relax-kids

No shade but when older Black ppl regard us.. our parents generation has a lot of criticism for a bunch of people who shoved relaxers on their kids, perpetuated colorism, and didn’t do much to strengthen the black dollar in their communities in their hay day.

Just to put everyone on the same page:

After being given a measly ten episodes to finish his Masterpiece, Genndy decided to spend the third-to-last episode of Samurai Jack as an opportunity to:

–Turn Jack’s head into a fish for a quick minute

–Answer the question of Jack and Ashi’s dynamic by giving us the “two characters are forced into a cave by bad weather” fanfic cliche and turning it into survival horror while fully embracing the cliche

–Not bring us any closer to facing Aku or going home (there are only 45 minutes of Jack left, by the way, this is literally the show’s final hour)

–End the whole thing with Dean Martin singing Frank Sinatra’s “Everybody Loves Somebody” into and over the closing credits

The moral of the story: your showrunner will never be as masterful of a troll as Genndy Tartakovsky.

I’m a mom. I have a daughter. She’s seven years old and she’s on a plane right now coming back to live with me… She’s with her other mom sometimes. Her dad, um… He died. And I miss him all the time which is actually kind of unexpected because I didn’t really like him in the beginning. I resented him because he was perpetually relaxed. But he could make me laugh.  He could make me laugh when I was afraid, or freaked out, or annoyed, which actually is really, really annoying. If he was here right now he’d say ‘Relax, Robbins. Your kid’s coming here. It’s going to be the greatest thing ever and you’re freaking out about paint colors. You’re going to take her to ice cream and you're going to let her pick out three different flavors and it’ll be the best thing ever.' And he would be right.
—  Arizona Robbins, 14x07
The Hulk’s Daughter

Originally posted by hamilll

Peter Parker x Reader

The Hulk’s Daughter

Warnings: None?

Author: Morgan

Prompt: What about you being like a new avenger (and working in the lab wit father figure Bruce) and you “meet” the others for the first time at the party

Note: I took some creative liberties here…hope you don’t mind. I’ve been in a super Peter Parker mood lately, so, here ya go. Also, I’m not dead, and I think this will serve as the first of like seven-ish fics in what I call: The Morgan Reniassance.

Being a high school student was tough. Being a high school student and a student intern at the Avengers’ Tower? Tougher yet. And being a superhero on top of it all…you didn’t know how the hell you fit in time for homework, but somehow you managed. Luckily for you, it was spring break now, so you kind of had time to chill and catch up on everything you were falling behind on.

“Hey (Y/N), would you mind passing me the file over there?” Bruce Banner, your kind of sort of father figure asked, motioning across your station to a file detailing the new pieces of tech Tony had whipped up in his free time.

“Yep, no prob.” You slid it down to him. He pushed up his glasses and nodded appreciatively. You took a long sip from your mug of coffee. You hadn’t even liked it that much, but it was kind of a necessity in the lab.

“So…” Bruce smirked a little bit. “Tony’s throwing a party tonight.”

“I don’t know if I can go…you know, I have like three packets of Algebra homework to catch up on.”

“He’s not going to take that as an excuse and you know it.”

“Ughhhh, I know.”

“I think he wants you to finally meet Spiderman.”

“Wait.” This changed everything. “Spiderman is going to be there?”

“Little crush, huh?”

“W-what? Pfft, no.” Yes. “There is no way I have a crush on Spiderman.” Yes you did. “That’s ridiculous.” No. It really wasn’t.

“Don’t worry. He’s a nice kid.” Bruce removed a gear from the little bot in his hand with a pair of tweezers and then replaced it. “And I heard he has a little bit of a crush on Galactic Girl, if my sources are right.”

“OhmyGodreally?!” Your eyes glowed pink for the shortest second and you nearly fell off of your stool. “I mean, cool. That’s cool. I guess. Maybe I could meet him. Or something.”

“Okay, but if he breaks your heart, I’ll break him.”

“Okay Dad,” you smirked. He smiled. Dad. A title he never thought he would hold. And yet, here he was with this teenager who had latched onto him. And he couldn’t have been happier.

***

You walked into the party wearing a pink shirt and galaxy leggings. You had put on more makeup than usual, and you were accompanied by Tony and Bruce, one on each arm.

“And this is Wanda and Pietro and you already know Nat.” Tony introduced. “Ladies and Speedy, meet the newbie.”

“Nice to meet you,” Wanda offered her hand. Pietro smirked, Natasha smiled. You were in awe. You had heard so much about these people, and here they were, dressed in street clothes and making small talk.

“And this is Capsicle and his USO girls.” Tony motioned to Captain America himself, who was standing beside Sam and Bucky.

“Ha. Very funny.” Sam chuckled and shook his head.

“Welcome to the team, (Y/N).” Steve saluted.

“T-thank you.”

“Don’t pass out.” Bruce muttered.

“I’m trying.” You replied through an awestruck smile. And yet, the more people you were introduced to, the more it became obvious that the reason you were here…wasn’t here yet.

“Spider Boy is on his way.” Tony read a message on his phone, and not even thirty seconds later, the red-clad young super hero was clinging to the window. He peered inside for a few seconds before waving awkwardly. Unlike everyone else, he was wearing his uniform.

He climbed into the penthouse, landing on his feet right in front of Tony.

“Sorry I’m late, Mr. Stark. There was a robbery and-”

“Relax, kid. You’re fine.” He motioned to his face. “But uh-”

“Oh. Oh! Right. Sorry.” He tugged off the red mask, releasing a head of tousled brown hair and kind brown eyes. God, he was cute. Waaaaay cuter than you had expected him to be. “You uh, must be the new girl.” He thrust his hand forward. “I’m Peter Man. I mean- Spider Parker. I uh,”

“(Y/N) (L/N).” You shook his hand with a grin. “Nice to meet you, Peter.”

“You break her heart, I’ll break you,” Bruce warned with a well-meaning chuckle as he and Tony removed themselves from the conversation.

“So uh, your dad is the Hulk, huh?”

“My adoptive dad, yeah.” You laughed. “He’s awesome. Took me in after I got involved with all of this alien shit. I really don’t know what I’d do without him.” You looked over to Bruce, who was standing at the bar with Tony. “And you’re Tony’s…nephew-ish thing, right?”

“You could say that, yeah.” Peter smiled and chuckled. “I’m um, going to get changed. I swear I’ll be right back.”

“I’ll hold you to that, bug boy.” You smiled. Peter ran off as Nat walked up to you.

“So, you and Parker, huh?”

“What? I just met him.”

“Remember: I know everything.” She winked.

“Right. Of course. How could I forget?”

“Don’t smart mouth me, young lady.” She gave you a playful shove.

“Yes, ma’am.” You playfully shoved her back as Peter walked back into the room, this time wearing a Bill Nye t-shirt with a flannel and some jeans. Somehow, he was even cuter this way. “Here comes your boyfriend.” She walked away before you could retort.

“Much better.” He grinned. You nodded. There was a patch of silence, and then Tony turned on some very loud, very danceable music. Bruce met your eyes and then tilted his head towards the slowly-assembling makeshift dance floor. Peter seemed to get the hint. “Do uh, do you want to dance?”

“S-sure!” You replied. He held out his hand. You stared at it for a second before slipping yours into it.

***

“So, looks like Parker’s gonna be your son-in-law, huh Brucie?” Nat smirked as she watched you and Peter dance like the dorks you were. It was cute.

“Yeah. He’s a good kid. I’m glad things worked out.”

“Me too. But if he breaks her heart, I’ll break him in half.” Nat smirked.

“You’ll have to get in line.”

steve harrington x reader • be still

Summary: If you had to die, dying while saving the boy you loved and the boy who loved you wasn’t a bad way to go.

Word Count: 1800+

Requested By: Anonymous - Steve and reader where Steve thinks you dies but you come back and just pure fluff

Warnings: Angst, language, some fluff at the end.

Notes: Ow.

Title is from the song Be Still by The Fray, which is a lovely song that I’d recommend to anyone.

I was planning on doing requests in the order I get them, but my muse worked best for this today so I guess I’m just gonna do them when I’m feeling the right vibe to write it. Hope that’s okay with everyone waiting on a request!!

Alsooo this is a repost from earlier because there were a lot of errors I hadn’t noticed until after I posted, so this is the edited version!

REQUESTS ARE OPEN!

It was stupid, really. Even as you were doing it you knew it was the wrong thing to do, knew that it was just going to end in blood and tears. There was time to try something else, something less risky, less dangerous. But you couldn’t stop yourself. There was a demodog with teeth bared running right in your direction, having fallen behind the rest of the pack, and you were the only two left in the tunnels. You couldn’t let it hurt him. Not him. Not Steve.

Keep reading

3

I’m a mom. I have a daughter. She’s seven years old and she’s on a plane right now coming back to live with me… She’s with her other mom sometimes. Her dad, um… He died. And I miss him all the time which is actually kind of unexpected because I didn’t really like him in the beginning. I resented him because he was perpetually relaxed. But he could make me laugh.  He could make me laugh when I was afraid, or freaked out, or annoyed, which actually is really, really annoying. If he was here right now he’d say ‘Relax, Robbins. Your kid’s coming here. It’s going to be the greatest thing ever and you’re freaking out about paint colors. You’re going to take her to ice cream and you’re going to let her pick out three different flavors and it’ll be the best thing ever.’ And he would be right.

Tasty* ~ [1/2]

Pairing: Chris Evans x Reader
Rating: Mature - 18+ only
Summary: Reader prepares the last important details of Chris’ thirty-sixth birthday party, but he can only think of one or two ways he’d like to celebrate this day with her.
Word Count: 2.5k
Genre: Fluff/Mild smut
Warnings: build up; mentions of sex/innuendos, Chris being a dork and a butt guy, slight food play/kink, make out session and language!
Author’s Note: I know, Chris’ birthday was yesterday (June 13th), but I actually wrote so much that I had to split this into two parts. The actual smut will be in the last part hopefully up tomorrow. Once again, happy birthday to the Dorito and enjoy! xx

    “Dodger, come here,” you whispered and the dog padded out of the kitchen, stopping at your feet. You bent and patted his back as his tail wagged excitedly.

    Staring back at your reflection in the mirror of the foyer, you smoothed out your dress - the same summer dress you’d wear on your first date with Chris three years ago - and you applied your cranberry lip balm. You weaved a hand through your hair, pushed up your breasts and you picked up the breakfast tray you’d left on the entryway table.

    “What do you think? He’s going to like it, right?” You asked Dodger and laughed at how ridiculous you sounded. My God, I’m talking to a dog.

    Keep reading

    Infatuation - Part 1

    Originally posted by jaebuim

    PART 1 PART 2 PART 3 PART 4 PART 5 PART 6 PART 7 PART 8 (M) PART 9  PART 10 PART 11

    Summary: You are now a Pre-K teacher and you meet Jaebum, a single dad. 

    Genre: Romance, teacher, single dad

    Warnings: smut in later chapters, swearing

    Definition of Pre-K: teacher for children at the age of 4

    Authors Note: This is my first fanfic and I am not really sure what everyone will think of it but please give me some feedback! Oh and I hate when fanfics don’t have a slight twist to them so don’t think I’ll keep you bored! I want some action and suspense here :) 

    Chapter 1:

    You walked out of your last exam feeling excited because you finally finished your senior year of high school. All that was left was graduation day! You were excited for this upcoming summer because you finally had a car, a job, and more time with your boyfriend, Yugyeom. You were also excited because college would start in August, which meant a new chapter in your life. 

    You had been working hard during the semester to maintain your rank as number 1 in the class. After your hard work, you finally became valedictorian, and you would be giving a speech to your fellow classmates on graduation day. You were ready for a nice and refreshing summer. 

    Keep reading

    2

    I’m a mom. I have a daughter. She’s seven years old and she’s on a plane right now coming back to live with me… She’s with her other mom sometimes. Her dad, um… He died. And I miss him all the time which is actually kind of unexpected because I didn’t really like him in the beginning. I resented him because he was perpetually relaxed. But he could make me laugh. He could make me laugh when I was afraid, or freaked out, or annoyed, which actually is really, really annoying. If he was here right now he’d say ‘Relax, Robbins. Your kid’s coming here. It’s going to be the greatest thing ever and you’re freaking out about paint colors. You’re going to take her to ice cream and you’re going to let her pick out three different flavors and it’ll be the best thing ever.’ And he would be right.

    The List - Bruce Wayne x Reader (Quite NSFW)

    Summary : You and Bruce, are making a list of all the people you slept with…Because why not ?

    I just had this stupid idea when I was at work and sorry for it…hope you’ll still kinda like it and boom, here :

    Do NOT read if NSFW/smutty things make you feel uncomfortable, you can go check my other fluffy and angsty stories instead, over there ;-) : 

    My masterlist blog : https://ella-ravenwood-archives.tumblr.com

    ________________________________________________

    You don’t even remember who started it.

    You don’t remember if it’s you who made a snarky comment first, or him.

    You both were equally gifted in the sarcasm area, so it really could be any of you. And none of you could actually remember the instigator of it all…

    But oh someone definitely started it, and now, you were both sitting on the floor around the coffee table of the living room, a pen in hand, a blank sheet of paper in front of you, thinking about all the people you had sex with. 

    Or rather, about the people you had sex with and that you both knew. 

    Who cared about some unknown guy from a bar, or a girl from a gala ? 

    They meant nothing. They were just pleasure on the spot, something that didn’t matter at all and…to be honest, both you and Bruce didn’t care about those one night stands with people you didn’t give a damn about…You both knew you weren’t each other’s first time after all, and one night stands ? They were long over and there were not nearly as much as everyone thought…Bruce had only a few, and you too. And again, it was such a long time ago, and so meaningless (definitely not your favorite kind of sex, and Bruce would agree with that). 

    This list was about the people you had sex with, with whom you shared part of your life, and/or someone you both knew. 

    You knew almost everything about each others, but your past relationships ? You rarely talked about it. You never felt the need to, as you were too in love with each others for anyone else to really matter…

    Both of you already stated multiple times, in your long years of marriage, that you never loved anyone like you loved each other. That all those past relationships were nothing compared to what you felt to each others. 

    But…Curiosity always got the better of the two of you. 

    And besides, when Bruce learnt that you used to date his best friend, Clark, he started to wonder if you slept with anyone else he knew, after all, you knew lots of Justice League members before knowing him so…He just wanted to know (he would never admit it, but he was quite jealous really. Grumpy Broosh). 

    And so here you were, after one of you made a comment about it (wether it was you comparing Bruce to Clark or him saying something about Selina, you didn’t quite remember), writing a list. You were writing the last name on yours when Bruce raised his head and, very sternly said :

    -I’m done.  

    You smiled as you finished the last letter of the name you were writing and looked up, smiling at him. 

    -Me too. 

    Just another proof of how you were always so damn in sync, finished right at the same time. He doesn’t smile, and you smirk at him as you exchange papers. And…Exact same number than you. You quickly look over it and chuckle a bit, he detached his attention from your list (his frown getting bigger by the second as he was reading it), and, a bit suspicious, says : 

    -What ? 

    -Bruce, I think the two of us basically slept with the entire league. We’re super-sluts my heart. 

    Keep reading

    Jisung in the group chat: With great boredom…

    Haechan: …comes great irresponsibility

    Taeyong: What did you do this time?

    Haechan:  Chenle cracked his head open, we’re at the hospital

    Taeyong: oh my god!! is he alright?

    Doyoung: GOD! What hospital?? We’re coming right now!!

    Haechan: Relax, I’m kidding. We just somehow managed to burn half his hair…

    Taeyong: Oh thank god, he’s fine!! Where are you right now? I want to hug him!

    Taeyong: I mean kill him and you two! You gave me a heart-attack!!!!!

    Doyoung: You get Jisung and Chenle, I’ll get Haechan

    Taeyong: Copy that!

    *Haechan, Chenle and Jisung hidden in one of the dorms’ closets*

    Chenle: You said telling them something worse first and then the truth would work..

    Jisung: Yeah, now they wanna kill us for lying to them..

    Haechan: Do not fret, my boys. I’ve got plan B, distraction!

    Haechan in the group chat: Yuta kissed Winwin! 

    Jaehyun: WHAT??

    Taeyong: N0w wHat??

    Doyoung: I can’t say I didn’t see that coming..

    Ten: haha I ship it!

    Yuta: Haechan you are DEAD!

    *Back in the closet*

    Chenle: haha, it worked!

    Haechan: No, it didn’t, now Yuta wants to kill me 

    Jisung: Exactly, he wants to kill you. We’re free!

    *both start leaving*

    Haechan: Where are you going? You can’t leave me alone!

    Jisung & Chenle: It was nice knowing you!

    Jisung: I’m gonna miss you!

    *they leave*

    Haechan: Come back here, you traitors!!

    Haechan: I’m gonna kill you when I get out of here!

    Haechan: you hear me??

    *Yuta opens the closet*

    Yuta: oh yes I do!

    Haechan: *whispers to himself* if I get outta here..

    Malec + That Boiling Hot Bath (post 2x20)

    this is really just a whole lotta fluff. i couldn’t stop thinking about it and yeah, i had to write it down. i wrote it really quick and there’s no editing, so sorry for any typos. 

    anyway, enjoy. 

    Magnus stared down at the man asleep on his chest. Alec had fallen asleep shortly after they had finished…celebrating. Magnus could tell that these past few months had taken a toll on Alec as well as himself, so he wasn’t that offended when Alec began snoring on his chest. 

    It had been about an hour, and Alec was finally starting to stir. He sighed against Magnus’ bare stomach, but didn’t look up. “Hi,” he whispered. 

    “Hi,” Magnus whispered back, trailing his hand up and down Alec’s marked back. He felt Alec tense at his touch and drew his hand back. “Alexander? What’s wrong?” 

    Alec’s voice was low when he spoke. “I-nothing’s wrong, I’m just really sorry. I feel like I don’t deserve to be here.” 

    “Stop apologizing, Alec. It’s okay, I’m okay.” 

    “I just don’t want you to resent me for it,” Alec sighed. 

    Alec felt Magnus’ chest begin to shake underneath him. “After what we just did, I think it’s safe to say I’m quite a long way from resenting you,” he laughed. He resumed running his fingers across his boyfriend’s back. “Now, come on. Get up. Let’s go.” 

    “What?” Alec said, finally sitting up to look at Magnus. The silk sheets were a pale pink today, and they fell down to Alec’s waist when he sat up. He saw Magnus look down and swallow before meeting his eyes again. “Where are we going?”  

    Magnus slid off the bed and stood up, clearly not caring that he wasn’t wearing any clothing. “To take that boiling hot bath I was talking about.” He disappeared into the bathroom, confident that Alec would follow. 

    When Alec walked into Magnus’ very extravagant bathroom, he saw that the tub had magically been filled and he could see the steam rising from it. Magnus was already in it, his tanned skin glistening with droplets of water. “Well, you don’t waste any time, do you?” Alec asked, sinking into the scalding water, his back to Magnus’ chest. 

    “When it comes to a nice bath? Absolutely not.” Magnus wrapped his arms around Alec’s torso and pulled him into his chest. Alec sunk down and leaned his head back on Magnus’ shoulder, settling in between his legs. Magnus’ bathtub was big enough to fit about four grown men, but Alec decided he wanted to sit like that. He wanted to be as close to Magnus as he possibly could. 

    “Needs bubbles,” Magnus said and snapped his fingers. There was quick blue spark and then the tub was suddenly almost overflowing with bubbles. Alec laughed and intertwined his fingers with Magnus’ where they rested on his stomach. 

    Magnus looked down at the shadowhunter and thought about what he had blurted out in the alley outside of the Hunter’s Moon. I don’t think I can live without you he’d said. Of all the things Magnus would have thought Alec would say, that definitely wasn’t on the list; but, then again, Alec was always full of surprises. 

    Alec’s eyes were closed and his face seemed oddly tight. “You need to relax,” Magnus whispered in his ear. “Just let go for once.” 

    “I’m trying,” Alec murmured. “I know it’s all over. It’s just really hard to believe. Then there’s Jace, and something is most definitely wrong. I don’t know what, but he feels off.” 

    “Ah, here we are, having a romantic evening, and you want to talk about Jace,” Magnus said. 

    Alec’s eyes shot open and he suddenly looked very panicked. “I’m sorry, I didn’t think. I just, I guess I-” He tried to sit up, but Magnus pulled him back and made him put his head back on the warlock’s shoulder. 

    Relax,” Magnus chuckled. “I’m kidding. We can talk about whatever you want to talk about.” Magnus could see the tension leaving Alec’s body as he closed his eyes again. 

    “I missed you,” Alec said, his voice catching. “I really, really missed you.” 

    Magnus suddenly wondered how he ever thought he could live without this boy. It had only been a few months, but it felt like a lifetime with Alec. “I missed you, too. So much.” 

    “Can we never fight like that again?” Alec asked in complete seriousness. 

    “We’ll try our best,” Magnus replied. Magnus leaned down at pressed his lips against Alec’s neck, trailing his kisses up to Alec’s jaw. 

    “There’s still so much for us to talk about,” Alec said, gasping a little. 

    “Ugh,” Magnus groaned against Alec’s skin. “We can talk tomorrow. Let’s just enjoy tonight.” He bit down on Alec’s throat, pulling the skin into his mouth. 

    Alec made a sound low in his throat before turning his head to catch Magnus’ lips with his own. They moved in sync for a while, just allowing themselves to drink each other in. Magnus moved his left hand up to cup Alec’s jaw, pressing his mouth harder against Alec’s. 

    Bubbles were now covering the right side of Alec’s face, and he broke the kiss as he began to laugh. Magnus thought it was the most beautiful sound in the world. He hardly ever got to hear Alec laugh, really laugh. A smile spread across his face as he watched the person he loved most in the world, finally let go. 

    Alec picked up some bubbles in his hands and reached up to put them in Magnus’ hair. “Got you,” he said with a triumphant smile. A smile that melted Magnus’ heart. 

    “You have no idea,” Magnus replied, and Alec knew he wasn’t talking about the bubbles. “God, I love you.” 

    Alec’s eyes were shining with unshed tears now. “I never thought I’d hear you say that again,” he breathed. 

    “I can never say it enough and I will never stop saying it. I love you, I love you, I love you, I love you.” Magnus let Alec sit up and pull away from his chest. He watched as Alec turned around to look at him. A single tear fell from Alec’s eye and rolled down his cheek. Magnus lifted a bubble-covered hand to wipe it away. “Don’t cry, my love.” 

    “I love you,” Alec half sobbed as he threw himself against Magnus, causing water to slosh over the tub and splash onto the floor. Magnus caught him as he wrapped his arms around Magnus’ neck in a hug. “You’re the best thing that ever happened to me,” Alec mumbled into Magnus’ neck. 

    “Likewise,” Magnus said and pushed Alec back slightly so that he could see his face. “Why are you crying?”

    Alec wasn’t even trying to prevent himself from crying at this point. He didn’t feel weak, if anything he felt unbelievably strong sitting there in Magnus’ arms. “Because I love you so much I can hardly stand it,” Alec answered. 

    Magnus really had to stop asking questions because if he got one more response like that tonight, he thought he was going to combust. “Oh, Alexander. You have no idea how much I love you.” 

    “Then show me.” 

    end. 

    Archie Andrews Imagine

    ‘Extraordinary Measures’

    Cheerleader/Football Archie Imagine #1

    Summary:  Y/n is a cheerleader on the River Vixens and has a date with her quarterback boyfriend, Archie. The only problem is Cheryl won’t end practice.

    Word Count: 1603

    request:  Hi~ can you please do a cute archie x cheerleader reader? 🖤

    a/n: I know actually nothing about cheer (even though I have so much respect for the sport) so I did a tiny bit of research for this. Sorry if I got any cheer lingo wrong or messed something up. Let me know and I’d be happy to adjust it! // Also I wasn’t sure if the request wanted a Friday night football game kind of story so I kind of just did what I thought would be cool, but now I definitely want to write more cheerleader/football!archie stuff so be on the lookout. (Requests are open!)

     —

    “Don’t mess, don’t mess,

    don’t mess with the best ‘cause the best don’t mess!

    Don’t fool, don’t fool,

    don’t fool with the cool ‘cause the cool don’t fool!

    From the east to the west

    the Bulldogs are the best!

    B-E-A-T beat ‘em! B-U-S-T bust ‘em!

    Beat ‘em, bust ‘em, that’s our custom! Come on Bulldogs readjust ‘em!

    Gooo Bulldogs!”

    You along with the rest of the River Vixens were breathing heavily after running another cheer, it could practically be called panting. You were the flyer, with three equally exhausted bases under you including Betty and Veronica, finished in a liberty position with your hands in a high v. You’d been practicing for close to four hours – with no water break. Cheryl was always aggressive but this was a new high even for her.

    “That was great ladies,” Cheryl yelled standing up from her spot on the bleachers. You looked down to Veronica and Betty and smiled in relief; it’d been a long day of getting yelled at by Cheryl and this seemed like progress. “Except that it wasn’t. It was actually terrible,” she walked down the bleachers toward the squad, putting an extra emphasis on ‘actually’. “My grandmother could cheer that better than you sacks-of-potatoes-with-skirts-and-ponytails that call yourselves ‘cheerleaders’. And she’s been dead since Obama’s first term.” Your face fell. You should have known. This was Cheryl Blossom we’re talking about.

    The bases helped you down and you all gave each other long, knowing stares with heavy eyes. “I swear to god, I’m gonna go New York on her,” Veronica threatened. All the Vixens were thoroughly done with Cheryl for the day. Unfortunately, though, it didn’t seem that she was done with you.

    She pulled out her megaphone for added drama. It’s not like she needed it. Even if her voice wasn’t extremely loud and high pitched enough to make dogs bark from a mile away, she was only standing like fifteen feet in front of you. “Why don’t we run ‘Be Aggressive’. Is that simple enough for you guys? Can your tiny little pigeon-brains handle that? And if it’s as bad as the rest of practice has been, it better be because all of you are puking your brains out or morbidly injured!”

    Everyone was parched and needed a break. You decided it was worth a try. “Cheryl?” All eyes turned to you with shock and desperation. She cocked her head, egging you on and crossed her arms, waiting for you to continue.

    Normally you would just deal with Cheryl and imagine something really embarrassing happening to her to make yourself feel better, but today she had put you in an especially bad mood. You we’re supposed to be going out with your boyfriend, Archie, soon but it didn’t look like she had any intention of ending practice in the near future. He was the school’s quarterback so he would be finishing up football practice any minute and you guys were supposed to be finished with rehearsal half an hour ago.

    “Uh, I was wondering if maybe we could get some water?” You asked with an especially pathetic expression and your best puppy dog eyes without being obvious. She gave you a blank expression and stared at you for an uncomfortably long amount of time. Like 15 Mississippi seconds.

    “You know what?” she probed, still using the unnecessary megaphone, “Yes, you girls can get water. But only because if I have to listen to you imbeciles butcher another simple cheer, I’m going to Van Gogh both my ears off, and I mean that. Be back in two minutes.”

    A couple of girls ran up to you graciously but most just ran to their water to make the most of the time that was given. Two minutes in Cheryl-time was pretty different from two minutes in real-time. Just then, the football team parted ways signaling the end of practice. Some guys went to their cars but a lot stayed behind to watch the cheerleaders practice. It was kind of creepy but football normally got out after cheer so it wasn’t usually a problem.

    Archie, jogged over to you with his gear still on and his helmet in his hand. He smiled at you with crinkly eyes and ran his fingers through his disheveled copper hair. “How’s my favorite River Vixen?”

    You forwent an actual greeting and instead just yelled “WATER,” at him, grabbing the green bottle in his bag with the Gatorade logo on it and gulped it. It came out a little more desperate and forceful than intended but you figured he got the general ‘welcome’ message. When you finally came up for air he looked at you in awe and gave a chuckle, “Well hello to you too.”

    “Sorry, it’s just Cheryl’s been crazy all practice. This is literally the first water break we’ve gotten.”

    “Cheryl? Crazy? How new and different for her.” He leaned in to kiss you but you dipped out of the way.

    “I promise you don’t want to kiss me Arch, I’m really sweaty.” You handed him the bottle back.

    “Yeah, but I’m really sweaty too so it cancels out,” he leaned in and kissed you softly.

    You smiled up at him, “Ah yes, simple algebra. How could I forget?”

    The nice moment you were sharing was interrupted by the sound of nails on a chalkboard, also known as Cheryl Blossom’s voice through a megaphone, “ONE MINUTE”.

    Your head whipped around back to your boyfriend. You HAD to get out of this practice, and you had an idea of how. “Archie.”

    “Yeah?”

    “I need you to stomp on my foot right now.”

    He shook his head in confusion, “What? Why? You’re kidding, right?”

    “Archie please. I don’t have time for questions. Cheryl is gonna kill me, at least if I don’t get to her first. Now just please stomp on my foot. With the cleat, she’ll check for damage.”

    “You’re not kidding. Y/n! no! I’m not just going to crush your foot. Are you crazy?”

    “Come on!” you pleaded with him. You looked over at Cheryl. You could tell even from this far away that she was getting increasingly impatient which meant that you were running out of time. “You don’t even have to stomp that hard! Just like, leave a mark or something, I’ll act out the rest!”

    “Y/n, I’m not going to stomp on your foot.”

    “Archie,” you widened your eyes at him and talked slowly and deliberately. “I swear to the lord above if you do not stomp on my foot, with cleat, right now, then I will not talk to you for a solid week. I swear.”

    He opened his mouth to say something, contemplating what to do. He really didn’t want to hurt your foot but he knew that, strangely, you would be really mad at him if he didn’t.

    Cheryl’s voice rang from the megaphone, “LET’S TAKE IT FROM THE TOP VIXENS!”

    Archie went against his better judgment, lifting his foot about two feet off the ground and slammed it down onto your soft sneaker.

    “SHIT!” You buckled over and grabbed your foot in pain, balancing yourself by holding onto Archie with your other hand.

    “I’m so sorry. Are you okay? I really didn’t want to –”

    “It’s fine, Arch. That was perfect. But I will need you to carry me over to Cheryl. She’ll want to see this.”

    He put the rest of his equipment in his bag and lifted you up bridal style and headed towards the cheer squad. “Cheryl’s going to kill me right?” “Probably.”

    She had her back turned to you as she was yelling at a freshman about how her hair looked unprofessional. “Cheryl?” You called out to her. She whipped around and her jaw dropped.

    “What did you do to my flyer Andrews?!”

    He cautiously answered her, “I’m really sorry, I just accidentally stepped on her foot with my cleat…”

    “Which foot?!” Her eyes were wide with rage. You lifted your leg to indicate. She walked swiftly over to you and roughly pulled off your sneaker, making you wince a bit in pain. Sure enough, Archie’s cleats had left their mark. Your foot was red and it was obvious you couldn’t do anymore flying today. She threw the shoe into your hand that wasn’t wrapped around Archie’s neck. “Next time keep your big clown feet to yourself Boo Boo the fool.” She turned and walked towards her place in the bleachers. “Get out of my sight Y/n and put some ice on the foot. It better be healed by next practice,” she warned over her shoulder.

    You looked at Archie, “I think… we’re free to go.” You looked back at the squad and saw Betty and Veronica getting into formation to run something. Betty reached her arm out dramatically towards the two of you and you could see Veronica mouth the words ‘Take us with you’. You reached back mirroring Betty’s motion as Archie turned away and walked towards his car.

    “At least now we can make our dinner reservation. I got us a table at this great place called Pop’s. You probably haven’t heard of it, it’s pretty underground.” Archie quipped.

    “Oh yeah? Sounds cute. I really will need some ice when we get there though. You know you actually stepped on me pretty bad,” you said to him, knowing how it would make him react.

    “Are you kidding me? You forced me to do it! You threatened me!”

    “I’m kidding, I’m kidding relax. I will need some ice though.”

    “What are you? Some kind of masochist?”

    “Mr. Grey will see you now.”

    911 / mr. lonely - peter parker x reader

    fandom: the avengers/peter parker

    word count: 1335

    character pairing: tom holland’s peter parker x reader

    warnings: none ion think

    prompt: Hey dude I read that cuddling helps you sleep better, you wanna try it out? (taken from this prompt list)

    notes: i watched spider-man yesterday and i busted a fat nut bc it was everything i expected and more. the fucking rubble scene fucked me up so bad omg. tom holland has been, is and always WILL be my unproblematic fave. anyways enjoy i’ve been gone for like a week. (again, gif isn’t mine. idk whose it is. props 2 them n stuff. u guys rock) UHHHHH ALSO i wrote these all in microsoft word instead of wattpad (lmao) so everything is capitalized now???? weird. 

    Hey dude I read that cuddling helps you sleep better, you wanna try it out?

    -

    Sleep has never been a close friend of yours.

    You often lay awake at night, staring at your ceiling until sun shone through your windows, and you were forced to get out of bed and start your day. Of course, the rest of the team wasn’t aware of your sleeping habits, until one day, you collapsed during training before even getting hit.

    “I’m worried about you, kid,” Tony explained, sliding you a cup of coffee. “you might be a superhero, but you need sleep just as much as the rest of the world.” You raised an eyebrow as you took a sip of the bitter drink.

    “I could say the same to you,” you drawled, placing your mug on it’s coaster. “I’m not sure what exactly it is you expect me to do, Tony. Try sleeping? Trust me, I’ve tried. I just… can’t.”

    “Maybe you need a cuddle buddy,” Tony joked, placing his cup in the sink and leaning against the counter. “if you’re ever down for a bit of a cuddle, you know where to find me.”

    “No thanks, old man,” you grinned at his glare. “I think what I need is a drug to knock me out for 8 hours.” Due to your enhancement, there was no over-the-counter drug that could bring you the sleep you desperately needed.

    Tony snorted. “A horse tranquilizer, you mean?” you felt a lot better after flipping the bird to his back.

    That night, you were preparing for another sleepless 8 hours when a knock on the door made you get out of bed earlier than you expected.

    “Peter?” the last person you expected at your door was Peter Parker, yet there he was, standing in his pyjamas with a pillow in his hands. “What are you doing here? Is everything alright?”

    He nodded quickly, and you caught the way his fingers tapped against his thighs nervously. “Yeah, yeah, everything’s cool,” he said easily. “Um, Mr. Stark mentioned that you’ve been having trouble sleeping?”

    You raised an eyebrow at him. “He did?” Peter only nodded in response. “Well, I hope you’re here with a couple of lines of ketamine, because that’s probably my only cure at this point.” You laughed when Peter’s eyes widened. “I’m kidding. Relax. Come in.” He walked in, allowing you to close the door behind him. You walked ahead of him, taking a seat at the edge of your bed. “So what’s up?”

    Peter cleared his throat, and took a seat next to you, holding his pillow to his chest. “Well, I read that cuddling helps you sleep better. Wanna try it out?” Your jaw dropped, and Peter began to panic. “W-Well- Uh, I only meant- Like, you know what? I’m just gonna-.”

    “Wait!” you grabbed his wrist to stop him from leaving, pulling him back. “wait, uh. I think that might work, actually.” Truthfully, you had no faith in this plan and wherever Peter read this, was probably not a reliable source. But Peter was hot and you’d be lying to yourself if you said you didn’t have the slightest of crushes on him.

    Peter looked hopeful. “Really?”

    “Yeah,” you shrugged and took his pillow from him. “wouldn’t hurt to try, right?” Peter’s heart was racing as he nodded, watching you place his pillow next to yours and climb into bed. “You coming?”

    “H-Huh? Oh yeah, yeah, of course,” he said, walking over to the opposite side of the bed and climbing under the covers. He turned onto his side to face you, raising an eyebrow at your stiff figure. “Is this your first time cuddling someone?” You nodded bashfully, and he grinned. “Well, come closer, first of all.”

    You shuffled closer to him, swallowing thickly. “Like this?”

    He covered up his laughter with a cough, reaching over to take your hand. “Is this okay?” he asked, looping an arm over your waist and tugging your body closer to his, chests pressed together. He waited for you to nod and curl your hands up on his chest before continuing. “Relax,” he said, one of his hands coming up to brush the wisps of hair away from your face. “you know I’m not gonna hurt you.”

    That wasn’t your issue. You knew Peter would never hurt you; he was too gentle of a soul for that. But you weren’t kidding when you told Peter this was your first time cuddling. You didn’t know how to do this- what if you messed up? Could you mess up? You weren’t sure how these things worked.

    “I know,” you said quietly, feeling yourself relax against Peter’s body. “this is just-,”

    “New?” He guessed. You nodded. “Don’t worry. Cuddling comes naturally. You’ll get it.”

    And eventually, you did. You weren’t sure how long the two of you were lying there, just talking, but eventually, you’d stopped, feeling yourself become less and less cognitive and sleepier. This was a new sensation to you, seeing as you were actually ready to fall asleep before 7:00am. You remember pushing your face into the crook where Peter’s shoulder and neck met, letting out a content sigh. That’s how you fell asleep, you think, with Peter’s hand splayed across your back, breathing quietly into your hair.

    So of course, you woke up half on top of him, one of your legs slotted between his. Peter had an arm around your waist, holding you steady atop of him. One of your arms was crossed over his chest, your thumb pressed to his cheek. This was the most peaceful state you’d been in, in a long time.

    “Holy shit, he did it!”

    Peter cracked open a bleary eye to see four of the earth’s mightiest heroes peaking their head through your bedroom door, which was hardly cracked open. His eyes shot open once he realized the position the two of you were in, glancing down at your sleeping body then back up at Tony, who had his eyes narrowed and teeth gritted.

    “Fuck, he’s awake.”

    “Hands to yourself, Parker.”

    Sorry, Mr. Stark! Peter mouthed as you somehow managed to move closer onto Peter, nose brushing his neck. He remained helpless as you breathed slowly, obviously still asleep- so he thought.

    “Are you guys seriously spying on them?” Peter could detect Steve’s voice and silently thanked the heavens for his sudden appearance. “Come on, let the kids sleep. They deserve it.” As Steve escorted everyone away, and re-closed the bedroom door, Peter relaxed, squeezing you lightly and resting his cheek on top of your head. He knew there was no way he was going to get back to sleep, but he was willing to lay there and hold you until you woke up, if that’s what you needed.

    “Are they gone?” you hummed, your voice still scratchy from sleep. You stretched, arching your back as you yawned. “God, that was an invasion of privacy. Sorry for this, by the way. I’m kinda all over you.”

    “I don’t- I don’t mind,” Peter stuttered, suddenly very aware of all the ways your body pressed against his. “Really. I’m glad you found a way to sleep.”

    You propped yourself up on your elbow, staring down at Peter with a sort of fondness you couldn’t identify. He looked really good, for someone who just woke up. His hair was a fluffy mess that stuck up instead of combed to the side, and you couldn’t deny that he suited it. And you never really cared for brown eyes until you saw them on Peter’s face.

    “Thanks, Parker,” you said, leaning down to press your lips to his cheek. “I appreciate it.” You rolled out of bed, and you could feel Peter’s eyes on you as you stretched. Holding back your laughter, you made your way to your washroom. “I’ll see you around.”

    “Y-Yeah, no problem! Anytime,” he stuttered, watching the bathroom door close behind you. He touched his hand to his cheek, and grinned. “anytime.”

    One Last Mission

    Hi guys!!! I put up a post about this story asking if you wanted it and the general answer was a big yes. But for those who didn’t see the post here we go.

    ***Summary: You’re a ‘retired’ Level 12 SHIELD agent who has been laying low ever since the Project Insight disaster. Now, a couple years later Natasha Romanoff and Clint Barton show up at your doorstep asking a favour; they need your help on one last mission. You agree to help them out on the condition that they left you alone afterwards. It was fine until it all fell apart…***

    Woo! So that’s the summary and this is the first part!

    It was a quiet Thursday night for you as you sipped on a glass of wine with a new book.  Of course, nothing could ever go as planned as a shrill ring filled the air as your personal phone rang on the table. Silently getting up, you took the knife strapped under the table and held it behind you before answering it. 

    “It’s Black Widow speaking.”

    “Bloody hell, what are you doing?!” Immediately your eyes searched your apartment as you hissed to the phone. 

    “You gave me your number in case of emergencies.” Natasha Romanoff, also known as Black Widow, replied as her partner said something with didn’t quite come through clearly. 

    “I swear to god if it isn’t an-”

    “We need your help, L/N. And you know we wouldn’t be here if it wasn’t an emergency.” Clint Barton, whose code name was Hawkeye, cut you off as he officially joined the conversation. 

    “Don’t cut me off again, Barton.” Levelling the phone with a glare as if it was Clint, you walked back to your wine and downed it because you knew that if they really had come around to calling you, it was going to be a big deal. Subtly, you twirled the knife in your hand and slotted it into into one of the belt loops on your jeans. 

    “I’m not doing anything for you. I’m laying low now because my enemies make the majority of yours look like kindergarten children.”

    “It’s about Budapest.” Natasha’s words stopped you in your track of denial. 

    “I’m sorry, what? I saved your asses there and now your telling me that you messed it up even further?” You could already feel the impending headache begin to ebb its way into your brain. 

    “Something like that.“ 

    You groaned and rolled your eyes. "You’re useless. Give me the eight. Now.”
    As they explained everything to you about the mission you simply sat back down and soaked it all in. 

    “That’s nice but I’m still not sure why you need me. You’re taking your boyband there and I don’t see where I fit in.” You were leaning on the back on your sofa, watching your phone as the two ex-agents talked.

    You could hear rustling from the other end of the line before Natasha spoke. “Y/N, look, aside from us nobody else knows what went down in Budapest.” That’s not true. “And you were a Level 12 SHIELD TASA certified agent who was and still is a myth to most people. We were Level 6 and look at what we do. I think that says it all, don’t you?”

    You knew that she had a point; if they were coming to you it had to be big, and from their explanation you knew they were worried about what could pan out from this. 

    “When do you need me?” You asked and ran a hand through your hair. 

    “We need you yesterday; the team didn’t want to get anyone else involved but we insisted we knew someone trustworthy enough to bring on to the case. Didn’t specify any details so what you say is all they know about you.” Clint’s voice gave away a lopsided smirk and that brought a small smile to your face. 

    “Give me twenty and I’ll be on my way.”

    In those minutes, you had your bag packed; weapons packed in a separate bag; your old uniform on and all of your typical arsenal attached in various places; your neighbour to look after the place; any confidential paperwork hidden away in a safe; and finally your ‘missions phone’ reactivated.
    You walked down out of your apartment building into an inconspicuous car which you had purchased after fleeing DC after the ‘Potomac Disaster’, as the intelligence community had taken to calling it. 

    It was an easy drive to the airport where all you had to do was flash your badge you were let through, no questions asked and both of your bags were allowed with you as carry on luggage. Four hours later, you were driving up to the Avengers Compound in Upstate New York in a rented car and parking in the underground car park at the back of the building. Getting to the Avengers was worryingly easy, granted that you avoided reception in the lobby.

    You walked up the stairs, as the elevator was bound to have Stark’s AI system and cameras in which would alert him to your presence and therefore ruin your entrance. As you ascended, you recognised the two people’s voices who called you and stopped at that floor which was penultimate to the top. You slid through the door silently and no one noticed you, much to your pleasure and you moved into the shadows of the natural evening light that fells in beams into the room. Looking around the room, it had one glass wall overlooking the grounds and a open space plan, allowing easy access to every part of the floor and leaving it vulnerable to aerial attack despite the glass likely being tinted. 

    You just quite happily stood in your corner watching the exchange until soon your moment came.

    “If you trust this person I suppose they can’t be that bad.” Steve Rogers reckoned to Clint and Natasha as the sat in a vague gathering with the other members of the team.

    “They’re better than ‘not bad’, Rogers.” Natasha was smooth in defending you.

    “We know nothing about this person yet you expect us to trust them?” Wanda Maximoff’s European accent cut in.

    “I have faith that whomever they bring in will not betray us as Miss Romanoff’s and Mr Barton’s trust is very hard earned.” Vision placated the people in the room considerably.

    Scott Lang decided to add to the discussion. “Wanda had a point. We know nothing about this person.”

    You rolled your eyes and pushed on the wall you were leaning on. “You know for a fact that I exist; that’s more than more people even dream.” 

    The room turned silent as everybody stood up in some type of defensive pose apart from Clint and Natasha.

    “FRIDAY why didn’t you inform me of a new visitor?”

    The AI replied formally. “Forgive me sir, but I was unaware of the person’s presence. It seems my scans were unable to detect a new life form.” 

    “Remind me to update you.” Tony said drily whilst tapping at a device in his hands. “How long have you been there?” 

    “Fifteen minutes and counting.” 

    You looked at every person individually only to notice that there was another in the shadows, yet they were on the other side of the room. Noticing that you had seen them, they took a step forward and you felt the wind get knocked out of your chest. It had been a while since you had seen the man in front of you and it had not been an easy meeting.

    “Soldat.” It was one word and everybody looked ready to strike and both Natasha and Clint stood up, looking between you and the man.

    “You haven’t changed at all.” His voice. Oh how you missed his voice.

    “I could say the same about you. When was it last?”

    “Beijing?”

    “I suppose Tokyo doesn’t really count.”

    “No. It doesn’t.” A small quirk of his lips appeared as he truly took in your appearance and the bags behind you.

    “Buck? Who is this?” Steve looked between the two of you, lingering longer on you.

    James saw you nod. “This is Shadow; she’s the best in the game alongside The Winter Soldier. We’ve met on numerous occasions, sometimes with conflicting interests, sometimes with common interests.” 

    “Do you trust her?” 

    James didn’t reply for a moment and you metaphorically held your breath. “I do as much as you can at our level.”

    “I’m sorry but that is not much to go on.” Bruce Banner looked at everyone briefly as he looked out on the grounds.

    “That may be so, Doctor, but I guarantee I am the best suited to help you out on this.” 

    “And why is that?” Tony flopped back down on to the couch.

    “The original Avengers such as yourself all had a ranking of Level Six, correct? Well, apart from Captain Rogers who was Level Seven.” You made eye contact with said people. “I was Level Twelve TASA certified. There are only three people who have made it that far. Two are in this room and the other is dead.” 

    “What is ‘TASA certified’? I have not heard of it.” Peter Parker, the youngest by far in the room, asked you nervously.

    “Are you even allowed to be in here? You look like you’re two.”

    “No I’m not! I’m a teenager.”

    You rolled your eyes and looked at James. “Whatever. Just nobody feed that fucking thing after midnight.” 

    Peter looked like a deer caught in the headlights and tried to stutter a reply.

    “Relax kid; I don’t bite. Unless you’re into that kind of thing?” You trailed off suggestively and smirked at the stuttering mess the teen was. “TASA is a badge that can only be earned at Level Ten intelligence or higher. It’s an acronym that stands for Tracker, Assassin, Spy, Agent.”

    “So you’re a female version of Frosty?” Sam Wilson clarified, from where his arms were crossed over his chest.

    “To a degree.” You acknowledged.

    “Which means if you turn on us there’s no hope.” Scott looked torn between amusement and annoyance.

    “I won’t turn on you. I’m here by choice, not obligation.”

    “That’s reassuring.” Somebody muttered and you rolled your eyes.

    “Fine. Maybe this will help reassure you.” You moved over to the breakfast bar of the kitchen and cleared the space so that they could see. “Look and pay attention.”- You pulled off the first item -“Twenty seven inch Katana. Two matching throwing knives. Twelve piece knife set. Glock 19. Two smoke bombs. Single grenade. Zip ties. Handcuffs. Grippy fingerless gloves. Milkor mgl rounds. Glock 17. Blade embedded shoes. Spare ammunition. Lock-picks. Electrocution rings. Tactical belt. Facial armour. Bullet proof bodice.” 

    Having taken all of that off, you almost felt naked in an odd kind of way, all the people in the room staring at you.

    “That’s a lot of kit.” Sam said from his position next to Steve.

    This time Natasha answered for you. “The higher you get the more kit you might need.” 

    “Anyways, Natasha. Clint.” You finally greeted the people who asked you to come.

    “Nice to see you.” Clint replied and Natasha smiled in agreement.

    You felt a probing in your head and made eye contact with the responsible party. “If you want to know something, Wanda, just ask instead of stealing the information.”

    “We know nothing about you other than that your code name is Shadow and that you are skilled like Bucky. What’s your real name?”

    “My real name?” You smirked lightly. “My real name is Y/N L/N, but please, call me Y/N.”

    ………………………………………………………………………………………………………………..

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    10

    favorite movies: Sky High (2005)

    “Compared to homecoming, the rest of the year was pretty boring. Gwen and her gang got what they deserved - now nobody wants to save the citizen. Relax, I’m just kidding! But they are getting to spend a lot of quality time together. Oh yeah, and Ron Wilson, bus driver, fell into a vat of toxic waste. He now works for the mayor defending the city from giant robots. So in the end, my girlfriend became my arch enemy, my arch enemy became my best friend and my best friend became my girlfriend. But hey, that’s high school.”

    • Mom: Honey, come here please!
    • Me: Yeah?
    • Mom: *Gestures to the home page of YouTube on AppleTV*
    • Me: Oh fuck.
    • Mom's boyfriend Brent: Ahh, not too fond of the male gender huh?
    • Me: Uhm...
    • Brent: Relax kid, I'm not here to judge like a homophobic asshole. However, I'm probably a horrible dad since I placed bets on whether my daughter had a girlfriend or not. When she came out I told her about it, but boy was her reaction priceless! Totally worth it.
    • Mom: We're okay with this, but I don't need your younger siblings and cousins to be watching these videos just yet. There's no doubt that they're constantly curious and will click on anything that piques their interests.
    • Little brother: But the gay side of YouTube is the best side of YouTube. Tyler Oakley is the best person ever! So is Troye, Connor, Joey, and everyone else.
    • Little sister: Stevie & Ally are way too cute! Also the Gay Women Channel are hilarious!
    • Me: In my defense, I didn't tell them about these people or encourage them whatsoever to watch them.
    • Mom: *Sighs and shakes head*
    • Brent: A lot of Anna Kendrick and Brittany Snow videos are popping up. I will never be able to watch those Pitch Perfect movies ever again without my Bechloe goggles on.
    • Me: I like you.
    • Brent: If you like me now, you'll love me soon enough. Your mom told me that you're obsessed with that lesbian vampire web series. Well since she says she doesn't have the time to watch it. How about we binge watch it right now?
    • Me: You my friend, are going to regret this.
    • Brent: I sat down and watched all of Faking It for my daughter's sake. I'm sure I can handle 72 episodes that are less than 6 minutes long.
    • Me: Well actually 84 episodes because there's season 1, 2, and 0.
    • Brent: What does this fandom do with their lives?
    • Me: Don't ask that question or else I'll be dragging you down this garbage chute with me.
    • Little sister: Sin. That's all that fandom ever does.
    • Brent: ...
    • Mom: ...
    • Little brother: ...
    • Me: No clue what she's talking about.