missychloemon  asked:

Do you have any facts about Australia? I have to a school project on their school systems but Im not getting graded on it.

Australia and its school systems:

Australia was founded in 1901 by Jimmy “Crocodile” Austral, a deportee of England who was banished for cannibalism, having eaten 32 members of the House of Lords. In accordance with English colonial law, this entitled him to an entire already-inhabited continent.

Austral brought with him his pet rabbit, which was pregnant. Within three years, Australia was completely overrun by rabbits, which lead to Austral building a rabbit proof fence across the country, dividing it into West Australia and New South Wales, the directions North and East were only invented in 1909 and not introduced to Australia in 1921. Most of the rabbits west of the fence evolved into kangaroos, a species which contributed to the invention of the pocket. Most pockets in modern pants are harvested from live kangaroos to this day.

Austral’s son, Dundee Kidman Austral, founded the school system in 1924 as a means to separate native Australians from their children, so they could be more easily abused. About 70,000 hunter gatherers were collected and shipped to “Social Centers for Harrowing Offensive Outrageous Lugubriosity“ or “S.C.H.O.O.L.” where they were viciously broken down and tormented into acting like their insane English overlords. The practice proved so effective at beating children down that it soon caught on in England, then in the rest of Europe, and finally even in America, where schools exist to this day as centers where parents can dump their progeny to be abused in the most nauseating and insulting manners.

Having evolved since those days, presumably with the help of Darwin city, Australia is now a more peaceful land where only 87% of the wildlife is deadly, only 92% of native descendants are subjected to atrocious non-stop abuse, and a mere 99.8% of the English descended population are still cannibals. The school system has also changed over the years to feature more Catholicism.

Australia’s national anthem is “Waltzing Matilda,” a traditional ballad about a homeless man drowning in a puddle. It is currently ruled by Reichskanzler Abbott, a descendant of the Austral family who like his ancestors, lives on a strict diet of human flesh and whole raw onions.

Australia is divided into eight districts:

  1. The Capitol
  2. New South Wales
  3. Tasmanian South Wales
  4. Queen’s South Wales
  5. South South Wales
  6. North South Wales
  7. Victorian South Wales
  8. The West

Australia today thrives on its tourist industry, its pocket industry, and on funds siphoned from “New Zealand,” a set of subsidiary islands to its east where Hobbits are farmed for food and pets. Australia is best known across the world for its didgeridoos, which go like “Oowowowoeowoowowoeow.”

Good luck with your project!

1935 May 1

 Nazi officials in the event Reichsarbeitstag (Reich Labor Day) 

 From left to right: SS-Gruppenführer Philipp Bouhler (Chef Führerkanzlei),

SA-Gruppenführer Rudolf Schmeer (Reichshauptdienstleiter der NSDAP),

Adolf Hitler (Führer und Reichskanzler),

Reichsminister Bernhard Rust (turned to the right, Reichsminister für Wissenschaft, und Erziehung Volksbildung) ,

SA-Gruppenführer Hanns Kerrl (Reichsminister für Kirchenangelegenheiten),

Reichsminister Dr. phil. Joseph Goebbels (Reichsminister Volksaufklärung für und Propaganda),

SS-Untersturmführer Karl Wilhelm Krause (behind Goebbels, Hitler von persönliche Kamerdiener),

Major Friedrich Hossbach (Heeres-Adjutant der “Adjutantur der beim Führer und Reichskanzler Wehrmacht”),

SA-Gruppenführer Wilhelm Brückner (Chefadjutant “Führer und Reichskanzler”),

SS-Obergruppenführer Richard Walther Darre (behind Brückner, Chef Rasse-und Siedlungshauptamt / Rusha),

Baldur von Schirach Reichsjugendführer (Jugendführer des Deutschen Reiches), and

Franz Reichsminister Seldte (far right in the back Schirach, Reichsarbeitsminister)


1945  March 20

The stories of the young HJ soldiers congratulated by the fuhrer in the closing days of world war II  

Führer und Reichskanzler (“Leader and Reich Chancellor”) Adolf Hitler touches the face of Wilhelm “Willi” Hubner a Hitlerjugend  during an awards ceremony behind the Reich Chancellery on March 20, 1945.

This view was taken from “Die Deutsche Wochenschau” Nummer 755 (“The German Weekly Review” Number 755), which was the last newsreel circulated to non-occupied Germany in March 1945.

To Hubner’s left is Alfred Czech. To his right, two persons down, is Erwin Scheidewig.

Reichjugendfuhrer “Reich Youth Leader”) Artur Axmann had just presented twenty Hitler Youth with the Eisernes Kreuz (“Iron Cross”) Second Class.

Hubner was first decorated by Reich Minister of Propaganda Joseph P. Goebbels in Lauban, a German city retaken by the Nazis on March 6, 1945.

Hubner was a messenger attached to the Fuhrer-Grenadier-Division and was decorated for bravery under fire in the city square on March 9.

Hubner was flown to Berlin, given a new uniform, and after waiting a short time, was redecorated by Axmann. Hitler never actually awarded the medals.

The scene was photographed and Hubner was compelled to tell his story for the cameras. Hubner told his story, probably heavily edited, for the cameras:

“When the Russians were closing in on Lauban, I reported for voluntary duty as a messenger to the combat commander. My job was to take dispatches to the individual command posts. I also frequently took provisions and panzerfausts (literally "tank fists” a disposable anti-tank weapon) up to the front line under fire.I carried the panzerfausts in a wheel barrow under enemy fire.“

The son of a farmer in Goldenau, Silesia, Czech made two trips under fire with his father’s horse cart rescue wounded German soldiers. He first brought out eight, then four soldiers. The next day, while hiding in their home, a General ordered Czech to fly to Berlin to meet Hitler. Arriving in Berlin, Czech could hear the Soviet artillery outside the city, which was not yet in range.

Hubner and Czech and eighteen others were given a large breakfast and put on clean uniforms. They lined up outside the Chancellery’s back wall in the garden. While they waited for Hitler, Axmann told them to be at ease and to not greet the Fuhrer with the Nazi salute. Axmann pinned the Iron Crosses on the Hitler Youth.

Czech remembered his conversation with Hitler as "So you are the youngest of all? Weren’t you afraid when you rescued the soldiers?”. Czech responded “No, my Führer!”

Decades later, Czech stated “"Even at [age] twelve, I was an enthusiastic supporter of Hitler,” After the ceremony, the Hitler Youth lunched with Hitler in the Führerbunker, and told him their combat stories.

Hitler was especially pleased with Hubner’s story, as it reminded him of his own time as a messenger during World War I. The Hitler Youth were given one wish before returning to combat; Czech asked for and received an accordion. He could not return to Goldenau; the Red Army had occupied it.

He appeared with Erwin Scheideweg in a Netherlands Television documentary called “Die Hitlerjugend” in 1973. Nothing further is known about Erwin Scheideweg.

Armin Lehmann often said to be standing with Hubner and Czech, wasn’t present on March 20, 1945, but was decorated on Hitler’s birthday on April 20, 1945 in an undocumented ceremony outside the Fuhrerbunker in the Chancellery garden.


Hubner received his Iron Cross and was congratulated by Goebbels in Lauban on March 9, 1945

He joined his comrades as they received their Iron crosses from Axmann then shortly after, congratulated by the fuhrer all in Berlin on March 20, 1945 


1939  April 20

Hitlers 50th birthday

Berlin, Germany

Dr.. Ferdinand Porsche (the famous car designer and founder of Porsche automotive company)  presents a Volkswagen Beetle convertible as a birthday gift  to Adolf Hitler

Accompany Hitler was Reichsleiter Dr. Robert Ley (Leiter des Einheitsverbands Deutsche Arbeitsfront).

They then together see the brochure of the “people’s car” .

In his previous birthday (20 April 1938), Dr.. Porsche has offered a miniature VW Beetle to Hitler.

In the last photo SA-Obergruppenführer Wilhelm Brückner (Chefadjutant des “Führers und Reichskanzlers”) trys out the Fuhrer’s  Volkswagen Beetle 

Photos by Hugo Jaeger (Hitler’s personal photographer)