Dog Rescues Tennis Ball from Crevasse

Oliver, a Golden Retriever from the Boston, MA area, has rescued a family of five tennis balls that had fallen into a crevasse that opened up near his house. 

“The snow has been so bad here this winter that we’re starting to see a massive ice sheet form in the backyard,” said Oliver’s roommate James McCalla. “It’s dangerous out there – you never know where the ice might split open. It’s three feet deep in most places. Sometimes even three and a half.”

According to McCalla, Oliver noticed that tennis balls at the bottom of one crevasse while out on “walkies.”

“He didn’t even hesitate,” said McCalla. “He just dove right in and rescued the balls. He’s a hero, if you ask me. They’d have been out there until spring if not for Ollie.”

Local media is reporting that the tennis balls are now resting comfortably in Oliver’s doggy bed.

Via cturn3r.

Frustrated Dog Returns Gap Sweater After 3-Hour Fitting Session

A Pekingese named King Kong finally threw in the towel…er, sweater on Friday after a marathon clothes fitting session in which he simply could not make a promising Gap sweater work.

“He struggled with it for about three hours,” says Hila Stein, a source close to the dog and his fashion sense. “He was really into the stripes and the knit was extremely comfortable. But in the end, he just couldn’t get his chubby head through the neck hole.”

Witnesses claim they saw Kong walking sheepishly to the returns counter at a local outlet mall the very same day.

“He was bummed out, but I always say, if it’s not a slam dunk fit, you’ll regret it,” Stein adds.

via @kingkong_vely

CIA Identifies Suspect In Russian Hack of U.S. Election

The alleged Russian hacker behind the leak of thousands of Democratic National Committee documents in July has been exposed, thanks to some crafty counter-espionage by the Central Intelligence Agency.

“Our cyber warfare specialists have reverse-engineered a data cache and recovered an image from the hacker’s webcam moments before the attack,” said CIA director John Brennan in a statement on Tuesday. “The suspect appears to be a Doge.”

But the identity of the Shiba Inu is being hotly debated in the intelligence community.

“Facial recognition scans are still inconclusive,” says Herman Caufman, a technology consultant who has a number of defense department contracts. “It’s a little insensitive to say it, but a lot of Shibas look the same – at least to a computer.”

The algorithms have surfaced two possible identities of known Russian cyber criminals: Malinov Nikolayevich and Kirigin Fyodor (Fedya) Filippovich. But intelligence experts warn these matches are only about 60% conclusive.

“There’s a strong chance he isn’t even in our databases,” says Caufman. “While this is a huge lead in the investigation, there’s probably a lot more of good old fashioned spying to be done.”

via WhoDatNoy

Starbucks in Hot Water Over Anti-Pug Policy

Ubiquitous coffee retailer Starbucks is facing controversy over its recent store policy which prohibits pugs from purchasing coffee.

“It’s outrageous,” says Tiffany Wainright, who created a petition to upend the policy on, which, as of this writing, has 34,000 signatures. “Pugs are people too, and they occasionally need a pick-me-up. Why shouldn’t they be allowed to have Starbucks coffee? It’s pure discrimination.”

In a statement released on Starbucks’ website earlier today, the coffee giant responded to the uproar, stating: “We love dogs and dog owners who enjoy our products with their pets. But coffee is not healthy for dogs, and we cannot support anyone giving it to them. To ensure the health and safety of pets, we have prohibited serving coffee to them across all of our stores.”

This story is developing, and will be updated accordingly.

via Mograph_Artist

Rescue Party Finds Chihuahua in Blanket Cave After 4-Hour Search

Nico the chihuahua has been extracted from a complex network of blanket caves after a four hour search, according to a statement by the Ford County Sheriff’s Department.

“Our citizens and our emergency responders can rest easy tonight, knowing that Nico is safe,” said Captain Arnold Gomez, the officer leading the rescue operation. “It seems the pup dug himself a cozy den to keep warm and just went a little too deep.”

The search was organized when concerned friends and family noticed Nico did not come running at the sound of the can opener.

“He’s never one to miss a meal,” says Rachel Fitzgerald, who filed the original missing pup report. “That’s when we knew something was wrong.”

Sources close to the situation say Nico is resting comfortably on the couch, avoiding contact with all blankets and pillows for the time being.

via @daishizen

BREAKING: Cat Finds Lost TV Remote After 7 Years

A local cat named Gus has located a TV remote control that was thought to be lost for the last seven years, according to officials who arrived on the scene earlier today.

“He was rooting around under the couch for pillow fuzz when he saw something long and black,” says officer John Winslow of the San Diego police department. “It was the Panasonic remote we’ve been looking for all this time.”

The remote was misplaced in 2009, and after two thorough sweeps of the house, was declared lost for good by authorities.

“We’ve been walking up to the TV and manually changing the channels,” Richard Helmsworth, the owner of the television, tells The Fluffington Post. “It was horrible. We’re grateful to Gus and his keen eye. We’re just glad this nightmare is finally over.”

via @eunho_goya