redemption zone

also I think it’s worth mentioning that the bag Taako got from Istus almost definitely has that power crystal from cycle 17 in it and I swear if during the end game Lucas barrels in with a fuck ton of soul-powered robots and they get a robot army I’m going to cry

like I know it’s a longshot and probably not going to happen because I think there are too many variables that maybe contradict it (?) but Griffin’s repeatedly described Phandalin as a “perfect circle of black glass” which, on a larger scale, is similar to what the planar mirrors in Lucas’ lab were, and now all I can think about is how fucking insanely badass it would be if they used Phandalin - arguably their biggest failure/regret - as a way to banish/ultimately defeat the Hunger LIKE THAT WOULD BE SO AMAZING AND A TOTAL ‘COME FULL CIRCLE’ MOMENT (GET IT see it’s even a pun it’s perfect) dude I want it so bad I don’t care how many hoops he’d have to jump through to make it work I want it so bad

10

Top Ten: STEPHEN KING ADAPTATIONS

10) CARRIE (Brian De Palma 1976): The seminal horror film from Brian De Palma is King’s original mind bending story of bullying gone wrong. Sissy Spacek might have been a little too old for the role of a high school girl. But the performances of Piper Laurie as Carrie’s insane mother, and Betty Buckley as the gym teacher add class to the entire film. A great career start from John Travolta and Nancy Allen, the scene that has made the film famous might have been lampooned so many times, but it’s still a piece of cinematic genius. From the awkward and slightly perverted opening to the big shock at the end, De Palma is clearly in love with the story and wants to make a film that is about women, that both genders can enjoy. He succeeds. (Based on the novel “Carrie”)

9) STAND BY ME (Rob Reiner 1986): A classic story of childhood features brilliant performances from the young cast. Based on the third novella in the compendium Different Seasons. The touching story of a group of children that discover a dead body. Something that could be seen as a pre-curser to Danny Boyle’s Shallow Grave, the story has no pretensions of being anything other than a beautiful ode to growing up. Richard Dreyfuss classes up the whole film with his cinematic stature. But the entire film hinges on the likeability of the young actors, it might only be Keifer Sutherland that actually gained a career after the film, and the tragic loss of River Phoenix make for upsetting viewing, but the entire film is beautiful. (Based on the novella “The Body” from Different Seasons)

8) SECRET WINDOW (David Koepp 2004): From the outset a rather incidental film from all involved, but actually a hidden gem in the catalogue of King adaptations, Koepp films and Depp performances. Depp plays a writer who is accused by a strange man, John Tuturro, of stealing his story. The thriller builds on two great central performances. Once from an incredibly sinister Tuturro and another from Depp on fine form before his apparent downfall. This film might, yet, prove to be the last great Depp performance and if that be, well it’s a decent enough performance, twitchy, worried and desperate. The film builds to an inevitable twist, and your reaction really depends on how much you read and understand film cliches. (Based on the novella “Secret Window, Secret Garden” from Four Past Midnight.)

7) THE DEAD ZONE (David Cronenberg 1983): Christopher Walken plays a man who after a horrific accident is able to see a person’s future by touching them. What follows is a part horror film, part superhero origin story and part political thriller. Walken, like Spacek in Carrie, does great as someone trying to understand what has happened to him and what is going to continue happening to him. Martin Sheen plays the politician with a heart of absolute black and perfectly plays the role of villain. While in lesser hands Sheen would be the hero and Walken the villain, Cronenberg mounts a thrilling horror film with building tension. Not one of his showier films, but one of the more enjoyable and with a brilliantly understated central performance by Walken, who reigns in his mannerisms to play the meek and mild Johnny Smith gives one of his career bests. (Based on the novel “The Dead Zone”.)

6) THE MIST (Frank Darabont 2007): The first of three Darabont films to make it on the list, this tense supernatural monster movie pits a group of New England townsfolk against a a sinister mist and the monster that lie within it. Darabont plays down the monsters outside for the monsters inside with a host of brilliant character actors showing their worth: Thomas Jane and Nathan Gamble play father and son to great success, with William Sadler and Marcia Gay Harden providing villainous support, Laurie Holden, Toby Jones and Andre Braugher also class up the proceedings. The ending is either a stroke of brilliance, or a let down depending how invested you are in the characters, but as a tense inspection of how society breaks down under pressure, it’s pure brilliance. (Based on the novella “The Mist” from Skeleton Crew).

5) APT PUPIL (Bryan Singer 1998): A brilliant study in evil, and the corruption of two people with souls already rotting to the core, Apt Pupil casts Brad Renfro as the all American apt pupil of the title, and Ian McKellen as the nazi down the road hiding in plain sight. In Todd Bowden, Renfro gives a performance that should stand up alongside the likes of Malcolm McDowell’s Alex De Large or even Ezra Miller’s Kevin. McKellen already a respected actor sinks his thespian teeth into the role of Arthur Denker, and later his true identity of Kurt Dussander. While David Schwimmer might look a little out of place in this broiling tension filled thriller, McKellen keeps everything grounded with his sublime performance. The scene in which McKellen marches in a nazi uniform is particularly unsettling. (Based on the novella “Apt Pupil” from Different Seasons).

4) MISERY (Rob Reiner 1990): That moment all writer’s hate - when someone approaches you and tells you that they’re your biggest fan. Psycho fanboys threatening death because you botched the latest issue of Spider-Man have got nothing on Annie Wilks played to perfection by Kathy Bates, with James Caan as famed novelist Paul Sheldon who writes the Misery Chastain books. Clearly drawing on his own nightmare scenarios, King’s novel proved to be an unsettling chiller, but under the direction of Reiner who had success years earlier with Stand By Me, mounts a tense almost two person drama about an obsessive fan, and a writer at the end of his tether. Bates’ Academy Award win has gone on to become a benchmark in female villains and in the “bunny boiler” subset. The scene involving a sledge hammer, James Caas, and an ankle makes for one of the most wince inflicting moments in cinema. (Based on the novel “Misery”).

3) THE GREEN MILE (Frank Darabont 1999): One of two King prison drama, the second of three Darabont films, and a supernatural story about the goodness one man can bring all come to the forefront of this moving drama. Death row officers Tom Hanks, David Morse, Barry Pepper and Jeffrey DeMunn are at their wits end with the obnoxious Doug Hutchinson. The inmates, Michael Jeter and Graham Greene are all put out of sorts with the arrival of Michael Clarke Duncan’s towering John Coffey convicted of raping and murdering two little girls. This epic film, featuring Sam Rockwell, Gary Sinise, James Cromwell, Patricia Clarkson, William Sadler and Dabbs Greer all offer brilliant performances, but the film belongs to Hanks and Duncan who both give career bests. The film builds to a gentle climax and the finale leaves you in floods of tears. Darabont’s sensitive direction, as well as another brilliant score from Thomas Newman make for a long, poetic and beautiful experience. (Based on the novel “The Green Mile”).

2) THE SHINING (Stanley Kubrick 1980): Considered by some to be the ultimate horror film, Kubrick’s adaptation of the King’s most infamous novel makes many differences from the novel but offers a different take on the same idea. Jack Nicholson takes a job as a winter caretaker for the Overlook Hotel and brings his wife and young son along. What follows is a terrifying journey into the psyche of a man haunted by vice, conflicted by anger and hunted by the spirits of The Overlook. Scatman Crothers is brilliant as Dick Halloran, but the film is all about Nicholson’s simmering performance. Of course the greatest moment comes from an almost gentle conversation in a bathroom between Nicholson’s Jack and Philip Stone’s Delbert Grady. A simple conversation that grows and grows as fear becomes more and more. With the legacy of the film as well as the death of Kubrick it’s unlikely we’ll see a film based on Doctor Sleep anytime soon, the changes made from novel to film would need Kubrick himself to decide how to do it. Which is a shame, because Kubrick’s Doctor Sleep would have been quite the film. (Based on the novel “The Shining”).

1) THE SHAWSHANK REDEMPTION (Frank Darabont 1994): Of course it has to be the number one, the enduring favourite of any film buff. Accused of a crime he may or may not have committed, Tim Robbins’ Andy Dufrense shows up at Shawshank prison and befriends Morgan Freeman’s life timer and “only guilty man in Shawshank” Red. The friendship is the centre of this moving drama film which offers the idea that fear can hold you prisoner, but hope can set you free. Clancy Brown, Willam Sadler and Bob Gunton all class up the proceedings, with a brilliant Thomas Newman score and the soothing tones of Freeman’s narration letting us know we’re in safe hands. Gunton’s Warden Norton might go down, along with Grady, Mrs Carmody and Annie Wilks are one of the great Stephen King villains, here is played with just the right amount of malice and cruelty, but still a believable menace. The final scene might not be what King fans would want, but it perfectly ends a film that is, essentially, a love story between two guys. (Based on the novella “Rita Hayworth and Shawshank Redemption” from Different Seasons).

The Fuckin Twilight Zone

So the young man I once was deeply in lust with is back. You know,  the guy that made me develop a weed habit? Well he showed up on my doorstep the other day. I can not lie, he looked yummy, and of course a wave of emotions (good and bad) came crawling back. But I’m way less naive to his obnoxious antics these days. Crazy what time apart from someone can do. 

The fun doesn’t stop there. I randomly received a call from the little fucker that hurt my feelings a year ago. We haven’t reached the story of the only short man I ever cared about. We’ll get to him later. But he called to tell me how much he missed me and other “take me back-isms”.

The point I’m trying to make is why do men usually have to disappear to truly understand and appreciate great women? The, usually come back later down the line after that woman has endured enough hurt. She moves differently now. She sees past your bullshit. But her heart still holds much love for them….