remember how many shots we took

Joker Imagine *Song inspired* - Lay Me Down

Hi! This is based on the song ‘’All the pretty girls’’ by Kaleo ( click song title to open the song if you want to ). This was requested, but I won’t display the request because it can spoil the story. Enjoy!

Joker’s P.O.V.

Some say that bad people don’t deserve anything good. They say that evil can’t get pure. I didn’t believe that at all since I had Y/N, my girlfriend. I was evil, to be completely honest. Come on, being the clown prince of crime and the king of Gotham didn’t come if you were a good person. I killed, I robbed and I enjoyed bad things. 

Then there was Y/N. She came into my life and at first, I tried to push her away. It wasn’t easy to let someone in and get to know me, but somehow it happened and I was so happy to have her by my side. Damn, we knew how to have fun. We made the Bat chase us around the city quite often. She liked it. Her laugh was like music to my ears when I drove ten times faster than anyone else around us. Everything was just great! I had let her in.

We had been separated for a week now, but I was going to see her soon. I wouldn’t be alone, no, all our friends were coming too. Well, whatever we could call friends, more like our goons and a few criminals we knew. Even her old friends were here which was special. Tonight would be about the king and queen of Gotham. It made my gut twist in a sick way because I was nervous which I rarely was. 

A week ago we had been sailing. Yes, it was romantic and all that shit, but the main reason for it was an island near shore here in Gotham. Y/N and I broke into a fancy-ass house and we killed the owners so we could stay there for a day. It was one of the best days in my life. She opened up to me about her past and I was there to listen. When I was alone with Y/N, I felt like I didn’t have to put on a show. I could just relax and being me, relaxing wasn’t something I could do often. I was always busy planning our next crime.

Anyway, Y/N swam butt-naked in the sea and she even got me in the water, but I had my clothes on. We had negotiated things about her stupid ex-boyfriend and we ended up agreeing that he’d be dead once we got back home. Her ex was a man called Samuel, a total player who had used Y/N. How disrespectful. No one and I mean no one would disrespect my queen.

             The rain made me snap out of my thoughts. Gotham city seemed to be the center of rainclouds.  The sky was very dark and dull, but the full moon shined through. The wind was cold but the breeze wasn’t too harsh. I looked around and saw people waiting. ‘’We can do this Y/N’’ I told her quietly. Then I looked at her, feeling how tears stung my eyes. Man, this felt unreal. This was happening now!

I made sure that the strap on my shoulder was there tightly. Then I gave Y/N a small pat, almost comforting her before I started walking further. Everyone’s eyes turned to us and it reminded me of everything. I just had to keep myself together and not freak out or do some crazy nonsense. Not today, this was way too important.

The five people around me were quiet. Frost was on Y/N’s other side. I took a deep breath and I forced myself to ignore the dirt that came onto my shiny black shoes. The dirt turned muddy because of the rain that soaked our clothes. A few more steps later that felt extremely heavy, we stopped. This is it. It would happen right here on this spot. ‘’You ready boss?’’ Frost asked me carefully, looking right into my eyes. The people around us were still quiet, but some sniffled and cried. There were rows of my goons with loaded guns in their arms.

Everyone was dressed in black. ‘’Yes’’ I told Frost, signaling the four others too. Frost nodded to them all, which broke my little heart that Y/N had once fixed. Too bad she could never do that again. I looked into the deep hole beneath hr and I wanted to wake up, but this wasn’t a dream. This was her funeral.

So we started lowering her casket into the ground. It was a white one with a carving of a swan. I hope she could be happy because my Y/N deserved that. She was such a beautiful girl. I hadn’t cried for years until her death and I swear it was close now. I loosened my grip slightly so she could go down. Then the casket hit the bottom and we pulled up the straps. There she was.

My breath stopped and I stared down at the casket that would be covered in dirt in a few minutes. It felt like I was looking at a nightmare. I couldn’t believe that my beautiful queen was in that wooden box! I couldn’t save her. ‘’I’m so sorry’’ I whispered before facing the other way. I was supposed to hold a speech before she’d be buried. Everyone looked at me now. Although I loved attention, this was different. I hated it. For once I could say that I hated death.

The cemetery was honestly depressing. I saw so many graves around us, so many flowers some dead and some alive, then our guests in black. The grass was wet and it had paths on it because so many people had been here. I cleared my throat and I took a deep breath. Instead of looking at someone, I looked at a nearby tree on a small hill. 

‘’Y/N was too young and too good for this’’ I started, trying my best to sound strong for her. Making a good speech wasn’t my specialty, but I truly tried. ‘’She was the only person who understood me and I felt like I could understand her. Y/N wasn’t a bad person although people would like to think that. Being with a bad person doesn’t make you one. She was incredibly beautiful and sweet. I knew she could accomplish so much, but now that chance is gone. Although religion and stuff like that are hard to understand, I hope she goes to a good place’’ I spoke slowly, holding back tears, but it was hard.

Then I saw something close to the tree. A black figure came closer but stopped. It was Batman. He was just standing there and I knew he’d get shot if he even tried to come and interrupt this. For some reason, it didn’t alert me, because I kinda expected to see him here. ‘’We’re here today to say goodbye to the queen of Gotham city. She shall never be forgotten and I’ll make sure of that’’ I promised them surely. Then I sighed and closed my eyes for a moment. I could almost believe she was beside me.

‘’Y/N I’m so sorry that I couldn’t save you. I didn’t want this to happen to you’’ I said more sadly. Then I opened y eyes and I grabbed a shovel. So did the five goons, but I would put dirt in there first. That was a deal. I grabbed a little dirt and then I put the shovel above her grave. ‘’I love you’’ I whispered, saying three words I had said only a handful of times in my entire lifetime. As I let the dirt fall, so did my tears. The rain washed them away which was good.

So we started filling up her grave. It was so unfair! I would do anything to get her back, but I couldn’t. I was surprised that batman didn’t come closer to try and get me. I wasn’t in my best state so I doubt he would find it hard. Maybe he felt guilty as well?

You see Y/N died in such an unnecessary accident. There was a gang making trouble in the city. She was curious about it so we went downtown to see it for ourselves. We meant no harm for once. Batman was already there before us. He was fighting the gang and we watched. I was going to grab my gun from the car just in case, only leaving her side for ten seconds which was enough.

One of the men took her, dragging her in the middle of the mess. I tried to run to her, man I shot everyone around her to get there. No one gave her a helping hand even tho so many could have. I remembered how she screamed when the gang member stabbed her abdomen as I ran. I reached her too late and so did batman. He had tried to save Y/N, but he couldn’t either It all happened so fast.

So there I sat on the cold ground with her dying body in my arms. Her blood had completely soaked her and my clothes, but I didn’t give a damn. ‘’Don’t..blame y-yourself’’ She had told me so weakly. I yelled that she wouldn’t die. I was so furious that I was losing my mind. ‘’I love you’’ Were her last words and then she had died in my arms. I could still feel that haunting moment as it happened a minute ago.

Batman didn’t take me to Arkham that day. I guess he showed mercy or something.

I had lost her.

And now I had lied her down to her last resting place.

Apollo pt.3

Part 1 // Part 2 // Part 4 // Part 5 // Part 6

Pairing: Bucky x Reader

Summary: Writer blocks can be really frustrating, and sometimes having a “muse” doesn’t really help either. - Specially when your inspiration might not be there with you forever. ModernAU!


Words: 1898


Originally posted by stanxstan

“Please, please pick up the damn phone.” You whispered, on the verge of tears. “James Buchanan Barnes I swear to god…” You got interrupted by his voice, played automatically telling you to leave a message. You sighed, throwing your mobile across the room, to the bed.

Since your hasty love declaration things got automatically cold between you two. He barely answered your messages, and didn’t even pick up your calls. Once you went to his apartment, waited outside for a couple of hours, only to give up and leave because your butt couldn’t stand the hard ground anymore. You prayed he didn’t left to England without saying goodbye, because you’d fly there, only for kicking his ass and come back. It was curious how your way to see him as your good old friend never changed. Maybe I got used to this. Maybe I meant to be just his friend, nothing else. You thought. After all, both of you were so similar and so different at the same time; Like two identical puzzle pieces: identical, therefore incapable of being joined together.

At the same moment, in Midtown, Bucky was sat still in his bed. Lost in his thoughts, he looked up when his phone rang for the 3rd time. Kisses followed the trail in the middle of his bare back leaving little baby pink marks, delicate hands pressing his torso lightly.

“Aren’t you going to pick it up?” Hope asked warm breath hitting behind his neck.

“I got nothing to tell her.” He gulped.

More like he didn’t know what to tell her. All those years, all those moments together didn’t make him feel like usual. All those forehead kisses, tight hugs and puppy-eyes staring didn’t seem to fit right. He bit his inner cheek, wondering why did that happen. Why did she fell for him at the same moment he was trying to turn the page, reach a new milestone on his life, move on.

“She’s still your friend, Buck.” His nickname sounded bittersweet in her mouth. Sweet, because of the soft tone and the way his girlfriend said it, and bitter, because it was a reminder of the affection between (y/n) and him. “You have to say goodbye to her before we leave. Sometimes it’s not good to leave people behind like that. You can hurt them, specially when you’re really important to them.” 

Hope knew the feeling very well, but James didn’t need to know that. Not now that she crawled her way out of her misery at last.

“She- She needs to get over her feelings, rearrange her mind.” Those words burned like hell making their way through his throat. He didn’t really mean it, but for him, it was the best way for both of you to go back to the old- classic friendship you had. He couldn’t lose that. Like his family, that relationship was deeply rooted to his whole being.

“Promise me you’ll go and talk to her.” He nodded and agreed under his breath, sighing, before turning around and lock his frozen blue eyes on her swollen lips.

“Now let’s wipe off that pink lipstick without moving out of this bed.” And as easy as clicking a button, he shut his guilty thoughts off and focused on his present: Hope.

Your eyes itched as you were consistently trying to finish the last paragraph of your novel, and, with a period, you let out a proud sigh. You ended it. You could finish your damn book, and in a matter of weeks, maybe a few months, you would be able to publish it.

One of the things you loved about this job was the uncertainty of its success. You never knew what book would be the one who would mark an entire generation, or the one forgotten in a pile of old unclaimed novels in a local bookshop. Its success was volatile, just like the decisions we, as imperfect human beings, make. You have always hoped for the best, and this book was giving you good vibes.

With a quick check and a few clicks on the screen, you printed part of your book and its dedicatory, stapling them together afterwards. You called Wanda and Nat, telling them to hang out to celebrate as you grabbed your coat and the preview of your work.

You felt joy flowing through your veins as you jumped down the stairs with a big smile on your face, feeling like finally everything was going well after a week of strong negative emotions. But, as the cold air hit your lungs, your heart skipped a beat.

If Adonis was resurrected somehow at this century, you were a hundred percent sure he got reincarnated as Bucky. Without that harsh look he gave you when you two argued and the strange feeling of not having him around everyday his return with that softened look and calmed features felt like the cool breeze in a hot summer. You grabbed your piece of paper harder as he approached to you, arms wide open.

“Buck.” You squealed softly, settling yourself between his warmth. “I thought you were upset, you didn’t answered my calls, you didn’t…”

“I’m leaving to London in a few hours, (y/n)” He interrupted you as he retired himself from your grip. You jaw dropped, you were trying to remember how to breath.

“Oh.” That was the only thing you were able to pronounce. Oh.

“I came here to say goodbye.” Maybe it wasn’t just a goodbye for him, because it didn’t feel like a usual one. Strings were being cut at that moment, and he could feel it, he could feel the stingy sensation deep in his heart. He felt the same when he had to leave his childhood dog at the vet, because he was too old and too ill; he felt the same when he left the house, after having a big argument with his father. His subconscious knew he was losing somebody.

Yet, you felt like you couldn’t let this go, not with ease. Just as you saw him shake his hand you called him.



“We’ll keep in touch,  okay?” Your weak voice was cracking. He turned around, trying to smile back at you. “I’ll beat your squishy ass if you forget my existence.” And at that moment, his real grin appeared for a few seconds, the Registered Trademark one, the one that showed up whenever they were together.

“How could I? You’re like the conjoined sister I never wanted.” He whispered and stared at your features while you stood there, turning around before it got too hard for him. He saw it. He saw what he had before his decision and he didn’t want to process it. Hope was his future, and he had to focus on it

The paper between your fingers was burning. You bit your lower lip, frowning and fighting back your tears.

“Buck.” You called again, one last time. He used your call as an excuse to turn around, absorb what it was in front of him.

“Hmm?” He repeated. But this time, you preferred saving it for yourself. You hid the preview you had printed for him behind you, telling yourself that if God wanted to, he’d find out everything by himself.


“That fucker did what?” Nat asked while she was deciding between two dresses. “We’re his friends too, why didn’t he come here and hug us and tell us he was leaving?”

“He went to Steve’s and told him to say it on his behalf.” Wanda blabbed, your mouth full of popcorn, still focused on the movie you three were watching. “After you declared he was your enemy I bet five bucks he doesn’t dare to come around you.”

“Wait, Steve knew this? And when did I say that?”

“Remember that day we took (y/n) partying after her heart got shattered?” You grunted in the distance, not wanting to get too involved in the conversation. “You had too many shots and snapchat showed the world what you were thinking about James at that moment.”

By her confused look, you both knew she didn’t remember anything.

“Anyways, (y/n)” Wanda turned around to face you. “I’ve heard your editorial needs new employees.” You nodded, not paying much attention. “Do you know how much I appreciate you, and your kindness to your friends?”

“Wanda, spit it out.” You mumbled. You focused on her when the credits started rolling on the screen.

“Alright so you know I’ve got a brother, right?” You nodded. “Welp, he just finished his degree at college and he’s looking for a job.”

“… And you want me to recommend Pietro to my boss.” You completed as you saw her put her hands together in a prayer, nodding frantically.

You knew Pietro. He was a good guy, a little bit younger than you. He’s really intelligent, but acted a little bit goofy around Natasha and you, in an attempt to annoy his sister, who usually felt humiliated when he did so. Really good at sports, he liked to brag of his skills whenever he had the chance to win you. 

“You know he’s really hardworking and all of that, also, you don’t really need to compromise your-”

“You don’t need to convince me, I got this.” Wanda squealed and hugged you tight, squeezing your organs as you struggled on getting out of her grip.

“Okay lovebirds, time to get ready to party.” Nat dragged both of you to the wardrobe, ignoring your complaints. 

The weather difference was the first thing Bucky noticed after arriving to the city: cloudy, with sudden short storms and pauses, where you had to alternate between grabbing your umbrella and taking off your jacket. And he felt identified with it, because these days his life had the same downs and uppers.

“You’re going to love my mother, she’s the best cooker of the entire world. I don’t know if you’ve ever tried British food, people say it’s horrible but I swear she can make the best Yorkshire pudding. Did I tell you she was from Yorkshire? It’s a county…” Hope kept talking as she swung her arm and Bucky’s while walking, hands together showing their love.

However, he was lost in his thoughts. He was going to meet the parents of his partner. In a couple of years, he could see him proposing to her, and, who knows, he might be a father after their honeymoon. He was growing up, maturing. He’d grow old with her, and tell his grandsons stories about his childhood in The States. He’d tell them about his best friend, who was an incredible writer that had the imagination of a little kid, making her unique. He’d tell them about her love for pizza and her way of teasing him hugging the food before him. And maybe, when they grow up, he’d mention how her cheeks used to turn red when she got tipsy, and how she fell asleep head on his back when playing around after a few drinks.

But all of a sudden, your last declaration hit him again like a rock, leaving him with an unsettling sensation on his chest. And then, he remembered. He had to move on, because since he met Hope, you couldn’t be his centre of attention anymore. 

Just as how you’d replace him when you find someone else someday.

Tags: @buchananbarnestrash

Wanna be tagged? Ask here

thenorthrememberssansa  asked:

Tell me positive, happy things about how awesome DC and our fandom is.

- zods snapped neck. do you remember when that came out? do you remember when chris posted that, so proud of himself, and took so many shots at bvs and clearly thought he massively improved the movie? and what did we do? made it a trending meme. “tell that to zods snapped neck” “worlds greatest detective” who can forget this absolutely beautiful moment in the fandom when we were able to channel all that hate he emanated and turning it into a fuckin trending meme? dceu fandom takes no prisoners

- zack attack. if you werent on twitter maybe you didnt get the full effect, but it was GLORIOUS. My favorite was that even clay and larry participated, with larry friggin posting another picture for the meme. all I could think about was zack laughing his ass off and feeling appreciated. 

- remember sad affleck? re: sad affleck. suck it haters. 

- the ww trailer. we exploded. we are FINALLY getting a big screen diana. shes gonna be badass. we’re getting the badass race of themyscirans charging on horses, flying backwards, and stealing our hearts

- “what i do is not up to you”

- fuckin back muscles holy shit!!!

- the jl trailer. for MONTHS we’ve been asking zack to release a picture. anything. ANYTHING. going in, we thought MAYBE he’d give a picture but hey its too soon too tell, we dont know, lets just be hyped for ww. “well lets play the clip” HOLY FUCK WE GOT A VIDEO INSTEAD??? 

- the fandom adopting barry and victor

- “he said no” “he said no”

- “im real when its useful”

- margot loving harley so much that she friggin pitched a harley led spinoff!!! and brought in her own writer!!!! and offered to produce!!!!! THATS HOW MUCH SHE LOVES THE CHARACTER!!

- seriously she straight up said “i want to do 10 more movies with this character ive never felt this before”

- supermullet. holy shit. what a day. 

- dawn of metal and rap. WHAT THE HELL.

- seriously we meme EVERYTHING

- ben saying “batman works best when he has a family” BOY HE BOUT TO DO IT!!!!


- this is long so let me get to the best part

- the best of it all. we are a VERY tight knit community. we support each other. we’ve all got one mind, and we are all very supportive. I remember when bvs first came out and I was so lost because everyone was so negative, and I found all y’all and its like YES IM NOT ALONE. And we became a haven for new fans to enter and feel loved for, and a way to provide sanity in this nonsense world. We are a family. 

VIP Section (JB)

Originally posted by i5x

There’s something about trouble that’s always so enticing. 

Word count: 2411

Keep reading

i. The moon has a way in calling out my name, and darling, I am too afraid that the stars will no longer guide me back into your arms. I hear them telling me to get lost and continue walking away until your laughter is nothing but a distant memory a few years back. Will you miss when I start wandering into the vastness of this city? 

ii. I stopped counting the white lines in the pedestrian lanes because, somehow, I have engraved the numbers in my mind (14, 8, 28, 6, 20) with all the times you took the place of loneliness by my side. With eyes closed, I can remember the impatience on your face as I foolishly count each line. And I love that little laugh you have when I finally finish my counting.

iii. How many shots of alcohol can you take before wanting to kiss me?

iv. My heart aches with missing you.

v. Can we stay up until the morning sun wakes up and, baby, I’ll hold you until we fall asleep as the world starts to buzz with life. Run away with me and search for dreams amidst the people’s beating hearts.

vi. How are you? I hope you had a lovely day.

vii. I saw a bright yellow flower today, and darling, it pales in comparison to the warmth your smile has to offer.

viii. Do you ever miss me?

ix. The setting sun wounded the sky, making it bleed a glorious shade of crimson. I stopped in the middle of the road, not minding the passers by, because at that very moment, I thought of you. I thought of you and remembered the very first time I told myself that I love you.

x. Someone else held my hand tonight. But he wasn’t you. I kept on looking for the gentle caress you do on the back of my hand, the sudden tightening of your cold hand against my warmth. And your gentle hands will always be my favorite. Always.

xi. Hold me. Kiss me. And I’ll write poetry on your fingertips down to the soul of your fears.

xii. I love you.

xiii. When can I see you again?

xiv. Be selfish with me. I am yours as long as you want me to be. I have stories waiting for you over dinner. The love in my back pockets are for your taking. My warmth and light are yours to use when the road seems too dark. My love, you need not worry because I always find myself loving you beyond all the scars and imperfections. 

xv. Come back home. Please.
—  unsent text messages
#NoSeOlvida Tlatelolco Massacre

Okay so sorry for upcoming really long post but today is a really tragic day in my country’s history and I need to talk about it.

On October 2nd, 1968, just before the summer olympics were held in Mexico, there was a huge, peaceful manifestation of university students in Mexico City. Two rivaling universities, UNAM and IPN, came together to protest police brutality against IPN and then the Olympics and the awful state of the country and government.

The students gathered in Tlatelolco, in a square called Las 3 Culturas.

Thousands of students came together in protest. They were joined by workers and teachers and people from all walks of life. But the protest remained peaceful.

The world had its eye on Mexico, and the president at the time, Diaz Ordaz, couldn’t have them see this unhappiness.

So he closed off the main exits of the square, brought in tanks and machine guns, and started shooting. Everyone in sight was taken down. Students, protesters, people who were just passing through.

The only way to save yourself was find a way out through the buildings, or hide under the dead, but even this wasn’t very effective because once it was all over, they went through and shot them again to make sure they weren’t pretending. Then they gathered all the bodies into trucks and took them away.

To this day it’s still unknown how many people died. The estimate is thousands. 46 years later, people outside Mexico who know about it say 200.

The Mexican government said 4. The next day the biggest thing on the news was the weather. They pretended it never happened.

To this day, we remember it. We can’t let ourselves forget because it’s still happening, almost half a decade later.

Yesterday, teenage boys were driving from Guerrero to a football game. They were stopped by police, who assumed they were protesters and killed them all, along with their bus driver.

People from Iguala were reported to have been stopped by police and then disappeared. One of them was found in a river yesterday, with his face cut off and his eyes gouged out. The rest most like won’t be found.

I know tumblr is really big on social justice, so I’m begging you to please talk about it. Half a decade is way too long for us to be shot where we stand for speaking up. People need to know what’s happening.