once…
now all you can do
is smash everyone else’s.
We can create a better dream than this.
A better world.
Don’t you see?
What do you say…
Linus?
Hurry!
No!
Don’t let me fall!
Wouldn’t dream of it.
Don’t smash people’s dreams, Linus,
because you’ll smash your own as well.
And you too will stop believing.
Max!
I am light.
Thank you.
You were always that.
It had nothing to do with me.
But now I know. So thank you.
OK, so she’s a light. Big deal.
The real news is… what I am.
Annoying?
King of the ocean.
Thanks for saving me.
Ouch.
Everything will return
to being the way it was.
You will be able to travel to Earth
and back again as you wish.
You can search for your father.
You can rule Earth’s lava world.
And what am I to do,
now that you’re all buddy-buddy?
Mr. Electric can go back to being
the good electrician of the planet.
Oh, really?
Plugging in power cords?
Keeping this loud, obnoxious world
a happy place?
You’re dreaming!
I dreamt you up,
and I can undream you.
You think you can just snap your eyes
open and make me vanish? Not so easy.
I am the danger of dreaming.
For every person
who dreams up the electric light bulb,
there’s the one
who dreams up the atom bomb.
This is one dream
you won’t be waking up from.
I’m gonna put an end
to this ridiculous tangent at its source!
Where did he go?
He’s headed to Earth.
He’s going to try and destroy you
in your sleep.
In my sleep?
You mean I’m asleep?
All this time I’ve been asleep?
No. You’re dreaming, Max.
With your eyes open.
Make the dream real.
You can live out your dreams on Earth.
Just like you made us real.
Make it real.
Blink your eyes three times.
One…
Wait. What happens when…?
Two…
Will I ever see you again?
Three.
Everyone follow me, I said!
We’ve got to find shelter!
Max, get up!
There’s a tornado heading our way!
It’s not a tornado.
It’s much worse than that.
Linus, wake up!
Look!
Charge!
It’s Mr. Electric from Planet Drool!
The one from my dreams!
You mean… this is real?
Your dream is real?
Some dreams are so powerful
they become real.
I don’t believe it.
- It’s right there in front of you!
- I can see that!
What I can’t believe is you dreamt me
as a big round bad guy! I’m not bad!
Sorry. Kinda took on a life of its own.
- Max is in Building C.
- No, he’s not. He’s in Building W.
That was the other school!
Aaarhh!
Help!
Find Max! Tell him I love him!
- Don’t leave me!
- I thought you wanted me to leave.
No, I don’t. You’re my best friend.
I love you.
I love you too.
Aaargh!
Come back!
Please, come back.
I’m not going anywhere.
Neither am I.
Aah… Aargh!
Uh-oh.
Aaargghh!
OK, class. I’m just a teacher, and
I’m here to inspire the answers from you.
And I think that’s some
pretty good inspiration outside.
So this is now a pop quiz.
We need to defeat that guy. Any ideas?
Wow, Linus. You get a plus
for being the first hand in the air.
I can take him.
Linus, watch out!
- Poop.
- Aaargh!
Ohh…
Nice try.
Sorry, Max. Your journal.
It’s OK. It was an accident.
Plenty more dreams
where those came from.
OK, kids, who’s next?
Remember, there are no dumb ideas.
- Maybe we can freeze his circuits.
- That’s the dumbest idea I ever heard.
We’re in the middle of Texas in August!
Next idea? Anyone but Linus.
Wait - that’s a great idea!
Thanks, Linus.
Come here, Marissa.
Is this yours?
How’d you find it?
So you’ve seen this?
Yes, but… only in a dream.
- It can freeze anything.
- Even time.
What are you doing?
You’re not sending my daughter out there.
Let her out.
Electrical storm headed your way!
- Do you know what to do?
- I believe so.
Stand back.
Oh, who do we have here?
Get ready for the mega-hurts!
Get it? Hertz?
As in the unit of electrical frequency?
You’re just not paying attention in class,
are you?
Ooh!
Whoa! Awesome!
He’s unplugged.
Yeah!
- You made me a great teacher today.
- How did I do that?
A great teacher learns as much
from his students as they do from him.
You have… awakened me.
Thank you, Max.
Max.
Your report, please.
The following story is true.
It might have started as a dream,
but, as we saw yesterday,
when we make our dreams a reality…
reality becomes a dream.
Sharkboy lives his dream
as king of the ocean,
where he cares for
all its creatures.
He searches for his father’s submarine
where there is no light…
except in one place, where light shines
almost as bright as the sun.
It’s where Lavagirl lives her dream,
as queen of Earth’s volcanoes
that boil at the bottom of the sea,
a force of life for
all living things.
Sharkboy and Lavagirl
don’t visit me anymore.
But I can visit them - in my dreams.
So dream a better dream…
then work to make it real.
Yes?

if we’re gonna fall (we might as well jump): part three

part one, part two

AO3


Kara hears it before she sees her.

(It still doesn’t give her much time to prepare.

The sounds are soft as if she’s not even touching the floor which ha, no, only Kara could do that. She doesn’t though. Definitely not except for extreme cases like when she’s trying to sneak back into her dorm and okay, she’s not sneaky.)

There’s the sound of footsteps increasing, a notch up in the heartbeat. Kara doesn’t waste any time, starts walking faster through the halls where her room is and-

Kara.”

She tilts her head, is that? Yep, she’s tapping her foot. Kara tips back her head and offers a quick prayer before spinning around, smile wide and as bright as she can muster. “Hey M’gann.”

“Don’t hey me-”

“Bye then!” Kara goes to turn around before a hand snatches at the back of her jacket.

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