relentless fire

AOS Fic - In Darkness, Part VIII

For @gracieminabox

In Darkness chapter index.


Y’all know the warnings by now.

McKirk, ‘cause it’s always McKirk.

But often faltering feet
Come surest to the goal;
And they who walk in darkness meet
The sunrise of the soul

~ Henry Van Dyke

They isolate the pathogen the very next day.

An undocumented, encapsulated protist, Jim learns from Dr. M’Benga. Infecting the erythrocytes and inducing massive hemolytic anemia.

Jim understands less than half of that, but Dr. M’Benga’s words send a shiver of dread down his spine all the same. “When can I see him again?” he asks through dry lips.

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Please welcome MissMil!

Hi everybody!  It’s finally my chance to repay the favor of introduction that @warp6 did for me a few months ago.  It’s my great pleasure to welcome @missmil to our Tumblr STV / JC fandom.  Many of you will recognize her from her writings on AO3 and and if you haven’t had the pleasure yet, please be sure to check her stuff out.   (

I’m going to attempt to list some folks here that I think she’d enjoy following and suggest you’ll want to follow her too.  I’m sure that I will be unintentionally missing a few, so please add to this!

MissMil, you’ll recognize some of the great AO3/ writers here whose reputations precede themselves and some of whom have become my own personal posse. @cheile​ (ugh, go read “Four” and you’ll understand),  @lodessa (the Khalessi herself), @mia-cooper​ (well, if you don’t know her by now….), @carlynroth whose OC series is the most elaborately wonderful thing I’ve seen, @katesfire82 who apparently started writing at age 9 and needs to publish those early works, @oh-punky​ who happens to be my mirror half and graces us with perfect vignettes when she finds the time as @starfleet-vs-maquis​, @capt-nyc (aka. Little Obsesssions who, as warp6 put it, will make you w e e p sweet tears of angst), @warp6 (aka. m_class) who really needs to update her latest series before I die in anticipation but I forgive her because she led me here, @notimejustwords (aka. northernexposure) who is an actual professional at this but is so gracious and helpful while she likely sits at home and shakes her head at the rest of us, @talsi74656 thanks again for the Prixin comp!  @rawkfemme author of the Tumblr fandom creation that is ‘Thumbelina’, @rikersexblouse (aka. R_S_B) who has a fantastic Paris Family series going + bonus OP/KJ yumminess, @offical-harry-kim is fairly new and run by someone else I should know but can’t put my finger on is all things Harry, @captacorn who is another Tom/B’Elanna afficianado, @missyhissy3, @ricepips who does the most amazing little JC ficlets, @kjaneway314 who just…is great all around.

@emmikamikatze and @supernovacoffee run the most amazing series of caps titled “How not to to look at your captain/first officer.”  These two will absolutely make every single day on Tumblr worth it. And are, apparently, a bottomless pit of prompts and support.

@breezebree runs @thisdayintrek, @mulgrewsprimedirective and @ReplicatedCoffee which are all fantastic.

Some of the most supportive folks that I really don’t know very well but have learned to love dearly for their “likes” and comments and content:  @keelydelane, @timequaked, @captainandhercorgi, @cxionbonan, @relentless-fire, @joyful-voyager, @ailtara, @weary-hearted-queen, @danakathrynjaneway

Other blogs that brighten my every day include: @capsfromtrek, @ds9vgrconfessions, @txtsfromthedeltaquadrant, @katemulgrew, @static-warp-bubble, @incorrectvoyquotes, 

Ok, I think I’m done.  Again, sorry if i missed anyone!  Welcome MissMil!  I’m so glad you found your way over here (and that now I’m not the newbee!).  Don’t be shy, everyone is great.  Post and tag and like and reblog and you’ll find your way ;-)  Big awkward hug for you!

I never used to care for the colour of my eyes.
They’re a rather uninspiring brown;
no one sings songs or writes poems about this particular shade.
They’re so dark they’re almost black;
the colour of something —once beautiful —destroyed by fire.

I never cared for the colour of my eyes
until I met you.
Yours are the exact same shade of brown,
here I am,
writing a poem about them.

Blue eyes are compared to the deepest of oceans,
the most precious of sapphires.
Blue eyes pierce the heart.
Blue eyes are paradise, I’m sure.
Blue eyes are for angels.

But they say in heaven there are no lovers, nor husbands or wives.
So is it a paradise if my love for you is forbidden?
Is heaven, then, not a prison, if I can never leave?
Darling, I can’t imagine a worse hell than not having you.
I am no devil,
so if god thinks to play some cosmic joke and send
me to heaven,
but you to hell,
I swear to you,
I will spend everyday of eternity trying to escape my golden cage.
I hope you would do the same for me.
For I am also no saint;
it is just as likely that Lucifer will lobby for the rights to my soul,
and I will fall into that black pit
and you will ascend into that blue sky.
So I hope you would do the same for me.
Because brown eyes are for demons, Darling.
Brown eyes once burned with a relentless fire.
We’re already adjusted to the heat,
so I could make
a heaven in hell,
if I had you.

Blue eyes are ice and steel,
and people like us,
we can’t get too close them,
lest they melt away.
But brown eyes, Lover,
brown eyes burn together.

But neither of us are devil nor saint.
I think,
when our lives abandon our bodies,
we will have no home.
I think we’re stuck here.
So I won’t say I will make this earth a paradise like heaven.
No, I’ll make a different kind of place for us.
A place where we are free to love each other
and come and go as we please.
Darling, I will make hell on earth for you.
We can burn this whole place down because,
you and I,
we’re adjusted to the heat.
And once again, our eyes will fill with fire,
just as they were meant to.

—  L.S. Romanticizing Brown Eyes
hey friends!

There is a NEW FRIEND! Her name is Helen @jhelenoftrek and she was lured over from AO3, where she has been posting awesome fics and leaving kind comments, by the promise of a functioning PM system. She is also on and VAMB so I know some of you know her ( @cheile !) Oh, and she is a JCer, which I know will ingratiate her to a lot of y’all nerds ;)

I wanted to make introductions, as it were, and ask if there is anything she should know about the Voyager scene on Tumblr that I missed…I told her about JC Monday, Janeway Tuesday, Chakotay Wednesday/ChakoDAY, and Torres Thursday ^_^

Also–more generally, can anyone find one of those Guide to Tumblr type posts that tell you everything that isn’t super obvious, but important to the general Tumblr experience? Like, ask memes, fyeah/confession/etc blogs, when to tag your posts, all that jazz. I ~know~ there are some floating around!

Hmmm so. @emmikamikatze you might know?? from VAMB and is a wonderful goofball with a great since of humor (and a fantastic writer, as khurst)! @joyful-voyager is also a fantastic writer and a passionate JCer who has been shipping it since the show aired. @danakatherinejaneway lives with Boo-Boo, The World’s Most Beautiful Cat, and writes lovely JC (and occasional JT?) hurt/comfort, fluff, and humor. @mylittleredgirl (who has a Chief Canine Officer) has been in the fandom 5ever and knows everything; her long tag essays and general hilariousness are not to be missed.

@supernovacoffee is a kind and sparkly person who will be excited with u about all things Voyager. @fbismostunwanted1158 writes wonderful JC fics (I love her medical drama stories ;) @rawkfemme just started writing fics yay!!! and is a v cool person with a “Parenting Is…” blog feature (see you’re not the only Real Adult)! @justhere4coffee isn’t solely a Voyager blog but they’re a fantastically kind person with a drolly amusing tagging system, and reblog lots of pictures of cute rats. @capt-nyc writes the. darkest. angstiest. JC. fics. sweet holy mother of deanna. prepare to  w e e p (as LittleObsessions on AO3) and is a lovely friendly person!

@relentless-fire reblogs an awesome stream of Janeway content; if you like KJ her blog is the place for you. @the-bookwyrm is very much multifandom but also the nicest person ever so I can’t not include them. ;) @crisisenvy does UNBELIEVABLY amazing Janeway and Voyager digital art. @cxionbonan is a sweetheart and has an amazing puppy named Delta Hillary. @ersosandor writes amazing, AMAZING Voyager meta. @captainandhercorgi (as you might guess from her url) reblogs an exquisite mixture of Star Trek, memes, and corgis. @roslin makes the BEST gifs (lots of Battlestar Galactica content, also probably clear by url ;) @risiansunrise (the mastermind behind @tomparisalbum ) is laid-back and funny and has great tags!

I’m UNDOUBTEDLY forgetting wonderful people I know who are into Voyager–nothing personal and please reply and say hi if I missed u  ♥

And finally, ds9vgrconfessions is where people submit anonymous confessions. @pixiedane does HILARIOUS irreverent (but actually secretly very reverent) photo episode recaps of Voyager. And, @tomparisalbum is Tom Paris’s photo album (worth a look trust me).

tomlinscn  asked:

rip okay so im literally always game for those fics where for some reason, when stiles and derek are apart from eachother, stiles +/or the both of them feel like complete shit physically, and they fall for eachother bc of close proximity and cuddles. Basically whiny stiles and forced resentful domestic fluff is the best. I hope youre feeling better, and hopefully this prompt speaks to you! <3 I love your writing and I'm so happy youre feeling better and maybe coming back. Take your time bby

“You can’t possibly be blaming me for this.”

Derek aims a dry look Stiles’ way. It’s an effort with Stiles plastered grudgingly to his chest like this, their arms wrapped around each other while Stiles’ body slowly stops quaking.

“How else should I react when something’s obviously your fault?”

And it had been. Stiles had been the one to discover the clearly magical artifact tucked into an ancient looking box on the clinic’s counter and, not only pick up said artifact, but then startle and shout like he was dying when it snaked into motion, twisting viper-fast around his wrist.

So then maybe Derek had launched himself forward, grabbing Stiles’ arm and giving the artifact a chance to hook around him too, twisting like a figure eight around both their wrists and leaving behind a barely-there brand before dropping, cool and lifeless, to the ground. But at that point, really, what should he have done? Let Stiles stand there screaming while an aggressive magical item made itself a permanent decoration on his arm?

Yes, clearly. But then, hindsight.

Stiles heaves an exasperated breath into Derek’s shirt by way of reply, dropping his death grip on Derek and elbowing at his chest. His quivering’s almost completely stopped.

“Whatever. I’m fine now, I can stand.”

There’s a pull the second Derek lets him go; an almost unconscious urge to chase after, wrap Stiles back up safe in his arms. He leans back on his heels pointedly, doesn’t give in to the tug. Stiles crosses his arms, his head dropped down, and it makes him look small and petulant but Derek figures he’s probably just fighting the same urge Derek is. Working to maintain distance.

Promise brands,” Deaton had said, looking between them with a sort of frowning scrutiny that seemed to indicate both that he was disappointed in them as well as being eager to study the effects of the magic close up. “An outdated form of engagement ritual, I believe. Used to bind the intended couple physically for a period, to assure the families that they were ready for the commitment of marriage. …Or possibly used for prisoner transport. I hadn’t completed a full analysis.

At this point, Derek is leaning decidedly toward the latter.

He paces away now, feeling the itch on his wrist tug like a wolfsbane-laced leash with every step. Ignores the hurt sound that punches out of Stiles when he clears five, and takes another few, determinedly, before dropping too tense onto the edge of his couch. He can’t help leaning forward, every line of his body wrought tension. His breaths have already started to go thin.

Stiles hasn’t moved an inch since Derek started walking, his body drawn tight, heartbeat a wild staccato in the air. Derek doesn’t care. Stiles’ bottom lip is sucked in between his teeth, fingers digging white into the sleeves of his red and black flannel, and Derek doesn’t care.

Worrying about Stiles is what had gotten them into this mess in the first place.

The twelve feet between them feels like twelve miles. Not that twelve miles’ distance from Stiles would bother Derek on a normal day. Would probably be a relief. At least then his heartbeat wouldn’t be drumming through Derek’s brain, pounding frantic, insistent, deafening.

He grits out “come here” and Stiles is moving before the words are even finished, crossing the space at an almost-run and dropping onto the couch. He stops just short of actually collapsing on Derek again, dropping his head against the back of the couch with a sigh.

“I hate you so much” slides out, sounding grateful.

Derek grunts a wordless agreement and threads their fingers together. Hears Stiles’ heart skip and start to settle the second they touch.

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I’m spending 1 hour a day for 30 days intentionally reading God’s word and sitting in His presence asking Him to heal, restore and transform me. I’m doing it with two close friends, who share with me daily what they learn. I wrote this out for them today, but wanted to share it with you, as I think it’s a truth that’s going to change my life. Again.

Today I wanted to read the context for the infamous phrase, “the LORD’s still, small voice” from 1 Kings 18-19. And so I did, and it blew my mind.

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Your Love Is My Drug

((A/N: Pardon the kesha song. Actually don’t I love it. Another request and one I did quite enjoy. It’s sappy and fluffy and sweet. Good way to ring in the new year! I hope you’re all safe and well and do what makes you happy! Be good, my little cinnamon rolls.

PromptHere’s some more fluff for you if you choose to accept it. DeanxReader (longish term relationship) where she was rescued from hell but still has nightmares, panic attacks, and ptsd over what she did and what was done to her there. And Dean is the only one who can help her calm down.

Warnings: PTSD, trauma mentions

Pairing: Dean x Reader

Word Count: 1400 ))

Sleeping was the worst.

Well, not on its own certainly, but sleep for you was fickle. When it did come it was violent and harsh. You were lucky to have Dean Winchester, which you knew, but it was still hard every time you woke up from those dreams.

“You’re never going to get away from this, Y/N. Sad to think you had a chance at life once, isn’t it? Thought Dean Winchester would help you? No one can help you.”

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“I just killed two people.” It comes out of her chest almost hysterically, hitting her twice over as she hears it out loud. “I did something terrible as well. Does that make me a terrible person too? As bad as you? As bad as Giovanni?”

He stares. The fire roars, relentless. “Do I deserve to die too?” she asks again.

He hauls himself to his feet. His knees nearly buckle and he doubles over, pressing a hand to his ribs with a grunt. He looks back up after a moment.

She stands as well. “Answer me,” she insists. The hand holding the gun shakes. “Do I deserve to die? Do I?”

“…You had to do that,” he says. A whisper, barely. She shrugs.

“And so did you. So how is that different?”

He doesn’t answer. Her voice rises, halfway between a sob and a growl: “How is that different? Come on, answer me! I deserve to die too now by your logic, don’t I?”

He still says nothing. She closes in a step the distance between them and grabs his arm, forcing his hand on the gun. The barrel against her chest. “Go on, shoot me. If you deserve to die so do I. So shoot me and then shoot yourself if that’s what you want.”

He tries to pull back. “Stop it.”

“Shoot me!” She digs her fingers into his wrist. “If you think you’re as bad as Giovanni come on, prove it!”

“Stop it!”

“Shoot me! You can’t, can you?”

(A scene from the last chapter of my fic, Returning Home.)

Thank you all so much for getting me to 1k followers! I love & appreciate every single one of you. To celebrate, I’m doing my very first Follow Forever. This is essentially just a list of all my favorite mutuals in no particular order (because I’m too lazy to sort them alphabetically, sorry).

@sirenja-and-the-stag @dancey94 @relentless-fire @delphinecxmier @eattheboring @laxantr @hannibalage @ill-graham @gayphine @hannimeow @jaderriven @tygerandthelamb @hannibalsdong @redlipstickcankill @dancing-clone-sestras @artbalism @ishannibalinlovewithme @delphine-cormigay @alternativesky @fragile-teacup @some-achieve-greatness @hannihaal @bloodywendigo @kinglecter @crave-that-mineral @already-obsessed @holnes @axmxz @hanniballovee @exactlywhereimmenttobe @the-scarlet-rabbit @maskythedefault @he-got-involved @fannibalmonica @i-am-hannibal-trash @yrlocalgaykid @cocklesia @artbyvictoriaskye @thedanishboymads @heda-lives-within @versatiledoom @cannibal-tears @shaunamyrise @thisisnaysdesign @allegralovelace @aurandir @hannibal-da-cannibal @abloodredsettingsun @ebrolutionary @thirstyforhughdancy @lovingcrime @spanishdandy @nerdyniehaus @ohgodthisismydesign @samui-sakura88 @hannibal-hannigram-4ever @unpredictable-m0ngoose @daemon-days @ravenstag-faghag @desperatelyseekingcannibals @hannibalacious @elegant-suffering @sexheda @broken-desires @moonloverforever @bu0nanotte @murderhusbands-honeymoon @marlana-tho @cosima-kneehaus @smoothtalkerheda @always-eighteen-ninety-five @sorrowandsparkle @macelhenneys @whiskeyandflesh @orangejuicex2 @taeaelin @carolinedhvernas @snaxo @backwardabyss @wendigoqueen-willgraham @loveroflectr @meduszoa @rathofthelamb @azuresky2011 @countesslecter666 @hannigrambabies @bedeliadufromage @mysteriouslysexyphilosopher @mongoosesandshatteredteacups @kristen-and-hugh @hermaia-moira @spicywillgraham @thewendigobunny @lovely-little-hellfire @mycunningboy @midwest-pluviophile @hammblwllgrhm @hannibal-and-will @chocolate-scissors-and-corn @murder-boyfriends @vulcanplomeeksoup @dark-will-graham @hanniscats @hahahannibal @classy-cannibals @hannibatchsmuse @felineladyy @cableknitpanties @swanstiel @hannibananigraham @marrkhamill @xenagogy @chesacakeripper @slayerangels @bhc89 @between-mads-and-hugh @hannigrammatic @heartandseoulx @cruciotheravenstag @theaveragedayofatinygay @queerasstronomer @canniboob @realityn @chessapeake-cannibals @beddelia @murderinthecar @entratalibera @thepansexualcannibal @jewelcas @octuse

Confessions of The Human Secretary (Platonic AkaKuro Fanfic) -PART 3-


Yes yes, I’m late, very late but needed to do some edits and I’m still busy with uni and I HAVENT PACKED FOR MY TRIP TO JAPAN NEXT WEEK

So, this is like a going-away gift lol I’ll take you guys to Otome Road with me through vids later on k? For now, enjoy the new chap of COTHS~!! ^3^ Give some love to my co-author Nina (the bae) too! 

Part 1: Tumblr | AO3
Part 2: Tumblr | AO3
Part 3: AO3

Entry #344

It’s nice to see Kagami come by the office so frequently nowadays. Screaming and all.

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anonymous asked:

what are your thoughts about the white house iftar?

I could turn this into an all out thesis, but I’ll spare that today.

This country is hostile towards Muslims. So much so that those who are even ancestrally associated with or have been mistaken for Muslims (Arab Christians, Sikhs, Hindus etc) are also subject to Islamophobic backlash. Islamophobia is not merely an unfortunate social byproduct, its a state sanctioned form of bigotry and hatred that’s been utilized to export unprecedented amounts of violence to Muslim majority nations. This violence is deployed by direct combat and siege, funding dangerous militias and coups, stunting economies by ways of sanctions, installing puppet dictatorships or supporting occupation and genocides (Palestine and Somali Galbeed by bankrolling Israel and Ethiopia respectively, for example).

Given the deliberately nefarious relationship American politicians have cultivated around Islam and towards Muslims, one should be innately inclined to wonder what the motives of a White house iftar is. Who gets invited? Why? What conversations can and can’t be had with a group of people whose jobs it is to destabilize countries many of us are from? There’s a sharp cognitive dissonance with the fact that some elite Muslims in more lofty positions can attend iftar dinners in the same structure that hosted the most devastating and patently Islamophobic political measures. Drone strikes are signed off in the White House. Sanctions have been approved in the White House. Muslims have been spied on and have had their phones tapped because of decisions made in the White House. How can anyone faithfully say that White House iftars are made in good conscience and with pious intentions when after the plates are cleared, the violence resumes as normal.

In fact, this year, they didn’t even wait to clear the plates. Obama’s pivotal statement was his assessment that Israel had the right to defend itself, thus asserting that Palestinian slaughter was not only justifiable, but necessary. Because when you allow the colonizer further access to massacre the colonized, but extend no sentiment vice versa, that’s what you’re saying. It doesn’t take a genius to understand the dynamic and insidious nature of statements that legitimize settler colonialism and worse, masquerade as if they are victims of brutality in any meaningful or relevant capacity.

Think about why he chose that particular moment to enable Zionist violence. Of all the months of the Islamic year and in the history of Palestinian genocide, using this time to utilize Islam to reinforce the brutality against a Muslim majority region was an egregiously sadistic act. And the cherry on top? No one walked out. So here we have a dinner that is caught on video for millions to see, (which is supposed to hold immense spiritual sentimental value), but instead is used as a platform in which a long standing genocide is endorsed and congratulated and the appearance speaks as if it was approved by the Muslims who attended, because they didn’t walk out.

What does that say to the world about the neutral approach towards Palestinian genocide? What does that say to Muslim Palestinians who have to deal with the instrumentalization of their faith (probably one of the few things that allows them hope to withstand violence) used as a tool against them? What does that say about the disgustingly privileged and opportunistic nature of certain Muslim leaders in the West to our brothers and sisters back home, who are oppressed by both the very apparatus of American politics and our unwillingness to speak out?

This was a reprehensible act of violence. Towards Palestinians first and foremost, and secondarily to all Muslim activists who put their heart, time, soul and efforts in BDS movements. Who have been victims of nonconsensual videotaping, relentless harassment, assault, lawsuits, fired from jobs and expelled from schools to stand up against Israel’s brutality against Palestine.

This is the neoliberal hell we live in. Where liberal governments can pay meaningless lip service and empty gestures towards brutalized minorities, but encroach upon them and utilize them as agents against their own. And franky, anyone who attends White House iftars should be completely ashamed of themselves.


I want to talk with you today about a subject that touches every one of us: loss. Sometimes we’re faced with things we think we just can’t handle. The death of a loved one; a father, a child. And we strive to find the reason behind it all. And when those reasons don’t make sense, we question God. We look up and we say, “God, how could you do this to us? How could you put so much on our plate?” But we’re not operating on God’s timetable, are we? We don’t understand God’s plan. How can we? But let me tell you, this is where faith comes in. Faith can help us see His message in our own lives. Perhaps this loss is there to teach us not to take the ones we love for granted. To cherish the simple, mundane moments. To love others as fiercely and as bravely and as compassionately as we can. And in that love, human love—forgiving, relentless, unconditional love—you’ll find peace. Amen.  requested by anonymous