Emperor's New Groove Sentence Starters
  • “More…broccoli?”
  • “Hit him on the head.”
  • “Oh boohoo, now I feel really bad." 
  • "Well that makes you ugly and stupid." 
  • "This is the last time we take directions from a squirrel." 
  • "Are you talking to that squirrel?”
  • “Excellent. A few drops in his drink, and then I’ll propose a toast, and he will be dead before dessert.”
  • “It’s called a "cruel irony”, like my dependence on you.“
  • "Hit the road Bucky!" 
  • "No touchy." 
  • "Why do we even have that lever?”
  • “Ooh, look at me! That’s me as a baby!" 
  • "I don’t make deals with peasants!" 
  • "It’s my birthday gift to me. I’m so happy." 
  • "You know, in my defense, your poisons all look alike. You might think about relabeling some of them.”
  • “Is there anything on this menu that isn’t swimming in gravy?" 
  • "Oh, it’s not the first time I was tossed out of a window, and it won’t be the last. ”
  • “WHat can I say? I’m a rebel." 
  • "You know, it’s a good thing you’re not a big, fat guy or this would be really difficult." 
  • "It’s like I’m talking to a monkey, really big stupid monkey." 
  • "I never liked your spinach puffs!" 
  • "I have no idea, you’re the criminal mastermind here." 
  • "You’re right. That’s giving you way too much credit.”
  • “Anything sounds bad when you say it with that attitude." 
  • "Hmm, don’t know, don’t care. How’s that?" 
  • "Demon llama!" 
  • "Wah-hah, llama face." 
  • "Big, dumb and tone deaf." 
  • "Oh, he’s doing his own theme music." 
  • "I am so glad I was unconcious for all of this." 
  • "Bless you for coming out in public." 
  • "That’s the freakiest thing I’ve ever seen.”
Four steps for conquering symptoms of OCD
  • RELABEL – Recognize that the intrusive obsessive thoughts and urges are the result of OCD. For example, train yourself to say, “I don’t think or feel that my hands are dirty. I’m having an obsession that my hands are dirty.” Or, “I don’t feel that I have the need to wash my hands. I’m having a compulsive urge to perform the compulsion of washing my hands.”

  • REATTRIBUTE – Realize that the intensity and intrusiveness of the thought or urge is caused by OCD; it is probably related to a biochemical imbalance in the brain. Tell yourself, “It’s not me—it’s my OCD,” to remind you that OCD thoughts and urges are not meaningful, but are false messages from the brain.

  • REFOCUS – Work around the OCD thoughts by focusing your attention on something else, at least for a few minutes. Do another behavior. Say to yourself, “I’m experiencing a symptom of OCD. I need to do another behavior.”

  • REVALUE – Do not take the OCD thought at face value. It is not significant in itself. Tell yourself, “That’s just my stupid obsession. It has no meaning. That’s just my brain. There’s no need to pay attention to it.” Remember: You can’t make the thought go away, but neither do you need to pay attention to it. You can learn to go on to the next behavior.

-  Psychiatrist Jeffrey Schwartz, author of Brain Lock: Free Yourself from Obsessive-Compulsive Behavior

FO4 companions playing D&D

Preston:  Everyone assumes that he’s going to play a lawful or neutral good character.  To shake things up, he starts out as a true neutral ranger.  This only lasts a few sessions.  As the game goes on, he slowly drifts towards good because he can’t help himself.  He’s also the one most likely to get involved in side-quests.

Piper:  She makes a lawful neutral wizard and she gets super invested in the world and other people’s characters.  Unfortunately, this results in her meta-gaming quite a bit.  She also always stops the DM to ask questions about random things that at first sound meaningless, but her questions actually end up helping the rest of the party a lot.

Cait:  She made a chaotic good rogue with a 17 strength.  While she started out with good karma, the DM made her relabel herself as chaotic neutral after multiple attempts at robbing and attacking random npcs.  Although her out of character remarks would probably be considered more chaotic evil.  As the game goes on, she ends up not participating anymore and just choosing to drink and laugh at the players’ decisions.

Curie:  She didn’t know what kind of character to make, so the DM assigned her to be the cleric.  Her being a healer would be a no-brainer.  Unfortunately, Curie decided to make a cleric with evil karma meaning that she can only channel negative energy, so the party is mostly shit out of luck when it comes to being healed.  While playing, she gives rather graphic descriptions of how she killer her enemies, using her knowledge of anatomy to her advantage.  She doesn’t understand why her other party members are disturbed because it’s just pretend and it’s not really her doing it.

Codsworth:  He makes a lawful good bard.  At first he’s confident that he’s going to play the game fairly, but as time goes on he finds himself trying to get on the DM’s good side.  He always brings food to the sessions and he always cleans up after.  While this made both him and his character generally well-liked, this didn’t save his character from being trampled by a giant after failing his acrobatics save.  He made a new character after.  It was exactly the same as his previous one.

Danse:  Lawful neutral human fighter.  He read the rulebooks cover-to-cover and built his character to be the most op.  Mostly participated in the fighting, as he felt silly doing the roleplaying.  However, he ended up getting super invested into the story.  Before each session, he always has a plan that he shares with the rest of the party.  They never follow his plan.

Deacon:  He makes a chaotic neutral sorcerer with this super detailed and in-depth backstory.  He does well in combat, but he excels at the roleplaying.  He does the voices and he demands the rest of the party stands up and acts with him.  He talks 1X1 with the DM to somehow work his character’s backstory into the main plot of the game.  Even if some of the other players aren’t into it, it still doesn’t bring Deacon down.

MacCready:  He made 4 characters during the course of the game.  First was a chaotic good druid who died after a failed fort save.  Second was a true neutral ranger who was eaten by a monster.  Third was a chaotic neutral wizard who was crushed by a boulder.  Fourth was a lawful neutral fighter who was sucked into the depths of hell.  He decided that his dice were cursed, so when he made his fifth character Hancock let him borrow his set.  He instantly rolled the lowest stats possible.  But somehow that character survived.

Nick Valentine:  He started out with a true neutral monk, but changed to a lawful good cleric when he realized Curie wasn’t planning on doing much healing.  In the early stages of the game, he got super in-character and he was genuinely invested, but as time went on he found himself playing the role of the guy trying to keep everyone else on track.  They would have spent 10 sessions doing side quests unless Nick reminded them of the main plot.

Hancock:  He made a chaotic good bard who was basically a shameless self-insert.  He did take the game seriously during the main quests, but during the side quests he would often just team up with Cait’s character so they could both fuck with Danse.  His character ended up getting arrested more times than anyone else combined.  He brought custom dice,

X6-88:  Initially dismissed the game since it took him a while for him to understand, but then he started reading the rulebook and he was determined to make the most op character ever.  He spent a lot of time making his lawful neutral fighter powerful, but his face fell when he saw Danse did the same thing.  Then his goal was to be Danse, but better.  It got to the point where he had his character team up with Cait and Hancock as well.  When Danse called him out on it, X6 told him to stop taking the game so seriously, with an obvious smirk on his face.

Strong:  Made a barbarian whose alignment he forgot to write down.  It took a while for the party to explain to Strong that he wasn’t actually supposed to smash things.  He lost interest after that.  There’s now a d20 stuck in the wall from when Strong threw it.

Dogmeat:  woof

64 Mind-Blowing Facts That Will Make You Feel Incredibly Happy
  1. Every year, hundreds of new trees grow because of squirrels forgetting where they buried their nuts.
  2. There is a basketball court on the top floor of the U.S. Supreme Court Building. It’s known as the “highest court in the land.
  3. Even if they’ve never been able to witness it themselves, blind people smile when they are happy. Smiling is a basic human instinct.
  4. Cows have best friends and they tend to spend most of their time together.
  5. Otters hold hands when they sleep so they don’t float away from one another.
  6. Also, there’s a special pocket in their skin where they carry their favorite rock.
  7. A pig’s orgasm can last for 30 minutes.
  8. Wayne Allwine and Russi Taylor, who respectively voiced Mickey and Minnie Mouse, were married in real life.

Keep reading

And those people on their knees, with their heads covered and hands tied behind their backs are unfortunate citizens of Gaza. These are their final moments of life as they are soon to be victims of the Hamas judicial system.

Hamas, who labels them as “collaborators” in order to justify their humiliation and slaughter, will try to relabel them as innocent civilians, perhaps even as children killed by Israel when it comes time to give their daily body count.

Don’t let them fool you.

Painted Glass Labels

So, since we all know that witches love jars I thought I’d share my method of creating reusable labels for glass jars. You can write on these with chalk and then wipe it off for relabeling, I find these particularly useful for dating my herbs or putting warnings on jars but I also use it for canning, for marking spell bottles and writing dates on leftovers. You could also use chalk paint and end up with a similar result, I don’t do this because making it yourself requires a bunch of stuff I never have on hand.

You Will Need:

  • Clean Jars
  • Masking tape
  • Acrylic paint in your color of choice (I like black)
  • Matte Gel Medium
  • Craft Knife

The first step is going to be masking off the area to be painted, I like nice neat rectangles on the sides of my jars but you can be as creative here as you’d like, you could even cut out masking stencils or something. If you do a stencil I would use several layers of tape on top of each other so the stencil is thicker. For jars that are oddly shaped or textured I’ll sometimes skip masking and just paint the entire lid.

Once the label is masked and ready to paint you’ll need to mix your paint color and your gel medium, I typically mix 1:1. Paint over your masked area, making sure you get a full, even coverage. I typically do two coats because it’s hard to get a perfectly opaque coat on the first go. You need to make sure that each coat is completely dry before putting on the next one so kill some time and read a book or dance around your living room or pet your cat (or, if you’re impatient like I am use your hairdryer to speed up the drying process). Make sure that you clean your brushes really well after you’re done painting, gel medium is a bitch to clean out of brushes once they’re dry.

If you’re like me, your label may have come out a little bumpy from your brush or you might have some little lumps from the gel medium not being thoroughly mixed (who has all day to mix paint?). This can make it tough to write on the label so once the label is entirely dry just give it a little sanding before you remove the tape.

Removing the tape is a bit of a trick, this is why you used several layers of tape for more complex labels. Gel medium does not like being separated so if you just peel up the tape you will peel your label right off with it. You have to cut the out line of the label away. Just take your craft knife and trace along the edge of your tape, the thicker your tape is the easier it will be to see. After you’ve cut out your label you can peel off your tape leaving your pretty new label intact. It’s ready to be written on now.

I wouldn’t suggest putting these labels through the dishwasher so if you need to clean the jar hand washing is your best option. Also, one thing I really love about these labels is that if the label gets fucked up you don’t have to scrub it off or anything, just pick at a corner until it lifts and peel the whole damn thing off. 

Now go! Label every jar in your house. Label your windows. Label your mirrors. Label your teapot. Revel in your newfound powers of organization. 


This painting in Hannibal’s kitchen (yeah, yeah, while someone may be watching the fight, I am mesmerized by the paintings around :D - no, don’t worry I am just kidding, Hannibal’s butt takes the precedence everywhere ;)) is called A Winter’s Tale, Act III, Scene III, Desert Place near the Sea by Robert Smirke.

Robert Smirke was an English painter and illustrator, specialising in small paintings showing subjects taken from literaure. He was a member of the Royal Academy.

The Winter’s Tale is a play by William Shakespeare. I am afraid I am not very familiar with it, so I raided the wiki and the likes:  It was originally published in the First Folio of 1623. Although it was grouped among the comedies, some modern editors have relabelled the play as one of Shakespeare’s late romances. Some critics consider it to be one of Shakespeare’s “problem plays”, because the first three acts are filled with intense psychological drama, while the last two acts are comedic and supply a happy ending. (source: wiki)

I really hope that the last sentence will apply to the show! Three acts are filled with intense psychological drama, while the last two acts are comedic and supply a happy ending. (Obviously now we are in the first three acts. And I want my happy ending! Welll… of course it is to be discussed what would a happy end in this show mean, wink wink ;)).


All descriptions of paintings in Hannibal are here.
California Is One Step Closer to 'All Gender' Bathrooms
Amid much defense, an offensive play for LGBT rights sees success...

In a unanimous, bipartisan vote on Tuesday, California lawmakers advanced a bill that would require every single-occupancy bathroom in the state to be relabeled with“all gender” signage, making it clear that none of those spaces are exclusively for men or women. The vote, 14-0, took place in the business and professions committee and the bill will next be considered in the appropriations committee.

The primary sponsor of the bill,San Francisco-area assembly member Phil Ting, says such an expansive measure has never been passed on the state level, though several cities have taken part in the growing gender-neutral bathroom revolution in recent years, including San Francisco, Seattle, Philadelphia, Washington,D.C., and Austin, Texas.


April Fools in the vet clinic

April Fools is a contentious event at the best of times. Japes are meant to be fun and invoke laughter, not cause any distress or suffering. In a vet clinic, they also must not interfere with the duties performed there, as sometimes little lives hang in the balance, and some staff are stressed enough as it is. 

But fun may still be had. A good sense of humor doesn’t go astray, and might brighten up someone’s day. Here are some April Fools pranks that I have played, in vet clinics, during my career. 

  • Book out somebody else’s last appointment for the day with an annoying, chatterbox, hypochondriac client that they hate seeing with a minor complaint like ‘not wagging tail as much as usual’. Delete it half an hour before it’s due to come in.  
  • Relabel the colours on your blood tubes with Derwent or artsy colours instead. (Admission: It took anyone months to notice)

  • Similarly, relabel your urine jars as ‘piss pots’. 
  • While you’ve got that label printer handy, continue labeling other useful objects such as doors and pens. 
  • Also, feel free to label equipment and give them names. I suspect that’s why our ultrasound machine is called Jeffrey. 
  • Replace the erasers at the front desk with cute animal erasers. Next year, rearrange them into compromising or awkward positions. 
  • Fill a nurse’s locker with a wall of her favorite biscuits. (Note: takes some preparation. Other staff are usually very happy to help with biscuit disposal)
  • Create a fake patient for nurses to discover in the morning. In this example, ‘Rover’ is here for ‘Grass seed removal’. (He’s a lawn mower, in case you can’t see. Bikes work well too.)

The most important thing is that these jokes are all harmless fun. They don’t cause injury, distress or interfere with the work of the clinic in any way. 

Oh, and make as many puns as able, all day. 

If originality is a “sense of novelty and freshness” then, in the act of constructing ourselves, originality is not the goal. We construct a self-portrait, relying on existing objects – books, quotes from authors and artists, images, art – that we are more than happy to show off to others for them to use as masturbation material or for the material by which they align themselves. This is the new action painting – the curational archive. The referential self portrait. The portrait of any other artist could be readily used to explain yourself, just reblog it and caption it with “same.” The past consistently becomes the present, not through linear time, but through the constant reconstruction and relabeling of it
—  Gabby Bess

Portlandia in California - Fred Armisen and Carrie Brownstein performed live as Candace and Toni and transformed downtown L.A.’s The Last Bookstore into the Women & Women First Bookstore for a TV Academy “For Your Consideration” Emmy event on June 4, 2014.

IFC redecorated California’s largest independent bookstore into Toni and Candace’s feminist shop, complete with a ceramic labia art exhibit and book aisles relabeled into some of these categories:

  • Feminism for Cats
  • Queer Horror
  • Safe Children’s Literature
  • Holistic Healthy
  • Feminist Science Fiction
  • Breast Poetry

Carrie and Fred kicked things off in character as Toni and Candace in an improv debate with Gender Studies professors from USC and UCLA. When asked about their views on gender-neutral bathrooms, Candace revealed there’s nothing “neutral” about their restrooms. “It’s a war zone.”

IFC then screened the Portlandia Season 4 finale followed by Fred and Carrie returning as themselves with co-creator, writer and director Jonathan Krisel. The cast promised that Season 5 would delve into the backstories of Toni and Candace, and Carrie also revealed that among the celebrities who have approached them to be on the show, she was most surprised with Tilda Swinton, who pitched “Scotlandia” to them.

See photos of IFC’s Portlandia screeners that look like 7-inch record singles »

See our photos of The Last Bookstore, which somehow blew up big on the Tumblr »
Looking for an NSA-proof phone? It now exists.

This is Blackphone. It’s a smartphone born out of a growing desire for privacy, as months of leaks have proven that agencies like the NSA are monitoring our communications. It runs Android, which many might perceive as a relatively insecure mobile operating system; its makers, however, have made significant changes both visible and behind the scenes. They’ve relabeled it “PrivatOS.”

It’s not 100% secure, but it sounds like a step in the right direction. (Countdown til it gets banned?)