remember that i'm new to this guys

  • Yuu: hey, guys? Mika and I have something to confess... We're gay and dating each other
  • Shinoa: yeah, so?
  • Kimizuki: you've been dating for like, what? 4 years?
  • Mitsuba: you were extremely obvious
  • Yuu: uh no? We've been dating for only 2 days
  • Shinoa: bro, look into my eyes. It's either you two have been dating for the past 4 months or making out is a friendship thing now. No homo, right?
  • Yuu: we weren't making out! We were just trying a new blood-drinking technique. It was all for Mika's sake!
  • Shinoa: for Mika???
  • Yuu: yeah? Why are you looking at me like that?
  • Shinoa: because, if I remember correctly, you are the one who said "hey, Mika, love of my life, light of my eyes-
  • Yuu: I did not say that-
  • Shinoa: "I want to try something new", grabbed Mika's face and kissed him fiercely until his fangs pierced your lips
  • Yuu: I just thought he would be more comfortable with drinking my blood that way!
  • Shinoa: whatever you say, Yuu-san
  • Yoichi: hey guys, we shouldn't be so hard on them. Yuu-kun, I'm glad you finally realized you were dating Mika!
  • Yuu: thank you, I'm- hold on, WE WEREN'T DATING
I'm "tired" of your Craigslist ads

This happened a couple years ago but I just remembered while browsing craigslist.

My dad needed some new tires for his truck but being low on funds we turned to craigslist for a used set. I found him what looked to be a good deal only a few blocks from home at some guy’s shop which was more or less just a detached garage next to his house. Dad went and got the tires installed and less than a week later one of them had a huge bubble form where the tread separated and became unusable. We called the guy and he said tough luck, we should have inspected them better. I agree, my dad should have looked them over better but I was still pissed that the guy was selling garbage to unsuspecting customers.

I forget about it and a few months go by but now I am looking for some used tires for my truck on craigslist. Nothing on craigslist annoys me more than when people list their items for $1 just so it shows up more often when people search by price. I start to see multiple listings for the same tires. All listed one day apart, all for $1 and no other mention of price in the ad itself. I begin flagging the multiple listings when I notice the name is the same as the guy who sold the tires to my dad months before (Tom) and my heart starts pounding with excitement as a plan forms in my head.

A couple days later I drive to Tom’s shop and ask to see the tires from the ad. He takes me out back and pulls them down from a rack so I can inspect them. I spend about 10 minutes looking over every inch of the tires then just stand there staring at them and thinking. My original plan was to go inspect them and then after wasting his time tell him I didn’t like them. The problem however, was that the tires were in perfect condition. New plan. After a few more minutes of us standing there in silence it comes to me.

Me: “The tires look great. I’ll take them!”

Tom: “Great, let’s go to my office and write up a receipt.”

Me: “No, it’s ok. I’ll just pay you here.”

I pull out my wallet and ask: “Is it $1 for all four or $1 for each tire?”

He looks at me annoyed as if he sees where this is going and explains he can’t sell them for only $1. I pull out my phone and show him five, yes five, separate listings for the exact same set of tires all listed at $1 with his name and contact info underneath. He didn’t like that and told me firmly to either stop wasting his time and pay him or leave, so I left as he stacked the tires back on the rack.

In all I wasted about 20 minutes of his day and made him lift heavy tires. He didn’t learn his lesson because today I found him doing the same thing with his craigslist listings, so I flagged then all and it feels amazing.

but really can you imagine minerva mcgonagall carefully going through the list of all the new firsties and efficiently whipping up their letters and getting to a one mr. harry james potter and hesitating, throat thick with emotion, as she remembers a tragically beautiful couple and the innocent baby whom they all tried so hard to protect and shedding a tiny tear and penning the words

dear mr. potter

and feeling content because at last, at long last lily and james’s child would truly be coming home

Beep beep here I come with a new theory

okay, so I came up with a theory that’s kind of far fetched and kind of stupid bUT here it is. 

Okay so do you guys remember this guy here?

Originally posted by septicpotato

Most people write (ha) him off as Darkiplier but he’s actually not.

He’s a whole different character.

He’s what’s know as “The Author”. He was never given a real name (not that I remember. Forgive me if he did) but what ever he wrote would come true.

Well, haven’t you noticed that he kind of disappeared? You’d think that someone who can write what ever they want wouldn’t be so easy to get rid of right? What if he never went away? What if he’s been the one behind Dark/Wilf/Google/etc. this whole time? Just sitting there, writing stuff.

What if Dark/Wilf/Google/etc never existed? What if he made them to torment Mark? What if they’re brothers or something like that and The Author is jealous that Mark can live a normal life while hes stuck with this curse? He’s stuck in this place where he can’t escape and he hates that Mark can. He hates that Mark gets to be normal so he sent Mark some… friends. He’s been manipulating and controlling Mark’s other “characters”.

Everyone seems to think that Wilf has as much power as Dark but what if neither of them really have power? You see in A Date With Warkiplier that Wilf is the only one to give you a real way to escape. But where did he get that power? Where did Dark get his power? 

The Author. 

The Author wanted to ruin Mark’s life. So he made Mark have all these “characters” as a way to punish him. He wrote these character into existence as a way to torment Mark. That’s why they’re so powerful because The Author made them that way. 

anonymous asked:

So I'm training a new cashier (it was scandalous how it came to be but that's a diff story) and one of our customers happened to grab an item with no barcode. Cool I can punch it in but they don't remember how much it was so the girl goes to grab a new one. Very compliant. Except the guy behind them upset at me for not knowing the system. He kept on talking shit as we wait. So I just turn to the trainee and said "see this is what you're going to deal with a lot. It'll get annoying" he shut up

anonymous asked:

Faiza I'm so sorry for asking but could you post a picture of the two new guys with their character names and real names underneath lol? I'm really bad at remembering names and keep getting confused

HELLOOOOOOO ANON!!!!

No problem! Okay, so:

Name of Actor: Yousef Hjelde Elmofty
Name of Character: Mikael
Yousef’s IG: 
Yousef’s Snapchat: yousefkc

Name of Actor: Cengiz Al
Name of Character: Yousef Acar
Cengiz’s IG: x
Cengiz’s Snapchat: cengizal 

thefoodwiththedood  asked:

Hi Carl! I dunno if you remember this from when you went on the Pizza Party Podcast, but I'm the guy who asked about going to my school's Anime Club. I ended up going all this year, and I had a ton of fun! Not only did I get into a lot of new shows, but I made a ton of new friends, too! You n' all the other guys on there were right: branching out to other people with similar interests turned out to be one of the best things I've done all year. All this to say, thank you for your advice! 😄

That’s awesome to hear! I always feel weird about going to social events where I don’t know folks. It’s a low level anxiety compared to most, so I tend to avoid new groups. But then when I do force myself to go, I usually have fun and rarely regret it. 

You have to put yourself out there to make connections with people and that’s inherently scary for most folks. But it can pay off.

CRIMINAL MINDS FINALLY WON FAVORITE TV CRIME DRAMA!!!!!!!! IM SO PROUD!!!! THEY ALL DESERVED IT AFTER ALL THESE YEARS

It’s honestly about freaking time

I just really love Set, you guys. I think it’s been a little over a year now since I started guessing that the little prods I felt were from Him and I started on my Kemetic journey. I still remember how excited I was that He was a Beloved of mine.

He’s so multi-faceted and dynamic and there’s always something new to learn about Him. He’s both the desert and the oasis, both destruction and salvation. He defends ma’at and in the same breath will usher in a revolution. His words and gaze will cut to the core but then He will be there to pick up the pieces and help rebuild, and make things better and stronger than before.

To You, Set, Sharp of Teeth,

Killer of Stagnation,

Lord of fiery sand and soothing water,

Thank You for all that You do for us, for me.

YEEZY VIBES X CAMO


I barely have time to eat with all the new projects and modeling job I have. And yes, I’m back at “the model life” after taking a big big break for eating disorders and bulimia problems. ​I’ve been carrying these problems for yeaaars, but this time I’m really working on it  and I’m going a lot better. I just have to remember that nobody is perfect. Just love yourself guys, be your own King ! Wait… I mean be your own [ Insert your name here ] Lol 💋❤️.

anonymous asked:

hi i'm looking for a fic i believe i read it on tumblr a while ago it was high school au and i think phil was the new kid and he kept coming to a rooftop reading his book and dan kept coming there too i remember dan threw phils book down when they first met eventually they started dating and then some guy caught them kissing,dan beat him up and they broke up but i dont remember how it ended thank you

You keep on hitting, but I keep on swinging - (tw) Dan’s an asshole and Phil tries to convince himself Dan isn’t one. 

- Emily

I like the idea of Ford being the one to have the most trouble censoring himself around the kids. Meanwhile Stan is just waiting for Ford to mess up again so he has to add another dollar to the new swear jar while Stanley looks smug about it.

And Ford doesn’t know how Stanley manages to never swear, since he remembers young Stan having a sailor’s mouth. So he’s still surprised every time Stanley stubs his toe and shouts “HOT BELGIAN WAFFLES!!”

5

i found cute the pirate thing so (btw the song is this one)

bonus: 

Sometimes I feel bad for snowbarry shippers

Like I’m not even trying to be funny. Some of you guys are decent people and you have to put up with some really stupid shit on both ends. I just hope you don’t let that take away your enjoyment of the show. I hope that at the end of the day you don’t take everything so seriously and can still have fun watching new episodes every week.

The Emperor's New Groove Sentence Meme
  • "Will you take a look at that? Pretty pathetic, huh?"
  • "I was the worlds nicest guy and they ruined my life for no reason."
  • "You threw off my groove."
  • "I'm sorry but you've thrown off the emperor's groove."
  • "Trot out the ladies."
  • "Let me guess, you've got a great personality."
  • "Don't be fooled by the folksy, peasant look."
  • "You really should have thought of that before you became peasants."
  • "I'm the emperor and your the emperor's advisor, remember?"
  • "Um, how else can I say it? You're being let go...your departments being downsized, you're part of an outplacement...we're going in a different direction, we're not picking up your option. Take your pick I got more."
  • "Word on the street is you can fix my problem."
  • "When I give the word, your little town thingy will go bye bye."
  • "With him out of the way and no heir to the throne I'll take over and rule the empire."
  • "Why do we even have that lever?"
  • "I'll turn him into a flea, a harmless little flea, and then I'll put that flea in a box and I'll put that box inside of another box and then I'll mail that box to myself and when it arrives I'll smash it with a hammer!"
  • "Our moment of triumph approaches."
  • "I am one hungry king of the world."
  • "Now to get rid of the body."
  • "W...we were just making a toast...to your long and healthy rule."
  • "You know...in my defense...your poisons all look alike. You might think about relabeling some of them."
  • "I am so glad I was unconscious for all of this."
  • "Don't listen to that guy. He's trying to lead you down the path of righteousness. I'm gonna lead you down the path that rocks."
  • "Demon llama!"
  • "I'm an ugly, stinky llama!"
  • "I have no idea. You're the criminal mastermind, not me."
  • "I got a little secret for you. Come here. No, closer."
  • "Maybe I'm just new to this whole rescuing thing but this, to me, might be considered kind of a backward step, wouldn't you say?"
  • "Don't tell me. We're about to go over a huge waterfall."
  • "For the last time, it was not a kiss."
  • "You know what? Some day you're gonna wind up all alone and you'll have no one to blame but yourself."
  • "And so it is with great sadness that we mourn the sudden departure of our beloved prince taken from us so tragically on the very eve of his birthday. His legacy will live on in our hearts for all eternity."
  • "Well...he's not as dead as we would have hoped."
  • "I was gonna have you imprisoned for life but I kind of like this better."
  • "I thought you were a changed man."
  • "Why did I risk my life for a selfish brat like you?"
  • "I was always taught that there was some good in everyone but, oh, you proved me wrong."
  • "Don't read too much into it. It was a one time thing."
  • "Anything sounds bad when you say it with that attitude."
  • "Break it down? Are you kidding me? This is hand-carved mahagony."
  • "Its called a cruel irony, like my dependence on you."
  • "I've never liked your spinach puffs! Never!"
  • "From above, the wicked shall receive their just reward."
  • "It's not the first time I was tossed out a window and it won't be the last."