rejected idea

Drafting: The Theory of Shitty First Drafts

Writing books often exhort you to “write a shitty first draft,” but I always resisted this advice. After all,

  1. I was already writing shitty drafts, even when I tried to write good ones. Why go out of my way to make them shittier?
  2. A shitty first draft just kicks the can down the road, doesn’t it? Sooner or later, I’d have to write a good draft—why put it off?
  3. If I wrote without judging what I wrote, how would I make any creative choices at all?
  4. That first draft inevitably obscured my original vision, so I wanted it to be at least slightly good.
  5. Writing something shitty meant I was shitty.

So for years, I kept writing careful, cramped, painstaking first drafts—when I managed to write at all. At last, writing became so joyless, so draining, so agonizing for me that I got desperate: I either needed to quit writing altogether or give the shitty-first-draft thing a try.

Turns out everything I believed about drafting was wrong.

For the last six months, I’ve written all my first drafts in full-on don’t-give-a-fuck mode. Here’s what I’ve learned so far:

“Shitty first draft” is a misnomer

A rough draft isn’t just a shitty story, any more than a painter’s preparatory sketch is just a shitty painting. Like a sketch, a draft is its own kind of thing: not a lesser version of the finished story, but a guide for making the finished story.

Once I started thinking of my rough drafts as preparatory sketches, I stopped fretting over how “bad” they were. Is a sketch “bad”? And actually, a rough draft can be beautiful the same way a sketch is beautiful: it has its own messy energy.

Don’t try to do everything at once

People who make complex things need to solve one kind of problem before they can solve others. A painter might need to work out where the big shapes go before they can paint the details. A writer might need to decide what two people are saying to each other before they can describe the light in the room or what those people are doing with their hands.

I’d always embraced this principle up to a point. In the early stages, I’d speculate and daydream and make messy notes. But that freedom would end as soon as I started drafting. When you write a scene, I thought, you have to start with the first word and write the rest in order. Then it dawned on me: nobody would ever see this! I could write the dialogue first and the action later; or the action first and the dialogue later; or some dialogue and action first and then interior monologue later; or I could write the whole thing like I was explaining the plot to my friend over the phone. The draft was just one very long, very detailed note to myself. Not a story, but a preparatory sketch for a story. Why not do it in whatever weird order made sense to me?

Get all your thoughts onto the page

Here’s how I used to write: I’d sit there staring at the screen and I’d think of something—then judge it, reject it, and reach for something else, which I’d most likely reject as well—all without ever fully knowing what those things were. And once you start rejecting thoughts, it’s hard to stop. If you don’t write down the first one, or the second, or the third, eventually your thought-generating mechanism jams up. You become convinced you have no thoughts at all.

When I compare my old drafts with my new ones, the old ones look coherent enough. They’re presentable as stories. But they suck as drafts, because I can’t see myself thinking in them. I have no idea what I wanted that story to be. These drafts are opaque and airless, inscrutable even to me, because a good 90% of what I was thinking while I wrote them never made it onto the page.

These days, most of my thoughts go onto the page, in one form or another. I don’t waste time figuring out how to say something, I just ask, “what are you trying to say here?” and write that down. Because this isn’t a story, it’s a plan for a story, so I just need the words to be clear, not beautiful. The drafts I write now are full of placeholders and weird meta notes, but when I read them, I can see where my mind is going. I can see what I’m trying to do. Consequently, I no longer feel like my drafts obscure my original vision. In fact, their whole purpose is to describe that vision.

Drafts are memos to future-you

To draft effectively, you need a personal drafting style or “language” to communicate with your future self (who is, of course, the author of your second draft). This language needs to record your ideas quickly so it can keep up with the pace of your imagination, but it needs to do so in a form that will make sense to you later. That’s why everyone’s drafts look different: your drafting style has to fit the way your mind works.

I’m still working mine out. Honestly, it might take a while. But recently, I started writing in fragments. That’s just how my mind works: I get pieces of sentences before I understand how to fit them together. Wrestling with syntax was slowing me down, so now I just generate the pieces and save their logical relationships for later. Drafting effectively means learning these things about yourself. And to do that, you can’t get all judgmental. You can’t fret over how you should be writing, you just gotta get it done.

Messy drafts are easier to revise

I find that drafting quickly and messily keeps the story from prematurely “hardening” into a mute, opaque object I’m afraid to change. I no longer do that thing, for instance, where I endlessly polish the first few paragraphs of a draft without moving on. Because how do you polish a bunch of fragments taped together with dashes? A draft that looks patently “unfinished” stays malleable, makes me want to dig my hands in and move stuff around.

You already have ideas

Sitting down to write a story, I used to feel this awful responsibility to create something good. Now I treat drafting simply as documenting ideas I already have—not as creation at all, but as observation and description. I don’t wait around for good words or good ideas. I just skim off whatever’s floating on the surface and write it down. It’s that which allows other, potentially better ideas to surface.

As a younger writer, my misery and frustration perpetuated themselves: suppressing so many thoughts made my writing cramped and inhibited, which convinced me I had no ideas, which made me even more afraid to write lest I discover how empty inside I really was. That was my fear, I guess: if I looked squarely at my innocent, unvetted, unvarnished ideas, I’d see how bad they truly were, and then I’d have to—what, pack up and go home? Never write again? I don’t know. But when I stopped rejecting ideas and started dumping them onto the page, the worst didn’t happen. In fact, it was a huge relief.


Next post: the practice of shitty first drafts

Ask me a question or send me feedback!

3

YOI Future!Verse ABO AU - 4 Koma

Shura’s cat problem

Shura absolutely adores cats and is a very proud self-proclaimed cat person. He thinks Yurio’s cat magnetism is the best magic in the world. Unfortunately, he did not inherit it, which leads to much heartbreak for his poor glass heart, which he did inherit from his mother…

(Featuring OC kid Shura)

*If the comics are hard to read, tap on the image first to bring it up in the Tumblr viewer, THEN right click view image for the unaltered slightly higher resolution.

~~

IF YOU ARE NEW TO THIS AU: It’s a Yuri!!! on Ice AU, Yuuri-centric with end-game polyamory in an ABO setting, Yuuri gets married to four mates (Victor, Yurio, Phichit, Minami) and they have OC kids.

BASICS and timeline of this AU

INTRO to how ABO works in this AU

A SUPER DETAILED world-building headcanons post on ABO+ in this AU

OTHER POSTS (comics + illustrations) in the Future!Verse ABO section of my YOI Masterpost.

~~

Please keep ship bashing out of the comments/tags. Don’t like, just skip <3 Thank you.

~~

PLEASE DO NOT REPOST, EDIT, TRANSLATE, OR OTHERWISE USE MY ART. More detailed rules available on my Rules & FAQ Post.

~~

Like this post? Interested in supporting the artist and encouraging the creation of more similar works? Please consider supporting me through Patreon or Ko-Fi!

20 Behind-The-Scenes Facts About Pirates Of The Caribbean.

1. During the filming of On Stranger Tides, Johnny Depp spent over $60,000 out of his own pocket to buy waterproof jackets for 500 crew members to protect them from the cold, wet weather. 

2. While filming in London in October 2010, Johnny Depp received a letter from a local 9-year old schoolgirl, telling him her classmates needed help to ‘mutiny’ against her teachers. He turned up with almost no warning at the school in full Sparrow outfit, but advised against mutiny. 

3. In Curse Of The Black Pearl, Johnny Depp improvised many of his lines, including the notorious, “Bring me that horizon,” and Jack Sparrow’s catch phrase, “Savvy?" 

4. Depp and Verbinski have a funny way of describing Jack running away from danger. They both compared it to a “lizard running on water.” Looking back at pirates of the caribbean, we can totally see where they’re coming from.

5. The cast and crew walked away from filming with tons of “treasure.” When production wrapped, many of the people who worked on the film (including Johnny Depp) picked props out from the treasure cave to take home. According to Verbinski, not a single one of the cursed coins was left behind.

6. Geoffrey Rush was afraid that people wouldn’t notice him on screen when he and Keira Knightley were in the same scene. He came up with a solution, however. He thought that viewers watched films the same way they read books - from left to right - and thus, tried to be on the left side of the shot as much as possible so that people would notice him before they noticed Keira. 

7. Robert De Niro was originally offered the role of Captain Jack Sparrow. However, he turned down the role because he thought that the film would do poorly in box offices. 

8. Keira Knightley was only 17 years old when they started shooting the first Pirates Of The Caribbean. Because she was a minor, her mother had to accompany her to all of the shooting locations. 

9. Johnny Depp’s character, Captain Jack, is portrayed as having gold teeth in the film. The gold teeth were actually Depp’s idea, but he predicted that executives would want fewer gold teeth than he wanted. So Depp told his dentist to implant extra gold teeth as a bargaining tool. After negotiations with the film executives, Sparrow’s final number of gold teeth in the film was what Depp had envisioned all along. 

10. If you pay attention throughout The Curse Of The Black Pearl, there is a scab on Jack Sparrow’s chin that gradually gets bigger and bigger. Many thought that it was a mistake, but Depp revealed later that his was a prank he and his makeup artist had thought of together. 

11. Clothing and smears of charcoal were used to conceal Johnny Depp’s numerous tattoos. The "Jack Sparrow” tattoo on his arm in the movie is a fake, but he actually got a real replica after finishing the film, in honor of his son Jack. 

12. Originally, Johnny Depp wanted Jack Sparrow to have no nose and be afraid of silly things like pepper and the common cold. Disney rejected the idea.

 13. Jack Sparrow is known for his outrageous face makeup, but he didn’t start with that look. While filming in a cave, excessive makeup was added to all of the characters so they wouldn’t looked washed out on film. When the crew realised how cool the makeup looked on Johnny Depp, they continued to use it on him for the rest of the movie. 

14. The moment when Elizabeth kissed Jack Sparrow in Dead Man’s Chest was purposefully cut out of Orlando Bloom’s script so that the cameras could get a genuine, shocked reaction from him. 

15. The fourth installation, On Stranger Tides, was the most expensive film ever made at the time, not adjusted for inflation. The budget ran to $300,000,000. That’s more than the budget of all three Lord Of The Rings films combined.

16. Johnny Depp based his performance on Keith Richards because he thought that pirates were just 18th century versions of rockstars. 

17. The names of the three main characters are all related to birds: Jack Sparrow, Elizabeth Swann, and William Turner, who was a famous ornithologist. 

18. The scene where Orlando Bloom impersonates Johnny Depp’s performance was devised by Bloom who asked producer Jerry Bruckheimer if he could put it into the movie. 

19. According to the screenwriters’ commentary on the DVD, Will Turner is actually the best swordsman in the film, Barbossa and Commodore Norrington are evenly matched, and Jack Sparrow is the worst. 

20. During filming of On Stranger Tides in London a 'Jack Sparrow’ impersonator just walked onto the set. The guards did not think to ask for any ID as he looked so much like the character. 

remember when the Bold Type played on all our stereotypes of female boss figures (specifically the ones portrayed in media) by introducing Jacqueline into the show as looking hella dominant walking into that meeting just after she rejected all of Jane’s ideas via email and totally set it up so we’d assume she was the “bitch boss” and then immediately blindsided everyone by instead making her a compassionate, thoughtful, hardworking, powerful, three-dimensional character who expects a lot from her employees because she believes in their abilities and they stuck by that characterization for the entirety of the season, never resorting to villifying her as a plot device #iconic

to everyone who’s ever said that we don’t exist, that we are broken, that we don’t belong. to everyone with the idea of the “perfect asexual” whose asexuality is valid only when it’s not influenced by factors in our past and present lives. 

also to everyone who’s ever told me that I don’t belong in the ace community because I’m demi. You’d think with our flag representing the ace spectrum (plus purple for community), the point would’ve been made by now.

(hand drawn using my own hand as reference so I can personally flip aforementioned people off) 

I would like to invite you all to embrace the ancestors you never knew. 

As members of the queer community, we are in a unique space in that our marginalization is not always shared with our biological family. So we are often left with a feeling of separation to our community and our history, and I want to take a moment to encourage you all to try and bridge that gap within your minds. Think of the queer people who came before us as your family, because so many of them lived their lives so that yours could exist in the way it does.

Think of Oscar Wilde standing in court admitting his love and rejecting the idea that is was shameful in front of his peers. Think of Magnus Hirschfeld collecting data and research so that he could find a path to freedom paved with facts. Think of Marsha P. Johnson, giving out cookies to other sex workers and transgender people on the street and her rage as she threw that shot glass and ignited a revolution. 

These people are your family, they are your history, and they built a world so that you could live in it. You may not be related by blood but you are related by history, their lives are irreversibly connected to ours and I encourage you all to take time to hold that in your minds as you move forward today.

Cute past!Ardyn with his black chocobo *_*
I want to know more about Ardyn’s past life before he became evil guy…

Chiron in Astrology

Chiron is another ‘infamous’ asteroid, located in between Saturn and Uranus, bridging lessons and structure with change and revolution, and also physical planets (Saturn to sun) to the spiritual and ethereal (Uranus to Pluto)

Like all planetary configurations, Chiron represents another childhood experience that structured a part of our personality.

Chiron from my own personal studies indicated the aspects of us that were rejected by the caregivers and/or other people and conditions surrounding the environment growing up.

These rejected parts of ourselves are then suppressed into the subconscious.

Chiron then shows us the darker voice within ourselves that tell us “You aren’t worthy” and “You’re not good enough at this (sign/house)” - as it became integrated into our personality during childhood.

Suppressed subconscious thinking and programming then becomes a point by where we unwillingly ‘trip ourselves up’ in these aspects of our lives.

This subconscious wound formed due to childhood conditioning (intentional or unintentional) that created patterns in the behaviour that can lead to reoccurring experiences of pain and trauma, that remains 'unhealed’ due to the emotional imprint left behind and the inability to integrate these traumatised aspects of ourselves.

Through our own unhealed wound, the understanding of our own pain can allow us provide healing to others in the area in which we believe we lack.

However, this greatly varies on the level of maturity and consciousness of the individual. Much shadow work on the self and integrating the traumatised aspects of ones own personality is needed before one can even attempt to heal another.

Chiron is almost like our own talent or gift where we have an incredible ability to empower others to heal themselves.

The house area indicates what area of life the wound formed, and the sign dictates how we received this wound, and how we can heal others in this area of life and also the ways in which we can learn to accept and integrate as part of our damaged ‘self’.

We may also often put ourselves down in this area of life, feeling a consistent internal dislike of oneself. However, we may be incredibly talented here also. Others may recognise these talents even though we may continue to reject them.

The 'key’ to Chiron is to recognise these rejected, hurt and wounded parts of ourselves, and use these talents to help heal others, in turn improving our confidence in these life areas ourselves.

This post was specifically written for the house placement of Chiron since itits orbit often fluxes between generations. The signs in essence act differently from the way planets act within areas, so take this into account when reading descriptions to combine your Chiron placement.

Chiron in 1st House (Aries)

Chiron in the 1st house can indicate an individual who’s wound stems from a lack of understanding who they are as an individual. They may feel like they don’t fit in within society. They may feel like their sense of style or their appearance isn’t appealing to others, and they may have a wound surrounding self-confidence issue in regards to their facial or body appearance. This can be a quite self-hating placement in regards to the physical self in particular.

They may also feel like they have no life direction, while everyone around them seems to know where they are going in life and what they are doing, while the Chiron 1st person seems to drift from one place in life to another but not really getting anywhere. This can make them feel quite frustrated and their worth and knowing who they are and where they want to go in life seems to be an endless void, either feeling like their options are limited or theres so much choice its hard to choose any direction.

There may also be some issues around the expression of anger and being assertive. They may desperately want something but can never muster up the passion and drive in order to go get it, then end up loathing themselves for giving up (often because they don’t feel like they are worthy of even trying because there’s a preconceived idea that they won’t get what they desire anyway).

On the flip side, you may feel like you want to achieve your goals as soon as you can, attempting to spin your way through life though only end up becoming frustrated due to your attempt to push against divine timing - if something is meant to happen, it will, there’s no need to feel like you’re running out of time to get things done.

This may have stemmed from not being able to get what they want, when they wanted it in childhood.

They may have also grown up in an environment where any attempts to express anger or aggression was scolded, therefore was repressed into themselves, becoming a subconscious shadow aspect. Now when pushed too far into a situation, they may snap and become quite aggressive and angry, then feel guilty after coming to their senses (particularly in the sign of Aries). They may have witnessed an aggressive or highly defensive parent, and when they confronted this particular parent, they may have had their act of assertion dominated by them, therefore making them feel incapable of standing their ground.

You heal others is by elevating them and encouraging them to head in their life direction. You remind them of who they are and help strengthen their sense of self and identity. You encourage others around you to be assertive and not to let anyone get in their way.

Because Chiron is in your 1st, its there fore everyone to see. People see your battle wounds, and if Chiron is close or conjunct the AC, you then embody and personify the characteristics of the wounded healer. If well aspected, people may recognise you as the ‘wounded healer’, admiring your strength and ability to guide others to better themselves.

There can also be situations where no matter how much others praise and acknowledge your appearance, you may constantly be unhappy with yourself due to the significantly ingrained pattern of only seeing your flaws above your beauty.

You need to learn where you want to go in life by experimenting with different path ways (your astrological chart is obviously a wonderful tool to help!). You incarnated for a reason, and though it may take time and much trial and error, you will find the right direction for you. Don’t be scared to put yourself out there and know that you have an incredible capacity of power and strength within you.


Chiron in 2nd House (Taurus)

Chiron in the 2nd house can indicate an individual who’s wound stems from a lack of self-worth and self value. They may feel like who they are as a person and even their physicality isn’t ‘good enough’. They can’t seem to find worth in themselves and this may make it even difficult to have a strong and healthy value system, where they tend to disregard things that other may deem as being important (check sign as an indicator of what this could be). This may have been due to a parental figure placing more value and worth on something other than the native, often money or other material possessions.

There can also be issues around money and possessions with this placement in general, growing up in a home where they were just scraping by. They may on the other hand, had a parental figure have a hoarding issue, or being rather selfish in what they owned. The native may have be rejected in regards to sharing and there may have been a sense they had to ‘earn’ something before they could receive it, thus their love and care was conditional. Regardless if this person had little to all the money and possessions in the world, they may continue to feel an insisting void of lack within themselves that can’t seemed to be filled by outer  possessions - real value and worth comes from self acceptance and appreciation, not possessions and material resources.

The lack of self worth and self value can be another indicator for perpetual eating disorders, especially if affected from planets such as Saturn/Mars/Pluto - especially if coming from the 6th House. This can cause one to overeat in attempts to feel the void of being unvalued, or under-eat in order to reflect their internal sense of self worth which may be very little. This, as well as a need to have ones own possessions ONLY to themselves, may be derived from a sense of a lack of security in childhood, thus may find security by what they eat and what they have to themselves.  

With this placement, you understand the pain of having low self-worth and self-value. You learn to understand that material possession can never fill the void of emptiness you feel within yourself. Through the mastery of understanding the need for self love and value, you demonstrate to others to heal themselves by showing them their self worth, though you may attempt doing this by deeming yourself less worthy of them. You can teach people that to be loved by another, they must first love themselves. You can show people how to stand on their own two feet when it comes to accumulating what they want and need to appease themselves, and demonstrate that money can’t buy you happiness.

You need to learn that you are worthy of love from others, and you can begin by learning to love yourself and who you are. You are a soul experiencing a physical form, and you must remember you inherit value extends beyond what you can see in the here an now.


Chiron 3rd House (Gemini)

Chiron in the 3rd house can indicate an individual who’s wound stems from issues around learning, schooling, communication and possibly siblings. During the childhood development, you may have experienced an environment where your thoughts and ideas were rejected or suppressed. If you attempted to proclaim your opinion on something, a parental figure may have rejected it or at the worst, made a mockery of your perception on things. This may have mad you fearful about expressing your ideas and opinions in fear of being judged and/or ridiculed by a parental figure. You may have also then avoided even speaking to that particular parental figure who you often felt intellectually inferior to. Perhaps the parent or caregiver may not have even met to be so critical of your thoughts and ideas, nevertheless the sensitivity of a child’s persona took their correction quite personally, leaving a scar on their ability to form their own analysis on things.

Individuals with this placement may have also had learning difficulties in their school life, having great difficulty in certain subjects such as maths and English for example, or any class that required an intellectual understanding and processing. Therefore, you may have had difficulty concentrating in your schooling environment or preferring to work in creative, more practical classes such as art, music, dance, theatre, and so on. This placement may also manifest things such as speech impediments, difficulty in pronouncing certain words, learning difficulties, and sometimes lisps.

If your placement is particularly subsiding in the 3rd house, you may have ex-refined childhood wounding around rejection or feeling dissociated in your immediate environment/neighbourhood. You may have felt like you as an individual (or possibly your whole family), felt rejected in your society amongst your peers. They may have pointed out something about you that was particularly unusual and/or different, and you may have felt unsafe or uncomfortable in your neighbourhood because of that.

The 3rd house in particular often relating to siblings may indicate strong sibling rivalry and/or feeling ‘below’ another sibling. Your parents may have in fact (or seemed to) give far more attention, love and praise to another one of your siblings, making you feel somewhat inferior to them. There’s also the possibility however, if your Chiron is well aspected in your 3rd house, you may have found comfort and healing from your sibling.

With this placement, you understand what it’s like to not feel heard, to not have your ideas and opinions acknowledged and what its like to have difficulty comprehending something. Chiron brings healing ability through speech and communication. You may in time, once you’ve come to acknowledge your Chiron wound, find yourself with a strong capability to bring healing to others through your words. This may be informal communication methods such a using social media as a platforms to express your ideas and opinions, and while you may put yourself down in your intellectual capabilities, Chiron gives you the capacity to become quite intelligent once you apply yourself to what you are passionate about learning and/or expressing. You can deliver a powerful and healing message to others that can bring them great healing on their own ability to verbally state their thoughts, ideas and options without fear.

You need to learn that you are intelligent and an effective communicator. It’s ok to not have opinions accepted by others, after all, we a all individual manifestations of source, and to learn who we are, we need someone to reject and reflect our ideas, thoughts and options back at us so we can know who WE are. Your thoughts and ideas are valid, and there will always be like minded people to converse with. Let go of the fear of judgement of what others may think of what you say, for what you say may be just the right thing another needs to hear.


Chiron 4th House (Cancer)

Chiron in the 4th house can indicate an individual who’s wound is derived from a feeling of a rejection or emotional discord in the home environment, an unstable home and/or family environment, feeling like an outsider from the family and/or not having secure foundations growing up.

As a child, you may have had parental figures that felt (or was) absent. This can be emotional and physical absence. You may not have received the love, care and nurture needed from the parental figure(s) growing up which left a persistent internal wound of not being able to feel like one can belong anywhere or with anyone. This may lead to behavioural patterns such as being overly attached and clinging onto those who seem to have the capacity to provide you the security and comfort you crave, or being completely ‘under’ attached, not allowing people to get too closely emotionally involved with you.

Essentially this stems from the same or similar root cause of witnessing your parents instability with one another. This instability then formed a subconscious self protection mechanism whereby you either seek comfort and security from others, making it very difficult for you to let go - even when its not a healthy situation. You may tell yourself “This person is providing me a house/place to stay/love and emotional connection/a sense of security - though all the while may be treating you very poorly in all other areas. Your desire for security is so high that you can lower your standards greatly simply to feel some sort of security.

On the flip side, if you witnessed your parents being quite unstable in their own interactions with one another or towards yourself, you may refrain from allowing anyone too close to you due to the lack of trust you’ve accumulated for others. You would rather recluse inside your own safe shell where no one can see or feel your emotional scarring.

With this placement, there may be a particular issue revolving around the mother figure.

In relation to the home environment, you may not have had a secure home growing up, moving from one place to the next, or couch surfing at friends or other family members homes. In other extremes, you may not have even felt comfortable or ‘at home’ in your birth country, feeling out of place or that your weren’t comfortable about your own culture.

Your Chiron wound gives you the ability to provide a safe and secure environment for other people. You instinctively know how to care and nurture others, and may also have a high intuitive ability that allows you you to quickly pick up on the emotional wounds of others. You can provide care and protection for others, though may find it quite difficult to allow yourself to receive these things from others. You may set the bar quite high when it comes to trusting others and allowing them into your personal space, though often at times your empathy and resonance with the emotional wounds of others may prompt you to take the unitive to ‘bandage’ and care for their wound while putting your own aside.

You need to learn that you are are worthy of being cared for and nurtured by others. You do not need to assume the responsibility as the caretaker of others if its not also in your highest good. You need to learn when it is and when it is not ok to allow people into your personal space. You have an underlying acute emotional sensitivity and thus you need to be aware of who you allow in your life and personal space. You may assume the most toxic people require the most care, but you may at times disregard how this will affect you. Learn where your boundaries are most comfortable for you and don’t be afraid to allow people to care for you. You are worthy to feel apart of a family environment and a safe and secure home.


Chiron 5th House (Leo)

Chiron in the 5th house can indicate an individual who’s wound stems from issues around a sense of rejection of self expression and creativity, or possibly a sense of a lack of fun and play growing up.

As a child, one (or perhaps even both) of your parental figures and caregivers rejected or suppressed your urge for self creative expression. You may have felt like anything you took particular enjoyment in as a hobby, games, and ways of expressing who you are wasn’t acknowledged or praised by your caregiver(s). An example could possibly be someone who enjoyed expressing themselves through the art of tattoos, piercing and dying their hair unusual colours. The parental figure(s) may have scolded this and made you feel as though you weren’t allowed to express yourself in a creative way of your choice. Another possible example could be through sports, where your caregivers didn’t allow you to play due to their desires and wished being imposed on you. Any activity in which you had the option to choose to express yourself was rejected or suppressed is ultimately a part of this Chiron wound.

This may now manifest as a fear to attempt to express yourself in any creative way you desire. You may fear the same rejection of your own unique creative expression, and will only attempt to if you know that an audience will receive it well. You may think to yourself “I want to create this and share it with the world…but what if no one likes it?…what if people get angry at me for what I’ve created?…What if people laugh or make fun of something I create or do?” - Shame and fear of rejection then takes over, therefore limiting yourself from creating what your truly desire, while also taking away the possible opportunity for your own unique and creative expression to be praised and applauded by those who in fact enjoy what you can create, do and express.

Chiron in the 5th has also been linked to difficulties baring children. This is not due to the placement of Chiron in this house itself, but instead due to deeper psychological wounds experienced in childhood. There is a direct relation to how the subconscious mind affects the body, and if a female in particular experienced a childhood where she did not feel safe, cared for or nurtured, her subconscious mind may affirm to her body that “It is not safe to bare children for I had experienced rejection growing up, therefore I refuse to subject another to this environment”. If the woman is able to affirm to herself that her child wound in fact experience a safe and loving environment, her subconscious may then allow her to open  to conceiving a child. Transits from benific planets such as Jupiter however, will greatly enhance the individuals luck for conceiving a child, regardless of the Chiron wound (as seen through my own studies).

You may have had your parent(s) impose their idea of fun and enjoyment onto you, in which you had to abide to. For example, an individual with a parent who was highly enthusiastic about sports may have signed them up to participate in many after school sports activities, when the child hated sports but loved acting. The parent(s) may have believed they were nurturing the child giving them the experience they never had (or had too much of) and attempt to live that through the child. The child then had to participate in the parents fun and games and suppress their own desire for fun and enjoyment.

With this wound, you have great ability to encourage others to open up to their true authentic self. You know how to motivate people and give them the own sense of special, individual power and sense of desire to be who they are, regardless of what anyone else things. You’re quite happy to put others up onto a pedestal and encourage them on from the sidelines in whatever they want to do. You have great ability to be the role model for authentic expression if you can overcome the fear of those who may reject you for who and how you want to express yourself.

You need to learn that no ones opinion of you matters, and that you are free to express yourself however you so desire. Get that tattoo, play your favourite sport, make a confronting artwork - authenticity is absolutely liberating, and you must remember that EVERYONE is unique and there will always be someone who’s not going to like you for who you are or what you do. Remember that we are a soul having a human experience, and we are all part of an energetic whole - we NEED contrast to know who we are. And remember that those who attempt to put you down for how you express yourself are simply scared of being confronted by a sense of confidence and power they don’t posses. Insecurity leads to others dragging you down to their level because they are too afraid to rise up to be as empowered as you. Learn not to fear who you are and express yourself to the upmost 100% - you have the power to do so.


Chiron in the 6th House (Virgo)

Chiron in the 6th house can indicate an individual who’s wound may have been accumulated from an illness experienced in childhood (by you or perhaps another family member whereby you had to care for them), having too many responsibilities placed onto you too early in life, absent parental figures due to work, and difficulty in the working environment in general.

Growing up you may not have got to experience much of a childhood filled with fun and play due to responsibilities being assumed onto you at a very early age. This may be due to having to care for a sickly parent (as mentioned above), working with the parent or in a another job to support the home life and family, and/or taking care of the home and family life instead due to the parent(s) often being at work. This may manifest in your current life is a fear of letting things get out of your own established routine and order. You may greatly dislike assuming responsibility onto others because you’ve grown up to feel like “I can take care of myself/I’m the only one who knows how to do this/no one else does it correctly as I do/I need to take the responsibility for caring for others because I know how to do it the best ect”. This can stem from a fear of what almost resonates as a lack of control of your day-to-day life. If you experienced a home/living environment where everything was out of place OR that everything had a perfect place, you now have a need to make a set routine that feels safe to you. You may not like to breech you day-to-day life for any means necessary because of a deep rooted need for wanting everything to have a certain place and time so you find safety in the predictability of things.

In relation to the aspect of health, you may have often become sick as a child or may have manifested a  lifestyle disease. To compensate, you may attempt to follow set diet plan such as paleo or veganisim and/or consume copious amounts of vitamin pills - all the while perhaps avoiding exercise. You may overcompensate in one area to make an excuse for another area of health you tend to neglect. On the flip side, you can be so obsessive about taking care of other people that your own health often ‘falls on the way side’ due to self neglect. This placement can show a person who provides tremendous care and service to others, but may often be to their own detriment.

With this placement, you can be a fantastic healer to others, especially in regards to applying physical healing (massage) or simply through your service to others. You can be a fantastic help to people in all practical manners, however don’t go overboard to the point where in helping others you’re neglecting yourself.

You need to learn that you are worthy of good health and you don’t have to be over critical of yourself. Remember the universe made you perfect exactly as you are and there’s no need to aim to achieve the ‘perfect’ standards of other people - they are not you and you are not them - the universe made you unique as you are and you are perfect and complete just as yourself. Use your ability for proficiency to help others achieve their goals and bring healing through your amazing selfless service.


Chiron in the 7th House (libra)

Chiron in the 7th house can indicate an individual who’s wound may stem from observing a disharmonious relationship between your parental figures growing ip, thus hindering your perspective of how relationships function, what you search for in a relationship and questioning your worthiness of being in a relationship with someone.

With this placement, if you experienced witnessing your parents having difficulty in a relationship - such as conflict, arguments and unfairness - your perception of relationships and marriage in general may be wounded. Because of this, you may not believe that marriages or long term relationships are made to last, simply because of a subconscious fear of repeating the same or similar disharmonious unbalance between your caregivers growing up. You may have convinced yourself that you have an inability to somewhat distrust the relationship partner in a projected fear that a conflict or turn of events will occur that will disrupt your relationship. Due to this subconscious belief, you may act out as the the projected fear has already manifested - meaning that your believe that the relationship will end so you act as though it already has, becoming cold and distant from the partner as if mourning the ended relationship, even though everything was panning out just fine! By doing this, your partner then may sense you becoming cold and distant, thus ending the relationship due to feeling neglected - this then ‘confirms’ your feelings, even though it was your subconscious actions that manifested this to occur in the first place! If you have a tendency to do this, aim to become conscious of this and take an objective look at the relationship. Question everything you can physically SEE in the now. Don’t project your thoughts and fears into the future by pulling up wounds of the past. You are not your parents, and you have the capacity to change the nature of how your relationships pan out for you are always in control of your reality.

Another manifestation of this placement is that you may attract relationship partners with a strong Chiron placement, carrying a wound that is in need of healing. If your Chiron is well aspected, you may have great potential to heal the wound of your relationship partner by being their supportive shoulder whenever they need you. Be aware of any tendencies to be attracted to heavily emotionally wounded people - especially if your Chiron placement is afflicted. While you may have the capacity to heal people in relationships, it may not be in your highest good to tend to heavily distraught people. Always act in your highest good, and sometimes this may involve leaving a toxic relationship that doesn’t serve you. You do not owe anything to anyone, and you have the freewill to leave a painful relationship and free yourself from disharmony and unfairness.

With Chiron in the 7th, their may also be a subconscious fear of being loved and accepted by others. You may do, say and act in certain ways to ensure that people will love and accept you, for your fear of being alone may often at times overpower your rational thinking and actions. Sometimes you may do and say things you don’t really mean in fear of being rejected by another person. This doesn’t even have to be over something critical, it may be as simple as saying”no” to a friends request of you. For example, a friend may approach you and ask “Hey, could you do x, y and z for me?” - you may be busy with your own chores and projects, though you accept your friends requests for the fear of saying “no” to them may lead to them rejecting you - though this is hardly ever the case at all! If you expend your energy on excess things for others that you simply can’t handle at the time, this may lead you to feeling overwhelmed, used and somewhat resentful of the other - even though you offered to do it in the first place! Take consideration of whether or not YOU want to do something for someone, never act on the basis of thinking your “should” do something for someone else. The universe has given us all the power of freewill, and you should never feel subservient to another in a need for approval for connection. If you a are strong and confident in yourself, then people will automatically drawn to you as a whole person - not a half person, after all, we teach people how to treat us.

You have great capacity to heal other through one-on-one interactions with them, offering support and advise, and simply by being a supportive shoulder for another. You know how to make others feel loved and accepted, and you must know you are worthy of these things also. You must learn you do not have to give into others, and you are as worthy of being supported and cared for as you are. Find balance in your relationships with others - don’t give too little or too much, find a happy medium whereby you and your partner are giving the relationship the same level love, care, attention and affection it needs. If you feel unbalanced in your relationship, you have every right to move on. You are worthy of a healthy, loving relationship.


Chiron 8th House (Scorpio)

Chiron in the 8th house can indicate an individual who’s wound may stem from deep interrelations with others, deep psychological trauma that the individual hides away from others, issues around death and wounding around sex and perhaps sexuality in general.

Chiron in the 8th house, especially of difficulty aspected by other planets can be one of the harshest placement for chiron, but can also manifest and incredibly powerful and transformative healer.

During childhood, you may have experienced a traumatic event around death in general. This may have been loosing a family member or friend early in life, and you were taught very early on what death was and the nature of it. It may have even been experienced by losing a family pet. Regardless of how you experienced the nature of death, you may have quickly understood it and thus either quickly overcoming your fear of death or depending on how your Chiron is aspected, this placement may have manifested deeper psychological fears around it. Chrion in the 8th/scorpio can produce a powerful shamanic healer when positively utilised in associating with others. You can greatly help people dive to the darkest hidden places of their subconscious minds, grasping their deep rooted fears before resurfacing and displaying the wound to the individual to be understood, accepted and healed. If you harness the power of your own psychological fears and shadow self, and incorporate it into yourself, completing fragmented aspected of your personality, you will radiate a strong sense of sharmanic transformative power and have great capacity to heal others and complete themselves.

At times, you may often struggle with your own fears and past psychological traumas/wounds, thus manifesting a strong sense of clairsentience and empathy towards others. You know pain - but that pain can be your greatest power and tremendously beneficial to others if you so choose to utilise it.

You may also have fears of being abandoned by others, which may manifest subconscious behaviours in which you can act quite obsessive and possessive over the people you love and care about. If you find yourself acting in this way, I personally encourage you to engage in shadow work and uprooting the core event that you may have experienced as a child. (You may wish to listen to Theta or third eye frequency meditation music to help). Once you are deep in meditation, ask yourself “When was the first time I ever felt abandoned?”. Let any images, sounds, thoughts or feelings come to you. They may arise as memory or an abstraction. Don’t dismiss whatever comes to you, allow it to flow and observe. Allow yourself to acknowledge any past hurst of feeling abandoned and recognise that you do not have to repeat these patterns in your present moment. Do not project your past traumas into your present or future. Take a good look around you and acknowledge what you can SEE/FEEL/TOUCH in the present moment. If you cling too hard to another, they will eventually want to break free - thus manifesting your own sense of abandonment into your reality.

Chiron in the 8th/Scorpio can also react to deep wounds surrounded sex and sexuality *For the sake of this public post, if you have this placement and wish to discus Chiron and sexual woundings, feel free to DM me to discuss in privacy*

Chiron in the 8th has tremendous healing power and you need to learn that although past trauma may have been overwhelming to you in someway on your psychological health, you can heal yourself though channelling your power into the healing of others. You can dive greatly into the depths of the subconscious mind and even beyond the view of the 4th dimension, though take care as to not dive so deep when you don’t have to. Sometimes its much healthier to lay down your ability for diving deep to experience the reality of the now - especially at times when fears of the past or future come crawling into the forefront of your mind. Know that you have the power to create your reality and that past hurts can not hurt you anymore and that the future doesn’t have to manifest that same trauma as experienced in the past. You have tremendous power to heal, use it to the best of your ability.


Chiron in the 9th House (Sagittarius)

Chiron in the 9th house can indicate an individual who’s wound may be derived from growing up in an environment where religious ideals and/or certain beliefs about life, spirituality and the world in general may have been imposed on you during childhood, skewing your world perception, ability to have faith and optimism and feeling closed in on what’s truly possible in the world.

You may have had certain ideals and spiritual beliefs imposed on you as a child, and depending whether you resonated with these beliefs or not determined how you perceived the possibilities in life. If beliefs such as “The world is a scary place” or “If you do x, y, z, a higher power will punish you”, you may have felt fearful as a child about the world outside of your own beliefs. You may have felt like you should act accordingly to what you’ve been taught, or on the flip side in rejection of those imposed beliefs, you may have felt incredibly alone on your own spiritual journey.

You may have felt a sense of abandonment or disconnect with the universe, often feeling like it’s energies never seemed to work in your favour. You may feel like your current life needs to have a higher meaning external and more grand than what it already is.

You may also have a great desire to manifest, learn or experience something, though you may have difficulty manifesting that thing into your reality due to the extremity of the nature of what you desire to achieve (example, attempting levitation but not being able to achieve it). These extreme ideas, concepts and beliefs that seem out of your reach can make you second guess yourself, especially when you can’t achieve them in your reality. You can question your own beliefs and may at times feel like what you truly believe in is nonsense and you’re fooling yourself - this may not be the case, though you’re ability to have faith, optimism and recognise true spiritual experiences may be blocked by your projection of a certain, even grand expectation of what you believed in. To truly witness profound spiritual experiences, you need to let go of any expectations of what you’ve asked for.

For example, you may use the Law of Attraction to manifest something into your life (e.g, a certain mobile phone you desire) and may not experience it in your current reality then feel disappointed - the reality may simply be the fact that you don’t BELIVE you’ll manifest the phone you want (which is a crucial step in the Law of Attraction), and feeling crushed by your belief, abandon it and perhaps even ridiculing yourself for it.

You need to recognise when you’re beliefs about yourself and the world around you are either helping you or hindering you. If you believe that the world is a difficult place to live in, then it will be so, for you’ll only perceive the negative experiences in life over the positive. If you believe the world can be improved, you may have the ability to change the way the world works from your perspective. Chiron in the 9th’s gift is that of being the ‘wounded’ teacher. Its the placement of the wise Sage who understands how to mend the self using ones own belief system to do so, while also incorporating spiritual teachings and practices to benefit others. You can be a guiding figure on the path of enlightenment to others due to your knowledge of what it means to have faith in something higher that connects us all.

Always remember that you can look at the glass half empty, half full - and also 100% full - half of the glass may be water, though the other half is filled with air. Have faith that there is something beyond what the eyes can see that connects us to everything in the universe.


Chiron 10th House (Capricorn)

Chiron in the 10th house can indicate an individual who’s wound may stem from issues, events and relations towards the father figure, goals and aspirations your wish to achieve in life and your public image.

Chiron in the 10th house (as well as other aspects included) may indicate that you may have experienced difficult relations around your father figure in general. You may have perceived your father not to be the ideal role model you wished to follow in life (reasons may stem around the sign/house Chiron in placed in and also aspects to Chiron). Your relationship with your father may have even been quite healthy (depending on aspects), however there may have been an underlying sense that “I like you, but I don’t want to be like you”. Depending on how harshly Chiron is aspected in the 10th house, the father figure may have even been absent in the nursing environment growing up - however - if Chiron is positively aspected, you may have even seen your father figure as THE wounded healer in one way or another.

Another possible manifestation was that you felt dominated or subjected to working under another - either the father figure or other authorities in general. Other people may have seemed to pave your path for you, giving you very little freedom to follow your own life vocation. Perhaps even if you did feel like you had the choice to find a fulfilling career, you may not even know exactly what you want to do. This can make you feel quite aimless in life, and then refer to simply handing your personal power back over to others to make the career/work choice for you. You may have difficulty establishing what you want to do and where you want to go in life, and may continuously stop and start your goals but never seem to experience any true progression. You may begin many pathways until finding something you truly wish to follow.

You may have also ended up becoming the springboard for other peoples success, and they may not even given you any recognition for doing so.

If you felt like your parental figures were limited or expansive in their own ambitions and goals, you may place an emphasis on them yourself, to the point where you can possibly overwork yourself and become too tired to complete your goals. You may desire to gain some form of authority and/or control in your life, and in attempts to feel fulfilled and recognised for your success, you may burden yourself with problems and issues outside of your abilities or expertise. You may attempt to ‘help’ a friend by taking control over their own projects, though in doing this you limit the other and burden yourself with he responsibilities of another that wasn’t ever yours in the first place.

You have tremendous capacity to help others achieve their goals and aspirations in life, and due to the shamanic nature of Chiron, you may even find a career and/or life vocation surrounding themes of helping other people find their own life purpose and career. If you possess the 10th house placement, look to the sign your Chiron is in to establish how you may be a guide for others (this could be from a career councillor, public speaker to a tarot reader - they are all forms of inspiration, leadership and guidance!).

You have tremendous capacity for building structures and foundations to help life others up towards thiner desired goals, and you also know how to hold things together for other people in a crisis situation.

You need to learnt that in helping others, you don’t need to take the control for them, you simply need to guide. Do not burden yourself with a responsibilities of others as they can become far too overbearing in the long haul for you. You may even need to ask yourself WHY you want to take responsibility and feel such drive to achieve great things - because you don’t need to prove anything to anyone other than to yourself. You are your own leader and your own sense of value and sense of self respect will allow you to bring healing to yourself and to others.


Chiron in the 11th House (Aquarius)

Chiron in the 11th house can indicate an individual who’s wound may be derived from feeling rejected in  society and friendship groups, feeling as if you don’t fit in anywhere because of your own unique eccentricities or even feeling your interests, ways of self expression and things you enjoy seem to always lead to being labeled by others.

Chiron in the 11th can show that things you may be talented at or what truly makes you unique and special is often flipped onto its head when expressed as part of a group. For example, if your an actor, you may simply seen as ‘the actor in the show’ rather than ‘the actor that played ___’. You feel as though your talents and what makes you unique and inventive is often glazed over, and others may even criticise you for supposedly being unoriginal or copying the ideas and expressions of someone else - and you may not have even heard of those people! You may then feel reluctant to attempt to express your unique, individual and creative ideas and fear that you’ll be rejected for them for either being ‘too out there’ or ‘the same as everyone else’. You can feel quite alienated by society for your unique understand and interpretation of things. While there may be others out there that believe that what you express is an act of pure genius, you may not even attempt to, simply due to the fear of ridicule.

Because of the unique way you do things, you may be seen as a rebel by others for not following the system as everyone else does - even though the way you do things may be 10x better than how others do it - they may attempt to convert you into doing things the ‘right way’, simply because the feel threatened by the thought of someone rebelling/challenging the norm or bringing something new to the table that conflicts with tradition.

If this is the case for you, DO NOT let others opinions and attempts to convert you to sway you and your ideas. If it works for you, then continue to follow and express your own unique way of doing things. When people feel threatened by the genius of others, mockery may seem to follow due to the others persons inability to rise to your level .The only option is to drag you down to theirs. Don’t lose sleep over the opinion of sheep! There will always be someone out in the wide world who will recognise your genius if you let go of the fear of ridicule and express yourself EXACTLY how you so choose. If they label you as unoriginal, you know in yourself that you hold an inventive spark others could only dream of possessing - own it, flaunt it, live it!

You have great ability to encourage and inspire others to express their own eccentricities, unique ideas and make them feel part of a larger community. You have great capacity to bring people together as a collaborative and welcoming community by showing them that its ok for them to be themselves. You can become and anchor point where others flock to you for inspiration and to see the unique way you do things and express yourself. You’re allowed to be 100% yourself no matter what others think, and there will always be someone out there who will appreciate you just for that.


Chiron in the 12th House (Pisces)

Chiron in the 12th house can indicate an individual who’s wound may stem from a sense of being alone and secluded from the world, feeling victimised or martyred, or perhaps not even being conscious of even having an emotional wound.

Particularly if Chiron is placed in the 12th house, you may not even be aware of any childhood wounds that were implemented in the nurturing environment. This is due to the 12th house nature of blurring the boundaries and borders of reality, thus can even involve a suppressed emotional wound that was mistaken for something such as a dream or a reoccurring nightmare (depending on the aspects of Chiron, this will dictate the extent of the emotional wound).

The wound here is often related to things such as emotional abandonment, thus feeling a need to completely ‘merge’ with another through being quite close to and dreamy about another, such as a ‘potential’ lover.  You may do, say and act in ways that are unauthentic to yourself in attempts to connect with those around you - simply because your subconscious mind is directing you in fear of that sense of being alone.

If you experienced something particularly traumatic in childhood (the entire natal chart will need to be taken in to account), you may feel victimised by life and that the world around you isn’t a safe place to be. This could result in thing such a often secluding yourself away from the world by any means necessary (e.g., hiding in bathroom stalls during lunch breaks), not going out with friends much, and rarely, if ever, letting people into your personal space (such as your bedroom in particular). Even though the desire to be alone may be quite strong, the sense of loneliness you experiences can make you feel addicted to another person at time when you do feel safe and secure, thus creating the urge to completely merge with them. You’re boundaries for the unwell may be quite weak due to your hyper sensitivity and sense of tremendous empathy, whereby you feel as though its justifiable to allow these toxic people to enter you life - only for them to cause havoc and leave again. You may then fall into he pattern of self-victimisation of having let that person into your life. You may blame yourself, or at the worst, blame the other person.

You may also felt wounded by your connection with the Divine, especially during times when you were in any kind of emotional, physical or mental pain. You may have deeply desired to connect with source, though you may have felt the lack of responsiveness when you desired divine guidance more than anything was ignored, you may have questioned yourself - “If there is a God, then why did x, y, z happen to me!?”.

Its part of the souls journey and progress to face hardships and pain in order to progress and evolve, some more than others. The incredible power that these people can manifest if they choose (yes, choose) to overcome their hardships is the most earthly representation of true divine power.

If you have experienced much pain in your life, this placement is a prime indicator that you are capable of being a tremendous psychic healer if you so choose to channel your abilities into a healthy outlet. You may discern who you allow into your life for your own highest good. Your intuition for healing is incredibly high, and you may even by the type of person who’s hands (palm chakras) become hot/itchy when around people who are in need of healing. If you so choose, you could also learn and perform spiritual healing methods, such as energy healing (Theta and Reiki) as a way to channel your desire to heal others in a healthy way. This is one of the most influential and powerful places for a reiki master due to their ability to connect with universal energies and channel it into Chiron’s ability to heal any wound.

You need to learn that you have the power to heal yourself through healing others if you so choose, and it’s also ok to say “no”to people and allow others to help them, especially when your own health and wellbeing is threatened. You need to know that you don’t need to soul search for another to make to feel whole, complete and connected to divine energy, you are worthy as who you are and you don’t need to change to appease others. You don’t need to escape from the world around you out of fear of the unknown, there will always be people around you who can help you when you feel scared or alone, you simply have to take the small step to reach out for assistance. There will be someone for you who will be sensitive to your needs and wounds, and you’ll know when its safe to completely open as yourself. Always remember that we are all connected and so you’re never alone in how you think or feel, so don’t be afraid to show it.

* For a full natal chart reading, check this link and follow the description: https://ellie-mae-astrology.tumblr.com/post/165058957657/astrological-consultations

  • Inbox me any personal questions or enquires!

©ellie-mae-astrology on Tumblr

Neptune - place of your hidden potential


Neptune is a planet of illusion and confusion. It is very mysterious place in our chart. It brings people a lot of disappointment due to Neptune’s very enigmatic nature. I believe the house our Neptune is placed holds a great potential that is hidden there and takes time to fully understand. What makes you confused and vulnerable with a little bit of work can also be a source of your great strength. 

The House Neptune is shows when you are the most vulnerable. This is a place of confusion, place that you have always a problem to tell the reality from illusion. The way to master your Neptune placement is to recognize your weakness and allow yourself to be vulnerable in this area. Be aware of what brings you confusion. Awarness is your greatest weapon. This is what Neptune truly wants to tell you. Be aware.


1st House - be aware that your weakness lays in your perception of the world and yourself. You may feel lost in life, confused about how you see the world. You may not see it for what it is and people may see you not who you really are. Don’t idolize this world. Don’t idolize your views. Don’t let your artistic nature cloud your judgment. Also, don’t be afraid to be emotional. Don’t be afraid to show your sensitivity. Use amazing psychic gifts you have. Finding confidence in life may be hard for you since your perception of self is delluded but it doesn’t mean it’s impossible. You just have many sides to yourself and you can’t be defined with one word and that’s okay. Be a chameleon; don’t limit yourself to one. Also, your natural optimism can make you a little bit naive so you need to watch out for people because some of them will have no problem using your good heart against you so take care of yourself and trust your intuition more.

2nd House - be aware that your weakness lays in your self-worth. It is what brings you the biggest confusion. You may feel vague about your self-worth. You may feel confused about material things. You need to understand potential that lays in your soul and the practical use of your imagination. You also need to understand that material things are not the biggest evil on the world. They are also not your biggest need. It will always bring you confusion. Find balance!  Be aware of your money (abundance or their lack) in your life. Use them constructively on what you really need. If you can, make your art to give you profit.

3rd House - be aware that your weakness lays in the processing of your words. It can often feel like the words you are looking for in your mind are hidden behind a mist, like they are there but you can’t find them and use them. You can also feel at the moments that you are a better story-teller than everyone else in the room and desperately try to prove it. Don’t idolize the power of your mind but also don’t ignore it. Be aware that you can get an access to a beautiful inner encyclopedia but still you need to make an effort to check yourself while using it. Be aware of the voices you will hear, ideas you will get and be open to messages from your head but be selective of how you will use them. You can take people to other dimensions with your you words, you are highly creative but you must be aware that you need to check things twice before saying them because sometimes your words can be really confusing. Focus on making yourself more clear while speaking, avoid using unecessary words. 

4th House - be aware that your weakness lays in your roots. Family always can bring you a lot of confusion. Many times you don’t see your family for who they really are, you probably idolize them a lot just like your chilhood. You may feel truly lost at your core, not knowing who you are and being too dependent on your roots. Truth is, that yes,  you can become emotionally independent person who is also able to help others to see through their own delusions. You just need to make yourself your strong foundation and set clear boundaries with your family. Your imagination make them seem better that they really are. You need to remember that your home and people who make it are part of your life not the center. Family life will never be as perfect as you wish but it doesn’t mean it’s not going to be good. Appreciate what you can have.

5th House - be aware that your weakness lays in your vision.  You idolize everything. Romance, people, children, hobbies… Everywhere where you can express yourself and follow your vision of “something perfect”.  You just try to run from reality this way. Just be aware perfect love  or a child doesn’t exist. Express yourself artistically, yes, but don’t let your imagination cloud your judgment. Life here is not a Hollywood movie but it doesn’t mean it’s not beautiful. Use your imagination in your creations but don’t let it control your love life (and other aspects). You are extremely creative. Use it wisely.

6th House -  be aware that your weakness lays in working. You love to help others. Animals, people… Your service is needed but is also a place of your delusion. You may get lost in your job. You need to take responsibility and do your work in whatever you choose to but remember about taking care of yourself too. Also, you should pay more attention to deadlines. You can get lost so you need to remember about passing time and other details. You are really responsible and devoted, don’t overdo yourself but also try to look at yourself (especially your health) realistically. Getting a flu won’t kill you but don’t ignore it either. Keep yourself in check.

7th House -  be aware your weakness lays in your  relationships. Whether they are of romantic nature or platonic; you may appear as a very confusing person to others and others are like that to you too. You may have problem with recognizing people who have bad influnece on you, you may idolize them and you can be too dependent on others. There is always something very entangled in your partnerships and you need to recognize that and stop idolizing people in your life. You need to directly adress those issuses. There is a chance for you to see relationships with people clear, as they are. You will become more confident and more independent as a person. Just stay aware of your relationships and don’t let them define you.

8th House - your weakness is tied to taboo topics. You may become obsessed with sensitive topics like death and sex.  You may feel you lack understanding of those and  try obsessively to get information in those areas. You may feel confused and feel you are truly not living your life here on Earth because you may focus too much on matters connected to the other world. You need to be aware that  delving into dangerous matters with that kind of passion may not bring you what you want and just make you feel more lost in life. Use knowledge you gain in constructive way. Don’t hoard it, it can cause you more pain. Share it with others. Don’t idolize taboo. Focus on mundane things too. Come back from the dead, your world is here. 

9th House -  your weakness lays in your philosophy. You may feel confused about your beliefs and be easily influenced by others in this area. Whether you are more into spirituality or religion, any area involving higher realms seems to be bringing confusion to you. This also apply to higher education. You may have problem with finding out what you want to study and you can become perpetual student or reject idea of studying at all. You may have problem with describing your life philosophy and often change beliefs. You can become a fantastic teacher for yourself and others. You have great psychic abilities. Don’t let this confusion stop you from spiritual development. 

10th House - be aware that your weakness lays in your social position. You  feel confused about your position in the world you may feel lost on your life path and you may appear to others as this always indecisive person in those matters. Be aware that feeling of being lost in life happens to everyone. You need to remember about what you truly want to achieve and understand that it will take time. Don’t idolize achievement. Follow it but don’t forget about other important things in life. You will be at the top of a social ladder. You will inspire others to work hard for your goals. Just be aware that outer sucess is not the goal end in life.

11th House - your vulnerability lays in your sense of belonging. 
Confusion is tied to your need to be a part of a group. You may idolize them a lot. You may idolize society a lot and see no flaws in how it functions.  You may also do that to your friends. You need to stop looking at people through pink glasses. Remember that humanity is flawed. Be aware of that  being a human means making  mistakes. You can be a strong individual who can do a lot of good for people and society but you need to remember about the fact that society is built from individuals who just like you, are only humans. Allow them to be.

12th House - your weakness lays in your isolation. You may feel very helpess and confused, you may feel you are not safe in this world and you may try to delve into another to find your inner security. You isolate yourself from this world and it not only brings you more confusion but it is also a source of your pain. You can’t run from yourself. You are extremely gifted person. You have amazing ability to reach higher dimensions but you shouldn’t do that in order to avoid pain. Be aware of the mundane world and try to stay more connected with it. You won’t regret it. Our world is painful but you are a part of it. And people like you make it more beautiful.

In retrograde
- you may have a problem with accepting your vulnerability due to the aversion in immersing into the more spiritual side of yourself. You are a very private person and you dislike showing  vulnerability but it runs deep in you and you cannot reject this part of yourself.

I keep seeing annoying thinkpieces say that Cap was rejecting the very idea of external oversight of any kind, which— no he wasn’t?? Even remotely??

He was basically saying that he wouldn’t be comfortable signing something unless there was a system of checks and balances in place that would prevent The Avengers from becoming “Winter Soldier Death Squad: USA Edition”. (Yes, I know he didn’t know about the deathsquad at that point. But he’s done his homework on US military policy. His concerns are not unfounded.)

Remember what Bucky said about his former co-workers? “Their most elite death squad. More kills than anyone in HYDRA history, and that was before the serum. They speak 30 languages. Can hide in plain sight. Infiltrate, assassinate, destabilize. They can take a whole country down in one night, you’d never see them coming.” Steve is asking for assurances that whatever governing body gains control of the Avengers won’t decide to use THEM that way— and, in fact, won’t even THINK of them that way. I think that’s part of why he becomes so furious whenever people refer to Bucky, Wanda, Thor, and Bruce as “weapons” instead of people. When you talk about a person as BEING a weapon, you have taken the first step towards using them AS a weapon.

In fact, in many ways, I feel like CACW was basically Watchmen: Redux, but the version Zack Snyder refused to make. The central question is the same: who watches the watchmen?

In Watchmen (book more than movie), the answer is not “no one.” The answer is: different people/groups (and yes, sometimes no one) at different periods throughout history. But remember when the group watching the Watchmen was the US Government? Because when the US Government was in charge, after the Keene Act (cough Sokovian Accords cough), the Watchmen had the option of either retiring, or accepting orders to destabilize foreign governments and commit mass slaughter, all in the name of “keeping order”. AKA, literally what the Winter Soldier Deathsquad in CACW were built for. Remember, Hydra’s #1 goal is “order”, but an authoritarian order that they get to decide and enforce.

In CACW, I don’t see Steve saying “The Avengers are perfect and no one can tell us what to doooooooo!” He knows perfectly well that they are not infallible (see A:AoU). But he also knows that on the ground and in the field, things go FUBAR and you have to restrategize and do the best with what you have at the time. One of Cap’s superpowers is his instinct for strategy in battle (clearly serum-based, since pre-serum Steve Rogers’ favorite strategy was “spend entire life running into brick walls both metaphorical and literal”). He is asking: will the Accords allow him to use that power? Would he be allowed to use his own judgment? Would the rest of his team? INCLUDING Tony? When Tony flew the nuclear bomb up into the sky-hole way back in The Avengers, he was essentially violating the will of the government agency that decided to nuke NYC, because he saw a way to stop the invasion without causing the deaths of millions. Would the policies of the Accords allow him to make that decision (or a parallel one) in the future, or would he be arrested and locked up for violating his “contract”?

I mean, sure, in the midst of the initial discussion, Peggy dies, so Steve bails, and then all the Bucky stalking starts up and Steve is all “I WILL BURN DOWN THE WORLD FOR HIM, SEE IF I WON’T”, so the initial conflict gets ratcheted up about a million times, but the central question of “who gets to be in charge of these superpowered weirdos, and what does being in charge really mean” still runs through the whole plot. It runs parallel to the question of Bucky’s culpability. When you are turned into a weapon and used as a weapon, are you to blame for the destruction that follows?

I keep seeing the conflict framed as this—

TONY: We need to be held accountable!
CAP: No we don’t!

But I don’t see that at all in the actual movie. I see this—

TONY: We need to be held accountable!
CAP: Accountable to whom? And what does being held accountable mean?

[feelings-based punching breaks out, no one ever answers Cap’s implied question, Tony himself finds out that being “held accountable” means being shoved into the nautical oubliette where you get de-powered and possibly beaten for the rest of your life, T’Challa proves that his government is the only one that should be trusted to be in charge of anything]

This Is How You’ll Fall In Love In 2017
  • Aries: As someone who is both confident and courageous, oddly you’ll find yourself in a relationship that might have taken a bit of convincing. But you never gave up on the person. It’s going to be someone you’ve had your eye on and have known for a while. In return, for your unwavering loyalty in the pursuit, this is going to be the love that makes you forget you ever cared about anyone before that.
  • Taurus: You’re already in love. You’re going to get back with your ex this year. All will be forgiven. You guys are going to make it.
  • Gemini: You’re someone who puts their job ahead of everything in their life. Because you invest a lot of time and emotions into it, you’re going to find yourself in a relationship with someone you work with. As complicated as it’s going to seem at first because initially, you’re going to reject the idea, the person won’t let you go that easy. And through their faith, you guys are going to come out on top both in your relationship and career.
  • Cancer: As someone who values family as much as you do, you’ll find yourself in a relationship with someone who knows your family very well and is very close with them. And when someone sets you up, you’ll realize how compatible you are. Falling in love will happen very quickly.
  • Leo: As someone who is a natural born leader, you’re going to find someone who challenges you in the best way and is the one who wears the pants in the relationship. You guys are going to meet and at first hate each other, then you’ll realize the teasing and testing one another, makes for a really good relationship. But neither of you will want to admit such a thing, so you’re going to stay friends for a while until one of you makes the move. The love between you two, you’ll realize has been there for a while.
  • Virgo: As someone who has analyzed every relationship in the past, to a point where it’s made you resent love, one day you’re going to meet someone and there won’t be a single doubt in your mind. They’ll reassure you and you’ll have confidence in them and in love again. It’s going to be in the summer months when you’re just trying to ‘do you,’ you’ll meet someone on a night out with your friends. Even though you didn’t want to go out, you’ll be glad you did.
  • Libra: You’re the life of every party you walk into. At said party, in your future, you’ll find yourself locking eyes with someone across the room and that’ll be it.]
  • Scorpio: I’m sure you’ve tried dating apps that have not worked. You date but don’t find yourself interested enough to pursue it anymore. Your emotional intelligence is something very rare in anyone and makes it hard for you to relate to people. But it’s something a lot of people don’t know about you. You’re the most complicated and hardest to the love of all signs but when you do love, it’s full of passion and right. The person you fall in love with next is someone from your past someone who understood you before you even understood yourself.
  • Sagittarius: As someone who has a passion for traveling and seeing the world, on one of your trips, you’re going to meet someone who is like you in every way. As you fall in love with places you haven’t seen yet, you too will find yourself falling fast for this stranger. And you’ll realize despite how different your backgrounds may be, none of it matters and you’ll overcome whatever obstacles are in your way.
  • Capricorn: You’re going to end up dating your best friend and you’ll wish you did it sooner.
  • Aquarius: While your independence is something to be admired by many, you’re going to meet someone who is going to make you not want to be single anymore. With your lifestyle and fast pace life, you’ll meet them through work or your hobbies. This person will be on the same page as you are with goals, career, and drive. You’ll motivate each other in achieving things and you’ll be one of those power couples.
  • Pisces: As someone who is highly emotional and very intact with their feelings, your love story will be one for the books. It’s going to be with someone you see often but looked right through. Then once it happens, you’ll wonder how you ever lived without them. It’ll be a relationship people envy but you’re going to want to keep it to yourself.
Ceres in the Houses: The Extremes of Life

Besides showing how we nurture and want to be nurtured, Ceres also deals with our highs and lows- the brilliant highs and dizzy joys of the times we have what we want, and the darker days when we completely lose our faith. 

Wherever Ceres is placed [click here to find], that’s where you face the most intense issues, and experience the most intense happiness. The highs and lows come in a cyclical way:

Ceres in the First House
Your personal appearance, your reputation, your persona, your profile
- Typical manifestation of the highs: Enormous self-confidence about one’s unique personality
- Typical manifestation of the lows: Severe identity crises 

Ceres in the Second House
Your money, your talents, your possessions, your self-esteem
- Typical manifestation of the highs: Being capable of getting anything
- Typical manifestation of the lows: Suddenly realizing nothing that was gained matters after all

Ceres in the Third House
Your words and ideas, your life on the internet, your speech, writing
- Typical manifestation of the highs: Being heard and respected for one’s mental capacities
- Typical manifestation of the lows: Having one’s ideas completely rejected, ignored or ridiculed 

Ceres in the Fourth House
Your family, your hometown or country, your home, your roots
- Typical manifestation of the highs: An incredible sense of belonging
- Typical manifestation of the lows: Trying so hard to fit in but not being able to

Ceres in the Fifth House
Your children, your lovers, your art, your leisure time
- Typical manifestation of the highs: Feeling as if one’s creativity is at its peak and anything can be done
- Typical manifestation of the lows: Feeling devoid of any artistic skills at all, feeling empty and not being able to tap into one’s imagination

Ceres in the Sixth House
Your body, your working life, your housework, your duty and service
- Typical manifestation of the highs: Being incredibly productive and efficient, full of energy
- Typical manifestation of the lows: Not being able to get anything done, feeling ill and stressed out without concrete reasons

Ceres in the Seventh House
Your former, current or potential partners, your enemies or rivals, justice
- Typical manifestation of the highs: Being able to understand others completely, having others trust you fully
- Typical manifestation of the lows: Feeling isolated and left alone, being ostracized, having the hunch that someone’s planning something against you

Ceres in the Eighth House
Your financial or property agreements, secrets, sexual relationships
- Typical manifestation of the highs: Having all your bills taken care of, being trusted enough to to manage other people’s resources
- Typical manifestation of the lows: Having to borrow money but not being able to pay it back

Ceres in the Ninth House
Your travel, foreign, educational or publishing agenda
- Typical manifestation of the highs: Achieving a state of full understanding of the concepts you were studying/investigating/contemplating
- Typical manifestation of the lows: Being stuck in a series of sticky situations & not being able to do anything to escape

Ceres in the Tenth House
Your career, your reputation, social status
- Typical manifestation of the highs: Getting a promotion, being publicly congratulated/praised for having done such a great job 

Ceres in the Eleventh House
Your friends, your groups, clubs, teams, societies or committees
- Typical manifestation of the highs: Being able to contribute greatly to the causes you’ve been supporting
- Typical manifestation of the lows: Being denied a saying in what happens in your group/association, being expelled from it 

Ceres in the Twelfth House
Your secrets, your unconscious mind, psychology, the psychic world
- Typical manifestation of the highs: Understanding the self completely, interpreting your dreams, tapping into the unconscious
- Typical manifestation of the lows: Feeling divided, feeling lost/broken and as if one’s identity has been shattered

-crystal melbourne | within the zodiac | “where’s my Ceres?”

Ceres in Astrology

Ceres is commonly associated as being the quintessential Earth Mother, and rules over food, cooking, nutrition, animals, and has coined the keyword of ‘nurture’, and has been strongly associated as the modern day ruler of Virgo in Astrology.

Upon my own astrological study of the asteroid, I aimed to seperate her ‘nurture’ in relation to the nurture and care provided by the moon. Upon several chart studies and samples, it became clear the role Ceres plays within ones chart.

Ceres rules the action orientation of nurturing: What needs to be DONE to give and receive nurturing. It shows what you experienced in the nurturing environment and how you learnt how to care for yourself, hence her association with the sign of virgo - she is the practical nurturer.

Moon in ones chart is much more personal and has to do with your inner world and how you internally identify yourself and also describes your automatic reactions to external situations

Ceres focuses primarily on the ACT OF NURTURING ITSELF. It doesn’t contribute to ones identification, nor does it dictate the way nurturing affects our overall emotional wellbeing - it primarily shows what makes us happy in terms of comfort and physical care.

Ceres is the external manifestation of nurturing that primarily looks at your physical environment, while the moon is about your emotional wellbeing

With Ceres, there is also a reflection of the conditionality of nurturing and lack thereof. What was commonly found throughout the chart studies is that Ceres seems to be a manifestation of what we ultimately LACKED during childhood, and how we choose how to nurture others by how we learnt to care for ourselves. This sense of nurturing stems from what we wanted, though wasn’t adequately received.

Upon reflecting on the research and study from Professional Astrologer Steve Judd (who has 35+ years of experience reading natal charts), he indicated an afflicted Ceres in the natal chart commonly shows that as the native reaches their 30s/40s may develop a processed wheat intolerance or digestive complaint.

Harsh aspects to Ceres could also show issues of abandonment, grief, eating disorders, over-attachment, custody issues and parent-child complexes.

Check your Ceres sign and House placement

Ceres in Aries (1st)

As a child, you experienced an environment where you had to essentially learn to care for yourself. Either the parental figures were not present to give you proper nurturing and therefore you had to learn how to be independent and fend for yourself. If you had siblings, you may have taken the role of caring for them by taking most likely indicated by the house area Ceres is located. If Ceres is afflicted, you may have experienced a form of violence or aggression in the home life.

You may tend to be quite self reliant in caring, and may not want to allow others to take much care for you since you feel best when you do it for yourself. This may include cooking and cleaning for yourself, and you may get somewhat agitated if people do your tasks for you -especially without your say-so.

You may tend to care for yourself quite physically by being quite active, not necessarily going to the gym or exercising regularly but also just general movement throughout the day.

You take care of others through action - strictly doing things for another. You help improve other’s sense of independence, and as a parent, you may show your child how to do things so they can learn. Once you’ve shown them, you expect them to take the initiative to do it for themselves from then on.

You also care for the needs of others by encouraging their inherent sense of bravery, and to be bold and fearless of any hardships. You may become impatient with those who don’t attempt to care for themselves. You also establish yourself as ‘THE’ nurturing figure in your household, placing yourself as the leading care taking figure.


Ceres in Taurus (2nd)

As a child, you experienced an environment that revolved around material possessions and resources. You may have grew up in a home life where money was a great focus by one or both of the parental figures. One parent may have been quite a hard worker and/or a big spender. If well aspected, you may have experienced the pleasure of being able to access a lot of material possessions and/or resources and possibly an abundance of good food.

However, if Ceres is poorly aspected, you may have experienced and environment where the opposite was true. Money may have been limited, and you may have witness your caregivers working relentlessly to obtain a sustainable income to support you. Your parental figures may have done their best to provide you with care through means of physical affection, though if afflicted, this can indicate the LACK of physical affection from the care giver(s).

This could show a parent who was un-demonstrative to you, and ended up ‘buying’ their way out of giving you the physical affection you may have wanted.

You may have been given the excuse “I work hard to give you food and clothes and you should be grateful!” - though what you may have wanted most was a display of care and affection through something as simple as a hug.

You aim to care for your body quite well through soaps, creams and food, though you have to make sure not to overindulge with this placement.

You now give care and nurture through providing for them materially. You want to give people (and especially your children) the best you can afford, and you will work hard to obtain and give them what they want the most, buying gifts you know they’ll love and appreciate. You may also enjoy giving care through cooking for them, and also giving a bountiful supply of hugs and physical affection.

You also wish to care for yourself through the means of eating good (rich) food, and also shopping and being able to have items in which are only owned and enjoyed by you. This can be even more valuable for you if you purchased items using your own money you’ve earned yourself. Having a well balanced bank account (or perhaps even a little excess) can make you feel quite happy and grounded. You may also simply enjoy lazing around the home environment, watching movies snuggled under your favourite blanket.

Gardening or engaging in artistic endeavours such as painting or craft, and this can also improve your sense of wellbeing.


Ceres in Gemini (3rd)

As a child, you experienced an environment where the parental figures may have been quite erratic, often coming and going from the home environment. This may indicate that you also experienced frequent local trips with your care givers, whether that was simply a quick journey to the local super market than home or to see other family members close by. You may have experienced one of the parental figures as being quite emotionally detached and perhaps not as physically expressive of their affections towards you. Instead, they nurtured you by simply talking to you, and engaging in conversation or saying “I love you” rather than showing it. You may also have learnt to speak quite early in youth.

You may have been entertained by books and also other self-learning toys and games.

You may have also experienced much interaction with your siblings (or cousins/people in the neighbourhood if you’re an only child) growing up.

If afflicted, you may have had your thoughts and ideas rejected by the parental figures. You may have had difficulty verbally expressing how you felt towards the care giver(s) as you may have simply been ignored or most often, the parental figure spoke over the top of you, which left you feeling like your ideas and opinions were rejected. You may also have had some sort of learning difficulty which caused you frustration and left you feeling intellectually insignificant in comparison to your peers. This could have involved an inability to solve simple maths problems, difficulty spelling or speech problems when it came to the pronunciation of words.

You may tend to want to care for your mental health and wellbeing more so than your physical. Getting out of the house regularly may be quite beneficial to you.

You may find your sense of wellbeing is improved when you feel educated on a variety of topics, and knowledge is a source of comfort for you. this can include knowing what’s happening in the news, to being able to use technology well. You feel cared for when people simply ask how you are, and specifically about your wellbeing. You appreciate your health being recognised, and you feel even better when you are able to talk about how you’re feeling and are listened to. Text messages, comments and phone calls are also another way you feel most cared for, as well as writing, journalling and even blogging. Taking trips to your local area is also a great way to improve your sense of wellness, (whether thats taking a bus trip to the other side of town to a cafe than home or simply going for a walk).

You care for others through talking to them about how they are feeling, while also perhaps giving advice as to how they can improve their own health and wellbeing. You may also check in with loved ones daily through text or phone call, simply to ask how they are. You may also enjoy caring for others through teaching them something, especially on a topic you are well versed in. You may not feel the most comfortable dealing with intensely emotional situations, as you tend to like to provide care through rationalising things and putting them into realistic context.


Ceres in Cancer (4th)

As a child, you grew up in an environment where you may have experienced a parent/child complex with the mother figure. If well aspected, the relationship with the mother could have been quite beneficial, though their may still have been a subtle sense of tension in relation to the mother figure.

With this placement, if ill aspected or inspected in ones chart, the mother figure may have been absent in the nurturing environment, and/or you may not have gotten the love, care and affection from your mother as you would have liked. Your mother figure may have spent more time concerned about your siblings growing up (if you have any), leaving you to care for yourself. On the flip side, you may have experienced a parental figure who was overprotective of you and/or quite clingy.

If Ceres is heavily affected in the sign if cancer, you may have experienced an unsafe Homelife or may have a had issues with setting secure home foundations. This could have included frequently changing home locations.

If well aspected however, you may have experienced the nurturing environment to be quite warm, secure, comfortable and safe, whereby you had a good relationship with your mother and other female figures in the family.

You may find your sense of wellbeing is improved when you have an established and secure home where you can take refuge in from people in the outside world, you may feel most comfortable when at home and/or with your own family members. You may also be a strong and protective caretaker over your Homelife and family, and will especially pay great attention to the care and nurturing of your own children (if you have any or decide to). You may tend to put your emotional wellbeing before your physical.

You may find yourself quite protective and defensive over your child, especially if you felt neglected in that area in childhood. You may also find comfort in cooking and perhaps even home maintain. Every now and again, crying as an act of emotional release and stress can also be quite beneficial to your overall sense of wellbeing. Physical affection and close body contact with a trusted loved one will also greatly improve your sense of comfort and security. If you have a good relationship with your mother, you may find comfort in confiding in her or perhaps other female figures in the family.

You provide care and nurture for others by giving them emotional support, and you may also enjoy having your home place as a site of refuge and security for others. You tend to want to coddle and fuss over those you care for, and if you enjoy cooking, you may enjoy offering them food, or perhaps even supplying them with food, snacks and treats to lighten their spirits. You may also enjoy caring for others by simply holding them and maybe even cry with them in times of distress.


Ceres in Leo (5th)

With this placement, you may have experienced a nurturing figure who may have been loud, bold and perhaps quite bossy.

If possibly afflicted or un-aspected, This parent may have tended to ‘steal your spotlight’ during childhood, and you may have felt like their shadow, or played a secondary role in their ‘performance’. One of your parental figures may have been quite loud and obnoxious, making you feel small in comparison, especially if they presented themselves as being quite self centred in their actions.

The parental figure may have tried to make you feel special, but you may not have received their excess attention well as you may have found it to be ‘too much’. On the flip side, you may not have felt like you got enough attention or your sense of individuality, self expression and sense of ‘specialness’ may not have been nourished during childhood, as your parental figure may have been too involved in themselves and what they’re doing.

You feel most cared for when your self expression is acknowledged, and when people are taking notice of you, making eye contact and really engaging with you. Your sense of wellbeing may be heightened when you engage in play and activities you find fun and entertaining. Sincere compliments from others can really boost your sense of happiness, as well as being given gifts or any expression of true generosity. Physical affection such as hugs and kisses also make you feel very happy and warm inside. As a parent, you may be quite fun and playful with your child, and encourage them to express themselves and be who they are, and not to feel pressured to ‘fit in’. You strongly encourage them in whatever they do and will make an effort to remind them how special they are to you.

If Ceres is well aspected, you should have a strong vitality and heart health, and you aim to care for your self-esteem and self confidence more so than your physical body (which may be relatively fit if the rest of the natal chart supports this)

You take care of others by acknowledging them and making them feel special as an individual. You praise the individuality inherent in people and compliment them on their talents. You shine a spotlight on others and elevate them in anyway you can. You give much praise and compliments and aim to enhance their sense of self confidence, reminding them that they are a powerful individual. You may also care for others by being playful and humorous, not to mention expressing your sense of generosity towards them by giving them gifts as well as bountiful physical expressions of love and affection.


Ceres in Virgo (6th)

You may have experienced a home life where you were assumed a lot of responsibilities at a young age. You may not have got to experience a true childhood due to responsibilities being assumed to you, or perhaps you experienced excessively hard working parents that never got to pay much attention to you. You may have had a caretaker that was incredibly perfectionistic and fault finding. They may have been too critical of you and/or the way you do things.

On the other hand, your caregivers may have been rather ‘sloppy’ or ‘lost’ in life, so you had to learn how to care for yourself which included learning how to do day-to-day tasks alone. The alternative could be that the parental figure taught you how to do things then expected you to take care of yourself from then on.

There is also a possibility with this placement with being micro-managed as a child, and if Ceres is harshly affected (by Saturn or Pluto), there may have been a development of an eating disorder later in life due for the need to have some self - control, which came from the ability to control what you ate.

Ultimately the way you tend to nurture and care for yourself is by having your own established routine which illuminates any stress for you. You also may also aim to keep a clean and balanced diet, and keeping your health in check - perhaps using natural medicines and naturopathy. Keeping your environment neat and clean can also enhance your sense of wellbeing, as well as possibly having a job or some kind of task where you feel like you are being productive. This placement (depending on other factors in the chart) may have the hardest time relaxing and finding calm in ‘doing nothing’, so keeping stimulated by doing daily chores and activities will enhance how you feel.

You may enjoy making lists, keeping calendars and reading self-help or self-improvement books also.

You care for others by providing them structure in their daily life, helping them when they are in need, either by showing you how to do a task then moving on or assisting them doing a task (virgo has a bad habit of doing things completely for people anyway!).

You may also care for others by giving them constructive criticism on how they can improve something or themselves. You’re quite happy to help them in the process if they are willing to do the work.

As a parent, you may be the type to do things for your child regularly, including cleaning their environment and keeping them quite clean and hygienic. You may be meticulous about caring for their health, making sure they are getting a variety of vitamins, preferably through their diet alone. You may have their health checked quite regularly also. You may teach your child early as to how to care for themselves and also work very hard in your job to support them, while also teaching them the value of hard work.  


Ceres in Libra (7th)

As a child, you may have grown up in an environment where there may have been a constant fluctuation in the home environment. You may have experienced constant highs and lows, especially with a caregiver, which may have involved constant ups and downs - either emotionally or their personality.

There may have been a separation of the parents at a young age, or perhaps the parents were never together at all. You may have witnessed the more negative aspects in relationships between your parents/caregivers, including arguments, conflicts and perhaps an imbalance of fairness between the individuals.

One parent may have put too much emphasis on your appearance, whether that meant physically or the way you acted in front of others. This may have made you feel more like an object rather than their child.

There may have also been issues around fairness, perhaps you were often blamed for something a sibling had done, of even the parent blaming you unjustIy for something.

The way you care for yourself now revolves around having your opinion heard and valued as an alternative perspective. You want you ideas to be taken into account and judged fairly. You may wish to care for and nurture your own appearance and beautify yourself for your own happiness and pleasure, not to impress others or to fit their external ideals of you. You may also enjoy engaging in music or arts as a way of expression your sense of aesthetic joys instead of revolving around your appearance.  You may also enjoy having the company of another to give you a sense of support when it comes to your ideas, opinions and feelings about things.

You aim to achieve a balanced diet, though may tend to lean more towards eating sweets if you’re not paying attention. If in good health, you should have a steady and balanced weight.

You care for others by listening to their and valuing their viewpoint and opinions. You make sure you give another your attention and engaging in one-on-one conversations, fully taking in their perspective and ideas on things and helping them find a balance and/or a compromise to their problems. You’ll defend for those you care for, not afraid to stand up for them in times of dispute.

With regards to your children, you may be quite a permissive parent, allowing you child to do and have things if it will please them and make them happy. You may like to spin your child and take care in their appearance and teach them how to behave politely. You will be quite affectionate to your child and may want them to be quite social with other children. You listen to what your child has to say and if they have siblings, you aim to not let one child have more affection than another, timing to love them both/all equally.


Ceres in Scorpio (8th)

You may have experienced a home life where there was a high level degree of intensity experienced by one or both of the care givers growing up. You may have witnessed a parent go through emotional extremes, typically over a traumatising event in which you may not have much recollection of. This may have put you into a position where you had to learn how to deal with the extremities of the parent/caregiver, and be able to handle their energy by protecting yourself with your own personal power, while also trying to aid and heal them.

On the other hand, one of the parental figures have been quite overbearing in the home life, and their personality type may have been quite potent to you, to the point where your true emotional reactions and feelings were suppressed - either out of fear of the parents reactions, or that your feelings were rejected because the caregiver was lost in a void of their own emotional extremes.

What you desire for self-nurture and care is a place where you be reside and be in solitude for a while, not allowing the emotions of others to interfere with you. You may feel safe when you keep your darkest secrets buried in yourself, and you greatly dislike the probing of others who try to dig it out. You may also feel cared for through intense emotional and physical connections with others, and this can include the act of sex though intimate cuddling with another can be just as satisfying for you also. You may have a laser focus on your health and well being, and you may care more about your psychological health than your physical one.

With this placement, you also have a tremendous capacity to heal others. You understand the dynamics of trauma and the out pouring of suppressed emotions. Your unshakable stature in the face of the extremes of others gives you the ability to take on their intensity and help guide them to transform it into something thats beneficial and healthy. You’re passionately caring for others and fiercely protective. You are able to completely rejuvenate others, but be aware you don’t take on their emotional trauma in and exchange of your healing with this placement.

As a parent, you may be ruthlessly protective over your child, and will certainly not tolerate bullying or harassment from other children. You may at times be quite overbearing to them and want to protect them from the harsh outer world, because you know how frightful the world can be sometimes. You want to encourage your child not to be fearful of anything, because you want them to understand that while life may be difficult at times, you want them to always be strong and come out the other side stronger than they were before.


Ceres in Sagittarius (9th)

You may have experienced a home life where one (or both) of the parental figures were frequently absent from home. They may have travelled long-distances, been living in another country, or just distant in general, perhaps on a more personal level.

You may have been given too little or too much freedom in your home environment (perhaps one parent was too restrictive while the other was too placid) and you may have become irritated by the parent who tried to pin you down when the other gave you all the freedom in the world. One of your caregivers reckless behaviour may have allowed you (or deliberately put you into) risky situations that may have put you in danger.

You may have also experienced a lot of travel as a child, or perhaps simply a variety of cultures which allowed to see the world around you in a more expansive light.

The carefree sense you experienced in childhood now may have made it difficult for you to except and express any intensely emotional situations, which now may result in you becoming quite ‘flighty’ and you’d rather avoid a situation where you have to take on responsibility.  You may be quite careless when it comes to caring for your health and wellbeing, and you may tell yourself that “I’ll be fine no matter what I do (eat/sleep times ect).

You may ultimately want space and freedom to care for yourself, and not feel responsible for anyone else but yourself, nor do you enjoy other people fussing over you. You may also enjoy getting outdoors quite often, whether that includes going for a long drive or a hike, to simply getting outside and lounging around on a hammock. You may also like to be quite active, whether this is playing sports or generally moving around a lot.

As mentioned previously, you tend not to want to have the personal responsibility for caring for others, so you may encourage them to be independent and learn how to do things for themselves. You may prefer to care for others through teaching, and especially opening their minds to other possibilities and ideas when they feel stuck or set in where they are and what they are doing. You’re quite happy to encourage people by inspiring them to be more optimistic about their situation, and describing your vision of their future if they may take your guided advice.

As a parent, you’ll encourage your child to have high morals, and not to do anything to the detriment of others. You want to teach them things about life and to open their mind to broaden their perspectives, encouraging them to not be judgmental of others.You may have a lot of faith in your child/children, and encourage them to be optimistic when things get tough. You may also be quite a playful and fun-loving parent.


Ceres in Capricorn (10th)

With this placement, you may have been pressured to growing up too fast during childhood. You may have had many responsibilities implemented on you at a young age, or perhaps something occurred where you had to learn to grow up fast and become responsible for yourself. With this placement, there was a possibility whereby you had to swap roles with a parental figure, and you may of ended up taking care of them instead of them carrying out their duties as a caregiver.

You may have also had a very stern and workaholic parent, who’s own personal duties and responsibilities made you feel neglected. They may not have been an emotionally demonstrative parent, rather caring for you by simply providing for you. They may have aimed to teach you the importance of work and goals, and expected you to do the same as you aged.

You may now be quite independent when caring for yourself, and prefer taking the authoritative role as the leading care giver in the household. You like to structure your own routine and way of doing things, and you are quite disciplinary to your children if you have any. You don’t typically enjoy others doing things for you unless you ask and/or give them direction of exactly what you want done. You like to make sure your bank account and workalike is completely in order, and you need to be aware of neglecting your physical health if you become too focused on your goals and work life (eg, skipping meals or neglecting sleep because you’re too busy working late nights at work or on a project).

If Ceres is harshly aspected, be aware of the development of restriction diets as you may be more susceptible to these which are greatly detrimental to your health.

Make sure you get plenty of calcium to and take care of your bones, joints and teeth.

You may provide care for others by being a leader and showing them how to take care of themselves, and encouraging goal setting and structuring a self-care routine or plan. Because you enjoy being a leading care taker, careful not to hold yourself responsible for the care and wellbeing of others too much and especially do not try to push people out of the way and reap them of their independence when caring for themselves. You may not be entirely affectionally demonstrative when caring for others (unless other chart factors contribute), and would rather show care and nurture through doing tasks for another.


Ceres in Aquarius (11th)

You may have grew up in a home life where you may have experienced a lot of chaos around you and/or had a caregiver who was unpredictable in their emotions and personality. One minute they may be calm, and then yelling and screaming about something the next. You may not have felt like your sense of individuality and ‘specialness’ was cared for as a child, and you learnt how to become emotionally detached from situations and observe what was going on around you. This was essentially a defensive mechanism for yourself due to a parent(s) unpredictability.

On the other hand, you may have had a parent or caregiver who was quite emotionally detached and unexpressive themselves. They may not have given you the closeness or demonstrated love and affection towards you as much as you would have liked. You may have felt more like ‘friends’ or ‘buddies’ with this parent, and although you may have enjoyed that, you may have felt left out on some of the true emotional connection found in other parent/child relationships.

You now care for yourself by not becoming too attached in relationship situations with anyone, not just romantic (depending on other placements). You tend to feel best when with a large group of friends, where your sense of ‘individuality’ is nurtured in a larger group or community. You may prefer to care for yourself and have the freedom to do your own thing when you want to.

You may not wish to care for others directly, rather letting people have the freedom to be themselves and to do their own thing. You encourage peoples eccentricities and to express themselves however they want to with you without judgment.

As a parent, you want to be able to be your child’s friend and companion. You may encourage a sense of independence in thought, and doing things and you may not be the type to concentrate so much on disciplining your child/children. You approach care taking in a relaxed and detached manner from your child, and may tend to ‘hand the child over’ to the other parent if they decide to have a temper tantrum of an emotional outburst.


Ceres in Pisces (12th)

With this placement, you may have grown up in an environment whereby you didn't’ really ‘know’ one or both of your caregivers. This doesn’t mean they were absent from you in childhood (though thats possible with this placement), but you may not have fully known the personality and/or anything about one of your caregivers. They may have been present with you your whole life, yet you never seemed to really ‘know’ them, and only saw them in your home as an extra figure in the family. There may have been an illusive sense about this caregiver, whereby you felt like you couldn’t really understand them.

If afflicted, one of your care givers may have been an escapist from reality, either by hiding in the confines of the home not doing much, or indulging in something to avoid the everyday reality (this could be from  as simple as movies to something such as drugs and/or alcohol).

You may have also experienced a home environment where you became the victim of a situation. This could have been something rather extreme such as violence if Ceres is harshly aspected, or something such as being bullied by another sibling, where you had to run to the parent to ‘save’ you.

You may have felt quite alone and secluded at times, where you were left with your imagination to keep you occupied, possibly playing pretend games, playing as a character or with toys. In some cases, you may have felt quite close to spiritual beings and guides to keep you more company that living people.

The way you wished to be cared for is by having your alone time to recharge your energies. You may feel quite happy and nurtured by spiritual beings when asking for channeled healing energies. Music, art and spiritual practices such as yoga, meditation and crystals may also be a form of self care for you. You wished to be cared for by others by having them take care of the practical side of things for you (depending on other placements in your chart). You also wish to receive unconditional love and care from others, and feeling emotionally and spiritually connected to someone can bring you a great sense of healing. The company of pets and animals can definitely help you feel comforted, as they are all compassionate beings which can always provide you unconditional love you desire to feel cared for.

You have a great capacity to energetically heal others. You may be interested in things such as reiki and/or remote healing, crystal therapy and so on. You can also give people copious amounts of unconditional love and affection, attending to anyone and need from the ill, to the elderly, children and the homeless. You can completely understand the emotional wounds of others, and can provide compassionate care and nurture to help aid them in anyway you can. With this placement, note to keep yourself energetically protected when healing someone in this way, as you can transmute their energies to yourself.

As a parent, you may encourage your child to engage in artistic ventures and creativity. You will encourage your child’s fantasies and play along with them and their games of pretend. You may quite lack disciplining them, being to forgiving of the things they do. You will listen to them with understanding and empathy, and will provide a close sense of emotional and spiritual connection to your child.

©ellie-mae-astrology on Tumblr

(Note* There was much more I could have written about Ceres and the nurturing environment including more positive associations with this asteroid + this post was written in the Mercury Retrograde shadow period - may be subject to be altered over time)  

Lance challenging Shiro in episode 8

ok, i’m still really fired up about black paladin!Lance, so i wanted to post more about this after talking to a few people on the subject. also kudos to @ironinkpen for making that post earlier because i’m so?? blessed???

anyways, i want to talk about this scene.

this scene is arguably one of the most uncomfortable, stressful moments i’ve ever seen on the show. not because they are on a very dangerous mission, not because they don’t know if they can trust the blade of marmora, no.

Lance challenges Shiro’s judgement. 

Lance challenges Shiro’s judgement. Shiro, who is the pilot of the black lion. Shiro, who is their highly respected leader who always knows what to do. Shiro, who everyone on the team has followed without question. Shiro, who Lance looks up to and is his so called hero.

Lance angrily raises his voice to the point where he is actually yelling, his voice even cracks! and he gets all up in Shiro’s face! Shiro has to push Lance back by the shoulders to make him back off!

and you know what? Lance has every right to get upset. he makes a really valid point in how Keith is impulsive and will let his stubbornness get the better of him (WHICH ACTUALLY HAPPENS AND ALMOST COSTS THE MISSION TO FAIL).

literally nobody on the team has challenged Shiro’s decisions like this before. this could also be another forshadowing moment for Lance becoming the black paladin, because he’s the only one who has ever questioned Shiro like this. 

and you know what makes this even more possible?

right after this scene, Shiro and Keith are flying in the red lion, and Shiro brings up how he wants Keith to lead someday. and Keith is very quick to change the subject and reject the idea of something happening to Shiro

basically what i’m trying to say is i’m overanalyzing the fuck out of this but this could possibly be forshadowing something