Today is Bituun, the day before Tsaagan Sar (Mongolian New Year)!
Bituun is a much lower-key holiday than the celebrations tomorrow. Religious families may burn candles to symbolize a wish for enlightenment for all people. To start the new year clean, it is good luck to clean out your house, settle debts, forgive enemies, and of course make huge quantities of delicious buuz dumplings to eat tomorrow.
In the evening, the old year should be seen out in the company of your closest friends and family.
PSA TO MY FELLOW SECULAR WITCH FRIENDS (And anyone else who might be interested!): Some Dollar Stores currently have unmarked prayer candles. Get all the fun of prayer candles, minus the religious iconography. Sigil your candles, make your own prayer candles to your own gods/goddesses, whatever! These are so great, I’m going to pick up 94580493 of them before they sell out.
I know this is a little late when it comes to Hanukkah, but it is possible at most schools to get a religious exemption for candle lighting in student housing! It took talking to couple people but I have a form that allows me to light Hanukkah and Shabbos candles now. Advocate for your right to a fulfilling Jewish life!
Full disclosure: I’m writing this while listening to Paranoid, by Black Sabbath. I usually don’t write while listening to music, but the other day I the clearest thought I’ve had in seven years.
I was buying a religious candle and a quart of motor oil at the corner bodega and the old woman behind the register handed me my change and I tried to say thank you, but instead blurted out, “I need to start listening to more Sabbath.” And the lady just glimmered and gleamed and said, “Don’t we all, honey.”
So tonight I start. Oh sweet Lord thank you for this lush fuzz bounty!
I felt weird about Dave Letterman retiring. I dunno why. Probably the relentless march of time and all that. Sure, I loved Letterman as a kid, like all 40 something white dudes did, but I haven’t watched Dave in almost twenty five years, so it didn’t really matter… in short I didn’t wanna watch the Last Show cuz the musical guest was the Foo Fighters and… yeah. That kinda summed up the whole thing. I mean we all love Dave Grohl. but jebus dude. Don’t be so sincere and available. Know how to sell out. Take a cue from Ozzy. Sell out, but don’t give a fuck about it. Have some self respect and hate yourself a little. It’ll help musically too.
Anyway, Letterman is gone and I wrote a poem about it because writing poems about popular culture cancels it out and then my brain can exist in the silent roar of these delicious Sabbath riffs.
The king is dead long live the king throughout the countryside may he reign infinite on rerun TV
long live his BS rock star band may they dissipate in the greasy weather of time
the smiling commercials lament and coo but in the end the supple hiss of darkness blooms and we’re all slow dancing with the dazzling cosmos
Ahhh! A love sated with late nite snacks
I love you all madly! Your friend in Christ - Jade