remember that person who said i use the same colors every time

Is Nalu canon?

As crunchyroll finally released the last chapter I decided writing my opinion on it. I will make side comments but the main subject will be Nalu since many of you asked me if I think it is canon or not.


First of all we will be starting with the cover page, in which Mashima left some hidden clues.

where have we seen this before? That`s right. 

Natsu`s shirt, which is more manly is more in his style with one long sleeve and a shor one is matching to Lucy`s old outfit from x792. Mashima always made them matchy clothes, didnt matter it was a bracelet, the colors, or a whole outfit.

Moving on… we didn`t have much interaction between NaLu at Lucy`s party

Even so, Mashima brought us a little nostalgia on the good times when Lucy was always screaming at Natsu and he wasn’t bothered by it, morover acting like a child. They are supposed to be 28-29 here right? (excepting the time skip) They remained the same kids they were once.


I have to say that i am really proud of Lucy. She`s such a kind girl, she didn’t care if her novel made her rich or not, but she fullfilled one of her dreams. Isn’t that amazing? I am really proud of my baby ♥

Also I have to say I am happy Anna remained in her timeline. She already lost her parents and she finally has a relative.



There we have a little teasing from Gajeel and also from Mashima himself. 

Anna was the one who sent Natsu n this timeline, Anna made his scarf. He knew her since he was a little boy, he gave him the chill and he is admitting THIS is why he is always so relaxed being around Lucy. She has always been there for him, taking care of him and covering things for him. She was a good friend to him, his best friend and she grew in more.

Gajeel is teasing Natsu in here saying “ you liked her”

What could have Natsu say? “No? I disliked her?” No. Also Gajeel is shocked about his answer. He answered so relaxed and can you see that blushing Lucy? That`s right, she is blushing because Natsu somehow said he likes her. If he likes Anna, Lucy is alike to Anna, he likes Lucy too. so regarding the fact both Lucy and Anna have a similar smell, he is always so relaxed around Lucy, isn’t it the fact that your home has a certain smell, gives you a certain comfort? This is what Lucy is for him. His home. 

In this panel, Lucy is admitting herself she is jealous over Gajevy. Why is she jealous? Because Gajevy managed growing into a mature relationship, Gajeel became a man, while Natsu is still an immature little brat, but he is her brat. We will never see Natsu saying things like Gajeel “ The woman i fell for” “ I wished walking side by side with you” or something like this. No, Natsu has his own way to express his feelings. Let`s remember some of his lines “ I am going to save Lucy” “ Lay one finger on Lucy and I turn you to ashes”  “ Even if it’s just her head, Lucy is still Lucy “ “ From today on, you are mine” “Long time no see, Lucy” and so many others. There are different ways of saying “I love you” Its in your gestures and let’s remember how Natsu was affected by Future Lucy’s death and when they fought with August how he climbed over her to protect her. He is never going to let her die again.

Also Lucy is blushing so hard and is emarassed by the things Gajeel and Levy had done. She is not mature herself to do things a couple should be doing. She is still embarassed about this even if she is 19(or 28)


See? She had the same reaction as Wendy. A reaction a child would have when hearing things.


This doesnt have any link to Nalu but im posting it for gruvians and my gruvia heart


Finally you`ve got a hang of it Gray-sama. @giushia

Going back.

Mashima is giving a tease again. “ the pair im most” the pair. So there are pairings.


Even if they fought Zeref and he put them trough hell, look at her face. She knows that Zeref and Mavis had found their peace they are back being someone else. Her look is saying “ sadness but still happiness” Could this be the love she`s also dreaming of? Even if they had a tragic destiny, they found their way back to each other. 


she, herself is happy for everyone. Every single mage is happy including herself.

Now, let`s start with the Nalu Pages 

there you go, Mashima putting another old scene. “ This is my room” But remember the first time Natsu was in her room? She kicked him out. 


While now she made this cute face, she didnt kick them out and isn’t bothered by it anymore. Yet she still has to say something about it. A girl has to keep her dignity.

The love is in the gestures you do. How I said up. Natsu carried her home, took care of her. Its a little gesture, but what could had happen if he wasn’t there to carry her home while she passed out?

He took her home, he took care of her. He watched over her.


Now, that`s Lucy` way of complaining she will never walk down the aisle, she will never be a bride.

Yet, Natsu finds a way, an open door


“ You can walk out” You can walk out with HIM and join him in his job, like she has always done. Look at her face.He just gave her hope. 

THIS IS NATSU`S WAY OF SAYING “ I wanted to  walk side by side with you”. “ You can walk and take a job with us

Furthermore, she is remembering all the memories the two of them had together. She bursts in tears. 

And hugs him

She hugs him. He is the person who gave her everything. Without Natsu, Lucy would have still been the Heartfilia Princess. she should have married someone she didnt like, she wouldnt have achieved one of her dreams and she wouldnt have been in Fairy Tail. 

She is greatful for having him, for giving her everything she wished for and even if she was rich, he gave her what her parents and their money couldnt afford. Friends and family. Fairy Tail was her family, they had always protected her, they had always been there for her.


Yet, Natsu doesn’t know what to do. He doesnt  want to see her crying even if they are tears of joy. He just want to see her happy.


In these panels, I dont know if i can agree with the others or not, that a panel is missing. Seems it is missing something but at the same time not. Did he kiss her? Why is she so shocked? Or..he didnt kiss her, yet she said “ wait” if hereally didnt kiss her, then her “wait” was “ wait, I am not ready”.


But what are the things you did, Natsu? I dont think in this panel, Lucy is talking about her memories, but something he did.now.  He answers “ what does it matter?” I saw lots of movies and series where the boy, after he kissed the girl and she said something similar to what Lucy said he answered “ why does it matter”. So he really might have kissed her and let`s remember Mashima doesnt know how to draw proper kisses. So a panel could be missing up there because Mashima didnt want to ruin that haha 


They will always be togehter. They are going to a 100 years quest which is a lifetime. Natsu and Lucy will be together forever. Always and forever


My conclusion is that, in a subtle way than Gajevy`s or Gruvia, Nalu is canon and we can finally celebrate.

transcript of the speech i gave at Vassar’s black baccalaureate service

Good afternoon ladies and gentlemen, honored guests, and the Vassar class of 2017.
Just saying that aloud made me feel old. Class of 2017? Most of y'all were born after dark-skinned Aunt Viv left the Fresh Prince of Bel-Air. That’s wild.

I want to first thank you for allowing me to be a part of such a special moment in your lives. I am honored, privileged, and a bit in disbelief that you asked me of all people to give this address. I try not to have feelings, and I’m going to do my best not to cry today, but no promises.

I’m here to stand in the gap between you and your parents and guardians and any other elders in your lives that you stopped listening to because you thought they were wack and out of touch. I remember being in your shoes not TOO long ago, and it is my fervent prayer that something that I say here today will help you avoid some of the mess I went through.
To be honest I’m a little nervous, but I figured there was no way could this be worse than when Betsy DeVos went down to Bethune-Cookman, so let’s get started.

As you transition to life after Vassar the changes will be both inevitable and swift, so I’d like to begin by giving you some well-intentioned advice and warning you about the continued process of becoming an adult.

Keep reading

Sick of Losing You

Plot: Harry and Y/N lost each other when he found someone else.

Warnings: None aside that it kinda broke my heart.

Playlist to the one shot: https://www.youtube.com/playlist?list=PL2S-tehb1XqDqkmE4xnz7-SciJy61soVf

Thanks to @interfectorems for being such a good friend, supporter and for requesting this. 
Songs that are mentioned but not on the playlist are “Out of the Woods” by Taylor Swift & “If You don’t Know” by 5Sos.

Pic of this beauty isn’t mine.

I watched from a far how he held on to her hand, his fingers grasping and squeezing hers gently while his eyes never left her pretty face. He watched her speak with such an intensity in his green eyes, as if he literally saw nothing other than her. His girlfriend. Not me.
I took a deep breath, swallowed the thick lump building in my throat and turned away from the sight.
Exactly three weeks ago, Harry and I had shared a kiss. Our first kiss, which had been exactly how I’d secretly always wished for it to be. Of course it had been. Every time you get to kiss the person you love is special and like fireworks painting colors into the sky.

He’d been talking and listening to me all night, similar to how he now was with her and had at some point reached out to hold my hand, just like he was holding hers in this moment.
When the time felt right, he’d leant in and had captured my lips with his. Needless to say, Harry was a phenomenal kisser. He knew when to press further, when to use how much tongue and was very attentive to how my body responded to his. Whenever I thought about it now, my cheeks tingled with the memory of his hands cupping them gently as he cradled my face to keep me close. He’d been so soft, so perfect. Harry had touched me with a tenderness, I thought it’d break my heart. I remembered wrapping my arms around his neck and feeling like they belonged there, like I was meant to hold him close.
Only that I wasn’t. The girl he was with now only proved how insignificant I was.

I couldn’t help peaking and looking over at him again. Harry’s lips. I knew exactly how they felt when pressed against my own, knew their taste and shape. Their warmth. Harry’s touch was impossible to forget.
I watched him kiss his girlfriend with a mesmerized stare, before moving away and into the kitchen, leaving the small gathering of our friends with a murmured excuse that I needed to get a refill of my drink, when in reality I couldn’t bear seeing the man I loved sharing affectionate kisses with someone else.
But not even the kitchen was a safe area for me. t had been this exact kitchen, the one in Harry’s house, where he’d pulled me aside and told me about her for the first time.

“It’s difficult” I think he said. “It’s my fault that this situation has become so messy.”

Was it silly that I could actually still remember every word he spoke to me? That I’d engraved every pause, every take in of breath he made, deeply into my head?

“Listen, Y/N… You’re important to me. I care about you. Need you, it’s just… There is someone. Someone who could be a chance for a relationship and I really want to give this a go. Give her a go, I mean. You can understand that, right?”

At first it’d felt like none of it was real. Because how could he be serious?
Harry. My best friend, Harry.
Only three days after our magical first kiss, three days full of us talking and flirting and texting constantly, he was telling me that he wanted someone else. Her name was Ira. And though he was seemingly behaving the same way with her he had been with me, we weren’t the same. In fact, she was everything I wasn’t. So when he told me he wanted her and not me, that he was picking her over of me, how come I’d been surprised?

I would never be his first choice, not when there were thousands of others he could choose from. And it was time for my brain to learn to not interpret every kind gesture, time to learn to stop overthinking every word. It was time for my head to accept, that there was no way Harry Styles could possibly want me.

So… I had been understanding. Kind even.
I’d lied and told him that yes, I agreed that our kiss had been a mistake. We shouldn’t have done any of that and instead thought of our friendship first, rather than our impulses. I’d kept a smile on my face throughout the entire talk and even finished the short chat by wishing him good luck with her. Another lie.

My fingers shook and so I set the empty glass of my drink down quickly, worried for a moment that I might otherwise spill the last few drops. I didn’t think much when I reached for the bottle of vodka on the counter. There was no getting through this night if I didn’t have something proper to drink. If only I remembered the recipe….

“Need help?”

My shoulders tensed. It couldn’t be him. Please… anyone, literally anyone, but him.

However when I turned around, Harry was there. He stood tall and beautiful, his short hair soft and wavy. Harry’s compelling eyes held my gaze with such a tender rawness in them, my knees weakened. All my body burned for was to wrap my arms around his shoulders and have him embrace me, have him tell me that everything would be okay again. I felt like I needed it, but knew that this was a wish I would be denied. Harry must have felt it, too. It was in the air around us. It had changed and… buzzed. As if being in each other’s presence made the world halt still for a moment.

“I’m sorry,” Harry chuckled lowly when I didn’t say anything. How could he smile like everything was alright?

And what was it he was apologizing for? Abandoning our friendship? Ruining any hope I’d had to find a partner in him? Shattering my heart? Hardly.

“For scaring you,” Harry elaborated, a sudden hint of guilt in his eyes, almost as if he’d read my thoughts.

“It’s fine, Harry,” I muttered, bearing a false smile, “All good.”

It was hard to look at him. Especially his eyes. They burned a whole into my chest whenever my own orbs found them. They reminded me of the Harry he once was, the one I could always come to and rely on.

“What are you doing?” Harry asked, his head nodding towards the bottle of vodka. His forehead furrowed in a worried expression and I quickly set the container back down.

“I wanted to make myself a drink, but the recipe slipped my mind. I’m not as much of an alcoholic as it must look like.”

“Good to know,” Harry chuckled, then, visibly thinking about it first, took a step forward. “I remember what you like in your favorite drink. Could make you one.”

From how close he was standing, it was easy to notice every detail of his skin. Every curve of his lips, every hair of his barely-there beard. My stomach turned.

“That’d be nice.”

Harry smiled and nodded. “Okay.”

We avoided any touching. I was leant against the counter, he stood with a safe distance between us and only came closer when he needed a different ingredient that happened to be near me. It was awkward and… weird. It didn’t feel like ‘us’. The friends we’d been once seemed to be two completely different people. I knew him and felt he was familiar, but there was a emotional distance between us I knew neither of us could overcome. And still, I was with him and even if we behaved like strangers, being with Harry was nice.

“I think that’s it,” Harry said, breaking the silence. His eyes were set on the pink-orange liquid in my glass, then they drifted to my face. A proud smile pulled at the corners of his mouth.

“You 'think’?” I challenged shyly.

I took the glass from him (cautious not to touch his fingers) and took a sip. It tasted great.

“M'not big of a show off,” Harry grinned, “S'it good?”

I nodded and stirred the colored liquid once more. “Thanks, Harry.”

“You’re welcome, Y/N.” His voice was soft and his gaze shy.

The air around us shifted once more. My eyes teared up. What had happened to us? Harry and I… we used to be the kind of friends who didn’t stopped talking to each other for hours. At first, we’d be loud. We’d laugh and giggle so much eventually both of our tummies hurt. That was when we’d change the subject and speak more quietly, until several hours later our conversations drifted to topics only we were allowed to hear. Then we’d be whispering and sitting closer together, always an eager sparkle in the other’s eyes as we both listened with interest about what was being said.

I quickly turned away and pretended to yawn. My eyes blinked rapidly and I willed them not to cry in front of him. Not because of embarrassment, but because I couldn’t do that to him. I’d given him my okay. I had no right to be mad at him for having found someone else. Harry remained standing close and with his hands in the front pockets of his black jeans.

“I think I should go,” I muttered.

I held my head low and took a deep breath before looking at him briefly. Harry’s eyes held concern and his fingers twitched, as if he longed to reach out for me.

“Y/N, love,” he began lowly, “Do you think we could talk for a bit? S'been a while since I got to see you. Hear your voice. I missed you.”

This time when my eyes met his green orbs, I didn’t look away, even though I could feel the tears forming and coming closer to spilling over. Harry’s whole expression changed. His cheeks paled and his forehead furrowed deeper.

“I miss you, too, Harry,” I admitted, my weak voice barely above a whisper.

“No,” he mumbled, shaking his head slowly, sorrow deeply set in his eyes. His feet stepped closer and his warm hands touched my flushed cheeks before I even had the chance to back away from him. The unexpected closeness caught me off guard and had more tears coming, this time because of how much I hated how uncommon this sort of care from him had become.

Harry embraced me. His head buried itself into my neck and both arms wrapped themselves around my waist so he could lift me up from my feet. “Please no, Y/N, Sweetheart. Don’t cry.”

I couldn’t help it. My heart, the final bit that had been whole still, broke in his caring hands and I was overcome and pulled under a wave of grief. That was what I was doing. I was grieving our friendship and the lost hope I’d had for a relationship with him. And he allowed it. He let me cry against his collarbones without any complaint and instead began to hum quietly, knowing how much his voice always soothed me. Pain shot through my chest. He probably did the same when she was upset.

“I can’t-” I cried, but got cut off by my lungs that burned with need for air.

Harry hushed me, his hold tightening, “Don’t, Y/N. It’s going to be alright.”

I shook my head and loosened the hold I’d taken around his neck. My hands momentarily brushed his soft hair, then I pulled away. Harry hesitated but allowed me to step out of his hold.

“I can’t take it anymore, Harry,” I confessed, my voice breaking halfway through the sentence. I reached up to brush my cheeks with the end of my sleeve and hiccuped. My head felt numb and I knew if I didn’t get out of this kitchen soon, he’d witness a break down I wasn’t comfortable with him seeing.

Harry’s hand reached for my arm. I didn’t fight it when he pulled me closer to him, but avoided his eyes when he leaned down to find my gaze.

“Y/N,” he spoke, his voice rough with emotion, “I promise you, it’ll be alright. M'not leaving, okay? M'not. We’ll figure this out.”

I wanted to scream but all I could was shake my head rapidly. “Figure this out how? What have we become, Harry?”

Another sob wrecked through my chest.

“I don’t know,” he confessed, “But we’re going to find each other again, okay? I promise. Let me say goodbye to the others and then we’ll go for a walk or something. We’ll talk. About everything and nothing at all… Just like we always used to, yeah?”

Used to. So long ago, it seemed.

“Okay,” I whispered, my burning eyes set on my feet. My skin shivered under his warmth and my lips hurt from how much I was bitting them.

I flinched when his mouth pressed a kiss to my head. The skin was left with a burning sensation. “Wait for me here, love.”

Harry’s quick feet carried him out of the kitchen and left me standing by the counter with my heart at the pit of my stomach. I stood up straight and brushed the few remaining tears from my cheeks. My skin tingled and I felt the hint of a smile on my lips, even though my body ached.
Looking back now, I wish I would have stayed put by the counter and had waited for him just like he’d asked me to. I wish I hadn’t been impatient and eager to reunite with Harry, because that eagerness drove me to exit the kitchen shortly after him and turn the corner, allowing me clear view into the living room.
There he stood. His arms around her thin form, his hands in her long hair and his lips kissing hers. All air was knocked right out of me. I could see how his hands gently moved against her neck, bringing her in closer and their bodies flush together. When their lips parted for a moment, I could see how he let his tongue run along his lower lip, as if he wanted to make sure he got all of her taste. And I could see him smile warmly at her, right before he leaned back in to connect their mouths once more. This sight… it burned.
I didn’t wait for him. Because I had been wrong before. My heart wasn’t truly broken until that moment, witnessing the man I loved with my everything, kissing a woman who wasn’t me. And if he wasn’t going to leave me, if he was just going to keep me close and allow my heart to shatter over and over again, then I supposed I would have to be the one to go first.
So that’s what I did. I walked back to the entryway, slid on my jacket, picked up my bag, and left the house. Left, to never come back to Harry Styles.

Keep reading

miscellaneous tips for your first year of college/university:

academics

- try as much as possible to avoid 8 am classes. you could do it in high school, but trust me when I say you don’t want them in college. (but also realize that sometimes you have to take them if you want to graduate on time, especially if the classes are only offered during a certain time.)

- go to office hours. go to office hours. for the love of god, go to office hours. you want to be on good terms with the professors, especially those in your major department because chances are you’ll be in their class more than once and you’ll need a letter of rec from them.

- but if you’re trying to raise your grade, kiss up to the TA (teacher’s assistant). they’re the ones that are in charge of your grade, not the professor. they know you better because of the smaller class sizes and they’ll know how much work you’re really putting into the class.

- it’s quite possible the pull off writing a 5-7 page paper the night before it’s due and still get a good grade on it if you know the material well.

- address emails to the professor with “Hello Professor, …”, include the class you’re in, and conclude with your name and student ID number. be professional and keep in mind that the professor lectures to hundreds of students.

- bring a cold bottle of water to morning lectures and drink from it if you feel like falling asleep. the cold will keep you up (and it’s healthier and cheaper than coffee).

- library floors get quieter the higher you move up.

- if you want to take adderall, don’t start with a large dose. start with 10mg, see how you handle it, and go from there. adderall can be dangerous if you OD. some side effects of adderall include trouble falling asleep and loss of appetite.

- it’s in your best interests not to plagiarize. properly cite all the sources you use. maybe you got away with it in high school, but that shit won’t fly in college.

- study groups are only helpful and beneficial to you if everyone in that group has something to contribute.

- self control, momentum, and evernote are great productivity apps for your mac.

dorm life

- tide pods for laundry is so much easier than lugging down a bottle of detergent and a separate bottle of softener and then having to measure them out.

- if you’ve already washed your colored clothes at least once, you don’t need to separate lights from darks. just remember to use cold water. (I myself am a lazy fuck and I don’t sort my laundry at all. my clothes are fine.)

- ask your RA to get a clock radio for the bathroom (if it’s communal) so music can drown out the sound of the person taking a shit in the stall next to you.

- don’t be afraid to speak up if your roommate does something that is annoying you. approach them in a friendly way (chances are, they didn’t even notice it was bothering you) so that they’ll give you the same courtesy. communication is key.

- you don’t have to be friends with your roommate. you just have to live with them. don’t try and force a friendship if it clearly isn’t working.

- don’t be that asshole that hits their snooze button 10 times so their alarm goes off repeatedly.

- instant noodles = life.

- bring tupperware and hide it in your backpack so you can sneak food out of the dining commons.

partying

- don’t go to parties if you don’t like them.

- don’t drink any hard liquor that comes from a plastic handle.

- you should not be with friends that try to convince you to violate your morals.

- conversely, you should also not be with friends that judge you if you don’t share their morals.

- always. use. the. buddy. system.

- if someone passes out/falls asleep, lay them on their side, not their back. that way, if they throw up, they won’t choke.

- if you get to the point where you need an ambulance because of all of the drugs/alcohol you ingested, tell the medic the truth about the substances you took. they’re not interested in putting you in jail; they’re just trying to save your fucking life. (I can personally attest to this.)

- make sure the change your privacy settings on facebook if you don’t want your family seeing pictures of you with alcohol in the background, dressed promiscuously, etc. some friends don’t ask before putting up/tagging you in pictures.

sex

- to someone that has never had sex, it seems like everyone is having sex all the time and that’s all that matters, but trust me when I say that’s the furthest thing from the truth. don’t let the pressure get to you.

- use condoms even if you’re on birth control to protect from STDs.

- try to take a sex ed/human sexuality class. (the one I took was offered through the sociology department.) in universities as opposed to high school, the sex ed is more comprehensive, usually covers queer relationships (mine did), and does not teach from an abstinence-only POV. they’re very helpful even for those who have had a lot of experience.

- don’t expect people you hook up with at parties to be anything more than that - hookups.

- abstaining from sex doesn’t make you any better than someone who fucks a new person every weekend and being sexually active doesn’t make you “cooler” and someone who has never had sex. remember that.

- don’t use flavored condoms for penetrative sex; you could get a yeast infection. flavored condoms are meant for oral sex only.

- speaking of condoms, it’s really easy to get them for free. student health hands them
out like candy the first couple weeks of school.

- get tested first if you and your partner want to have unprotected sex. seriously.

free free to message me any more questions you might have about college/uni. I’d be happy to help/share from my personal experience or elaborate on anything I’ve said here. reblog and add more tips if you have them; I’m sure i haven’t thought of everything. have a great upcoming school year, freshmen!

Orange Tulips (M)

Originally posted by kookiefly

=> Jeon Jungkook. Soulmate!AU. Reincarnation!AU 

Summary: You’d remember Jungkook with every life you lived. Only he’d never remember you, never recall how your fates were written in the stars since the beginning of time.

Genre: Angst. Fluff. Light Smut

Words: 10,294

a/n: This is a roller coaster of emotions, but it has a happy endng because I’m a sap and didn’t want to make myself cry.


He came to you like a breath of fresh air, cleansing your body and bringing life to your bones. He was the type of art that only existed on grainy canvases of white, beautiful colors blending together to form a perfection to your eyes. He was the smell of fresh rain on a summers afternoon, peculiar and satisfying mixed into nothing other than complete and utter fondness on your part.

He was your other half.

He just didn’t know it.

Keep reading

Some Tips On Organic Chemistry
  1. When you’re looking at two compounds and wondering how they may react, pay attention to the carbons - if they are bonded to a halogen or something more electronegative than them, then they have a partial positive charge and they’re going to want anything that will give them more electrons (a.k.a. a nucleophillic attack). If they’re bonded to hydrogen, they have a partial negative charge and they become your nucleophile, which will want to give those electrons to something that’s lacking them. Once you get these basics down, mechanisms become much easier to memorize because you can see the logic in them and sometimes predict them.

  2. Get the basic mechanisms ingrained in your brain. Think of SN1, SN2, E1 and E2 as your new multiplication table. Make flashcards about them and take them to class. Or put them at the back or front of your notebook. Just have them handy at all times.

  3. Draw the final steps in 3D. ALWAYS. You can draw the mechanisms and the first steps in 2D because it will make it easier to understand, but never forget that you’re working with a 3D structure that can flipped (and attacked by nucleophiles) every which way. Also, if you don’t know the basic perspectives used in orgo (Fischer, Newmans, sawhorse, wedge-dash) please take half an hour to learn them. Mainly wedge-dash and Fischer, but Newman is very useful when deciding which position you should put your atoms in if you’re dealing with sin and anti.

  4. Colors. If you’re one of those people who ONLY writes in black pen, awesome, keep using it for WRITING. For reactions though, you’re going to want options. you’ll need to differentiate between:

    • The molecules (same color for atoms and bonds, unless you want to finish your notes on your deathbed).
    • Your three types of arrows: electron flow, actual steps in the reaction (think intermediates) and steps you may take to make it clearer for you but that happen at the same time.
    • Formal charges
    • The electrons that stay with its original atom and the ones that are given/shared, if you’re like me and you like your mechanisms to be spelled out.
    • This is not an excuse to go nuts with the coloring, 3 colors are enough. Personally, I use purple for molecules, electrons and reaction arrows, black for electron flow arrows and charges and light blue for clarification step arrows. Also optional but to denote a homolytic fission I usually write a blue line perpendicular to the bond. Similarly, if two atoms share one electron each, instead of just one them donating both electrons, I link said electrons with blue.
    • Remember to be consistent, otherwise you’ll end up like me, looking at your notes from the beginning of the semester and wondering if that dash is a bond or a -1 formal charge (to avoid this, preferably circle formal charges. Lol I never do this but I should).
  5. Flashcards are so helpful! Write the reactants on one side and the mecanism and products on the other. Test yourself until you are one with the electrons.

  6. If it’s a concerted mechanism, number the arrows. You’ll thank yourself a month from now.

  7. Khanacademy. Khanacademy will save your butt when it comes to mechanisms. Chemwiki is likely to have anything that Khanacademy doesn’t. If it isn’t in either of those, Google images just became your new best friend. Books also tend to explain those nicely but I personally find them to be poorly structured and they usually include much more info than what you’ll actually be requiered to know. If you have the time to read two pages on a reaction though, by all means go for it.

  8. Study in advance. Good luck studying for your final two days before if you don’t understand the mechanisms and you don’t have your material organized. Seriously, don’t do it. A week before the exam you could make those flashcards mentioned above. They’re a great way to review but it will be impossible if you are learning these things from scratch.

  9. Get your hands on past tests. This goes for any subject but especially for orgo. Try to get a past test or at least ask an upper-classman who’s taken orgo with that professor. Does his/her tests focus on mechanisms? Retrosynthesis? Or does he/she give you the reactants and ask what the product is or what environment they should be in to obtain x? Ideally, you should be able to answer any of these if you know the material. However, if they focus on retrosynthesis, it may be a little tricky, so make sure to cater your study techniques to that.

  10. You should also check out @colllegeruled’s Surviving Organic Chemistry, it’s super helpful and it has lots of resources (seriously, you introduced me to Khanacademy, I OWE YOU MY LIFE).

So, this is what I can offer so far. I hope it shines at least a faint light into the dark path that is organic chemistry.

Other masterposts

Do you want to play with us?

Originally posted by litourgiya

Pairing: IvarxReaderxHvitserk
Rating: Explicit
Words: 8587
Tagging: @inthenameofodin @tiyetiye @rockyrascal

Warning: Smut, dom/sub dynamic, cursing, hair pulling, rough sex, spitting, spanking, orgasm denial/delayed. (I suck with warning tags so if you think one needs to be added, please tell me.)

Notes: My first threesome and let me tell you it was hard to write! First time writing Hvitserk too, I hope it went well. Sorry for the length, I don’t know how this monstrosity ended with so many words but I hope it’s worth it. Thank you for your advice concerning it. Ivar and Hvitserk love each other in this (take notes Hirst). Again, sorry for any mistakes! Enjoy, sisters! 


King Ivar and his great army advanced through England quite easily, pillaging and killing every single person that stood on their way. Today was a great day for the King; he had won the ultimate battle that raged for almost four months. He had slaughtered the entire royal family without a second thought and had taken the praised crown of York. Soon, the news would spread, giving Ivar the fame he craved, the fame he deserved. For he was the most brutal yet the most worthy man you ever met. The kind of man you dreamt of but never could admit it out loud. It didn’t help that he was unfairly attractive. So attractive that even Balder, the most beautiful god in Asgard, would be jealous. 

You tried to fight the attraction you had for him but you couldn’t fight the feelings you felt in his presence. You couldn’t deny the wetness between your legs every time he roared one of his clever speeches, perched proudly upon his throne or his chariot. You couldn’t deny the dreams you had. Him above you, taking whatever he wanted from your willing and helpless body.

Keep reading

Guardian Angel - Hoseok soulmate AU- One shot

This turned out a lot differently then i expected 

Genre: fluff and a little angst

word count: 1523


When you are born your soulmate’s initials will be written on your wrist. But when you were really young a line appeared through your the initials, signalling that your soulmate had died.

But you were so young you didn’t understand this. But every time you look in the mirror you see a boy as well, one who has grown with you. It’s your soulmate- J.H

Originally posted by myloveseokjin


Age 3

My earliest memory was my mother crying. At the time i didn’t understand why. But I remember feeling a sharp pain in my wrist, So I went to show her. I still remember the look of horror in her eyes. She pulled me into her lap and cradled me. That’s when she began to cry, rocking me back and forth saying I’m so sorry y/n over and over again.

Age 4

It was my 4th birthday party, everyone had left. I was still getting sad looks but didn’t understand why. I got continuous I’m so sorry and oh you poor thing. At the time is still had no idea what they were talking about. All i knew was that the two letters on my wrist had a dark line through them. And i remember the sadness i felt looking at them, even though i didn’t know why.

Age 6

That’s the first time i saw him. My mom was doing my hair for school. And there he was, black hair, big eyes, bright smile. He was looking at me through the mirror and waved. Without hesitation i waved back. My mother narrowed her eyes and said “Y/n why are you waving at yourself?” i remember him giggling as i said “i don’t know i was bored.” she had raised an eyebrow but continued brushing my hair.

Age 9

I remember was alone in my room, watching cartoons and coloring in a notebook. ‘Hey Y/N!” i remember jumping and looking around. That’s when i spotted the boy in my mirror again. The only difference was he seemed a year or two older than me. He was the same boy from when i was littler.

“You can talk?” he looked at me and nodded, ‘Of course! But you are the only one who can hear me! Would you like me to explain?” I remember still being surprised but nodding.

“Well, the world is full of soulmates, you know that much right?i nodded.Well i’m your soulmate, but you see when i was little, i got really sick and died.” i remember my eyes widening at that i still feel all the emotions of that day ten years later.

“So” he continued. “That’s why you have a line through my initials. But don’t worry i still have yours!” i smiled at him. Unaware of what this sad feeling in my heart was. I was only 9 years old when i had my heart broken.

Age 14

I spent hours every staring in the mirror talking to Hoseok. I never told him how sad I was that he couldn’t be with me, I didn’t want him to feel bad. He couldn’t have controlled what happen to him.

So what is the after life like? He pondered that question for a moment before responding well I haven’t gone there yet, I was set to be your guardian angel, until you pass away one day too. Then I’ll go to the afterlife.

Age 17 turning 18

Happy birthday baby! I laughed at him thank you  it was nice that I could still have a relationship with him. But I wished he was here physically. I longed to hold his hand, to hug him, to kiss him.

It was my senior year of high school. I would be graduating in a few months. I never had a boyfriend, they all had their soulmate. Hobi had continuously told me that if I find someone who is in the same situation I’m in, and I have feelings for, go for it. He said he wants me to be happy. I told him with any luck I would never find someone like that. Little did I know.

Age 19 present day

Aww y/n you look gorgeous! I was finishing curling my hair and Hoseok was sitting on the bed behind me. At least that’s what it looked like in my mirror. God how I wished I could turn around and he would actually be there.

Thank you babe, I wish you were here with me ya know. I wish for that so much. His face softened and a sad smile crept up on his features. I wish I was with you too y/n, I am happy being with you this way and I want no need you to be happy. I nodded and gave him a sad smile.

I just wish you could be here Hoseok. I wiped away the tears slipping down my face. I wish I could be there to wipe your tears y/n. This wasn’t something that happens often, it’s just at times my sorrow was too much to bare.I continued to get ready, Hoseok distracting  me from my sadness with funny faces and jokes. I finished getting ready and placed

A soft kiss on the mirror. I’ll see when I’m home. He nodded and I left.


Today I was going down to my favorite cafe to meet up with a friend I had met online. His name was Yoongi, we aspired to be a rapper and we bonded over music. A passion of mine.

I made it down to the cafe at 10, we agreed on meeting at 10:15, I preferred to be early. I picked a table in the corner next to the window. There just so happened to be a window next to me and i smiled as I saw Hoseok.

At 10:20 Yoongi came walking through the doors. I knew it was him due to our Skype calls. I waved him in my direction and he smiled before heading over.  He took the seat in front of me and smiled nice to finally meet you in person Y/N. i nodded and smiled extending my hand to shake his.

It was a formal gesture i never really used, i just had an odd feeling i should. Our hands clasped and that’s when i noticed it. The initials on his wrist had a line through them, just like mine. He seemed to notice mine as well. Because we were both silently looking at each other’s wrists until a waitress came over to greet us.

We were both pulled from our thoughts by her words “Hey! What can i get you two?” we both quickly ordered and watched her retreat behind the counter before making eye contact again. “ Your soulmate died too?” he nodded slowly “yeah, i never met them, they died when i was little.”

My eyes widened at that “mine too! Hey odd question but do you maybe still see her when you look in a..” at the same time we said “mirror.” he nodded frantically “Yes, and i can talk to her, she is sitting right there.” he pointed to the mirror where i saw Hoseok sitting, but he was conversing with someone i couldn’t see. I looked back at Yoongi and smiled. “So i’m not the only one it seems.” he nodded at that.

We spent the next 3 hours laughing and sharing our experiences. And without realizing we had begun flirting with each other. It was a little after 1 in the afternoon when we left the cafe. “Shall we go somewhere else?” i smiled at his question “Would you like to go to the pier?” he smiled “If it means spending more time with you then of course.”


We went to the pier and spent the rest of the day taking, eating food, and playing the carnival games. And finally the sun was beginning to set. “Y/n do you want to go on the ferris wheel? It will have a gorgeous view of the sun set.” i smiled “that sounds wonderful Yoongi.”

We got onto the Ferris wheel and it began its ascent up. We sat in silence watching the sun slowly set. I could see Hoseok in the window reflection and he had the biggest smile on his face. I chuckled as he gave me a thumbs up.

The Ferris wheel stopped at the top and that’s when it happened. “Hey y/n look here for a second.” i turned my head and was surprised as Yoongi pressed his lips to mine. I was surprised, both by the suddenness and how right it felt.

I melted into the kiss, he was so warm and soft, and tasted like the ice cream we had earlier. My very first kiss. The ferris wheel began to move once more and he pulled away. A bright blush staining his and my cheeks. “That was my first kiss” we said this simultaneously and chuckled.

Before we could say anything else i felt an odd tingling on the wrist opposite to the one with Hoseok’s initials. I looked down at my wrist and to my shock, two initials were written there. M.Y Min Yoongi. My head shot up and i looked to see my initials written on Yoongi’s wrist as well. “How is this even possible?” i looked up at the window to see Hoseok with the biggest smile on his face and he nodded at me with a wink.

“Let’s not question it.” and with that i finally felt at peace.   


let me know if you would like an Epilogue! 

Count Your Lucky Stars

So this is a short Langst idea that came to me in a dream. It is very loosely based on and inspired by this post. There’s going to be two alternative endings to go with it. Both up by Monday (hopefully). Anyways hope you enjoy :D


What. The. Hell. That’s all they could seem to think as they realized they left Lance behind. How could they be so stupid? The Blue Lion had returned with a cockpit full of prisoners, so why wasn’t her paladin flying her. When they questioned the prisoners to find out his location all it did was increase their worries. He was still stuck on the Galra ship. You know, the one they had already wormhole away from.

“Oh, this is bad. This is really, really bad,” Hunk said as he begun pacing the infirmary after they delivered the rescued prisoners to the healing pods.

“Calm down buddy. We’re all worried about Lance right now. He’ll be fine.” Shiro was trying to soothe Hunk, but his words weren’t even working on himself. He of all people knew the horrors of being a captive of the Galra. He could only hope they wouldn’t put Lance to fight in the rings, not that their interrogation methods were much better.

“Lance is a quick thinker; he’ll find a way to keep himself safe until we find him. We just need to have faith.” Coran’s words were a little more encouraging, but there was still a problem.

“Exactly how long will that be exactly? None of us are in the condition to go back and fight, and who’s to say they’ll even be in the same system or have him on the same ship when we’re finally ready. I’ve already lost one brother to the Galra, I’m not about to lose another,” Pidge declared.

“I say we go back whether we’re physically ready or not. Pidge is right if we don’t go back now who knows when we’ll find him again. Not only does staying here extends the time he’s with the Galra, but it also leaves us down one paladin and unable to form Voltron.“ Keith was so mad at himself right now. He shouldn’t have listened when Lance told him to go on without him. That idiot was always sacrificing himself for others. He should’ve told Lance no, and stay to fight with him. 

“Paladins I know you’re all worried, as am I. But we should consider the passengers we have on board. What if we go back and something goes wrong? We’ll be essentially handing them back over to the Galra after they just got a taste of freedom. Keith, I understand your point about Voltron, but like Pidge said, none of you are in the condition to fight right now. It’s better one Paladin than all five of you.”

Allura knew she must’ve sounded heartless now, but she felt she was making the right choice. As the leader, she must make the correct decisions, even if it’s not the popular one. The looks her crew was giving her proved that her choice was not the popular one indeed. Allura was only considering what was best for everyone that was here at the time. She wasn’t going to send them into another heavy battle injured and tired.

“You know princess, I understand what you’re saying, but when you were captured by the Galra a while back, Lance was ready to go get you, guns blazing. I guess I just supposed you’d do the same for him,” Hunk stated dejectedly. He turned to head out of the room, Pidge, and Keith on his heels. 

None of them wanted to play the waiting game right now, but it’s all they can do. She doesn’t take Hunk’s words too personally because she understands he’s coming from a place of hurt. She wants nothing more than to go in “guns blazing”, as Hunk called it, to go rescue Lance. But that would be thinking like a friend, not a leader and certainly not a princess. With Coran on their side, it should take too long for the castle and everyone on it to be battle ready once more. 

It took a week. And with every day that passed, the more tensed and worried everyone got. The prisoners the rescued were fully healed and sent back to their home planets or somewhere safer, and the castle was back at full operating power. Unfortunately, like most of them feared they had lost track of Lance. Pidge had her tech set to alert her to any transmissions that even slightly mentioned the blue paladin. Allura had sent word to their allies to keep an eye out, and the Blade of Marmora had their inside people looking out. They just have to play the waiting game a little longer.

Lance’s absence seemed to affect Hunk the most until eventually, he started spending time in Lance’s room. No one thought anything about it until one day he came to the common room crying. 

“Guys, what if we find Lance and he doesn’t want to come back? What if they took him to Prince Lotor and he chooses to stay with him?”

“Hunk what are you talking about? Why would Lance want to stay with the Galra of all people,” Keith asked.

They didn’t receive an answer. Hunk just motioned for them to follow him as he leads them to Lance’s room. It was cleaner than they expected, but they suppose Hunk may have had something to do with that. The bed was unmade as evidence that Hunk was more than likely sleeping in here too. He stopped right in front of Lance’s desks where there were some scraps of papers as well as two jars. One was labeled “The Good” and had about two handfuls of colorful stars. The other was labeled “The Bad” and was nearly overflowing with black stars.

Shiro remembered this tradition from his childhood, but it appeared that Lance had a different way of doing things. He doesn’t understand why this would make Hunk think Lance doesn’t want to come back. Shiro picked up a purple star from the good jar and started to unfold it. And that’s why we bring our sharpshooter. -S

He remembered that moment. Lance had made an incredible, almost impossible, shot, and Shiro felt so proud at that moment. Not thinking anything much of it, he picked a star from “the bad” jar and unfold it. You are the worst pilot ever! -K

It was then Shiro got an idea where this was heading. He kept opening more of the black star and some of the things on them shocked him.

I hope I don’t need to remind you that the only reason you’re here is that the best pilot in your class had a discipline issue and flunked out. Don’t follow in his footsteps. -I

Aw, Lance, you just ruined it. -H

He’d be Sendak’s prisoner right now, if not for Pidge. -A

Well, you wouldn’t have survived the explosion if Hunk and Coran hadn’t gotten a new Crystal. -P

I’m taking Keith with me. -S

Shiro realized that these were all things they said that hurt Lance in some way. It also suddenly came back that none of them had told Lance thank you for that time Sendak almost took the castle. He’s sure at some point Coran did, but no one else. Not for waking up and shooting Sendak’s arm off, or anything else he did for them for that matter. They were always just distracted by Lance’s boisterous personality, they never considered how they spoke to him. And the jar was so full, who knew what other things were said that affected him negatively.

At this point, the others began reading the unfolded stars and were probably reaching the same conclusion as Shiro did. Hunk’s concern made sense as he unwrapped the colorful stars and realized most of them were things Lotor said. He probably realized the Blue Paladin’s insecurities and used them to his advantage. When were the two even alone enough for these things to be said?

If Lance didn’t come back they’d have no one to blame but themselves. They pushed him away with their words. They basically handed Lance over to the Galra.


Main Story/ Ending 1/ Ending 2

Under-appreciated Fics Rec

For @dailyvicturi ! Good luck with your new endeavors!

Every fic here currently sits at 5k words or under, and under 500 kudos. Please read and support them!

These Two.  (1.5k words)

Yuuri and Victor can’t stop thinking bout each other long enough to give the journalists the answers to their questions.

Everybody Loves Me (5k words)

Viktor is the CEO of a powerful company. Yuuri is a worker in a coffee shop. Viktor can’t live without coffee

Collab With Me? (4k words) (WIP)

After Phichit posts a video of Yuuri watching Viktor Nikiforov’s latest video, one thing leads to another and suddenly Viktor’s flying to Detroit to do a collaboration with Yuuri.

Viktor, of course, is excited to get to know and befriend the beautiful vlogger he saw online and quickly became infatuated with. Yuuri’s freaking out because THE Viktor Nikiforov - one of the most successful YouTubers in the world - is talking to him and he has no idea what he’s doing (of course, he’s secretly just as excited as Viktor himself)

aka the YouTube AU where Yuuri’s a cinnamon roll and Viktor loves him for it

When I’m Sixty Four (2k words)

AU. These days, Victor and Yuuri are content living together in the peaceful home they made in St. Petersburg. But even after thirty four years, Victor still manages to surprise Yuuri. And who knew Yuuri still had moves left in him?

(Victuuri Week 2017 Day 8: Valentine’s Day)

I Like You (2k words)

Yuuri’s friends pressure him to confess to his long time crush, Victor. But, Victor beats him to it!

Basically a lot of fluff about them being third years in high school.

When The Tides Turn (3k words)

Victor, despite being a legendary skater and the world’s most eligible bachelor, has had horrible luck in the romance department. Yuuri’s never even been on a date. Chris and Phichit decide to set them up on a blind date in the hopes that luck may finally be in their favor.

Cursed Love (3k words)

“This blood of ours is cursed, Vitya,” Mama rasped, her blue eyes, identical to Victor’s own, pleading for him to understand. “The moment we fall romantically in love with someone, we curse them with death. The moment we realise what joy we have attained with another person, our curse will take them away from us, forever.”

Victor lives with the burden of a family curse over his head, running away from any opportunity to love, fearing that any affection will lead him to the heartbreak that consumed his entire family. But Yuuri Katsuki had captured his attention, his every thought, and Victor has no idea what this warm feeling attached to the mere thought of Yuuri was.

Victuuri Week Day 4: Free for all

Remembrance (3k words)

Victor remembers the confusion, hurt and rejection when he finds the empty hotel room that had once been occupied by an individual bearing the name of Katsuki Yuri hours ago, and said individual was now en route to Japan. He remembers sinking to the carpeted floor in his pajamas before returning to his own room to curl up in his comforter. He remembers Yakov coming over to help him pack with pity evident in his eyes when the check out time had long past and Victor was nowhere to be found. And all Victor could do was lie immobile on the bed with tears he thought would never end. He remembered lecturing his own self mentally, that it was ridiculous to act this way for someone you had only met once, but yet, he could not deny the fact that last night was the first time Victor had felt honestly living, relieved from the burdens and expectations as a renowned and international ice skater. Being with Yuri had felt absolutely right.

or a fic of how a heartbroken Victor had fared since that banquet and how he finally won Yuri’s heart

Ends and Beginnings (3k words)

When Yuuri told Victor he wanted to “end this”, Victor’s heart was broken.

Somewhere I Have Never Travelled (4k words) (WIP)

Victor is a specter, a killer, a myth, a machine trying to be a man.

(Victor falls in love with Yuuri—beautiful and out-of-nowhere, like the impractical black of his Aston Martin amidst the sea of tourists and locals in the streets of Barcelona. Yuuri falls in love with Victor like the slow bloom of a flower in spring in the middle of bustling Tokyo, tended and taken care of.)

Words and Worth (1k words)

Viktor overhears some fans saying not-nice things about Yuuri. It makes him angry.

Breathe In, Breathe Out (3k words)

Yuuri was never one to talk to people about his feelings- or his anxiety for that matter. He always hid away in his bathroom when the attacks came, but this time he has a panic attack on the ice and Viktor must step up to take care of him.

Moonrise (Royalty AU) (5k words)

couple o’ fics about yuuri + victor as princes.

Fall a Little Faster (3k words) (WIP)

If asked the question, “What are you most afraid of?”, Victor always has the same answer: “Falling in love.”

Most people take that answer as confirmation of his playboy nature or his phobia for commitment. Which is not true at all.

Then again, it isn’t like he can casually say, “A curse will kill me and my lover if I do” like it’s no big deal.

Victor has a curse so he sets an impossible set of expectations for his true love to make sure he never falls in love.

Then, he meets Yuuri Katsuki and somehow, the impossible doesn’t seem too impossible anymore.

You Can’t Order a Latte on the Rocks (2k words) (WIP)

Yuuri Katsuki is a twenty year-old dance major, working part-time at a coffee shop. Victor Nikiforov is a world-famous figure skater, who happens to enjoy coffee. Yuri Plisetsky happens to think they’re both gross, and is just there for the caffeine and to watch as the two of them quickly become one another’s inspiration. [coffee shop!au]

Old but Gold (5k words) (WIP)

“Hey Yuuri.”

“Hm..?”

“Do you know why ancient Spartans used to wear red in battle?”

A history quiz by your long-time lover you haven’t seen in a month? Totally fitting the mood.

“Uhh.. They wanted to conceal any possible injuries from the enemies while in combat, right? So the blood wouldn’t show and give the enemy any hope.”

Victor hummed suddenly looking all smug and proud.
“Yeah that’s what they wanted you to believe, but the truth is my favorite color used to be red at the time and their general was my friend.”

Was this man really trying to show off. By bragging about minor historical facts he had participated in?
Wait was that flirting?!

Aka the AU where both Victor and Yuuri are like really old vampires and while their first meeting was hundreds of years ago Victor remains the same dork Yuuri first met.

What Brings Me to You (4k words)

Viktor Nikiforov’s new apartment is haunted—he’s less bothered by this than you’d expect.

Painting a Portrait of Love (3k words) (WIP)

Foreign Politics where never King Viktor’s strong suit. Sure, he was nice and everyone loved him, but say one bad thing and it was all over. Looks like King Phichit of Thailand can experience this first hand. King Viktor is supposed to visit Thailand to follow with war proceedings, but it seems Phichit’s butler is a little bit of a distraction. Or a big one. Funny, wasn’t he here to start war? Oh well, might as well have fun while he’s here. (Monarch AU! King!Viktor, Butler!Yuuri!, and Heir to the Throne!Yuri!)

Soon a Happy Ending (2k words) (WIP)

Once upon a time, oh so very long ago

Would you like to hear a story, little one? The sun’s almost set, but I think we still have time.

Life After You (1k words)

Viktor wakes up and realizes his year with Yuuri has been all a dream.

sugar ❖ sehun

“You weren’t good at describing things, but if someone asked you what Mina’s dad looked like, you would have probably said ‘a first love’.”

admin : - velvet
genre : fluff, smut (in later parts), pretty huge age gap, kinda daddyish, ceo!sehun, angst

(gif not mine, cr to the owner)

| Part 2


No way❞ you mumbled as you checked your phone again. The place where you were smelled like fried food and strawberry milkshake, your best friend Mina was playing a game on her phone as she drank her iced peach tea down, the music playing in the background was some Halsey thing that you already heard, but weren’t quite sure of the title. The light in that cafe were neon pinkish and everything felt kind of fake, from the plants to the smiles on the waitresses faces.

If you just stop for a second❞ Mina mumbled taking her eyes away from her cellphone and looking at you. You snapped your head at her, taking your eyes from your phone too and giving her an exasperated expression.

It’s been all day that you were looking at the screen of your phone, watching as the package you bought from China was moving to an inhuman slow speed, making you grow anxious. Mina have tried to explain to you that packages from China were one of the most slow to arrive, but you couldn’t tear your guard down, what if it gets lost? You spent all the money your father gave you for that pack.

Mina gave you one of the most irritated gaze you’ve ever seen her wearing and you finally relaxed a little. ❝I’m sorry❞ you whispered blocking your phone and tossing it to the side of the table, away from your eyes.

She smiled at you, happy that she succeeded at her work as your best friend and finally you both looked at each other in the eyes, no internet or screens in between.

Since we have a test on Monday,❞ she started grabbing her straw and playing with it around her now empty glass of iced tea ❝I thought that you could maybe help me out

You raised a brow in front of her request, knowing that she didn’t need your help for the science test that you would have had that Monday. She was going to graduate in science in some years, so you probably needed her help more than her yours.

You were taking history, but still had to take the science courses too, just in case.

Y/N❞ she whined gripping your right hand that laid on the table till that moment ❝I’m begging you, I’m alone at home with my dad and it’s the first time in ages that this happens, if I stay around that would be so awkward I can already make my grave

You chuckled and tightened the hold on her hands before she let your go. ❝He can’t be that bad❞ you tried. You never really met her father, just Mina’s mom which used to come take her from uni when her car broke down.

He’s your dad anyway

Mina has always been your best friend, you went to each other’s houses countless times, she met your parents before you went to live alone, but you never really met hers. She told you that both were always busy till late with works and you knew it was true, because her mom used to pick her up at half past nine, hours after the last class, but she always talked sweet things about her parents. She told you that her mother was one of the sweetest person on this world, she always cared about her, always managed to send her messages asking if she needed anything or just asking how her day have been, as for her dad, Mina always told you that he was okay.

Mr Oh was an inveterate smoker who liked to dress in black, he liked sweet scents, sport cars and never came home before midnight. She was pretty sure her parents didn’t love each others anymore, so she always tried and stay with her mother.

I know he’s my dad❞ Mina rolled her eyes backing against the backrest of the red little couch of the cafe. ❝But he’s weird and I hate him

With a sigh you picked your phone again, almost returning to the tracking site, but you stopped yourself. Maybe spending a little time with Mina, studying for the test, might actually help you.

You sighed and stood up. ❝Okay, let’s go. I’ll help you with your dad and you’ll help me not thinking about that damn pack. Is that even normal that it takes so much to arrive in South Korea from China?

Jesus, Y/N. You’re such a pain in the ass

Thirty minutes later, after you paid your meals and she drove you to her house, you finally could get out of her car and stretch your legs.

Remind me why you live this far from the city?❞ you groaned loosening your muscles.

I don’t know, I guess ‘cause my dad is rich and needs to have a big ass house where he doesn’t even live in❞ she remarked locking her car and walking to the entrance door.

You freezed at the hate in her words, she must really hate that man, but how can you hate a person who has your same blood running through his veins?

You followed her up the two steps and then in the house, she dropped her bag and her shoes on the floor and you did the same with your shoes. The house was as silent as always, no people anywhere near, the usual smell of disinfectant that the cleaning woman uses, the light were off and there were no sounds.

Not to be rude❞ you started in a whisper, clenching to Mina’s arm for your own good ❝but your house is always creepy as fuck❞ you murmured.

Why are you whispering?❞ she laughed dragging you to the living room. You didn’t even know why you were whispering to be honest, it just felt wrong to talk aloud when everything was peaceful and silent. Not to forget that his dad was somewhere in the house, maybe sleeping, maybe working and maybe your voice could have sounded disturbing.

When you thought of Mina’s dad somewhere in the house, you surely didn’t thought of him there, right in front of you. He was leaning over the wooden little table where you and Mina used to study, what looked like work papers scattered over it.

Dad -❞ Mina choked, Mr Oh’s face shot up, his eyes looked over you two. You felt sick, he was one of the most beautiful beings you have ever seen in your life, you weren’t good at describing things, but if someone asked you what Mina’s dad looked like, you would have probably said ‘a first love’.

A first love, Mr Oh looked like every little girl’s first love, the man who was too old to be attracted to, but still, they felt something for him. It was his plump little lips, or maybe his deep-cutting jaw, maybe it was his pale face or maybe the way his eyes bored under your skin. But Mr Oh definitely looked like a first love.

Mina❞ he called looking at her, his eyes hard, just like when they were on you. He looked ethereal, but still today, when you think about your first encounter, Oh Sehun was one of the most cold people on this planet.

Mina huffed a little, lacing her arm around your shoulders, pushing you a little forward.

Hi dad, we’re here to study. This is my best friend Y/N, Y/N this is my dad Oh Se Hun❞ she talked like a robot and it almost made you laugh, if it wasn’t for her dad’s gaze on you.

You quickly bowed under his judgmental stare. ❝Nice to meet you, sir❞ you choked out trying not to blush too much, but it was almost impossible. His eyes softened against your figure.

That was the first time Oh Sehun looked at you like you were the most precious person on the world, and thinking about it today you remember the butterflies you felt.

Nice to meet you, Y/N❞ he forced a smile and then got up, placing all his papers together ❝then I’m going to leave you girls alone❞ he mumbled picking his work and walking out of the room. You waited for his eyes to go on his daughter while leaving, but he kept his gaze ahead, too afraid to look at her, but too strong to admit defeat on their relationship.

It was sad knowing that a father-daughter relationship was broken thanks to his work, almost as if he cared more about money than his own meat happiness.

When Mr Oh went out of the living room, Mina plopped on her butt, sitting at the side of the low table, her back resting on the feet of the couch.

Let’s study before you start with that tracking thing again

You felt the hurt in her words, almost as if showing her non-existent love with her dad in front of her best friend was shameful. You tried not to think about how hurt she was and sit next to her.

You better start explaining me that topic that Mrs Kim explained last week, ‘cause I know nothing

After an hour of studying, Mina was asleep with her head against the seat of the sofa and you stood up, going to the kitchen. She started talking, but at the end you were explaining her some things about the biology class that you didn’t even take. You needed water and you knew her house, so you walked to the kitchen, hoping not to find the cleaning woman and, when you entered, you started searching for a glass and the bottle of water.

You didn’t know how you didn’t hear the steps, but when you turned around with the bottle of cold water that you just took from the fridge, you almost had an heart attack.

Mr Oh was seated in the kitchen, his papers all over the clean counter and a confused expression on his face.

You❞ he started pointing his long index toward your scared figure ❝managed to come into the kitchen,❞ he talked slowly, moving his hand to the door ❝do your things and you didn’t even noticed me the all time❞ he was surprised, his face still frowning, but his eyes as cold as ever.

Were you already here, sir?❞ you asked in a high pitched tone. He nodded and his hand gripped his own chin, resting it between his fingers. His eyes scanned you, watching as you stared at him in total shock.

How haven’t you noticed him? Is he… is he for real?

You bowed deeply, red color spreading over your cheeks. ❝I’m sorry, I didn’t mean to be disrespectful❞ you mumbled.

He shook his head, the ghost of a smile over his lips as he picked a pen and tapped its tip over a page.

You look very young❞ he murmured ❝Y/N, right?❞ he asked cocking his head a little, his eyes went all the way down your body.

He was the expression of handsome, you were sure that if you looked for the word ‘handsome’ he would have popped out next to the explanation. But the way he looked at you, that was not the way a married man with children looks at a girl. Perhaps, his daughter’s best friend.

So, how’s school going?❞ he asked with a soft smile on his lips, his eyes turning back to you, but they still were ice.

You gasped for an answer, not sure why he was asking your this, but it felt good having someone who actually cared about you.

Your parents were around the world after you went away for uni, so they didn’t really bother asking you about school or your well being.

You blinked a couple of times. ❝It’s… normal❞

He chuckled dryly shooting down his eyes. ❝I suck at having conversations❞ he explained biting his lip down hard. Something in your shivered, his lip painted red thanks to the pressure of his teeth looked soft and you almost wanted to suck it.

It’s fine, sir❞ you smiled trying to light up the stiff mood ❝I’m not very good, either

He sighed turning back to your face, your lips parted and the color of your cheeks satisfied him. ❝You’re so pretty, little Y/N. I wish you were older❞ he smiled.

That sentence left you speechless, his eyes fell right back on his papers and a scared Mina ran into the kitchen.

Oh my, you’re here❞ she panted resting a hand on the jamb of the door. ❝I thought you left

You bit your lip, trying to regain your composure and placed the water on the table behind you.

No, but I need to❞ you whispered still disoriented from what the man just told you. You were not going to lie to yourself, he was handsome and you felt shivers when you talked with him, but he was your best friend’s dad for God sake.

Oh, but. Can you wait some time? I have to do som -❞ Mina started, but his father’s voice cut her.

I’ll take her home❞ he said looking at you and standing up from his seat. You looked at your best friend who shrugged at you with a confused face.

If that’s okay for you, love❞ he whispered. You jumped a little noticing how close he now was. You hated it, but his warmth was something that your body craved.

This was wrong!

If it’s okay for you, sir

Call me Sehun❞ he smiled. His hand dropped to the small of your back and your skin never burned with such an intensity.

This man was ready to destroy you even before you were ready to welcome him in your life.


imma leave this here,, guys, please tell me what you think about this, so i can post the second part :3 ilyall
- velvet

Entanglement: Part 2

Entanglement: Part 2 

Paring: Namjoon x Jin x you

Word Count: 8.6k

genre/warning: smut, dirty talk, double penetration, dom!Jin, dom!Namjoon

Parts: one 

Originally posted by theseoks

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Finding Closure (Part 1)

Summary: AU. Reader left behind a hometown full of misery to make a new home in Brooklyn. A death in the family forces her to briefly return to the place that has haunted her dreams and memories for three years. Will she finally be able to move on, or will a figure from the past change everything?

Pairing: Bucky Barnes x reader

Word Count: 2,837

Warnings: angst, language, more angst, mention of alcoholism, mention of death, mention of funeral, mentions of neglect, mentions of estranged family members, heartache, sadness, mentions of sad childhood

A/N: This is the first part of my submission for the talented and wonderful @tatortot2701 ‘s AU writing challenge. (Tay, please disregard until it’s completed!) Y'all wanted angst, well…I took a fluffy prompt and darkened it. I tried not to but this story wouldn’t leave me alone. I’m not sure how many parts it will have.

My prompt was 28 .“____ is not a real word.” “Yes it is!”

Part:  1 - 2 -

Originally posted by brokenmichael

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[Naked Noises]

Ash’s Writing Challenge (3) - President Negan 

Negan x Female Reader  

A/N: oh gosh I’m super nervous to post this lol  I am actually really excited to participate in this challenge! The work I’ve read so far has been so so amazing, there’s a lot of wonderful talent in this fandom! – Thank you to the lovely @flames-bring-a-ton-of-ash for bringing us all together and inspiring us all to write & read such awesome works! xoxo : ) — FYI I’m not quite sure if my political facts are accurate I apologize in advance *I appreciate any & all feedback! hope you like it xx :) 

** NSFW/SMUT

(gifs by @vivienvalentino)

•••

Six long months of sacrifice finally paid off. 

After working excruciating hours at an internship that weeded out the rest, it left you as the last woman standing. Now, you were going to be working right under the most powerful man in the whole world. 

You had to admit, this job did not sound ideal in the beginning. In fact, you even questioned your own feminist beliefs for even entertaining the thought of serving a man. However, your ambition was driving you to see past the title of your position, reminding you that you were working deep in the roots of the White House. Only a few people will ever see this kind of power first hand, and you were one of them. You had the rare opportunity to make contacts and connections along the way; connections that will surely help your own political career one day. 

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My Love for You

Word Count: 1447

Summary: When Elena Gilbert walks in on you and your husband, Elijah Mikaelson having an intimate moment, Elijah relays a bit of your past and expresses to her his feelings for you.

Requested By: @badhippiehabits

Can you do an Elijah Mikaelson imagine? Where the reader and Elijah were together and married before he was turned and when he was turned she was turned too. And when Elijah and the reader go to help Elena with Klaus, Elena walks in on Elijah and the reader having a cute moment and when the reader is leaving she over hears Elena asking Elijah about their love and he gets all glossy eyes and tell her about their story and how their love will never die. Please and thank you❤️

Pairings: Reader x Elijah Mikaelson

Author’s Note: Sorry this took so long it’s my first request and I wanted it to be as perfect as I could possibly make it!

It was Elijah’s night to make dinner and as always the delectable scent of his cooking lured you downstairs and into the kitchen.

“Mm.” You said upon entering the kitchen. “I don’t know what you’re cooking but as usual it smells delicious!” You walked up behind him and wrapped your arms around his waist.

He chuckled. “Thank you, my sweet.”

You kissed his shoulder blade, spreading your hands along the strong, muscular planes of his chest. “I love you Elijah Mikaelson.”

He turned off the stove and spun around to face you. Taking either side of your face in his hands, he leaned down until your faces were mere inches apart. “I love you more, y/n”

“Impossible,” you smirked.

He wrapped his arms around you. You placed your hands on his chest. He leaned in further and kissed you. Slowly, your eyes closed and you wrapped your arms around his neck, bringing him closer.

That kiss was perfect. It could have gone on forever and neither one of you would have noticed. And then you heard it. A soft knock at the doorway.

You broke apart, startled. Elijah shoved you behind him. He tensed, barring his fangs ready to protect you from the world itself if necessary.

Elena, stood wide-eyed in the doorway of the kitchen.

Elijah relaxed his stance and began straightening his shirt collar. “Um, hello Elena.”

You dipped your head in greeting. “Elena.”

“Hi.” Elena said in a meek voice followed by a tiny wave.

You laughed breathily.

“How did you get in here?” Elijah asked, folding his arms across his chest.

Elena’s lips moved but no words came out.

A smile tugged at your lips. You wondered if it was Elijah making her nervous or if her own embarrassment had left her tongue-tied. Maybe both, you decided.

“Elena!” you exclaimed.  

“I knocked but no one answered!” she finally said. “And both of your cars were in the driveway so I figured that either you two were avoiding me or something terrible happened to you! I’m sorry! I don’t usually go barging into other people’s homes but I really, really need to talk to Elijah! So I tested the door…and it was unlocked…and then I found you guys…in here….kissing…”

When Elena finished she was nervously wringing her hands and looking down at her shoes like a child who’d gotten caught stealing cookies from the cookie jar. It was so adorable that you were nearly in tears trying to keep yourself from laughing.

Elijah cleared his throat awkwardly. “And what is that you need to speak to me about, Elena?”

The doppelganger sighed, throwing her hands in the air. “Klaus is up to his old tricks again.”

You and Elijah groaned in unison. You’d had enough of Klaus and ‘his old tricks’ to last you a lifetime.

“Well, in that case I’m going back upstairs to—“

“Keep the bed warm?” Elijah finished.

You gaped at him in shock. He was rarely so playful in front of anyone outside of his immediate family.

From the corner of your eye you saw Elena’s cheeks turn bright red.

“Elijah! We have a guest,” you scolded, gesturing to Elena.

“What?” he laughed.

You playfully swatted him on the arm. He returned the favor by swatting you on the behind. You yelped in surprise.  

“No, no! It’s fine. I did break into your house after all…” Elena’s cheeks reddened further.

“What is wrong with you?”

Elijah shrugged. “I love you. That’s all.”

You smiled and pecked a kiss on his cheek.

Striding past Elena and out of the kitchen, you spoke, “Just yell if he steps out of line, Elena.”

The two snickered as you made your way upstairs and into the master bedroom.

“Please excuse my crude behavior, Elena.” You heard your husband say from below.

“No, it’s fine. You and y/n are adorable together.”

“Thank you. I’m glad you think so.”

“How long have you been together?”

“Since I was human,” you could almost hear the grin in his voice.

“Wow… What’s it like?”

“What’s what like?”

“Being with the same person for over a thousand years… I can’t imagine being with just the same person for one thousand years.”

“I suppose that it’s all about the person. I can’t imagine a day without my y/n at my side.”

Climbing into your bed you beamed with pride and pleasure.

“That’s beautiful, Elijah.”

“It’s true too.”

She laughed. “So how did you meet y/n?”

“We sort of grew up together. Our fathers were in business together, my father was a wealthy landowner and y/n’s father was a contractor. My father owned the land and y/n’s father built the houses on the land.”

“So your family was supportive?”

Elijah snorted. “Our mothers were supportive and so were my siblings. Rebekah especially. Y/N is like the sister she never had. Our fathers on the other hand were furious.”

You shuddered at the memory.

“Why?”

“Who knows? I remember Mikael went out of his way to make y/n uncomfortable every time she visited our home. Y/N’s father, thankfully at least tried to be civil when I was over.”  

“That was nice.”

“Yes, but when I left he would yell at y/n so loudly that the whole village could hear.”

A chill crept up your spine, you could still hear the roar of your father’s voice in your ears.

“Oh.” She said flatly.

Elijah snickered lightly. “It’s okay though. We got through it. And we’ll get through anything else that life throws at us so long as we are together.”

Your lips twitched, fighting a smile.

“That’s really beautiful.” Elena said softly. “You really, truly love her, don’t you?”

“That woman up there is my world,” you heard him say.

“That’s amazing. When I was little my mom used to read to me stories about princes and princesses finding their soulmates and true loves. When I grew older I tossed the whole idea of true loves and soulmates aside. It all sounded so…childish and unrealistic. And yet here I am looking right at in you and y/n.”

Elijah released a breathy laugh. “Well if true loves and soulmates are indeed real then there is no doubt in my mind that y/n is mine. I love her like I have loved no other. Her very existence completes me. Her eyes, her scent, her personality bewitches me… I remember that on the night of our hundredth wedding anniversary party I looked upon the face of my wife with such overwhelming love that I was afraid I might burst before the first toast could be made. Just days before the celebration I was wondering if it would always be like this, if my love for her would ever fade. Nine hundred years later I think it’s safe to say that the answer to that question is no.” He laughed.

But you weren’t laughing at all. You were crying. Your husband’s words had brought you to tears. His voiced feelings hit you where you needed it most. You too had shared your husband’s worries and for centuries you dreaded the day when your husband would lose interest in you or when someone new would manage to catch his eye. Now you knew that that day would never come.

You heard Elijah sniff a couple of times.

You swallowed your laughter. He felt it too, you realized, the relief, the overwhelming euphoria of being and feeling completely content and satisfied in your relationship and in the one you love.

“So what was it you needed, Elena?”

X

When Elena departed, Elijah resumed cooking dinner and made a quick and sharply-worded phone call to his brother, Klaus.

When he was done, he entered your bedroom with a gleaming silver tray in his hands. He grinned at you, sitting the steaming tray with your dinner on it at the foot of the bed. “I thought we might eat in bed for a change.”

He leaned down and kissed your lips. His lips were soft and warm against your own but kiss remained strong.

You stroked his cheek, his stubble scratched at your palm. “I love you with all of my heart, Elijah Mikaelson.”

His cheeks colored a tad. “I knew you were listening.”

“You meant it? All of it?”

“Every last word.” He confirmed.

“I feel the same,” you told him. “I’ve never felt as strong, or as confident, or as beautiful or as…whole as I have in these last one thousand plus years I have spent at your side. When I’m with you no matter where I am the world is brighter, kinder. Thank you for being my husband, Elijah and thank you for making me your wife.”

Author’s Note: Thank you so much for reading. And thanks to @badhippiehabits for requesting.

|| the rosewater potion ||

[[request prompt: /Harry Potter au/ …Person A (reader) was making a love potion for her crush and person B (Peter/her enemy) accidentally drank it. Nothing happened to them so person A thought she did it wrong and gave the rest to her best friend who /did/ actually fall in love w somebody meaning it worked…]]

guys, I’m sorry!! I know I said I would quit writing to focus on a personal project of mine, but I just got this request sent to me like a few hours ago and I just HAD to write it.

also a bit of a warning, peter is kind of an asshole in this story so ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

tags [permanent + peter parker]: @ghostedwolf , @lovelybaka , @animexchocolate, @psychicwitchphilosopher , @pharaohkiller , @moonlight53 , @literatureandimmature, @daydr3ams-away, @wannabe-weasley , @mcusebstan , @tmrhollandkay , @pepcvina , @nekonerdxox , @lokigirl18 , @fangeekkk , @kylielo22 , @wavy-ley , @lghockey , @buckysendoftheline , @1022bridgetp , @potterjamesharry , @aenna-4 , @mcheung0314 , @samanthasmileys

word count: 2,800+

**please don’t repost/plagiarize this story. Reblogs are fine**

——

You were staring at your crush, admiring his handsome features from afar as you had your Potions textbook open. Before your beloved Daniel stepped into the scene, you had been researching the recipe to make the perfect love potion, and you were determined to use it on Daniel.

Flakes of snow gently fell across the courtyard, making you shiver a bit from your seat on the bench. Your cheeks were turned into a rosy red as the air came out of your lips in wispy puffs, but you didn’t mind the cold so long as Daniel was around.

Keep reading

A Note From Gerard Way about My Chemical Romance's breakup if you haven't read it yet

A note from Gerard Way about My Chemical Romance’s breakup:

A Vigil, On Birds and Glass.
I woke up this morning still dreaming, or not fully aware of myself just yet. The sun poked through the windows, touching my face, and then a deep sadness overcame me, immediately, bringing me to life and realization- My Chemical Romance had ended.
I walked downstairs to do the only thing I could think of to regain composure-
I made coffee.
As the drip began, in that kind of silence that only happens in the morning, and being the only one awake, I stepped outside my home, leaving the door open behind me. I looked around and began to breathe. Things looked to be about the same- a beautiful day.
As I turned to step back into the house I heard sound from within, a chirp and a rustle. And I noticed a small brown bird had flown into the library. Naturally, I panicked. I knew I had to see the bird to safety and I knew I had to retain the order of things in our home, and he very well couldn’t take up residency with us. I chased him (still assuming he was a he) into my office, where I have these very large windows.
Just then, and luckily, I heard Lindsey’s footsteps coming down the stairs, and naturally being composed as she is, she grabbed a blanket and stepped into the office. He was impossible to catch, and I began to open the windows, via Lindsey’s direction, only to find out they were screened. The bird began to fly into the glass, over and over and in all different directions.
Smack.
Smack.
Smack!
I heard another set of footsteps, Bandit’s, running down the stairs in anticipation of the new day. Her entrance into the situation caused just the right amount of chaos (she was very excited to meet the bird) and we found ourselves chasing the bird into the living room. Knowing that this where it could potentially get sticky, being the high ceilings and the beams to perch on, I opened the front door as Lindsey did her best to encourage our new friend out the door. After some coaxing, flying, chirping, a wrong turn back into the library and a short goodbye to Bandit, he simply hopped out the front door- taking off on the fifth leap.
We cheered.
I was no longer sad.
I didn’t realize it, but I stopped being sad the minute that bird had come into my life, because there was something that needed doing, a small vessel to aid and an order to keep. I closed the door. I decided to write the letter I always knew I would.

[[/MORE]]

It is often my nature to be abstract, hidden in plain sight, or nowhere at all. I have always felt that the art I have made (alone or with friends) contains all of my intent when executed properly, and thus, no explanation required. It is simply not in my nature to excuse, explain, or justify any action I have taken as a result of thinking it through with a clear head, and in my truth.
I had always felt this situation involving the end of this band would be different, in the eventuality it happened. I would be cryptic in its existence, and open upon its death.

The clearest actions come from truth, not obligation. And the truth of the matter is that I love every one of you.
So, if this finds you well, and sheds some light on anything, or my personal account and feelings on the matter, then it is out of this love, mutual and shared, not duty.
Love.
This was always my intent.

My Chemical Romance: 2001-2013

We were spectacular.
Every show I knew this, every show I felt it with or without external confirmation.
There were some clunkers, sometimes our secondhand gear broke, sometimes I had no voice- we were still great. It is this belief that made us who we were, but also many other things, all of them vital-
And all of the things that made us great were the very things that were going to end us-

Fiction. Friction. Creation. Destruction. Opposition. Aggression. Ambition. Heart. Hate. Courage. Spite. Beauty. Desperation. LOVE. Fear. Glamour. Weakness. Hope.

Fatalism.

That last one is very important. My Chemical Romance had, built within its core, a fail-safe. A doomsday device, should certain events occur or cease occurring, would detonate. I shared knowledge of this “flaw” within weeks of its inception.
Personally, I embraced it because, again, it made us perfect. A perfect machine, beautiful, yet self aware of it’s system. Under directive to terminate before it becomes compromised. To protect the idea- at all costs. This probably sounds like something ripped from the pages of a four-color comic book, and that’s the point.
No compromise. No surrender. No fucking shit.

To me that’s rock and roll. And I believe in rock and roll.

I wasn’t shy about who I said this to, not the press, or a fan, or a relative. It’s in the lyrics, it’s in the banter. I often watched the journalists snicker at mention of it, assuming I was being sensational or melodramatic (in their defense I was most likely dressed as an apocalyptic marching-band leader with a tear-away hospital gown and a face covered in expressionist paint, so fair enough).
I’m still not sure if the mechanism worked correctly, because it wasn’t a bang but a much slower process. But still the same result, and still for the same reason-

When it’s time, we stop.

It is important to understand that for us, the opinion on whether or not it is in fact time does not transmit from the audience. Again, this is to protect the idea for the benefit of the audience. Many a band have waited for external confirmation that it is time to hang it up, via ticket sales, chart positioning, boos and bottles of urine- input that holds no sway for us, and often too late when it comes anyway.

You should know it in your being, if you listen to the truth inside you. And voice inside became louder than the music.

Now-
There are many reasons My Chemical Romance ended. The triggerman is unimportant, as was always the messengers- but the message, again as always, is the important thing. But to reiterate, this is my account, my reasons and my feelings. And I can assure you there was no divorce, argument, failure, accident, villain, or knife in the back that caused this, again this was no one’s fault, and it had been quietly in the works, whether we knew it or not, long before any sensationalism, scandal, or rumor.

There wasn’t even a blaze of glory in a hail of bullets…

I am backstage in Asbury Park, New Jersey. It is Saturday, May 19th, 2012 and I am pacing behind a massive black curtain that leads to the stage. I feel the breeze from the ocean find its way around me and I look down at my arms, which are covered in fresh gauze due to a losing battle with a heat rash, which had been a mysterious problem in recent months. I am normally not nervous before a show but I am certainly filled with angry butterflies most of the time. This is different- a strange anxiety jetting through me that I can only imagine is the sixth sense one feels before their last moments alive. My pupils have zeroed-out and I have ceased blinking. My body temperature is icy.
We get the cue to hit the stage.

The show is… good. Not great, not bad, just good. The first thing I notice take me by surprise is not the enormous amount of people in front of us but off to my left- the shore and the vastness of the ocean. Much more blue than I remembered as a boy. The sky is just as vibrant. I perform, semi-automatically, and something is wrong.
I am acting. I never act on stage, even when it appears that I am, even when I’m hamming it up or delivering a soliloquy. Suddenly, I have become highly self-aware, almost as if waking from a dream. I began to move faster, more frantic, reckless- trying to shake it off- but all it began to create was silence. The amps, the cheers, all began to fade.

All that what left was the voice inside, and I could hear it clearly. It didn’t have to yell- it whispered, and said to me briefly, plainly, and kindly- what it had to say.

What it said is between me and the voice.

I ignored it, and the following months were full of suffering for me- I hollowed out, stopped listening to music, never picked up a pencil, started slipping into old habits. All of the vibrancy I used to see became de-saturated. Lost. I used to see art or magic in everything, especially the mundane- the ability was buried under wreckage.

Slowly, once I had done enough damage to myself, I began to climb out of the hole. Clean. When I made it out, the only thing left inside was the voice, and for the second time in my life, I no longer ignored it- because it was my own.

There are many roles for all of us to play in this ending. We can be well-wishers, ill-wishers, sympathizers, vilifiers, comedians, rain clouds, victims-

That last one, again, is important. I have never thought myself a victim, nor my comrades, nor the fans- especially not the fans. For us to adopt that role right now would legitimize everything the tabloids have tried to name us. More importantly, it completely misses the point of the band. And then what have we learned?

With honor, integrity, closure, and on no one’s terms but our own- the door closes.

And another opens-

This morning I awoke early. I quickly brushed my teeth, threw on some baggy jeans, and hopped in my car. I gently sped down the 405 through the morning fog to a random parking lot in Palo Verde, where I was to meet a nice gentleman named Norm. He was older, and a self-proclaimed “hippie” but he also had the energy of Sixteen year old in a garage-rock band. The purpose of the meeting was the delivery of an amplifier into my possession. I had recently purchased the amp from him and we both agreed that shipping would jostle the tubes- so he was kind enough to meet me in the middle.
A Fender Princeton Amp from 1965, non reverb. A beautiful little device.

He showed me the finer points, the speaker, the non-grounded plug, the original label and the chalk mark of the man or woman who built it-

“This amp talks.” he said.
I smiled.
We got coffee, talked about gold-foil pickups and life. We sat in the car and played each other music we had made. We parted ways, promising to stay in touch, I drove home.

When I wanted to start My Chemical Romance, I began by sitting in my parent’s basement, picking up an instrument I had long abandoned for the brush- a guitar. It was a 90’s Fender Mexican Stratocaster, Lake Placid Blue, but in my youth I had decided it was too clean and pretty so I beat it up, exposing some of the red paint underneath the blue- the color it was meant to be. Adding a piece of duct tape on the pick guard, it felt acceptable. I plugged this into a baby Crate Amp with built in distortion and began the first chords of Skylines and Turnstiles.

I still have that guitar, and it’s sitting next to The Princeton.
He has a voice, and I would like to hear what it has to say.

In closing, I want to thank every single fan. I have learned from you, maybe more than you think you’ve learned from me. My only regret is that I am awful with names and bad with goodbyes. But I never forget a face, or a feeling- and that is what I have left from all of you.
I feel Love.

I feel love for you, for our crew, our team, and for every single human being I have shared the band and stage with-

Ray. Mikey. Frank. Matt. Bob. James. Todd. Cortez. Tucker. Pete. Michael. Jarrod.

Since I am bad with goodbyes. I refuse to let this be one. But I will leave you with one last thing-

My Chemical Romance is done. But it can never die.
It is alive in me, in the guys, and it is alive inside all of you.
I always knew that, and I think you did too.

Because it is not a band-
it is an idea.

Love,
Gerard

Geno’s interview for Maxim (April 2017). 

Big thanks to @atsomnambulist for the help with the translation! 😇

-You live in the United States ten months in a year. What do you miss most about Russia?

- It used to be difficult, my parents did not visit that much. And now I’m comfortable, all who are close and dear to me often visit Pittsburgh. I don’t worry about food, I’m not fussy. What I miss the most is the Russian banya (sauna). Whenever I arrive in Moscow, I immediately go to “Sanduny”. I like to hang out with friends, sometimes in nightclubs too. You get tired of a year of matches and flights across the America, so you need some time to relax.

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