OUI, IN TODAY’S BEGGAR’S BUFFET, we shall prepare Fingerjab Rice.
Couple of tomatoes
Seasonings that appeal to your temperament
Wrath (store-bought is fine)
First you put damn rice to cook. When you got like 7 or 8 mins left on your rice, oil up a frying pan and condemn your chopped onions to the fiery sinner’s death they deserve (’cause they take longer to atone than the tomatoes and the eggs). Once the onions have atoned enough and have begun turning to the brown of penance, throw in your chopped tomatoes and eggs. Scramble the shit out of that potion, AND DON’T FORGET to season it now so it really packs that Yum Factor via absorption, for food is much like us: Gluttons. Salt, pepper, and merken is what has been used in the example provided above. If it’s looking like a good, warm, and healthy meal, fucking throw it. If it’s looking like viscera, ritual successful.
and that’s it, enjoy your Fingerjab Rice, also known as “I want to eat a hot meal but I don’t want to actually prepare something elaborate like a sauce but I also want something a bit more dressed up than just putting a fried egg on top or eating it with a basic ass salad, and for being so picky with this particular meal and what I want it to satisfy within my bosom, my mother jabbed me in the ribs with her index and middle fingers and told me to make my own food if I am going to be so fucking picky as to what I desire” rice, known to have won four heavyweight championships in the Milky Way.