refusing reality

anonymous asked:

I can understand to an extent Rick not wanting to write harmful stereotypes but holy shit compulsory heterosexuality is a thing, why does he not realize that.

it’s not even about that. it’s about dismissing a common experience for lesbians and bi girls and saying “i think i know better than you about what kinds of stereotypes lesbians don’t want to see”. this has been debunked millions of times, trust me rickald it’s INFINITELY worse for you to write a sapphic-coded character (i would say she’s lesbian-coded, but whether or not you agree with me on that is irrelevant because i think all of us can agree that whatever she is, she’s not straight) and then refuse to acknowledge the reality of how most people view her sexuality bc ur too much of a goddamn coward.

Why people get trapped by Emotional Abusers & Why it’s not their fault

(these apply to platonic and romantic relationships)

1. Attachment

The Emotional Abuser gives you attention: they make you feel flattered, loved and important. You start to believe that they genuinely care about you. They might even think that they do by themselves since they internally justify all their doings. Normally this kind of attachment would lead to a healthy bonding and a closer relationship. With the Emotional Abuser it leads to some levels of addiction and dependency on the victim’s part which is never their fault. Emotional Abuser’s behaviour exploits normal emotional bonding to another human being.

2. Guilt

In some point in the relationship you notice that it’s all about their needs. The Abuser might do something that hurts your feelings and bringing it up leads them to reason why it’s actually your fault and why you have to take responsibility for it. They make up convincing excuses why it’s not their job to do it, why it’s absolutely unreasonable of you to ask for it and so on. In other words: they Guilt-trip you. The Emotional Abuser believes they have no responsibility for their behaviour or feelings. If they feel uncomfortable by something in the relationship they will manipulate you to take the blame instead of trying to work things out. Guilt-tripping makes the victim submit and erodes their sense of emotional and physical boundaries since they are made to believe it’s their job to cater on Abuser’s needs.

3. Cognitive dissonance

After the idealization pace the Emotional Abuser will move to a devaluing pace. Catering to their needs is not enough anymore and you feel you can’t do anything right no matter what you do. The pace starts when the Abuser feels you are getting emotionally too close and/or you are trying to hold them accountable for something they have done. Emotional Abusers are afraid of responsibility and in some cases intimacy so they will try to push you away. They use manipulation: Gaslighting and Guilt-tripping to force you into silence and to take all the responsibility for the relationship. They give you Silent Treatment which is justified by some clever excuses. Emotional Abusers believe they are entitled to absolute emotional comfort even when it means abusing other people.

Because you remember how well they used to treat you, your mind has a hard time accepting they are not the person you thought they were. In fact you might start to make excuses for them in your head because they have manipulated you to think nothing is their fault. It is extremely difficult to get away from the Abuser’s emotional trap because they take advantage of the victim’s emotional bonding to them and give false hope that the relationship could be “fixed”. You are misled into thinking that if you just learn not to be so “needy” and “selfish”, the Abuser will reward you with the loving behaviour they demonstrated in the beginning.

Aftermath

The Emotional Abuser has no intention to take responsibility for what their abusive behaviour has caused you because they have normalized and justified it in their head. Not all of the Abusers are so sure of themselves but need a lot of internal convincing and validation from others so that they can feel good about themselves which is their goal: not having to deal with responsibility or emotional labour. After all Emotional Abusers are not Disney villains but people who are so selfish that they lack of motivation to learn how to not hurt people.

There are two ways how the trap can break: the victim quits all contact with the Abuser or the Abuser leaves the victim. The latter one occurs if the Emotional Abuser feels they have to deal with too much because of the victim. The Abuser might feel threatened by the victim if the victim is making the Abuser feel bad about themself by calling out their abusive behaviour. The Emotional Abuser thinks that they are actually the victim in the relationship because the real Victim is making them feel bad and scared. The Abuser is genuinely afraid that they would have to deal with negative emotions that taking responsibility would require.

In the end the Emotional Abuser ends the relationship with some dramatic note in which they project all their feelings into the victim: you are the abuser, you have harmed them, you have threatened them. This is their way of securing their own emotional well-being as they refuse to acknowledge the reality. Just remember that it was NOT your fault and you are not responsible for their horrible behaviour. While mutually harmful and violent relationships can exist abusive relationships are based on a power imbalance and therefore there is no such a thing as “mutually abusive”. You are nothing like your abuser.

dear people who want to break the habit of interrupting others: when you interrupt someone and they stop talking, do not say what you were going to. apologize and ask them to continue. if they say “it’s fine, you can talk,” tell them “you were talking first,  i interrupted. go ahead.” i know that it is difficult to stop interrupting in general, but start by trying not to allow yourself to benefit from it.

anonymous asked:

What will happen to Max (and Featherstone and Idelle) when Rogers returns as a governor after the debtor's prison? Will she be powerful enough for him not to harm her? Will he even suspect that she was behind Guthrie's plan to remove him?

well the vital piece of information you’re missing here anon is that the second rogers is released from debtors’ prison he is (DARN HIS LUCK) plucked off the ground by an unbelievably large bird and then carried off to a remote island somewhere. oddly enough, all that can be found on this island are a couple of drawings of one jack rackham wearing a very large grin, and a note nailed to a tree that reads, “sucks to be you”

max, anne, mary, jack, idelle, and featherstone are all enjoying a drink, a pleasant breeze, and the comforting hurdy gurdy, and are none the wiser

“but jess that’s not wha-”

THE STORIES WE WANT TO BELIEVE THOSE ARE THE ONES THAT SURVIVE

Okay consider this:

Hanzo and Genji reconnect after not talking to eachother for ages and Genji gives Hanzo his address for him to come stay if hes ever in town.

Anyway its Genjis birthday and Hanzo shows up as a surprise but to his horror Genji is overseas, in Nepal or something with Zenyatta for his birthday (or Swiss if you want Mercy) which is why hes face to face with Genjis best friend, McCree.

McCree is house sitting for like a few weeks and like Hanzo is kinda like “Go away im house sitting now” and McCree is like “You may be beautiful but i don’t know if you’re really who you say you are”

When in reality Hanzo refuses to stay at one of the crummy dirty motels (theres so good clean sanitary hotels where he can stay) so McCree lets Hanzo stay there after he calls up Genji and tells McCree that he is indeed who he says he is.

Then they house sit together because McCree uses ‘You’re visiting from Japan you’re gonna need a tour guide" or something as a excuse to spend time with him.

Anyway they get to know eachother and Hanzo ends up cooking a dinner and lets McCree have some and at this point McCree us like “Hes perfect, hes beautiful he looks like Linda Evangelista“ and the next day Hanzo reluctantly gives into McCree and lets him take him sight seeing and then they kiss kiss fall inlove

Then when Genji gets home a few weeks later he finds both of them naked on his couch after they engaged in sensual activites and then he burns the couch and kicks them out for defiling his home.

Irony and Storytelling: Part 2 - Dany, Jonsa, and the Iron Throne

So. The previous post of this heading was my basic thesis for where I see ASOIAF / GOT heading, and gives a broader overview of my reading of this series and show as 1. deliberately structured on the basis of ironic narrative reversal and 2. deeply invested in the nature of storytelling itself. Now, in this post I want to take a look at how this might play out in terms of specific characters and story arcs - specifically here, the brewing Jon/Dany/Sansa love triangle and where each of them will end up by the finale.

My working theory: Dany will become a villain, and Jon and Sansa will marry each other.

Keep reading

6

we should be so proud that over 60% of young people showed up and voted in the last uk general election. unfortunately the establishment corporate media still wants to vilify young people because they know that we want a truly progressive left government. you’ll see in the coming weeks all the neoliberal centrists and right-wing elites trying their best to hold onto power. they are probably going to continue down that dead end road until their last breath.

meanwhile we will continue to make progress. over 35 000 people joined the labour party in the last 5 days. most of those people saw the direction that jeremy corbyn has taken the party in and now have some hope that we can get back to making a society for the many not the few. this is just the beginning. don’t ever be discouraged even as they try to blame millennials and claim that we’re all just naive. these are the same people who’ve misjudged every political event in the last 2 years and refuse to understand the reality of living under austerity. history will prove us correct.

Never Ever.

Jaebum x reader

synopsis“After all these time of me hurting you, why?” “Because Jaebum, never ever, I would fall out of love with you.” 

word count: 1356

genre: angst

“I love you.”

A salty, wet drop of vapor rolled down onto your cheek as you shot up from the bed, eyes darting across the dim room to a small bed table. Stretching your hands towards the digital alarm clock to tap the button, causing the artificial light to shine all over your room, displaying the time “3:07a.m.”

“I love you.” The words that used to haunt you the most at 3am somehow found its way into your head again: Jaebum’s never ending, soothing voice roaming the halls of your head, locked inside the depths.

Keep reading

amon, knight of justice

As pointed out by @purgatoryandme​ the imagery here is of Amon’s face being uncovered like the lower half of a knight’s mask being taken off, while at the same time Takizawa’s face is being covered up by his Kakuja mask taking that same knight helmet like shape. 

It’s a vivid image for sure, but what exactly does this mean, along with all the other knight imagery that has been quite common in Tokyo Ghoul, and what does it mean for the characters this imagery gets associated with? 

Keep reading

Wait, she understands? (College! AU)

Jun x reader (ft. Minghao)

synopsis: Jun and Minghao were having a conversation in Chinese and indirectly told you that Jun has a crush on you -without knowing that you had Chinese lessons since the age of 6. “(Chinese to English translations are in the brackets)”

word count: 1329

genre: fluff fluffy fluff // College! AU

It was unusual for the library to be this packed during school hours: sounds of doorsteps shuffling across the floor, students whispering to each other, padded bangs of books closing, and the dull beeping sound of books being borrowed. Nobody ever care that this place existed before, why is there suddenly so many people today? You thought as your gaze wandered around the library hall, searching for your friend who asked you to join her in the library to finish some homework.

Grabbing your shoulder from behind, your friend had already spotted you, she called “Y/N! Hey, we’re sitting over there.” She greeted you while pointing towards the table around the corner, with only two empty seats. “Ugh, the library is so packed today. All because of that new foreign kid.”

“Vernon?”

Keep reading

4

Class Appreciation Week, Day 7: Post whatever you want!

“… at the end of the day, they’re just children. They can’t cope with this.”

The Doctor’s appearance is a strange moment, really. Sweeping in with a few quick and supposedly easy lessons to teach before abandoning Coal Hill to the care of a few scared teenagers is a discordant note in a melody that will prove far more complex. Of course, in these brief moments, we are offered only a simplified version of this character, but it serves as an interesting counterpoint, contrasting the basic tenets of Class and Doctor Who..

In a Doctor Who setting, dangerous aliens are fun, words and clever ideas make for entertaining resolutions an putting four teenagers in mortal peril on a weekly basis could be just an adventure. As serious and as complicated as Doctor Who can get, in the end, the next story will likely start with a Doctor and a companion, happy encounter a new source of danger. Here, this is juxtaposed with the grittier, less fantastical reality of our five protagonists.

Keep reading

Every morning when I wake up, my mother sees my dead looking eyes and asks “what’s wrong?”
And every morning I tell her,
“Nothing at all”
After all, nothing is wrong. The moon is still revolving around earth, and earth is still revolving around the sun. The birds are still chirping, this city is still buzzing.
And this is how life is supposed to be isn’t it? Sometimes soul mates aren’t meant to be together, sometimes one becomes unhealthy for the other. So you move on, find new people to love and you never allow yourself to wonder
“will I ever love anyone else I meet the same way I loved them?”
But I’m an over thinker, and that question is always on the back of mind.
“will I ever really be able to move on?”
“If nothing is wrong, then why do you have that look on your face?” my mother asks again.
And I don’t know what else to do except to shrug at her and walk away.
Because nothing is wrong.
Nothing is wrong, but I still wake up half dazed because I would rather be in dreamland than in a reality that refuses to acknowledge my pain.
Nothing is wrong, yet my chest is always tight and there’s a constant imaginary lump in my throat; just on the verge of crying but not quite there.
Nothing is wrong at all, but I suck at goodbyes; and even more so at talking about it.
Nothing is wrong, but nothing is right either.
—  and life goes on, apparently. // a.b
ew.com
'The Flash': What's Next for Barry and Iris?
EPs Andrew Kreisberg and Todd Helbing, along with stars Candice Patton and Grant Gustin, tease what’s coming up as Savitar’s threat looms

The lesson they both came to learn during the crossover, though — as was the Music Meister’s goal — was that love is enough. Thus, upon returning to the real world, Barry sang the Pasek and Paul-penned love song “Runnin’ Home to You” to Iris, culminating in a true proposal. So, what’s next for the couple?

They grow closer and closer,” executive producer Andrew Kreisberg tells EW. “They’re both realizing that, like anybody, you don’t know how long you have together, so they’re trying to make every moment count.

While their romance is back on track, Patton notes it will be placed somewhat on the back burner as there are more pressing issues to deal with. “We’re not going to see wedding bells anytime soon, or wedding planning, because the most imminent situation is Iris’ impending death,” Patton says. “So that’s what we’ll be focusing on for the rest of the season, is making sure that prophecy does not come true.”

Though Barry has had his doubts when it comes to his ability to save Iris while being in a relationship with her, “We’ll see him moving forward with as much confidence as he can have right now with everything that’s happening,” Gustin says, noting that Barry has had blind faith all season that he will somehow persevere. “He lost it for a second and he’s got it back,” Gustin says. “He refuses to accept the reality that she will die.”

However, that doesn’t mean the couple won’t have concerns along the way. “They’re both fighting this, how do I be positive that we’re going to stop this while at the same time being realistic that maybe we don’t?” Kreisberg says. “It’s that push and pull. Like any couple, one starts to lose faith and the other one pulls them back up and vice versa. It’s an interesting dynamic that neither of them wants to wallow, and yet they’re struggling to keep going forward.

“From reading the scripts, I have to say, she is very strong,” Patton says of how Iris is handling her possible doom moving forward. “She’s accepting that this could be her potential fate. You get to this point in your life where, if you have a terminal illness, you accept that’s a possibility and you start to plan for that. We’ll see Iris deal with those thoughts and emotions as the season plays out.”

Part of looking to the future, however, does not include wedding planning. “We will see that come up in episode 21,” Gustin teases. “It’s brought up for the first time, but it’s the fact that we haven’t been dealing with it is what’s brought up, that we haven’t had time. There’s more of just trying to save her life; it’s the more pressing matter at this point.”

Still, fellow executive producer Todd Helbing notes that this journey will only make the couple stronger. “Now it’s really the two of them as a unit trying to figure out how to stop Savitar and keep her alive,” Helbing says. “While they’ve never been closer, there’s a lot more pressure than there ever has been on them as a couple. They have to figure out how to work through the biggest tragedy that could befall them in the future.”

anonymous asked:

i don't understand why izuku was so upset at the end could you explain; in sorry i'm kinda dumb haha

You’re not dumb, anon! There’s a lot happening in the manga right now, especially emotions-wise, and I’m not sure if I got it completely right, either. But I will try to explain how I interpreted Izuku’s emotions.

First of all, there is Izuku’s rather, uh “bumpy” start into his internship. He was confronted with Nighteye, All Might’s sidekick he didn’t even know about. He must have been nervous enough about that meeting, but to top it off, Nighteye also threw at his face that Mirio had been All Might’s supposed successor, and that he won’t acknowledge Izuku.

So there are already multiple things going on inside Izuku’s mind there, just from that. There is a sidekick he didn’t know about – why did All Might not tell him? Why did he not want to let Izuku meet Nighteye? What had happened between them? I’m sure Izuku was worrying about that since hearing about Nighteye for the first time.

Then, there’s the fact that Izuku had always a lot of insecurity when it came to himself. He had been quirkless, he is still a bit of a crybaby, he doesn’t have much experience… hearing that Mirio, who is so strong and experienced had been supposed to become the successor and that Izuku just was lucky to be the first out of the two of them to meet All Might must have been a hard hit and let some of his old insecurities resurface. And Nighteye, who knows All Might quite well, is sure that Mirio would have been a better choice. And even worse, All Might had known about Mirio, but never told Izuku about it, not even when Izuku had already met Mirio. So Izuku perhaps worries why All Might still keeps so many secrets from him. (And, just to mention – All Might said that he met Izuku first and gave him his quirk before he could give it to Mirio. He didn’t say that he himself thinks that Izuku was the better choice – I’m sure that hurts a bit, too.)

On top of that, Izuku only now seems to start to understand the state of body and mind (but especially the state of mind) All Might had been in six years ago, and is in even now. When the two of them met for the first time, Toshinori was fairly collected about his state – “I have a large scar, miss a few organs, can be a hero for only three hours, there you go, that’s it”. He seemed to have to come to terms with it, having settled into this life he was living now, after his injury.

Izuku realizes now that this is not the truth. Six years ago, All Might was despairing over the fact that he no longer could be a hero, could no longer protect society. He was ready to fling himself – broken and beat as he was – into the fight again and again and again, endangering his very life (and his legacy) just to keep going and doing his job. He was refusing to face reality – to face the fact that he couldn’t be the Number One and a pillar anymore. He still felt responsibility for the world. And he does even now, and Izuku is starting to realize that. All Might is still trying to keep up the façade of him being stronger than he really is, just so he won’t disappoint those who believe in him. He is still doing training, as if he is going to fight against villains again anytime.

Izuku is now confronted by the fact that his idol, his mentor, has taken more psychological damage than physical one, and he never noticed before.

And in the end, they didn’t really settle things. All Might rushed his story out and then continued his jogging, unable to face Izuku and gauge his reaction. Izuku, probably, still has things he wants to say and know, but he doesn’t dare to ask, doesn’t know how to. He is left standing there, wanting to question, wanting to help his mentor, but he is not given the possibility to do so. He is helpless.

Phew. That got out of hand, I’m sorry! XD But yeah, that’s how I interpreted Izuku being upset.