reflects obsessions

the prince of the playground / a kara & mon-el playlist(listen)

i. ugly heart (g.r.l.) ii. really don’t care (demi lovato) iii. alphabet boy (melanie martinez) iv. mama knows best (jessie j) v. suga mama (fifth harmony) vi. bills, bills, bills (destiny’s child) vii. you gotta not (little mix) viii. the worst (jhene aiko) ix. same old love (selena gomez) x. f*** apologies (jojo ft. wiz khalifa) xi. you’re such a (hailee steinfeld) xii. on my mind (ellie goulding) xiii. survivor (destiny’s child) xiv. irreplaceable (beyoncé) we know (fifth harmony) xv. boy (little mix) xvi. how ya doin’? (little mix) xvii. going nowhere (little mix) xviii. advice (kehlani) xix. reflection (fifth harmony) xx. obsessed (mariah carey) xxi. shake it off (mariah carey)

BONUS: xxii. knew better (part two) (ariana grande) xxiii. don’t hurt yourself (beyoncé)

credit cover: @mondlers

anonymous asked:

Why do you think Jake was running away from Dirk and complaining about him? I just can't imagine what was happening in his head to do such things, also I have a hard time believing that Jake loves Dirk romantically although I want to. I've been reading your analysis and I'm still not sure.

So remember when this was going on:

While Grandpa was off doing…fucking this:

Jake’s fundamental problem is the same as Grandpa’s: Escapism. In Grandpa, that misery and desire for escapism seems to grow into outright delusion–the guy seems plain old not that in touch with reality.

That’s how Jake operates when he has problems he doesn’t like and he doesn’t want to do better. Jake runs away because Dirk is needy and suffocating–the dude ain’t perfect, and he’s not any better at talking about his problems than Jake is because he likes to pretend they don’t exist by subsuming them into his (fake as shit) hypercapable persona.

But Dirk was needy and suffocating in the first place at least partly because Jake had already hurt his feelings pretty badly several times over, and led Dirk to believe he was most likely straight. Jake is aware of this!

But Jake would, in all things, prefer to resolve his conflicts in a way that doesn’t require him to acknowledge or address any way he might have possibly fucked up or hurt his friend’s feelings. That’s why neither of them can make actual progress on improving their relationship–Jake is as willfully ignorant about the core of their issues as Dirk is willfully burying them to keep up his front. And neither of them will likely talk about how Jake really felt about Brobot or about the whole AR situation for that exact same reason. Jake is busy immediately trying to forget any of that existed or could, in fact, have been parsed as a problem. Dirk is terrified of hearing Jake’s real answer. 

My friend Sburb (who I mysteriously can’t tag?? sorry about that) made a really good point about Jake’s planet–Xenon. Xenon can be used as an anesthetic, numbing one’s perception of the world, and that lines up with Jake’s modus operandi perfectly. It’s not that Jake doesn’t like Dirk, but that he is deeply terrified of confrontation and numbs himself to any possibility that may require it. Like, it’s no mistake that Jake’s innate sense of happiness and ignorance ramp up in intensity PRECISELY to match the most depressing thing he’s confronted with–Erisolsprite. Jake knows how miserable and angry Erisol is on some level, but acknowledging that would be really sad and require Jake to do something probably uncomfortable! So he doesn’t, and he pretends there isn’t a problem instead. Like. Really aggressively.

After like SIX MONTHS of enjoying Dirk’s company despite all these issues on BOTH their ends, long past the point when people who weren’t teenagers who don’t know what they’re doing would have sat down and said “Ok there’s definitely a problem here, let’s talk about it,”–yeah, all these underlying problems stress Dirk out enough that he gets to be too much for Jake and he runs away. Where he goes right on thinking about Dirk all the time, subjecting Jane to long rambles about him, and when Caliborn comes calling Jake spends his time making comments like this:

Which is A) Trolling Caliborn to some extent and really fucking funny, I love you Jake, B) Indication that Jake is now a lot more comfortable positioning himself as mlm than he was when talking to Jane, and C) That last one is obviously a reference to Dirk that Jake is making intentionally. Jake is, again, sharper than he’s given credit for. He knows what classpects are and he’s spent six months in a session where there’s exactly four of them. Even while running away, Jake is still making comments about Dirk that would absolutely be flirting if he were talking to the guy himself, and still largely thinking positively about him. 

Jake running away doesn’t reflect his feelings for Dirk. It reflects his obsessive need to avoid confrontation, and his willingness to believe anything he can tell himself to avoid it. 

speaking of Delilah’s self-absorption and need to be important, I also think it’s interesting how titles of her paintings shift their focus depending on Delilah’s relationships with the subjects. Let’s take a look at the inner circle.

Luca, His Eyes On Me” reflects his obsession with Delilah and curiously lacks any comment on her impact on him. Almost every other title talks about meaningful, impactful change Delilah brought to a person - “I Am the Ruin of His House,” “Her Heart, I Bathed in Poison”, “Her Face is My Smile”, etc. Yet she doesn’t seem to care about her impact on Luca besides the fact that he watches her every move. He is obsessed with her, he covers the entire city in incredibly expensive banners with her face on them, he spends nights in her bedroom, he makes musicians play day and night in front of her silver statue and fantasizes about said statue coming alive and visiting his bed. It shows how little he understands of her or her magic, but he is devoted nonetheless. The Heart says that Delilah “thinks about him sometimes, but only as someone might think of a favored pet.” That’s all Luca Abele is to her, and she is just not interested in what he is aside of him being ready to lick her boots and fight a war on her behalf.

“My Fires Burn within Breanna’s Marrow” is something different, it’s not about superficial adoration, it’s about her inspiring and loving Breanna Ashworth, literally being the fire that gives her life. It’s much more personal and devoted, it implies permanent connection on both sides, not the one-way impact like the other paintings. Delilah’s effect on Breanna is profound and unparalleled, she was her freedom, her love, her salvation, her goddess and her revelation. She knows everything about Breanna down to her marrow - and owns it too. There’s also an underlying context of Arcane Bond between them, we can see from her letter how thankful Breanna is to Delilah for opening her connection with the Void, how excited she is to feel “the strange winds” of it. And this is why when you take away Breanna’s magic, Delilah abandons her. From Delilah’s point of view, her flames within Breanna died out.

Interestingly, it’s the ONLY two paintings that have names in their titles. Everyone else is “he” or “she” (or “craftsman”, but we’ll get to the science goblin next). It’s two of the most devoted people in her life, the only two she reached from the Void, the only two deserving of names. Even if she doesn’t care about Luca as a person, he worships her wholeheartedly, and it is what Delilah ultimately wants from people, so he still is more valuable to her than others.

In contrast, “I Look Upon the Craftsman” doesn’t just lack a name in the title - it lacks even a pronoun, which *every* other painting gets. Even the goddamn tree is “she”. “Craftsman” is distant and impersonal. It also lacks an active action, an impact - “look upon” is observational, curiously passive for Delilah who yearns to leave her mark on people. She and Kirin Jindosh are obviously not close. They basically use each other in a mutually beneficial way. But for Delilah, the most important thing she wants from people is worship. And Jindosh is not going to worship her, he states plainly that he doesn’t even care who’s the Empress. He also wants to solve her, like he does with everyone else (his painting is the only one staring back uncomfortably) and Delilah does not appreciate this. In her letter to him, we see that he asked her about the Void and her connection, and Delilah puts him in his place - she says that wonders of the Void are innumerable and she witnessed them, but he doesn’t have a slightest hope of imagining them. She tells him to be content with seeing slightly more than common people. Basically, she tells him that gifted craftsman is all he’ll ever be. Delilah is wary of Jindosh, resentful for not being able to affect him, and looks down on him for his limits within the common world.

I Regard Her, Within and Without” is different. It’s also distant, but though “regard” and “look upon” might seem close, they are not similar. “Regard” implies not only observation, but also respect. There’s also an underlying sense of Delilah’s power over Hypatia, - “Within and Without,” - we know that she is controlled through Luca Abele. But “Regard Within and Without” also translates a fascination of all aspects of Hypatia. There’s sadly absolutely zero shown interaction between them in-game, but Alexandria Hypatia is obviously not someone who Delilah sees as mundane. 

Reminders: Slow down. Stop skipping steps. Pause. Reflect. Feel. Don’t obsess. Enjoy the moment. Trust that everything will work out for the best. Listen to your intuition. You are worthy of being loved and someone will see that one day. It might be now. It might be twenty years from now. But it is not the most important thing. Keep going. See where it goes. Do it for the story. Breathe. Take life one moment at a time. You will not be disappointed.

Know that I am absorbed by my work. These landscapes of water and reflections have become an obsession. It is beyond my power as an old man, and yet I want to manage to render what I feel. I have destroyed some… Some I’ve begun again… and I hope that out of so many efforts, something will emerge.
—  Claude Monet, to a friend in 1908.

anonymous asked:

my sister and i's names ring like something an author put too much thought into, even though its just that my parents were lazy and chose random names. hers means 'death' and mine means 'life', and our last name is rose, a colour and a flower. and also a first name. jesus christ ive been called rose too many damn times

and yet my name, Kira, is cooler than yours because it reflects my mother’s obsession with star trek. 

i win the name game, i was named by a nerd. 

3

Karamatsu Girls (and Boys)! We all need touch-ups throughout the day. And while we may not be as vain as our resident reflection-obsessed brother (or are we?), making sure your hair isn’t doing something crazy or that you have nothing stuck in your teeth is important. These little pocket mirrors hide away great in pockets and purses for those impromptu little check-ups that you’ll want throughout the day.

In celebration of putting these up on my Etsy, I’m doing a giveaway for 3 winners! Each winner will be able to choose their preferred photo and border color. See the product page for more details! 

How to enter:
1. Follow me. I post Osomatsu-san 90% of the time. I feel like we’ll get along.
2. Reblog and/or like this post (max 2 entries).
3. USA only. Sorry, past giveaways have resulted in lost mail when going overseas. If you’re overseas and really want one, you can buy through Etsy since they protect both of us!

And that’s all! Disclaimer: this is entirely fanmade merchandise and not in any way official. Any questions? Feel free to ask! The winners will be announced December 28.

(PS, don’t want to wait? Use code tuneout on my Etsy for 15% off your order and get it in time for Christmas!)

Heidi Montag Is Pregnant, Expecting First Child With Husband Spencer Pratt

Heidi Montag and Spencer Pratt are the latest Hills alums to share some baby news.

The former reality stars reveal to Us Weekly that after eight years of marriage, they’re expecting their first child on Oct. 19. “I thought she was about to say she made muffins or banana bread,” Pratt, 33, recalls the moment his wife told him the news. “Heidi said, ‘I’m pregnant.’ I was like, 'Whoa, that’s way more exciting than banana bread!’”

EXCLUSIVE: Heidi Montag Reflects on Plastic Surgery Obsession – 'I Became Consumed by This Character I Was Playing’

“I started crying, and he embraced me,” Montag, 30, says of the moment.

Pratt adds that this pregnancy was definitely planned. “Heidi has wanted to be a mom since the day I met her,” he notes. “She has planned for and thought about this.”

“I wanted a baby three years ago,” Montag shares with Us. “Spencer was a little hesitant. Then one thing after another came up. We had work obligations, like Celebrity Big Brother in the U.K., which I did not want to be pregnant for. I’m actually really thankful we waited. I thought I was ready in my twenties, but with everything we had going on, it just wouldn’t have been a good situation for us.”

EXCLUSIVE: Heidi Montag and Spencer Pratt Admit Their Finances Are Tough, Defend Their Villainous Role on The Hills

While Montag admits that she and Pratt aren’t sure if they want to learn the sex of their baby before the birth, she is “hoping for a boy.”

“I’ve always wanted a boy first,” she says.

“Yep. First! I’d love to have a son and for the Pratt name to continue,” Pratt chimes in, agreeing with his wife.

WATCH: What The Hills Cast Looks Like Over 10 Years Later! Plus, Find Out What Everyone Is Up to Now

In an interview with Faithwire last September, Montag revealed that she had babies on the brain. “I had to pray to get my husband to even agree to have a kid, and so this whole journey over the last few years, I have had to do,” she confessed. “It is not so easy. Not everyone can just have kids whenever they want. There is a lot of hardship and prayers and certain things you have to put into that.”

The couple aren’t the only MTV reality stars expecting this year. In January, Lauren Conrad revealed that she too is pregnant.

Many alums from The Hills as well as Laguna Beach have focused their attention on family in recent years. Audrina Patridge and Kristin Cavallari both have kids, while Whitney Port, Jason Wahler and Talan Torriero are expecting.

In a recent interview with ET, Cavallari gushed over Conrad’s pregnancy, saying, “I’m so happy for her, and it’s cool to see the evolution of everybody from The Hills and Laguna Beach and to see how everyone is growing up. It’s been really fun to watch!”

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This week, and for the next few weeks, we will be looking a little more closely at numismatic collections, and particularly at numismatic museums and numismatic exhibitions. Today, I want to talk about the lovely Numismatic Museum in Athens. 

The Numismatic Museum is a fantastic collection (one the blogger has visited before and will be seeing again in early October) on the basis of its contents alone, but it is made all the more special by its home, the home of the famous archaeologist Heinrich Schliemann, who excavated the sites of Troy and Mycenae in the late 19th century. The building is a neoclassical wonder, full of details that reflected Schliemann’s near-obsession with the ancient world, and it was considered to be the most opulent private residence in Athens when it was completed in 1880.

The collection itself is, as expected, very strong in Greek numismatics of the classical period, though it also has a strong Hellenistic collection. The galleries follow the development of coinage from its earliest days to the present and over 600,000 coins, medals, and associated objects are in its care. The museum also has an extensive numismatic book collection and research library. 

Super duper late Witchsona! This year I’m a BATTLE WITCH. Definitely reflective of my recent obsession with D&D. 

Click here to see it animated!

I had help designing it during the stream. It was a fun, collaborative experience! Will be posting a time-lapse of the stream later this week. 

Our Favorite Books from 2015

We’ve compiled votes from our editors, and these thirty are the books we loved most in 2015. Ten are fiction, ten are nonfiction, and ten are reissues. As time marches forward, these books may be getting older, but we think they’re here to stay.

FICTION

The Story of My Teeth by Valeria Luiselli (Coffee House Press, tr. Christina MacSweeney)

Originally commissioned as a project by Jumex, the Mexican juice company, The Story of My Teeth is a novel as playful as it is profound. In the guise of Gustavo (Highway) Sànchez Sànchez, Luiselli has pulled apart and expanded the map of what a story can be to reveal new territory.

Fuck Seth Price by Seth Price (Leopard Press)

A thoughtful manifesto of contemporary art and literature. Price, a contemporary artist himself, writes with a healthy balance of cynicism and sincerity, academic distance and auto-fictional intimacy.

Memory Theater by Simon Critchley (Other Press)

An erudite novella about ancient mnemonic techniques, with the fun musings on death and classical philosophy that Critchley (first-time novelist, long-time philosopher) has become known for.

Satin Island by Tom McCarthy (Knopf)

Tom McCarthy’s Satin Island is what it might be like if Water Benjamin surfed the internet: a series of digressions, reflection and obsessions that builds into a story both utterly contemporary and oddly sublime.

The Guilty by Juan Villoro (George Braziller, tr. Kimi Traube)

Magical realism is fun, but someone still has to clean up afterwards. Villoro’s stories, always beleaguered but never brooding, sift soberly through the debris and extract an earthbound, workaday kind of enchantment.

Vertigo by Joanna Walsh (Dorothy, a Publishing Project)

Supple, floating stories that unfold like memories almost too painful to recall in an affectless voice that can be digressive or disarmingly direct but which is ultimately devastating.

Gold Fame Citrus by Claire Vaye Watkins (Riverhead Books)

An end-of-the-world novel set in the Mojave Desert, Watkins’ much-anticipated debut draws on California lore—from cults and conservationists to mining tunnels and movie stars—but arrives at an unprecedented adventure story that asks us to consider what is worth saving when all is lost.

Keep reading

anonymous asked:

I have a question: what's the most difficult case you've ever worked?

This question has been sitting in my inbox for a while and I’ve put off answering it because the answer is one of my own dogs and I was feeling kind of… I don’t know… defeated about it? But you know what, f*ck it. 

Here’s the story of Misty & Me

We got her when I was about 10 years old- something like that. We had an older Golden Retriever/Lab mix named Duke at the time, but he was so closely bonded to my mom and I was always jealous of that connection they shared. I started begging my parents for a dog of my own probably as soon as I could put together a coherent sentence. 

They got me a kitten and let me join a 4-H club when I was seven and that stopped the begging… for about a month. They honestly thought that if they gave me full responsibility over a kitten, I’d realize it was too much work and stop asking for a dog. But nope, I relished in it. I doted over that damn cat so much they were almost concerned. I don’t really know what they were expecting, they couldn’t get me to go home from the 4-H barn- and that was taking care of cows! So a kitten? Pshhh, child’s play. Literally. Dog, please! 

The town’s local dog pound is right behind my grandmother’s house and the kennels have an outdoor run that you can see from the street, so we would frequently, at my ever-pressing behest, drive by and look at the dogs. My mother rationalized this behavior by telling my dad we were just looking to see if any of our neighbor’s dogs were there. Uh-huh, sure mom. She was just trying to shut me the hell up. 

On one such trip, there was this black dog sitting quite sadly in the front of her run. All the other dogs barked and jumped up at their kennel doors, but not this dog. She sat there, stoic and still, and I swear I could feel her eyes imploring me to take her home. 

I begged my mom to let us get out and see if the warden was there so we could visit with her. As my mom tried to tell me we couldn’t, she walked through her dog door and disappeared. My heart sank. 

My mom had started to drive away when my brother yelled, “Look, she’s back!” 

She’d come back out into her run with her empty dog bowl in her mouth. I cried. My mom cried. My brother cried. We went home and my mom called the warden to see what her deal was. They’d found her wandering the streets by the river, no form of ID on her. She would be in holding for three days and if no one claimed her by then, she’d be available for adoption. The fee was $50. 

Three days later, as soon as I woke up I started asking if we could call and see if she was still there. My dad said no, my mom said maybe. When my brother and I got home from school, my mom sat us down and told us she’d called the animal warden. No one had claimed her and my father had, to everyone’s surprise, given us the okay to go down and pick her up. But, on the strict condition that I agreed to be her sole caretaker. I’d have to feed her and walk her and pick up her poop and brush her and give her baths and go to every single vet appointment with them. I couldn’t agree quick enough. 

That day we went over to see her. Just to see her. She was a little shy at first, but quickly warmed up to all of us and started smothering everyone with kisses. My mom pulled out her wallet, handed the guy $50, and we took her home. I cried, probably harder than I ever had in my life. My little heart was so full. 

We brought her home, opened the door… and she dove head first into our trash can. It was as if she knew where it was. 

From then on, it was a constant battle with her. Turns out, she had a long list of issues. She could easily clear the four foot chain link fence we had. We got a six foot stockade fence, which she make quick work of digging under to go on another escapade around the neighborhood. We finally had to put cement under all the fencing so she couldn’t escape. 

She had terrible separation anxiety, which made her extremely destructive in the house. So we started crate training her. We went through three crates before we finally found one that she couldn’t escape from and we still had to pad lock the latch closed or else she would bloody her nose in an attempt to open it from the inside. 

We had to put child locks on all the cabinets and the refrigerator because she figured out how to open everything. She would not only open the cabinets to go digging for treats, but she used them as a ladder to get on top of the fridge where we kept the dog cookies. She was a little too smart. 

Once, she got into the closet (still, to this day, do not know how she did it) and ate an entire 20 pound bag of dog food. We came home to find her breathing heavily, stomach distended, and drooling. My dad threw her into the back of his truck and took off for the only emergency vet in the area. Twenty minutes into the trip, he looked into the back of the truck to discover she was vomiting everything up. He turned around and drove for a while until she had nothing left in her system. From then on, we had to give her dramamine for even the shortest car trips or else she’d throw up. 

She would also eat literally anything and everything. Luckily she had an iron stomach and never got sick or had to have a foreign body removal surgery. Here’s a sampling of things she ingested: 

- an entire 40 oz bag of hershey kisses, foil and all 
- a wicker basket full of taffy (basket partially included)
- garbage… just so, so much garbage
- ALL THE CAT SH*T
- an entire box of pop tarts, found just the empty box on the floor
- so many toy squeakers that we lost count
- an entire 2 lb package of ground frozen ground beef, still frozen

She was a deft counter surfer, notorious pillow destroyer, and obsessive light-reflection-chaser. She would eat her food so quickly she’d vomit it right back up. 

She also had some more serious issues, like severe resource guarding, dog aggression (though weirdly she got along fine with Duke from the second she walked in the door), and reactivity towards strange men. It took her months to be comfortable around my father.  She flinched if you spoke too loudly, moved too quickly, or if anything in the house made a startling noise. We have no idea what her history was, but something terrible obviously happened to this poor dog. 

But, as my father had stated from the beginning, she was my responsibility and it was my job to fix her. Thankfully, I was guided toward positive reinforcement based training methods by the British lady who owned the dairy farm my 4-H club ran out of and I set off down a rabbit hole of dog training books and tapes to try to help her. 

It took literal years for the dog aggression, resource guarding, and separation anxiety to get better. I never, not for a day, stopped working with that dog until she was too old and too sore for it. We built DIY agility equipment and practiced in my backyard because we couldn’t find a trainer who would let us come to a class. 

But she turned out to be the most wonderful companion I could’ve ever asked for. 

I will forever be indebted to that damn dog for teaching me so many things and being my best friend for so many years. Throughout my tumultuous pre-teen and teenage years, she was there for me when nobody else was. I held her and cried into her fur more times than I could possibly remember. She literally licked my wounds and protected me. We hiked many, many miles together all over Connecticut and we swam in every lake, pond, river, and stream we could find. She still holds onto a very, very big piece of my heart and losing her was one of the most difficult things I’ve ever experienced. 

Misty, shortly after we brought her home. 

Say hello to 10 year old Taylor. This picture always makes me tear up. 

Hard to see her, but in the middle there. The lake was her favorite place in the world. 

Misty & the distraction kitten, Daisy. They always got on famously. 

Samson (around 12 weeks old) and Misty. 

Samson and the ol’ girl again. I always had thought of her as a “big” dog, but Samson was bigger than her by the time he was five months old. 

Samson at six months old and Misty. This was the last picture of her before we had to put her down. 

This picture is now five years old, which means it’s been six years since I lost her. 

She was the most difficult case, but the most rewarding. I will never, ever forget her.