- thorin: he looks more like a grocer than a burglar
- bilbo: What the fuck did you just fucking say about me, you little bitch? I’ll have you know I graduated top of my class in conkers, and I’ve been involved in numerous secret raids on the Sackville-Baggins. I will wipe you the fuck out with precision the likes of which has never been seen before on this Earth, mark my fucking words. You think you can get away with saying that shit to me? Think again, fucker. As we speak I am contacting my secret network of spies across Middle-Earth and your sorry ass is being traced right now so you better prepare for the storm, maggot. The storm that wipes out the pathetic little thing you call your life. I can be anywhere, anytime, and I can kill you in over seven hundred ways, and that’s just with my bare hands. Not only am I extensively trained in unarmed combat, but I have access to the entire arsenal of the Shire Corps and I will use it to its full extent to wipe your miserable ass off the face of the continent, you little shit. If only you could have known what unholy retribution your little “clever” comment was about to bring down upon you, maybe you would have held your fucking tongue. I will shit fury all over you and you will drown in it. You’re fucking dead, kiddo.
You got this, dress in something nice but something that makes you feel comfortable and confident, drink water so your mouth isn't dry, good luck!!!