relevant to my past

  • thorin: he looks more like a grocer than a burglar
  • bilbo: What the fuck did you just fucking say about me, you little bitch? I’ll have you know I graduated top of my class in conkers, and I’ve been involved in numerous secret raids on the Sackville-Baggins. I will wipe you the fuck out with precision the likes of which has never been seen before on this Earth, mark my fucking words. You think you can get away with saying that shit to me? Think again, fucker. As we speak I am contacting my secret network of spies across Middle-Earth and your sorry ass is being traced right now so you better prepare for the storm, maggot. The storm that wipes out the pathetic little thing you call your life. I can be anywhere, anytime, and I can kill you in over seven hundred ways, and that’s just with my bare hands. Not only am I extensively trained in unarmed combat, but I have access to the entire arsenal of the Shire Corps and I will use it to its full extent to wipe your miserable ass off the face of the continent, you little shit. If only you could have known what unholy retribution your little “clever” comment was about to bring down upon you, maybe you would have held your fucking tongue. I will shit fury all over you and you will drown in it. You’re fucking dead, kiddo.

“To solve a mystery, you sometimes need to take risks. Isn’t that right?”

↳ Happy Birthday, Sandy! °˖ ✧◝(○ ヮ ○)◜✧˖ °


I was going through my photos and remembered that I met the wonderful @thatsthat24 when he was JD in heathers! (And I may have been Heather Chandler. I’m not ashamed.)

I’ve been to almost everything this wonderful human being has been in besides ultimate story time (which I regret not going to, but my anxiety was winning that battle that day.)

I still remember how that show struck a chord in my heart, and it’s so relevant now because of my past attempts.

No one deserves to be forgotten. I remember that every time I watch one of your videos, Thomas. I can truly smile when I watch your videos.

We never know the wine we are becoming while we are being crushed like grapes.

Henri Nouwen 

So relevant to this past year of my life. After all this time of being crushed, I better be turning into some real good wine. 

anonymous asked:

You got this, dress in something nice but something that makes you feel comfortable and confident, drink water so your mouth isn't dry, good luck!!!

thanks broh, i got all my talking points done i just gotta do more research into the company etc. it’s an office job that’s relevant to my degree somewhat its just gettin past that debilitating anxiety u feel me??

anonymous asked:


help them

Meet The Parents

Originally posted by lawlliets

Request from @kinginkblot: Hi. Can i request a Chanyeol scenario where he meets his gf’s parents for the first time (she’s adopted) and they act very strictly towards him but in the end accept him? Thanks. I hope it’s not a problem if i request a few more in a couple of weeks.

Word Count: 2750

Note: I always try and make my scenarios quite general so everyone can read it and not only a few people that can relate. This isn’t only relevant for this scenario but for all my past and future ones too xo

Keep reading

The Empress and the Rebel

Original writing prompt:   “Write a romantic comedy. Difficulty: both lovers are emotionally mature and have excellent communication skills.”

SHE is gowned in a black dress sewn with tiny emeralds, rubies, sapphires too small to detract from the darkness of her gown, instead giving it the illusion of a rainbow sheen. The gown falls modestly to the floor around her legs, and covers her bodice completely, but is incongruously backless. A thin gold circlet surrounds her head, set in front with a diamond the size of an eye. Her golden chair is set with cushions also gold-dipped.

She is sitting at one end of a marble table clothed in silk damasked with the tracery of ravens; a table long enough to separate her from the other side by further than a man could lunge in a single motion.

HE is huge, muscular, a full head taller than her, clad only in a thin white loincloth; and he is chained to a solid stone chair on the other side of the silk-clothed marble table. His face is clean-shaven, and somebody has braided silver flowers into his flowing brown locks.

MAN: I swear upon my father’s bones that I will not attack you if you remove my chains.

The WOMAN’s voice is prim in reply.

WOMAN: My father may also have died too early, Mr. Thoron, but when I was a child, His Grim Majesty recited to me every night from our family’s accumulated list of guidelines. Rules thirteen through seventen are quite clear about how to behave in the presence of an attractive captured hero… forget I said ‘attractive’. I mean, you are, of course, but… damn it, I’m making a fool of myself, aren’t I.

MAN: Maybe a little.

WOMAN: Hold your tongue, wretch.

MAN: Thoron holds his tongue for no one! But in all seriousness, your Grim Majesty, my own people also have ideas about guidelines for dating. There aren’t supposed to be chains. At least, not on the first date.

The WOMAN taps her fingers thoughtfully on the table.

WOMAN: There seems to be some cultural distance between us.

MAN: One could say that, yes.

WOMAN: Is this really… dating? I captured you. I now own you. You’re my harem slave, not a, a…

MAN: We’re seated at a nice marble table waiting for a chef to cook our food. I am reasonably sure this is a date.

The WOMAN covers her face in her hands.

WOMAN: It is, isn’t it. Oh, god, I’m on a date.

MAN: And you chained your date to a chair.

WOMAN: Silence, slave!

MAN: You know what they say about women who have to chain their men to heavy stone objects.

WOMAN: But I'm… I’m not…

MAN: I can’t help but wonder if you also intend to keep me chained down while… inviting me in for coffee.

WOMAN: I… yes, I suppose I do. But if you’re not restrained, you might…

MAN: Ravish your majesty’s fair form?

WOMAN: Escape. Look you, don’t think I don’t understand what you’re up to! You’re trying to seduce me! Yes, I know, I started it, but you’re trying to seduce me back only so that you can get away and rejoin your army!

MAN: Maybe I’d ravish you first and then escape… you’re blushing. Ha, you’re actually blushing!

WOMAN: You should perhaps ask yourself if it is wise to taunt the Grim Empress when you are her captive!

MAN: You commanded that I be taken as your harem slave and you’re blushing because I talked about ravishing you. You’re not… you’re not a virgin, are you?

WOMAN: Oh god no. I’ve had the best courtesans in the Empire, male and female. So you’d better not slack off in, in…

MAN: You can’t even say it. 'In bed.’ Go ahead, try to say it.

WOMAN: What’s wrong with me? I’m the Grim Empress. I don’t do shy.

MAN: Perhaps I shouldn’t be asking, but… do you do serious relationships?

WOMAN: Not… yet. Oh my god, I can’t believe I’m thinking about this.

MAN: With respect, your Grim Majesty, if a long-term relationship is what you have in mind, you might want to consider how to best proceed past this point and whether chains should be involved.

The WOMAN looks away.

WOMAN: We could have a long-term relationship with you in chains.

MAN: It might end up somewhat one-sided. Empress Teria, I’ll level with you. I don’t have any relevant traumas in my past, so I’d probably think it was hot the first time you tied me up and had your way with me. It’d be less hot the thirtieth time.

WOMAN: You presume much.

MAN: You named me your harem slave.

WOMAN: I did. And let’s be clear on one thing, you will be… what was that phrase you used? Something coffee?

MAN: Invited in for coffee.

WOMAN: Is that seriously what they call it in the Unconquered Territory? How does that even make sense? What does coffee have to do with sex? Is the coffee a metaphor, for, for… I can’t figure out what the hell that’d be a metaphor for.

MAN: No, it’s literal. The notion is, you’re drinking with somebody at a bar. You head home together, and when you get there, whoever’s house it is asks if the other person wants to come in for coffee. If they say yes, they’ve entered your house and that’s one step closer to the two of you having sex.

WOMAN: You Lightsiders and your crazy taboos! Why all the indirectness? Not that it isn’t cute, but just… pay her, blackmail him, kidnap somebody. Or, I don’t know, fucking talk about what you actually want from each other, maybe?

MAN: So what do you actually want from me, your Grim Majesty?

The WOMAN stares down at the table.

WOMAN: I want that over-muscled body in my bed. I may want a long-term relationship. And maybe, god, I don’t know, you were very nearly smart enough to defeat me. I want you as my loyal lieutenant, and, and, shut your mouth, I’m still talking. I might want you to father the next heir to the Grim Throne.

MAN: You understand that there are parts of that you can’t get just by chaining me in convenient positions.

WOMAN: I know. I can’t even get everything I want from you as a harem slave that way.

MAN: So, if I understood you correctly, your philosophy of life is based on just directly trying to get what you want. How will you obtain what you desire, your Grim Majesty?

WOMAN: Through… winning your heart by being really good in bed with you? Ugh, no, you don’t have to say it. I wouldn’t believe you if you pretended to be that easy.

MAN: I’m not. For me, it’s about… well, it’s about ideals.

WOMAN: Fucking Lightsiders! Ideals, really? Can’t it be about power and wealth and having your way with the pliant form of the Grim Empress herself?

MAN: No. I’m sorry.

WOMAN: I don’t suppose this is as simple as my asking you what you’d want in exchange.

The MAN looks down at the table.

WOMAN: You want your homeland, the country of Yoruun, freed from the Grim Empire. That's… not on the table.

MAN: It’s, it’s not just Yoruun. You want me as your loyal lieutenant? I’d have to believe in what you were doing. In everything you were doing.

WOMAN: This is the Grim Empire, you don’t have to be that loyal. A certain amount of trying to bend the Empire to your own whims is expected, it could include lower taxes or something…

(Both of them are silent.)

WOMAN: This isn’t going to work out, is it.

The MAN smiles.

MAN: Maybe not, but I’m not giving up just yet.

(Waiters silently enter, bringing with them plates of food.)

MAN: However, you need to at least unchain my hands enough to let me pick up the silverware.

WOMAN: Oh, we have slaves for that here!

anonymous asked:

how are you bi when you've never shown interest in boys ???? like, dafuq?? ???? ?

While there are certain genitals i’d rather not touch (which is perfectly OK BTW!) I- in fact- do like boys and girls, as well as other genders!

Personality matters a lot to me, and because of this, I’ve never had a boyfriend because all the boys I’ve met are complete assholes. 

While i also have trust issues with boys because of my past, it isn’t relevant to my attraction to boys, and doesn’t affect it at all. I am mostly attracted to girls, however, like i mentioned before, all boys I’ve met are complete assholes, or they’re simply not my type.

Maybe I’ll have a boyfriend in the future, but I don’t think it’s possible. If anyone else has any more questions, feel free to ask!