relevant to many people


Things get broken, and sometimes they get repaired, and in most cases, you realize that no matter what gets damaged, life rearranges itself to compensate for your loss, sometimes wonderfully.

A Little Life, Hanya Yanagihara.  

The Data Theory

This theory was originally developed by derekscorner and revised last night. I delve into the theory a little bit myself and came up with something pretty incredible. Again, most of this theory is in credit to derekscorner. All I’ve done is branch it out a little more. You can read the original post along with what I came up with here.

Kingdom Hearts is never entirely clear on how it’s universe works. The only trustworthy information you can get is spoken by characters in cut scenes, usually rather vague and said with symbolism, or it’s hidden somewhere in the “Reports” you recover throughout all of the games.

Because of this, the game can constantly flex it’s rules to bring about more scenarios and fix discrepancies it might have had in the past. But assuming, with the release 1.5+2.5 for the PS4, all of those discrepancies were fixed and the game is official, theories about this game will now become all the more relevant. And sensible.

Most things in Kingdom Hearts can be explained away in a rather convoluted essay. However, there are still select few scenarios that fans can’t seem to tackle because it wouldn’t make sense for how the game’s universe operates. One of these leading scenarios is the issue of bringing the lost Nobodies back into existence. I’m talking about Roxas, Naminé, and Xion.

Keep reading

@saingirl101 @starsherit @blackwatch-jess

Reaper: …you ever wonder why we’re here?
Widowmaker: don’t do this to me right now.

On Route 66:

Reaper: oh joy, another empty box canyon.

Talon lackey: this is our new ship! We call it “The Raptor”.
Reaper: …kinda looks like a puma to me.
Talon lackey: wait - what. What the hell is a puma?

Talon boss: okay so I’m not MAD that you failed the museum heist -
Reaper: Widow did it.
Widowmaker: excuse me?

Soldier: 76: Look we could really use you on our side -
Reaper: Sounds like a blue team problem.
Soldier: 76: …
Reaper: …
Soldier: 76: better than your red team problems, Sarge.

someone sent me a very nice ask that i’m going to answer in a bit but a minorly relevant part of it involved pointing out something that many people have observed: the gradual reducing of ‘me and phil’ and ‘me and dan’ to ‘we’ and ‘our’ - and like, just.

imagine the conversation that must have led to that?

imagine dan and phil some time in mid to late 2016, trying to figure out how this would go: how do they tell us? how much do they tell us? how tightly do they guard it? how do they keep us out?

and imagine one of them just quietly suggesting: or we could not

because how exhausting must that have been, you know? and for them, at the time, probably less exhausting than the alternative for opening themselves up to a perception and pressure and invasive inquiry into their relationship that they weren’t ready to deal with; but still, something can be the lesser of two evils and still not feel very fun at all. 

how many years of taking selfies they didn’t post, of averting their eyes when they wanted to look, of fingers flexing to reach out and tease and tickle and poke and prod and then falling still at their sides?

they get that now, they get to have that. and i fully believe the conclusions drawn by minds more clever than mine in recent discussion on IDB: this is for them, this is not for us. this is not some prize we get for being good fans. this is themselves, taking some weight off their own shoulders. this does not mean they’re comfortable with us; it just means they’re done letting their discomfort rule their lives when it comes to all things on-camera and social media. 

we are the obstacle they had to work around, the way we take their memories and their life and twist it into our own, their aversion to that is the mountain they had to climb without really knowing what the top would look like - and they didn’t do it for us. they did it for themselves.

though i guess the look down the other side wasn’t as scary as they once thought it was because they seem to have taken quite well to this post-baking universe where they post selfies with soft, satisfied smiles and like each other’s tweets and reach out and touch in gentle, surface ways when the urge strikes them and move to a new house together with a smile and an understanding that the conclusions our greedy minds will jump - that where there is one there is the other, that they’ll move together, that it would be downright silly to think they wouldn’t - to are exactly the right ones

so yeah. we and our. that’s nice. 

Pisces: The World is Delusional

**This post applies to those with a significant presence of piscean energy in your natal chart. Everyone has some piscean energy, so anyone is capable of relating to this post. However, it is more relevant and true for certain people. 

This many include those with personal planets in pisces, many planets in aspect to neptune/jupiter, planets in the 12th house, planets in taurus and libra*, or (possibly) planets in capricorn and leo*, especially if they make a 150 degree (inconjunction) aspect, and draconic placements in pisces (esp. draconic moon/venus in pisces). 

Pisces gets a lot of flack for being delusional, apathetic escapists. This sign seems to wander through life aimlessly.

The truth is, pisces has an incredible amount of raw, consuming desire for one very specific thing. However, the thing they want doesn’t exist in this reality.

Pisces, and neptune, is the gate to the universe. This includes every plane of existence and every possible reality. We live in an infinite universe where everything already exists. Even if the pisces can’t see this, they can sense worlds of endless beauty and magic just beyond reach. 

Movies, T.V. shows, music, books, and other exceptional constructs of fiction give us a glimpse of these alternate realities: universes more interesting, with the possibility of lives more fulfilling, than anything this world can ever offer. 

While Virgo finds beauty in the ordinary, Pisces can only see beauty in the extraordinary and transcendent. 

That’s because this is the true purpose of human existence. We were born to live extraordinary lives, be the heroes of our own stories, change the world, have superpowers, find the kind of love that makes us whole while tearing at our very souls, etc. 

Piscean delusion stems from painful clarity: they see what we were always meant to be, and what we’ve reduced ourselves to. 

They see people chasing things like sex, fast cars, popularity, relationships, boring jobs, fame, fortune, all the ‘best’ this world has to offer. They’ve been told that they should also chase these utterly boring, pointless things. Add to that the pointless wars, violence, people’s obsession with control, and you can see why Pisces are prone to shutting themselves away.

The only way to escape this hideous world is through death, and freedom from the cycle of reincarnation.

Pisces is the final sign of the zodiac because they have no desire to return, and any attachment they feel to anything in this world can never hold a candle to their burning desire to escape to a better reality. 

We see the world as it sees us: people see Pisces as delusional, apathetic escapists. Pisces sees everyone else as delusional (for thinking anything in this world is truly worth having) apathetic (for allowing war, destruction, and greed to destroy humanity) escapists (for trying to run from the truth that we were never meant to live for nine-to-five jobs, taxes, competition, whatever). 

(And tbh I have to side with Pisces on this one… They actually have an excellent point.)

Pisces may never be fulfilled in this life. The best they might do is find peace through detachment, and the knowledge that some day, some how, they will end up that better world. 

Meanwhile, they can channel that burning desire for something more into creating brilliant works of art and fiction. 

Pisces brings the knowledge, desire, and vision of a better world, before leaving. It’s up to the rest of the signs to make that a dream a reality. 

*See Mixing Colors

How to take an Essay from Good to Great

Hello, all!

I’ve just recently been writing my Extended Essay, and something I’ve noticed during the process is that this one thing can completely change how people read your essay, and consequently, can get you a much higher grade!

Have a Point. (No, really.)

The point you are making in your essay should have very little to do with the subject you’re writing it on. It sounds crazy, but trust me.

Let’s say this is your thesis: 

“Chemistry was the most influential area of science during the Enlightenment because of the drastic changes which allowed it to develop into modern chemical science.”

From here we can break it down into three parts: What, How, and Why.

WHAT are you claiming? (Chemistry was the most influential area of science.)

HOW do you know this? (Because through drastic change it evolved into modern chemical science.)

WHY is this relevant? (Uhhh…)

This is the trap that I see so many people fall into (and I have fallen into it myself a few times) when they try to write major essays. It’s the difference between a B and an A, or eventually in upper-level classes, the difference between a pass and a fail. So how do you fix it?

Figure out why you’re arguing the thesis. Why are you making the point in the first place, other than because the teacher says you have to? 

This would by my answer:

WHY is this relevant? Because the advancement of chemistry during the Enlightenment era shows that critical analysis of systems within the natural sciences is mandatory in order for evolution within the field. Science can’t progress if nobody is willing to question it.

This type of universal point is what will get people interested in your essay even if they can’t relate to something as specific as chemistry or the Enlightenment. And the great thing is, you only have to include it a few times in the essay (conclusion especially) to make it work! You still prove your original thesis just like you would normally… this is just a little sprinkle of greatness on top. This is the best advice I have to give you on essays.

It works. It’s strange, but it works.

-Alyssa (ib-study-and-tea)

Doing this retrospective on Superman, I’ve come to feel strongly that this recent emphasis on the ‘social crusader’ Superman is at least in part misguided. It seems to me that, if Wonder Woman serves the purpose of showing girls they can be strong, powerful, etc. and still womanly, Superman shows that a man can be strong, confident, and assertive, but also caring, kind, and emotional.

I get the appeal of the Golden Age Superman, and throwbacks to that era. A Superman that is openly disdainful, even outraged at corrupt politicians, social ills, and fascism seems like a relevant take on a character many people don’t appreciate. 

I even see the appeal of a macho, badass male fantasy. But, much as I like Batman, Rambo, and Terminator, those are other, very well-served characters, and I don’t see the point of making Superman less Superman and more like a traditional genre protagonist. 

Put bluntly, any superhero can be outraged over the evils of the world, and clench their jaws and be set on going balls to the walls against the perpetrators of whatever heinous crimes you’ve got. But a character who is focused on making peace, resolving conflict, and sympathizing with his enemies seems much rarer–probably why Wonder Woman’s characterization has been less ‘peace!’ and more ‘SWORDS!’ of late. But DC has plenty of warrior women who can sword first, ask questions later–to the point that fandom will even confuse some of them, like the great Barda Free, for Wondy.

That Lawful Good nature that Clark and Diana share, that uniqueness, shouldn’t be shelved for trendy politics or more conventional storytelling or out of concern that they’ll come off as soft. It should be embraced.

Every time my Kane Chronicles post picks up some notes I always get these people who try to justify it with things like “ohh you know Ancient Egyptian culture and mythology are just not as well known as Greek, Roman, and Nordic”. First I call bullshit bc imo no one knew shit about Nordic culture and mythology until Marvel, the Avengers and Loki went big, which is whatever. Second, did anybody stop and think if that claim is true, why is it the case? Is it bc all these culture are white? And Ancient Egyptian figures (who are not white) were mostly relevant to people (ie Cleopatra in the Hollywood adaptation, and in many other art form depiction that predated it) only once they were whitewashed? Or because of Judeo-Christian influences like the 10 commandments. But actually?? There were so many amazing?? achievements and advancements?? in ancient Egypt?? Like wow hot damn. SO isn’t this a really good opportunity to make these kind of book series more well known instead of excusing past problematic shit so we can celebrate these achievements and the interesting intricate culture now? Tbh thats the main reasons for both of these post, not to call people out but to address an issue so idk

The Larents Series - Bathtime

Lmao this really doesn’t have anything to do with anything going on fandom-wise. I started this damn picture a moth ago - as a practise in perspectives, but with work responsibilities I just haven’t had the time to finish it until now. So, here you go.

It’s been too long since the last proper Larents, sorry x-x


this might be long but people in the true crime community have fucking feelings. we have feelings okay? you people against us need to realise that, you may not like what we like but at least don’t be a dick.. there’s no reason for it. it’s just stupid that you’re coming into OUR community and starting shit for no fucking reason, we never did shit to you guys; you guys have your own interests and we have ours. y'all have your own opinions and we have ours. that’s the way the world fucking works. you have NO say in our lives, you’re not even relevant, many people have to say this (not just me; definitely not just me) just so you can stay the fuck out of our business. let’s say, we go on to your blog and criticise every single thing you have and we hate on you, you wouldn’t like that much would you? no. so there’s no reason you should come to us and be total dicks to us. okay, please fuck off. thank you. moral of this fucking story, PEOPLE HAVE FUCKING FEELINGS

Originally posted by fael811

I would like to point out that polyamory CAN work for people who view themselves as insecure. Seriously.

For one thing, many relevant insecurities aren’t really about one’s relationships at all. Many people are ACTUALLY insecure about their looks, their intelligence, their job, their weight, or any number of problems that may affect relationships, but aren’t based on them. Take some time to consider what you’re actually worried about.

Secondly, I think people jump too quickly to solving insecurity by trying to affect the other person’s behavior. In my experience, all you have to do is bring it up.

Instead of deciding you don’t want your boyfriend dating anyone, merely state to your partner, “I feel insecure” and maybe tack on “because I think your new girlfriend is prettier than me” and then let it be a reciprocal discussion. (For me, this tends to involve flopping onto the bed and yelling “TELL ME HOW CUTE I AM.” Because I’m cute as heck.)

This might seem obvious, but when you’re raised in a culture that assumes monogamy as the default, it really isn’t.


Carol Ann Crawford, dialect coach for the show Outlander, demonstrates many Scottish accents. (Unusually for a many-dialects video, the comments section has many people with the relevant varieties saying that it’s pretty good.)

anonymous asked:

What exactly is scripting? I kinda think I do it but I'm not completely sure.

Scripting is preparing speech in advance. Scripts can be echolalic in nature, i.e. you may compose a script composed of things you’ve heard before. Scripts can also be your own words, just practiced in advance. Typically, the practicing is done inside your head. For instance, when I have to make a phone call, I go over and over what I’m going to say in my head. I prepare my greeting and why I’m calling. I also prepare for possible questions/responses. Then when I’m on the phone, I use the words I already had in my head. Some autistic people using scripting occasionally while others script everything they say before speaking. This can be part of why autistic people may be slow to respond or not speak often during conversation. Often it takes us so long to prepare our script that our point is no longer relevant to conversation. Many autistic people also have prepared scripts for certain types of situations that they use over and over again. 

I hope this makes sense!


Introduction Post

Hello everyone,

Some of you in the fandom may know me, and many of you may not. I’m Haylee (personal account is @fanglets), and I am pretty obsessed with Subaru Sakamaki, who is my favorite character in the franchise by far. I’ve been in the Diabolik Lovers fandom since 2013, but I took a hiatus around 2015 and 2016 when not much new content was being generated and the fandom began to stagnate. The fandom is very different now from how it used to be, and I guess my intention with creating this new Subaru-specific blog is to be sort of a “filter” for the content in the fandom. Often enough I find it difficult to find relevant and interesting posts just searching through the tags, and I know many people who feel the same in this regard. As such, I hope with this blog that I can help fellow Subaru lovers find the content that interests them rather than, like me, ending up leaving the fandom or becoming bored. I also want to try tracking down all the scattered resources regarding Subaru and bring it all into one place to make it easy for fans to locate.

I can’t make many promises because I know I’m not the most reliable blogger, but I hope that this blog can be of some use to others and bring Subaru fans closer together.

Thank you if you’ve cared to read this far, and I hope that I can do great things with this blog for other fans, too. For good measure, here is a lovely sprite of Subaru’s sunshine smile:

Tokyo Ghoul and Mental Illness

Kaneki/Haise are known for hallucinating separate entities representing other sides of himself, and it can be seen in both Tokyo Ghoul and Tokyo Ghoul:re. People have come up with all sorts of theories for this, from Dissociative Identity Disorder (multiple personalities) to schizophrenia (delusions and hallucinations). I’ve studied mental illness in psychology, so I wouldn’t mind trying to figure this all out. I’ve also seen theories for other characters, so if I find anything worth noting I’ll do it.

This will be difficult to determine. Fully qualified psychologists can diagnose mental illness, but usually this takes many sessions of meeting with the client and getting to know them to find what criteria they fall into in terms of mental well-being. We do know Kaneki/Haise very well through reading the manga and examining his thoughts and actions, however many assumptions have to be made as we can’t ask Kaneki/Haise any questions personally.

Kaneki goes though many traumatic things in his life (eg. child abuse, becoming an orphan, transformation into a ghoul, torture), and living through such things would provoke mental illness in a regular person. Trauma, however, can bring up many different disorders, the most common being anxiety, depression, post-traumatic stress disorder, dissociative identity disorder, borderline personality disorder and in some cases psychosis and schizophrenia. The only relevant illnesses are PTSD, schizophrenia and DID.

Before I continue, many people tend to think that some disorders, such as dissociative identity disorder and schizophrenia, are the same thing. This is NOT the case. All mental illnesses are different. Some may share a couple of similar characteristics, but they are NOT THE SAME. Now, you may read on.

Post-traumatic stress disorder is characterised by psychological damage after a traumatic event in one’s life. Symptoms may include uncontrollable and unwanted memories of the event, avoiding things that remind the sufferer of the event, flashbacks and nightmares, symptoms of panic or anxiety attacks (racing pulse, sweating, shaking, etc.), angry outbursts, difficulty sleeping and feeling tense. These actually fit Shirazu’s scenario in Tokyo Ghoul:re chapter 34, and I’ve seen other’s comment on this, but it doesn’t apply to Haise/Kaneki.

Now, we get to schizophrenia. This is a very serious mental health condition and it’s very rare. There are many misconceptions about people suffering from schizophrenia, and it shouldn’t be joked about. That being said, in people with schizophrenia, hallucinations (such as hearing, seeing, smelling or sensing things that aren’t there), delusions (false beliefs, eg. “the Harry Potter books were written especially for me”), paranoia (feeling as thought someone/something intends to do you harm), depressive symptoms, disorganised speech/behaviour and negative symptoms (apathy, lack of speech, emotional flatness) are present. I don’t feel like this is incredibly relevant to any of the characters, and it’s a shame people class Haise/Kaneki as having this disorder solely because of this hallucinations. I completely reject this theory, no doubts about it.

A more common and rational belief is that Kaneki/Haise suffers from dissociative identity disorder, in which the sufferer has two or more distinct and separate identities that take control over the persons behaviour. While the other personality is in control, the sufferer has no recollection of his/her own personal memories. These alter personalities can be a different race, sex and/or age to the person with the disorder. The person can suffer depressive tendencies, symptoms from sleep disorders (waking up at night, sleepwalking, trouble falling asleep), compulsions and psychotic-like symptoms (such as hallucinations). This all sounds very much like Haise, and I don’t entirely reject the theory that he (and even Kaneki) developed this, but at times it seems a little off. I’ll elaborate on that.

Let’s talk about defence mechanisms. Defence mechanisms are perfectly healthy and are used when one has an inner conflict. They are usually unconscious and many people utilize them without realising.
It is more likely that Haise/Kaneki uses the defence mechanism “dissociation”, as he doesn’t exhibit “switching”, the process where someone with DID swaps personalities every few days, weeks or months.

He also unconsciously admitted some past “denial” (refusal to accept truth or fact) in the last chapter, where he remembers his mother’s abuse, despite always speaking positively of her.

All the symptoms can be rationalised, except for the hallucinations.
If they aren’t the result of a mental illness, they are probably just a technique of effect and symbolism.

When Kaneki was seen as Rize, it was meant to symbolise him accepting the ghoul kind of lifestyle she led, where she would kill for food and defence. During Kaneki’s fight with Arima, he saw a younger version of himself playing alone and it led him to “rest a bit” with him, foreshadowing Haise coming to life. Now, in chapter 53, he sees a young Shironeki instead, explaining things he kept deep down inside and revealing he’s “had enough of dreaming” saying "goodnight, Haise” which has made many fans consider Kaneki coming back, which is what I’m betting on Shironeki, who decided to rest, has now had enough of dreaming.

Many people say this may just be Haise learning to deal with his problems in a different way, but the fact that the two child hallucinations used similar words/ideas (“rest”, “goodnight”, it’s all about “sleep”), it seems as though this really may be the end of Haise, or at least that it’s coming soon.

In conclusion, Kaneki and Haise’s experience with personality transformation and hallucinations may not be the result of a mental illness, but instead the side effects of other occurrences. For instance, many people do not take into consideration that a large portion of Kaneki’s brain was damaged by Arima in their last battle. Due to his regenerative abilities, the cells may have reformed, however all cells containing memories that were destroyed were far gone. All new brain cells were completely devoid of information and memory. While many take his transformation into Haise as a personality disorder, it is more likely Kaneki was conditioned to recognise himself as Haise after the amnesia. There is a possibility it may be the result of DID, but there’s also the possibility that it isn’t, and you can’t be completely sure about either.

If you have something to add or any questions, feel free to ask me about it.
I apologise for any errors, thank you for reading.

anonymous asked:

So maybe not that relevant now, but I wonder how many people yelling at Kubo for just barely sexualizing Yur!o in his Welcome to the Madness PV like Fr33. Yknow, the fan service show of hs boys (granted they're all about 18 now or at least assumably)

Ppl who actually get salty abt this shit clearly haven’t watched any other anime bc that’s legit like 90% of what anime is

anonymous asked:

"the average purple cutpurse wouldn't make enough in a lifetime of honest toil to pay off their debt to society" I realize anon said this not you but you didn't address it so do you by any chance know what they're talking about? Is this about that thing where cut-pursing prevalence makes people afraid when they go out so every individual thief is partially responsible? Doesn't that philosophy make it a violent crime though?

For one thing Anitam doesn’t execute for theft unless the losses are in excess of 100,000ni or it’s a third offense and one of the first two involved violence. So this hypothetical cutpurse has been having an unusually hard time staying on the right side of the law. But I don’t think the numbers add up, all the same - I think the relevant thing here in many peoples’ thinking is opportunity cost. If we execute a criminal that’s one more baby for somebody; we’re evaluating people not just on their net impact on others but also on the impact on others that their replacement will have. 

I disagree with this approach. It’d justify more than just being harsh on thieves; if you really believed this and took it seriously you might pay people to commit suicide (or pay people to accept a high risk of death in some absurd dystopian population-trimming lottery). Lives have value, to the people living them and the people around them. Living in a society that has respect for life has value. We know that, which is why we do think a dystopian population-trimming lottery sounds horrifying. We’re just really good at shutting off our empathy when it comes to criminals, taking one look at someone and saying ‘oh, they’re a drag on society, let’s give some family another purple baby this spring’ instead of extending any empathy or thoughtfulness.

Sometimes I feel like theme makers have no rights.

Why? Let’s see, theme makers generally have to:

  • answer things in their inbox politely on a regular basis
  • fix bugs on their coding as soon as possible
  • post codes on a regular basis (before people start going into the inbox and demand that they do so)
  • do all of this, as well as juggling whatever commitments they have in real life, such as studying, or having a job, or actually having a life.

In addition, here is a general process that goes behind making a theme:

  1. Plan the theme. Draw inspiration from various places, make sure you’re original enough, or just whack it and sketch something out.
  2. Open the tumblr customiser, and start translating the idea into code.
  3. Fuck something up, then spend ages trying to fix it, only to then break something else and end up having to fix that, too.
  4. Debug the code and add your credits, trying to make sure that people can’t delete them too easily.
  5. Code meta options into the theme and painstakingly design a colour scheme that works, while making sure that your booleans are all properly coded, that your colour options all work, and that common add-ons (music player, updates tab, freehostedscripts, etc) don’t fuck up when you install them.
  6. Make previews. Find appropriate posts of each post type to reblog, look for suitable header/sidebar/background images, photoshop accordingly if needed, test dimensions.
  7. Write feature lists and options, customisation notes, theme documentation, etc.
  8. Post the theme, ensure that your screenshot shows off the best parts of the theme, tag it appropriately, submit it to relevant places, etc.

And yet, many theme makers also have to:

  • deal with things like people removing the credit and other people stealing their coding
  • deal with customisation questions that they don’t want to respond to, or questions about things that have been asked over and over again and are written on the FAQ
  • deal with rude people demanding that their answer their message and/or fix their bug right now, at once, immediately
  • deal with even ruder people telling them off for being rude when the question was on their FAQ or in the theme documentation
  • deal with people demanding that they re-publish ______ theme that has already been revamped/deleted

Keep reading

regarding aesthetic attraction

so, i’ve seen a few posts floating around trying to differentiate between the various types of attraction (i.e. sexual, romantic, sensual, aesthetic) (e.g. this post) and there’s one they’re consistently explaining incorrectly: aesthetic attraction. (no offense to the OPs, i know it wasn’t intentional.)

it’s not just “appreciation something (or in this case someone) exists,” or a sort of respect that someone has aesthetic appeal for everyone else but not for you. it isn’t as indifferent, as passive as that, like you couldn’t care less.

but, until around two years ago when i discovered i was demi (very shortly after learning the term itself) and started looking for resources for myself, i never knew that. and i suspect the majority of the population doesn’t, either. i spent my developing, high school, and even college years completely unaware that aesthetic attraction was a phenomenon that existed and that was distinct from sexual attraction. after all, for most people, sexual and aesthetic attraction are inseparable from one another; they’re sort of a packaged deal.

but for the ace spectrum folks, that’s not necessarily the case. and i want to shed some light on the subject of aesthetic attraction for that reason, because i wish someone had told me about it a long time ago. 

aesthetic attraction isn’t just acknowledgement that someone has aesthetic appeal, as i said. it isn’t “wow that person exists.” it’s more like “wow that person is very nice to look at. i REALLY want to keep looking at that person. and then i probably want to look at that person again tomorrow.”

i read an article once comparing the sensation to that of watching a great sunset, but i’m going to use a thunderstorm analogy instead because i think it illustrates the point a little better. if you’re inside your house/apartment and you hear thunder (unless you live in an area where these are very commonplace, i suppose), you’re probably going to race to the nearest window or out the front door to watch the lightning strike. it’s so exciting and pleasing to look at that you’d stop what you’re doing to dedicate your attention to it, even if only for a few seconds.

that’s what it’s like with aesthetic attraction.

in the same way you might go slightly out of your way to look at a thunderstorm (or sunset), you might peer around the heads of your friends in the middle of a conversation or take the long way to your class or office if it meant you could check out a person you were aesthetically attracted to. in the same way you’d set your desktop or lock screen to a brilliant lightning strike or a beach sunset because you want to look at it more often, when you come across a picture of this person you’ll want to stare. to save it so you can come back to it later.

it’s not about wanting to have sex with them or kiss them or start a relationship with them, or even touch them: it’s attraction based on appearance alone. but it’s a lot stronger than what some misinformation would have us believe, that it’s just a blasé acknowledgement. with aesthetic attraction, there’s an almost magnetic pull to continue looking at the person in question, a feeling of being drawn to the sight of them. if you’re indifferent about how a person looks, you aren’t attracted to them, period. not even aesthetically.

for non-ace-spectrum people, aesthetic attraction often goes hand in hand with sexual attraction. and that’s why if your friend can’t stop staring at their crush, they’re probably also daydreaming about making out with and/or banging them. and the idea that there’s an inextricable connection between the two, between admiring someone’s looks and lusting after them, is so prevalent that there’s basically never been an argument made against it. but let me assure you: they are not inextricably connected. many people can feel aesthetic attraction without sexual attraction, ace spectrum individuals in particular.

if i’d known this as a teenager, i would have spent a lot fewer years feeling confused and freakishly different from my friends, like my brain was just wired wrong. not understanding in the slightest why i could agree someone was “hot” and like to stare at them as much as the next person, but not have any desire jump in the sack with them. always shrugging off my lack of lustful feelings and eventually simply coming to the inaccurate conclusion that “i must not be attracted to them after all” or “they must not be my type after all.” when the reality was, my friends’ idea of “hot” was much different than mine. i just didn’t know that at the time.

so, i wanted to share my insight on the matter, because if there’s even a chance it can help someone avoid living through that confusion and self-doubt, it’d be worth it to me. to all the yet-to-discover-themselves ace spectrum folks, especially, i really hope this post and other resources like it can help you understand yourselves a little better.