This all really needs to be said.
However, before I go further I want you all to understand that this isn’t meant to be a hate paragraph or to purposefully put those who like Mon-El and/or Karamel down. At this point, all the disagreeing and fighting will do nothing. So I’m asking kindly that if you’re going to add something to this post- that it is filled with positive intent.
Anyhow, to my point:
I do watch Supergirl by the way, but I truly believe this concerns a wide variety of people. Whether you’re a fan of The 100, Buffy the Vampire Slayer, The Walking Dead, or just a person living your life…
All I hope is that we all try to grasp the reality of what is truly going on.
Now I will centralize this long rant towards Supergirl however. For those of you who don’t know what is going on there is a conflict between fans who ship this character, Mon-El, together with Supergirl/Kara and fans who ship Lena Luthor with Supergirl/Kara. Now, in my humble opinion, the big issue isn’t about straight v.s lgbt people and I will go on about that later… but the fact that she is with someone like Mon-El. Now what do I mean by ‘someone like Mon-El’… before certain people get mad I want to emphasize that I’m simply pointing out what happened in the show.
This is long as hell just fyi.
1) The way Mon-El reacts to most things is through violence. In fact, the moment he wakes up he chokes Kara. And there’s this:
(his words in white)
And the scene where Mon-El robs Brian; using his powers for selfish reasons.
He even calls her names. And notice how he does this the moment Kara disagrees with him. A reaction that does more harm than good. On the other hand, when Kara and Lena disagree on something (in ep. 2x03) they simply talk it out. They ask questions, explain, clarify, and come to an understanding.
Now, I’m not here to say that I have NEVER agreed with anything Mon-El has said, actually I applaud him for accepting Maggie and Alex’s relationship the way he did, but that’s just the thing. The opinions/beliefs he has don’t come from himself. Most of what he thinks is based off of what he’s seen on Daxam. He really isn’t at all mature. He isn’t by any means and it’s simply the truth. Now hear me out-
This is what I mean by he isn’t mature: How many times has Kara asked him politely and specifically not to do something but without hesitation still does it? And how many times has he had to beg for forgiveness?
In addition, he doesn’t have knowledge of what respect truly means. What’s interesting though about this scene in particular- is how it’s supposed to be a ‘funny’ scene. Mon-El’s character is written in as ‘funny’ and ‘aloof’… but it sends a poisonous message- that Kara’s feelings aren’t to be taken seriously. And this show is literally supposed to be about her. Not a guy who thinks it’s his duty to ‘defend her honor’ and then complains about it.
Now I know that this was how people on Daxam acted and their way of life was for the most part, sexist, racist, etc. But that still doesn’t give him an excuse to act the way he does.
2) Lena herself comes from a family with twisted values as well. She is adopted into the Luthor family and has had close to no friends most of her life. And yet she’s still capable of being a perfectly decent person.
She does save the alien population not once, but twice. So not only is Lena proved time and time again that she’s a good person, but her relationship with Kara (btw I call it a ‘relationship’ just like the writers do)… is not even close to toxic, detrimental, or abusive. It’s the complete opposite.
“I can take care of myself”
3) Being in a healthy relationship is about the effort between two willing people… at the same time, knowing your boundaries whilst encouraging one another.
4) Kara deserves someone who fully acknowledges her efforts and is grateful for them
The thing I remember most, looking back on my abusive relationships, is that whenever I was angry about the way I was being treated and tried to confront my abuser it was never a fight about what I was angry about. He always made it a fight about me being angry. He always made it seem like my anger was the problem, not my abuse.
Abusers will make you believe that the abuse isn’t the problem, that your ‘irrational’ anger is the problem.
“I was awful and I’m ashamed of myself because I know what it feels like to be abandoned, how you think you’re worthless and unloveable and your heart hardens to the person who did it to you. Forgiving them is inconceivable. So I know I have no right to ask for your forgiveness, but I still wanna tell you…I’m sorry.”
well first of all its homophobic that mon-ew and kara had sex and have kissed so many times when they have been together for like two episodes and yet maggie and alex have only kissed lightly and they have been building since 2x03 so jot that down
Dear Jane, first, sorry for being goofy in the priest’s office. I was just nervous, because I was scared about writing something for you, a writer. And I’ve been thinking about what to say, which got me to thinking how lucky I was to have met you at all and… all the small twists of fate that led me to you in the first place. And how, in a way, our destiny was just a series of detours bringing us back to each other… again and again. A twist of fate. The night we met, that’s what it felt like. I wasn’t even supposed to be working. I’d picked up a shift for my buddy whose kid was playing in a recital. And then I was technically off, but I took a detour and stopped for a burger a few blocks away. And I was heading back to the precinct when… “We’ve got a noise complaint on 25th. Any units nearby who can check it out? Yeah, I’m right there.” If not for that recital and that burger, I might not have ended up on the doorstep of a drunk 21 year-old girl. That’s not just a series of coincidences. It’s destiny. And I never doubted you were mine. And never doubt that all I want, forever and always, is for you to be happy.
Michael Cordero (Jane the Virgin Season 3, Episode 20: Chapter Sixty-Four)
Yuichi: I played a father for a 12-year-old with a single mother. The girl was bullied because she didn’t have a dad, so the mother rented me. I’ve acted as the girl’s father ever since. I am the only real father that she knows.
“I always ask every client, ‘Are you prepared to sustain this lie?’”
Morin: And this is ongoing?
Yuichi: Yes, I’ve been seeing her for eight years. She just graduated high school.
Morin: Does she understand that you’re not her real father?
Yuichi: No, the mother hasn’t told her.
Morin: How do you think she would feel if she discovered the truth?
Yuichi: I think she would be shocked. If the client never reveals the truth, I must continue the role indefinitely. If the daughter gets married, I have to act as a father in that wedding, and then I have to be the grandfather. So, I always ask every client, “Are you prepared to sustain this lie?” It’s the most significant problem our company has.
Yuichi believes that Family Romance helps people cope with unbearable absences or perceived deficiencies in their lives. In an increasingly isolated and entitled society, the CEO predicts the exponential growth of his business and others like it, as à la carte human interaction becomes the new norm.
An abuser can seem emotionally needy. You can get caught in a trap of catering to him, trying to fill a bottomless pit. But he’s not so much needy as entitled, so no matter how much you give him, it will never be enough. He will just keep coming up with more demands because he believes his needs are your responsibility, until you feel drained down to nothing.