rehabilitation therapy

Why I Love Connor Murphy (and why his character isn’t an innocent one)

Hello y’all, I’ve seen Too Much discourse in the DEH fandom recently on the part of people liking Connor and not liking Alana and Zoe enough, so here’s some of my thoughts on the matter (in no perfectly organized order) as well as some headcanons that I have which are supported by evidence in the show.

Connor Murphy was clearly a deeply fucked up kid. Signs of different mental illnesses should have been abundantly clear to his parents from the get-go, but they obviously weren’t (outward violent aggression towards teachers, isolation of himself from other peers, etc.) Connor was clearly crying for help in the only way that he could, through violence, and it’s clear that his dad was resistant to putting him into therapy. Then, (I’m assuming in middle school/early high school) he got into hard drugs (which ones we’re never explicitly told) and attempted suicide. Finally, after that, he goes to rehab, but the ride isn’t over yet. 

Zoe mentions him banging on her door threatening to kill her for ‘no reason.’ so we can assume some things.

1. Connor was either high or mid-manic episode.
2. He did not have full control of his actions.

This, of course, could never excuse abusive behavior, but it does explain it and gives room for us to assume that this was before rehab. After rehab, he comes back to school, and I’m going to assume that though he had gotten better, he wasn’t quite good enough. He started self medicating with pot and other less harmful/addictive drugs (”I don’t want you going to school high, Connor.” the way this line is delivered makes me assume that Mrs. Murphy knows Connor smokes pot and cares but only in the context of school.) to try and calm his depression/bipolar/psychotic NOS (I believe he was schizophrenic.)

Connor Murphy was not excusable in his actions, but I love him because he was a tragic character who reminds me of myself. And besides, none of the characters in this show are perfect.

Now, getting to Connor’s mental state during the week that he killed himself:

Very up and down, we see him being nice to Evan (signing his cast, laughing with him, etc.) in one scene, but in the next he sees Zoe’s name and instantly becomes extremely paranoid/panicked because he thinks that Evan is out to get him. He’s constantly worried about being labeled a “freak” (due to constant bullying from almost everyone.) And he keeps the note for two days in his pocket (not at school) and kills himself with it still there. 

Connor Murphy was mentally ill and his mom was the only one who gave very much of a shit about it (Zoe did too, I think, but she didn’t know how to deal with it.) and that’s all, Connor Murphy deserves our love not because he was a good or nice character, but because he had the potential to be. 

I mean, imagine if he had been properly rehabilitated and continued therapy? 

we need to end the police. like: disarm, destroy, end. they need to be put on a list of people who can never own guns, they need to under go rehabilitative therapy, we need new methods of communal security. there are no good cops. not even your daddy or brother or uncle. if we don’t put them down we need to at least remove all their weapons and all their institutional power.

anonymous asked:

I think it would be super cool to read a fanfic about Bughead meeting at like a support group for depression/self harm. Maybe they were friends when they were little and Jughead transferred schools and they haven't talked since and they catch up and then support each other through their issues :)

Ooohhh I love this idea! You’re so awesome anonymouse 🐭

“Are you sure you want to do this Elizabeth, you understand this is your choice correct?” Alice Cooper was gripping the steering wheel so tight Betty was sure she was going to rip into the leather.

“Yes mom. This is.. I have to.. if this works..I’m running out of options.” The beautiful blonde passenger whispered, voice closing with unrestrained anxiety.

Alice barely spared her a glance
“If you feel this is a positive thing then go on, why you can’t just stop that nasty habit of cutting yourself up I’ll never understand but since this is what the family counselor suggested I suppose I have no option. Go on and spread our dirty laundry to the world.” She hissed out bitterly.

Sighing silently, Betty reached over and pressed a kiss to her moms cheek.
“I’ll see you in an hour.” She stepped out of the car, her shoulders releasing pent up tension. She would definitely be driving herself here from now on.

“Had to hitch a ride with the slave driver too huh?”

Turning around at the unfamiliar voice, Betty came face to face with a beautiful African American girl, short brown hair and dark eyes, the gorgeous stranger stuck her hand out

“I’m maya, it’s nice to meet you.”

As soon as Betty reached for her hand Maya snapped it back, her whole body jerking forward causing Betty to stiffen instinctually.

“I’m so sorry! I have Tourette’s, I probably should have told you that first. Really I’m so sorry!” She shoved her hands in her pockets and made to scurry forward, but not before Betty’s hand reached out and gripped her forearm.

“I’m Betty Cooper. it’s nice to meet you too.” She gently smiled and began walking in sync with her new friend.

“You’re new here, first days can be a little intimidating but stick by me in group and I won’t let anyone mess with you.” The taller girl smiled proudly, yelping on a twitch before she draped an arm over Betty’s shoulders and pulled her into the building.

As soon as the two girls walked in Betty felt her panic rise, there were chairs set up in a circle around a desk, almost all were taken except a scattered few, teenagers her age were all talking to each other and all Betty wanted to do was run right back out the front door, maybe her mother was right, maybe this wasn’t a good idea, there were way too many people, too much judgment.

“Hi! Elizabeth right?” A middle aged woman with a short pixie cut and see through blue eyes approached her, gripping her hand and shaking it aggressively “we are so excited to have you at Helping Hearts Rehabilitation Therapy Class, my name is Rosa and I run the therapy sessions here! I think you’ll fit in just fine, Why don’t you take a seat with Maya right up front, were about to start group therapy.” The frantic older woman squeezed Betty in a jug before rushing off somewhere else.

Maya grabbed her hand, rolling her eyes
“Rosa can be a little much but she’s all heart, you’ll get to know her better in individual sessions.” She dropped down on a plastic, blue seat and patted the one beside her as Betty delicately sat down.

Betty took a moment to glance around the room, it was an eclectic mix, people covered in scars, people crying on their own, others texting on their phones angrily while some looked about as nervous as she felt, suddenly she felt an itch on the side of her head, it slowly turned into a burning and she glanced to her right, her eyes going wide at what she saw.

A beautiful boy, something right out of a 1950s greaser catalogue. He had thick, wavy black hair, slightly covered by a crooked beanie, he wore a worn in leather jacket and combat boots, his skin tanned and dirty, he had pouty lips with a natural red Betty would have killed for, the most surprising part about him though? His piercing stormy blue eyes, eyes that were currently burning into her as he stared openly.

“That’s Jughead Jones, he doesn’t talk much all we know is that he has to be here, mandatory from his therapist, rumor has it he tried to run his motorcycle off a cliff… on purpose.” Maya whispered close to her, making Betty shudder.

The boy didn’t look away not even when Betty caught his eyes, he must think she was the absolute definition of lame.

Betty had on a soft long sleeved cardigan covering up the scars littering her arms, the cotton baby blue dress she wore underneath had a peter pan collar and it matched her tiny blue ballet flats, her hair was pulled back into an exceptionally tight ponytail and her light pink lips were painted the familiar shade of “perfectly pink.”

“Okay everyone! I want to introduce you all to our newest member, Elizabeth Cooper.”
Rosa spoke from the front of the room, drawing Betty’s eyes away from the staring contest she and this Jughead Jones seemed to be having. She snapped forward, Maya nudged her with a grin as a particularly vicious twitch shook her body.

Betty smiled softly
“Hello, I actually go by Betty.” She offered gently, her honey sweet voice was soothing and like always everyone was instantly taken by the blonde haired angel.

“Well Betty, we usually start by asking, now I know this may seem a little invasive but it’s good to break it down immediately, do you mind telling us what brought you here today?”

Betty’s eyes widened as her fingers dug into her palms, searching frantically for a way out.

“NO.” She shouted, louder than she had planned
“No, no I can’t.. I can’t talk about it. I don’t.. I don’t talk about that!” She begged, moving to stand as Maya placed a comforting hand to her shoulder. Betty’s eyes were still looking around, their had to be a way out!

Suddenly her sea green eyes landed on Jugheads rainy blue ones, he gazed deeply into her face a meaningful look playing on his features, and just like that her heart stopped racing, she was able to find air and she slowly settled into the seat

“I’m sorry… I’m so sorry, I’m just.. I’m not quite ready to talk about that yet, maybe next week.” She plastered on her award winning smile as she patted Maya’s hand in gratitude, Rosa fell for the picture perfect smile and she nodded reassuringly

“Of course, our past does tend to get most of us riled up. Perhaps next time.” With that the older woman went on with the session, an hour later Betty had learned about the multiple different struggles some of her peers had gone through, while she was sure that by having them share she was supposed to feel better but now she felt even more weighed down by the burden. These people had been through so much, she carried their pain on her back as if it was her own, that’s who Betty Cooper was, unapologetically selfless.

Maya was putting her number in Betty’s phone and swinging her backpack over her shoulder
“I’ll text you tonight, set up plans, catch ya after doll.” She blew a dramatic kiss towards Betty before skipping out the room.

Betty smiled with a shake of her head as she continued packing up her backpack, it had taken her longer than she expected and by the time she was done the entire room was empty even Rosa had left.

“You okay?”

The low timber of an unfamiliar voice had Betty nearly jumping out of her skin, she whipped around to see Jughead standing behind her, a smirk on his face, leaning against a chair with crossed arms, he looked like the sexiest Rebel Without A Cause Betty had ever seen.

“Me? Oh yeah, of course! I’m fine.” The blonde shifted uncomfortably in her shoes as he continued to stare at her “a little stressful sure, I lost my cool in here today, it won’t happen again.” She wasn’t sure who she was assuring, the boy in front of her or herself.

“Why not? You didn’t wanna talk about. You don’t have to do anything you don’t want too.” He shrugged lazily, his eyes drifting to her arms.

Betty smiled a soft tilt of her lips
“Sometimes though, you have to talk about it.. or it never goes away.”

Taking a step towards her Jughead lifted her hands in his her palms flat up as he stared at the moon shaped scars littering her soft skin.

Betty gasped and ripped her hands free, laying them flat on her sides

Jughead smiled again, this time a sad, understanding smile

“It never goes away. No matter what we do.” He whispered, his face dangerously close to hers.

“But we try anyway” betty responded “so we beat on, boats against the current.” She quoted.

Jughead smirked
“I didn’t take you for a F. Scott Fitzgerald fan, although you look the part.. daisy.”

Betty rolled her eyes taking a step away from him and turning her back to him, heading for the door, a mysterious smile on her lips.

“There’s a lot you don’t know about me Jughead Jones.” The door closed shut, leaving Jughead alone in the dark warehouse. Running a hand over his face he couldn’t shake the smile from his lips

“Shit” he mumbled

He was in deep trouble.

anonymous asked:

I think they were asking what subjects or majors you would see the labels you have studying in school !!

thank you !!! since there wasn’t any labels specifically mentioned, i just did a few different ones. but really, any label could do any major if you want them to !! it all depends on your character’s personal interests, which may or may not reflect their label !! i found it difficult to do it for labels based on personality, as opposed to interests. such as the vixen, the connard, etc !! i honestly feel as though any label could very well be interested in completing any major, if the interest is there !! if you have any questions about why i chose the major’s i did for a particular label, feel free to ask !!! i understand that some of the reasoning might not be as easily understood without an explanation !! all of the following majors were found from the following websites:  this, this, this, this. i also found a lot of major’s that i couldn’t fit into each of the labels, so if anyone wants a full masterlist of college major’s, let me know !! 

  • the academic — education, bilingual education, early childhood education, elementary school teaching, high school teaching, middle school teaching, teacher assistant, teaching english as a second language
  • the activist — history, journalism, peace/conflict studies, political science, women/gender studies, philosophy, non-profit management, speech and rhetorical studies, ethnic/cultural minority and group studies, human rights, 
  • the artisan — dance, ballet, fine/studio art, graphic design, interior design, music, arts management, english/writing, architecture, construction management, visual studies, arts and entertainment management, photography, performing arts, 
  • the anthomaniac ( + animal lovers ) — environmental science, forest management, biology, fisheries and wildlife, marine science, pre-veterinary medicine, parks, recreation and leisure studies, animal science, oceanography, 
  • the astrophile — astronomy, astronomy and astrophysics, atmospheric sciences and meteorology, space systems operations, physics, planetary astronomy and science, astrophysics. 
  • the athlete — sport management, exercise science, nutrition science, rehabilitation and therapy, sports medicine, health and physical fitness, physical education teaching and coaching, sports communication.
  • the bellwether — apparel/textile design, fashion design, fashion merchandising, business, marketing, fashion modelling, fashion and fabric consultation, theater design and stagecraft, design and visual communications, costume design. 
  • the benevolent — allied health, nursing, emergency management, public health, psychology, midwifery, rehabilitation and therapy, social work, long term care administration.
  • the bibliomaniac — english/writing, education, history, journalism, language studies, children and youth library services, library and information sciences.
  • the dirtbag ( + hoyden ) — automotive technology, automotive engineering technology, vehicle maintenance and repair technologies, automotive-body technology.
  • the ecclesiastic —  religious studies, religious education, bible studies, religion and the humanities, christian studies. 
  • the epicure — culinary arts, food science, nutritional science, food chemistry, foods, nutrition and wellness studies, restaurant and food services management, restaurant and culinary management, hotel, motel and restaurant management. 
  • the fervour/quixotic — romance languages dual major, romance languages and the literature, 
  • the guardian — public health, criminology, emergency management, legal studies, crimonology, law enforcement investigation and interviewing, police science, criminal justice, social work.
  • the gregarious — hospitality management, marketing and sales, business administration and management, psychology, human resources, public relations management, physical therapy, general management, 
  • the hacker — video game design, web design/digital media, computer science, software engineering, computer programming, computer systems analysis. 
  • the magnate — business/finance, hospitality management, economics, international relations, business management administration, accounting, investment and securities, human resources, international business, sales and marketing, 
  • the muso — music management and merchandising, conducting, music teacher education, music theory and composition, music performance, music theory, jazz studies. 
  • the netizen — video game design, web design/digital media, computer science, film/broadcast, game and interactive media design, computer graphics, graphic design, robotics technology. 
  • the phoenix — legal studies, social work, youth services, student counselling, psychology, criminology, counseling psychology, human services, premedicine, sociology, community psychology.
  • the savant ( + maths ) — mathematics, accounting, biology, chemistry, materials science, imaging science, computer science, energy science, marine science, applied science.
  • the thespian — film/broadcast, cinema and media studies, film production, film studies, performing arts, drama and dance teacher education, musical theatre, theatre art, acting.
  • the traveler — recreation and tourism management, international studies, language studies, international relations, geography, geographical studies, global studies, international business, tourism and travel management. 
  • the writer — creative writing, american/british/canadian literature, english, english composition, general literature, languages, classics, library and information science, comparative literature.  
What your asking has a price, continuation.

Joker X Harley/Reader Fan Fiction. Jared Leto Joker. WARNING- smut, sexual themes.

Plot: Harley isn’t take the jokers shit anymore.

Is it safe to say this took too long? Well I’m working on the last part today so hopefully it’s out? Maybe I’m a slacker who works two day jobs.


It had been a week later and the Joker had killed 7 inmates and 2 guards. He was putting you threw a world of hurt as well. Even with your fact filled reports, it didn’t matter now. What mattered was the Joker didn’t show any signs of rehabilitation in your care. Your boss now demanded that you calm him down from his killing spree. If you could show him being well behaved for once, your job would remain secured. Maybe even get a raise if he was calm enough to lower his security level by taking more guards off of him. I would sure lower the asylum’s budget.

You haven’t seen him in a week though, you haven’t the courage or the strength to look him in eyes after your last session. You avoided walking past his cell. You parked your car on the other side of the asylum just so he couldn’t see you through his window; And after all the recent killings you were sure he had done it because of you’re absence. All the other inmates he killed were your only other patients. As for the guards, well it was no secret they liked you. They most likely shot their mouths off about you in front of the Joker.

Even with the flattery of possession, you still didn’t want to see him. How could you give a man like him any more of your attention. The thought of being possessed the way you were, scares you. The thrill and the ecstasy rushing threw your blood just thinking about his dangerous touch. You could still feel his eyes burning into the back of your retinas. You could still taste him and feel him inside you. .

You look up from your folded arms against your desk. You have collapsed there with full intentions to not get up. Staring at the single red rose across from you. Every day you would reserve one in the morning, and every afternoon you would throw it away. Today this one had a note attached.

I must see you, Mister J .

You squint at the note. He just happened to send you this note on the day you finally decided to go see him for a session. A day your most vulnerable. You have to find someway to convinces him to behave, and hopefully he liked you enough to not ask another favor.

You push at the glass holding the rose till it slide across the desk and into the trash can with a loud smacking sound. You huffed and looked up at the clock, 4:45… Were you really considering this?

You stand up, brushing off your coat. Well, what could he really do to you. He would be locked up in that straitjacket. At least you could try to calm him.

You run your hand threw your hair; trying to calm yourself. You jump at the sound of your office door opening suddenly and see the joker being pushed in backwards before the door slammed shut.

His back is too you now. He must not be aware that your there considering you haven’t shown up in a week. He seemed to be unmoved by anything. Just stuck there in a slump position of disappointment. He was in his straitjacket and Arkham issued pants just barely hanging off his hips. He looked more delicious then you remembered. How could you overlook the way he holds himself before.

“Um… Mister Joker?” Your voice broke his intense stance. He turned to looked slightly puzzled and then amused. He walked slowly up to the desk before taking a seat and you became suddenly very nervous being this close again.

“Doctor,” he smiled. “You came” he exhaled. He seemed so relieved to see you.

“Well I couldn’t let you keep killing the inmates,” you added in a very serious tone.

“ I was worried you found another inmate to get personal with,” he made a crude gesture with his mouth and hand; letting out his trademark laugh.

He really knew how to destroy a moment. Take all the seriousness from the room and murder it. You just wanted to help people, not be the jokers conjugal visit. You try to find yourself but he cuts you off by making another salty joke. Then another. You didn’t think it would get under your skin but it did. Every joke became more rude and more hurtful.

How dare he insult you like that, this whole thing was some kind of game to him? Your were just another toy for the joker, another person to which he would poke at till they went crazy too.

The way he treated you made you feel different, you thought he was really opening up to you. You thought you were special to the joker. But your not. This was your job, your livelihood. Unlike the joker this was all very personal. He may not care about therapy or rehabilitation but this was your life calling; you loved doing this. And your not going to let this impossible case like the Joker who you already determined wasn’t even insane to push you out of your job. He wasn’t going to take this from you. You have to put your foot down.

“Look,” you snap. Taking in a gulp of air. “ I’m going to get fired if you don’t stop killing people, you’re supposed to be getting rehabilitated, remember? Instead of making my job easier; you’ve only made it harder,” you explain. “ Didn’t we make a deal?”

“So? What does it matter to me pretty,” he leaned towards you and let out a snarl. His eyes fixed on something far away. He was clearly aroused at this point. He looked almost completely glazed over with lust.

“I need you to pretend to be rehabilitated, I need you to act normal,” and with that the Joker froze at your statement, retracting his finger from your lip and looking disappointed in you. He almost looked like a kicked puppy for a moment before retaining some composer. He was trying to manipulate you again.

“… Your asking another hard thing for me to do for you. I expect to be paid first,” he turned to look away. He seemed completely uninterested now. Withdrawn into his own little psychotic world again before turning back at you. He had a shit eating grin if you ever saw one. And he really thought he was going to get his way again.

“No,” you have never said a one syllable word with such force. This left the joker with a shocked look on his face before you continued.

“If you want to have sessions with me ever again, your going to do what I asked! This is my price now! You think I like coming in here and being made fun of? You think I care who you kill after I’m gone? Your not insane, your just a prick!”

Your whole body was shaking with adrenaline. You were so mad and you could feel your cheeks burning red. Your vision was blurring and you knew this was the time to show him you meant what you said. Don’t give him a chance to break you down, leave.

You slam your palms down the the table to lift yourself up. You look down at him, straight in the eyes as you roughly push his file to the side of your desk and into the trash. He still has the look of shock on his face with a little quivering smirk at the end.

You storm around your desk and when he try’s to stand you push him back into his chair before reaching the door and banging on it loudly.

“I’m done in here, let me out!” You breath in hard, knowing you can’t go back from this. It was going to work or you were going back to your last job.

The guards weren’t fast enough because without warning the joker had you pressed against the door. His mouth on your neck, breathing hot, his hips firmly planted on your ass. His strong frame making sure your not going anywhere.

“You think you can just leave?” The joker warned; looking into your eyes. But you were not going to back down. You dug your heal into his foot right as the guards opening the door and you quickly made your escape. You stuffed as fast as you could down the hall and You could still hear the joker screaming. You had successfully pissed off the joker. Now what?

sketcheraserepeat  asked:

George's own love for the BatB trope and admission to playing with the Sansan ship in canon have given a lot of people hope for its success (myself included). My biggest fear is that the real beauty of the ship, in George's way, will be its tragic end. Not that it may not be fully realized by the characters in question (which would be devastating), but that one or both may die (perhaps for the other). Do you think there's a possibility that this is how George may play out Sandor and Sansa's arc?

Yeah, I too have a lot of hope for the ship, as you may know (see these posts for more, in case you or others don’t). And yes, I also have that hope tempered by a fear of a tragic ending… and unfortunately GRRM’s tendencies make that fear very pressing sometimes. Also, for all the foreshadowing suggesting a Sandor/Sansa reunion and potential culmination of the ship, there isn’t enough saying there must be a Happily Ever After. GRRM doesn’t really do Happily Ever Afters. He’s a romantic, yes, but not a romance novel writer. Chivalric romance very often involves relationships that can never be, through death or other tragedies. And GRRM’s most famed Beauty and the Beast romance ended with the beauty’s tragic death. :(  (Note he has a recent interview talking about that, where he says her death was the best dramatic way to handle the actress leaving the show, but continuing the show afterwards didn’t really work.)

So… is there a possibility of a tragic ending for sansan? Well… there’s lots of possibilities of all kinds of things. Is it a strong probability of it happening? I really couldn’t say as yet, honestly we need to see Sandor again in the books, actively involved in the story, to be able to properly judge where his arc is going. (Since right now, by some opinions he has as good as a happily ever after as one could expect in ASOIAF, a therapy and rehabilitation island designed specifically for him.) Though for what it’s worth, I am very confident that Sansa will live with as close to a happy ending (with some bittersweetness) as GRRM will give her. And Sandor, it would seem repetitive to almost kill him, bring him back, and then kill him again for real this time, right? (Even if he dies in Sansa’s service, protecting her.) So… we’ll just have to see. Ask me again after we finally get TWOW, won’t you?

Happy Birthday, Cam'ron!

Cameron Ezike Giles (born February 4, 1976), better known by his stage name Cam'ron (formerly Killa Cam), is an American rapper and actor from Harlem, New York City, NY. He is the de facto leader of East Coast Hip-hop groups The Diplomats (also known as Dipset), and The U.N. (Us Now).

Cameron Giles was born and raised in Harlem, New York. He went to school at Manhattan Center for Science and Mathematics, where he would meet his long time friends Mase and Jim Jones. He was a promising basketball player alongside Mase, however, he was unable to take advantage of scholarship offers due to his poor academic standing. He instead enrolled in a college in Texas, even without graduating from high school, but soon dropped out and returned to Harlem where he began selling drugs before starting his rap career. He began his musical career in the mid 1990s, rapping alongside Big L, Mase and his cousin Bloodshed in a group called Children of the Corn. However, after Bloodshed’s death in a car accident in 1997, the group disbanded and the remaining members continued solo careers.

Two years before Big L’s murder in 1999, Cam'ron was introduced to The Notorious B.I.G. by Mase who was signed to Bad Boy Records at the time. Biggie was so impressed by Cam'ron that he introduced him to his partner Lance “Un” Rivera who signed Cam'ron to his Untertainment label, distributed by Epic Records. His debut album, Confessions of Fire, was released in a year later, July 1998 and included singles such as “3-5-7” (which was also featured in the movie Woo), and “Horse and Carriage” featuring Mase which reached the R&B Top Ten and just missed out on reaching the pop Top 40. The album achieved gold status and made the Top 10 of both the pop and R&B charts.

In 2000, Cam'ron was working with music executive Tommy Mottola and released his second album S.D.E. (Sports Drugs & Entertainment) on Sony/Epic Records. With features from Destiny’s ChildJuelz SantanaJim JonesN.O.R.E., and producer Digga, it included the relatively successful singles, “Let Me Know” and “What Means The World To You”. The album reached Number 2 on the R&B/Hip-Hop Albums chart, and Number 14 on the Billboard 200.

After demanding a release from Sony/Epic Records, Cam'ron signed with his childhood friend and new manager Damon Dash to Roc-A-Fella Records in 2001, alongside artists such as Jay-ZBeanie SigelFreeway and Memphis Bleek. A reported $4.5 million record deal was agreed upon with and Damon Dash and his Roc-A-Fella partners Kareem Biggs and Jay-Z in the form of a record advance.[3] His third and most successful album Come Home With Me was released in 2002 featuring guests such as Jay-ZBeanie Sigel, andMemphis Bleek, and production from Just BlazeKanye West and The Heatmakerz. It included the hit singles “Oh Boy” and “Hey Ma”, which both featured The Diplomats newest member and protégé, Juelz Santana. The album achieved platinum status and served as a stepping stone for Cam'ron’s group The Diplomats to sign with Roc-A-Fella.

In 2003 Cam'ron teamed up with his fellow Diplomats Members Jim JonesJuelz Santana, and Freekey Zeeky to release the Diplomats’ debut double disc album, Diplomatic Immunity, in 2003 under Roc-A-Fella/Diplomat Records, which was quickly certified gold by the RIAA. The album featured the lead single “Dipset Anthem,” a remix to Cam'rons hit “Hey Ma” and the (street anthem) single “I Really Mean It,” as well as boasting production from Kanye WestJust Blaze, and The Heatmakerz. A year later, the Diplomats released their second album, Diplomatic Immunity 2. Although not as successful as their debut, it still was boosted to gold status. Around this time in the height of his mainstream fame, Cam'ron was known for popularizing the color pink. During this period, Cam'ron was always seen wearing pink clothing and even bought an all pink Range Rover which can be seen in his video for “Killa Cam”. Cam'ron’s fourth studio album, Purple Haze, was released on December 7, 2004 on Def Jam/Roc-A-Fella Records. It featured collaborations withKanye WestJaheimTwistaJuelz Santana, and various other artists and ultimately reached gold status. The album was also a critical success, being ranked 114th on Pitchfork Media’s Top 200 Albums of the first decade of the 21st century List, and 10th on Rhapsody’s Hip Hop’s Best Albums Of The Decade List. However, after feeling that the album was poorly promoted and that his projects were not receiving the attention they deserved, Cam'ron requested his release from Roc-A-Fella Records.

On April 28, 2005, Cam'Ron officially joined the Warner Music Group under the Asylum Records imprint. He began work on what would be his first project for the new label. Cam'ron’s fifth studio album, entitled Killa Season, was released on May 16, 2006 featuring production from long term collaborators The Heatmakerz, Charlmagne and Ty Fyffe, as well as others such as Alchemist and I.N.F.O.. Along with the album, Cam'ron released his first film, in which he wrote, directed and starred in, also titled “Killa Season”. Despite selling 112,000 units in the first week and debuting at #2 on the charts, Killa Season failed to have the same sales strength as his two previous releases and failed to reach gold or platinum status quickly, Eventually, Killa Season became certified gold.

After the release of Killa Season and his feud with 50 Cent in 2007, Cam'ron took a three year hiatus from music after his mother suffered three strokes which left her paralyzed on her left side. He moved to Florida with her to set up her rehabilitation and therapy, and stayed there until she had fully recovered. Cam'ron’s 2009 album, Crime Pays was released on Asylum/Diplomat Records, featuring the majority of the production handled by Skitzo and AraabMuzik. Although none of the singles managed to chart, the album still reached Number 3 on the Billboard 200 but only sold 150,000 units, making this the lowest selling album of his career. In 2009 Cam'ron formed a new label, Dipset West, and new group, The U.N..

In late 2009/early 2010, Cam'ron released a series of mixtapes hosted by DJ Drama called “Boss of All Boses” which featured his new upcoming artist Vado. He has also released an album with Vado entitled Cam'ron & The U.N. Presents: “Heat in Here Vol 1; the first single off the album was "Speaking Tongues” which peaked at number 82 on the U.S. R&B charts. Cam'ron announced that he would be releasing a joint album with his new group The U.N.. called “Gunz n’ Butta”. After 3 years Cam'ron & Jim Jones have decided to start working on a third installment of the Diplomatic Immunity album along with other Diplomat artists such as Juelz Santana & Freekey Zekey. Cam'ron announced that the Diplomat album’s release will take place around Christmas 2010. The first single featuring the reunited Diplomat members is called “Salute”. Produced by upcoming Diplomat producer AraabMuzik, the track was rumored to appear on Jim Jones next album Capo. He was featured on the song “The Bluff” off Wiz Khalifa’s second studio album ONIFC. His next studio album Killa Season 2 will be released in 2013. The album will feature guest appearances from Dipset, T.I., Nicki Minaj, and Wiz Khalifa. Prior to that he released a mixtape titled, Ghetto Heaven Vol 1 on October 1, 2013.

In 2003, Cam'ron went on to appear in the Damon Dash produced film, Paid in Full, in which he played one of three main characters alongside Mehki Phifer and Wood Harris. In 2006 started shooting his movie for his album entitled Killa Season, the film would mark both Cam'ron’s screenwriting and directorial debuts, as well as his return to acting. Killa Season was released to DVD on April 25, 2006, after a special two-day theatrical release.

Although there had been rumors of a beef between the two emcees, Cam'ron went public first with a track on “Killa Season” called “You Gotta Love It (Jay-Z Diss)” featuring ex-Dipset member Max B. In the song, Cam'ron takes jabs at Jay-Z’s age, his alleged “biting” (stealing) of lyrics, and his current girlfriend. He references Jay-Z using The Notorious B.I.G.’s rhymes, rapping “You ain’t the only one with big wallets got it my shit’s brolick but ya publishing should go to Miss Wallace.” He then released another song “Swagger Jacker (Biter Not a Writer)” to highlight the many songs Jay-Z has borrowed lines from. In the next issue of XXL, Cam'ron explained the beef originated when Jay-Z became CEO and President of Roc A Fella Records. In 2010 Cam'ron stated he does not have any issues with Jay-Z anymore.

On February 1, 2007, Cam'ron and 50 Cent had a live argument on The Angie Martinez Show on Hot 9 radio. 50 Cent commented that Koch Entertainment was a “graveyard”, meaning major record labels would not work with their artists. Cam'ron then ridiculed the record sales of G-Unit members Lloyd Banks and Mobb Deep by stating that Jim Jones outsold their albums despite being signed to an independent label and that his group, The Diplomats, had a distribution deal from several labels. Both rappers released “diss” songs with videos on YouTube. 50 Cent suggested in “Funeral Music” that Cam'ron is no longer able to lead The Diplomats and that Jim Jones should take his place. Cam'ron responded with “Curtis” and “Curtis Pt. II”, in which he makes fun of 50 Cent’s appearance, calling him “a gorilla, with rabbit teeth”. 50 Cent responded by releasing “Hold On” with Young Buck. Since 2009, the feud between the two has seemed to calm down.

During this time Cam'ron was not speaking to his fellow Diplomat members Juelz Santana and Jim Jones, leading to speculation that the group had broken up. However, despite admitting that he did not want to contact Jim Jones, he said that he had no hard feelings towards him. In an interview with Miss Info, Cam'ron said: “I still haven’t spoken to Jim. But Jim ran with me for over 10 years, he worked hard, and I wish him the best of luck. Everybody thinks I’m mad at Jim. Why am I mad? I told people for years that Jimmy was gonna be a star. So its better on my resume. I wish him the best.” But After three years of not speaking, Cam'ron and Jim Jones mended their differences in April 2010. In late 2011, both appeared together on Wolfgang Gartner’s album Weekend in America, on the track “Circus Freaks.”

After it was evident to the fans that The Diplomats had separated and were no longer on speaking terms, Cam'ron explained in an interview that he was scared for Juelz Santana stating he was “addicted to the drink Sizzurp” and even talked to his mother about his possible “addiction”. Juelz Santana responded back by asking why Cam'ron would say false accusations. Additionally, with The Diplomats seeming to be broken up and diminished, Cam'ron decided to sell Juelz Santana’s contract from Diplomat Records to Def Jam Records for $2,000,000. However, Juelz Santana said there were no hard feelings between the two and that they have since reconciled.

Both Cam'ron and Jim Jones took out their frustrations on former label-mate Kanye West in defense of former CEO Dame Dash by releasing a song entitled “Toast” rhyming over Kanye West’s song “Runaway”. Saying “And Kanye, you a sucker nigga / Dissed Dame, so my attitude is "fuck a nigga” / Sucka Jigga how you gone live with that / Took ya beat now come get it back". Despite this diss-track, when asked in an interview on Hot 97 with Funkmaster Flex of his take on the subject, Kanye responded by saying “Man, you don’t understand how much I love Dipset. But it’s so necessary; Dipset is so necessary. ”Additionally, Kanye said he understands that people do not agree with the way he does certain things and he, himself, does not even agree with some of the stuff he’s done. Currently, neither Cam'ron nor Jim Jones have responded back. The feud has later ended, since Cam'ron, Jim Jones, and Kanye West collaborated on a song called “Christmas in Harlem”.

On October 23, 2005, Cam'ron was leaving a nightclub in Washington D.C., having performed the day before at Howard University. While stopped at a traffic light at the intersection of New York and New Jersey Avenue shortly after midnight, a passenger of a nearby car threatened Cam'ron to “give up” his 2006 Lamborghini. Cam'ron resisted, and the man then shot him. Cam'ron was struck at least once as he was holding the steering wheel, but he was able to drive, going the wrong way on streets and flashing his lights, until a fan drove him to Howard University Hospital. The gunman and passenger fled and crashed into a parked car and fled the scene. D.C. Metro Police recovered a cell phone from the scene of the crash, which they tried to use to trace the suspects. He stated that he does not know who shot him.

On April 22, 2007, Cam'ron was interviewed on 60 Minutes as part of a piece on the Stop Snitchin' movement. He also stated that he would “not help the police” try to locate the shooter saying he is “not a snitch” and helping the police would probably hurt his record sales. He stated in the interview, “Because with the type of business I’m in, it would definitely hurt my business. And the way that I was raised, I just don’t do that. I was raised differently, not to tell…It’s about business but it’s still also a code of ethics”“ When asked by Anderson Cooper if he would tell the police if a serial killer was living next to him, Cam'ron replied "I would probably move,” but would not inform the police.

After the 60 Minutes interview aired, Cam'ron received a lot of media criticism for his statements.

Cam'ron later issued an apology for his comments, calling it an “error in judgement”: "Where I come from, once word gets out that you’ve cooperated with the police that only makes you a bigger target of criminal violence. That is a dark reality in so many neighborhoods like mine across America. I’m not saying its right, but its reality. And it’s not unfounded. There’s a harsh reality around violence and criminal justice in our inner cities.“ Cam'ron has had contact with the police in the past. According to The Smoking Gun, New York Police Department records indicate that Giles filed a police report with police after he was assaulted at a park in Harlem in 1999.

For my personal sake I’m going to assume that Akechi is alive and although incarcerated in the Velvet Room, is getting some form of rehabilitation and therapy there (before returning him to the world)

Y’know, because the Metaverse. Potentially it is a pretty fantastic tool for such. Besides True!Igor and Lavenza kind of owe it to this kid who they (however indirectly) failed by dismissing right off the bat

Visiting Your Shark Tank

I went with my family on a boat, into the middle of the ocean.
I squeezed my body into a wetsuit, and hauled a tank of air over my shoulders.
We slowly lowered ourselves into the water and descended with our hands on a rope.
When we got to the bottom, we found you smiling despite the saltwater in your lungs.
We swam together.
We pretended that we understood what it was like in the iron bars of that shark tank.
Then when the weekend had passed and the saltiness of the depths became too much for our eyes,
We brought you back to that cage
And left you without a suit, or a tank, or a rope,
So we could return to the surface.
Thank god we took some of our air with us,
Without it we would never have been able to breathe.
How do you hold your breath?
How do you feel, knowing we have air and you do not?
My mother asked me if I was sure I wanted to go out diving next time.
She thought the salt hurt my eyes too much.
Of course it did.
No one is meant to stay under water.
But I have to see you,
And you are trapped there.
You live in the ocean
Where you say the view is beautiful
But I know you cannot breathe.

- Kal Jacob

Children With a Propensity for Petty Fights

Day 2: Going Gray - “Everyone Knows Parenting Causes Premature Aging”. 

“It’s been a while since we last saw the boys. I wonder how they’re coping with their new bodies,” Riza said as they approached the Rockbell property.

Roy responded with a non-committal hum, followed by a sigh.

“I wonder how Winry and Pinako are doing,” she glanced at Roy who was shrugging lazily.

The last time she heard from Pinako, Edward was just getting started with therapy and rehabilitation to help him get used to his automail. She wondered what type of specialised combat training she and Roy would have to propose to help get him into fighting shape. Surely, a boy his age wouldn’t know how to fight and trump an adversary.

When she entered the Rockbell property, she realised that she couldn’t be more wrong. Edward and Alphonse were rough-housing, no, sparring. Alphonse’s movements were slightly clunky and Edward could afford to improve his reflexes, but they were definitely skilled. She turned to assess Roy’s reaction and sure enough, he too was surprised by this development.

The front door of the house burst open and out came Winry, equipped with her wrench, ready to fling it at anyone she saw fit to. Edward immediately notices her and pulls Alphonse away from the house with him. He was too late. The wrench landed squarely on his head.

“Winry, what did you do that for?”

“I told you not to go anywhere before I was done greasing your automail. I leave the room for FIVE MINUTES and here you are sparring,” she was talking so quickly that Riza almost didn’t catch what she was saying.

“You took too long!”

“I did not!”




“Children, please, tell papa what’s wrong,” Roy’s voice was loud but it sounded more like teasing than scolding.

“Roy, I really don’t think you should-”

“Come, shake hands with each other!” he was starting to sound patronising.

“Roy, I’m warning you…”

“Once you’ve kissed and made up, we can all go out for ice-cream.”

Riza clapped her palm over her face.



Before Riza could protest, Edward and Winry started fighting with each other. Roy tried to pull them apart and got caught up in the fight too. Riza was sure that Roy was the one getting hit the most out of all of them. She tried to internalise a scream but it came out as a stream of garbled noises. She wasn’t paid nearly enough for this. She heard the clinking of Alphonse’s armour and turned to see him enter the house. Soon after, he came out with Pinako. Instead of trying to stop the fight, she sauntered up to Riza and stood next to her.

“I’m going to go gray at this rate,” Riza said dryly.

“Already there, sweetheart,” she patted Riza’s hand before raising her voice, “Alright, anyone who doesn’t stop fighting right now is not getting any dinner.”

Edward’s fist froze merely milimetres away from Roy’s face.


“Thank you for the food,” Edward and Winry said glumly

Roy was lying on the couch, groaning with every breath he took. He had a black eye and a swollen jaw, not to mention the variety of bruises he had all over him caused by Edward stepping on him at one point. Riza smiled sardonically at him, then picked up a bowl of stew and joined him in the living room. She helped him up so he was propped up against her and started feeding him.

“I told you not to get involved,” she teased.

“What? Both of them punched me in the ears I BELIEVE I CAN’T HEAR YOU.”

“How childish,” Edward muttered.

“I’m sorry, boy, what was that?” Roy demanded.


“Oh, because you are such an adult,” Winry rolled her eyes at him.

“Why you-”

“Okay, enough. If you don’t stop fighting, we’re both going to stop feeding you!” Pinako bellowed, “Now, what must you say?”

“Sorry,” Edward mumbled, getting him a spoonful of stew from Alphonse as a reward.

“Sorry,” Winry mumbled back at him.

Masterlist: College Majors || 300+ Followers Gift

Under the cut you will find some college majors. I’ve seen that a lot of roleplays is based around college and have the option in the apps to choice the characters major. I did an occupations list which could help as well. This is also a big big big thank you for the 300+ followers. Please like or reblog if you find it helpful. 

Keep reading

Can you imagine what our country would be like if everyone had access to quality, affordable mental health services, vaccinations, preventative medicine, drug treatment, desperately needed surgeries, hormone replacement therapy, physical rehabilitation, occupational therapy, and treatment for disabilities?

Can you even quantify the amount of suffering you have witnessed in your life that is related to someone lacking these things? Can you deal with the fact that it didn’t have to be that way? Can you keep living like this?

talesofgeekdom  asked:

Here's something I got to know: What is the best game you've played on Steam this year?

I’m gong to have to make this one a two-parter:

The best I’ve played this year including demos and early-access titles (so skip down to the next one if you’re not into early access stuff - look for the bold text) would have to be CrossCode. Even in its obviously unfinished state, it’s pretty phenomenal; if you’re old-school, picture The Legend of Zelda: A Link to the Past meets Terranigma.

In a nutshell, it’s a top-down, 2D action RPG. You play as a young woman named Lea, who’s participating in an experimental MMO as part of her rehabilitative therapy following an as-yet-undescribed accident. Gameplay takes place entirely within that notional MMO, in which players project hard-light avatars into a “playground” region situated on the habitable moon of a gas giant in a distant star system, and explore the ruins of an extinct alien civilisation. This exploration alternates between parkour-like traversal challenges in the overworld, and puzzle-filled dungeons revolving principally around block-pushing with light 2D physics elements; e.g., bouncing stuff off of other stuff.

(Interestingly, everything I just described is quite literal: the game’s intro/tutorial chapter makes it clear that you and your fellow players really are projecting hard-light avatars onto the surface of an actual extrasolar moon, and the alien ruins you’re exploring are likewise quite real. Lea seems to live in some sort of gonzo space opera setting, though you never get to see it on account of interacting with her exclusively via the game-within-a-game.)

Like I said, it’s an early access game, but there’s a fair amount of meat to it. The current version gets you the first 3-4 hours of the story, a good chunk of the overworld, and the first three major dungeons (with a fourth slated to be added later this month). Also your first recruitable party member, Emilie, who is a. utterly adorable, and b. probably crushing on the protagonist pretty hard. You know, if you’re into that sort of thing.

As for the best I’ve played this year excluding demos and early-access titles, I’d have to give that honour to The Amber Throne. It’s another RPG, albeit a much more traditional one: we’re talking dungeons, minimaps, turn-based combat, the works. Here, you play as a woman named Arra as she chases after a mystical artifact, the titular Amber Throne. The game is linear (with some light side-questing), progressing through a series of dungeon-like areas interspersed with town exploration and elaborately hand-painted cutscenes.

The gameplay is basically all in the combat system: bog-standard turn-based RPG, with the quirk that all resource management happens in the turn-to-turn micro. There are no numbers to keep track of except for hit points, with various special attacks implemented in terms of opportunity costs like extra recovery time or reduced damage in exchange for added effects. It’s not hard to bust the system wide open and totally trivialise battles if that’s your thing, but it does some unconventional stuff within a very conventional framework.

In terms of writing and audiovisual presentation, it’s clearly an attempt at producing spiritual successor to the PSone Breath of Fire games, a goal at which it largely succeeds. The setting feels grim and run-down without being dark or grotesque; if I had to pick a word for its tone, it’d be “elegaic”. One conceit of the writing that really struck me is how it handles the characterisation of the main character, Arra; though she’s a prototypically stoic silent protagonist during play (in fact, she’s explicitly mute), she speaks during the frequent flashbacks, and keeps a written journal of current events that gives you a strong sense of her internal voice.

A caveat, mind: unlike the previous entry, this one is obviously a one-person indie project. Don’t expect AAA production values here; I encountered UI glitches, frequent dialogue typos, and numerous balance issues. Also, the game’s expressionistic visual style, while beautifully rendered, frequently makes it difficult to tell where you can and can’t walk on the maps. Still, if you can get past that, it’s well worth your time.

As I lay dying Avengers x reader (slight bucky x reader)

Originally posted by hospitalheaven

Originally posted by fourteenyearswithpain

Originally posted by moan-s

Originally posted by mariaslittlestuff

Originally posted by stanxstan

Originally posted by personal-interest-in-you

Okay, I’m really sorry you guys, this one is sad… So be prepared for feels. But after this I promise it’ll be back to happy, cuteness okay? @arfrona
Warning: Reader death, sickness and cancer.

You were always the one person with the happy, carefree look at life, brightening any atmosphere with a smile and laughter. With Tony Stark as your older brother, you used your upbeat personality against his snarkiness and jokes, let’s not mention the sarcasm. Besides his hard to get along with others personality, you got along with your brother, for the most part, He knew enough to stay away when you were angry, it might result in a WW3, and he was touchy about his stuff.
After the Avengers had come to live with them in the tower, You’d befriended all of them, you were easy to talk to and always cheered them when they had a bad day. It didn’t take long and they were treating you like their own sister. You were happy and carefree, never dreaming of trouble and heartache on the horizon.
About 4 months after Loki’s attack on New York, You started feeling ill, and exhausted all the time. On a whim, you went to the doctor, and after many medical procedures, They told you had stage 2 lung cancer, and it was spreading. They set up appointments right there to start chemotherapy. You’d left in shock and tears, wondering how to tell everyone.
In the end, you didn’t have to, five days after you been told you had cancer, you’d been retrieving something from the kitchen and had gone into a coughing and wheezing fit, and in a state of panic, your world began to spin and you weren’t prepared for the bout of dizziness, falling to the floor, still coughing and wheezing, spitting up blood from your harsh coughs.
Tony immediately took you down to one of the Shield doctors on hand, where they told you what you already knew. Tony had been devastated, hugging you and trying not to cry, it was one of the few times you’d seen him so emotional and caring. He called the rest of the Avengers into the medical bay where you were resting and told them the news, and then there was more crying and hugging, and after that, your whole world changed.
3 years later…
You’d been through hell and back, staying strong through all the chemotherapy, which made you even more sick and your beautiful hair fall out. You didn’t like wigs, they were itchy and made you depressed about your missing hair, so you wore a bandana instead. Through all of it the Avengers had been there with you, taking to to chemotherapy sessions, taking care of you when you were sick, making sure you could breathe, there’d been several scares where you couldn’t breathe or stopped breathing. Because of this, a tank of oxygen and a breathing tube became your best friends.
After 2 years, you went into remission from it, and though you still had the oxygen tank and breathing tube, along with some of the original symptoms, you didn’t have to take chemotherapy, much to your relief. You stayed at Avengers Tower and your hair grew back, now a short, sort of pixie style, until it grew out fully. Now, after the big fight with Ultron, everyone was at the new Avenger base, in Upstate New York. You stayed there during the week and stayed at Avengers Tower on the weekends with Tony, who still fussed over you like a mother hen. Life was good, and you intended to enjoy it.
Your P.O.V.
It’d been a long day for you, helping Natasha out with the new recruits, you couldn’t fight, but something was better than sitting around being useless all day, and you did simple exercises and physical therapy. You’d lost a lot of weight and been so sick and you wanted to try and get back into shape. You felt tired and your coughs were stronger than usual, you figured they were just from exercising so much so you brushed it off and went to bed. About the middle of the night, your breathing became heavier and your coughs got worse. You curled up in your bed, pushing away the sheets as you try to breathe, You take deep breathes trying to alert Friday, whom Tony had installed at the base, to get help.
“Friday… *gasp* g-get… help” You say, coughing as you taste blood. You close your eyes, “please, oh please don’t let this be a relapse” you think as you hear your door being opened and footsteps running towards you.
“(Y/n)…” Steve said immediately picking you up and rushing you down the hall, down to the Shield medical ward. Natasha and the others met up with you and followed you there. As You began to drift in and out of consciousness, you could hear Steve shouting at the doctors and nurses and you left warm arms and were set on a gurney, there was more shouting and commotion, You breathes got heavier and the world around you was spinning and muffled, you couldn’t understand what was going on. An oxygen mask was placed over your face, somewhere far away someone called your name and then the world went black.
When you woke up, Natasha was sitting next to you, and as you tried to sit up, She pushed you gently back onto the hospital bed.
“Whoa there, take it easy” Natasha said
“Nat… What happened? Did I relapse?” You ask, your voice hoarse from not being used. Natasha sighed and didn’t say anything, brushing a piece of hair out of your face.
“I’m sorry (Y/n), the doctors…” She was interrupted by the sound of your brother’s voice.
“Where is she? Where’s (Y/n)?” His panicked voice floated down the hall, and the door opened and Tony was at your side in an instant. “(Y/n), I’m so sorry I wasn’t here, I got here as soon as I heard” Tony said fussing over you.
“Tony, stop…” You say pulling his hand away as you cough harshly. 
“(Y/n)? What’s the matter?” He asked looking between you and Natasha “Did I miss something?” He asks as a doctor enters the room carrying a clipboard.
“Mr.Stark, I would sit down” She said, he gave her an odd look but did so. “(Y/n), I regret to inform you, but your cancer has returned, and it’s stronger and spreading  faster, it’s at stage 3” She said and then you broke down into tears, it hurt to hear it. Tony was holding you hand and choking back tears, it was happening all over again, only worse this time. You sat there and cried for a while before Nat left to tell the others. Tony turned to you,
“(Y/n), you’re going to get through this, everything’s going to be okay” Tony said and you nod, but deep inside you knew you wouldn’t.
After you were released from Shield medical bay, you were kept close tabs on by Friday, as well as the other Avengers when Tony wasn’t around and had to stay on the communal or your own floors to minimize your stress level, You could go outside or into the city but someone had to go with you. The week after you found out, you began chemotherapy again, shaving your head not long after your first treatment, donning a bandana to cover your bare head. The dose was stronger this time and it made you even more sick. You slept a lot and didn’t do much, even just walking up or down the stairs was exhausting. On top of that, you were constantly coughing and wheezing, along with a fever, more weight loss, and a constant chest pain that left you feeling worse for wear.
About two months in, Sam and Steve found Bucky Barnes, Steve’s long lost best friend. He’d been brought to the base and put in rehabilitation and therapy, He had frequent nightmares and You woken up every so often by his screams. Tony had warned You to stay away, he didn’t want you to get hurt by Bucky, and had a talking to with Steve about him keeping Bucky away from you.
One day, after you’d returned from a chemotherapy session, You’d thrown up several times and were laid out on the couch in the living room, a bucket and a glass of water beside you, along with your oxygen tank and Your body was covered in a thick, warm blanket. You were alone for the rest of the day, everyone was called out for a mission, but Maria, Jane, Darcy and if all else failed, Nick Fury himself were on call if you needed it. You lay there resting until you heard someone come in. Confused, you opened your eyes to find Bucky standing there, looking at you. You look up at him and decide to ignore your brother’s warnings, He looked tired and worn out. Not at all like an assassin.
“Hi” You say waving your fingers at him, your hand felt too heavy to lift.
“Hey…” He mumbled in reply and looked like he was about to leave when a wave of nausea hit you and you quickly grabbed the bucket next to you and hurled what was left in your stomach, which wasn’t much, and sat there dry heaving in front of Bucky. When it was finally over, You shakily stood up, pushing your sweaty hair out your face. You surprised to be gently pushed back and looked up to find Bucky kneeling next to you.
“Let me” He said taking the bucket from your shaking hands and was gone before you could protest. He returned not long after with a clean bucket and two wet washrags. He wiped your face with one and placing the other on your feverish forehead, you supposed his instincts from taking care of Steve were kicking in.
“Thank you” you whisper, grasping the glass of water and taking small sips as he nods. “I was going to watch a movie, would you like to join me?” You ask and he nods again. You pat the space next to you in the couch, and he sits, still tense and wary, though tiredness shown in his eyes. You decide on Tarzan and settle into the couch, your eyes glancing over to Bucky every so often. He was watching the movie with great interest and almost intensity like he can’t look away and he needs to remember every single bit of it. After the movie is over, You decide to try something. You sit up with some difficulty and scoot over to Bucky who was tapping his foot to the end credits music. You take his metal hand and he looks up, almost startled, but you continue, keeping eye contact with him as You slowly open his fist with your fingers and spread your hands together, palms flat, like Tarzan and Jane did in the movie. Bucky looks from you and your connected hands and gives the faintest of smiles. After that moment, every time everyone was gone whether on a mission or something else, You and Bucky would watch Disney movies together, swearing Friday to secrecy.
About a month after this had been happening, all the Avengers were out on another mission and you’d been feeling especially sick, You and Bucky decided to watch The Fox and the Hound snuggled up on the couch. Since the first movie, you’d developed a special, delicate bond, using the Jane and Tarzan hands as greeting and farewell. Currently, You sat snuggled up on the couch, Your head on his shoulder, legs draped over his lap. You were exhausted and felt especially sick, and a movie with Bucky always helped. You laughed and smiled at the cute movie, watching sadly as the Widow Tweed said goodbye to Tod and the two friends were torn apart. Bucky seemed to be especially emotional, watching with sad eyes and remorse as they promise to be friends forever, no matter what and when Copper defends Tod from his owner Slade. You hugged him, understanding that it was hard for him, with Steve and his mixed up memories. After the movie ended, You fell asleep together on the couch, too tired to remember to keep it a secret.
You woke up to the sound of Tony’s angry voice and Steve’s calm and reassuring one, Bucky’s arms pulled your body close to him and you snuggle into him, breathing in his scent. Opening your eyes, You found Tony and Steve in front of you, Tony looked angry and Steve looked confused and trying to keep the peace.
“(Y/n), what are you doing? I thought I told you to stay away from him!” Tony said obviously angered that you’d disobeyed.
“Tony, leave her alone, Bucky hasn’t done anything wrong” Steve tried to reason. They started to argue. You looked up at Bucky, who was still holding you close, a look of fear and protectiveness on his face. You give him a small reassuring smile, tucking back a piece of hair that fell out of his ponytail before turning to your brother and Steve.
“Stop it, both of you, this was my choice, it makes me feel a little better, especially when I feel sick, in the past month-”
“Month?!” Tony practically shrieked
“Shush, let me finish, in the past month, Bucky has taken care of me when I was sick when everyone was gone, he watched movies with me and cheered me up. No harm has come to me, in fact, I think watching Disney movies calms him down. He needs a break too, he barely gets any sleep from his nightmares. When he’s with me, he usually falls asleep after and not once has he had a nightmare” You explain, taking a deep breath, talking a lot winded you.
“But why are you in his lap? And why him?” Tony asked still obviously ticked off.
“Because, I need and want comfort Tony, I’m sick if you haven’t noticed, I want comfort after I’ve been puking and running a fever, You wouldn’t know, You’re never around anymore! I’m with Bucky because he’s the only one around that seems to understand my pain and that I’m sick and need to be cared for. I don’t see you around when I’m throwing up after chemotherapy, which, by the way, is worse than the first time” You say taking a deep breath after your rant, obviously still winded and stressed.
“(Y/n), I’m Iron Man, and Tony Stark, I can’t spend all my time with you, I’m busy” He replied trying to make a point, but You just shake your head at him, turning away.
“Tony, you need to spend more time with your sister, she needs you” Steve said
“Oh, like you know anything” Tony retorted and they started bickering again. You lay your head tiredly on Bucky’s shoulder, it was no use, your brother would never understand. Bucky stroked your cheek with his hand, and you looked up at him, flashing a small smile, he was still here for you at least. As you listen to the two argue, you feel a tightening in your chest, and it becomes harder for you to breath. You grip Bucky’s shirt, as your vision swims from dizziness.
“Bucky, something’s wrong” You whisper and a look of worry, almost fear, crosses his features and He stands up abruptly, starting into a run as Your breaths become more labored. You can hear Tony and Steve behind you, yelling, footsteps pounding in your ears. Your world fades in and out as Bucky enters the medical bay, shouting for help, and You’re laid out on a gurney. In your dizziness, You reach for Bucky’s metal hand, spreading your hands flat, against each other before You’re taken away and your world fades to black again.
This time when you woke up, You were hooked up to a lot of machines, needles poked into your body. You had oxygen tubes still, and you felt too weak to even push yourself up from the bed. Everything hurt, you’d never felt more sick in your life. The door opened and your doctor entered, slowly approaching you.
“(Y/n), I’m regret to tell you this, but You’re at stage four, it’s spread at such an alarming pace, faster than we anticipated. There’s too much cancer, and no amount of radiation or chemotherapy will help. You have very little time left, the best we can do is make you comfortable as possible” She told you and You nodded slowly, too numb to react. She left and Tony entered not soon after, carrying flowers.
“(Y/n)… I’m sorry… for everything” Tony said setting down the flowers and hugging you close.
“It’s okay Tony… It’s not your fault” You say coughing as He lets go. He pulls up a chair next to you, taking your hand a sad look on his face.
“Hey, it’ll be okay” You say quietly giving him a small smile, and He smiled back. You spent the rest of the day with Tony, talking and remembering, keeping your minds off of what was close at hand.  
Over the next couple days, everyone came in and visited, all the Avengers, Maria and Fury, Pepper and Happy, everyone, except Bucky. Tony wouldn’t let him in, and when you heard you made a big fuss.
“Tony, let him in, I don’t care if you don’t like him, I do, he’s my friend, now let him in or so help me I will pull out all my needles and walk out there and see him” You threaten as much as a deathly sick cancer patient could muster.
“But (Y/n)…” Tony protested
“Let. Him. In.” You say as you attempt to push yourself off the bed.
“Okay, okay, I’ll go get him” Tony said with a huff of annoyance. You smile, You’d won the battle. Bucky entered soon after, he looked exhausted and there were dark bags under his eyes. He looked nervous and stood at the edge of your bed, avoiding eye contact, You supposed he was wary, You looked and felt more sick than ever.
“Tony, can you leave us alone?” You ask and He looks like he’s about to protest but you stop him, “Please Tony?”
“Fine, but no funny business” He said before leaving. You ignore him and turn to Bucky.
“C’mere” You say and He walks over to you sitting down in the chair next to your bed. You take your hand and press it against his metal one, spreading them until they were flat against one another.
“You’re going to die?” He asked and You nod, clasping your fingers with his.
“I don’t want to leave you, but I have to go, it’s a part of life” You say and He nods. “I won’t be sick anymore, and I’ve been sick for awhile” You said looking up at the ceiling with a sigh.
“I wish you could get better” Bucky said sadly, and you take his hand and kiss it gently.
“Promise me, when I’m gone, You’ll keep watching movies, have Steve watch them with you… I’m sure he’d like that, I know it won’t be the same, but you’re not alone” You tell him, brushing a piece of hair out of his face.
“Okay, I will, I promise” He said
“Good, now, do you want to watch Tarzan with me one last time?” You ask and he nods eagerly. So you spend your last day together watching Tarzan and relaxing, Bucky looked like he hadn’t slept in days.  As the movie ends, You’re both drowsy, so Bucky flattens his hand on yours, metal against skin, spreading your hands in goodbye before kissing your cheek gently and leaving the room. As you drift off to sleep, you’re surrounded by darkness, then a light appears and You’re pulled into it, and then the pain and sickness is gone.
You died that night, in your sleep after a long, painful battle with cancer. You’d fought the good fight and now you were no longer in pain or suffering. Your funeral was held on a beautiful spring day, not a cloud in the sky. You were buried next to Your deceased parents, with an overwhelming amount of flowers on your grave. There wasn’t a dry eye during the service or at the cemetery. True to his promise, Bucky began watching movies with Steve, or anyone who was willing. Tony had a memorial wall built in your honor with pictures and videos. The Avengers as a whole started a Cancer foundation to help families who couldn’t afford to pay for chemotherapy and hospital expenses. Their lives went on without you, but they carried you in their hearts, memories of all the good and bad times together, you’d always be there with them. You were physically gone, but you lived on the hearts of those who love you.
                             In loving memory of Carol G.