I have seen /many/ posts talking about how fujoshi and fudanshi have been and will continue to sexualize and filter Sangwoo and Yoonbum’s relationship. And yes, some do and will continue to. But don’t assume that we all will.
Because I most certainly will not.
As a fudanshi, I can see what is and isn’t a healthy relationship. Yoonbum fucked up (stalked Sangwoo) and is now in an even worse situation. Sangwoo….well, I think you know with him, he’s a fucking murder/rapist/kidnapper. It’s fucked up, utterly screwed up and I find the psychological side to it interesting.
For /years/ I have been studying serial killers. The Zodiac Killer, the BTK killer, the Craigslist killer, and many, many others. I want to see inside of their heads. Why do they want to do that? What is their reasoning? Why would they do such horrid things to another human being without remorse? Why are the so disgustingly sadistic that they kill?
I want to get inside their head and figure out what causes such horrific thoughts and actions.
As a Fudanshi, I can see that what goes on between Sangwoo and Yoonbum is ANYTHING BUT HEALTHY. I couldn’t sexualize this relationship even if I wanted to. Sure, I think they’d be nice together if they weren’t both irrefutably nuts and actually had a healthy relationship.
But, they do not have that in any sense of the word.
Killing Stalking is one of my favorite psychological horror manga/Web comics I have read in a very long time, and I didn’t even know it involved BL when I started it. I was pleased when it was, because that meant that the trope of, “gay relationships are always happy and nice and no one ever gets hurt.”
Uhm, no. That’s not how it goes, friend.
Please, don’t assume that all of us fudanshi and fujoshi will sexualize this incredibly abusive, problematic and horrible relationship.
Part of normalization of homosexual relationships is showing them in /every/ light. We can’t have Junjuo Romantica all the time because that is not an accurate representation at all, (and I’m saying this as a gay man myself.)
I think Killing Stalking has started yet another part of homo-normality for the world, as homosexuality has become part of a horror story, instead of the usual trope of “man kidnaps pretty girl off the streets and takes her into his basement for his personal plaything” like every hostage gorror movie out there.
Killing Stalking isn’t supposed to be pretty, nor is it supposed to be a nice love story with a happy ending.
No, Killing Stalking does not romanticize abuse. If anything, it’s showing some of what it’s like to be in that situation from the point of view Yoonbum.
I’m talking about when he has the “hallucinations” of Sangwoo cutting his neck or killing him when he was preparing to escape. He couldn’t get his body to move from the crippling fear of what would happen if he was found out by Sangwoo.
No, Killing Stalking is not meant to be demeaning to homosexual relationships. Things like this, (abusive relationships) go on in LGBT+ relationships too. It’s not very uncommon either.
I think when Koogi wrote this, they just wanted to write a good, suspenseful, psyche horror that /just happens/ to feature two men, and there is absolutely nothing wrong with that.
In relationships there is a big difference in constantly “fighting with” your mate and “fighting for” your mate and your relationship. The lines can get blurry. You must take the time to decifer the difference.
Relationship represents the greatest challenge for the individual, for it is only in relationship to others that unresolved problems still existing within the individual psyche are affected and activated. Many individuals withdraw from interactions with others, so they can maintain the illusion that the problems arise from the other person because one feels disturbance only in his or her presence, and not when by oneself. The friction that arises out of relating with others can be a sharp instrument of purification and self recognition if one is inclined to use it.
The stench of death was immediate. Bonnie stepped into Kai’s foyer and
was automatically filled with dread and righteous anger; Kai had fed here
recently. Bonnie could sense it, feel it.
“Kai!” Bonnie stormed through the halls, looking in the living room, the
kitchen, the bathroom. “Kai!” She
walked upstairs and found him watching TV in his bed, eating the remainder of a
slice of apple pie.
“Where’s the body, Kai?” said Bonnie.
“Don’t you love eating in bed?” he said. “There’s nothing like it. It’s
just so… decadent.” He put another forkful of pie into his mouth.
“The body.” Bonnie repeated. “Where’s
the—”The blare of the Friends theme
song interrupted her.
“Ah, Friends,” said Kai. “The
nineties might’ve been hell— literally but at least it had Friends. I bet you were into Monica and
Chandler. Not me. Ross and Rachel … people don’t fight that much if there isn’t
something real there.”
“Kai, where is the damn body?”
“Gone,” said Kai, his eyes remaining on the TV.
“Yeah, I disposed of it,” he said as he put another piece of pie in his
mouth, chewing as he laughed at something Chandler said.
“You don’t even have the decency to at least try and lie to me about
killing someone? Or at least try and act like you care that you took someone
“Why would I care? And why would you expect me to. You know who I am.”
“I do know who you are,” said Bonnie, nodding her head, her face etched
with angry repulsion. “You’re a monster.”
“And you’re sleeping with me so what does that make you?”
“Worse,” said Bonnie. She watched him eat the last of his pie and she
felt something in her snap; there was something about the way he was always
eating that enraged Bonnie, it was an embodiment of Kai’s smugness, of his
cavalier devilishness — an embodiment of what attracted her to him and
angered her about him. “How are you still eating when you just fed?”
“Ironically, feeding makes me hungry for human food, like food humans
eat,” said Kai. “Well no, feeding makes me hungry for you but I didn’t think I’d see you for a while with you know, the
intervention and everything.”
Bonnie didn’t bother to ask how he knew about the intervention; Kai
always knew about everything that happened to her. He had his ways. She had long
since given up on questioning what methods he used to acquire information about
her daily life, the life separate from him.
about you, about this, is just wrong on every level; morally, legally —”
Kai put his plate on the bedside
table and stood up, walking toward Bonnie with that deceptively lazy gait he
adopted when he wanted to appear harmless but was actually preparing himself to
strike. “You came here looking to pick a fight,” he said. “Don’t start freaking
out because Jeremy showed up.”
“Don’t you dare say his name,” said Bonnie sharply, the threat in her
tone sliced through the air and split the window so that the glass
Kai raised his eyebrows appraisingly
and Bonnie glared back, her hands clenched in fury. It was a gut reaction;
hearing Jeremy’s name come out of Kai’s mouth spiked her with indescribable
fright that was both violent and heavy with guilt. It wasn’t something she
could explain, only something she could feel and it felt unbearable.
“Me saying Jeremy’s name isn’t going
to corrupt his soul,” said Kai. “Which is too bad for him. He would’ve still
had a shot with you if it did.”
“A shot with me? A shot with me? He isn’t some guy I met at
the campus bar, he’s—”
“The boy you loved.”
“The man I love still.”
“You’re protective of him you’re not
in love with him.”
“How the hell would you know? You
know nothing about me and him, what we were — I died for him, Kai, something like that, what we went through, it
doesn’t just go away. I can’t just wake up one morning not loving him.”
“Who are you trying to convince?”
“Don’t you —”
“And even if that’s true,” said Kai,
interrupting her. “You know it doesn’t matter. Love doesn’t mean the same thing
to you as it did before, what you two were, what you two had, you don’t want
that anymore, you can’t want that,
not after you’ve had this. Simplicity just doesn’t cut it for you now and
that’s all Jeremy is. Simple.”
“You piece of shit,” said Bonnie,
her voice low and dangerous. The lights in the room began to flicker. “I am so sick of you acting like you know
everything about me.”
“I do know everything about you!” Kai yelled, his voice reverberating
throughout the house, cracking the ceiling so that the flicking chandelier
started to descend. “Why else would you be so goddamn angry? Because you know
I’m right and you hate yourself for it. This, us, it’s in you now. You fiend for it, for the places I take you,
you spend all your waking hours thinking about it, driving yourself crazy with
need for it and you can’t ever go back to the girl who stupidly died because she felt the warm, gooey
feelings they sing about in love songs.”
“Oh get a hold of yourself, it isn’t that
why are you here, Bonnie?” The chandelier crashed to the floor and the
cracked windows shattered completely. “The boy you say you love —”
“Stop calling him a boy!”
“The boy you say you love shows up after all this time and where the
hell are you? Not with him! No, you’re here. With me. Your friends ambush you
with an intervention about how much you’ve changed—”
“The intervention was about me fucking a sociopath,” said Bonnie
“And that’s not indicative of how
much you’ve changed?” said Kai. He didn’t wait for Bonnie to answer. “Whatever
the intervention was about, the point is, you’re not with them, working things
out, you’re here yelling at me. And Damon —”
Bonnie let out a frustrated yell
that sent a tremor through the entire house, causing the floorboards to shake.
“Don’t start on Damon!”
“Do not defend him,” bellowed Kai.
“I can’t believe you. My
ex-boyfriend shows up but you’re hung up on Damon?”
wants someone who doesn’t exist anymore. He’s way out of his depth. Damon —”
“Is with Elena!”
“Don’t act like that means he
doesn’t want you! He belongs to Elena but he thinks you belong to him and
that’s something I can’t fucking stand!”
“What century are you in? I hate it when you do that. ‘Belong’? I don’t
belong to anyone!”
“Well certainly not to Jeremy.”
“You’re despicable,” said Bonnie,
her mouth contorted with fury, her voice ragged with vitriol. “I don’t know why
I didn’t just let Caroline and Elena intervene.”
Bonnie charged out of the room and
down the hall but Kai followed her, yelling as he trailed her footsteps down
the staircase to the foyer. “Yeah, Bonnie, why didn’t you let them? Pretty
defensive on my behalf, weren’t you?”
Bonnie whirled around so quickly that Kai flinched but didn’t take a step
back. The floorboards had stopped shaking but the television and radio turned
on to white noise and static, the microwave started to beep.
“I was defensive on my own behalf,”
screamed Bonnie.” I just couldn’t believe the nerve they all had to pass
judgement on me when they’ve all also screwed mass murderers!” She started to
“Stop acting like this is just about sex,” said Kai. He pushed the front
door shut just as Bonnie wrenched it open but used so much force that one of
the hinges fell off.
is just about sex!” Bonnie turned to Kai, gesturing wildly.“There is nothing else here.”
“What do you call what you’re doing
to my house?” said Kai. “I work you up this much that you’re destroying it! There’s power between us,
there’s power in you that only I know how to reach.”
“This is just rage!”
“And hate! God, I hate you. I hate you so much I can’t
—I can’t even — I can’t control
how I react around you!”
“Are we just saying words now? Fine!
How about these ones: pain, guilt, disgust, shame. Those are the emotions in me only you know how to reach.”
“If you didn’t get off on that then
you wouldn’t be coming back every single time!”
“I come back because the sex—”
“It isn’t just sex, it’s fucking euphoria.” Snap! Pop! The sounds of
appliances exploding. “You’ve never had it so good. You’ve never felt so good. You’ve never wanted
anything as much as the pain and the guilt and the disgust and the shame and that’s why you’re here! You don’t want
to escape this!”
telling me what I want!”
Bonnie turned to leave again but Kai
grabbed her by the wrist and jerked her to him so that her back collided with
his torso. His lips pressed against her ear. “Escape it then.”
Suddenly, they weren’t in his house
They were …
Not they. She. She was alone. Kai
was gone. And she was in her dorm. The lights were off. Candles were lit. She
was standing in front of them, holding a lighter and she was in a blue sundress
… wait, she knew this scene, this night. The night after she’d returned from the
Other Side. The night she and Jeremy first …
A vision. Kai had used his vampirism
to implant a vision in her mind; to make a memory resurface and engulf her.
The door opened. Footsteps. And then
she heard herself say the words, “I’ll admit it.” She kept trying to get the
lighter to ignite. “I miss magic.”
The footsteps got closer to her and
Bonnie quickly glanced behind her to see Jeremy walking further into the room,
a small grin on his face. Warmth spread throughout her chest as she listened to
him approach; it was a fuzzy feeling, gentle and light and then —
It was like her entire body
She was still in that blue sundress,
her hair cut into the same short bob it had been on that night but now she was
in the corner of the dorm watching herself and Jeremy, watching her own memory.
“Step away from the candles,” said Jeremy.
“Not one for the element of
surprise, was he?” said a voice; it was low and smug and mischievous, full of
promise. Before she could respond, Bonnie felt lips graze the back of her neck,
tickling her skin, sending her body into a shock of shivers. Strong, careful
hands slowly circled her waist, making her heart pound hard against her chest.
Already, her breathing was shallow. Already she ached between her thighs.
Already, the rage that had overcome her during their argument morphed into a
riotous desire churning uncomfortably within her. He could do this with just
one touch? No matter the situation? No. Bonnie couldn’t allow that.
“Kai, what’s the point of —” She
started to turn around to face him but Kai took her by the arms and angled her
back so that she was once again looking at her past self and Jeremy.
Kai whispered into Bonnie’s ear.
“Watch,” he breathed, nibbling her earlobe. His lips trailed down to kiss and
nip her neck, steadily intensifying the pulsating ache in her gut. He leisurely
ran his fingers up and down the length of her midriff, stroking her skin
through the material of her dress and the effect was immediate, almost
magnetic; Bonnie reached behind her and grasped his shirt, her back arching off
of his torso. She started to close her
he breathed again and Bonnie opened her eyes, pressing her lips together as
Kai’s hand slid down and pressed against her groin, rubbing her dress against
her panties, which rubbed against her. “That, what you’re seeing,” Kai’s voice
was husky as he rubbed Bonnie harder. “That’s what you still want, right?”
Bonnie watched as Jeremy and her
past self started to kiss. It was slow. Sweet. Hesitant. Like they had been.
She remembered how at the time she’d felt like it was a life-changing moment,
how that warmth had enveloped her, how —
One of Kai’s hands slipped beneath
the hem of Bonnie’s dress, his fingers caressing her legs, up and down and back
again, teasing her, taunting her; he stroked her softly but there was a menace
to it, a deviousness to his softness that agitated Bonnie with delicious
anticipation; that inflamed her skin with a lustful need for more and more now.
the hell is wrong with me?
The thought was a distracted one. It
was hard to concentrate on anything other than the feel of Kai behind her,
against her, on her, overwhelming her senses so that the only thing she could
experience was him but she knew, she knew even now that the promise of
depravity, of her depravity the way he unleashed it attracted her like nothing
else had in the past and nothing else would in the future and that killed her.
Kai’s other hand crept onto Bonnie’s collarbone. He curled his fingers
beneath her chin, holding her head in place so that she couldn’t look away from
her past self and Jeremy kissing. The fingers on Kai’s other hand brushed the
underside of Bonnie’s underwear as he looked at her looking at Jeremy and
Pre-1990s Bonnie. She hated how she moistened at Kai’s touch; hated how she was
in this memory with him, watching herself with Jeremy; hated that she had the
power to disengage from this memory, from this game Kai was playing but she
didn’t have the strength to.
Jeremy lifted Past Bonnie onto him
and turned around so that she was sitting on the bed and she started undoing
his shirt with what she’d thought was frenzy at the time but that now looked
“He doesn’t know what to do with
you,” said Kai, moving his hand from Bonnie’s chin. “He doesn’t know who you
are in bed. The depths you can plummet to…” He placed his hand on Bonnie’s
wrist and then moved her hand to his mouth, wrapping his lips around her index
finger. He sucked. Hard. Bonnie gasped. Her knees almost buckled and Kai
pressed her against him to keep her from falling. He withdrew Bonnie’s finger
from his mouth.
what you want? That’s enough for you now? ”
He brought Bonnie’s hand back down
to her side, slipping it beneath her dress and past her panties, guiding her
fingers into herself. He moved her wrist in circles so that she started
massaging her clitoris.
Bonnie moaned, swaying her hips with the movement she was making, with the
movement Kai was orchestrating her to make. She grinded back on him and he
hardened against her, causing a trill of arousal to burn deep in her gut. She
rested the back of her head on his shoulder.
“Watch,” said Kai, his voice hoarse.
He grabbed her beneath the chin again as his other hand worked her wrist into
faster circles. “Tell me that what you’re seeing is what you want now.”
Jeremy and Past Bonnie were kissing
again and Jeremy had grabbed her to him so that Past Bonnie had to stand up to
continue the kiss; they switched positions so that Jeremy was the one sitting
on the bed, he was kissing her neck, she was starting to take off the straps of
“If that were me I wouldn’t have
been able to wait,” whispered Kai. He slid his hand down her neck to her chest
to her breast, his tongue running along her jaw. “I would’ve torn that dress
off you the minute I saw you in it. I would’ve said ‘fuck the party’.”
Bonnie tried not to let his words
lay claim to her body; tried to not only remember but relive what she’d felt the night she and Jeremy first had sex;
tried to appreciate the feelings he’d inspired in her at that time but she
couldn’t. She was devastated with lacking, harsh disappointment; suffocated
with the knowledge that Kai was denying her, holding back from her, not giving
all of himself over to her but promising to with his touch because sex with Kai
… each time it unlocked something within Bonnie, brought her to a part of
herself she didn’t know existed before him, took her to depths that wrecked her
with pleasure, that brought her to a hedonistic bliss that charged her with a
strange empowerment, that brought her to … to …
“Say it,” whispered Kai.
“Bonnie, say it.”
She wouldn’t. No, instead she would — quickly, Bonnie turned around but
before she could kiss him, Kai sunk to the floor, kneeling in front of her,
throwing one of her legs over his shoulder. He kissed her leg with a voracity
that left Bonnie breathless and he trailed his nose down her stomach, his lips
skating over her navel, over her panties; he nuzzled her between her thighs,
tugging at her underwear with his teeth, agitating her ache. Bonnie fisted her
hand through Kai’s hair, clenching tightly onto his strands, pressing his face
further into her, her entire body slick with sweat. His mouth had found its way
to her ache and Bonnie mewled as Kai flicked his tongue and she tugged on his
hair, demanding, begging that he continue,
that he do more but he only teased her, gently licking and then pressing his
lips against the lace of her underwear, inflaming her ache and refusing to
satiate it. Bonnie couldn’t help the moan that escaped her lips and she saw
Past Bonnie stop kissing Jeremy and look up but instead of seeing Jesse like
she had done that night, she saw herself with Kai kneeling before her. Bonnie
and Past Bonnie had locked eyes.
“Oh my God…” said Past Bonnie,
staring at the corner.
Distantly, Bonnie knew that this was
when she’d said “I think Jesse’s dead” but she didn’t know if Kai had allowed
her to say that in this constructed memory. She couldn’t ask. Didn’t want to.
Kai had chosen this moment to slide his hands up Bonnie’s curves, massaging the
dips of her skin, his palms kneading and squeezing her breasts, rubbing her
nipples and a red streak of pleasure flashed before Bonnie’s eyes, making her
lightheaded, making her entire body hot.
“Say it,” he murmured against her
Bonnie made a sound halfway between
a sigh of frustration and a groan of arousal. She watched as Past Bonnie and
Jeremy started to talk. “You. And Me. And this…This is worth it. Any
consequence is worth this.”
How she had meant that then. How
being with Jeremy had taken precedence over physical pain, over personal
consequences, over her own life. How
that type of devotion wasn’t one that spoke to her anymore.
Past Bonnie kissed Jeremy and
started to move toward the bed. The moment she put her hand down and inched on
to the mattress, Kai had grabbed Bonnie from behind, his face still pressed
against her pelvis, and swung her other leg onto his other shoulder so that
only his hands supported her and she grabbed onto his neck to strengthen that
support. Jeremy followed Past Bonnie onto the bed and Kai had moved forward so
that Bonnie’s back slammed down against the floor, her thighs cushioning his head.
He took no prisoners then.
Abruptly, Kai pushed Bonnie’s dress
up and grabbed her beneath the chin yet again, turning her head so that she was
facing Jeremy and her past self. Kai tore through Bonnie’s underwear with his
teeth and then stroked her clitoris with his tongue, twirling and lapping,
burrowing his face between her thighs, grunting with greed. He eased a finger
into her, making her cry out and she wanted to move, writhe as his tongue and finger swirled pleasure into her body, but
she could only watch Jeremy and Past Bonnie together and suffer the waves of
guilt that crashed over her because she’d felt disturbed by the situation but
she was too aroused to care. Kai withdrew his finger and then pressed it
against Bonnie’s lips; she enclosed it in her mouth, sucking on it, tasting
herself on Kai’s skin, as she watched Past Bonnie raise her head to kiss
Jeremy. Jeremy had gently pushed Past Bonnie back down onto the bed so he could
nibble at her neck…
Kai increased the pressure of his
tongue and Bonnie sucked his finger even harder, dragging her nails down the
nape of his neck, moaning loudly, desperately. She tilted her pelvis upward,
urging Kai on, and she felt her ache start to throb into a build that sent her
entire body into convulsions.
And then he stopped.
Bonnie had never before suffered
such violent frustration. It tore through her, making her entire body scream.
The word No! reverberated against her
bones, her blood boiled.
Kai raised his head, moving his hand
from Bonnie’s chin so that she could turn away from Past Bonnie and Jeremy
kissing and look at him.
“Say. It.” Kai’s eyes were
intense. Red. Veins darkened his face. He stared at Bonnie with wicked longing
— there was haughty stubbornness there, the determination to keep teasing her
until she gave in but the gluttony for her lurked beneath that, his desperation
for her to just say what he needed to hear so they could lose themselves in
each other, so he could bury himself in her. And even with all the pain and the
guilt and the disgust and the shame, Bonnie lived for it. The way she could
torture him. The way he could torture her. The power she felt over him and
because of him and wrapped up in him; the savage gratification. It wasn’t
something she’d ever experienced with anyone else, it wasn’t something she could experience with anyone else. Least
of all Jeremy.
“Bonnie,” he whispered frantically.
“Euphoria,” said Bonnie. “You bring
me to euphoria.”
And then his mouth was on hers, a
moan low and deep and primal in his throat as he kissed her with a frenzy so
passionate it made Bonnie’s entire body sing Kai’s name. His lips were
everywhere: her jaw, her collarbone, her breasts; the tip of his tongue
trailing down her throat, he sucked her neck , pushing his hardness into her
groin, making her mewl into his mouth. Bonnie hooked her nails into his shirt
and tore, ripping it in half so that she felt his bare back, felt his muscles
work beneath her palms. She ran her hands all over his chest, feeling his
tautness, hastily removing what was left of his shirt so she could kiss his
shoulders, biting down so that he groaned. He moved away from her, settling on
his knees and hastily began undoing the
belt to his jeans and Bonnie’s body screamed again; she needed him against her,
she needed to feel him, it was physical, any
space between them was torturous. Bonnie sat up and without hesitation pressed
her lips against Kai’s neck, kissing her way down his chest, tasting him with
her tongue, teasing him with her mouth; his breathing turned ragged, his hands
slipped beneath her dress and squeezed her bare behind, which made her squeal,
which made him laugh. Her mouth reached his fly and Bonnie’s unbuttoned his
jeans and tugged down his zipper with her teeth. He inhaled sharply and she
grinned. Then he was in her mouth. He clutched her behind even harder, stroking
its roundness with his thumbs. Bonnie eased him further into her mouth, bobbing
Bonnie sucked harder, Kai’s groaning
and swearing mixing in with the mingled sighs of Past Bonnie and Jeremy entwined
together; she saw them in her mind’s eye, the gentle almost insecure way Jeremy
had rocked into her and as she saw them, she felt Kai, not only in her mouth
but on her skin; his pleasure incensed her. One of his hands was now on the
back of her head, clenching her hair and urging her on and Bonnie twirled her
tongue around him, itching the tip of his manhood with the tip of her tongue,
feeling herself giving in to some sort of satisfaction of pleasuring him here,
in this memory.
It was wrong. And it was depraved.
And she didn’t care. She knew she would later but later was forever from now.
She moved away from Kai, leaving him
wanting like he left her and she started to slide the straps off her dress but
Kai grabbed her by the wrist to stop her and then yanked her to him so that her
mouth smashed against his. He kissed her now with an urgency beyond desperation
now that they were both so close and so ready. Abruptly, Kai wrenched away and
flipped Bonnie around so that she was lying on her stomach and no longer facing
him. He rubbed his hands on her ankles and then smoothed them up her calves,
pushing up her dress, his palms brushing over her behind, his lips suddenly on
the base of her spine and then on her back, on the nape of her neck … Bonnie
closed her eyes and groaned.
“Say it again,” he whispered.
“Euphoria,” said Bonnie.
He eased into her and Bonnie’s hands
turned to claws on the floor, her nails scratching the hardwood. She swore as
Kai started to flex and gyrate his hips, his torso now flat against her back,
his arms on top of hers, his palms on the back of her hands, his fingers entwined
with hers. He tugged on her earlobe as he rocked into her, his thrusts making
sweet contact with her ache. He kissed the part of her back that was bare as he
maintained his rhythm and then removed
one of his hands, sliding it beneath Bonnie and then into her and she couldn’t
help but scream from all of the sensitization. Searing red and a deep blue,
vast blackness … colours, vivid and intense, flashed into Bonnie’s mind —
visual embodiments of desire, of pleasure; she was faint, her entire body
tingled, everything around her seemed to flicker, and she felt herself build,
felt herself rise to an eruption that was sure to wreck her completely; this
was a different from when Kai bit her, this wasn’t vampirism, this was magic,
this was … it was …
Bonnie couldn’t think, she couldn’t
concentrate, she couldn’t remember, she could only feel, she could only
experience, she could only let that far corner of her mind unlock with each of
Kai’s thrusts, his primal grunts constant in her ear. Bonnie put her hand over
Kai’s and stroked his wrist as it stroked her and then she turned her head to
the side in time to see Jeremy rest his head on Past Bonnie’s shoulder. Then
She felt the muscles deep inside her
clench and quiver around Kai, his erection deep within her, his harsh breathing
and strangled murmurs radiating throughout her body. She felt herself roil and
churn, Kai’s movements making her quicken and then she cried out, feeling
herself shatter into thousands of pieces, giving way to oblivion, giving way to
that vast blackness that flashed through her mind; the pleasure too great, too
intense, too extreme for one body.
Nightmares are screams of the subconscious and the attention grab of the ego. In astrology, dreams relate to dream planet Neptune and the Pisces ruled Twelfth House. Dreams are the body’s method of conscious detox. This is tied to the celestial rhythms transmuted by the Sun and the Moon. In astrology, the Sun awakens consciousness and travels through each of the twelve houses hour by hour. During midnight, the Sun finds a home in the watery fourth house. Here we fall into the therapists chair under unconscious hypnosis. It’s hourly movement into the third house of imagery, messages and communication allow the inner world shrieks to burst into light. The Moon is ruler of the Fourth House, and governs dreams and sleep. It’s relationship to the inner psyche allows perceived conscious traumas and distress to replay through dream time trance. Cosmically, dreams represent a moment in time when we are seated in the psychologist chair and confronted with the cinema. These images alert us of the torments and divine messages of our soul, subconscious and conscious experiences.
Cherry and dreams #astrology #dreams #12th house #4th house
A bedtime storylet: The Huntress and the Honey-God (excerpt)
Hey kids, here’s a snippet from my Everlark Cupid & Psyche retelling (prologue here - it’s the one with Venus!Raisa, not Hades!Jack, if that rings any bells), which I tried mightily to finish for Fandom4LLS in August. (Unfortunately, I had precious little time for writing this summer and the submission deadline was the week of my hysterectomy anniversary, which didn’t help. :/) I plan to finish the fic eventually but I thought you guys might like a little extra splash of Everlark for dreamtime, so you’re getting a sneak preview tonight. :)
This sequence features the Everlark equivalent of Cupid pricking himself with his own arrow at the sight of Psyche, minus the love induced by artificial means. ;)
Sweet dreams, little ones. <3
Ten years had passed since the day when Peeta bounded into
the woods on golden paws and fetched a perfect honeycomb for his playfellow – a
perfect honeycomb that held pride of place in his expansive larder, even now –
when he observed his father slipping away from the threshing floor, a lover’s
knot of wheat stalks in one hand. It had never before occurred to the honey-god
to seek his sweetheart of his own accord; he revered his good father and was
obedient to his commands, but despite Janek’s insistence that Peeta wait
patiently for a reunion with his playfellow, he had never directly stated that
his son could not look for her – merely that she was hidden away from all but
Janek, who had settled the family in their place of refuge – nor, more to the
point, that Peeta could not follow him on one of his clandestine visits. Always
the grain-god stole away when none might see, least of all his youngest son,
but on this occasion there was a hesitance in Janek’s manner of departure,
almost as though he felt Peeta’s gaze and wordlessly bid him follow.