Request: Hello. I was wondering if you could do a SamxReader based off of the song undone by Haley Reinhart? Thank you so much!!!
Word Count: 940
Here it is, I hope you like it! Thanks!<3
PS. The song made me cry like a baby. I hope you’re happy :p
Yet again, you find yourself staring at the bottom of a bottle. The burn of alcohol still tingles at your tongue and you sigh, wishing that it had some kind of effect.
You were told it was going to make the feelings go away, but you’re just a mess of muddled, swirling thoughts and feelings and memories – no different than you were three hours ago.
“Y/N, I need you to listen to me.” Sam pleads, “You have to understand-”
“You’re too stubborn to make this work.” You hiss, rage blazing through every fibre of your body. You’ve never been so angry in your life.
You stumble over to the bag on the bed, digging through it in hopes of another bottle. No such look, and you’re left with nothing but your thoughts for company.
“It’s not about being stubborn. It’s about keeping you safe because I love you.”
“If you loved me at all, you’d… you’d stay.”
“Don’t go, then.”
Lying back on the bed, your eyes fixate on a small speck of black on the otherwise bland alabaster ceiling. You sigh, closing your eyes.
Bad idea. Your mind floods with images of him. Laughing, crying, smiling, talking, reading. Everything.
“Don’t make this harder than it needs to be.”
“You made it harder.” You choke back a sob, “What happened to forever?”
He looks at you sadly, his eyes brimming with tears that he won’t shed until later, when you can’t see. You know, though.
Where does love go when it’s gone? Does it ever really leave at all? Or does it somehow transfer into other emotions? The fear, anger; sadness. Does that use up the love that once took up such a huge place in your heart? One day, will the cavity replenish itself with fondness? Bitterness?
“See that one up there?”
“Sam, there are billions of them.” You giggle, looking over at him. Your hand wanders over the dewy grass to find his own, and you lace your fingers with his.
“That one. Straight up there, the bright one.”
“Uh… yeah, I see you.” You follow the direction he’s pointing in, grinning.
“That’s our star.” He whispers, “So if we’re ever apart, you look up and so will I, and it can be like we’re together.”
It’s so dark outside; streetlights left off to conserve power in a small town like this. But the star burns bright still, like nothing has ever happened.
“Sam, get your ass back in here. You’ll catch your death.” Dean yells from the warmth of the motel room. His younger brother doesn’t answer, however, still lying on the hood of the Impala and staring at the sky.
Dean hauls himself to his feet and storms out, flinging the door open.
Still, no answer. Dean walks around, hopping up on the hood alongside his brother.
“What you lookin’ at?”
“It was ours,” Sam whispers.
“You and Y/N?” He asks, prompting a nod from his brother. Dean notices the clear tear-tracks down his cheeks and sighs, lying back against the windscreen miserably. Sure, you’d been with Sam, but you were his friend too. His sister in all but blood. He misses you too – the last week has been pure torture for him. It’s been lonely without your laughter and cheerful teasing; your jokes and your reassurances. There’s an empty space in the family now.
“Oh, come on, Sammy. Just call her.”
“She hates me.” He whispers into the night, your words coming back to him.
“I don’t know why I ever bothered loving you, Sam Winchester.” You hiss, your words burdened with unshed tears and anger, “I should have known you’d be so pig-headed and pathetic.”
“No she doesn’t.” Dean states, “She couldn’t hate you.”
“You didn’t hear how she was talking, Dean.” Sam whispers, wiping away tears, “You couldn’t know. She hates me. I could die tomorrow and she wouldn’t care.”
“Not true.” Dean dismisses him, “You were perfect together, okay? I don’t know your reasoning behind all of this and honestly, I don’t care. The fact is, you’ve lost the love of your life and I’ve lost my best friend because of it.”
A shot of guilt rockets through Sam and he sighs, sliding off of the car.
“Tell me what I’m supposed to do.”
“I thought you said you wouldn’t be calling.” You say as soon as the ringing stops. Sam is silent, and you can’t even hear him breathing.
“I know. I lied.”
“Like you did about loving me?”
“Y/N, please.” He whispers, “Don’t.”
“Don’t what? Don’t leave you? Don’t kick you out of the only family you’ve ever known?” You hiss, raking a hand through your hair, “Sam-”
“I was wrong!” He bursts out, “I was so, so wrong Y/N. I don’t… I do… I love you, okay? I always have and I always will. I was trying to keep you safe but… safe is… I don’t know what safe is.”
“Sam, are you drunk?”
“Then get your ass down here so I can… I don’t know. Kick you, kill you, or kiss you. One or the other.” You find yourself laughing, despite the tears running down your face. After reeling off the location, you hang up, your head spinning. Maybe it’s the alcohol, or maybe it’s just hope, but you know one thing.
You thought it was the end, but now you realise… it’s just another beginning.