regular games

An AU where Bitty didn’t go to Samwell and instead started working at a bakery in Providence. The bakery is around the same neighbourhood where Tater lives.

Tater starts frequenting the place and soon enough, you guessed it. Bitty and Tater become friends.

The best of friends. The ride or die friends. The I’d hide a body with you friend. But also the how many skittles can you fit in your mouth? Friend.

Tater starts a lot of his stories with ‘B and I…’ ‘Took B to’ 'B is’ etc and everybody starts assuming that B is Tater’s girlfriend, until he brings him for a game.

Everybody sort of goes 'oooooh’ and assumes this is Tater coming out and bringing his boyfriend to meet them. And if you think about it, it sort of explains Tater calling him B.

Then Tater comes super excited one day. 'B will move with me!’ And they all congratulate him and everything, thinking it’s so nice that Tater and Bitty’s relationship is going well, while actually Tater has been nagging Bitty to move in so he can have access to pie 24/7.

But also because Bitty is his best friend and since he bought his apartment he has been feeling a little lonely, this is the reason that does convince Bitty to move in because he has been feeling a little lonely too.

Fast forward a year, Jack graduates and joins the team. By this point Bitty is a regular at the games, he is a very in demand babysitter and makes a lot of food for the players.

Before he starts, Guy and Marty take the time to feel him out and explain that Tater has a boyfriend, and that they will have nothing but acceptance in their locker room.

They do this after asking Tater if it was ok to tell Jack about Bitty.

'No problem!’ Tater replies happily 'But B so good he need no introduction.’

Jack is pleased by this of course, and happy he is in a welcoming team.

Then Jack meets Bitty.

And to make it better, let’s say he meets him when he is carrying a bunch of stuff for the nook.

'You should eat more protein,’ Jack jokes after seeing all the pies, and offers a hand to carry things.

Bitty jokes/flirts back. They are having a moment, Jack feels butterflies in his stomach and well, if the team is ok with Tater, surely they’d be ok with him…

'B! You made it!’ Tater bellows from down the hallways and rushes over, picking Bitty and putting him in a bear hug. 'I miss you.’

'Tater!’ Bitty yells laughing, and kisses his cheek playfully, 'you saw me this morning.’

'Yeah but you sleepy, you grumpy when sleepy. Like tiny bear.’

And then Bitty and Tater start to bicker like an old married couple. This whole time Tater is holding Bitty up.

Jack stomach drops to his feet, because of course Bitty is taken. By his teammate.

Jack develops a crush, a massive problematic crush because holy fuck Tater is the nicest person ever, and he would never want to get in between him and his boyfriend, but also he is terrified of Tater finding out because he once took two defence man by himself and won.

Meanwhile, at Bitty and Tater’s home, Bitty flings himself dramatically over the counter.

'Tater! I’m in love. Jack is so cute and nice, I like him so much.’

'Jack nice guy, he good guy for you. I approve,’ Tater says solemnly with a mouth full of pie.

'Say it don’t spray it,’ Bitty asks for the millionth time. 'Do you know if he likes guys?’

And then Tater being the good friend he is, tries to feel Jack out and play matchmaker, while an increasingly alarmed Jack thinks Tater is warning him off about crushing on Bitty.

Which isn’t helped by the fact Bitty keeps popping up to chirp him, which kind of feels like flirting but surely not…

Things get clarified and everything, Jack and Bitty start dating, and Tater has to explain 8 times to everybody that no, he never dated Bitty.

'We kissed once. We agree weird. We best as best friends,’ Tater says once again.

'Yeah but if he was going to date somebody other than you why couldn’t it be me?’ Poots complains loudly.

'You no good enough for B,’ Tater chirps back. 'I only let B date good teammate who didn’t eat my pie.’

'Will you let that go man!? I didn’t know it was yours.’

'It had sticky paper with Tater on it! You don’t fool me Poot, you food thief!’

Soulless discovering the baby in 6x02 (there’s something so guileless and sweet in his face idk)

2

Previously, we’ve reported that Splatoon 2 will allow up to eight Nintendo Switch systems to connect via local wireless to play Private Battles. In addition to this, a new feature called LAN Play will enable players to connect eight docked systems using a wired LAN setup. This feature allows players to create local Private Battle tournaments without the need for an Internet connection.

If you’re willing to put in the work to set up LAN Play, you can also use the Private Battle Spectator View feature by hooking up two additional Nintendo Switch systems. Local wireless play is perfect for your regular gaming get-togethers, but LAN Play is where it’s at when you want to organize a serious tournament event with your fellow players.

Things that canonically happened in the Ace Attorney universe
  • A witness claims he saw the killer fly away. This is true and is accepted as credible evidence
  • Maya channels Mia specifically to seduce an old man into talking about a crime
  • Someone tried to get an alibi for a murder case by being arrested for a thievery case
  • You cross-examine a parrot
  • You have the option to publicly call yourself a sham in court
  • You have the option to claim you committed murder in court
  • Phoenix’s ex-girlfriend was found guilty in a case, but she couldn’t be arrested because she committed the crime after she already died
  • Mia proving her client’s innocence literally makes Winston Payne go bald
  • Prosecutors can do things like whip or throw boiling coffee at the defense attorneys. This is perfectly acceptable as a regular occurence
  • The game accidentally predicts the exact timeframe that the Harlem Shake would become popular
  • You know when people are withholding information from you because a magic rock lets you see physical representations of their lies
  • You interrogate a hitman in court by talking to him on a walkie-talkie
  • Franziska von Karma was a lawyer at age 14. This is accepted as normal

YOU HAVEN’T LIVED UNTIL YOU’VE PLAYED A 12 PERSON LUCIO MATCH IM JUST SAYING

10

My favorite pictures from day two of tidewater comicon :D
With @princess-in-space as princess bubblegum @themagnetprotectingstarksheart as Danielle Sexbang & that famous Maui cosplayer
If you’re in any pictures I post you should tell me so I can tag you!!

[scenario] [request] not so subtle glances

(i tried ok i cant write edgy stuff like this…………) 

22: “I’ve seen the way you look at me when you think I don’t notice.”
34: “If you keep looking at me like that we won’t make it to a bed.”

Title: not so subtle glances

Member: Seungcheol 

Genre: slightly suggestive?? lots of kissing // fluff kinda

Word Count: 1235

“Seungkwan, I’m telling you, you cannot leave Seungcheol & I in the same room.” He rolls his eyes at you and continues to tie his laces.

“I won’t take long. I’m going to the store to get more soda and snacks, not flying to China.” He stands and unlocks the front door, humming loudly over the sound of your complaints. “Anyway, we’re just working on a group project, I don’t know why you’re so nervous.”

Keep reading

This video game could literally train our brains to resist symptoms of disease

  • Some research already suggests that gaming can be good for our brains. Now, a study found that a specific type could help treat “brain fog,” also known as “cognitive impairment.”
  • Cognitive impairment is when the brain is slow at processing information. It’s a symptom that appears in people with Multiple Sclerosis, Alzheimer’s disease, schizophrenia and other illnesses — but it also shows up in head injuries, depression, fevers or simply as we age.
  • Scientists asked a group of about 200 MS patients to play computer games for 12 weeks, or about 60 hours in total.
  • Some played regular puzzle games thought to sharpen the brain, such as a sudoku, while others played adaptive brain games developed by a group called PositScience.
  • The PositScience games use something known as “adaptive cognitive training.” The game adjusts its speed or difficulty level in real time, based on how well players perform on simple tasks like remembering a sequencing of numbers or identifying a target on the screen.
  • Patients who played the adaptive games reported significant improvement in their thought processing, leading Charvet to believe that these games could revolutionize how diseases are treated. Read more (5/18/17)
follow @the-future-now

it seems like people forget that even if they’re in love, lance and keith are Rivals. they’re Arch Enemies and they wouldn’t let a little thing like dating change that:

  • keith convinces lance to go on morning jogs with him, but they always turn into sprints real quick bc one boy starts edging in front of the other and so on
  • “I bet I can kiss you longer without stopping for air.” 
    • “um? no way dude you’re on.”
    • shiro finds keith and lance making out but they’re both turning blue and keith is punching the wall for some reason? keith breaks away and gasps in a huge gulp of air and screams “DAMMIT” at the same time lance just like. dabs or something
  • they get into an honest-to-god hand holding contest. whoever lets go first loses. 
    • “guys, we have to start afternoon training.”
    • “I don’t think you realize the gravity of the situation, shiro. I can’t let keith win. jesus, are you insane?”
    • “keith, then–”
    • “nope. already lost the kissing. I am not about to go o-for-two here.”
  • everything, absolutely everything turns into a competition, and the more in love they fall the worse it gets. 
  • like, before it was just bc they “hated” each other. but now? goddamn if lance is gonna be shown up by his boyfriend. and keith needs to keep lance’s head from getting too big or he’s unbearable.
  • who uses the most pet names in a day? one point lance. who reaches out for little touches always? another point lance. makes the other smile the most? keith’s on the board. the best at complimenting?
    • “your mullet is actually ridiculously attractive and your hair in general is so soft and I would actually commit murder to know your secret.”
    • “yeah? well, your skin is like, spotless, ok? do you even have pores?”
    • “it’s called moisturizing, babe. and when I’m stressed I get backne! I’ve seen you shirtless a bazillion times and your body is perfect!”
    • “no way. don’t even say that. my core needs some serious work. you have abs, lance. I could wash my jacket on those things.”
    • I have a good body? have you looked in a mirror? someone carved a v in your hips with a freaking chisel!”
  • this becomes a regular game over dinner, and team voltron barely even hears them bicker anymore.
  • just. keith and lance being an Old Married Couple. they were made for each other. 
You’ve heard of JonTron, now get ready for...

Alpharad, a YouTuber with a similar vibe to his comedy, but without the problematic views and bigotry! He’s a smaller channel with regular game-related content. As a starting point, let me recommend his video “Pokemon Sun: The Whole Game in 20 Minutes!” because it was the hardest I’d laughed at something in a while and really sold me on the channel as a whole.

Go forth, lovelies, and enjoy A+ content made by A+ creators.

Ron Hainsy goes 16 years and 907 regular season games before ever making it to the playoffs until this year. He’s got his first cup.

Phil Kessel was the joke of the town that he never won a cup. He’s got 2 in 2 years.

Patrick Hornqvist was drafted last in 2005 by the Preds and was traded to the Pens in 2014. He’s got 2 in 2 years.

This is a team that takes what others throw away and makes them Stanley Cup Champs.

Hockey, quick and dirty (no, not like that)

So the Stanley Cup Finals are upon us and I’m guessing a few people who’ve never watched hockey might decide to check it out, especially since no matter who wins this year, it’ll be historic.

A lot of people watching hockey for the first time: OMG WHAT THE HAP IS FUCKENING SO MANY MOVING THINGS.

Worry not. I am Here For You.

What even is going on here. I’m dizzy.

Yeah, that happens. What is going on here is that two teams of six dudes each are trying to get a six ounce rubber puck into the back of the other team’s net. They do this by skating rlly fast, banging into each other, cursing a lot, and flinging the puck around. That’s it, basically. Hockey isn’t very complicated in its basics. There is one way to earn a point (make the puck go into the net) and one way to win (be better at making the puck go into the net than the other guys).

I can’t see the puck WHY SO TINY.

I feel your pain. Watching hockey on tv is a bit of an acquired skill. If it helps, watch the players, not the puck. Ironically, watching it live is WAY easier.

Who are these six dudes?

Each team is allowed six players on the ice. Almost all the time, those six players are three forwards (who are supposed to shoot the puck and score - a group of 3 forwards is called a “line”), two defensemen (who are supposed to stop the other team from being able to score, and get the puck back for their team) and one goalie (whose whole job is to stand in front of the net, be huge and impenetrable, and stop the puck from going in). But except for the goalie, everyone shares in all the jobs to varying degrees. Defensemen often score, and forwards often defend. There is at least one NHL team whose top scorer is a defenseman.

There are way more dudes on the bench. What are they even doing, cheering?

They’re waiting for their turn. Each team can have 23 players on their active roster, but can only “dress” (get geared up and ready to play) 20 players for each game. They usually dress four lines of forwards, three defensive pairs, and two goalies (a primary and a backup - most of the time the backup sits on the bench the whole game. He only goes in if the primary gets hurt or gets scored on a LOT). If you are not familiar with the players and their numbers, you’re probably not noticing that the players on the ice change constantly. Hockey is so strenuous that you can’t do it at full game speed for more than a minute. Forwards play in “shifts” of usually 30-45 seconds, defensemen usually 1 to 2 minutes. They swap out as the coaches direct, without stopping play. I have yet to stop being impressed by this. You often don’t see the changes on TV because the cameras stay with the puck, and the players are changing off-camera.

Wait…what’s a power play? That sounds kinky.

A big part of hockey is penalties. You get penalties for doing not-cool stuff with your stick, your body, your skates. Most are minor penalties (two minutes) - there are also double minors (four minutes) and majors (five minutes). When a team is charged with a penalty, a player goes to the box, usually (but not always) the player who committed the penalty. You’re not allowed to replace the player who’s in the box, so this means his team is short one player, and the other team has an advantage, which is called a power play. Teams have a special group of players for the power play (usually their best forwards) and also a special group for when they’re at a disadvantage (called a penalty kill, heavy on their best defensemen because they want to survive the penalty without getting scored on). It’s possible to have TWO players in the box at once resulting in a 5-on-3 advantage (a two-man advantage is the maximum allowed) and sometimes you’ll get one player from each team with a penalty, resulting in a 4 on 4 period.

Icing? Offsides? These are clearly not cake-decorating terms.

Hockey is played in three periods of twenty minutes each with a 15 minute intermission between them. During those periods, play continues until a whistle is blown or a goal is scored. Whistles are blown for penalties, when the goalie freezes the puck (stops it and hangs on to it so it can’t be played), the puck goes out of play (over the glass or into the bench) or when the teams commit the infractions of icing or offsides. Icing is when someone shoots the puck from behind the center line all the way to the opposite end. You’re not supposed to do that. When the puck is being played toward the offensive zone, the puck has to be the first thing across the “blue line” (the line that marks the beginning of the offensive zone). If an offensive player beats the puck across the line, that’s offsides. 

Hey, they’re fighting! That can’t be allowed, right?

Well…yeah, it kind of is. Hockey players frequently get in minor little shovey-shovey sweary shouty skirmishes (this is often referred to as the players getting “chippy”). Those aren’t fights. Real capital-F Fights are actually a stat that is kept for teams and players. An official fight is usually at least semi-planned and the refs are sort of given a heads-up about it, they usually just stand there and let it happen, and the players keep each other from piling on. It’s a real fight if the players drop their gloves and if punches are thrown. Believe it or not, learning to “hockey fight” so you don’t actually injure yourself or the other player is a skill that players are taught. It happens, but usually both players will get some variety of penalty (roughing or fighting depending on the severity and who started it). There was a real fight in last night’s game although it was really more like a minute-long hug session.

They’re totally running into each other. A lot.

Yep. That’s called checking, or hitting. It’s legal to hit a player who has the puck in order to get possession away from him. But there are a lot of rules - you can’t hit someone who doesn’t have the puck, you can’t hit the player with the puck from behind, you can’t hit them above the shoulders or below the knees, you can’t use your elbows, and so forth. Legal hits can still be pretty brutal and how penalties are called for illegal hits is wildly inconsistent. Hits are another stat kept for the teams and it’s a measure of how aggressive they’re being in taking puck possession.

Hey, the players are getting points too, not just the teams.

Yes, they are! Hockey is very team-oriented. It’s extremely rare for a player to score a goal without one of his teammates setting it up for him, or getting the puck to him in a way that enables him to score. Players get equal points in their individual stats for both goals and assists. Each goal has the possibility of two assists - the guy who touched the puck before the goal-scorer, and the guy who touched it before that. Assists are not recorded on every goal, and some goals only have a primary assist and not a secondary. When we talk about players’ stats, the ones most frequently mentioned for forwards are total points (goals + assists), goals, and points per game (goals + assists divided by number of games played). Any player will tell you that the ability to just shoot the puck into the net is not the most important part of offensive play - the ability to “create offense” and set up plays that result in a goal is even more important. Some players are goal-scorers (Alex Ovechkin is one example) and some are players that do more offensive creation (Sidney Crosby is like that). 

DUDE THE GOALIE IS GONE. DID HE REMEMBER THAT HE LEFT THE OVEN ON?

If the goalie is gone it’s probably in the last 2 minutes of the game and his team is losing. There is no rule that says you HAVE to have a goalie on the ice and you’re allowed six players, so if you pull your goalie, you can put another forward on to score. If there’s 2 minutes left and your team is down by 1 or 2 goals, if you pull your goalie, the worst that can happen is you’ll lose MORE, and you might be able to tie the game and force overtime, or even win, if you put yourself at a man advantage with an extra skater. This is called an “empty net” situation and it’s nerve-wracking, especially if your team is the one that pulls the goalie. All it takes is for the other team to break away from your defense and they can pretty much score unchallenged. (There is another situation, delayed penalties, during which a team pulls their goalie during other times in the game, but that’s a bit advanced. I can explain it if anyone’s curious)

Um, is it me or do these playoffs take forever?

It’s not you. The Stanley Cup playoffs take forever. Sixteen teams make the playoffs (out of 30, soon to be 31 teams total) and they play four rounds, each of which is a best-of-seven. The winning team at the end could have played as many as 28 games in the post-season - the regular season is 82 games long. There are four divisions in the league grouped into two conferences. Each division sends their top three teams to the playoffs, then each conference sends the next two highest-scoring teams for a total of eight teams per conference. Those eight play for the conference championships, then those last two teams go on to play for the Stanley Cup. This year’s western conference champions, the Nashville Predators, and the eastern conference champions, the Pittsburgh Penguins, are two games in to the final round now. Pens are up 2-0 games in the series. Each round takes about two weeks - the playoffs started April 12 and could end as late as mid-June if the final round goes to seven games.

A lot of these dudes seem to be Canadian.

Yep. Hockey is Canadian for sure. Of the players in the NHL, 50% are Canadian (if you can name a world-famous hockey player there’s about a 95% chance he’s Canadian), 25% are American and 25% are European of some other variety (mostly Russian, Swedish, Czech and Finnish). One of the things about hockey that bugs me is that it’s SO WHITE. There are many reasons for that, but it’s getting better. At this year’s All Star Game there were six minority players invited, and there are some amazing up-and-coming young players of color in the league like Auston Matthews (who will 98% probably win the Calder trophy for Rookie of the Year this year), Josh Ho-Sang, Seth Jones and Nazem Kadri, three of whom played in this year’s playoffs.

There’s a lot of hugging. I did not expect this much hugging.

Hockey players hug a lot. After someone scores it’s pretty much standard for there to be a big hugpile.

Okay, I think I’m good for now.

Awesome! Hockey is fun to watch and hopefully this has been helpful. I enjoy talking about it and learning more stuff myself, so send me an Ask if something confuses you.

Okay so hockey is like, rife with superstitions and ritual.  

Each player has their own pre-game rituals, which are honestly on par with religious sacraments. You do not fuck with a man’s pre-game ritual.  Also, the inability to practice one’s pre-game ritual is deeply emotionally destabilizing.  Like, we’re talking serious repercussions here.  If a player is unable to complete their sacred ritual, there will be hell to pay.

Just as famous as Crosby’s famous pre-game plate of spaghetti, or Jack Zimmerman’s pre-game PB&J, is Snowy’s pre-game application of eyeliner.  It is not only essential to his game play; it is essential to the current alignment of our space-time continuum.  

Which brings us to Snowy, currently in the throes of an emotional breakdown, in seat 15C on the Falc’s bus, clutching desperately to his last remaining tube of La Nuit, Nior de Nior eyeliner as though it were the cooling body of his only son.

Keep reading

anonymous asked:

How does a team clinch a playoff spot? Does that mean even if they lose their remaining games they'll still make it?

okay, let me explain it on the example of Leafs or/and Capitals, I’m gonna try to make it as simple as possible, for those who don’t know the NHL well yet.


this is the Atlantic Division only; table of it

first three (3) teams of each division (amount of the teams in the divison doesn’t matter– it’s always three) automatically clinch a playoff spot. so let’s edit it.

as you can see, the Leafs are 4th, 3 points behind Bruins. a couple years ago it would end like this, no chance for the Leafs to get to the playoffs, of course if we’re talking about the season ending this soon.

however, we have Wild Card these years and this is where it gets more difficult. it really used to be simplier without it.

here’s Eastern Conference, all these teams except of the Islanders are in playoff position now. they’re also the only eastern teams to be so.

the Wild Card is basically (or almost literally) combination of two (2) best teams of the specific conference that have not enough points to be in top three in their own divisions. 

you can see all these teams are mixed, from two different divisions.

kinda tricky thing about this is that there could be 3 teams of Atlantic Division in the playoffs + 5 teams of Metropolitan Division (3 top of the division + 2 Wild Card teams), it literally happened last season, same with the Western Conference where there were only 3 Pacific Division teams in the playoffs. so yes, the Islanders and Bolts are direct, really serious enemies of the Leafs in the run for playoffs though they’re not playing in the same division.

but what if the Leafs end up having the same number of points at the end of the regular season, as the Islanders have? well, then that’s quite easy. or not. I’m gonna explain this on the Caps, which have the same amount of points as the Blue Jackets but are still listed as first in the division.

NHL deals with this following ways. 

(let’s say we’re/you’re rooting for the Capitals)

1. the first and most important thing you must look at, is the number of games played. 71 - 71. same. this doesn’t solve the problem, so here comes the next thing you look at. 

(if the Jackets played one less game, they would be listed first automatically)

2. you would think the second criterion is number of wins, right? well, not exactly… the W column stands for all wins overall- including shootouts, but that’s not the column we’re thinking about now. we’re looking at this one. ROW.

it literally says Regulation plus Overtime Wins. like I said, W is wins overall, but ROW is only number of games won in regulation time and overtime. as you can see, the Capitals have won 46 games overall this season so far, but 45 of them were won in regulation or overtime. that means they have only 1 game in shootouts this season. so shootouts are really not that important to the NHL. 

and as you can see, this number is the same with the two teams. again.

3. third and usually the final criterion is the number of points the Caps have earned in games against the Blue Jackets. so basically, it’s a thing about who has been better in the mini Caps-Jackets series of 4 games this season so far.  

the first game of this season the Capitals played against the Blue Jackets ended with regulation win of the Capitals, 3-2, so the score is ‘2 points - 0 points’ 

the second game they played ended with regulation win of the Capitals, 5-0. ‘4 points - 0 points’

that’s all they have played against each other this season. they’re playing 2 more games against each other until the end of the regular season– since they’re in the same division the number of games playing against each other is 4 per regular season.

so what’s the score in the mini series? 4-0 for the Capitals.

so this is finally the reason why they’re listed first in the battle of division title against the Blue Jackets.

4. but since we’ve come this far, let’s talk about the last criterion anyway. this one is simple. NHL literally describes it as ‘The greater differential between goals for and against for the entire regular season.’

now you have to look at these three columns.

the first one, GF, stands for Goals For so the number of all goals they have scored in this season. it includes shootouts goals, where one win in the shootouts = plus one goal. this column is tied, again.

the second one, GA, stands for Goals Against so the number of all pucks they have officialy let get past their goalie’s goaline. you can see that the Capitals have been less time got scored at than the Jackets. 

the third one, DIFF, goal differential is always and simply this: GF - GA = DIFF.

so 228 minus 159 is 69, that’s the Capitals’ DIFF; while 228 minus 164 is 64, that’s the Blue Jackets’ DIFF. 

(DIFF can be totally below 0, Avalanche’s -96 is the worst DIFF in the NHL currently, while Capitals’ +69 is the best.)

the Capitals have this number higher than the Jackets, so even if they have lost one of the games against the Jackets in regulation (let’s ignore the GF/GA change), and the score in the mini series would be ‘4 points - 4 points’, the Capitals would still be listed first in the division, because of the DIFF.

oohhhh and one thing. what about the x next to the names of the teams?

  • the x next to a team means the team will 100% get to the playoffs, even if they/it lose every single remaining regular season game, even if their divisional opponents win every single remaining regular season game.
  • the y next to a team will soon appear to a team that will 100% end the regular season with the Divisional Title– will 100% end first in its division.
  • the z next to a team will soon appear to a team that will 100% end the regular season with 1st place in its conference.
  • the p next to a team will soon appear to a team that will 100% end the regular season with 1st place in the entire league. there’s an actual trophy for it, called Presidents’ Trophy. the latest winner of it, for the 2015-16 season were the Capitals.

okay, I really enjoyed writing this, more than I expected and I hope the anon, and so you others, find this at least a bit helpful.

Santas Elves

Context: a one off for a holiday, simple and quick before the regular game. It was Christmas, me and my team were santa’s elves and we had to rescue him from a kidnapping. We were given 3 Christmas wishes yet, which we could summon anything we could imagine with. After trying to break into this castle, using a few wishes up (like a huge ladder to reach a window, and one person made a grenade), we finally find ourselves looking from above to see a room full of soldiers, except the soldiers are playing cards, and there’s a queen commanding this army.

Elf 1: I want to use a Christmas wish.

DM: This is your last one, what would you like to attempt to do?

Elf 1: I want to make 10,000 swords floating above the entire room, pointing down, and I want to drop them on the playing cards.

Elf 2: what the hell man??

DM: …you can certainly try

Elf 1: *rolls natural 20*