I understand the thinking behind the “but asexuality is close to celibacy so shouldn’t the religious communities love you?” argument, but that’s not how it happened for me in the real world.
I’m not out at my church. I know my church is homophobic, so to test the waters for attitudes toward asexuality I waited until the topic of homosexuality came up and suggested hypothetically what if there was a person who didn’t feel sexual attraction. We went around a few times on specifics and once we settled on my original definition, these were the opinions I got:
-Everyone has a sexual nature; it’s God’s gift to the human race for pleasure in marriage and for procreation. The idea of an asexual person is absurd.
-Someone claiming to not feel sexual attraction is repressing the sexual nature given to them by God. It’s as bad as saying God made a mistake when He created you.
-Unless someone is specifically giving up marriage (and therefore sex) for the ministry, and has been so long without it that he’s trained himself not to think about it, there’s nobody that doesn’t want sex.
-People who don’t want sex are being selfish toward their future partners.
-They’ll want sex eventually.
-Maybe they’re just scared.
-Celibacy is a command for us to follow until marriage. Until we marry we are to focus on the things of the Lord. So I see what you’re getting at, but no, nobody just doesn’t have sexual attraction. God built it into everyone for the purpose of procreation.
-I don’t see how this is actually hurting anyone. Maybe God’s called them to be single.
-[shooting down the previous person] But nobody just doesn’t have sexual feelings.
-Being like that is worse than homosexuality. At least a [slur] can be converted back to God. But a person like that would have to have their head so far in the sand they’d never see the light of day. They’d be so self-deluded that they wouldn’t even understand the concept of straight, marital love.
So no, my religious community doesn’t actually love this part of me. There’s one friend I have in the church who knows and supports me, and he keeps his mouth shut.
Anyway, this is just an example of a small-town church’s view on asexuality. I’m sure not all churches are like this, but I’m sure there are too many churches (and mosques and shrines and temples and lodges and synagogues, etc.) that are.
Asexuals, reblog with your own religious experiences?