reflection of the negative

One maladaptive coping mechanism that turns very toxic when you’re not defending against abuse is to read any uncomfortable situation as a deliberate personal attack, and sometimes extrapolate one incident into a whole pattern of malicious intent.

Examples:

  • “Hey, I have a headache, could you please lower your voice a little?”
    - “FINE I guess I just won’t say anything at all!”

  • “Hey thanks for inviting me, but I’m not feeling well, so I’m sorry but I can’t make it. Maybe (x day) instead?”
    - “Sorry for asking! I guess I’m just too needy for you!”

  • (Someone forgets to call you back.)
    - “Yeah I don’t think we’re friends anymore, she acts like she hates me.”

  • “Hey, what you just said about me was literally not true. Why did you say that?”
    - “Right, I’m just a piece of shit who should never talk at all I guess!”

  • "I don’t really feel like sex tonight.”
    - “Sorry I’m so repulsive to you!”

  • “You really hurt my feelings. Why did you do that?”
    - ”Go ahead and just break up with me, I know you’ve been wanting to.”

This kind of response escalates an interaction from a two-way conversation about a specific problem into a fight about your own self-worth. Instead of reponding to what’s actually happening or interrogating whether an attack was intended, this response immediately changes the conversation into a defensive argument where the only relevant question is if you’re an okay person that people care about.

Like I get feeling this kind of reaction, I get having a knee-jerk response of fear and shame and self-loathing. Sometimes when you’re feeling vulnerable it is very, very difficult not to read super far into anything negative. Sometimes it just reflects off all your internal fears and amplifies inside of you until a polite “no” feels like everyone you’ve ever liked is telling you they hate you.

But it is possible, with some work, to separate your feelings from your actual knowledge of the situation. It’s possible to feel one thing in your heart and still recognize with your mind that the reality is different. You can learn to notice the difference between someone actually attacking you and something just feeling like an attack because you’re extra vulnerable.

You can also learn not to react based solely on your feelings. You can learn to take another person’s actual words and actions into account and respond based on what you think - not just feel - their intent actually was. That work is as necessary as it is difficult.  

People need to be able to tell you things that aren’t overwhelmingly positive without you making them feel guilty for saying anything and treating their concerns as an attack.

Otherwise, you wind up in a position where they can’t be honest with you. They can’t say no to you, can’t tell you when something you do hurts or scares them, can’t point out worrying things as friends do to take care of each other, can’t bring up their own needs without the conversation devolving into comforting you again.

This habit interacts especially badly with the way many other trauma survivors are terrified of upsetting anyone – when your reaction to them bringing up problems or saying no is consistently disproportionate, they may find it easier to just do what you want even against their own will.

It is possible to deal with those awful feelings and get the comfort you need without resorting to lashing out when you feel bad. It’s okay to be honest about the fact your emotions don’t always line up with reality so people know what you’re going through. It’s okay to just ask for the emotional support you need or for confirmation that they mean what they say.

You may even find that when you make a continuous effort not to treat these uncomfortable experiences as crises, they deescalate and you wind up feeling more secure each time.

Look, this coping mechanism, like many forms of manipulation, is a useful survival tool in the context of an abusive relationship where you really are being attacked insidiously, and where you can’t just ask for comfort and expect to get it. But if you are no longer in that kind of situation, it’s time to reevaluate the usefulness/danger ratio and figure out what other strategies might be better for you and the people you love.

Lunar Phases - Explained 🌙

Because I kind of have my own correspondences for the phases of the moon, I thought I’d explain them here! 

  • New Moon - the moon is just beginning to become illuminated, so it can correspond with new beginnings, a fresh start, cleansing, exploring new opportunities, newfound health or relationships, finding peace with yourself and moving on - “out with the old and in with the new.”
  • Waxing Moon - the moon is continuing to grow, becoming more and more visible, so it can correspond with attraction magick, reaching goals, manifestation magick, positive energy, success, wishes, good luck, gaining wealth, and dreams come true. 
  • First Quarter - this moon is halfway illuminated, on its way to becoming fully illuminated, so it can correspond to balance, and the need to make decisions. 
  • Full Moon - the moon is fully illuminated, so it can correspond with extra energy, a magickal boost, cleansing, charging, enchanting, performing divination, and honoring lunar deities. 
  • Third Quarter - this moon is also halfway illuminated, but on its way to becoming invisible in the sky, therefore while it can still correspond with balance, it can also correspond to focusing on the task at hand, banishing, and breaking old habits. 
  • Waning Moon - the moon is becoming less illuminated, and seems as though it’s disappearing, so it can correspond to generalized negative energy, reflection, introspection, transformation of the self, banishing things, binding others actions or undoing bindings, letting go, moving on, cleansing, breaking bad habits, and finding peace. 
  • Dark Moon - the moon is completely hidden in the sky, with no illumination at all, so it can correspond to cursing, banishing, binding, seeking justice, reflection of the self, and generalized destruction. 
  • Blue Moon - this moon is either the third of four full moons in a season, or a second full moon in a month, so it’s appearance can correspond to wishes, dreams, divination, achievement, and focus. 
  • Black Moon - this moon is an additional new moon that appears in a month or in a season, or the absence of a full moon or of a new moon in a month, therefore it can correspond to extra power and manifestation. 

anonymous asked:

What's your stance on the drama surrounding Thomas sanders?

There’s drama surrounding Thomas Sanders? If there is that’s the first I’ve heard of it. One sec….

Okay apparently people are on him because he includes ace/aro people in the LGBTQIA+ community? And that’s a sin? Okay… I read his response on that and I thought it was amazing and even eye opening. “They’re not LGBT. They’re ‘A’” What’s wrong with making a little more room at the table for people with marginalized identities? It’s not like the queer community is an exclusive club. We’re all supposed to be there for each other. Even if you disagree on this…so?? Is that really a valid reason to hate a person?

And…he reblogged nsfw artwork he didn’t know was made by a minor and apologized for it. Cool. Good on him. He’s a human and everyone makes slip-ups. I swear I can’t stand the callout culture on this site. Stop treating mistakes by well-intentioned people like irredeemable character flaws. Stop it. If you’re a bitter person you can always find a reason to hate someone. But that reflects negatively on you, not them.

Thomas always tries his hardest to do the right thing and be as inclusive and understanding as possible. I hate how the internet tries so hard to completely demonize well-intentioned people over disagreements and/or honest slip-ups. He’s one of the kindest people I know and he does a heck of a better job than I do at being an all-around inclusive sweetheart who responds kindly to all kinds of hate and slander. I support him completely.

anonymous asked:

hello my friend believes someone put a curse on him & I want to help out but I'm not sure what I can do. Can you give me any ideas or perhaps an unbinding spell I can use?

Sometimes just believing you’ve been cursed, even if you haven’t, can be enough to bring about some gross junk into your life. However, sometimes bad things just happen with no explanation or reason. 

I believe it is important that your friend really think out why he believes someone cursed him - has he pissed off a witch recently? Has someone hinted at that prospect? If not, I am sure he is fine.

Otherwise…

Protection from Curses

Decoys

(a decoy acts as a “substitute” for you, where the curse will be redirected to instead of harming you; the decoy can then be cleansed or destroyed to remove the curse from it)

To Break a Curse

To Send a Curse Back

There are many options, lol.

anonymous asked:

My dad says Zoo's are becoming politically incorrect. I've seen both arguments but I wanna hear your opinion on it: do you think Zoo's are a good idea?

Well, let’s see if I can keep this response short.

First, I’m guessing that by ‘politically correct’ you mean ‘ethically sound.’ So, is keeping animals in zoos an ethical thing to do? As with many things, there is no easy or even single answer to that question.

Without a doubt, there are bad zoos- private or roadside zoos, zoos that keep their animals in abhorrent conditions, zoos that allow visitors to engage in unsafe things like cub-petting schemes. It is obvious that these types of zoos are unethical and exploitative.

(Hint: something like this is never a good sign.)

On the other hand, what constitutes a ‘good’ zoo? In the best captive conditions currently available, is it okay to keep an animal locked up? Some say no, no matter what; some say what we have now isn’t good enough. Others say yes- the best zoos are able to provide their captives with good lives.

This of course brings us to just what a ‘good’ life is. Those who say that animals should never ever be placed in captivity usually value a sense of freedom above all else. Even in perfect captive conditions, an animal will not be free, wild, or ‘natural.’

However, we must acknowledge that ‘freedom’ is a concept created and defined by humans. A human locked in a prison knows the difference between captivity and freedom, and is able to conceptualize that certain ‘rights’ that they have are being violated. But for animals, this may be too complex to perceive. How far back do you have to move a fence before a kudu decides that he is wild again? The idea that animals sense when they are ‘free’ versus ‘not free’ is, to me, not realistic.

Animals do, however, benefit from the ability to be free to make choices, such as what they eat, where they will go, who they will interact with, and so on. Undeniably, captivity presents animals with fewer choices of these kinds than they would have in the wild. The best zoos are now implementing programs to accommodate these choices, particularly with highly intelligent animals such as elephants and apes.

One such example: the “O Line” at the Smithsonian National Zoo allows orangutans to choose one of two buildings to stay in during the day. Other animals, such as the otters, can choose whether or not to be on exhibit via spaces in their enclosure that are sheltered from the public. Scatter feeding and foraging enrichment is yet another way that zoos allow animals to choose what food they want to eat.

Still, despite these improvements, there will always be limitations of choice in captive environments compared to wild ones by the very definition of ‘captivity.’ Furthermore, while many strides have been taken to update enclosures with choices in mind, the fact remains that the implementation of behavioral science in zoos lags behind the research due to the costs, and often due to the stress of the animals themselves when trying to adjust to new schedules and norms (even if they are theoretically better ones).

A forty-year old captive elephant will have lived through decades of zoo reform, and we can’t erase those negative experiences from her mind.

One danger of comparing captive animals to their wild counterparts is assuming that captive environments should mirror the wild ones as closely as possible. But what the wild even is is not well-defined. ‘Wild’ deer roam my suburban neighborhood: should that habitat be replicated in their zoo enclosure? Wild environments include predators, diseases, and natural disasters: is it better that those be implemented in zoos as well?

In actuality, an animal born in captivity likely has no sense of what its natural environment should look like. Certainly it has natural instincts and inclinations- a tiger likes to urine-mark vertical objects and a gibbon likes to climb- but neither of them specifically needs a tree to do this with- a post or rope swing would also work. The ‘naturalistic’ look of many zoo enclosures is actually for the benefit of the visitors, not the animals. In fact, a lush, well-planted habitat could still be an abysmal one for an animal if all of its needs aren’t being met.

This brings us to one of the most important aspects of zoos: the visitors. Theoretically, one of the major purposes of good zoos is to educate and inspire the public about animals, particularly in regards to their conservation. But do zoos actually do this?

The answer is yes… to a small extent. People given surveys upon entering and leaving a zoo exhibit generally do know slightly more about the animals than they used to, but this depends a lot on how educated they were to begin with. While many visitors express an increased desire to engage in conservation efforts after leaving a zoo, not many of them have actually followed up on it when surveyed again a few weeks later. Still, most zoo visitors seem to leave the zoo with several positive if perhaps short-term effects: interest in conservation, appreciation for animals, and the desire to learn more. If a visitor experiences a “connection” with an animal during their visit, these effects are greatly increased.

However, certain types of animal “connections” and interactions can also produce a negative effect on zoo visitors. This reflects what I said earlier about the naturalistic design of habitats being more for the visitors than the animals. Individuals who view animals performing non-natural behaviors (such as a chimpanzee wearing clothes and acting ‘human,’ or a tiger coming up to be petted) are less likely to express an increased interest in their conservation, and even less likely to donate money towards it. Generally, our own perception of freedom and wildness matters much more than the individual animal’s.

The fact of the matter is that, worldwide, zoos spend about $350 million dollars on wildlife conservation each year. That is a tremendous amount of money, and it comes from visitors and donations. What amount of discomfort on the part of captive animals is worth that money being devoted to their wild counterparts? It’s hard to say.

This is a very, VERY general overview of some of the ethical issues surrounding zoos; to go over it all, I’d need to write a book. But hopefully, it got you thinking a little bit about what your own opinion on all this is. (I didn’t explicitly state mine on purpose, though it’s probably fairly clear.)

Refs and further reading below the cut!

Keep reading

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♡ AN END TO YOUR HAUNTING Spell ♡

Intent: to rid yourself of the negative energy caused by another, to pour that negative energy back into them if they act maliciously again, to force them to reflect on their negative impact.

Ingredients:
Dirt
Taglock (an object that sentimentally reminds you of the individual. I suggest a photograph, drawing, sample of their handwriting, or their name written on a piece of paper)
Onion Powder
Chili Powder
Thumbtack
Tin foil
Salt
Sugar

Insructions:
Safely burn the taglock and collect the ashes.
Place a small amount of dirt in the jar first, to literally ground the spell. This as the base of the spell jar also symbolizes that everything henceforth will be growing out of the dirt and the individual.
Add the ashes of the taglock next to bind this spell to them.
Pour in some onion powder to strengthen the spell and chili powder expedite it and add a kick.
Add a small piece of tin foil to force them to reflect upon their actions and acknowledge what they have done.
Add a thumbtack - this is to cause misfortune or pain to the individual if the they bring harm to someone again.
Mix together equal parts sugar and salt. Add this lastly to the jar. This should manifest a dash of mercy and empathy blossoming in them in the future, but with realistic expectations (ie, “take it with a grain of salt”).
Tie a black string around the bottle neck and secure a black feather to the string. This symbolizes release and your letting go of the individual, letting them haunt your mind no longer.
Thoroughly wash your hands with soap and water to cleanse yourself of any negative energy.
Hide in a dark place (I suggest a closet corner) for seven days, then dispose of the insides and wash the bottle out with storm water or salt water.

This may just be me, but I feel the only person who should be able to correct someone on my pronouns is me.

If I find no ill-intent with how someone refers to me, then I find no real reason to correct them.

I don’t like the idea of people correcting or getting angry about something on my behalf.  That’s up to me to decide, not anyone else.  And by doing things like that it often feels like those people are “speaking for me”, which I don’t approve of.

I have to do this all the time, and then I end up apologizing to the person who was corrected, as they meant nothing negative when speaking that way.  Often the person correcting pronouns will be aggressive and immediately take offense -for me-.  Please, do NOT take offense for me.  It is up to me to decide if I am offended by the way someone addresses me or not.  And it ends up making me look and feel horrible.

Nine times out of ten, when someone uses “incorrect pronouns” they mean no harm and often feel bad about.  Not to mention, almost everyone who tends to correct pronouns for me does not know me personally, but their actions reflect negatively on me.  Which isn’t fair to anyone involved.

This is NEW to many people and allowing ME to go at my own speed and deal with things as I see fit helps with the transition BETTER.

I do appreciate how considerate and kind most people are being towards me, but remember to be kind towards EVERYONE as well.  Assuming the worst of someone or a situation will only hurt everyone involved.

So, in conclusion, the only ones who should be able to correct anyone about how I should be addressed are myself or my partner Val.

Thanks.

Reconciliation Spell Bottle

This spell bottle is to help reconcile with an old friend or lover after you get back in touch, especially when a bad fight or hurt feelings were the reason you parted ways.

Ingredients and supplies:

  • Egg Shell
  • Juniper Berries
  • Sage 
  • Rosemary
  • Lavender
  • White and Black candles
  • Two small pieces of paper and pencil
  • A cauldron, or other safe vessel to burn things in
  • A small bottle or jar, with a lid
  • A cleansing method of your choice. I used my bundle of sage and lavender.
  • Optional: Fire-safe tongs, if you’re uncomfortable holding onto something that is burning
  • Optional: Crystals relating to your intent. I used rose quartz for love, amethyst for healing, and lapis lazuli for protection.
  • Optional: Incense relating to your intent, a cleansing incense like sandlewood, or a meditative or calming incense,
  • Optional: Moon Water

*Ideally, all of your herbs should be dried, as these are less likely to cause mold when stored long-term in a sealed container.

I started off by lighting both of my candles and my incense and reflecting on the negative feelings I was having surrounding the person in question. I then took one of my pieces of paper and wrote down the person’s name in the center, followed by all of the negative emotions literally surrounding the name on the paper. Write them as many times as you need to to feel like they are all laid down bare before you, and you have them all out. 

Once I finished, I folded this page up until the feelings were minimized in a tiny bundle, then lit it on fire with the black candle (for banishment) and dropped it in my cauldron to burn before blowing out the candle. As it burned, I repeated the words, “With this fire, I purge the negativity in my life surrounding (name).” Once the paper had burned to ashes, I brought the ashes outside and threw them to the wind to make what was left of my negativity disappear.

Next, to ensure there were no traces of the negative energy in my work-space, I cleansed the area and all of my materials with my sage and lavender bundle. I wiped out my cauldron, making sure to get every last bit of ash out, as well as wiped it clean with a bit of moon water. Once this was done, I placed my crystals into the jars containing my ingredients for an added energy boost. The lapis lazuli with my egg shells, the rose quartz with my rosemary, and the amethyst with my lavender.

As these sat and absorbed energy from the crystals, I took my second piece of paper, again, writing the name of the person in the center. Surrounding this, I wrote all of my intentions. You could also create a sigil for this, if you’re so inclined. Some of the things I wrote were, “ I am free from hurt.” “I forgive you.” “I forgive myself.” “I am free from negativity.” “I am free from guilt.” “I am full of love.” Once I felt like everything was out there and there was nothing left to say, I folded the paper just once and lit it with my white candle (for cleansing, action, and energy) and dropped it into my cauldron. As it burned, I repeated the words, “With this fire, I charge the written words so that they may be brought forth to action.”

After the paper burned, I placed those ashes in my jar, reciting, “May the ashes of my words provide the foundation for which this spell may act.”
Next, the sage: “May this sage cleanse my spirit of negativity and allow my heart the freedom it deserves.”
Next, the rosemary: “May this rosemary provide remembrance of the happy memories we once shared, in hopes that love may blossom once more.”
Next, the juniper berries: “May this juniper banish the ugliness of the past.”
Next, egg shells: “May these egg shells protect me from future negativity and hurt.” 
And finally, the lavender: “May this lavender bring forth healing, and peace, so that hurt may never fill my heart again.

I left the jar half full, signifying an open heart that always has room for more love, and ample room for more happy memories to soon fill the space. Finally, I sealed the jar with white wax.

Hello everyone! Something a little different here today!

I wanted to make a sort of chart for the canon human soul traits, their negative attributes/mirrors, and opposites.

So what’s the difference between a Negative Attribute/Mirror to the Opposite trait?

Negative Traits aren’t opposites of the soul trait, but are negative reflections of the trait. For example, JUSTICE’s negative mirror is RETRIBUTION, because RETRIBUTION is taking things into your own hands and punishing others based upon your own judgement which doesn’t always mean you’re in the right to do so. In fact, RETRIBUTION is often associated with anger and revenge rather than fair JUSTICE.

The rest of this post is just going to be me rambling about the idea, so I do apologize for that.

BRAVERY

  • Negative - Heedlessness. Heedlessness is when you jump into a situation without thinking it through. It’s also a synonym for recklessness.
  • Opposite - Cowardice. Of course, the opposite of being brave is cowering in fear. I do want to make a point that being afraid is not the same as being a coward. Cowardice is running away when you’re scared, Bravery is standing your ground when you’re scared.

JUSTICE

  • Negative - Retribution. As I said before, Retribution is when you punish someone more so out of revenge than fairness.
  • Opposite - Corruption. When you yourself are committing the malicious act, the crime, the wrong thing. You are more morally black than white.

PERSEVERANCE

  • Negative - Resignation. If Perseverance is supposed to be the will power and strength to endure harsh times and trials, then Resignation is the acceptance of something undesirable but inevitable.Not surrendering, but not actively fighting back. You’re in a sort of standstill.
  • Opposite - Capitulation. The act of surrendering or ceasing to resist an opponent or demand. You don’t have the willpower or strength to endure the harsher trials, and you do what’s easier–which means to surrender to your opposing force and obey it/them.

PATIENCE

  • Negative - Inertia. Patience means to actively tolerate delay, trouble, or suffering without getting upset, but Inertia means to have a tendency to do nothing or to remain unchanged. Lethargic, almost like sloth.
  • Opposite - Impatience. A bit of a boring obvious one, and pretty self explanatory. You can’t tolerate delay, trouble or suffering without getting upset.

INTEGRITY

  • Negative - Sanctimonious. Integrity is about sticking to your morals, but Sanctimonious means to put your morals above others and believe your morals and self are better than every one elses. A sort of Self-righteousness.
  • Opposite - Hypocrisy. Holding someone to one standard then someone else or yourself to another. You don’t stick to the same consistent morality, you just hop around and say whatever suits you in the moment.

KINDNESS

  • Negative - Bleeding Heart. Sadly, this is the only soul trait that I couldn’t find a single word for, but there’s a danger in being too kind. Having a Bleeding Heart means that you are dangerously soft-hearted, to the point where you are kind towards those whom do not deserve it, even if they hurt you time and time again, or you give kindness to someone who takes advantage of it, intentionally or not.
  • Opposite - Cruelty. Another sort of obvious opposite. Rather than wanting to help others, you take satisfaction in hurting others. Simple as that.

DETERMINATION

  • Negative - OBSESSION. - Think about how there’s that one game where the boss you’re stuck on is only just a little bit too strong for you to beat. Or that one class in school that you have a 99% in. That one rival of yours whom is just a little  bit better than you. Your DETERMINATION to best these situations can easily become OBSESSION, the feeling of abandoning everything else for the sake of accomplishing your goal… even to the point of abandoning your morals just to satisfy yourself.
  • Opposite - IRRESOLUTION. Hesitant, uncertain. The feeling of being stuck in one place, and unable to continue forward. if DETERMINATION is the act of actively chasing your goals, then IRRESOLUTION is the moment when you can’t, or don’t.

So, what happens when a human displays a NEGATIVE of their soul trait?

Well… nothing. They’re not cancelling out their soul trait, but rather, their state of mind has changed, for the worse. A SOUL’S power isn’t affected by the Negative mirror, and sometimes it can even be dangerously enhanced by it.

When a human displays the OPPOSITE trait of their soul trait, however, their soul weakens. It dims. It loses the ability to preform the powers it was able to beforehand. The more of this negative trait you display the weaker your soul gets.

I’m not sure what else to add, but feel free to tell me what you think! I had fun with this, so I hope everyone else does too!

Witchy FAQ

This is a list of frequently asked questions and answers, from my own perspective. 

  • Can I make moon water or do a moon spell when it’s cloudy outside?
    • Yes, moonlight still shines through the clouds.
  • Can I make moon water during any lunar phase?
    • Yes but it’ll hold different properties than full moon water.
  • I think I’ve been cursed, what do I do?
    • A reflection spell to reflect the caster’s negative energy back at them, or a combination of banishing, cleansing, and protection. 
  • Well how do I know if I’ve been cursed?
    • Honestly, you probably haven’t been cursed. Coincidences do happen. But in this situation, the placebo effect is very much real - if you think you’ve been cursed, you’re bound to think every negative thing that happens to you is the result of such. 
    • You can use divination to see if you’ve been cursed, or do this to find out.
  • I’m hearing weird noises at night and I’m convinced it’s a malefic spirit (or something similar)! What do I do?
    • A banishing spell.
  • What crystals are good for X?
  • What herbs are good for X?
  • Do you have any resources for beginner witches?
  • *Questions about astrology*
    • Astrology Tag - I’ve reblogged a ton of great info on astrology, zodiac signs, etc.
  • Which lunar phase is best for X kind of spell?
  • Do you have any info on X deity?
    • Probably not. I might have a little information on Hellenic deities but even then it’s not much.
  • Do you have any resources for Wicca?
    • I am not Wiccan, so no I do not.
  • Can I have a free reading?
    • I don’t do free readings but plenty of other users on here do - check out the #tarotcommunity tag.
  • Will you cast a spell for me?
    • Nope.
  • Do you have a spell for X?
    • Maybe. Check my tags list and search my blog before asking me please.
  • Can you write a spell for me?
    • Nope. I used to take spell requests but I can’t keep up with it anymore.
  • What does X and X mean in my birth chart?
    • I’m not a birth chart expert, check out cafeastrology or one of the many other websites that offer free birth chart analysis. 

This is just the beginning… I’ll continue to add onto it as I think of more. 

Why You Feel Unlovable or Unworthy

DISCLAIMER: This post is geared toward those who have experienced emotional abuse or emotional neglect. Of course, there are many who have been victims of other kinds of abuse, who most certainly feel this way as well–as this blog addresses specifically emotional abuse/neglect, I am focusing on that here.

1. As children, we learn about who we are based on how our parents treat or interact with us. So, if our parents called us bad or selfish, focused on what we did wrong, frequently criticized, rarely acknowledged our good, etc, then we come to see ourselves as bad or wrong. If we are bad, we are unworthy to receive good. If our parents neglected us, put their needs before ours, expected us to see their feelings and needs as more important, or worse, to attend to them at the expense of ourselves, then we come to see ourselves as unimportant. Unloved. I do not matter.

2. Relatively healthy parents act as an accurate mirror to our emotions and feelings. When parents accurately mirror back feelings and empathize with the child (i.e., “So you’re feeling ___ because of ___”), the child implicitly learns that it is okay to feel, that they are valid in their emotions, and in turn, are accepted for who they are and what they experience. In contrast, when parents reflect a negative reaction to the child’s feelings or do not mirror at all, the child learns that they are wrong for what they feel, they are bad for it, and in turn, are not accepted for who they are and what they are experiencing. And if you haven’t guessed so already… as children, we carry these “lessons” on into our adulthood.

3. As a result, we do not see ourselves as good, lovable, or worthy–because our family never told us how to see those qualities in us. Our childhood and adolescence often set the stage for our identity development. So if you were told you were selfish or bad, you learn that you are those things. If you were emotionally neglected and had your needs constantly put aside, you learn you are unimportant and unloved. If you had your emotions constantly disregarded or were shamed for them, your identity becomes, “I am wrong”–in who you are and what you do. You can’t see your good qualities, if you were never taught how. Your parents were unable to build the foundation for you to see them.

So how do you start viewing yourself as good, lovable, and worthy? By learning to see how the above applies to your life. By separating who you are from how you were raised to see yourself. By reframing your thinking: at your core, you ARE good, lovable, and worthy–you just have not yet been trained to see it. You feel unworthy or unloved, because at a young age, you learned that this is who you are (because of how you were treated). You were raised to be blind to your goodness, and to see yourself as wrong, unworthy, and unlovable instead. The more you practice this new understanding and thinking, the less power those negative thoughts will have on you… and the more you will allow yourself to see good in who you are. 

And as always, please give yourself patience along the healing process ❤️

anonymous asked:

How to use astrology to healthily express your chart

Study > analyze > synthesize > reflect > identify > move forward.

Study astrology, learn how to interpret your natal chart (and others) on your own. Analyze & get to know yourself; cultivate self-awareness so you can see astrology within. Synthesize your placements so that you can look at your chart as a cohesive illustration of who you are. Reflect on the positive and negative expressions of your chart, and how you’re handling the challenges; simply assess your current state and present level of development. Identify the negative manifestations and the problems they are causing; pinpoint your issues. Move forward by taking action to solve those issues – cultivate self-discipline, self-acceptance, maturity, a constructive inner voice, strength, motivation, whatever you need to make personal progress.

It starts with astrology, sure, but it isn’t about astrology. It’s about you, and the conscious choice & commitment to self-development. So learn, create the consciousness, but then you have to choose and commit, which you can’t do by looking at the stars – you have to look at & within yourself.

Just to make one thing clear:

I will not, under any circumstances, watch Teen Wolf 6B and I advise my fellow Sterek fans to do much the same:

1) From the trailer you can already tell it’s going to be Lydia, Scott, Malia centric and Stiles and Derek will probably not pop up until much later, if not in the last episodes; not worth it

2) After making it impossible for the actors to enjoy themselves, basically causing all the favourites to leave the show - including our beloved Hoechlin - they somehow lured them back in; shame on them

3) It’s baiting…AGAIN. I don’t believe for one second that the same writers who came up with fucking st*alia and ruined that in favour of fucking st*ydia would ever even consider making Sterek actually canon; don’t let them fool you

4) They know their views have declined to the point of ridicule - which also reflects negatively on THEIR careers - so now they are desperately trying to lure us back in to safe their own asses; after everything, don’t give them the satisfaction 

If you really want to see the seasons I can’t stop you, of course, but I’d suggest not watching it on TV or Netflix. If you really want to see it, watch it on a streaming side where your views don’t count, so they don’t get what they want from this. 

Peace Out
an angry (and a admittedly a little excited) Sterek shipper 

Black Salt, and its Usages in Both Black and White Witchcraft

Image Credit: Juniper Wildwalk ,(post author) ** BY-SA-NC

So, as a continuation of my new little chain of posts on black magick, I’m going to be talking about the substance known as black salt. This is a common element of many curses and charms, but is also protective and can be used for white magickal purposes with ease.


What is Black Salt?

Black salt is, well, salt with things that are black added. It is not the same as culinary black salt which is rock salt with activated charcoal added to it: in witchcraft, black salt usually has black pepper, crushed charcoal and sometimes dyes or other black things added. Crushed shells or rocks are also pretty popular. 

My own black salt uses a mixture of crushed charcoal and pepper, but the wood I get the charcoal from varies depending on the usage. Just for general usages, however, I tend to use oak or eucalyptus because it makes good charcoal for small-scale production. 

If you want your salt to be especially good for curses and black magick, add a few crushed chili seeds or a little sulphur. 

If you want your salt to be especially good for protection and white magick, add some iron scrapings or a little cinnamon.


Witchy Uses for Black Salt

  • Black salt is protective. It’s not just black magick that can benefit from the inclusion of black salt! It’s a powerful protective charm that absorbs negative energies and curses into itself and will rid you of their harmful influence. Sprinkle it around the doors and windows of your house, and no negative powers will be able to get inside. Replace it often, every fortnight or so. Carry a phial of it around with you to protect you on the go, and rub some into your skin if you are under the influence of black magick. 

  • Black salt is reflective. If you wish to not simply nullify or absorb negative energy but to actively reflect it back upon those who cast it, rub the salt into your door and window frames and on the four point of your bed, whilst reciting a spell that energy shall return upon those who sent it. Make the spell up yourself for the greatest power!

  • Black salt is potent. Black salt can of course be used for cursing, and in doing so it add an element of darkness to any spell. It is also good for increasing the potency of curses, especially curses involved in repulsion, repelling, or driving people out of places. Sprinkle it over somewhere that they regularly visit or live in to make them want to leave that place, or use it in any spell designed to banish a person or thing from your life or to keep a thing or person away from you. It also makes a good addition to hot foot powder, and often forms a basic ingredient of goofer dust from hoodoo.

  • Black salt is symbolic. It symbolises dark or new moons, eclipses, and waning moons. It also symbolises the Crone of Wicca, and the Morrígna of Celtic lore. It is used to represent many things, including war, strife and conflict, and Order turning to Chaos (which is not, in and of itself, necessarily a bad or “evil” thing). 

  • Black salt is spiritual. It can be used to greatly increase the strength of trances, and is also a very useful method preventing those same trances from summoning negative spirits that may harm your absent body. It can also be sprinkled over ground that you wish to purify before you perform rituals or sabbat work, especially when they are related to Samhain, Mabon, Yule or Imbolc (the “dark” sabbats because they form the Winter and Autumn set). 

*****

Black salt is excellent to use in conjunction with sage smoke-cleansing, as the sage will purify and drive away negativity and the black salt will absorb what is left.


I hope that helps someone! 

– Juniper

The attraction principle is ruled by Venus, the handheld mirror (♀) so if you’re going to convey negative vibes it’s all just going to reflect onto you. The mirror is a dual process it’s not one-way. So you want good vibes?? Then you need to give out (projection) what you demand to receive (reflection).