relationships in psych

May Sweeps Preview and Finale Spoilers

LUCIFER

PRE-FINALE: Lucifer returns to town on May 1 with a plan to deal with both Mom and Chloe “and it’s going to make neither of them happy,” says showrunner Joe Henderson. “But it’s something Lucifer feels like he needs to do.” Subsequent episodes will take a look at the Lucifer/Trixie (see photo) and Chloe/Maze relationships; introduce Timothy Omundson (Psych) as a psych patient/murder suspect who is legally named God and “appears to know more than he should”; and dabble in “mismatched pairings” such as Chloe/Charlotte and Amenadiel/Dan, while putting Dr. Linda’s career in jeopardy.

SEASON FINALE (MAY 29):  In “The Good, the Bad and the Crispy,” “Everything comes to a head, as Lucifer finally answers the question of: What do you do with a problem called Mom?‘” says Henderson. “It’s the biggest episode we’ve ever done,” as well as the most special effects-heavy. “It’s explosive, but most importantly, it wraps up the Season 2 storyline and then ends on a cliffhanger that sets up what Season 3 is going to be. I hope to have people throwing stuff at the TV when it ends!”

Photoshopped this so that it can fit on an iPhone 6 lock screen! Feel free to use it 💕

Please be careful with me. Sometimes I just get sad and I dont know why.
—  Depression Is Real/Phoenix
Relationship represents the greatest challenge for the individual, for it is only in relationship to others that unresolved problems still existing within the individual psyche are affected and activated. Many individuals withdraw from interactions with others, so they can maintain the illusion that the problems arise from the other person because one feels disturbance only in his or her presence, and not when by oneself. The friction that arises out of relating with others can be a sharp instrument of purification and self recognition if one is inclined to use it.
—  Eva Pierrakos
In relationships there is a big difference in constantly “fighting with” your mate and “fighting for” your mate and your relationship. The lines can get blurry. You must take the time to decifer the difference.
—  Girl Meets World
You teach people how to treat you by what you continue to allow & reinforce and what you decide not to take and either put a stop to or simply walk away.
—  Life 101 (PhoenixRysin - blogger)
While everyone was falling head over heels with her physical beauty,she waited on the person who truely saw her and appreciated her inner beauty. Kissed the parts she thought were ugly and healed her wounded heart.
—  True Love~PhoenixRysin
Euphoria {Pt. 2}

OK so there were so many ways this could’ve gone and I played around with all of the scenarios *trust me) and I felt like this was the one that was the most interesting and most exciting. Pt. 2 definitely isn’t as raunchy as some of my other one shots but I think it’s one of the sexiest ones and also one of the ones that’s more this-is-disturbing-but-hot-anyway, which is what I wanted to go for. I really, really REALLY hope you guys enjoy this installation because I am excited for you all to read it and I think it gets into their relationship and into Bonnie’s psyche about the relationship a little bit more and I think it’s very honest. I’m going to link part here just in case you guys want to read it back-to-back: http://zalrb.tumblr.com/post/134700408935/a-woman-possessed-pt1 and because no one answered my call for gifs/manips I just used ones already made :) People to tag: ‘bonkais-witchywoo bonkai-is-life bonkai-diaries bonkaiforever bonkaiqueen bonkaimonluv thewitchandlonerdiaries humbu-bumbu beccacupcakesxo writeturnlove wasabicakes jordanjanellejoy darkbonkai offlinebonkai malachaibennett misslilmel kissmebluesexyvioletsme melissasbamonromantictales mysticfalls-originals l0nd0ninnit much-lemons queensfelicity sunnydrive92 sobeyondtwisted @iddieforkai @tasha-sews @ecksnohhs

(not my gifs/manips!)

The stench of death was immediate. Bonnie stepped into Kai’s foyer and was automatically filled with dread and righteous anger; Kai had fed here recently. Bonnie could sense it, feel it.

“Kai!” Bonnie stormed through the halls, looking in the living room, the kitchen, the bathroom. “Kai!” She walked upstairs and found him watching TV in his bed, eating the remainder of a slice of apple pie.

“Where’s the body, Kai?” said Bonnie.

“Don’t you love eating in bed?” he said. “There’s nothing like it. It’s just so… decadent.” He put another forkful of pie into his mouth.

           “The body.” Bonnie repeated. “Where’s the—”The blare of the Friends theme song interrupted her.

“Ah, Friends,” said Kai. “The nineties might’ve been hell— literally but at least it had Friends. I bet you were into Monica and Chandler. Not me. Ross and Rachel … people don’t fight that much if there isn’t something real there.”

“Kai, where is the damn body?”

“Gone,” said Kai, his eyes remaining on the TV.

“Gone?”

“Yeah, I disposed of it,” he said as he put another piece of pie in his mouth, chewing as he laughed at something Chandler said.

“You don’t even have the decency to at least try and lie to me about killing someone? Or at least try and act like you care that you took someone else’s life?”

“Why would I care? And why would you expect me to. You know who I am.”

“I do know who you are,” said Bonnie, nodding her head, her face etched with angry repulsion. “You’re a monster.”

“And you’re sleeping with me so what does that make you?”

“Worse,” said Bonnie. She watched him eat the last of his pie and she felt something in her snap; there was something about the way he was always eating that enraged Bonnie, it was an embodiment of Kai’s smugness, of his cavalier devilishness — an embodiment of what attracted her to him and angered her about him. “How are you still eating when you just fed?”

“Ironically, feeding makes me hungry for human food, like food humans eat,” said Kai. “Well no, feeding makes me hungry for you but I didn’t think I’d see you for a while with you know, the intervention and everything.”

Bonnie didn’t bother to ask how he knew about the intervention; Kai always knew about everything that happened to her. He had his ways. She had long since given up on questioning what methods he used to acquire information about her daily life, the life separate from him.

           “Everything about you, about this, is just wrong on every level; morally, legally —”

           Kai put his plate on the bedside table and stood up, walking toward Bonnie with that deceptively lazy gait he adopted when he wanted to appear harmless but was actually preparing himself to strike. “You came here looking to pick a fight,” he said. “Don’t start freaking out because Jeremy showed up.”

“Don’t you dare say his name,” said Bonnie sharply, the threat in her tone sliced through the air and split the window so that the glass spider-webbed.

           Kai raised his eyebrows appraisingly and Bonnie glared back, her hands clenched in fury. It was a gut reaction; hearing Jeremy’s name come out of Kai’s mouth spiked her with indescribable fright that was both violent and heavy with guilt. It wasn’t something she could explain, only something she could feel and it felt unbearable.

           “Me saying Jeremy’s name isn’t going to corrupt his soul,” said Kai. “Which is too bad for him. He would’ve still had a shot with you if it did.”

           “A shot with me? A shot with me? He isn’t some guy I met at the campus bar, he’s—”

           “The boy you loved.”

           “The man I love still.”

           “You’re protective of him you’re not in love with him.”

           “How the hell would you know? You know nothing about me and him, what we were — I died for him, Kai, something like that, what we went through, it doesn’t just go away. I can’t just wake up one morning not loving him.”

           “Who are you trying to convince?”

           “Don’t you —”

           “And even if that’s true,” said Kai, interrupting her. “You know it doesn’t matter. Love doesn’t mean the same thing to you as it did before, what you two were, what you two had, you don’t want that anymore, you can’t want that, not after you’ve had this. Simplicity just doesn’t cut it for you now and that’s all Jeremy is. Simple.”

           “You piece of shit,” said Bonnie, her voice low and dangerous. The lights in the room began to flicker. “I am so sick of you acting like you know everything about me.”

           “I do know everything about you!” Kai yelled, his voice reverberating throughout the house, cracking the ceiling so that the flicking chandelier started to descend. “Why else would you be so goddamn angry? Because you know I’m right and you hate yourself for it. This, us, it’s in you now. You fiend for it, for the places I take you, you spend all your waking hours thinking about it, driving yourself crazy with need for it and you can’t ever go back to the girl who stupidly died because she felt the warm, gooey feelings they sing about in love songs.”

            “Oh get a hold of yourself, it isn’t that deep!”

           “Then why are you here, Bonnie?” The chandelier crashed to the floor and the cracked windows shattered completely. “The boy you say you love —”

           “Stop calling him a boy!”

           “The boy you say you love shows up after all this time and where the hell are you? Not with him! No, you’re here. With me. Your friends ambush you with an intervention about how much you’ve changed—”

           “The intervention was about me fucking a sociopath,” said Bonnie venomously.

           “And that’s not indicative of how much you’ve changed?” said Kai. He didn’t wait for Bonnie to answer. “Whatever the intervention was about, the point is, you’re not with them, working things out, you’re here yelling at me. And Damon —”

           Bonnie let out a frustrated yell that sent a tremor through the entire house, causing the floorboards to shake. “Don’t start on Damon!”

           “Do not defend him,” bellowed Kai.

           “I can’t believe you. My ex-boyfriend shows up but you’re hung up on Damon?”

           “Jeremy wants someone who doesn’t exist anymore. He’s way out of his depth. Damon —”

           “Is with Elena!”

           “Don’t act like that means he doesn’t want you! He belongs to Elena but he thinks you belong to him and that’s something I can’t fucking stand!”

           “What century are you in? I hate it when you do that. ‘Belong’? I don’t belong to anyone!”

           “Well certainly not to Jeremy.”

           “You’re despicable,” said Bonnie, her mouth contorted with fury, her voice ragged with vitriol. “I don’t know why I didn’t just let Caroline and Elena intervene.”

Bonnie charged out of the room and down the hall but Kai followed her, yelling as he trailed her footsteps down the staircase to the foyer. “Yeah, Bonnie, why didn’t you let them? Pretty defensive on my behalf, weren’t you?”

Bonnie whirled around so quickly that Kai flinched but didn’t take a step back. The floorboards had stopped shaking but the television and radio turned on to white noise and static, the microwave started to beep.  

“I was defensive on my own behalf,” screamed Bonnie.” I just couldn’t believe the nerve they all had to pass judgement on me when they’ve all also screwed mass murderers!” She started to walk again.

“Stop acting like this is just about sex,” said Kai. He pushed the front door shut just as Bonnie wrenched it open but used so much force that one of the hinges fell off.

           “It is just about sex!” Bonnie turned to Kai, gesturing wildly. “There is nothing else here.”

           “What do you call what you’re doing to my house?” said Kai. “I work you up this much that you’re destroying it! There’s power between us, there’s power in you that only I know how to reach.”

           “This is just rage!”

           “Passion.”

           “And hate! God, I hate you. I hate you so much I can’t —I can’t even — I can’t control how I react around you!”

           “Freedom.”

           “Are we just saying words now? Fine! How about these ones: pain, guilt, disgust, shame. Those are the emotions in me only you know how to reach.”

           “If you didn’t get off on that then you wouldn’t be coming back every single time!”

           “I come back because the sex—”

           “It isn’t just sex, it’s fucking euphoria.” Snap! Pop! The sounds of appliances exploding. “You’ve never had it so good. You’ve never felt so good. You’ve never wanted anything as much as the pain and the guilt and the disgust and the shame and that’s why you’re here! You don’t want to escape this!”

           “Stop telling me what I want!”

           Bonnie turned to leave again but Kai grabbed her by the wrist and jerked her to him so that her back collided with his torso. His lips pressed against her ear. “Escape it then.”

           Suddenly, they weren’t in his house anymore.    

           They were …

           Not they. She. She was alone. Kai was gone. And she was in her dorm. The lights were off. Candles were lit. She was standing in front of them, holding a lighter and she was in a blue sundress … wait, she knew this scene, this night. The night after she’d returned from the Other Side. The night she and Jeremy first …

           A vision. Kai had used his vampirism to implant a vision in her mind; to make a memory resurface and engulf her.

           The door opened. Footsteps. And then she heard herself say the words, “I’ll admit it.” She kept trying to get the lighter to ignite. “I miss magic.”

           The footsteps got closer to her and Bonnie quickly glanced behind her to see Jeremy walking further into the room, a small grin on his face. Warmth spread throughout her chest as she listened to him approach; it was a fuzzy feeling, gentle and light and then —

           It was like her entire body pulsated.

           She was still in that blue sundress, her hair cut into the same short bob it had been on that night but now she was in the corner of the dorm watching herself and Jeremy, watching her own memory. “Step away from the candles,” said Jeremy.

           “Not one for the element of surprise, was he?” said a voice; it was low and smug and mischievous, full of promise. Before she could respond, Bonnie felt lips graze the back of her neck, tickling her skin, sending her body into a shock of shivers. Strong, careful hands slowly circled her waist, making her heart pound hard against her chest. Already, her breathing was shallow. Already she ached between her thighs. Already, the rage that had overcome her during their argument morphed into a riotous desire churning uncomfortably within her. He could do this with just one touch? No matter the situation? No. Bonnie couldn’t allow that.

           “Kai, what’s the point of —” She started to turn around to face him but Kai took her by the arms and angled her back so that she was once again looking at her past self and Jeremy.

           Kai whispered into Bonnie’s ear. “Watch,” he breathed, nibbling her earlobe. His lips trailed down to kiss and nip her neck, steadily intensifying the pulsating ache in her gut. He leisurely ran his fingers up and down the length of her midriff, stroking her skin through the material of her dress and the effect was immediate, almost magnetic; Bonnie reached behind her and grasped his shirt, her back arching off of his torso.  She started to close her eyes.

           “Watch,” he breathed again and Bonnie opened her eyes, pressing her lips together as Kai’s hand slid down and pressed against her groin, rubbing her dress against her panties, which rubbed against her. “That, what you’re seeing,” Kai’s voice was husky as he rubbed Bonnie harder. “That’s what you still want, right?”  

           Bonnie watched as Jeremy and her past self started to kiss. It was slow. Sweet. Hesitant. Like they had been. She remembered how at the time she’d felt like it was a life-changing moment, how that warmth had enveloped her, how —

           One of Kai’s hands slipped beneath the hem of Bonnie’s dress, his fingers caressing her legs, up and down and back again, teasing her, taunting her; he stroked her softly but there was a menace to it, a deviousness to his softness that agitated Bonnie with delicious anticipation; that inflamed her skin with a lustful need for more and more now.

           What the hell is wrong with me?

           The thought was a distracted one. It was hard to concentrate on anything other than the feel of Kai behind her, against her, on her, overwhelming her senses so that the only thing she could experience was him but she knew, she knew even now that the promise of depravity, of her depravity the way he unleashed it attracted her like nothing else had in the past and nothing else would in the future and that killed her.

Kai’s other hand crept onto Bonnie’s collarbone. He curled his fingers beneath her chin, holding her head in place so that she couldn’t look away from her past self and Jeremy kissing. The fingers on Kai’s other hand brushed the underside of Bonnie’s underwear as he looked at her looking at Jeremy and Pre-1990s Bonnie. She hated how she moistened at Kai’s touch; hated how she was in this memory with him, watching herself with Jeremy; hated that she had the power to disengage from this memory, from this game Kai was playing but she didn’t have the strength to.

           Jeremy lifted Past Bonnie onto him and turned around so that she was sitting on the bed and she started undoing his shirt with what she’d thought was frenzy at the time but that now looked woefully restrained.

           “He doesn’t know what to do with you,” said Kai, moving his hand from Bonnie’s chin. “He doesn’t know who you are in bed. The depths you can plummet to…” He placed his hand on Bonnie’s wrist and then moved her hand to his mouth, wrapping his lips around her index finger. He sucked. Hard. Bonnie gasped. Her knees almost buckled and Kai pressed her against him to keep her from falling. He withdrew Bonnie’s finger from his mouth.

           “That’s what you want? That’s enough for you now? ”

           He brought Bonnie’s hand back down to her side, slipping it beneath her dress and past her panties, guiding her fingers into herself. He moved her wrist in circles so that she started massaging her clitoris.

           “Oh.” Bonnie moaned, swaying her hips with the movement she was making, with the movement Kai was orchestrating her to make. She grinded back on him and he hardened against her, causing a trill of arousal to burn deep in her gut. She rested the back of her head on his shoulder.

           “Watch,” said Kai, his voice hoarse. He grabbed her beneath the chin again as his other hand worked her wrist into faster circles. “Tell me that what you’re seeing is what you want now.”

           Jeremy and Past Bonnie were kissing again and Jeremy had grabbed her to him so that Past Bonnie had to stand up to continue the kiss; they switched positions so that Jeremy was the one sitting on the bed, he was kissing her neck, she was starting to take off the straps of her dress…

           “If that were me I wouldn’t have been able to wait,” whispered Kai. He slid his hand down her neck to her chest to her breast, his tongue running along her jaw. “I would’ve torn that dress off you the minute I saw you in it. I would’ve said ‘fuck the party’.”

           Bonnie tried not to let his words lay claim to her body; tried to not only remember but relive what she’d felt the night she and Jeremy first had sex; tried to appreciate the feelings he’d inspired in her at that time but she couldn’t. She was devastated with lacking, harsh disappointment; suffocated with the knowledge that Kai was denying her, holding back from her, not giving all of himself over to her but promising to with his touch because sex with Kai … each time it unlocked something within Bonnie, brought her to a part of herself she didn’t know existed before him, took her to depths that wrecked her with pleasure, that brought her to a hedonistic bliss that charged her with a strange empowerment, that brought her to … to …

“Say it,” whispered Kai.

No.

“Bonnie, say it.”

She wouldn’t. No, instead she would — quickly, Bonnie turned around but before she could kiss him, Kai sunk to the floor, kneeling in front of her, throwing one of her legs over his shoulder. He kissed her leg with a voracity that left Bonnie breathless and he trailed his nose down her stomach, his lips skating over her navel, over her panties; he nuzzled her between her thighs, tugging at her underwear with his teeth, agitating her ache. Bonnie fisted her hand through Kai’s hair, clenching tightly onto his strands, pressing his face further into her, her entire body slick with sweat. His mouth had found its way to her ache and Bonnie mewled as Kai flicked his tongue and she tugged on his hair, demanding, begging that he continue, that he do more but he only teased her, gently licking and then pressing his lips against the lace of her underwear, inflaming her ache and refusing to satiate it. Bonnie couldn’t help the moan that escaped her lips and she saw Past Bonnie stop kissing Jeremy and look up but instead of seeing Jesse like she had done that night, she saw herself with Kai kneeling before her. Bonnie and Past Bonnie had locked eyes.

           “Oh my God…” said Past Bonnie, staring at the corner.

           Distantly, Bonnie knew that this was when she’d said “I think Jesse’s dead” but she didn’t know if Kai had allowed her to say that in this constructed memory. She couldn’t ask. Didn’t want to. Kai had chosen this moment to slide his hands up Bonnie’s curves, massaging the dips of her skin, his palms kneading and squeezing her breasts, rubbing her nipples and a red streak of pleasure flashed before Bonnie’s eyes, making her lightheaded, making her entire body hot.

           “Kai…”

           “Say it,” he murmured against her skin.

           Bonnie made a sound halfway between a sigh of frustration and a groan of arousal. She watched as Past Bonnie and Jeremy started to talk. “You. And Me. And this…This is worth it. Any consequence is worth this.”

           How she had meant that then. How being with Jeremy had taken precedence over physical pain, over personal consequences, over her own life. How that type of devotion wasn’t one that spoke to her anymore.

Past Bonnie kissed Jeremy and started to move toward the bed. The moment she put her hand down and inched on to the mattress, Kai had grabbed Bonnie from behind, his face still pressed against her pelvis, and swung her other leg onto his other shoulder so that only his hands supported her and she grabbed onto his neck to strengthen that support. Jeremy followed Past Bonnie onto the bed and Kai had moved forward so that Bonnie’s back slammed down against the floor, her thighs cushioning his head.

           He took no prisoners then.

           Abruptly, Kai pushed Bonnie’s dress up and grabbed her beneath the chin yet again, turning her head so that she was facing Jeremy and her past self. Kai tore through Bonnie’s underwear with his teeth and then stroked her clitoris with his tongue, twirling and lapping, burrowing his face between her thighs, grunting with greed. He eased a finger into her, making her cry out and she wanted to move, writhe as his tongue and finger swirled pleasure into her body, but she could only watch Jeremy and Past Bonnie together and suffer the waves of guilt that crashed over her because she’d felt disturbed by the situation but she was too aroused to care. Kai withdrew his finger and then pressed it against Bonnie’s lips; she enclosed it in her mouth, sucking on it, tasting herself on Kai’s skin, as she watched Past Bonnie raise her head to kiss Jeremy. Jeremy had gently pushed Past Bonnie back down onto the bed so he could nibble at her neck…

           Kai increased the pressure of his tongue and Bonnie sucked his finger even harder, dragging her nails down the nape of his neck, moaning loudly, desperately. She tilted her pelvis upward, urging Kai on, and she felt her ache start to throb into a build that sent her entire body into convulsions.

           And then he stopped.

           Bonnie had never before suffered such violent frustration. It tore through her, making her entire body scream. The word No! reverberated against her bones, her blood boiled.

           Kai raised his head, moving his hand from Bonnie’s chin so that she could turn away from Past Bonnie and Jeremy kissing and look at him.

“Say. It.” Kai’s eyes were intense. Red. Veins darkened his face. He stared at Bonnie with wicked longing — there was haughty stubbornness there, the determination to keep teasing her until she gave in but the gluttony for her lurked beneath that, his desperation for her to just say what he needed to hear so they could lose themselves in each other, so he could bury himself in her. And even with all the pain and the guilt and the disgust and the shame, Bonnie lived for it. The way she could torture him. The way he could torture her. The power she felt over him and because of him and wrapped up in him; the savage gratification. It wasn’t something she’d ever experienced with anyone else, it wasn’t something she could experience with anyone else. Least of all Jeremy.

           “Bonnie,” he whispered frantically.

           “Euphoria,” said Bonnie. “You bring me to euphoria.”

           And then his mouth was on hers, a moan low and deep and primal in his throat as he kissed her with a frenzy so passionate it made Bonnie’s entire body sing Kai’s name. His lips were everywhere: her jaw, her collarbone, her breasts; the tip of his tongue trailing down her throat, he sucked her neck , pushing his hardness into her groin, making her mewl into his mouth. Bonnie hooked her nails into his shirt and tore, ripping it in half so that she felt his bare back, felt his muscles work beneath her palms. She ran her hands all over his chest, feeling his tautness, hastily removing what was left of his shirt so she could kiss his shoulders, biting down so that he groaned. He moved away from her, settling on his knees and hastily began undoing  the belt to his jeans and Bonnie’s body screamed again; she needed him against her, she needed to feel him, it was physical, any space between them was torturous. Bonnie sat up and without hesitation pressed her lips against Kai’s neck, kissing her way down his chest, tasting him with her tongue, teasing him with her mouth; his breathing turned ragged, his hands slipped beneath her dress and squeezed her bare behind, which made her squeal, which made him laugh. Her mouth reached his fly and Bonnie’s unbuttoned his jeans and tugged down his zipper with her teeth. He inhaled sharply and she grinned. Then he was in her mouth. He clutched her behind even harder, stroking its roundness with his thumbs. Bonnie eased him further into her mouth, bobbing her head.

           “Shit,” he breathed.

           Bonnie sucked harder, Kai’s groaning and swearing mixing in with the mingled sighs of Past Bonnie and Jeremy entwined together; she saw them in her mind’s eye, the gentle almost insecure way Jeremy had rocked into her and as she saw them, she felt Kai, not only in her mouth but on her skin; his pleasure incensed her. One of his hands was now on the back of her head, clenching her hair and urging her on and Bonnie twirled her tongue around him, itching the tip of his manhood with the tip of her tongue, feeling herself giving in to some sort of satisfaction of pleasuring him here, in this memory.

           It was wrong. And it was depraved. And she didn’t care. She knew she would later but later was forever from now.

           She moved away from Kai, leaving him wanting like he left her and she started to slide the straps off her dress but Kai grabbed her by the wrist to stop her and then yanked her to him so that her mouth smashed against his. He kissed her now with an urgency beyond desperation now that they were both so close and so ready. Abruptly, Kai wrenched away and flipped Bonnie around so that she was lying on her stomach and no longer facing him. He rubbed his hands on her ankles and then smoothed them up her calves, pushing up her dress, his palms brushing over her behind, his lips suddenly on the base of her spine and then on her back, on the nape of her neck … Bonnie closed her eyes and groaned.

           “Say it again,” he whispered.

           “Euphoria,” said Bonnie.

           He eased into her and Bonnie’s hands turned to claws on the floor, her nails scratching the hardwood. She swore as Kai started to flex and gyrate his hips, his torso now flat against her back, his arms on top of hers, his palms on the back of her hands, his fingers entwined with hers. He tugged on her earlobe as he rocked into her, his thrusts making sweet contact with her ache. He kissed the part of her back that was bare as he maintained his rhythm  and then removed one of his hands, sliding it beneath Bonnie and then into her and she couldn’t help but scream from all of the sensitization. Searing red and a deep blue, vast blackness … colours, vivid and intense, flashed into Bonnie’s mind — visual embodiments of desire, of pleasure; she was faint, her entire body tingled, everything around her seemed to flicker, and she felt herself build, felt herself rise to an eruption that was sure to wreck her completely; this was a different from when Kai bit her, this wasn’t vampirism, this was magic, this was … it was …

           Oh God.

           Bonnie couldn’t think, she couldn’t concentrate, she couldn’t remember, she could only feel, she could only experience, she could only let that far corner of her mind unlock with each of Kai’s thrusts, his primal grunts constant in her ear. Bonnie put her hand over Kai’s and stroked his wrist as it stroked her and then she turned her head to the side in time to see Jeremy rest his head on Past Bonnie’s shoulder. Then —

           She felt the muscles deep inside her clench and quiver around Kai, his erection deep within her, his harsh breathing and strangled murmurs radiating throughout her body. She felt herself roil and churn, Kai’s movements making her quicken and then she cried out, feeling herself shatter into thousands of pieces, giving way to oblivion, giving way to that vast blackness that flashed through her mind; the pleasure too great, too intense, too extreme for one body.

           Euphoria.

Feel Me

A/N: *coughs* um this is the first time I’ve done this so be nice byeeee.
Rating: M

There was no such thing as a clear cut case, every single unsub came with their own challenges and lessons for the team. Even classic psychologies had their variations, showing so many permutations of human relationships affecting the human psyche. Some cases were harder to accept the details on than others, especially those with children and those that left behind grieving partners or parents.

Derek looked out over the hillside scene through his darkly shaded aviators, feeling the heat of the evening sun starting to fade. There were several open, shallow graves, each cordoned off and attended by a lab tech as they collected evidence. He’d been stood there for some time, so long that he’d shifted his weight onto one leg and rested his hands on his hips lazily. Something about this case had stirred something.

“Something bothering you?” asked David as he walked up from behind and surveyed the scene.

“I dunno,” replied Derek with a sigh. “You ever get the feeling that attachment to others only leads to weakness?”

“Morgan, all of these couples died thinking they were saving their partners. It’s sick, but in a way it kind of reaffirms your belief in humanity a little to know that there are still people out there that’ll die for their loved ones,” David sighed too. “If I had the chance, I’d go back and trade places with Erin. I just wish I could let her know that she could have known that.”

Derek smiled weakly to his colleague to show he understood but at that moment, Spencer had arrived, looking over the scene too. The three exchanged wordless greetings but Derek seemed distant still, making an excuse and wandering off to find the others.

“Is he ok?” asked Spencer. “Did I do something?”

“I don’t know, kid,” replied David, shrugging. “He’s seemed more and more distant the more we learned about the case. I guess something was hitting a little close to home.”

Spencer glanced back to watch Derek walking alone in the distance, still wondering what exactly was on his mind.

~

Having been able to build up a profile quite quickly, the team had very little paper work to do once they’d arrived back at the office. Most had already left but Spencer, Derek and Aaron had remained. Derek and Aaron were discussing the last part of the case in the kitchenette when Spencer walked in to make himself one last coffee before home.

“…ok, thanks, Morgan,” Aaron said, turning to leave. “Night, Reid.”

“Night, Hotch,” he replied as they passed each other. Derek and Spencer acknowledged each other but Derek started to move away. “Wait, Morgan…”

“Yeah?” asked Derek as he stopped, eager to leave but trying not to be rude.

“Is everything alright?” asked Spencer, pursing his lips and tucking his hair behind his ear as he leaned against the counter.

“I’m fine, kid, don’t worry,” he replied trying to turn away.

“There was clearly something in that case that affected you,” Spencer started. “And based on the subject matter, I’d guess it was about your relationship with someone.”

“Did you just profile me?” Derek asked, turning around again. “Don’t do that.”

“I didn’t mean to I’m just… worried.”

“Don’t be,” Derek seemed almost angry but he knew Spencer was only being a friend. But that was the problem. “I just… there are people I care about and sometimes these cases make me worry.”

“That’s why we do what we do,” Spencer added but Derek shook his head.

“We’ve proved so many times that the people we struggle to protect the most are the people around us and I’ve seen you get hurt on more than one occasion,” he replied.

“Me?” Spencer asked, confused.

“Never mind,” Derek said, turning away again but Spencer moved forward, taking his hand to stop him.

There was a pause as Derek looked down at the hand on his, but he wasn’t angry. Instead, he put his other hand on top of Spencer’s in mutual respect.

“Morgan, you told me something once, without saying it. I’ve never forgotten that,” Spencer started, looking at their hands too. “I know we all care about each other but you’ve always had my back. Always.”

“And I always will, ok?”

“But…”

“Don’t make me say it, kid.”

“I just want to know for sure.”

“You already know, I can tell… night, Reid,” said Derek as he turned yet again but Spencer saw the opportunity to repay him, stepping up behind him and wrapping his arms around his shoulders and resting his head against him. “Alright, fine. I care about you.”

“I know,” replied Spencer but Derek turned around, looking into his eyes.

“No, I mean I care about you,” he started, taking hold of Spencer’s hands. “I think about you all the time and sometimes I feel guilty but most of the time it’s just… I don’t even know what.”

“Wait… you mean…?” he asked.

“Yeah, Reid,” he said, trying to slope away again but Spencer moved around him.

“Why didn’t you say something?” he asked

“You’re kidding, right?”

“I’m serious, why would you let something like that go?”

“Let it go?”

There was a pause as they stared at each other, trying to figure each other out and what they were both feeling in that moment. It was strange to Spencer, considering he’d always seen Derek as something of a player with the ladies but then in was psychology 101 for his upbringing. Neither had noticed the magnetism acting upon them as they subconsciously edged closer to each other till eventually they were inches from each other. It was unexplainable, but in that moment, Derek could no longer hide what he wanted, staring at Spencer’s lips as he swallowed nervously.

Finally, and without objection, he leaned in, pressing his lips against Spencer’s, letting his hand slide up his side to cup his jaw as they kissed. It took Spencer a moment to really understand it but he eventually kissed Derek back, letting his hands slide around his waist, allowing himself to be pushed back up against the counter as the pent up feelings were finally being released in the darkened and silent office space.

Hands wandered from inch to inch as they couldn’t help but explore this new and exciting physicality that they could now discover. Spencer tugged at Derek’s belt, driving him to lift Spencer up onto the counter, pushing his knees apart so that his waist could slide between them. It hadn’t taken long for Spencer’s fingers to undo the button of Derek’s jeans, letting his fingers slide along the gap created, caressing the skin beneath with his fingernails. The shudder that surged through his body caused him to break contact with Spencer’s lips for a moment to gasp but there was no respite. Spencer let his lips move along Derek’s jaw line till he found his neck, nipping gently at his ear before kissing the soft skin just beneath it. At the same time, he slid his hand down into Derek’s jeans, takin hold of him firmly and pulling him free.

Spencer’s stroking and teasing was almost too much for Derek to take, pulling his colleague closer against him as all of the fantastical scenarios played through his mind. It took a short while of Spencer’s hand running up and down his length for him to appreciate just what was happening.

“Mmmm, Spencer, this is… we can’t…” he started as a small part of him tried to resist. “This is insane.”

“Then tell me to stop,” replied Spencer.

“Oh… I can’t, Reid, I.. can’t…” Derek finally opened his eyes, looking at Spencer before looking down to what he was doing.

“Does it make it better?” Spencer asked. “Knowing that we shouldn’t be doing this here?”

“Maybe,” he replied with a gasp and a grin.

“Would it make it better if I used my mouth?” The devious smirk that had grown across Spencer’s face told Derek that he was serious, making him stutter a little but he was too late to object. Sliding forward, Spencer pushed Derek back, turning him round to press him against the counter as he lowered down.

Derek closed his eyes, letting his head roll back with a gasp as Spencer’s warm and moist lips slipped over him, taking in much more than expected. As he opened his eyes again, he looked around the office space, at his surrounding and feeling completely exposed in every way possible. At the same time, he didn’t care because it was Spencer and it felt so good that he had to grip the counter with both hands.

That was all he could take, he wanted more and he wanted it now, pulling Spencer up from his knees and staring into his eyes. No words passed between the two but they both knew what was about to happen, grabbing up their bags and turning off the lights.

By the time they were ready to leave the office, Spencer had completely forgotten about the coffee that he’d made for the journey home. Just then, he knew he had something much stronger to keep him awake that night and he couldn’t wait, pulling Derek into the elevator. The doors hadn’t even fully closed when they re-entwined, unsure how they would make it to Derek’s car let alone his bed.