relationships cw

An abuser can seem emotionally needy. You can get caught in a trap of catering to him, trying to fill a bottomless pit. But he’s not so much needy as entitled, so no matter how much you give him, it will never be enough. He will just keep coming up with more demands because he believes his needs are your responsibility, until you feel drained down to nothing.
—  Lundy Bancroft
Did Bob Morley Really Just...

Call Bellamy’s relationship with Clarke more vulnerable and open than Gina’s connection to him?

And say that Bellamy and Clarke’s partnership is important in season 4.

Plus added that his scenes with Eliza were “quite good” and fans will enjoy them.

And also wore a Bellarke hat.

Did the Bellarke fandom just resurrect from the dead? I think so.

The thing I remember most, looking back on my abusive relationships, is that whenever I was angry about the way I was being treated and tried to confront my abuser it was never a fight about what I was angry about. He always made it a fight about me being angry. He always made it seem like my anger was the problem, not my abuse.

Abusers will make you believe that the abuse isn’t the problem, that your ‘irrational’ anger is the problem.

Abusive relationships

Friendly reminder to anyone out there who is/were in abusive relationships, whether that be friend, family, spouse, or other type of relationship…

Someone can seem very “perfect” and “nice” on the outside and be absolute shit some/all of the time when other people aren’t around.

No, you are not crazy. I promise. People are not going to see what you see because abusers are insanely good at putting on a show.

Everyone else, please keep that in mind before making assumptions about the inner workings of someone else’s relationship.

this is the hardest part–
that boy is not made of fists.
that boy learned how to braid my hair.

these things do not untruth themselves
when the first door slams,

the way I did not stop loving him
all the months I was holding my breath,

& this is the hardest part.
the way a fish is still a fish
even after she’s been gutted. 

even after her lip’s split clean in half
from the hook
& the hook
& the hook. 

& do you think the fish blames herself?
& her own stupid, open mouth?

do you think the fisherman apologized?
said all he wanted was to hold her.
said, I’ve touched that hook for years
and it never once pierced me,
darling,
how could I have known?
 

& do you think the fish forgave him? said,
I’m sorry, too.
I promise I’ll try harder
to breathe outside the water.

-”The Fisherman Takes The Fish Home And Tells Her He Loves Her,” Brenna Twohy

10

“Love is passion, obsession, someone you can’t live without. I say, fall head over heels. Find someone you can love like crazy and who will love you the same way back. How do you find him? Well, you forget your head, and you listen to your heart. Cause the truth is, there’s no sense living your life without this. To make the journey and not fall deeply in love, well, you haven’t lived a life at all. But you have to try, cause if you haven’t tried, you haven’t lived.”    

One of the worst things about having a personality disorder like BPD with an abusive partner/friend/family member is that you have a hard time realising they’re abusive because:

  • you think that you might be the problem, because being manipulative/abusive can be part of having BPD
  • having no Emotional Permance means it’s easy to tell you that the abuse “wasn’t even that bad”
  • your abuser might be using your diagnosis to make you believe your emotions and/or memory can’t be trusted, because you are mentally ill
  • your abuser is your fp and/or your only somewhat reliable source of comfort, reassurance and attention, so you might forgive them more easily
  • your fear of abandonment makes you put up with everything they do to you so they don’t leave

This is a huge problem and makes us very vulnerable to abuse, even though we are seen as stereotypical abusers.

8

will + looking at hannibal